AN: HI… hello…. Im sorry... that it has been so long. I'm taking a look at this fic and making some changes which is why I deleted several chapters and reuploaded these edited ones. Hopefully with these changes I can finally finish this fic!

Naruto didn't get scared easily.

When he was little everything was scary; thunder and lightning, shadows on the wall, strange sounds in his empty apartment. He would shiver and cry and try to hide from the imagined monsters in his head.

But it didn't take long to realize that no one was going to come hold him and comfort him and tell him everything would be okay. It didn't matter how much he cried, or how scared he became, no one was going to come.

And so the only thing left for him to do was to stop being scared. He got out of his hiding spot and he turned on the lights and he steeled himself against the raging sounds outside. He told himself it was silly to be scared and he laughed it off even as he shook and dried his tears. At first he was just pretending not to be afraid, but eventually, after enough pretending, he just stopped being scared.

And he never really got scared again. Sure, Tsunade, and later, Sakura, could make faces that sent shivers down his spine, but even that he could laugh off. He liked to think he was so brave that nothing would scare him, and it was mostly true. Sasuke called him a scaredy cat, and yeah, maybe he'd been afraid for a moment, but then he remembered even if he got scared, nobody but him was gonna do anything about it, so he steeled himself to face real monsters. He'd stared failure in the face, and he'd overcome that fear. He'd stared death in the face, several times, and every time he'd been too determined, too steadfast to be afraid.

And he got older, and less and less things were scary. He was strong, he had power, what could he possibly have to be afraid of anymore?

And then- Sasuke's kitchen, the kiss, the shock, the look of surprise and betrayal, the shame.

And as he ran out of his best friend's apartment he got an answer to that question.

And he had never in his life been more afraid.

That night.

That night.

When everything went so wrong. When his body betrayed him. When he betrayed his friend.

And he'd run. In that moment he couldn't think about anything else, couldn't stand the way Sasuke looked at him, couldn't stand himself. So he ran, and he couldnt go home, so he went somewhere he could think. He climbed to the top of the Hokage Monument and sat on the Third's head. He couldn't bring himself to sit on his dad's sculpture, not when he felt like such a failure, such a disaster. He sat under the moonlight and hid, shivering in fear and knowing that no one was going to come comfort him this time, either.

What had he done?

He hadn't planned it. He didn't know he was going to do it. But he couldn't blame the alcohol either… It was him. He'd just done it without thinking. Like he did everything in his whole stupid life. Everyone was right about him. He was such an idiot!

That look on Sasuke's face… he shivered harder and tried not to cry.

It was that look that made him so scared. Sasuke had looked at him like he'd never seen him before, like he never wanted to see him again.

After everything he'd done to bring Sasuke back, after finally having Sasuke in his life for real, and he threw it away just for some stupid, stupidkiss. He'd lost Sasuke once before, had lost so much time… what if Sasuke left again?

What if that kiss drove him away? What if he hated Naruto now?

Naruto bit his lip to keep the tears from falling. He was so afraid. What if he had ruined everything?

"No," he said aloud to no one. He swiped a hand over his eyes and he stopped shivering. He wouldn't be afraid. He would fix it. Maybe he hadn't been drunk, but Sasuke definitely was…

His cheeks had been so pink, his eyes so dark, unfocussed, his lips...

Naruto shook his head and the other image returned: Sasuke glaring at him, sharingan eyes spinning wildly, static crackling over his skin.

No, he had to stop being so scared. Sasuke couldn't hate him. Sasuke couldn't leave him, not again. Nothing mattered as long as Sasuke didn't leave again. He didn't have to feel this way about Sasuke. It could have just been an accident… a fluke…

He was drunk…

It was just a joke, Sasuke, ha ha ha ha…

Yes. He could do that. He could pretend. It would be easy.

Just like pretending not to be afraid anymore.

He could pretend not to be in love with his best friend. He could pretend forever, if it meant Sasuke would stay. It wouldn't be so hard, really…

If he pretended enough, maybe it would be true.

"I was so drunk last night, Sasuke! It was an accident, I swear! Tell me you aren't still mad!"

He never could tell if Sasuke believed him or not. It terrified him. He was constantly on edge, never sure if he was doing or saying the right thing around Sasuke. But he couldn't let Sasuke leave, so he made himself be normal, and friendly, and just act like everything was how it was before, no matter how it broke him down inside.

And Sasuke was different. He was quieter, more careful, distant. It drove Naruto crazy. He just wanted to fix it, make it go back to how it was before. Before his stupid hormones ruined everything.

It had been a week since that night, and Naruto's nerves were frayed. He and Sasuke had sparred earlier that day, because he had insisted, because it was something normal, something they always did. Sasuke had started to object, but anxiety overcame Naruto (what if they never did anything normal again? Was Sasuke thinking about leaving again? Please dont let him leave again) and he pushed until Sasuke relented. The fight was especially tame for them, they just danced around each other, barely touching. It was probably for the best, but at the same time it had only made Naruto's anxiety worse. He let Sasuke win, and Sasuke glared at him and called him stupid for throwing the match. And it was almost normal for a second, and Naruto had grinned and apologized, promising a better fight next time, and then asked Sasuke if he wanted to get Ichiraku and some beer after they cleaned up.

