Wasting no time, Ruby immediately reached for the remote and pressed the button.
"Hell yeah! I love this even more! So many twists and shit!" Yang grabbed the dumbbell under the couch and started holding it just because she can.
"So is Esidisi actually dead or what?" Weiss asked. "We'll find out soon, don't worry. This is gonna be our last episode for the morning. It's almost lunch time." Blake said as she glanced at the wall clock.
"Then we cook our food, return to our seats and continue watching!" Ruby said.
The episode started with Joseph cracking his neck and shoulder as he walked, the sun rising in the distance.
Joseph: I think I used my head too much… my shoulders are sore. They feel so heavy!
He couldn't see it, but hanging from his back was some kind of slimy creature, looking similar to a brain with several tentacles gripping onto the Joestar's clothes.
"Yeah... I don't think I can eat my lunch while watching this, sorry sis." Yang laughed nervously.
"Eugh... How can he not notice that thing?!" Weiss complained. "Looks like a nervous system of some sort." Blake muttered.
However, the title of the episode confused them.
Episode 18: Von Stroheim's Revenge
"Stroheim? The guy from the Mexico place- isn't he dead?" Ruby asked. "There must be something wrong with the tape... Hold on let me see." Yang reached for Battle Tendency's cover.
Lisa Lisa was on top of her balcony, looking over the ocean.
Lisa Lisa: it's dawn. Caesar and JoJo should be back before too long.
Maid: Madam Lisa Lisa!
"Yeah the episode says it was Stroheim's revenge." the blonde showed it to her sister.
"That's strange, there's no way he'd survive that blast." the heiress said.
Lisa Lisa turned to see a blonde woman with blue eyes in a polka dot blouse walking over with two different outfits, one white, the other purple with yellow stripes.
Maid: Which blouse do you like?
Lisa Lisa: Suzi Q, thank you.
Suzi: White is always nice, but something colorful can be fun.
"Girls, don't forget that Joseph literally has a brain on his back." the faunus said, on her guard.
That statement made Ruby gulp as they watch Lisa Lisa began unfastening the Red Stone from around her neck, placing it on the table.
Lisa Lisa: I'll let you decide.
Suzi: Let's see, then… how about the white one? But I really do like this design…
As Suzi puzzled over which blouse was best.
"She seems like an airhead. Reminds me of someone I know." Weiss smirked and glanced at Ruby. "What, I'm not thinking what you're thinking, Weiss." the leader shrugged.
Lisa Lisa: Did JoJo and Caesar pass their final exams? Somehow I'm worried…
"Yeah, your student almost fucking died, and your other manwhore is a donut, you should have been worried." Yang huffed.
Suzi: Let's go with the refreshing white!
Lisa Lisa: Suzi Q…
Suzi: Yes?
Lisa Lisa: Send Caesar and JoJo to my room when they arrive.
Suzi: I really like the clean design of this one. Which is better? Which to choose? White! Then again… this is nice, too! Oh, what to do?
Lisa Lisa and the RWB smiled. "I think there wasn't much content up there in that head of hers. I really find her and Ruby to be similar." the heiress giggled.
"Huh? What's that supposed to mean?" Ruby asked.
"I've got a bad feeling about her." Yang mumbled.
Lisa Lisa: the colorful one will do nicely, Suzi.
Suzi: Good choice Madame!
They all went silent as the scene unfolds.
Lisa Lisa began undressing, removing her clothes to reveal her voluptuous figure and sinking into a bathtub filled with warm water, while Suzi lay the blouse on the table next to the stone.
"I don't feel comfortable watching this." Blake declared. "Fanservice, huh. Gotta admit, she has a nice figure going on." Yang complimented. "Well she is a hamon master. Of course she'd be fit. I wonder how old is she?" Ruby questioned.
Meanwhile, Weiss was silent, hoping that one day she'll have a bust as big as Lisa Lisa's.
Suzi exited the room and began walking down a spiral staircase, and through the hallways of the building.
"Oh, here comes Joseph." Blake stated.
As she passed a corner, a muscular figure shrouded in shadow was seen behind her, the katakana for menacing floating around him.
Man: Hey… Suzi Q.
Suzi screamed and jumped back, holding her hands to her face in surprise. The man, revealed to be Joseph, flinched back and frowned at her, funny music beginning to play.
"I thought Esidisi got to Joseph offscreen or something." Ruby shrugged.
Joseph: Hey, what are you screaming about?! Shut the hell up, fucking idiot!
Suzi: W-Who… who are you?! There's a stranger on the island!
