In the spirit of my damn birthday, I'll upload two chapterd within the span of 8 hours.
Y: FUCKIN' AWESOOOOME!
B: Ughh, it's so loud!
R: I wonder if that's how Coco feels like whenever she fights...
W: I wouldn't trade accuracy over rate of fire however.
Lisa Lisa: What is that?!
Caesar: Its coming from downstairs!
Back downstairs, Kars had been blown into the snow, but was now managing to stand his ground against the hail of bullets. "Yeah! Pluck him like a chicken, Stroheim! Show us how they do it in Germ!" Yang cheered.
Kars: The Stone will be mine! Esidisi fought like a madman just to get it, I won't let him die for nothing!
Suddenly, his Bone Blade began glowing brightly, causing Stroheim to take a cautionary step back while still firing his stomach gun, it piqued the team's curiosity too. "I guess it's time for Kars to show us what he got." Weiss said with caution.
AYAYAYAYYYYYYY
Kars: I suppose I shall tell you… I control light! SHINING SABRES!
He began swinging his arm, bisecting each bullet before they could pierce him, splitting them into perfect halves. "H-He's quick!" Weiss exclaimed. "Uncle Qrow once showed me a technique to parry bullets, but that involves- it didn't involve slicing each one specially from an automatic machine gun with armor piercing bullets!" Ruby was awestrucked at Kars' swordplay.
"No way a bone can deflect that!" Blake exclaimed. "I guess fighting Kars in a brawl is out of the question." Yang chuckled nervously.
Even at 600 hundred rounds per minute, not a single bullet was able to reach Kars. Stroheim began sweating, watching in awe.
Stroheim: I-Impossible… that blade is made of hardened bone and skin! It shouldn't be able to deflect bullets, let alone slice them in half!
The cyborg ran out of ammo and just fucking stood there.
Stroheim: Here he comes, here he comes, here he comes, here he comes, here he comes, here he comes!
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST STANDING THERE, YOU IDIOT!" Yang yelled.
Kars closed in, and swung his blade, causing a shimmering sound to ring out as he did so. As the blade closed in, Stroheim was able to witness exactly what was happening, of course letting out an unneccessary scream. The edge wasn't a simple wedge, but instead it was moving at incredibly high speeds. Tiny, sharp claws like shark teeth were sliding along the outer edge of the blade. Each blade refracted light, making the blade look as though it were glowing. Kars slid past Stroheim, landing in a crouch after having cut through his body and arm. "Ooooh... Good thing Stroheim was a machine otherwise that won't be pretty..." Ruby winced. "It just sliced through him with ease, like Stroheim isn't even there. Kars is totally on a different level than Esidisi or Wamuu..." Blake narrated.
Stroheim: We can't win! Not with my weapons or any modern technology! We can't beat him!
Just as he finished, his body finally fell apart, as if registering that it had been cut. His torso split into two parts, and his right arm fell off. Luckily, both places that he had been split were fully mechanical, meaning he was in no danger of dying due to blood loss.
Kars turned to the collapsed form of the German, calmly, as Joseph still stood in the house watching.
Kars: And what was Santana? Nothing but a child! He was a guard dog! He couldn't compare to us.
Y: Wait, how did he know Santana's name? Didn't Stroheim named him?
B: Maybe Santana had no name in the first place and Kars just rolled along with their name.
W: Goes to show that Santana was nothing compared to the trio, huh?
Joseph: K-Kars! That ice cold sheen! An edge that can cut bullets! I can't block that thing with my bare hands! Even with concentrated Hamon, it would slice right through me!
R: Why would you even think of-
As he thought to himself, Kars had picked up Stroheim's upper body and was rifling through his pockets, looking for the stone, all while walking towards a massive drop at the edge of an icy cliff. Joseph quickly ran out after them, before slowing down to walk alongside Kars, several feet to his left.
Joseph: To be honest, I want to run away! He's too dangerous. But I can't just let him take the Stone! If he gets it, it's game over... Damn it all! I just want to divorce Wamuu! Was this in my horoscope?!
The line made the team chuckle.
Kars, having searched all of Stroheim's pockets, saw one final one he hadn't yet searched.
