"Now what?" Ruby deadpanned.
Esidisi slowly rose up from a sitting position and turned at Joseph as if he never cried in the first place.
Esidisi: Much better.
"H-He's so unpredictable..." Blake muttered with a hint of fear. Joseph observed him, obviously creeped out as the being said how he cries whenever he was about to rage on to calm himself down.
Esidisi: The man who wrote that book. You're referring to Sun Tzu, right? I met him. Been to China before we entered our slumber. All war is based on deception, anger your enemies to lure them in to making a mistake. That's your plan? Been there done that.
"Oh my God, he actually knows the guy." Yang worryingly said. "Do you think he is related to Sun?" Weiss asked. "Of course not! This is fict-" Blake remembers that it's not fictional "I don't know! Sun might be a common name in their world for all I know!"
"Do you think Mr. Sun Tzu is a hamon user?" Ruby asked. "Hm?" the heiress asked.
"I mean... His name had 'sun' in it, so..."
WB laughed at her pun. Yang snorted "You're trying to one up me now are you?"
"N-No! I swear it was a serious question!"
Esidisi walked towards the corpse as Joseph motionless stood in shock.
Esidisi: I may not be as vocal about it as Wamuu, but I've longed for a worthy opponent.
He stomped Loggins' forearm, severing it then stamping it on his arm to replace the one he lost. "Oh geez!" they cringed at the sight.
The forearm matched his skintone while he lamented that it will grow thicker in time. Joseph was still in shock, he can't read him at all.
Joseph: I can't read him at all!
Esidisi: Oh, JoJo. I believe I have frightened you. Admit it, you're scared.
Team RWBY wasn't prepared for this absolute gorefest.
"AAAAHHHH!" Weiss and Blake screamed as the camera showed Loggins with his blood boiling.
"W-What's going on?" Ruby stuttered in disgust.
"Ughh, geez..." Yang winced.
Joseph was lost and took a step back as some blood splashed at him.
Joseph: H-Hot!
Esidisi: An animal's temperature rises whenever it moves or fights disease. I can make my blood boil for 500 degrees and I sent it to him as I took his forearm.
"C-Celcius or Fa-" Weiss was interrupted.
"Either way it's hot!" Yang yelled.
"So that's why he cried... He was literally hot blooded, he can't help but lose it. He developed crying as a calming mechanism." Ruby concluded. WBY looked at their leader in shock, she wasn't usually like this. "Ruby, your hindsight is amazing..." Blake complimented.
The disturbing Esidisi's body emitted an aura, similar to the green one Wamuu had when he showcased his Divine Sandstorm.
Esidisi: Wamuu can control the wind, while I am a master of fire. Heat is my domain!
RWBY shuddered, they all have the same question "What would be Kars' ability?"
Joseph: Your power to destroy is truly outstanding! But I'm not intimidated, my ripple isn't what it used to! Hamon Clacker Volley!
But Esidisi merely splitted his hand to avoid it, causing the team to cringe. "That was disgusting..!" Weiss whimpered.
Esidisi: I did frighten you. Your emotions caused you to attack recklessly. I'll make you regret waking up today and turn your head in to stew.
His fingernails pried open as his veins popped out. "UGHHH! MAKE IT STOP!" the heiress begged. The rest of the team shuddered.
The lava like blood spluttered to Joseph's face. "J-JoJo!" Yang screamed in worry.
Joseph was sent flying.
Back on the island, Lisa Lisa's wine glass had a small crack, somehow, she knew her son was in trouble.
"DO SOMETHING! Your student is gonna..!" Yang begged at the screen.
The scene changed to Caesar's test. He cornered Messina with his Bubble Launcher.
"No, no, I don't wanna see this! I wanna know what happened to Joseph!" Yang whined as her sister tried to calm her down.
Messina's hamon chop was countered by his bubbles as he was knocked back. Without missing a beat, Caesar was about to close in but Messina stopped him verbally. To which the Zeppeli halted.
Messina: Enough! If we continue, one of us will die. I hate to say it, but I'll be the loser. How can I go on after being shamed like this?
Messina showed his forearms, one was hairy and the other one looks like it got waxed. RWBY chuckled at this and applauded as the instructor said that Caesar passed with flying colors.
But Caesar wasn't too happy. The team wondered why. He bowed respectfully before going back to his side of the tower to receive binoculars from his bag. "He is not gonna like what he's gonna see." Blake gulped.
Messina: You are more concerned about your good for nothing friend's test?
Caesar: I only reached this level because I didn't want JoJo to outpace me. He might be obnoxious and lazy, but he is a good person deep down.
"Kinda reminds me of two people I know..." Yang turned to Weiss and Ruby. "Yeah. I agree."
The two looked at them with confusion. "I have no idea what you girls are talking about." Ruby shrugged.
Messina: Heh. You're bad at making friends, but when you do, I guess it's true love.