Joseph: Stranger?! It's me! Joseph Joestar!
Suzi blinked, and Joseph winked, grinning. "Oh no..." RWB glanced at Yang, who's currently holding her 15 lbs. dumbbell.
Suzi: JoJo?! No way! You always had a mask on before. What a surprise.
Joseph: You haven't seen my face in all this time? And so? Am I handsome?
Y: What kind of a fucking question is that?! Of course you are!
W: Why didn't you say that when he was here?
Y: Shut up!
He leaned against the wall and leaned forward, his grin growing wider.
Suzi: Hm… weird lips.
Y: WHAT? They aren't weird!
R: Yang, calm down.
Joseph held a hand up to his lips and let out an 'eh?!' noise, while Suzi giggled. He huffed and spread his arms, shaking his head.
Joseph: Heh. Even if they are weird, they're delicious, want a free sample?
Suzi: in your dreams! Blegh!
Y: Yes! That's it! Reject him! You are not worthy!
She pulled on the side of her mouth and stuck her tongue out, making fun of him. He laughed and pulled back, but before he could say anything a tentacle suddenly whipped out over his shoulder, before retreating back. It brought RWBY back to reality.
"Right... Esidisi wasn't down for good." Blake said. "Well, he'd work great as a cockblock." Yang muttered. "I'm quite unsettled, what's stopping him from attacking Joseph?" Weiss asked.
Suzi gasped in shock, the action having been so fast that she wasn't sure if it had actually happened. He blinked as he noticed her mood change and tilted his head. Joseph asked her about it.
Suzi: Nothing! Nothing at all. Oh yeah, Madame Lisa Lisa wants you to go to her room. But she's in the bath, so wait half an hour.
He explained about he plans to anyway since they know about the stone, she asked about it.
Joseph: Uh, Don't worry about it. You don't want to get involved.
"Wait! I think Esidisi is gone!" Yang exclaimed. They all noticed something off about Suzi all of a sudden.
Joseph began walking away and Suzi watched him go, tilting her head.
Suzi: Hey, JoJo…
Joseph stopped to hear her out.
Suzi: you're actually pretty hot.
*CLANG*
The team jumped a little as Yang "accidentally" snapped the dumbbell in half.
Suzi quickly ran around the corner, Joseph watching her go, before he grinned to himself. The Joestar sexdrive has no weakness!
"This just isn't my day." Yang sadly muttered. "Well, what do you expect? He's attractive." Weiss folded her arms as Ruby rubbed the blonde brawler's back to comfort her. "I agree. I'd say he'd do well as a supermodel." Blake second her notion. "Hey didn't you two just said Joseph is too obnoxious to be attractive?!" Yang snarled.
He began rolling his shoulders, noticing that they were suddenly lighter. The odd brain thing was gone, except for some odd green slime.
"He is gone!" Ruby screamed.
Joseph: That's odd. My shoulders have loosened up.
He shrugged and walked away, while the camera panned down to the floor, where that same green slime created a trail, burning through the stone.
As the shot switched to the outside of the island, the words 'One ring neutralized at 6 a.m. The other dissolves in six days.' appeared. Joseph was near Lisa Lisa's room, leaning on a window sill and looking out.
Joseph: The news I have is important, but Lisa Lisa is taking a bath. So I'm supposed to wait half an hour.
Joseph watched as Suzi handed someone on a boat a package, before the boat sped away from the island.
B: I kinda wonder where Caesar is. I mean, he finished his test earlier and he walked away while Joseph and Esidisi were still figh-
Joseph stood there for a minute, looking over the water, before suddenly turning to the door to Lisa Lisa's room with a grin.
B: -ting.
R: Oh what's he up to now?
Joseph: If I was told to wait, I'll wait. Where to spend half an hour? I think the best place is here, by Lisa Lisa's door!
"Oh no, don't you fucking dare." Yang said.
As he talked, he snuck towards the door, looking around for any witnesses. "Ughh..." Weiss just facepalmed.
"I don't get it, what's he gonna do?" Ruby asked.
He grinned towards the camera, apparently breaking the fourth wall as he knelt down next to the keyhole.
Joseph: Would it be so wrong if I peeked through the keyhooooooole?
"What- YES! It's wrong! Pervert!" Ruby angrily screamed.
He gasped as he looked through it, seeing Lisa Lisa naked as she brushed her hair, sitting on the edge of her bathtub and facing away from him, so thankfully no… bits were fully exposed.
"What the hell?! Ughh! Men!" Blake complained.