Kars: The Stone is in this pocket. The Red Stone Of Aja! I have waited 4– no, 5,000 years for this! And at last it is mine. It was destined to fall into my hands!
He grabbed the ruby red stone from Stroheim's pocket, looking at it in glee. "... SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING." Ruby screamed. Joseph called Kars' attention, to which the Pillar Man glared at him menacingly.
Kars: You wait right there. I'll kill you soon.
That line sent chills down RWBY's spine.
Joseph: T-That bastard… H-He really does hate me! If he used that thing I'm essentially fucked!
Y: NOOOOO!
Stroheim: Kars… you utter imbecile… don't think you've beaten me yet.
DER MENSCH! IST BOSE.
"Stroheim's not done!" Blake said. "He has to have something!" Weiss said.
Stroheim looked up with a glare, the machinery on his eye flipping upwards. Suddenly, his eye split, revealing it to have been mechanical like his torso and arms, with some kind of laser hidden within it. Kars took a step back in shock, and Stroheim pushed himself up with a cry. "Now what's that gonna do?" Yang asked silently.
Stroheim: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU? GERMAN SCIENCE, IS THE BEST!
From where he stood, Joseph couldn't see the laser, and simply assumed Stroheim was boasting for no reason.
Joseph: Stroheim, you absolute retard! This is not the time to boast about German Science!
The laser in his eye jutted out, charging up.
The team were at the edge of their seats, anticipating the attack. Kars snarled, not knowing what might happen, but ready for whatever it was.
Stroheim: UV LASER, ACTIVATE!
There was a blue glow, before a beam of concentrated Ultra Violet light blasted through Kars' hand and his cheek. "Wait, that was it?" Yang asked.
Joseph gasped as Kars took a step back in pain, while the Red Stone flew through the air.
It hit the snow with a 'thump,' before it began sliding down the hill they stood on. "Oh, oh, oh!" Ruby yelled.
Joseph: H-Hey, it's sliding down the slope!
Storheim looked over, and his eyes widened. At the end of the slope was… the cliff!
Stroheim: Damn it! The stone is sliding towards the cliff!
B: Oh boy.
Kars grit his teeth as the hole in his hand heard, with the one in his cheek taking a moment extra. Back at the house, Lisa Lisa, Caesar, and Messina had finally reached the room the fight had started in. Caesar investigates the hole in the wall, grabbing it.
Y: A bit too late for the action, yeah?
W: They could have ganged up on Kars if they were a bit quicker!
B: That is if they can fight his Light Mode.
Caesar: W-What the…?
Caesar finally spotted the trio in the distance and quickly pointed them out.
Caesar: There! It's Kars and JoJo!
Back with the original trio, Kars leaped forward and began sprinting after the Stone. Stroheim struggled to move, before shouting at Joseph.
Stroheim: JOJO. GO AFTER THE STONE, IF THAT SCUM GETS TO IT WE ARE ALL SCREWED!
Joseph ran forward, trying his best not to slip on the snow. To his right he saw Kars also sprinting, and winced.
Y: Wait, why is Joseph suddenly in front of Kars, didn't Kars got a headstart?
R: Silly Yang. You do realize that Joseph had mastery over THE JOESTAR SECRET TECHNIQUE.
Joseph: This freak... He's moving so fast! He plans to grab the stone and fall off the cliff! He won't stop for the edge! Damn! That cliff is hundreds of meters high! Kars wouldn't even break a toe, but it'd be certain death for me!
Kars began slowly passing him, solely focused on the stone while Joseph began slowing down. Stroheim watched, angry at his inability to do anything.
W: I don't understand. Why can't Kars just slice his leg off or something?
B: Yeah, he could take his time to find it without worrying about JoJo.
Storheim: He's caught up! JoJo plans to slow down at the edge! But not Kars! Jojo can't win!
Joseph: I won't let this twat have the stone!
Stroheim: RUN HARD, JOJO!
"RUN HAAARD, GIOOO GIOOO!" Ruby chuckled, mimicking Stroheim's accent.
Kars looked back with a smirk, not winded at all.
Kars: JoJo, when I reach down to grab the stone, I'll be vulnerable. You'll kick me then, won't you? You'll attack me with Hamon, even if the stone falls. Will that work, JoJo?
