A/N: 02/11/2020
Hey hey hey! ^^ Welcome to the second chapter!
Some tiny notes before you start reading:
1. Possumel: Possuvich for my possubish (it'll make more sense after reading the chapter, dear :v)
2. As I'm sure you'll notice in this chapter – the seasons I use as chapter titles are not always to be taken literally :p
(The titles are spelled in Flemish/Dutch, btw, as that is my mother tongue)
3. If you want to listen to the songs that inspire my chapters; you can click the title/artist above the lyrics that I put at the start of each chapter! :)
I often use the lyrics of these songs both literally and in vaguer ways, in my writing
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Pentatonix - Coldest Winter
"Goodbye my friend,
I won't ever love again.
Memories made in the coldest winter…"
Winter.
"Your dad was freaking me out, earlier."
Semi nearly jumps out of his skin as Kenjirou slips through the curtains of the alcove where he'd been hiding. He had been so invested in his lute playing that he'd been deaf to anyone approaching his hide-out.
Shirabu doesn't seem to care much about Semi's surprise as he slumps down the wall opposite Eita, leaning back against one of the large cushions they'd stashed there ages ago. He's already wearing one of his thicker woolen capes, despite the fact that winter has barely set foot in their lands. "He always looks like he can stare right through my soul."
"Which dad?" Semi asks absentmindedly. He looks up to find Kenjirou staring at him with a deadpan expression. "What?" he says defensively. "You know just as well as I do that they both have a death stare when they want to. I'd rather be faced with papa when I've done something wrong, than be confronted with-"
"Yeah, yeah, that's fair," Shirabu concedes, pulling the book he'd brought with him onto his lap.
"How did you know where to find me anyway?"
"Well it's not like you made it quite hard," Shirabu says with the usual careless disinterest he knows will get under Semi's skin. "You always come here to sulk. And people can hear your music all the way down the corridor. So there's that too."
Eita sighs. They both know that an indirect approach is the best way to get Semi to confess his worries, whenever he's feeling particularly troubled. And even though he knows that is what Kenjirou is doing when he flips open his book and ignores Semi for the next couple of minutes, Eita still is unable to stop himself from blurting out the truth in what has to be a record time, even for them.
"Can you please distract me?"
"From…?"
Shirabu doesn't raise his eyes from the faun drawing he was inspecting, but they've stopped moving as he lets the word hang in the air and waits for a reply.
"I can't wait until you turn 20 next year, and they'll bother you with all this crap."
"Well, luckily for me, the organization for the Rose festival depends solely on the Crown's support," Shirabu says loftily as he finally looks up from his book. "Is it that bad?"
Semi shrugs. It's true that the preparations for the Rose festival took up even more work than usual this year. Everyone wants to make it extra grand to celebrate the Kings' 20th anniversary, as well as the coming year being the Name Year of their crown prince.
"It's stressing me out."
"At least you're not participating in the Games this year too," Kenjirou says in a rare offer of comfort. "So we'll all just laugh at your brother when he goes down instead."
It's an obvious joke. Goshiki had been jumping to be allowed to take Semi's place in the Games, and he's one of the court favourites to win. King Wakatoshi had been the first in 3 generations to win the championship, and his youngest son can't wait to repeat that feat.
It's tradition for at least one member of each noble house to take place in the Games, and even though Semi liked participating the last couple of years, he's happy that his brother took on the job this year instead. What originated as a chance for commoners to take down their warden's ego a couple of notches over a day of good fun and sportsmanship, has turned slowly into the feast they hold today – a long festival that is celebrated all around the country.
"Do you think you can beat him?" Eita ponders aloud, images of his brother's training flitting through his mind.
"I won't have to," Shirabu grins, "I'm changing categories this year. I'm supposed to join the staff duels."
Their conversation continues and Shirabu does as he is asked; distracting Semi from his most pressing worries as the prince listens to stories about Taichi's latest blunders while providing some music as a means to keep his hands busy.
"-and Shigeru wrote that we can go right away when the festival is over, if I still wanted to" Shirabu smiles, his hands waving through the air as he talks. "His family is coming over to join in spectating the festival. I'm not 100% sure if I'll take him up on the offer yet, because 5 years is a long time to be away from home, even if it's great for my caree-"
"Go?" Semi interrupts distractedly as he retries a specific melody he keeps failing halfway, "go where?"
