Y: This is just awesome-
N: JOJOOOOOO! AAAAAAAGGHHHHHHH!
They heard Nora's screams through the walls, they had a moment of silence, they know JNPR was watching Jonathan's death scene.
J: WHYYYYY?! AAAAAAGHHHAAA!
R2: D-Dio... You...
They heard Pyrrha sob and whimper. It was a sad day for them. "Heh. Wait til they get to Caesar." Yang whispered. "I wanna know the song that played!" Ruby exclaimed. "The opera? But it's not even in English." Blake said. "You don't need to understand the lyrics to know what good music is." Weiss defends.
The show returned with a flute playing as Lisa Lisa, Joseph, Wamuu, and Kars glared at each other. The vampires overhead looked down on them and chuckled to themselves as Kars stepped forward.
Kars: We need a proper turn and place for our battle. Wamuu, your thoughts?
Wamuu: We fight tonight, under the full moon!
Y: Geez, Wamuu is excited about this.
R: Haha... That's kinda cute how a big guy like him gets excited like a kid.
Wamuu: The place will be at the door of Piz Berlina, 15 kilometers southeast of here. We meet at the Skeleton's Heel stone circle. Many warriors found death or glory in that place.
As Wamuu spoke, images of the place he spoke of appeared, a place between mountains with multiple shattered stone archways and a coliseum. As he spoke of the warriors finding death and glory, a picture flashback showed two warriors riding in chariots and swinging a sword and lance at each other. RWBY glanced at eachother. "I am not too sure about this." Weiss mumbled. "Why does Wamuu get to pick how they fight?" Blake asked.
Lisa Lisa: A Stone circle?
Joseph: Hey, you can't just pick a place that suits your fancy! Can't we just fight like normal people?
Kars ignored him, turning to Wamuu.
Kars: Wamuu, I think that's a fine choice. It's been awhile since I faced a worthy adversary, so in the end, I can't refuse. Might as well make things interesting. Now, about the stone. JoJo! Bring the Stone to the Skeleton's Heel at midnight tonight. And be sure to remove the bomb.
Joseph: What bomb- oh I mean, yeah.
Kars: The woman stays here as insurance.
Wamuu closed his eyes and smiled.
Wamuu: Fine decision, my lord. Seeing as Joseph already had the ring, he might flee if we don't have someone hostage.
Joseph: HEY. You're not the only one with warrior spirit here, Wamuu! Remember what I said! I will kick your ass for Caesar!
Wamuu: And I will punt yours for Lord Esidisi.
Y: A grudge match!
R: JoJo better win this one!
B: Caesar...
Weiss simply glared at the screen.
Kars walked away from them, vanishing in a flash of light, and Wamuu followed, using his wind-bending trick to disappear after having a stare-off with Joseph. Joseph turned to Lisa Lisa, who stared forward resolutely.
Joseph: Lisa Lisa!
Lisa Lisa: They don't want us to run. It's a reasonable request. Go and fetch the Stone. Don't worry about me.
Joseph: Right. I'll see you at the arena. Trust me.
Lisa Lisa: I do. You are my s... Student, after all.
"Hell yeah! It's on!" Yang loudly clapped. "The final battle between the master of the wind against the descendant of the proud Joestar bloodline." Weiss followed up.
The scene shifted back to the stone that had crushed Caesar, showing a view from the central staircase. Joseph walked into view, looking down at the rock, muttering to himself as piano started.
Another moment of silence for the team.
Joseph: Caesar…
He clenched his hands and grit his teeth.
Joseph: I'm sorry...
The view cut to the outside, with Joseph trudging through snow and carrying Messina on his back. RWBY were still silent, they wanted to hear him out.
Joseph: Until yesterday, I lived only thinking of myself, or my family. But a new feeling burns inside me now.
He held a hand out, looking at it and watching as snow drifted down and melted in his gloved palm.
Joseph: Is this compassion?