And Sasuke's face went sort of dark, and he made some excuse about being tired and not hungry, and Naruto kept pretending. He pretended to smile and act like everything was fine as he watched Sasuke walk off, and fear gripped him that Sasuke might just keep walking and walk right out of the village and out of his life. Again.

He went to Ichiraku alone. Teuchi knew something was wrong when Naruto sat on a stool quietly and only had one bowl of ramen. He'd just ordered his second sake when she appeared.

"N-Naruto-kun?"

He turned and saw her illuminated in a yellow streetlight and it almost seemed like her eyes glowed.

"Hinata? What are you doing out so late?"

"It isn't so late," she said, coming over to him with a small smile. "I just left Sakura's house. She wanted my help making some healing ointments."

"Oh!" He exclaimed. "Like the one you gave me during the chunin exams!"

She flushed brightly but nodded, and motioned to the empty seat beside him.

"May I sit here?"

"Huh? Oh! Yeah, of course!"

She sat despite the flustered pigment of her face. It was surprisingly bold for her, and it made Naruto blush too as he remembered another time she had been surprisingly bold. She ordered food and they sat in somewhat awkward silence before Naruto thought to ask,

"So Sakura wanted help with healing ointments? I thought she was supposed to be good at healing."

Hinata smiled.

"She's the best healer in the village," she replied. "But she wanted to know my technique for making the ointments to see if she could imbue them with extra chakra to work even better. But, actually, we didn't get much work done on it tonight."

"Oh yeah? How come?"

Her hair was covering her face but the tips of her ears were red.

"Oh…. we just started talking about other things…"

"Like what?"

No reply. Her food arrived and she delicately started eating. He took another sip of sake. And then,

"What about you, Naruto? Is everything alright?"

"Oh, yeah," He lied. "Why?"

"You don't usually drink sake."

And it was true, but it was a little embarrassing and flattering that she paid enough attention to him to notice something like that. He sighed.

"Yeah, you're right." He took another sip and then raised the cup to her, smiling half-heartedly. "And it's not like it does anything anyway. I'm just wasting my money."

She took another bite and then gave him a quizzical look.

"Alcohol doesn't really affect me. I guess because of Kurama's chakra I—what's the word? Metabobalize it too quickly? I dunno, Sakura explained it to me one time."

"Oh!" She exclaimed, and then softly added, "that's too bad…"

"How come?"

"Well, if you're drinking even though it doesn't affect you, you must wish that it did."

He blinked a few times and exhaled a laugh.

"Yeah," he grinned sheepishly. "I guess you're right. I think I wanted to drink because I… had something on my mind."

She stared at him with those big pale eyes, and her face was so open and she looked like she really wanted to listen. He couldn't help himself. She was surprisingly easy to open up to. He'd never really noticed it before.

"I… made a friend angry with me," he started, already feeling silly. "And I, sort of, apologized, and I think, maybe, it's okay now, but I keep feeling like I messed up really bad, and I keep trying to fix it, but it just seems like it's making it worse. Does that make sense?"

She nodded.

"So I came here trying to think of something to do that would make it better. I think I should just keep trying and we'll go back to normal. It'll eventually work out, right?"

"Maybe…" she said slowly, pausing to think. "But did you think that maybe your friend needs some space before things can go back to normal? I don't really know what's going on, but some people have to take time to process things, and it might feel a little strange before it gets better."

Naruto stared at her. And he must have stared too long because her face blushed bright red again and she returned to her food.

"Sorry!" He said quickly, and looked away.

"It's okay," came a meek, shy response, and when he glanced at her again she was smiling. He realized that he found her shy little smile very cute.

"Some space, huh? Maybe I can try that. Just for a little while."

"I'm sure your friend will forgive you eventually, Naruto-kun."

And somehow when she said it, Naruto actually believed that it was true. It was like looking at her smile had made all his anxiety and guilt disappear for just a little while.

He ordered another bowl of ramen, and then another, and she sat there with him while he ate them both, casually discussing their mutual friends, and Naruto's hokage training, and their youth, and missions they'd been on. It was nearly midnight by the time they left, and Naruto felt lighter (despite the fact that he'd eventually eaten four bowls of ramen). Hinata was really nice to talk to, actually, even if sometimes he said things that made her blush and go quiet. She had an easier time speaking to him than she had before, and he got to know much more about her. She was kind, and funny, and interesting, and he'd always known she was brave, but he just started realizing that she was really cute, too.

So when it was time for them to part ways, it didn't feel strange for him to turn back to her and say,

"Um… Hinata?"

"Y-yes?"

"Do you think you want to have dinner tomorrow night, too?"

He expected her to go bright red and he wasn't disappointed, but she also looked radiantly happy when she squeaked out a nervous,

"Yes!" And ran off into the night.

It wasn't until much later that it even occurred to Naruto that he might have only asked Hinata out to distract him from thinking about Sasuke. But by then it didn't matter anymore, because if that had ever been true, it wasn't true anymore. He loved her, and not as a substitute, not because she got pregnant, not for any of those reasons.

He loved her because of all those other things about her; her kindness, her softness, her bravery, her beauty, and the way she always knew exactly the right thing to say to him to make him feel better.

He loved her.

And he always would.

So he decided to follow her advice, and he gave Sasuke space. He spent time with her instead, and it was nice and good. And when he kissed her he wasn't thinking about Sasuke at all.