"What do you mean, 'go where?'" Kenjirou questions with clear exasperation. "I've been telling you about this for months? He's offered me hospitality near Seijoh several times, now that his family has officially moved. They provide the best medical education on the continent! Studying there would be-"
"What?"
The stress that had been melting away slowly crashes back into Eita with the speed and strength of a draft horse as he starts to comprehend exactly what his friend is saying.
"Are you serious about this? I thought you were joking, before?"
Shirabu had indeed mentioned this friend several times over the last couple of months. They'd met 5 years ago, when Duke Shirabu had taken his sons with him on a foreign business trip, but Semi has never met the guy in question before. He knows the Duke is friends with the head of one of Aoba Johsai's main noble houses, one of those he always forgets the name of, but he hadn't expected-
"But isn't that on the other side of Aoba's territory?"
Shirabu is frowning at him now, clearly confused by Semi's sudden irritation. He leans further back against his pillow while looking thoroughly unimpressed with Eita's behaviour. "What of it? It's just 5 years, and I could come home to visit whenever I wish? It's not like I'd be gone forever?"
Semi ignores the clear warning sign in Kenjirou's cool tone, angry at the logical arguments when he just wants Shirabu to tell him he's right, and that Kenjirou doesn't need to go to a foreign country to follow an education Shiratorizawa's healers can offer just fine. He knows Shirabu is right when he says he'd return eventually. And it's not like they wouldn't be able to write to each other, but this would all have been far easier if it happened a couple of years ago, before Semi received more of the duties he'd eventually have to take over when his parent's stop ruling the country and decide to simply enjoy their life together. As crown prince, he can't just decide to randomly take trips across the continent whenever he wants to, not even if it's to visit a friend he hasn't seen in… He forcefully redirects his mind to other thoughts, pissed off at even the slightest option of having to miss Shirabu's company during all those years to come. No matter what he says, Kenjirou would still have to find the time to travel back home, and considering how much of a workaholic his best friend has become…
He plucks at the strings of his lute, going over the tune he'd been practicing from the start and singing along with it in an attempt to clear himself of the unpleasant feeling now curled up in his chest. This specific song, he picked up from a traveling bard who visited the palace about a month ago. Shirabu purses his lips when he starts to recognise the notes, but he doesn't protest. He's never been much of a fan of melancholy or serenades alike.
"The halls have long gone cold, my love
without you by my side I'm alone.
So please tell me now, my dove,
who's grown warmer since you've gone?"
"Don't pull such a long face, Semisemi! Your face will get stuck like that if you do it too long, you know?"
King Satori laughs at whatever expression he sees on his son's face after that comment. They are waiting outside the room where Semi will receive the horror he's been dreading for the last month. People call the Golden Rose a blessing, but they don't know what they're talking about. They don't have to ridicule themselves with dumb courting gifts and invoke court gossip.
"Why does it trouble you so?" His father asks lightly, and Eita sighs. He's never been very good at keeping secrets from his parents. But then again, most other people aren't good at deceiving the Kings either.
"I'm not interested. Courting with the Gold Rose is dumb and ancient. It serves no purpose."
Satori laughs and turns to Eita – pretending to refasten the clasp of his cloak so he can stand face to face with his rebellious son. Even as he's nearing 20 years of his existence, Eita still stands about 10 centimetres shorter than his father.
"Now now, Semisemi," Satori says gleefully, "the presenting of the Rose is a high honour to whoever may receive it! It's tradition for you to gift it to someone in the week before the festival. There are a lot of worthy candidates participating in the Games – they all want to know who will earn your favour."
"Ah, don't whine," he continues as Semi grimaces. "It's not that big of a deal anymore these days. It's true that the royal family once used it to court people, and in essence, it could still be used that way, but that's not how it's perceived anymore. Not unless you want it to."
"They're forced to take the title," Eita grumbles.
"Yes, that they are," Satori sighs. He sweeps back some of the strands that are desperately trying to escape his braids – the red stands out clear against the white fur of their cloaks. "They are bound to accept, by law. But everyone who enters the tournament knows this, and it's only for a couple of years, dear. They'll be released from participating in royal duties the moment your brother can gift the Rose to another. It's not like you two will be forced to marry. You could use it to gain new friendships, or strike new alliances instead of chasing love?"
"Though I wouldn't recommend that last one," he adds in afterthought, "it didn't work out for your father all too well."