As he watched, Joseph let out small giggles of laughter, ecstatic. He suddenly turned away and smirked towards the camera, slamming his forearms together to make an X and nodding.
Joseph: NIIIICE!
"Not nice! I'm hotter than her! Hold on." Yang started to undress. "Yang stop! He can't see you, dummy!" Ruby frantically held her back.
"Ughh..! A part of me was kind of glad Jonathan didn't live long enough to be this disappointed." Weiss shook her head and groaned.
He turned back, wanting to get another peek, his ecstatic grin still in place. It slowly morphed into confusion as he spotted Suzi Q speaking to his teacher.
Team RWBY suddenly were on the edge of their seats. "That was fast!" they all exclaimed.
He looked closer at her face, and it seemed almost dead with how blank her eyes were. Joseph let go of the doorknob and blinked, feeling some liquid on his hand. He turned it over and saw the green sludge sticking to the handle and stretching to his hand.
Joseph: What the…? The knob is covered in slime.
Their eyes widened. This can only mean one thing. "I'm gonna call it, the bastard possessed Suzi." Yang said.
"You can't call something as it happens, it's not how it works!" Weiss complained.
Inside, Lisa Lisa turned to Suzi, who was standing by the table.
Lisa Lisa: So. Suzi, have JoJo and Caesar returned yet?
She didn't answer, and Lisa Lisa shifted slightly, sweating. Dark and mysterious music began playing.
"Oh dear, it's scary again." Ruby said.
The girl turned to her, slime dripping visibly from her back and hands onto the floor, with her face blank, and eyes oddly patterned. Lisa Lisa's eyes glanced to the table, where she saw that the Red Stone of Aja was missing.
Lisa Lisa: Suzi! Where did you put the Red Stone?!
She didn't answer, instead her body began contorting oddly, cracking noises ringing out like bones snapping. Red blood trails began rising up her face, while more slime dropped from her.
Lisa Lisa: Who are you?! Where is the Stone?!
Joseph: N-No!
Suzi suddenly began coughing, boiling slime rising from her throat.
Lisa Lisa: S-Something's inside Suzi!
Y: CALLED IT!
W: That doesn't count! Ughhh!
RB: Ew! Ew! Ew!
Lisa Lisa jumped away and out of the bath, covering herself. Suzi began groaning, but there was a deeper tone to her voice, like a man was speaking alongside her.
"She was possessed by a brain!" Ruby exclaimed. Suzi's body reached up and covered her face, while she reached out with her other arm.
Suzidisi: You have reduced me to nothing but a brain! But I'm not going down without a fight! I put the Stone on the boat that just left! I am here to stop you from chasing it! You will not follow that postal boat!
"What, you idiot. They wouldn't have known if you didn't boasted. Your plan could have gone smoothly, now they know where it's gonna go." Blake said. "Just be glad! Or else the hamon warriors would lose!" Yang argued.
"Well, Lisa Lisa did asked where the stone went, I guess he was just polite enough to answer?" Ruby stated.
Suzidisi: The woman I am inside of is still mostly alive! You worms are gonna have to go through her! Can you do that?
Esidisi in Suzi's body, stumbled towards Lisa Lisa, before Joseph suddenly kicked open the door, glaring at the Pillar Man.
Lisa Lisa: JoJo!
Joseph: I SWEAR I WASN'T PEEPI- I uhh I mean, aha! You never give up, do you, Esidisi?
Voice: JoJo!
Joseph turned as he felt a hand on his shoulder, and saw Caesar standing behind him.
"CAESAR! What the hell, what took you?" Yang asked. "Atleast Joseph finally has a backup." Ruby optimistically chirped.
Joseph: Oh, Caesar! It's about damn time. Slow ass.
The dark music stopped as Caesar smiled, cheer and relief visible in his eyes at the sight of his alive friend. He made to speak, before coughing to try and reassert his cool personality, and not show any relief.
"Oh why do I get yaoi vibes from them?" Blake muttered before her eyes widened, they must not know she likes those kinds of books.
"Keep your fantasies out of this, Blake." Yang said. "O-Okay. Forget I said anything." the faunus agreed.
He turned away, crossing his arms nonchalantly and raising an eyebrow.
Caesar: So, you survived your bout with Esidisi? Dumb luck.
He made to walk past JoJo, who was glaring with his hands on his hips at Esidisi. Caesar stopped and blinked as he spotted his teacher in nothing but a towel, and gasped. He grabbed Joseph's shirt and pulled him close, shaking him.
Caesar: JoJo! What the fuck do you think you're doing with our coach?!
