A corset. It seemed so silly that this was to be his last resort, after all, it was only a temporary fix, for not even the most restrictive of clothing would be able to hide his sins. History had told of the horrors of wearing such a contraption during the most vulnerable points in their lives, but if women, even today still did the same, then that served as some reassurance. At least that is the rationale Thomas fed himself before strapping himself down.
It took his breath away at first, but he relaxed into the stranglehold. He'd known that the lacing was too tight but assumed that his body would become accustomed to the tension and it'd become easier to tighten as the next few months passed.
Livery as dinner approached and became astonished by the results. His waistcoat had fit him completely – not the old tatty one that he'd found a few days ago that was even still, miles too big. It'd been a gradual journey at first, but over the last few weeks, his mid-section had ballooned. It's all been far from graceful with shocking bodily changes happening scarily frequently. He'd gotten away with the other changes because he still looked unscathed.
Thomas could actually count himself quite fortunate. He'd had very little morning sickness and his cramps went away quite easily with a hot water bottle and commonly impacted him only whilst in bed. Otherwise, he'd developed a few various aversions, smoking being his greatest grievance. Quitting had high priority once cigarettes made him lightheaded and nauseous. The aversion had since gotten better once he passed the queasy phase. Although, he still couldn't be around the smoke. Breaking the habit had been entirely more sickening than all of his sickness put together.
Thomas managed for a week, close to two using the corset. Its side effects meant permanent heartburn and breathlessness. He also became frequently lightheaded after anything strenuous. Today would be just like the others before it, he'd make sure that the table was set for breakfast, have his own, serve breakfast and carry out his chores before getting ready for dinner service. As the morning progressed, he couldn't help but notice his symptoms being exaggerated, he made a promise to fix the tightness before dinner. For now, he was far too busy.
The day passed by at record speed. Unexpected visitors arrived at Downton; Sir Lemmington and his wife, Thomas was assigned to his charge which meant that he had a whole herd of responsibilities to add to the ones he already had. Including; unpacking suitcases, preparing the dinner attire, assisting with the dressing and subsequent undressing. He'd have to iron what required it and eventually pack everything away again. Whilst he may look physically fit, he was reaching a time where he had no energy or strength for the laborious chores.
After a long day, the gong rang to signal the time for dinner dress. Thomas hurried up the staircase working up something of a sweat. He cursed almost audibly as he suddenly remembered that he'd just finished polishing a pair of shoes that ought to be brought up. He took the stairs down a little slower, he'd be no use to anybody with a broken ankle, and these creaky floorboards were dangerous at the best of times. A fall would definitely result in the loss of his child – although he still wasn't entirely convinced whether that was a negative matter.
Shoes underarm, he doubled back up and again up the staircase and across the gallery. He had just enough time to bring the shirt and jacket out of the wardrobe and hang the trousers over the dresser chair. He put on a smile as the door handle turned, "Good evening Sir."
"Barrow, right?"
"That's right, sir. Thomas if you prefer."
"Thomas, could you pick me out a pair of cufflinks?" He must have turned around too fast because as he whipped back round, his head became foggy and for a moment he lost his balance. Had it not been for Sir Lemming's lightning reflexes Thomas would have toppled to the ground. "Are you alright dear boy?" He held onto Thomas tightly until he was sure that Thomas could stand on his own.
"Thank you, Sir. Momentary lapse is all." Truthfully, he wouldn't trust himself to be able to walk in a straight line, and a sharp shooting pain began scratching beneath his skin.
"If you're sure." He eyed Thomas suspiciously. Thomas had made his mind up then and there, everything could wait, he had to loosen his corset. With great urgency, he chased himself down below deck and made a hasty direction towards his bedroom.
"There you are! You need to take these upstairs." Thomas was close to answering back but refrained seeing how red in the face Carson was. The older gentleman looked on the verge of a heart attack, so Thomas reluctantly obliged. He wiped the sweat from his forehead and flipped a loose strand of hair back into place before grabbing the tray. He hadn't looked in a mirror all day until now and quite literally looked like death. His skin had paled around blush red cheeks, dark bags formed under his eyes, and already beads of sweat collected on his forehead. After a deep breath, he grabbed the tray with both hands and began the ascent up the staircase.