The comment surprises Eita so much that he stops pouting, and he stares up at his father in confusion. "What do you mean? You were the last Golden Rose, right?"
"I was not," Satori says calmly, shushing his son with a smile when Eita opens his mouth to argue. "There was no need to do so. Your father knew he held my heart long before the gifting ceremony, so he chose to form a foreign alliance instead, in an effort to forge stronger connections with the noble houses of our neighbouring countries. It's also why he keeps inviting foreign nobility to come and enjoy the festival, despite this being a Shiratorizawa focussed celebration. And it did work, though Tooru bitches about it 'til this day. So only pick that option if you'll be able to deal with protentional complaints."
"Does the foreign minister know you talk about a fellow King consort this way?" Semi grins in a way much like his father.
"What he doesn't know won't hurt him," Satori tuts, plucking an imaginary dust particle from Eita's deep purple suit. The light catches on the golden tiara covering his forehead as Satori bends down a little, his hands resting on Semi's shoulders as he says sternly: "now let's go, alright? Your brother has been dying to gift the Red Rose, and he's been forced to wait until you receive yours – so let's relieve him from his suffering, shall we?"
The guards open the doors at a quick hand gesture, and Semi spots Shirabu and Taichi – both leaning over the balustrade where they are watching the King's entrance. Tendou officially starts the gifting ceremony the moment he steps through the door to join his husband and youngest son at the altar, making way for Semi to enter.
Eita swallows, breathing in deeply before following his father inside – his head held high as he steps out of the shadows and into the limelight.
That night, he dreams of vicious thorns carving into this skin as he tries to escape the plants holding him prisoner. He wakes up panting, struggling against his sheets, which are wrapped around him like a tight cocoon of fabric. It takes hours before he falls back asleep.
The next morning, however, Eita doesn't recall the nightmare at all.
"You know we could easily hold a conversation in front of the fireplace instead of outside, right?"
Semi chuckles at Kenjirou's grumbling. "Come on? We only visit the Possuvich region for about two weeks per year? You should try to enjoy your surroundings more!"
"You try and enjoy nature when your ass is freezing off!" Shirabu bickers, his teeth chattering as he pulls his hat lower over his ears.
"You know just as well as I do that we'll be used to it in a couple of days. It's no reason to forsake our tradition!"
Shirabu huffs but doesn't argue the matter further as they set off on their walk, leaving the idyllic castle behind to bask in the sunset.
"… I think we'll have to forget about the tradition this year," Kenjirou mutters dejectedly when they finally pass by the bushes obscuring the view. Semi stops dead in his tracks as he stares out across the lake. They already set up most of the stands next to the waterline – ready for the citizens who travelled East to watch the Games. Wooden platforms rise up high towards the skies, offering a perfect viewpoint no matter where you're seated, so everyone can enjoy the duels and other competitions to the fullest. But for the people who come late at night, the highest stands serve another purpose as well; making sure that nothing obscures the view of the lake stretching out behind you as it mirrors the sky and moon above.
Eita groans. "The fuck did that mist come from?"
"I don't think we'll do much stargazing tonight" comes the laconic answer. "Unless you intend to battle the weather into submission?"
"I should!" Semi seethes, "it's not like it could fuck things up much more at this point. We won't see shit like this, even if we do climb up there."
Determined to prove him wrong, the skies choose that exact moment to ruin the mood even further – small droplets pelting their faces as it starts to drizzle.
They hurry towards one of the wooden sheds where the festival's participants relax as they wait for their turn in the Games. They step underneath the overhang just in time, the drizzle transitioning into a real downpour as they dash through the doorway. Semi places his lamp on the floor, but Shirabu puts his on one of the side tables, staring up at the ceiling with obvious discontent as the sound of droplets hitting wood rises around them.
This is not at all the mood Semi was going for when he invited Shirabu on their annual stargazing expedition, but it's not as if he can do much to change it at the moment. The evening can still be saved – it'll turn into a more positive experience for sure, if only Kenjirou… He looks at his friend, who is still scowling up at the ceiling. Shirabu's maroon suit looks almost purple in the darkness. He'd look good in the Shiratorizawa house colours too.
"What are you staring at me for?" Kenjirou asks suddenly, startling Eita out of his contemplations about Shirabu's fashion choices.
"You don't seem to wear your earring much?" He blurts out, cringing at himself right after.
'Well, it's too late now, so…'
Shirabu frowns in confusion. "My earring?"