Maybe his pretending had worked just like he thought it would.

He still missed Sasuke, like a steady ache in his heart that he carried around every day. And they still saw each other sometimes. They still sparred. They still went to Ichiraku after. But there was something in the air between them, a distance that Naruto hadn't expected. He kept waiting for the perfect time to close the distance, to go back to how they were before, but the time never came.

And then Hinata got pregnant. They'd only been together four months, and as soon as Naruto found out his entire perspective shifted. He held her in his arms and cried thinking about the child they would have, and he proposed to her the next day. He knew it wasn't ideal, it wasn't planned, it wasn't how things were supposed to happen, but he couldn't find it in himself to be mad about it. In fact, when he thought about the baby Hinata was carrying almost nothing could get him down. He almost forgot about that night completely, until the moment he asked Sasuke to be his best man, and Sasuke made an excuse to turn him down.

It hurt. Anxiety, and now guilt, overwhelmed Naruto. How could he be losing his best friend and be happy at the same time? How could he let himself be this happy when Sasuke was alone? He tried to read Sasuke's mood from what little he saw of him, but Sasuke had always been good at hiding his emotions, at putting on that blank face to keep people out. He just didn't used to try and keep Naruto out, but somehow Naruto could tell anyway. Sasuke was sad.

He didn't come to the wedding. Naruto feared that any day would be the day he left, and Naruto didn't know what he would do. He couldn't leave his pregnant wife to track down his best friend and bring him back again.

But time passed and Sasuke didn't leave. He kept his distance, more and more, and Naruto was torn. He was grateful that Sasuke was still in the village, still in his life, but they barely spoke, and they stopped sparring and stopped seeing each other outside of missions.

Sasuke didn't come to see Nori when he was born, but he came to Naruto's Hokage ceremony. Naruto had even caught his eye at one point and Sasuke had smiled, and Hinata was there with his son, and maybe he didn't see as much of Sasuke as he wanted, and maybe that spot in his chest hurt every day from missing his best friend, but Sasuke was still here. There was time to fix everything. Everything would work out eventually.

And then life happened. He got so busy as Hokage, and spending time with Hinata, and raising Nori. He only ever saw Sasuke to give him missions, and Sasuke was too professional with him, and every time he saw him his chest hurt and he felt guilty and angry and guilty again because his life was so perfect. So, so close to perfect. And the only thing missing was his best friend by his side, but wanting that was the most selfish thing he could want, after everything that had happened.

He constantly doubted himself. Did he use Hinata to get over Sasuke? Did he abandon Sasuke once he found Hinata? Was he a bad person? Was he betraying BOTH of the most important people in his life at the same time? And worst of all, what kind of monster was he, really, to wish in his secret heart of hearts that he could somehow have them both?

But he just endured and held out hope that someday. Someday he could fix the thing that he'd done to ruin his friendship. And even though deep down Naruto knew he wanted more, Sasuke's friendship was what he knew he really needed.

And then… Hinata died. His son was taken hostage.

Just like that, his perfect life shattered. And all those years of restraint, of keeping distance, of pretending, of that constant ache in his chest where his best friend was supposed to be, it all overwhelmed him.

And he was so, so scared that he would lose his son, too. The only thing he had left of her; his perfect little Aonori.

He couldn't bring himself to pretend to not be scared. Not this time. For the first time in his life he needed someone to come and save him, and after all those years of carefully, nervously giving Sasuke the space he thought he wanted, he came crawling back. And somehow Sasuke didn't hate him, even after all that. After everything Naruto had done, he still cared.

He gave Naruto his son back.

And to repay him, Naruto begged for their friendship back. He knew it wasn't fair. The distance between them was his fault all along, all his mistakes that kept adding up and adding up. Asking Sasuke to forgive or ignore all of that just because Naruto selfishly missed him… it wasn't fair, but he couldn't help it.

Everything he'd done since that kiss, that night, it had all been to keep Sasuke from leaving. That had been enough for so long, but it wasn't enough anymore. He needed their friendship back. Just the friendship. He was too grief ridden from Hinata's death and grateful for getting Nori back that he couldn't begin to think about his feelings for Sasuke, and even if he could, he would never risk trying to kiss Sasuke again. Not after it had ended so horribly the last time. No, he just wanted his friend again.

And Sasuke said yes.

Maybe that was why he'd forgotten for a moment. Maybe that was why he fucked up and forgot for just one tiny second that Hinata was gone.

Because in that moment everything had been so perfect. His son was happy and healthy, his plans for Uzushiogakure were going smoothly, and Sasuke-Sasuke-his best friend was not just speaking to him again, but had agreed to look after his son for him. And they were getting along! Sasuke had taken Nori to get Mochi!

It was all so close to perfect that in that moment it felt like Hinata had to be alive. If everything was so perfect, how could she be gone? And so, he'd made the mistake of thinking she was waiting for him and Nori at home, like always.

"Two mochis?" he said, laughing, "just wait until your Mom hears that you—"

He caught himself almost immediately, but the damage was done.

"Dad?" Nori asked in that birdsong-soft voice, tilting his head curiously. "Hey Dad, when is Mom coming back, anyway?"

He was a horrible father.

Sasuke felt his heart break.

