Author's Note: Sorry about the wait, life happens. Anyway this is another bad guy songfic for October, this one sets in the Water Mom Au, in which Lapis is reunited with Jasper along with the Ruby squad.

The song comes from The Pebble and the Penguin.

Don't Make Me Laugh.

"Hello, Lapis."

Lapis stood there in the woods, her body shaken and still, her face in a mix of shock and horror and the cause of all this was standing right in front of her.

"Jasper," Lapis said and with just mentioning that name brought back all the bad memories she wished to forget in their fusion prison.

"I've been looking for you," Jasper smiled as she took a single step towards her.

"Stay away from me!" Lapis said panicking she was about to bring out her water wings when she realized that they where not the only gems here, standing right behind her was the Ruby squad.

"Guess what?" Doc the leader of the squad said, "She wasn't on Neptune."

"Let's smash her!" shouted Army Ruby and Eyeball Ruby nodded to the idea.

"Oh classic Ruby," Navy Ruby giggled.

"Huh? Classic what?" Leggy Ruby asked.

"Stand down!" shouted Jasper thus causing the squad to stop and sault.

Lapis was about to take flight but then Jasper was already in front of her, Jasper took Lapis's hands and she bend on one knee and looked at her with pleading eyes.

"I want us to be Malachite again."

Lapis could not believe what she was hearing, "What? I-I thought you wanted revenge?"

"No, not on you, Lapis," Jasper said, "You have shown me so much in our time together, you've shown me that Fusion is strength and you made me stronger."

Lapis tried to get her hands off of Jasper's grip but no matter how she tired the orange gem would not let go.

"But I trapped you, I tortured you, I hatted you," Lapis said, "Why would you want to go back to that?"

Jasper stood up while her hands still hold Lapis's.

"Because I missed you," Jasper said causing Lapis to gasp, not realizing that Jasper let go.

"Together as Malachite we were powerful, we could fly and no one would dare stand against us.

Jasper then placed both arms on Lapis's shoulder.

"But most of all, I missed you, I never met anyone that was equal in strength with me. When we unfused it was like I missed an important part of me that I can't live without."

With one hand Jasper raised Lapis's chin up towards her.

"So let's be together again, Lapis," Jasper said softly, "I know you miss me to."

Lapis wanted to say she didn't, she wanted to tell Jasper to leave her alone, wanted her to go away. But…deep down Jasper was right. She did miss her.

Jasper grinned and with her other hand she wrapped it around Lapis's waist, her hand over Lapi's gem and Lapis slowly rested her hands on Jasper's shoulders and their faces slowly but surely inching ever closer to the other.

"Should we be watching this?" Leggy asked and the other rubies shushed her as they watched with blushed expressions except for Eyeball who had a mix of sadness and Jealousy.

"Well?" Jasper whispered, her lips just about ready to press onto Lapis's. "What do you say?"

Lapis closed her eyes as her lips draw ever closer to hers.

YOU CAN FIGHT HER MOM!

Her eyes widen and her senses coming back to her and using her waterpower at full she pushed Jasper right into an oak tree.

"NO!" Lapis shouted her face full of anger and tears falling down from her face for almost doing something foolish.

"I will never fuse with you Jasper, not again! There will be no more Malachite!"

The Ruby Squad where about to attack but Jasper raised her hand up to pause their attack, Jasper stood back up and started chuckling.

"Oh, Lapis," Jasper grinned as she picked up a boulder and with out showing the amounts of concentration she crushed it with her bare hands.

Jasper: Don't make me laugh.

Jasper and the Ruby Squad: Ahahaha.

Jasper: Don't make me laugh.

Jasper and the Ruby Squad: Ahahaha.

Jasper: My funny friend, don't make me bend in half.

Lapis glared at Jasper then she noticed a small pond and using her power created a water ball and flung it at Jasper, but the solider was prepared as she summoned her helmet and smashed the water ball and started walking to Lapis.

Jasper: Don't do this Lazuli don't try to flake

Don't make me laugh so hard that you begin to ache.

Lapis started to panic and summoned her water wings and started to take flight but then she was grabbed by the fusion of the Ruby Squad, Lapis tried to fly out of the grip but the fusion held tight.

Jasper: Don't make me laugh.

The Ruby Squad Fusion: Hehehheh.

Jasper: Don't pull my leg.

The Ruby Squad Fusion: Hehehheh.

The Fusion then tossed Lapis down but Jasper caught her and held her tight to her chest.

Jasper: May I suggest you would do best to beg.

Jasper grabbed Lapis's face and forced her to look at her.

Jasper: If you say no, miss, if you refuse.

This is your notice that I refuse to lose.

Then Jasper grabbed Lapis's arms and started dancing with her while Lapis tired to free herself and also if a fusion was about to start, try her best to prevent it.

Jasper: Say yes, my love and go with a winner. Believe me, that would be wiser.

Say no, poor dove and you…will be shattered!

Jasper held her with Lapis's back to her chest and made look at the Ruby fusion as the fusion cracks their knuckles, then Jasper leaned in to Lapis's ear.

Jasper: And Dipper's fate, will be hazard.

Lapis stopped fighting as the horrible image of what Jasper or this fusion or both could do to her son.

Jasper: Ahahahaha.

The Ruby Squad Fusion: Hehehehe. Hahahaha.

Lapis was then spun around to face Jasper.

Jasper: Get the picture?

Lapis tried to fly again but Jasper held her tight despite the many water balls being thrown behind her.

Jasper: Don't make me laugh.

Ahahaha!

Or slap my knee.

Hahahaha!

I mean it truly so Lazuli what 'll it be?

Then Jasper started another dance with Lapis but the blue gem kept trying to flee but every time Jasper kept her near.

Jasper: Let us be Malachite again, or live your life in pain!

Jasper the twirled Lapis towards her and once more held her tight as their faces where close enough to touch.

Jasper: This is your fate, I make me wait, so Lapis.

Don't make me laugh!

Jasper then spun her around once again and then she flung her straight to the ground and as Lapis got up she noticed that Ruby squad unfused and where surrounding her with Jasper standing over them looking at her triumphantly.

Jasper: Hahahaha.

The End.

Author's Note: I still got it! But I have to admit I think I made the middle part a bit steamy…but hey there are some still shipping those two out there so they might like that.

What are you gonna do?