Joseph winced, trying to think up a way through the situation. Caesar and the others finally got close enough to see what was going on, but not close enough to help stop Kars.
Caesar: JoJo… He's…
Y: Caesar could just... Shoot Kars with his bubble launcher, right?
B: if only it was that easy...
Kars suddenly dove forward, grabbing for the stone, while Joseph himself leaped into the air and brought his leg down.
Joseph: Here's that kick you ordered!
Kars suddenly leaped over Joseph's leg, having grabbed the stone by its chain with his own legs.
Stroheim: HWOAAAAAAUUGHHHH! (I died at this part)
R: *wheeze*
W: Oh my gosh! That scream! These voices!
Y: FOOL! GERMAN THROATS ARE THE FUCKING BEST!
Kars grinned maliciously down at Joseph, Who simply smirked back.
Joseph: What's with that arrogant grin? I'm the one who should smile. I expected as much, a trick like that was really not good enough! My kick was aimed at the snow, to use it as a brake!
Caesar: TELL HIM TO EAT SHIT, JOJO!
As his leg dug into the ground and anchored him in place, a large chunk of snow slammed into Kars' face, disorienting him long enough for Joseph to grab the Stone from his leg.
Joseph: EAT SHIT ASSHOLE! FALL OFF THIS CLIFF!
However, before he could float for too long, a second bone blade erupted from Kars' calf and dug into Joseph's shoulder. Thankfully, Kars had been far enough away that it didn't dig in deep enough to be dangerous, but it still hurt. He was swtifly dragged down into the ravine with Kars, screaming.
Joseph: What the fuck?! A blade from the foot?!
Stroheim: JOJOOOOOOOOOOOO!
R: Ahaha! He's so darn loud!
Y: He is! Holy shit!
B: My ears hurt!
As the two of them fell, Caesar, Lisa Lisa, and Messina reached the edge of the cliff alongside Stroheim.
Caesar, Lisa Lisa, and Messina: JOJO!
Stroheim: He's... Falling!
Back with Joseph, he cried out as the blade began melting the small amount of flesh that it was touching in his shoulder, like Santana had attempted to do with him back in Mexico.
Joseph: T-That blade! Kars' blade is melding with my body! Gyagh! Son of a bitch!
Narrator: it's 175 meters to the bottom! Five seconds until impact!
Y: WOAH SHIT!
R: He better come up with something and quick!
W: I guess we'll see what he can pull off this time!
Joseph: Falling with this guy? No thanks! Clinging Hamon!
He reached out and managed to wrap his hand around an icicle hanging down, and pulsed Hamon through his hand and it. Due to the icicle simply being frozen water, as well as the fact that a few drops of water were sliding down it, he was able to easily stick to it without slipping. They both hung there for a brief moment, with Joseph wincing.
B: I guess that makes sense?
W: Has it already been 5 seconds?
Joseph: Gah! S-So… heavy! Howmuch do you weigh?!
Kars: About 91 kilo- That stone will be mine!
Joseph: There it is… it's that tenacity that scares me the most! I'm best at exploiting negligence… so a tenacious foe is the worst! It's the opposite of negligence!
Kars: it will be mine!
*DING DONG*
"UGHH! The pizza is here!" Weiss groaned. "Pause it!" Blake said.
"What- why?!" Yang asked. "It's gonna be Dio!" Blake whispered. "Well he can go fuck himse-" Ruby grabbed the remote and paused it in excitement.
As Weiss opened the door, it was unfortunately, not the person they were looking for. Just some ordinary guy.
"Hmm... Do you work with a guy named Dio?" Weiss asked the pizza guy as she grabbed some cash from her wallet. "Dio... Oh! You mean the almighty emperor and rightful ruler of the world?" he asked as he grabbed the payment.
The team glanced at eachother. "Yeah..."
"He's so charming-" Weiss shuts the door and brought the pizza to the table.
Play.
Kars suddenly attempted to reach upwards, causing Joseph to instinctively try and lean away from him. The pressure was too much for the icicle, and it quickly broke in half. As they began falling again, Joseph saw a small outcropping with more icicles hanging from beneath it.
Joseph: More icicles! I have to get this blade out first…wait! I can just send Hamon through the blade! Take this, Kars!