Not from the words Nori uttered, though they reminded Sasuke so much of himself he almost couldn't bear it; because of the look on Naruto's face. His son's innocent question was like being cut with a dull blade, slowly in the most agonizing way possible. And Sasuke could do nothing but stand there and watch as Naruto's happiness drained from his eyes and he moved his mouth pointlessly, unable to speak as his son stared up at him, helpless and confused.

"I—she's," Naruto began, his voice like dust. A sob broke from his chest and it seemed to crush what little life was left in Sasuke. He couldn't stand to see Naruto in so much pain but he couldn't think of what to do. He was no help to him. He was useless, he was nothing.

"She—we talked about this, Nori, she's—I—"

"Naruto."

Sasuke was amazed at how calm his voice sounded but grateful that it was. He knew he would have to stay calm if he was to do anything to help Naruto now. The blond's chest was heaving, his eyes wide and shining, panic written in every line of his body when he turned at the sound of Sasuke's voice. It seemed to shake him partly out of the state he'd been in. He carefully let Nori down to the floor, eyes locked on Sasuke.

Sasuke reached out to him, not to take his hand to lead him but to show him that he was there.

"Nori, I need to talk to your dad alone for a minute, okay?" he said, voice somehow still even, still calm. It even seemed to calm Nori when he spoke to him as the child's confusion dimmed and he nodded. "Don't worry it's just a grown up conversation. Muchi should still be in the living room, you should go play with him."

Another nod and Nori went on his way. Sasuke let Naruto decide where he went, following him as the hokage made his way into the kitchen, walking like a man half-dead. He collapsed to the floor the moment Sasuke shut the door behind them.

"What am I doing?"

"Naruto, that wasn't your fault," Sasuke began, uncertain and just as lost as Naruto seemed to be. He didn't know what he was doing either but since he wasn't the one sobbing on the floor in the middle of a panic attack it was up to him to help the man who was.

"He's too young to realize what happened. You just forgot, that's all."

"How could I say that? H—how could I forget—?"

"She's only been gone for two months," Sasuke told him, maintaining his calm. He tried to imagine how Itachi would be in this moment, cool and collected. Even Kakashi was skilled in handling intense situations like this, never letting himself be caught up in the emotional aspects. Sasuke had to be like that for Naruto. He could tell instinctually that was what Naruto needed.

Naruto pulled on the collar of his shirt, hand fisting into the fabric as he struggled to maintain steady breath. Sasuke saw the way his chest heaved, inconsistent shallow breaths trying to reach his lungs. He wasn't worried about Naruto's safety but the image bothered him nonetheless. He didn't like to see Naruto in pain; he never ever had, not once. The blond sobbed, folding over and resting his head against the tile.

"For a minute everything just felt… right. I forgot. I forgot. I—"

"It's not your fault," Sasuke repeated. It was what Naruto needed to hear. But he wasn't sure the blond even heard him; he was still too trapped in his own head, berating himself for his simple mistake.

"—Nori was there and happy to see me and my mission went so well and then you were there smiling and Nori was talking to you and I just thought everything was finally the way it was always supposed to be, my son and my best friend and my wife and—"

Sasuke saw the image so clearly in his mind it might as well have been his own daydream: Naruto in his Hokage robes with Hinata standing just beside him holding their son… and Sasuke by his side, smiling with them as if nothing ever happened between them. It was Naruto's perfect life and as much as it hurt to imagine, as much as Sasuke knew it never could have been that way, something inside him wished Naruto could have had that. If anyone deserved to be that happy it was Naruto.

There was nothing he could say to that, so he stood there quietly in his kitchen and let Naruto break down. It seemed to be the only thing he could do and he was grateful that he could do even that.

They stayed that way for several minutes until Naruto finally sat up, face puffy and red and sad. He sighed, shoulder's bunched and expression beaten down and sorry.

"Sasuke," he said. "I'm falling apart."

"I know," Sasuke replied, unrepentantly blunt. Naruto flinched as though hit but he didn't respond angry.

"I can't fall apart. I'm supposed to be the one who keeps everything together! I'm the Hokage, I'm the leader of the village and I'm a—I'm a father. What's Nori supposed to do if his own stupid dad can't even keep it together? I can't fall apart."

"I think you have to fall apart," was Sasuke's only answer. He wanted so badly to be there for Naruto, to be the reason Naruto smiled for once. He wanted to be able to give Naruto the life he thought for a moment he had before he realized that it had been stripped away but he couldn't have even ever given Naruto that much because he had stupidly gone and fallen in love with him and ruined everything before it even began. The least he could do was sit and listen to Naruto's problems and try to help the only way he knew how.

It was just like when Naruto had opened up about his wife's passing and the feelings of anger he had at the world; he opened up to Sasuke about his insecurities, he allowed himself to feel in front of Sasuke, to trust that Sasuke wouldn't judge him or criticize his thoughts.

It was the first time Sasuke had ever really seen Naruto this way.

Maybe it was just because of all the years they spent as rivals but even in the short time they'd had as friends before that night, when Sasuke was in the village and he and Naruto reformed and strengthened the bond they'd always had, Naruto hadn't been as open with his emotions as he was now. Sasuke could understand why, since he would have never shown his true emotions in front of Naruto back then either. They were still in competition somehow, though there wasn't really anything left for them to be competing over. Sasuke never wanted to appear weak in front of Naruto; he didn't want to lose his respect and he knew Naruto must have felt the same way.