Following close behind was James, who reached out a supportive hand as Thomas tumbled backwards. "Come on, these need to be eaten hot not room temperature." James heckled. Thomas rolled his eyes and continued.
All the way to the dining room where everybody now sat, Thomas had to blink away the fog to see who exactly was seated around the table. A sudden and writhe pain brought him to his knees, tray crashing to the floor and a first a stunned silence. At a moment's notice, the staff and the Lordship's family were at his aid. I'm
"Somebody fetch Dr Clarkson at once." Lady Cora yelled in James's direction. James ran to the hall phone to make the emergency call. Meanwhile, Cora blotted Thomas's perspiration with her napkin. "I don't think he's breathing properly." She leaned in closer and listened to the pattern of his breathing. In fact, it was quick and shallow.
"Perhaps we should undress him. Maybe there's something restricting the airflow." Mary cut through the panic. "Quickly before he loses consciousness." Although greatly annoying, the family would have done well to invite Cousin Isobel to dinner. Ironically it would seem that the only one in the household with any first aid knowledge was currently shivering on the floor.
"I'll do it." Mrs O'Brien chocked, doe-eyed, from the doorway. James had run free to retrieve her after calling in the emergency. She had been the only one wise enough to figure Thomas's secret, and now she hoped for some answers and this was exactly how to get them. The others backed away to make space. She pulled apart the outer layers until she reached the corset that she suspected was hiding underneath. She found it hard to contain the smug grin that crept onto her face. The others all exchanged glances of confusion. Had Thomas his wits about him he'd protest and throw a rage.
It was obvious from the sight of it, this corset was strangling the boy. His stomach appeared neatly flawless, but his natural baby weight and slightly swollen nipples hung grossly over the fabric. Mrs O'Brien hadn't quite realised that extent of the situation. She knew, from her snooping that Thomas must have been close to six months gone and should be looking exactly that. "Perhaps somebody could grab him a blanket?" Mrs O'Brien whispered hoarsely before unhinging the garment. Lady Mary handed over a throw from the sofa in the next room. She wasn't entirely sure why she cared for Thomas' dignity. A spur of the moment humility feeling sorry.
Dr Clarkson arrived just in time, he knelt beside Thomas on the floor. Empathetic, he was deeply disturbed. He noticed an obviously high temperature and paling. "Thank you for taking care of him. James, Mrs O'Brien, can you help me to a room?" The family leant Thomas a guest room, the servant stairs were too narrow to attempt a relocation effort.
"Can I ask whatever is the matter with him?" Carson asked from the corner of the room. Thomas was settling into the bed, and Dr Clarkson began an examination.
He was fairly certain that the ill effects were only temporary, but he brought out his stethoscope and began to check things over; Thomas' heart, chest and at several points across his gently arched stomach. Carson had felt too dumbfounded to repeat the question. Dr Clarkson felt the positioning of the baby and was satisfied. The baby seemed frustrated and a little too high up in the womb but that would change in time.
"He'll recover in no time. Mr Carson, I don't know why Thomas hasn't spoken to you yet, but he's in a particularly delicate condition. I was sure that Thomas would have been taking care of himself, but apparently, that is not the case."
"I can assure you that I don't have any idea as to what you mean."
"In that case, it would be in his best interest as his employer, if you were privy to this information. You see Mr Carson, I'm not sure how to say it in such a way that you'll believe me, your Mr Barrow is expecting." Dr Clarkson squinted with unease.
"Expecting what? Is he really in such dire health?"
"No, Mr Carson...he's expecting." Dr Clarkson prompted, on deaf ears, he elaborated, "in the family way."
"Are you partner to this twisted joke Mrs O'Brien? Should I relay this information to His Lordship and see what he makes of this?" Carson said sternly.
"Thomas really is with child. I would not lie to you."
"C'mon Mr Carson. You've noticed the little things, haven't you? The only reason you haven't pieced it together by now is that Thomas is a man." Mrs O'Brien watched as Carson's face sank.