"Yeah, the golden fan thing, from your father? Like the one your brother wears? You should, actually. It matches your eyes."
"My eyes are brown?" Shirabu states drily, though the way he's eyeing Semi reveals that he's getting worried about the prince's mental health.
"More along the lines of rose gold, I'd say."
"Are you-? Why are we discussing my jewelry? Or my eye colour, for that matter?"
"Oh, come on? What's with that reaction? You love it when people say sappy stuff like that to you."
"I do no such thing" Kenjirou sputters indignantly.
Eita ignores him. "-And as for your question; I just wanted to talk, that's all."
"About the colour of my eyes?" Shirabu repeats bemusedly. "What does it matter what-?" He cuts himself off, and Semi can almost feel the way Shirabu's gaze flits from Eita's face to his hands, which he keeps buried in his pockets, connecting the dots. He has always been too perceptive for his own good.
Kenjirou starts to laugh softly, but it sounds different from usual – more hollow, somehow. "Is that why you dragged me here?" He asks, his tone sharp. "Because you've finally settled on someone and you're too much of a coward to gift them the rose, so you're asking me to help you?"
The laughter stops abruptly when Semi steps forward, taking the thin package he was holding onto out of his pocket and placing it next to Shirabu's lamp on the table, so the inscription is legible in the flickering light of the candle.
Kenjirou pales as the realization of Semi's intentions starts to sink in. "Don't do this…" He begs shakily. "Don't do this to me…" He has started shaking again, but it doesn't appear to be from the cold this time as he meets Eita's eyes, who is looking back at him silently. Whatever he finds in Semi's gaze offers him no comfort, and eventually he turns to take in the rectangular shape next to him.
Semi waits with bated breath as Kenjirou stares down at the thing Shiratorizawa's crown prince presented him with. His posture is rigid as he takes in the ornate box – its dark coloured wood already labeled with loopy bronze lettering.
'Lord Shirabu Kenjirou – 67th Golden Rose of Shiratorizawa'
Neither of them feels any need to open the box and check its contents, fully aware of the medallion and the ornate rose that rest inside.
"Did you plan this all along?"
If Shirabu's laughter had sounded hollow, it is nothing compared to how empty his voice is now. "Was this the plan? How long have you known? Did you care to consider if it was wrong for even a second?"
"Or-," he continues, his voice rising in volume at Semi's lack of response, "are you simply doing this to stop me from achieving my dreams?"
It's this accusation that snaps Eita's patience in half. "It wasn't easy for me either!" he snarls. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to decide something like this?"
"You could have chosen anyone!" Kenjirou bellows. Rage burns bright in every syllable. "You knew I wouldn't be able to refuse! And does this even mean anything? Or is this just a petty attempt to keep me here?"
Semi stays quiet. Not because he's confused about what Shirabu is asking, but because he's unsure about the answer. Eita knows he shouldn't let his pride stand in the way of comforting a friend, he is heavily affecting Shirabu's future with this decision after all – but admitting that to himself would force him to face a level of shame he's unwilling to deal with right now. So he clings to the thought that a crown prince shouldn't show their vulnerability instead – forgetting for a moment that Kenjirou can read him like no other, whether Semi wants him to or not.
To his regret, it turns out that Kenjirou hasn't forgotten.
"You're so easy to read. 's a shame it's boring me."
Eita lets the words wash over him, unable to do anything as they freeze him into place. He can only watch as Kenjirou turns and pockets the box before clasping the handle of his lantern and striding out into the rain, taking the rose with him. He's completely drenched before he has taken more than 3 steps, but Shirabu still refuses to look back as he storms off.
Semi remains frozen into place long after he lost sight of Kenjirou's distant lamplight. Eventually, he returns after the rain has stopped – his eyes focused on the muddy path the entire walk back.
4 days later, the Games commence. Neither Semi nor Shirabu try to talk to each other as Kenjirou is pronounced this generation's Golden Rose in front of a cheering audience.
Despite Shirabu's clear skill, he still somehow loses his staff duel in the third round. Eita doesn't see him for the remainder of the festival. And when the festivities have ended, he realizes he won't see Kenjirou anymore at all.
Weeks later, it still hurts.