And yet their years apart changed something somehow. Naruto's trust in him was implicit though undeserved and Sasuke knew that if things were different, if he were the one hurting, he would feel just as comfortable expressing himself to Naruto as Naruto felt crying in front of him.

Perhaps it was just the intensity of the situation or maybe Naruto just didn't feel like he had anyone else, but Sasuke chose to believe Naruto was looking up at him that way because he trusted Sasuke to be there for him.

Sasuke wanted to be there for Naruto but he was conflicted. At the same time he wanted to wrap Naruto in a warm blanket and keep him safe so nothing bad happened to him again, he also wanted to hit him and tell him to grow up because the world wasn't fair, they were proof of that. And even though the second option seemed harsh he knew Naruto would just smile softly and nod. He was more accustomed to the harsh realities of life than any coddling Sasuke could give him so the choice was simple.

"You have to feel like you're falling apart or you won't be able to get back up and put yourself back together."

Naruto looked up at him and Sasuke expected him to make some joke about Sasuke's motivational speaker personality again but he just kept looking sad and lost and asked,

"Is that what you had to do?"

It hit Sasuke hard because yes, it was. But it was more than that, too. It was Naruto.

"I had some help. Someone knocked some sense into me before I fell too far. I could do the same for you if you want?"

He made a show of cracking his knuckles and flexing his arm. It barely got a smile, but even that was worth it.

"I don't think I need that, but thanks for offering to kick my ass," Naruto huffed. "I mean it though, Sasuke. I always thought if I could just get you to come back to the village I could do anything but I don't think I can do this. I don't know anything about being a parent! How am I supposed to protect the village and raise Nori alone? I'll never be enough for him. Hin—Hinata was everything to him—and to me—and I can't, I can't, I can't replace her. I don't know what to do I just—Uuuaaarrrgh!" He roared in frustration, hands fisted in his short hair.

"Hm," Sasuke said after waiting a moment after Naruto's outburst. He raised a dark eyebrow lazily. "I guess it really has been a while."

He tried his best to keep his voice and expression light and it seemed to work. Naruto glanced at him, brought momentarily from his state of panic. Sasuke didn't elaborate until Naruto inclined his head questioningly and then Sasuke just shrugged.

"I guess it has been a while since I've talked with you," he clarified, even though it stung a little to admit. "It must have been a while for you to change so much. I don't remember Naruto Uzumaki every saying he couldn't do something. What was your ninja way again? Never give up? Hm, you wouldn't know now with the way you're griping. What would Hinata say if she saw that you'd given up the nindo she shared with you—"

"Hey!"

"What?" he asked, challenging Naruto to stand up and scream at him, to get some fight back into those sad blue eyes and remind him that there were still things worth fighting for and believing in.

"Just because she's gone doesn't mean you should give up. You can't do it? You don't know how to raise a kid? It's too hard? Too bad. Go cry about it somewhere else, dead last."

It was quiet after that, and Naruto's eyes were wide. He looked as shocked as Sasuke hoped he would be. His heart was beating faster than he felt it should but maybe he was only nervous; it was a bit of a gamble to treat Naruto so roughly when they just barely were back on speaking terms again. He might react so badly he would want to cut Sasuke out again, realize that he was better off without Sasuke yelling at him or giving him a hard time.

Sasuke already knew that if that happened again, if Naruto made the choice to distance them himself this time, he would leave. But it was worth the risk to say the things Naruto needed to hear. He had a kid relying on him now—Naruto couldn't afford to doubt himself.

"Sasuke," Naruto whispered, head towards the floor again. His back was curved and his shoulders hanging as if Sasuke could see the weight that was settled there.

"Thank you."

He looked up.

"Again," he added, gaze flickering back to the floor. "I'm relying on you too much."

"It's the least I can do, right? You saved me from myself once before."

Something crossed over Naruto's features. He glanced at Sasuke and away again, mumbling,

"That time…" he trialed off, and Sasuke's pulse quickened. What time was Naruto referring to? Could he mean to ask about that night?

"I—" he continued hesitantly, "I've always wondered what you really meant that time, when you—"

"WWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH" the cry came from the other room and was undoubtedly a shriek of pain from Nori. Both he and Naruto acted as fast as their shinobi training allowed them and found themselves in the room in seconds. Naruto rushed to his son's side without thinking and Sasuke surveyed the situation.

Nori had a scratch on his arm undeniably from cat claws and Sasuke was about to get rid of that black fleabag once and for all before he noticed that Muchi was on one side of the room hissing and batting at a white cat that Sasuke had never seen before.

"Shit," he cursed. Grabbing the white cat in a flash and holding tight to the scruff of it's neck, he quickly disposed of it outside, tossing it and watching as it landed upright on it's feet and hissed at him. He flashed his sharingan in its eyes and it scampered away. Hopefully it wouldn't return anytime soon. He would need to figure out how it had even gotten inside.

Upon returning to the living room he found Nori still sobbing, gasping in large gulps of air as Naruto tried to soon the scratch on his hand and calm his son with seemingly little result.