He clenched his hand and squeezed his eyes closed.
Joseph: Damnit! I just want to wreck those bastards! And I'll do it for Caesar, Messina, Lisa Lisa and the rest! I'll fight for you all, if it's the last thing I'd do!
Yang began to chuckle. "What?" her sister asked. "I just can't take it seriously since Messina's unconcious face was just too funny."
The rest of the team observed Messina looking like a passed out frat boy and started snickering.
Back at their room, he opened a suitcase to reveal the Red Stone sitting on some clothing, with no bomb anywhere.
R: Man, Lisa Lisa is a great bluffer.
W: She is so professional.
B: I really like her character. It's not often you see strong female deuteragonists on shows...
Y: I would pay handsomely to see her and Miss Goodwitch fight.
...
JNPR's Crying Adventure: Phantom Feels.
J: Augh... Ren pass me the tissue box.
P: G-Guys, I noticed something.
Erina emerged from the coffin, holding the baby she saved.
N: What is it Pyrrha?
P: Remember when Mr. Zeppeli gave JoJo a glass of wine and told him that he must protect it whilst battling Jack the Ripper?
N: Y-Yeah?
P: JoJo dropped a glass of wine when he saw Wang Chan on the ship...
Ren rubbed his eyes furiously "Stop, it's so poetically beautiful I can't contain myself."
...
Joseph: As I thought, there's no bomb at all. Lisa Lisa, you're deceptive, even under pressure!
He looked down with a smile, that transformed into a cheeky smirk as he giggled and began tossing clothes out of the suitcase. "Hey, you're making a fuss!" Weiss whined.
Joseph: Now, maybe I should bring you a change of panties, hmm?
R: Oh brother...
More piano suddenly started as a book hit the floor, and a picture was revealed. It was of what looked to be an older woman, who Joseph quickly recognized.
RWBY: WAIT IS THAT-
Joseph: Eh? What are those pictures? Wait… it's granny Erina! Why would Lisa Lisa have this?
He picked up the book, and found another photo. In it, a young Erina in a chair while a young Speedwagon and Straizo stood behind her, with Straizo holding a baby. RWBY raised an eyebrow, why would she have this picture?
R: Straizo is there too. I understand Speedwagon, but why him?
W: Well, Dire died and Tonpetty probably passed away.
B: Weird... So weird.
Y: You mean bizarre?
Z: BARK.
Joseph: Who are these people? Here's Straizo... Wait... I recognize that handsome scar somewhere!
R: IT'S SPEEDWAGON, JOSEPH.
He spotted a date in the upper corner, reading May 22, 1889.
Joseph: It's 50 years old! This young man is Speedwagon! Granny Erina! And Straizo is holding a baby! Lisa Lisa… I know nothing about her life or her past. Why does she have these photos?
Ruby paused the show. "Any thoughts?"
The rest of the team pondered and thought about it deeply. Until Blake snapped her fingers "The baby!"
Yang raised an eyebrow "Are you trying to mimic Baron Zeppeli? It's not THE baby, it's *snap* HEY baby!"
"No, not that, I was talking about the baby from the ship!" Blake said. "The one Jonathan told Erina to rescue?" Weiss replied, catching on. "Now that you mentioned it, it looks like her!" Ruby looked closer at the screen.
"Then... Lisa Lisa must know Erina's son in some way." Yang said.
"Only one way to find out!" Ruby clicked play.
The scene changed once again, to the Skeleton's Heel, where the muscular and half naked forms of Kars and Wamuu looked over the arena, while the moon sat high in the sky. Joseph approaches with his scarf fluttering in the wind, and held the Red Stone high, causing it to shimmer with an internal light. RWBY remained silent at the intense scene.
The Pillar Men looked down at Joseph, with Wamuu giving Joseph a small smirk. Joseph lit a match and held it close to the stone, causing it to shoot a beam of ruby red light high into the sky, proving its authenticity.