Kars: Just as I thought…
Joseph quickly stopped, looking at Kars in shock as he smirked at him.
Blake grabbed a slice of pizza "That can't be good."
Kars: I knew you'd try and use my blade to counterattack. In that case… into the cliff with you!
He suddenly kicked out while dislodging his blade from Joseph's shoulder, sending Joseph flying at the cliff wall they were falling past. Joseph slammed into it, grunting in pain, and causing several of the icicles above them to fall, the team gasped. Kars' blade began glowing, and Joseph cringed in fear.
Y: OH NO!
R: AAAAAAAAAAA- *chomps on a slice*
Kars: And then…!
Joseph: Aghh! You can't slice me I'm not a goddamn pizza!
Caesar: He's waiting for Joseph to rebound! JoJo won't be able to dodge!
Kars: I'll slice you in half and pick the stone up at the bottom!
RWBY: NoooOOOOOOOooooo!
Kars sliced forward, but before Joseph was cut in two, he held the Red Stone Of Aja directly in the bone blade's path. Kars' eyes widened in fear, and he quickly retracted his blade while Joseph smirked. "Y-Yes! The stone!" Weiss cheered.
"Quick thinking as always!" Ruby complimented.
B: Wait, why can't he just slice him somewhere else without hitting the stone? I doubt Joseph can react faster than Kars, Kars parried all of Stroheim's-
Y: Shut up! Blake! Stop hoping for something that will kill JoJo! We already lost 1 beautiful big boy, we don't wanna lose another!
Kars: You-!
Joseph: Y-You wouldn't cut this, would you, you fucker? You won't chop the stone in half along with me! I can use your tenacity as a defensive measure! Hamon kick! Take this, Kars!
Joseph's theme, Overdrive, kicked in as Joseph attacked, booting Kars away from him and towards the opposite wall. As Kars flew away, Joseph reached up and grabbed a falling Icicle, pulsing Hamon through it so it wouldn't slip. He then knocked the icicle into another one, causing them to both stick together Dusto Hamon. He continued to make an icicle rope that reached further and further up.
"AWESOME!" Yang and Ruby roared. Blake smiled and Weiss had her mouth wide open.
Kars: He's making a rope?! But the icicles are falling with us! They'll never reach the top!
As soon as he said this, another rope of icicles suddenly connected with Joseph's, completing the chain.
Caesar: in that case, I'll lend a hand!
R and Y began applauding, Weiss slowly clapped her hands. "Very nice, Caesar." Blake complimented.
At the edge of the cliff, Caesar had his own rope of icicles, and was grinning down into the ravine. Kars watched in shock as he fell further and further away from Joseph and the Red Stone, while Joseph just grinned down at him. When Kars had disappeared into the darkness of the ravine, Joseph looked back up.
Caesar: Nice timing, eh, JoJo?
Stroheim: Since when do you two work so well together?
Caesar: Well, an icicle rope was some bullshit only JoJo could come up with, it's predictable.
Joseph: And you managed to follow along, it means you can come up with bullshit just as good as me.
Caesar's eyes widened when he realized that he HAD just been thinking like Joseph. RWBY laughed out loud at the look on his face, it was priceless.
Caesar: W-What?!
Joseph: Niceu, niceu! VERRRRRY NICEU, CAESAR-CHAN! Now, if Lisa Lisa is up there, give her a message! The Stone is safe! I kept it from him!
R: Awww! They're like bffs now!
B: Probably what Jonathan and Dio would be if Dio wasn't such a scumbag.
W: You mean the almighty emperor and rightful ruler of the- oh great, that guy had me saying it too.
Lisa Lisa: That was close! Pull him on up, Caesar.
Messina: Now, my German friend… your body is even more durable than theirs are. If you stop with the snobbery, we can work together.
Stroheim: RIGHT. WE GERMANS ARE THE BEST WHEN IT COMES TO COOPERATING, WHICH IS WHY WE ARE SO POWERFUL!