"Come on, Nori. You can stop crying it's okay the cat's gone. Come on, n—no, don't cry, it's not that bad, see? Nori, Nori, no, please stop crying. Stop crying—"

Naruto was panicking again, just like that. It was obvious he didn't want to see his son cry and nothing he said seemed to be reaching Nori. The cat's attack must have really surprised him for him to react so extremely. Sasuke felt like his heart was still beating from Nori's scream—he'd assumed the worst and panicked when he heard it and Nori wasn't even his child.

"I want momma, I want momma, I want momma," Nori gasped through his tears, yelling it right in Naruto's face.

"I know you do, Nori, but I—she's—Nori, please just stop crying, please—"

Sasuke felt something overtake him just like that and he sprung into action without even thinking about it. He went into the kitchen and wet a rag with warm water then returned to the living room and knelt to the floor, nudging Naruto to the side and ignoring the look of panicked surprise that crossed the blond's face.

He gently took Nori's injured hand in his—it was barely bleeding and couldn't have hurt very badly. It was probably the shock that had caused his reaction more than anything else. He pressed the warm clothe to Nori's hand as his choked sobs echoed in his ears.

"Nori," he said, voice even and soft. He wasn't sure where the tone of his voice even came from; he couldn't recall ever using it before but it felt like it came naturally all the same. Almost instantly Nori took a deep breath and his crying calmed to shuttered, heavy breathing.

He glanced up to find Nori staring at him with a tear-stained face and wide eyes. Sasuke could feel Naruto's eyes on him but he had to ignore it and focus on the child before him.

"There, it's not that bad," he murmured, lifting the rag so Nori could see the scratch.

"It hu—u—urt," the boy stammered, and hiccupped softly. Sasuke nodded and folded the rag over, using the clean side to gently wipe away the tears and snot that were covering the boys face. He tried to at least not look grossed out by the kid bodily fluids as he cleaned Nori's face carefully. Once he was finished he looked into Nori's eyes again, making sure to maintain that same even, steady tone of voice as before when he asked,

"What did you learn?"

Nori took a moment before replying with a deep frown,

"White cats are mean!"

Sasuke smiled faintly but shook his head. Naruto eyes pouring into him made him feel like he was on a stage, like he was performing, and yet it didn't bother him and didn't stop him from doing what his instincts were telling him. Instincts that came to him from a place that should have been long forgotten in the past…

"Oh, Sasuke! What happened?" Mikoto Uchiha knelt beside her youngest son and used the cloth in her pocket to stop the bleeding. She wrapped it around his injured fingers and held it up as Sasuke tried in vain to stifle his tears with repetitive sniffles. He refused to look in his mother's eyes but she knew what happened the moment she spotted the kunai lying on the floor beside him. She let out a small sigh.

"What did we learn?"

He stubbornly refused to answer until she asked once again, serene and gentle.

"What did we learn, Sasuke?"

"…don play with big brother's weapons…" He sniffed again and finally looked into his mother's kind face. "I—I jus wanted to try them! Brother said he would teach me how to use them but he's never here anymo!"

She smiled graciously, picking Sasuke up even though he thought he was too big to be picked up by his mom anymore, and carried him to get his wound fixed properly.

"Itachi will be home tonight and I'll tell him he should teach you how to use those kunai properly. But you won't try it by yourself again, right?"

"Yes, Momma."

"What did you learn?" he repeated.

Nori bit his lip and looked down.

"…Not all cats are nice like Muchi…"

Sasuke nodded.

"So you should…?"

"Be careful 'round cats cause they could bite me or scratch me."

"Mhmm. Do you want a bandaid for that?"

Nori nodded shyly—and that was when Sasuke noticed them.

He didn't know how he hadn't seen them when he was washing Nori's face but suddenly they were there: two sets of whisker marks, very faint, on each of Nori's cheeks. Sasuke glanced down at the scratch that had been on Nori's arm and his suspicion was confirmed; it already looked days old, just like Naruto's fresh wounds did.

Just pretend like you didn't notice, he told himself. They weren't there before and Naruto is sure to notice them on his own. He can ask that damn fox himself. It's not my problem. You didn't even notice they were there.

"You should tell him," Kurama had said. He thought about how Nori had looked when Sasuke found him at the Dorogakure hideout, how terrifyingly powerful and out of control he'd been. Had he been close to losing control when he was injured just then? Was he so dangerous that Naruto neededto know?

Nori was looking at him strangely and he shook himself, standing and walking towards the bathroom.

"One bandaid, coming up." Not that he needs it.

He retrieved the bandaid and placed it carefully on Nori's nearly unblemished arm. As he did he tried getting a closer look at the marks on Nori's face. They were different from Naruto's whisker marks—two lines on each side instead of three, and they were fainter, not as bold as Naruto's. Something made Sasuke think that they would only becoming darker and more prominent as time went on.

He'll notice them on his own. Leave it alone, Sasuke.

"Naruto," he said, turning towards Nori's father. Naruto was staring at him like he didn't know who he was; it was an unnerving expression for Sasuke to face.

"I have to tell you—"

"Hokage, sir."

It was a good thing so many years had passed since Sasuke had lived his life on the run as a wanted criminal. His instantaneous reactions to threats and attacks had dulled—had they not he would have already blasted a hole through Neji's chest at his sudden appearance. As it was, both he and Naruto had jumped the moment Neji appeared in the living room, turning and assuming slight fighting stances until they realized they weren't in any danger.

