But before he can start pulling a Dio on those girls, the threat rose up like a stereotypical vampire. "Straizo isn't down for the count." Ruby muttered as everyone besides JoJo and Smokey ran outside. With one swift pose, Straizo dispersed every bullet in his body as JoJo tensed up. 'The hell... So this is a vampire. Good thing Granny and Grunkle told me everything about them...' he mused.
"It must have sound bizarre for him, eh? Eh?"
"Yang, shut up." RWB said in unison.
"Dio's failure is because he played with his food. He underestimated his foes which made an opening for Jonathan Joestar to strike." Straizo said. RWBY agreed with him, although they still believe JoJo would won against Dio, it would have been way tougher if Dio took him seriously. "But my philosophy is different! I'll kill you before studying the extent of my powers!"
"Nobody asked you, dude."
"And I'll start with the move Dio used to end your grandfather."
"The laser eyes!" Weiss screamed. "Joseph never saw that before, right? He needs to move quick!" Ruby said while Yang just stared in worry. JoJo aimed and fired his tommy gun but he ran out of ammo.
The vampire's irises suddenly opened as his pupils went purple. "Oh here it comes!" Blake panicked. "Space Ripper Stingy Eyes, TAKE THIS, JOSEPH!" Straizo said as he fired.
"It sounded like what a 5 year old would name- OH NO!" Yang yelled as it hit JoJo's neck and forehead. RWB gasped. "No... Not again." Ruby whimpered. Straizo closed his eyes to let his eyes regenerate.
"Well that was easy. All that's left is Erina Joestar."
"And now your assmouth will mutter..."
"It'll be as easy as drowning an infant." Straizo and Joseph said simultaneously. RWBY and Straizo gasped as the vampire turned to face the Joestar.
"But he was..."
"The holes..."
"His neck and forehead were punctured."
"There is no blood..."
JoJo smiled and did one of his signature poses "Now you'll say: How can this fucker live with a hole in his head?"
"How can this fucker live with a hole in his hea-" Straizo gasped.
"Straizo. A country mouse like you could have won if you're a bit more observant. Don't underestimate city folks, you wanker. Take a look at the arm of that clock. Granny told me that Dio bastard killed gramps with that eye thingy." JoJo pointed, Straizo and RWBY gasped. "A mirror?!"
JoJo charged in and used his tommy gun as a baseball bat to fucking bash Straizo in the face. "Kooooh! I'LL KNOCK YOU OUT OF THE PARK! SHOOT!" he flowed the ripple to the gun and it coursed through Straizo. "This guy..." Yang blushed as she was totally blown out of the park. "The hamon went through! Straizo is dead!" Ruby cheered.
"Now, old man Speedwagon told me hamon melts vampire faces like butter in an oven. I wanna see it for myself." JoJo dragged the scarf but he gasped as he saw Straizo's face was just fine, the vampire glared at him as he slowly stood up. "H-Huh??" RWBY gasped in unison.
Straizo fired his stingy eye lasers but JoJo reacted quickly, rolling back matrix style but it grazed his neck with a small cut. JoJo recovered by doing a backhandspring to get back on his feet. "Close call." Blake sighed. "I wish Jonathan did that." Ruby frowned. "How did the ripple not melt him?" Weiss asked. "Yeah! Straizo should be dust by now!" Yang exclaimed. "Joseph never trained his whole life. He didn't have a mentor unlike Jonathan." Blake said.
"What the fuck?! Was Speedwagon wrong?" Joseph asked.
"No. You'll grow in to a deadly foe if I let you live. A secret before you die. There is an insect in Southeast Asia called the Satiporoja beetle. This scarf was made of 30,000 of their stomachs, it acts as an electrical ground allowing me to disperse it." Straizo explained.
"Oh great. That's just great." Weiss rolled her eyes. "Hey, look on the bright side, he didn't have Dio's freeze touch so it won't be too hard for Joseph." Ruby said full of optimism. WBY stared at her before agreeing. How will Joseph get through the hamon countering scarf?
"Wow. That scarf is cool. Bet it was expensive."
"It is."
"But if you think I'm going to rely on hamon alone then you're an idiot. Oh, and consider getting yourself a new scarf."
"What are you-"
JoJo smirked and pulled a string. "NANI?!" RWBY screamed as Straizo gasped at the sight of grenade pinned to his scarf then started running for the window. "How did he- when did he- nevermind! A childish trick!" Straizo swatted the grenade away while the team was speechless.
"Haha! You should have spent more time in the cities, Straiz-oaf! Take a look at that grenade!" JoJo boasted as he leapt outside.
"That doesn't even make any se- WHAT?!" Straizo gasped once more as the grenade was attached to a string that pulled the pin away from 10 grenades in his back. "WHAT KIND OF CITY DOES JOSEPH LIVE IN?!" Weiss stood up and exclaimed. "KYAAAA! I LOVE YOU!" Yang fangirled as Ruby clapped and squealed. Blake remained silent in utter shock.
"AGH! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!" they witnessed the vampire screaming in agony as he got Michael Bay'd. "... Imagine a hunter like him!" Blake blurted out. "Where did he even get those grenades and submachinegun?" Weiss asked, dumbfounded. "Who cares? He looked good doing it~" Yang purred.