Eita figures he should have known Kenjirou would find a way out. But even if he had, he wouldn't have expected everything to go down the way it did. Despite the fact that the current Golden Rose has the obligation to be present at all the national ceremonies the roses' gifter has to attend – there is no mention in the law that forbids the person themselves from leaving the country in between those ceremonies, like Semi expected it to. Added to that was the loophole that the written law specifically demanded someone 'of the correct house and surname to fulfill to position', combined with 'the correct age of the giftee' – which meant that Shirabu had set sail for Aoba Johsai right as the Games had ended, and Eita now sees a lot more of Kenjirou's twin than he bargained for.
Not that Taichi is any more pleased with the current arrangement. He has been gifted a special brooch to identify him as the physical replacement of the Golden Rose, in his brother's absence, and people give him a lot more attention because of it, which he directly blames Eita for.
Maybe Semi would have been able to hold on to Kenjirou if they had been a couple – but seeing as their relationship is by official terminology defined as a friendship, there was no way for him to call Kenjirou back to Shiratorizawa if Shirabu did not choose to do so of his own volition.
So while Kenjirou is off doing God-knows-what at Seijoh castle with his foreign friend, Semi sits abandoned at home, stuck which Taichi – who, aside from being so introverted that Semi spends most of his days without a friend nearby, is very quickly getting fed up with Eita's ever-growing asshole attitude.
Semi is very much aware of his own worsening behaviour, but he remains unable to change it. He has never before been so aware of how important Kenjirou's presence is in his life. He hasn't heard anything from Shirabu for a month now, which is far longer than he can remember happening since both of them met, 15 years ago.
He buries the pain and carries on, carefully ignoring the increasingly worried glances his parents throw each other over dinner.
Eita's sleep declines with every week in Kenjirou's absence. He misses his friend more strongly than he has ever felt anything before, and it consumes him in a way that seems to drag him down deeper with each day that goes by.
They are separated by less than one day of travel by boat - but with the lack of contact, Shirabu could just as well be a thousand miles away.
Tsutomu continuously tries to cheer Eita up as much as he can, but even he seems unable to reach his brother on the worst days.
Semi suspects the servants have started to talk. He finds that he doesn't care.
He's done with living in this new routine – in this world devoid of colour.
When a servant enters the room where Eita is listlessly watching his parents play chess, only to mention that 'His Grace, Duke Shirabu has arrived with a personal invitation for His Majesty and the rest of the royal family', the words don't really register at once. His dad explains most of it in his low voice, a couple of days later, and Semi feels a flicker of hope for the first time in 5 months. He'll get to see Shirabu in less than one week's time.
He'll make it up to him, and they'll be just like before.
With that dream in mind, his insomnia gets even worse, but Semi doesn't mind. Relief has never been so close.
When he eventually falls ill, two days later, the head healer tells his parents that he has collapsed due to stress, and that he'll have to stay behind to rest, where she can watch over him as he regains his strength. Eita tries to protest – tries to insist he goes with them, but one of the younger healers senses his panic and lets him smell some herbs to calm him down. She shushes at him sweetly as he feels his awareness drift away and falls into a fitful sleep.
By the next time he wakes, his family has left, along with Taichi and the rest of the Shirabu family. A friendly healer assures him that they'll return in about 6 days, and that Semi will be well taken care of by him and the other healers. He calls for backup when Eita starts to shake, and they end up letting him smell the calming herbs again. The world fades.
For the next couple of days, Eita fades in and out of consciousness. He's delirious throughout most of the time he's awake. There's an emergency batch of calming herbs placed onto a stool next to his bed.
Two days after his family has left, he asks a healer where Kenji is, but they just look at him confusedly, unable to answer before Eita falls back asleep. He has forgotten about it by the next time he wakes.
It takes two and a half days for Semi to break through his fever. When he finally wakes up from his slumber and can think clearly for the first time in days, he's happy to discover that there's only one healer present.
He sends her away for a while, but not before she promises she'll come back with some soup when the hour is up. Eita nods at her gratefully, happy to be by himself for a while as he slowly pushes himself upright.
The clock on the mantlepiece alerts him to the fact that it's 4 am. In the serenity of his own room, surrounded by comfort, Eita's thoughts once again flit to Kenjirou. He tries not to concentrate too much on the fact that he might just have blown the best chance he had at reconciliation, unwilling to let himself fall back into despair. He doesn't know how long he sits there, quietly staring across the room before he realizes he is looking at his writing desk.
When the healer comes back, she finds Semi seated behind his desk with one of the many blankets draped across his lap, surrounded by crumpled pieces of paper and with an ink smear on his cheek where he'd supported his head with his writing hand earlier.