"I apologize for interrupting," he said, though Sasuke didn't think his tone very much matched the statement. He cast a lightning quick glance at the scene, Sasuke kneeling beside a bandaged Nori, and then turned his white gaze back to Naruto.

"The fifth Hokage is curious to know how the mission went. She's impatient as always."

Naruto seemed to come out of a daze, blinking at Neji and then rolling his eyes.

"Why is she always butting in? At least Kakashi lets me do my job without trying to give advice every three minutes. Did any of the other Hokage's have to deal with this?"

"None of the other Hokage's were as young as you," Neji reminded him, smiling softly. He turned his gaze to his almost-nephew who grinned wide and stood to walk over to him. Sasuke wondered whether Neji's sharp eyes would notice the new features of Nori's face.

"Uncle Neji!"

"Hello Aonori. What happened to your arm?"

"A bad cat scratch me! But Sasuke made it better."

Once again Neji's blank gaze flickered in his direction then away before Sasuke could get a real read on his expression.

"Did he now? That was nice of him, though he probably shouldn't have let a dangerous animal walk around his house if it was wild enough to scratch you in the first place."

Sasuke frowned. Nori started to launch into a long-winded explanation (it was hard to believe he barely spoke a word to Sasuke a day ago) of what really happened but Naruto cut him off.

"We should go report to the old hag and get it over with."

"Am I gonna come see Granny too?" Nori asked shyly. Naruto paused, considering it. He looked uncomfortable and Sasuke remembered his breakdown earlier, his lack of faith in his parenting skills.

"I think this might take some time, Nori. Do you want to stay with Uncle Neji until I'm done meeting with Tsunade?"

Nori glanced between his uncle and, to Sasuke's surprise, him. Then he looked down at the ground and pulled on the bottom of his sweater, mumbling whisper-soft,

"Can I stay here until after?"

Sasuke was surprised, though not enough to avoid noticing the definite scowl that fell to Neji's features when Nori spoke. Naruto seemed surprised too, looking almost shy himself as he made a questioning face in Sasuke's direction.

Sasuke simply nodded his agreement, and saw Naruto and Nori exhale together, somehow relieved that Sasuke would say yes. Sasuke was beginning to think something was wrong in the Uzumaki line—no one else tolerated, even liked, him as much as Naruto and now his son seemed to. It defied reason.

"Well, then," Naruto said, straightening and nodding to Neji. "I guess we'll go. Thanks for watching him, Sasuke. I'll be back to get him before dinner I think."

Naruto wasn't back until after dinner, as it happened.

He showed up at Sasuke's door like a walking sigh.

"Is everything alright?" Sasuke asked, concerned. It never seemed to be good when the Hokage looked tired. The last time he'd been as exhausted as he was now they had been going through the secret history of Konoha's conflicts between other villages. It had been broader and bloodier than they could have imagined and Naruto had to deal with it all. It was one of the few times Sasuke regretted the distance he made between Naruto and himself. The information seemed like the kind that was a burden best carried with help.

Naruto looked tired even when he smiled and shook his head.

"Just a lot of work to do. Sorry I'm late…"

"It's no problem. Nori had fried tofu and edamame for dinner."

Naruto made a whining sound from the back of his throat and slumped his shoulders in. "That sounds goooood."

"I can make some next week," Sasuke promised. A silence fell between them and Sasuke looked away. All day he'd been debating whether or not he should tell Naruto about the monsters in his son's head and he still hadn't conjured up the answer.

"Dad," Nori appeared behind Sasuke, raising his arms out so his father could wearily pick him and give him a quick hug before he set him back down on the ground and looked at him closely.

"Hey, what's that on your face?" he asked, and Sasuke tensed. But the next second the blond just grinned and pat Nori's head, standing up and shrugging lightly.

"Guess I never noticed them before. People are going to say you look even more like me now, huh, Aonori?"

The boy didn't seem to have any idea what his father was talking about but he was too little to bother worrying about it. Naruto seemed too tired to give it any further thought either—Sasuke couldn't help but be amazed at Naruto's idiocy. Amazed but not entirely surprised.

"Are you ready to go home? Is your backpack packed?"

Nori nodded his head twice and ran back inside to get the pack. Naruto heaved a deep sigh, and in the silence Sasuke almost just came out and told him.

"Your son has all nine beasts in his head."

But he didn't. Whether it was pity or denial or fear that held his tongue, Sasuke didn't know, but he kept quiet until Nori returned with his bag and father and son turned to go.

"See you soon, Sasuke! Thank you for everything!" Nori chimed, standing on his toes like it might make him louder.

Sasuke smiled softly and nodded.

"See you soon," Naruto mimicked his son, catching Sasuke's eyes and leaving him feeling heavy with a jumble of thoughts as he waved and croaked a dazed,

"Yeah."

He hated to admit how much it hurt to watch walk away from him.

It was getting colder out lately, especially in the evenings. Naruto was glad he'd packed Nori's scarf, though looking at it only reminded him of Hinata. His son's bag was slung over his shoulder and Nori's small hand was held in his as they left Sasuke's house and made their way back to theirs. Naruto had to pay attention to where they went or they would end up back at their old house, the one that smelled like her and felt like home. There was a reason they'd had to leave it.

"Hey Dad," Nori piped in his small voice. Naruto always thought everything about Nori was small; from the moment he'd laid eyes on the crying bundle in his wife's arms he felt like he had never seen anything to small and worthy of so much protection.