Joseph: I wasn't doing anything! Look at Suzi, you schmuck.
Suzi was now perched on a pillar, although her body looked completely unharmed now, no blood nor slime. Instead, she was crying, holding one hand up to her eyes.
Joseph: His brain and blood vessels have taken over her body! Damn him!
Suzi: Save me Caesar… Please… Everyone picks on me… But you won't, will you Caesar?
"YES! You look better with Caesar anyways!" Yang cheered. "Esidisi is so creepy." Ruby adds.
Joseph: Tch. Don't fall for it. She's not the one talking. Esidisi is the one trying to act cute.
Blake and Weiss huffed "Someone's jealous."
"I'm not! I'm actually gla-" they cut Yang off. "Wasn't talking about you, Yang. Joseph is."
Lisa Lisa: Caesar, the Stone is on a postal boat. Leave this to us. Go after the stone. If the the Stone reaches a train in Venice, we have no idea where in the world it might go.
While they were distracted by Lisa Lisa's words, Suzi's body stopped crying, and Esidisi commanded it to jump over to them, landing a devastating kick to Caesar's chest.
"Ooooh, he let his guard down." Yang winced.
Esidisi: Over our dead body! You have to kill me first, worms!
Caesar: A male voice! His blood vessels actually are controlling her from within!
Before he could get up, Suzi's body leaped over them, sending out various veins to grab onto the doorway, hanging in the middle of it like a spider in its web. "UGHHH!" RWBY cringed at the sight. But nonetheless, they are getting used to it.
Esidisi: Bring it on! Use your Hamon and kill me! It would be easy to destroy me in my current state! But you know that his girl's heart can't take a Hamon shock like that! Are you willing to take this girl's life? I doubt you have the balls!
As Esidisi laughed, Joseph calmly walked forward, and grasped onto Suzi's cheeks. "What, you can't be serious! Joseph!" Yang exclaimed. "Is he actually going to?" Blake raised an eyebrow. "He's gonna kill Suzi! Don't!" Ruby said.
Joseph: Don't underestimate me, asshole! I only have to end the life of one girl and I can save the entire world. I consider it a necessary sacrifice.
Caesar: A-Are you kidding me, JoJo?!
Joseph lifted a fist, clenching it hard as yellow Hamon energy burst to life around it, sparks flying. He swung it down, going to smash the girl's, and Esidisi's, brain in.
Joseph: FRY, MOTHERFUCKER!
Lisa Lisa: N-No! There's gotta be another way!
Caesar: JoJo!
RWBY braced for impact as Joseph's fist closed in, and Suzi's face stayed blank. It got closer and closer, for a long god damn time.
"Uhh, why is it taking so long?" Weiss asked.
Joseph: I'm really gonna do it!
RBY: He's not gonna do it.
He suddenly winced, and whiffed the hit, spinning around and posing with his fist in the air.
Joseph: Damn it! I can't hit her!
RWBY rolled their eyes and chuckled.
Lisa Lisa and Caesar heaved small sighs, partially of relief, while Joseph grabbed Suzi's still blank face.
"Well, it was worth the try." Ruby grinned and shrugged.
Joseph: This fucker! I thought he'd pop out of her, but he's still unfazed! You really do want to die, huh?
Suzidisi: That was pathetic. You could never kill this girl.
He looked up with a sick grin and let off soft, hissing chuckles, slapping Joseph's hands away.
"Now what?" the heiress asked.
The scene showed the boat arriving in Venice, and a bag being thrown onto the stone, several different envelopes visible inside it. "That's gonna be a mess! It'll take too long to find it! And by then, Joseph's ring might already kill him!" Ruby narrated, before realizing that Joseph was alive because he was there this morning. "Oh."
Suzidisi: the Stone has likely already arrived on the main island. You're too late. And now…
Esidisi began slowly clawing at Suzi's face, blood dripping from the long gashes he was making in her cheeks. "Was that really neccessary?!" Yang yelled as the rest of the yeam grimaced.
Caesar: W-what the hell is he doing to Suzi now? What a weirdo!
Joseph: W-What the hell are you doing to Suzi now, you weirdo?!
Esidisi: For my next trick, I will explode this girl's body, and cover you all with blood as hot as lava!
Blood spurt from one of her wounds, hitting the floor and sizzling as it melted through. "Shoot! So he can still use his Heat Mode at that state!" Weiss said with panic.
Even more blood shot out, looking like a fine mist as groans of pain came from Suzi. The team were speechless, but they felt pity for what Suzi has to go through, it must have been very painful.