"Thomas would keep his responsibilities until the moment the baby dropped if he had his way. However, I'd strongly advise the opposite."
"His Lordship will have a heart attack once I convey the news."
"At least the boy has his health, but in all honesty, mentally I'm worried. He's isolated himself and from what I can tell during our appointments, he's very unhappy. The whole ordeal has been one of suffering. I would understand an attitude of intolerance, but between you and I, the conception was not done so voluntarily."
"Ah, I see that changes things somewhat. Is there such mention as a father? A guilty party of whom to share the burden?"
"No, that much has been kept hidden even from myself. I get the feeling that it was perhaps somebody close to him or the family which would explain the sorrow and reluctance."
"I had no idea what Mr Barrow was going through, how foolish of me. Thank you, Dr Clarkson, I will ring for you personally once he wakes up."
"I would stay, but he will probably sleep through the night and I have other patients who require my attention."
"What are your intentions, Mrs O'Brien?"
"I'd like to stay with him if I could. Make sure that somebody's here when he wakes."
"Very well...Anna or Mrs Hughes will have to take care of Her Ladyship." Carson teetered on his heels and clenched his jaw before making his way to the basement begrudgingly. Thomas was a troublesome boy and whilst he managed to look past his sins, he couldn't have possibly foreseen this surprise.
"What've you gone and done now?" Mrs O'Brien lectured the sleeping man. She tutted and cleared the dust from her knees. She filled a basin with warm water from the bathroom and grabbed a hand towel. Still, on a mission to take care of Thomas, she began to clean his face and later started the fire, worrying he'd be too cold.
Meanwhile, Carson and James finished the dinner service, the family seemed too startled to eat much more but dinner went on, nonetheless. Tea was served in the library where it seemed the topic of conversation was still Thomas. Naturally, they'd be curious. When Carson was caught off guard bringing in the tea tray, Lady Mary took the opportunity to ask of an outcome.
"Mr Barrow, is he alright?" She asked.
Carson coughed, he hadn't quite enough time to plan what he'd say to the family, "He's quite alright My Lady. Dr Clarkson will stop by in the morning but for now, he's sleeping."
"What an awful ordeal. Does Dr Clarkson have any idea what was wrong with him, and perhaps why he was wearing what he was." Lady Cora added.
"I think we should know a little more in the morning. If now is an appropriate time, might I have a word, Your Lordship?"
"You may." The two left the library and stood in the great hall. Carson briefly scanned the surroundings to make sure they were free from prying ears. The Earl looked at him sceptically, "what could possibly require such a high level of security? Is Thomas really okay?"
"It wasn't a lie, as it stands Thomas is healthy. It doesn't end quite there Your Lordship, according to Dr Clarkson, Thomas is with child." Carson answered awkwardly but honestly. His Lordship frowned and crooked his neck in a plausible manner. Carson seemingly avoided eye contact.
"I beg your pardon! You aren't the comedian anymore Carson, it does far from suit you."
"I shared the same reaction. Dr Clarkson has been treating him for a number of months now." Carson didn't quite want to believe that there hid a scandal right under his nose for the better part of half a year. He prided himself on being the all-knowing watcher, so this was somewhat embarrassing.
"Good Lord. Are you serious? Do we have any idea how it happened?"
"Dr Clarkson was sure the child was not mutually conceived." Carson had otherwise noticed a particularly dark period a few months ago. Thomas spoke to nobody and always appeared tired. Thomas often had angsty periods but always came through unscathed. They were usually linked to his sinful lifestyle, so Carson kept to his own business.
"This story keeps getting more and more tragic by the word. I suppose he was wearing the corset to hide his secret from the rest of us. Heavens, what he must have been going through, and in silence. How long has it been?" That statement made Carson feel particularly uncomfortable. Meanwhile, His Lordship blamed the inhibition to get to know Thomas better.
"He hasn't far to go." Carson thought back to his startling discovery, Thomas' stomach being so profound and obvious.
"Blimey." A length silence ensured before His Lordship spoke again, "I should return, thank you for telling me all of this Carson. Can you please let me know when Thomas has awoken, I'd very much like to speak with him?"
"If you wish, My Lord."