"Yeah?" he asked, glancing down at the top of Nori's blond head.

"Sasuke is cool and nice. I like him."

Naruto felt his hand tighten around his son's and his chest constrict.

"Me too," he answered. Sasuke really had been cool when he comforted Nori when he was crying. Naruto had only panicked but Sasuke knew just what to say. He really did know nothing about raising children…

"Why didn't we see him afore now?"

Naruto stopped walking and Nori paused just beside him.

He really didn't know anything about handling children on his own. Nori kept asking questions, he would keep asking questions like this and Naruto was an idiot. He didn't know how to answer them.

But something told him it was better to try and tell at least some of the truth.

He leaned down so he could look into his son's pale eyes and placed his hands on his son's small shoulders.

"Because I loved your mother very much," he answered. Nori looked confused and Naruto couldn't blame him. He took a deep breath. It was time to man up and be a father; he couldn't mess around anymore or Hinata would never forgive him.

"Nori, you—you know your mom is—" he took a shaky breath in, "she's gone, you know? She can't come back. I'm sorry—I'm sorr—I wish I could change it and make it okay but it's just—she's gone and I—"

"Daddy," Nori's tiny voice caught him and he opened the eyes he didn't know he'd shut. "Dad it's okay you don't have to cry."

Naruto sobbed as his son reached tiny hands up to wipe at the tears that had fallen down his cheeks.

Hearing Nori call him Daddy only made him sob harder. Nori barely ever called him Daddy. It made him think about her…

He'd come home late one evening and he was stressed and tired. Sasuke had been sent on a mission that day and he was always stressed when he sent Sasuke away on missions, anxious that this time maybe he just wouldn't come back. He had expected his wife and child to already be asleep when he arrived but when he opened the door he heard their laughter.

"Naruto, is that you?" she'd called out to him. "Are you home?"

"I'm home," he smiled at her as she turned the corner and raced over to him, surprising him by pulling on his sleeve to lead him back into the kitchen where Nori was seated in his highchair waiting for them.

"What's going on?" he'd asked, looking between his wife and their infant son.

"Dada!" Nori squealed and Naruto's eyes widened. Hinata giggled behind her hand.

"It's his first word!" she cheered. "He's been saying it all day. We were waiting for you to come home to show you, weren't we, Nori?"

"Dada!" he repeated, and Naruto's face split into an uncontained grin. Hinata slipped her hand into his as Nori kept repeating "dada" over and over and Naruto tried not to feel too overwhelmed with love. He was so grateful to Hinata because she had given him more love than he ever thought he would have. He finally had a family and he loved them. He loved them more than he could bear.

And he loved her. He loved her. He loved her. He would have kept loving her forever he knew it but she was gone and all he really had to remember her by was their beautiful, gentle son who called him Daddy and wiped the tears from his eyes.

"Daddy, don't cry. It's okay. Momma said it'll be okay. She said tank you."

Naruto couldn't breath but he looked into his son's eyes, full of strength and honesty and he listened.

"I know Momma is gone, Daddy. But she said—she said it'll be okay. That's what she said. And Momma said to tell Daddy tank you. That's what she said."

"She said," the words could barely come out of his mouth, "thank you?"

Nori nodded.

"She said tell Daddy tank you for me."

Naruto thought he'd cried himself dry but it turned out there were still more inside him. He wrapped his arms around Nori, pulling him in close and tight and sobbed into his son's shoulder. It didn't take long for Nori to start crying too and for his tiny hands to hold tight to the fabric of Naruto's shirt.

They stayed that way for probably longer than they should have, holding each other and sobbing in the cold for the woman they lost. Finally Naruto lifted Nori into his arms—the boy was exhausted—and carried him the rest of the way back to their home.

As he was tucking Nori into bed he couldn't help but stare at the beautiful child they had made together and be grateful to her. He would always be grateful to her and a part of him would always love her.

"Thank you, Hinata. For everything."

He wanted to go straight into his bedroom and fall asleep but he couldn't leave Nori's backpack lying on the floor of his bedroom or it would surely never be unpacked. He opened it carefully, surprised to find the first thing he pulled out was a plush of a cat he'd never seen before. He stared at it for a moment before setting it gently beside Nori on his bed.

He carefully took all of the clothes from Nori's bag and put them in the laundry pile, then made sure to put his toothbrush back in the bathroom and reminded himself with a nod in the direction of Hinata's shrine to make Nori brush extra next morning because he fell asleep before he did it tonight. He at least had to try to be enough of a parent, even if he felt like it was impossible.

Naruto was about to toss the pack to the back of the closet when he noticed that there was something still at the bottom of the bag. He reached in and carefully pulled out a black bento box. It had a note taped to the top that read:

Learn to cook.

It wasn't signed, but the bluntness of the statement was signature enough.

He opened it and inside was a neat little meal of rice, friend tofu and shelled edamame peas.

Maybe it was just because the day had been so long and he'd made so many mistakes, or maybe it was because he'd already cried like a little kid, but the sight of it made him want to cry all over again.

He ate the meal alone at the table and when he was finished he took the note from the lid and carefully stuck it to the front of the fridge. Then he headed off to sleep, knowing that, as usual, his dreams were bound to be about Sasuke Uchiha.