Lisa Lisa: S-Suzi's body is falling apart! If this keeps up... V-Very well. JoJo, use your Hamon on Suzi!
Joseph: Me?! I can't even punch her! Don't make me do this, I still have nightmares about chopping Von Stroheim's leg off!
"Why did you have to remind me?" Weiss and Blake said at the same time.
Lisa Lisa: I'll do it then.
Caesar: N-No, Coach! Let me do it.
Joseph: W-WaIt! I thought of something! Remember Hell Climb Pillar! We'll try that!
RWBY raised their eyebrows. "Hell Climb Pillar... All he did was use that oil sheet as a zipline, I can't connect it to the situation." Yang pondered. "Yeah, I wonder how is that relevant." her sister adds.
The show's colors went bright and colorful as Caesar gasped, looking at Joseph, and Joseph looked back holding up two fingers.
Joseph: You and me! Two types of Hamon!
Lisa Lisa: Two types? Oh!
Caesar: That's crazy!
Joseph: Crazy enough to work! Let's get this wanker, come on!
"Two types... What was it again?" Weiss asked. "I think it was hot and cold or something." Ruby shrugged.
Suzi's body broke apart even more as blood spurt out, causing Joseph and Caesar to gasp.
Caesar: Understood. JoJo, since you still kinda suck, follow my lead.
Joseph: Ye- hey! That was uncalled for!
Joseph nodded anyway.
"Here we go here we go!" Yang clapped excitedly as the rest of them grinned in excitement. There was a moment's pause.
"Wait for i-" Blake was cut off however.
Before Caesar suddenly sprinted forward.
Caesar: NIGERUNDAYO!
"Oh come on." the faunus whined.
Caesar and Joseph intersected, Joseph starting from Suzi's left and Caesar her right, before switching up their sides as Esidisi threw more blood at them. Joseph and Caesar breathed in, Joseph pouring Hamon energy his hands and striking Suzi's forehead and leg, while Caesar did the same, but placed both hands on her back, right below her heart. Light shine from the points of contact, a swirl of Hamon energy lighting up the background.
The team cheered in hype but they barely had any idea what's going on.
The narrator then said that Joseph creates a burst of positive Hamon! Caesar focuses negative Hamon on Suzi's heart! At that point, the Hamon is negative-positive zero!
A diagram appeared, showing blue, positive Hamon meeting with red, negative Hamon, creating a zone where no Hamon existed, protecting Suzi's heart.
"THAT MAKES SENSE." Ruby yelled. But no one seemed to agree with her. They watched this series for quite some time now they slowly started to just get along with it.
Suzi suddenly fell to her knees, her light blue, blank eyes wavered, before they transformed back into a deep blue, and tears came to them. Suddenly, a growth appeared on her back, and Esidisi's brain crawled out from under her blouse, tentacles waving wildly.
"Still alive, huh?!" the heiress snarled.
It jumped upwards and Lisa Lisa, who was still in a goddamn towel, just glared at the creature. "Oh come on, you're gonna perv on Lisa Lisa too?" Blake asked in annoyance.
Lisa Lisa: You've forced him out.
I suddenly landed on Joseph's back, who stood calmly as its tentacles waved around him. "Oh, he's gonna perv on Joseph." Blake calmed down.
"Wait, why is he just standing there?" Yang asked. "Took the words from my mouth." Ruby mumbled.
Caesar: JoJo!
Joseph just turned, letting the rising sun wash over him, and Esidisi.
Joseph: No, it's all right. He could use some Vitamin D.
Y: VITAMIN DEATH.
Caesar: That scumbag. Hiding away in a girl's body like that.
Joseph: No Caesar, you don't understand. I fought with him, so I realized something.
"Finally, he died." Ruby sighed in relief.
Esidisi's brain fell forward, disintegrating in the sunlight, and landed in Joseph's outstretched hand.
Joseph: He threw away his pride and did all he could to get the Stone for his allies. For thousands of years he lived his life to the fullest. Whether it was good or evil, I respect his life.
B: Character development.
W: I guess I can see a bit of George and Jonathan within him after all.
Esidisi's brain fully disintegrated, and Joseph clenched his hand as the ashes drifted away on the Mediterranean breeze.
W: That gross thing is finally gone.
R: Esidisi is quite good. He made the fight exciting.
Caesar: JoJo…
Y: Caesar, your next line is gonna be "You're so damn cool!" because I know that's what I'd say!
The scene pulled away from the island, the sun shining down from on high.
Y: Oh goddamnit.
PhoenixClaw helped me with this chapter, they did most of the work I feel bad lmao.