Back in the ravine, Kars was free falling towards the rocky bottom. As he fell, he spotted two small flowers that had managed to bloom despite the harsh cold and lack of soil. "What's this had to-" Ruby was cut off. He narrowed his eyes, and to make sure he didn't destroy the natural beauty of the world, slammed his hand into the cliff next to him. This sent him zipping back and forth as he crashed against both sides of the cliff again and again, until he slammed down into the snow. "What?" the team asked in unison, why would this guy do such a thing? He basically showed Esidisi level of weirdness.
He slowly got up, dusting himself off, before looking down to make sure the flowers were alright.
Y: That was... Oddly nice of him.
R: Really weird though. I guess he is okay with killing humans but not fauna or flora.
B: Sets him apart from Dio, basically.
After seeing that they were, he stared back up the cliff side, but was unable to see Joseph. He stood calmly for a moment, staring at nothing, before suddenly exploding into insane laughter.
"HOLY FUCKING HELL! That scared me!" Yang jumped up in shock. Ruby and Weiss glanced at eachother with weirded out expression while Blake was trying to think if Kars had gone insane from bouncing around the cliff wall on his head.
B: Concussion maybe? He hit his head and bounced off so...
Y: Ughh... Stop.
After calming down, with a few chuckles here and there, he stared back upwards, now deadly serious.
Kars: JoJo, you're a lucky one. I'll let you hold the stone for me, another day.
With that, he walked off into the darkness.
Y: Ughh, what a weirdo.
The next scene that appeared showed a snowy mountain range and a small town, with the words 'five days until the remaining ring dissolves,' overhead, reminding the team that Joseph needs to get his shit together for Wamuu. The group was relaxing on the balcony of a small diner, JoJo was eating food, while the rest of the group was watching over something far in the distance with a pair of binocular.
Joseph: So, this is Switzerland's famous Saint Moritz. A winter sports hub often called 'sun valley'. Chic, relaxed, and sophisticated. A resort the wealthy visit on the holidays. Even the cats look like they're owned by actresses!
R: It's kinda convinient that Joseph narrates the background of the place, it must be weird for the characters in the show because he is just talking to himself.
W: You only noticed that now? Dio and Jonathan did it quite alot.
Joseph eyed a white cat that was strutting along the railing of the balcony, and tossed a small piece of shrimp near it. It looked down curiously, before turning up its nose. Joseph raised an eyebrow at it.
Joseph: Fussy little thing, not even a glance for shrimp. This little princess doesn't know a thing about the real world. Well then… would this smoked salmon suit your palate?
The cat immediately hopped down and padded over to his chair.
Blake raised an eyebrow, curious to what Joseph was planning.
They all said in unison "What is he doing?"
Joseph: Now, now! I've found your preference. Reach, reach!
He began teasing the cat, lowering his fork, but then pulling it up just before the cat could grab the salmon.
Joseph: just a bit more! Stretch up a bit more! Gotcha!
He suddenly swept the cats legs out from under it, causing it to yowl and fall onto its butt.
"What an asshole!" Yang exclaimed. Weiss and Ruby glanced at the faunus to which Blake simply raised a eyebrow. "I was expecting you to be offended." Weiss mentioned. "I kinda saw that one coming." the raven haired faunus shrugged.
It hissed and ran away while Joseph chuckled.
He turned back to his plate, and grew melancholy.
Joseph: No, no. That was mean of me. It's just because I'm on edge. Five days till the ring dissolves… Kars is serious about killing me. I can feel the threats closing in. I have to relax. I'm the one always saying you can't mope about stuff.
R: But you didn't have to do that... Poor kitty.
Lisa Lisa: JoJo, what are you doing? Come here and look!
Joseph: yes ma'am! Be right there!
Caesar narrowed his eyes as he looked at a building far in the distance, clenching his fists. The team took note of this. A rather bad feeling crawling up to Yang's gut.
Lisa Lisa: that building is the address that Esidisi put on the package.
Messina: looks like an old, closed down hotel. A perfect hideout for Kars during the day. The windows are boarded up. No sunlight in there.
Ruby clasped her hands in excitement "Yang! Are you excited? Joseph's gonna be divorced!"
Yang observed the expression on Caesar's face, he was gritting his teeth as he spitefully glared at the building Messina was talking about. Blake and Weiss grew silent, much to Ruby's confusion.
However, after realizing what her little sister said, her face lit up "HELL YEAH."