Kars: It's the real thing. We accept your bargain. We'll fight you one-on-one!
Joseph and Lisa Lisa nodded at each other, before approaching.
RWBY said nothing, awaiting the interaction between the two.
Joseph held out the stone and let it pool into Lisa Lisa's hand, but before she could retract her arm, he stopped her by showing her the book. She was silent for a moment, before taking the book and looking up at Joseph's serious face.
Lisa Lisa: You saw the photos. That means you want to talk, right? Actually I had planned to talk to you.
Joseph: Just who the hell are you?
A flashback began, showing a ship sailing through a stormy sea. It then began playing the scenes from Phantom Blood, Erina holding onto Jonathon as he smiled up at her. The scene continued with Jonathon shielding her from harm, before he was consumed by flames as she watched.
RW: JONATHAAAAAAAAAN!
B: Shut it you two!
Y: That was a very painful flashback...
B: I can't say I disagree with you there...
Lisa Lisa: Fifty years ago… Erina lost her husband, Jonathon Joestar on a ship on the pacific. He was your grandfather. That day, your grandmother saved a baby girl's life. That was me. The baby in that picture is me.
R: Wait so she's his mom or..?
W: A family friend.
B: A cousin.
Y: A housekeeper. Or maybe Straizo adopted her, hell if I know.
Joseph: H-Hang on now. That was 50 years ago! If you were a baby 50 years ago…
He began counting on his fingers, clear confusion showing on his face.
Joseph: H-Hey, how old are you, anyway?!
Lisa Lisa: ...
Joseph: 50?! I-I-If you're 50, that means…
RWBY gulped. Joseph must have realized something life changing, knowing that she knows alot about Joseph's mysterious grandfather and things Granny Erina kept from him.
Joseph: YOU'RE OLD!
Ruby and Yang started laughing their asses off, Weiss simply face planted on the floor without changing her dumbfounded expression while Blake repeatedly bangs her head on the couch arm.
Comedic music began playing as Joseph audibly swallowed, probably thinking about how he peeped on a fifty year old woman. He closed in as Lisa Lisa stared straight ahead, not reacting to his derailing train of thought. Arrows came from his eyes pointing towards where he was looking, her face, her neck, all while the Pillar Men were probably standing in the background placing bets on how much longer this would go on.
Joseph: Right? Normally…. Y-You look like you're in your late 20s.
He began circling around her, pointing at her.
Y: Ahahaha... Oh man, Joseph, you clown!
R: I have to say, her hamon was impressive!
Joseph: They say Hamon energy is life energy and keeps you young. But I guess you don't behave like a young woman should at all.
He grinned and popped up next to her, pointing at her glasses.
Joseph: I think I see a wrinkle behind those shades!
Y: Pffft- HAHAHAHA!
B: Don't forget that you peeped on her! a 50 year old woman!
Y: HAHAHA... Oh right... Fuck!
She finally reacted, simply tilting her head and giving off a menacing aura, causing him to sweat and step back.
Joseph: Just kidding.
Finally, Kars turned and raised an arm high.
Kars: Now, prepare the arena!
Vampire: Light the fires!
Two vampires threw a pair of torches into the center of the arena, creating a massive blaze that shone light on the arena itself and the stands.
Lisa Lisa: There's no time to talk now. But we do need to. My roots are connected to yours.
R: I KNEW IT, SHE WAS HIS MOM.
B: SO HE PEEPED OM HIS OWN MOM?!
Y: SOMEHOW I FEEL LESS BAD, AHAHAHA-
W: We need to hear more!
Joseph: Roots?
Lisa Lisa: The mask killed my parents. Since Erina was pregnant when she rescued me… I was raised by Straizo.
Joseph: A-Are you serious? By Straizo?
W: So Joseph killed her adoptive father.
Lisa Lisa: Straizo taught me about Hamon. Straizo gave me the Red Stone.