Yang's hair glowed and her eyes went red. "Oh come on, don't tell me you're gonna be jealous of Caesar too?" Weiss facepalmed. "Try crying! It might just calm you down!" Ruby suggested.
Caesar: E-ESIDISI?!
"There it goes..." Blake called it. It was revealed that Joseph jumped back to dodge it just barely.
Joseph almost got impaled by the spikes as he fell back. "The mask protected him! Thank goodness he failed that ridiculous inhale for ten minutes challenge!" Weiss said.
The mask bursted in to flames but the spike impaled it, taking it off the Joestar's face.
Joseph: Arghh! Hot hot hot!
He stood back up and clicked his tongue.
Joseph: Damn! These gorgeous, sexy lips just got free from that mask and you just burned them, asshole!
"Y-Yeah... Gorgeous... Sexy... Lips." you already know who said that.
RWB were kind of interested as there are more strategical planning and maneuvers rather than fists flying.
Esidisi: JoJo, on the surface you are making a banter but inside you're scheming aren't you?
Joseph turned pale as the team gasped.
Esidisi: Oh! You turned pale! Was I right? Did I hit the bullseye, NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?!
"He... He can still win this, he haven't used the next line trick. He can win this." Ruby said.
Joseph thought about his next plan, forming a web with his string by dodging. And once he steps inside the web, Joseph will fry him with the ripple.
"That's a good plan. Joseph can pull it off." Blake said unsurely.
Joseph began to doubt it however as Esidisi laughed out loud. "D-Did he figure him out again?" Ruby asked. "Hope not!" Weiss answered.
Esidisi lied and impaled himself with the spikes while laughing, causing the team to cringe once more.
But then, he leapt high on the air as the holes in his body sprouted blood while Joseph screamed in terror.
RWBY: OH MY GOSH!
AYAYAYAYYYYYYYYY *beat drops*
Esidisi: HEAT MODE: BURNING PRISON!
Multiple veins popped out, trying to tag Joseph.
HEEEE-EEEEEHHHH
HEEEEEEEAAAHHH
"THE MUSIC! THE THEME! OH MY GOD!" Yang had an eargasm. RWB gritted their teeth at the intense action as the Joestar dodged in panic.
YAYAAAA!
Come on! Yeah!
Come on! Yeah!
Esidisi: How long can you evade them?
YAYAYAYAYYYY
AAAAAAAAAAHHH!
Then he noticed that Joseph's hat was shrinking the more he moves. "T-The string! It was on his beanie!" Ruby pointed out.
Joseph: So you finally noticed, huh? Why was it shrinking? I was spinning a web and you fell right in to it!
Joseph grabbed his shrinking beanie. He said that it was wool and conduct the ripple effectively, but...
The theme is still playing. "It's not over yet..." the faunus muttered.
Esidisi: Oho?
Joseph: W-Why the hell are you smiling at, punk?!
RWBY was silent as they observed the heated battle of Air Supplena unravel.
Esidisi: Your next line is "I'll wipe that smirk off your face."
Joseph: I'LL WIPE THAT SMIRK OFF YOUR FACE! H-HUH?!
R: I-IMPOSSIBLE! H-HE USED THE TRICK..!
W: JUST HOW IN THE WORLD IS JOSEPH GONNA WIN THIS ONE?!
B: I'm- I'm legitimately scared.
Y: Joseph...
Joseph: B-But... That's my-
Esidisi: LOOK BELOW YOU, FOOL!
*Awaken reaches 1:40. heavy guitar riffs*
AHAA HAAHEEE
AYAYAYAYYYYYY
Esidisi: I'M THE ONE SPINNING THE WEB!
His toenails were popped open as veins slittered around, causing Weiss to shriek. Yang was feeling hopelessness as the theme intensifies.
AHAAAIEEEE YAYAAAA
"Holy shit, this theme is just..." Blake sighed. "I feel goosebumps!" Ruby claimed. They gasped as the veins surrounded Joseph, he was cornered with nowhere else for him to go.
YAAAAAAAAAHHAAAIIIIII
"He was surrounded... He can't- he can't use the secret technique!" Yang said, horrified beyond belief.
*Awaken reaches 2:11. Beat thumps hard, probably Wamuu flexing his pecs*
Esidisi: JoJo... You said victory was decided before the battle was fought, right? MASANI, MASANI, MA SA NI!
His veins severed all of Joseph's string, rendering them useless. "Shit..! What now?" Blake was cursing, she was trying to figure out how he'd survive.
Caesar was panicked as he saw his friend's situation.
Caesar: H-He's on knife's edge! At this rate, he's gonna... DAMNIT!
RWBY: HELP HIM!
Messina: Caesar! We can assume Loggins is dead. If JoJo falls, he'll come after us next. We must prepare and protect Lisa Lisa and the stone at all cost. It's painful to say it, but he's too far away.