She places the soup on the edge of his desk before moving to sit in a corner of the room, observing Eita silently as he works, only admonishing him now and then when he fails to drink enough water or forgets to take a break.
Despite being very aware that he has made some mistakes of his own, Eita can't stop the anger from flowing out of his pen. He feels more and more relieved with every letter that he writes; the sadness fading as he offers up his secrets to the scattered pages.
When his family returns, two days later, he is able to meet them with a smile. The letters pile up on the mantlepiece over time. He's not ready to send them yet. Not until he has gotten most of the bad feelings out and can start addressing Shirabu about the things that matter.
Life continues like this for the next two months. With every letter that gets added to the pile, Semi struggles more with deciding when to send them. There are two piles now – both of them leaning forward rather precariously, and just letting them sit there won't change anything. He catches one of the delivery boys when he goes down for lunch and asks him to visit Eita's room to collect the letters in two hours' time.
He laughs more during that lunch than he has in months, finally at peace with what's about to happen. It's all up to Shirabu from this point forward.
When Semi returns to his room, one and a half hours later, he finds a sobbing chambermaid who's anxiously kneeling next to the fire. She starts to cry even harder when she spots Eita, and he has to reassure her she'll be fine before she can breathe evenly enough to tell him what happened.
Eita's heart drops into his stomach when he spots what she is kneeling in front of. As it turns out, the maid in question accidentally dropped his letters into the fire while cleaning, and even though she was able to pull some of them out, most of them have gone lost to the fire.
'Maybe it's for the best', he thinks, as he stares at the still smoking edges of some paper shreds half covered by her soot-stained dress.
The maid is still obviously distraught, so he permits her to take the rest of the day off – ordering her to inform her superiors that these were his direct commands before sending her away. He calls out to her one last time for good measure as he watches her shuffle away down the corridor – repeating that he isn't angry with her at all about the accident. She sends him a watery smile before turning the corner and disappearing from sight.
With the door closed behind him, Semi finally falls to his knees and reaches for the few scraps of paper she was able to save – reading through some of the lines that remained legible.
'-maybe I shouldn't say that I hate you outright, 'cause you are not the only one at fault here, but I do hate you for leaving me behind. I thought we promis-'
'Happy birthday, by the way.'
'-I know you're angry, but I don't really know what to say to make it better. I think I'll try to forget about you for now.'
'-onestly I miss you. A Lot. Can't we just-'
'-keeps getting worse every day. Maybe I'll just sneak onto one of the ships harboured near the-'
'-till think erasing you from my mind for a while might be for the best. It will at least hurt less than resenting-'
'-boring since you left. Also, your brother might kind of hate me now. Do you think he'll forgive me if I bring him a giant chocolate cake? Father said that would help for sure, but I'm not quite-'
'-that I would erase you, but you know, it turns out I'm actually very bad at letting you go. I don't know if-'
'-just be friends again? What do you need to-'
'-and it's not like you've written me anything either. So honestly, you shouldn't be mad at me for-'
'There hasn't been a day that I have forgotten about you. I don't know how long-'
'Kenji. Please come home. – Eita'
Semi smiles sadly as he gathers up the small stack of scraps and throws it in the fire with the others. He watches as the paper burns to ashes, and hopes that this time the ink will take his loneliness with it as it burns away. He sits there and stares at the burning letters until someone knocks at the door. Semi tries to hold back his curses as his knees crack painfully when he stands up after kneeling on the stone floor for half an hour. It turns out to be the delivery boy Eita had asked to come around earlier that day. He sends him back downstairs with an apology, closing the door when the boy runs off.
Eita throws a last sad smile at the fireplace as he walks by – the only thing left of his writing now mere memories of hours of hard work. He shakes his head, takes place behind his desk, and starts over.
Semi ends up writing the same letter several times over – each time displeased with the wording he uses. He eventually decides to continue his efforts the next day, throwing the unfinished letter into the fire, like the others before.
That night, Eita dreams about his childhood. He dreams about the summer day when Kenjirou and he pretended to get married in the garden, much like the time they walked in on Tsutomu and the servant girl. He wakes before he's able to relive the chaste kiss they gave each other at the end of the 'ceremony', back when they were still innocently convinced of its legitimacy in bonding them by law.
'Real married people kiss on the mouth like that to get married, Eita-kun, my mama told me!'.