The crowd screamed as JoJo peeked to see if his foe would stay down for good. "Oh no..." JoJo muttered. RWBY witnessed Straizo's scattered guts and body parts slowly returning back together. "Aww." Blake closed her eyes as Ruby and Weiss nearly gagged. Yang looked at the side of the screen and shivered before making a pun "He pulled himself together."
RWB groaned.
"Smokey, don't look!"
"Too late! God please forgive me for all my sins!" the kid prayed as he witnessed the vampire regenerating. JoJo glared at the vampire as his blood flowed back to his system. "That didn't work..." Blake muttered as she opened her eyes.
"D-Do you have a way to beat a monster like him, JoJo?"
"Of course!"
"Okay girls, I'm guessing he'll throw another bunch of grenades at him." Ruby guessed.
"You see his legs? They aren't healed yet so I'll use mine." JoJo patted his thunder thighs.
"I bet it's going to be a kick! An overdrive!" Yang cheered, wishing to see one of those badass hamon strikes once again. WB doubted it though since Joseph never trained in his life, so they remained silent.
"Really? For what?" Smokey asked.
What will Joseph do?
FIGHT
ITEMS
DEFEND
JOESTAR SECRET TECHNIQUE
"To run awaaaaaaay, Smokeeeeey! Hey get the fuck outta the way!"
"Gaaaah! This guy is insane!"
RWBY opened their mouths as they're speechless.
Yang started laughing as Ruby followed soon after. Blake smiled as Weiss scoffed "How can he be so stupid yet so smart?!"
"This JoJo ahaha, I can't-" Yang wheezed.
JoJo monologued that he wants Straizo to follow him. "Oh that's actually a good plan." Blake said. "Just like Jonathan luring Dio away from Speedwagon." Weiss smiled warmly.
It cuts to a young woman taking a picture of that wrecked diner. They figured she was a journalist of some sort. She giggled at her new scoop but suddenly the vampire was behind her.
"Oh boy." Ruby muttered.
Straizo then squeezed a stone wall for no fucking reason just so the narrator can say that his fingertips' grip strength was 235 kg.
"He has that strength in just his fingertips? That's stronger than an average huntsman! His fingers are stronger than an average huntsman!" Weiss exclaimed, she seemed knowledgeable at it. The young woman looked up and saw a naked, bloody Tibetan retard as the narrator said his vertical jumping ability was 4 meters which didn't raise an eyebrow from the team since most huntsmen can jump even higher.
It returned to JoJo and Smokey halting on a large bridge. "We should... Be safe here... Right?" the kid panted.
"Nah, not yet. Listen closely."
"To what? The river?"
"Nope. Look up."
Smokey and the team gasped as Straizo the naked bloodsucker held the woman hostage on top of a bridge cable."He'll force him to fight." Blake said. "But Joseph ran out of weapons!" Yang said. "Yeah but Straizo lost the hamon deflecting scarf so this should be even." Weiss said as Ruby scooted at the edge of her seat.
Straizo said he'll kill her if JoJo ran.
"What the- I don't even know her, you moron!"
"This is a test. If you ran I will not pursue you as you're no longer a threat. If you charge, then we fight."
"Of course he is gonna fight you, you killed Speedwagon and he'll fight for that girl!" Ruby said, remembering the late Jonathan. Straizo jammed two fingers at her mouth, RWBY felt uncomfortable. "You have 5 seconds. Run or fight. Decide now, Joseph Joestar!"
"He'll fight you, you don't need to count-" Yang was interrupted by Joseph.
"Meh. Wouldn't fight for a hag like that, even if she's my sweetheart." JoJo nonchalantly said.
"What." RWBY muttered monotonously, disappointed and pissed.
Straizo said that he'll tear her jaw apart as JoJo tensed up. Blake figured Joseph was bluffing.
"Pfft. Yeah right, a proud Tibetan monk won't do that to a g-"
snap*
They gasped as Straizo tossed a tooth down to the ground. The silence was broken when the girl screamed in fear and agony. "Joseph you stupid idiot!" Yang insulted. "What were you thinking?!" Ruby irritably said. "I knew it won't work." Blake facepalmed. "I can't believe this guy!" Weiss adds.
But then Joseph's face scrunched up in anger as he clenched his fist and gritted his teeth. "Teme..!
STRAIZOOOOOO!!!" JoJo roared in anger as the magnificent palette changes made his hair look like blue, symbolizing how he is a Joestar through and through. He teared his jacket and was left in his tanktop "You're a fucking failed abortion! You're inhuman to the core!" he stepped up the support and pointed at Straizo accussingly as the team blushed at Joseph's physique.
Straizo lets go of the unconcious girl who passed out due to shock and claimed how JoJo is full of fire inside. He proceeded to charge his stingy eyes and fired. "OH NO, HOW IS HE GONNA CLOSE THE DISTANCE?!" Weiss wondered.
"Pfft. I can beat that now!" he held up two shot glasses and held it to his forehead and neck in a pose.
"HAMON!" and what do you know, the laser got deflected, although the other beam shot Joseph's shoulder. Straizo got 360 headshot by his own shot.
"I-Imp-"
"Impossible, you say?"