"O-Oh come on! Stop being a bitch!" Yang screamed.
Caesar took one last glance at Joseph before climbing down the tower. "They're too far away." Blake stated. "Yeah but... They could've atleast try." Yang huffed. The team was at the edge of their seats as the blood landed in Joseph's muscular arms.
It was full of suspense.
But then Joseph opened his eyes with a smirk as the theme stops.
"Here it comes!" Ruby grinned, she was waiting for the comeback. She have no idea how he'd pull it off, but he's alive and well.
Joseph closed his eyes again as he began to chuckle with his arms folded, surprising the fiery pillar man. "What..." WBY deadpanned.
Esidisi: Why are you laughing? Has the fear driven you mad?
Joseph: Silly Esidisi, my arms are folded and my eyes are closed. This is a victory pose. Let me tell you about the saying "You snooze, you lose". You snoozed for 2000 years, freak.
WBY: WHAT?!
Esidisi: I-I lost?! What are you talking about?!
"Psh. You're a bad guy. Of course you lose." Ruby said cockily, but she immediately made herself sad as she remembered William and Jonathan. "Oh..."
Joseph: You think your plan went deep, but mine went deeper.
Esidisi frantically looked around to see if he was bluffing to buy time, but considering thay Joseph was crafty, he could be tellling the truth.
Joseph: Humans have evolved for the past centuries while you sleep. Sleight of hand became entertainment and you can call me a bit of an expert mhm. ILLUSION IS MY THING!
Esidisi and RWBY: THE STRING?! BUT I/HE SEVERED IT!
The team blinked as they totally said Esidisi's exact lines. The pillar man overthinked about how it was still intact, he failed to dodge Joseph's web as it wrapped him around.
Joseph: My rope magic worked. I laid my trap with another layer of a knot so even if it was cut, it would still be usable.
"His sleight of hand was out of this world... I would like to learn more about it." Blake muttered. "Heh, think you can pull that off with Gambol Shroud?" Yang taunted.
The hamon then slowly pierced through Esidisi's skin. He was growling in pain and anger as the rope squeezed tighter.
Joseph: Next you'll say: My veins will move faster than your fucking hamon!
Esidisi said just that as Joseph inhaled. "Here we go, here we go!" Yang clapped. "I knew he'd find a way!" Ruby smiled.
Joseph: FEEL THE BEAT OF MY HAMON OVERDRIVE!
Joseph pulled to squeeze Esidisi even further. His hamon was severely punishing the pillar man. Esidisi tried to grab the string but his fingers fell off.
"Checkmate." Weiss folded her arms. "Just die already!" Ruby said.
Huge amount of yellow light glowed from Esidisi's body as a final gambit. His head piece fell off, revealing his horn, his chiseled face was now skeletal.
Esidisi: YOU PUSHED ME TOO FAR! DORARARAAAA! (Yes he did say it. I just watched it on YouTube)
Esidisi attempted to stab Joseph with his horn. Joseph attempted to grab it but it broke in contact.
Joseph: His body is leaking out some kind of energy. Was it the energy he stole from the people he ate? Fryyyy, motherfucker!
Esidisi fucking dies.
The team cheered and applauded. The fight was well done. "So far my favorite fight!" Ruby declared. "It's awesome. I have no words." Blake said "I agree. It was less physical and more about mindgames and deception." Weiss said.
Yang was proud of her Joestar.
Joseph: Loggins, you better be watching! Thanks for torturing me. Well, I think I passed with flying colors. A plus plus plus... Maybe an A minus because I used your arm.
"Wait, the ring! He can finally get rid of the one on his trachea!" Blake remembered.
Joseph wondered why Esidisi melted but Santana just turned to stone.
"It's because you're stronger now." Yang smirked.
He broke the ring apart and saw the slimy substance he needed to consume.
"Ewww." Ruby said.
Joseph: Eughh... It looks like snot because it's a nose ring... But I have to drink it.
He did. RWBY cheered once more as the screen shows an xray of his windpipe being free of that cursed wedding ring.
"One more ring to go until he was officially divorced." Yang smirked. "Oh please, you don't have the guts to ask him out in person." Weiss teased. "Oh yeah?! I'd like to see you ask Jonathan out!" the brawler growled. "I-I will!" the heiress barked back.
Joseph: Ahh finally it's gone! Could use a nap...
The team went silent however as they witness something bizarre.
"No..." Ruby whispered as she heard the Roundabout riff.
The camera showed that there was a brain on his back as he made his way back to Lisa Lisa's palace.
To be continued.
"NO DON'T LEAVE US ON A CLIFFHANGER!"
I'm sorry. I just really love Awaken that I just have to write it even if it makes no sense at all. 2 updates in 24 hours. Wow, sometimes I surprise myself.
Also shoutout to PhoenixClaw2128 for agreeing to help me with the future chapters. Give him some love!