His room seems colder than ever.
Satori walks in a couple of hours later, carrying coffee and a slice of cake for his son.
Eita swiftly signs his name at the bottom of his letter, using wax to seal the message before his father can come too close and catch some of his writing.
'-I miss you.'
'You have no idea how cruel time is; how slow it ticks away is when all you have from your best friend is a painting and it doesn't even hang in your personal-'
'-when I say that, I only miss you more.'
'I think I'm driving Goshiki mad. Your brother too. He told me he likes vanilla more than chocolate, so I've changed my original plan to-'
'Do you have any idea when we'll meet again? I wanted to apologize when my parents came over at the end of May. I know that's a very long time ago by now, but I didn't think I'd be able to write down everything exactly the way I wanted to-'
"Are you alright, Semisemi?"
Eita blinks tiredly as he waves the sealed letter back and forth in an effort to dry the wax more quickly before putting it aside.
"We missed you at breakfast?" Tendou tries again, his eyes fixed on Semi's disheveled state.
"I'm sorry, papa. I just wanted to finish something, but it didn't work out quite the way it was supposed to… You know, I'm sorry. I'll be down in time tomorrow. I can make another attempt at this later. He stands up and starts collecting his trial letters from that morning, so he can discard them in the fireplace – but his father pushes him back down with surprising strength as he plucks the letters from Eita's hands.
"Food. First."
"I'll take care of that for you, dear," he promises, keeping an eye on Eita as he advances on the fireplace. "Eat!" He repeats imploringly, and Eita does. This pleases his father enough that he turns away to destroy Semi's letters. They watch them burn together when Satori steps back from the fire, where he waits patiently until Semi is done eating.
When he walks back to the writing desk to collect Semi's plate and cup, Eita stares up at him tiredly. His body seems pleased that he finally ate, as he'd been too focused on his writing to take note of his growing hunger. Alas, eating has tired him out even more.
He is so exhausted that the sight of his father, ruffling through Eita's hair as he smiles down at him lovingly, makes him tear up. Before he can say or do anything about it, Tendou has pulled him upright and into his arms, holding him securely against his chest as silent tears start to roll down Eita's cheeks. He doesn't even know why he's crying, at this point, but he takes full advantage of the hug. He breathes in deeply – taking in the smell of freshly washed clothes, tinged with a hint of the perfume Goshiki and Semi had gifted their father for his birthday last year.
"What's wrong, love? Your dad and I are worried about you, you know? As is 'Tomu. You know you can talk to us, right?"
Eita nods, burying his face even deeper into his father's mantle, the soft fabric soothing against his eyelids. "It's been cold." He says with a muffled voice, ignoring the fact that they're at the end drags of summer. "I'll be better when the weather clears up a bit more."
"Oh my boy," Satori breathes, "even the coldest of winters can't keep the spring from melting the snow away."
A/N: :)
Sooooo… Don't hate me, okay :v my tags say it all!
Notes:
1. My poor boys, struck down by their own idiocy :(
2. I'm contractually obligated to make Semi sing in every fic I write about him (I'm lucky I wrote the karaoke scene in my first fic, I guess, heheheh)
3. Goshiki gifts a red rose instead of the gold one because he's the youngest prince :)
So before Ushiten got married, Oikawa was the official Golden Rose and had to attend all festivities with the couple. He (officially) couldn't be forced to do that, because he's no STZ citizen, but that would've been a serious slight towards the royal family, so he came over from Aoba Johsai every time. After Ushiten married, there was simply no more 'Golden Rose' up until Semi became of age. The second a new Golden Rose is into play, the younger members of the royal family can choose to gift red roses, or they can decline. A red rose is only allowed to be gifted /after/ the Golden Rose is officially into play
4. About the Golden fan earrings; Shirabu's fan is spread open, whereas Taichi's looks like it's mostly 'closed', if that makes any sense
5. I Don't know if people noticed or if they care – but for the few that /are/ interested: I intentionally made semi stare down at the path during his trip back from the lake, instead of holding his head up high. Honor is really important to Eita, so he wants to look up at all times, if possible
6. Three times hooray for affectionate papa Tendou! I just love Satori so much, I swear...
7. For the art that inspired Semi's lute playing, click here + click here for the faun inspiration in Shira's book ^^
Please tell me what you thought of this chapter in the comments! :D I read and love every single one I get!