Joseph: So S-Straizo is your foster Father!
Lisa Lisa: It is tragic that the fear of aging drove him to such madness. My feelings about you defeating him are complicated. But I feel it was destiny.
She held out the book, and Joseph thought to himself as he looked down at it.
Joseph, thinking: What can I say? I-It is very complicated. What a bizarre relationship. Lisa Lisa carries a past full of sadness.
Y: Hahaha... My sides hurt..!
W: Wait, is that it?
There was a rumbling like thunder and the ground began shaking, causing both Joseph and Lisa Lisa to turn towards the source.
B: I feel like she have more to say.
Lisa Lisa: JoJo, we're out of time.
B: Well darn.
Joseph: W-What's with the rumbling?!
W: What is going on?!
R: Ahh..!
The vampires all gasped, and Kars and Wamuu watched calmly as a dust cloud in the distance slowly closed in.
Kars: They're here. Now the battle can begin.
RWBY: The what?! THE WHAT?!
The vampires cheered, and the rumbling became louder as Lisa Lisa gasped.
Lisa Lisa: T-They're—
RWBY: THEY'RE..?
Vampires were tossed aside like dolls, as two chariots pulled by four massive black horses with incredibly sharp teeth trampled their way through the hordes.
Y: What the actual fuck?!
R: Are those what I think those are?!
W: Vampire horses?!
Vampire: Out of the way! I don't care if you get crushed!
Joseph: I-Is that a dinosaur?! N-No, it's a horse!
The horses continued to rampage, and one of the vampires holding the reins whipped them.
Vampire: Lord Kars, Lord Wamuu, please move! They've gone berserk!
Wamuu simply stood up calmly as the horses galloped closer, with the vampire controlling them panicking.
RWBY knew Wamuu wouldn't even get a scratch even if the horses trample him.
Vampire: Lord Wamuu, please!
Wamuu simply stood there, before snapping his eyes open with a grunt, and causing the horses to stop in their tracks. They calmed down, and Wamuu stroked one of their manes.
Kars: We used masks to turn these horses into vampires.
Joseph and RWBY: V-Vampire horses?!
W: A-A-A mask for horses?
B: They're insane.
R: So, are those still herbivores or..?
Kars: In this arena, JoJo will face Wamuu in an ancient-style chariot duel!
The vampires cheered and raised their torches while Joseph looked on.
Joseph and RWBY: A chariot duel?!
Vampire: An ancient Roman death match! You'll ride through the arena while you fight! Lord Wamuu or JoJo? Who will fall or be beaten down while riding? Defeat means death!
Vampire 2: Those are the rules, JoJo! The beasts have 150 horsepower! Even Lord Wamuu can barely control them!
Y: How do you count a horse's horsepower?
Joseph: Now wait a minute! I'll fight you on any field! But vampire horses are your minions, right?!
Kars: Worry not. The reins conduct Hamon. Wamuu will use his strength. You can use Hamon to control them.
W: It's because an ordinary horse won't be able to pull them.
Joseph: I-Is that right? They look vicious! Don't bite, now!
Lisa Lisa grabbed one of the reins while Joseph pokes a horse on the nose, and sent a shock of Hamon through them. The horses reacted to the energy flowing through the reins, and the horse's red eyes dimmed slightly.
Lisa Lisa: I see. A little Hamon does it.
"Atleast it's a fair fight." Ruby mumbled. "It's hardly a fair fight. Remember that Wamuu is much more resilient than a high class Huntsman, much less Joseph!" Weiss exclaimed.
"Hey, come on. I think Jonathan and Joseph are top tier Huntsmen if they tried." Yang said. "Which begs the question, is Hamon effective against Grimms?" Blake pondered.
Vampires: WAMUU! WAMUU! WAMUU! WAMUU!
The team glanced at eachother and nodded.
RWBY: JOJO! JOJO! JOJO!
Joseph and Lisa Lisa watched with guarded expressions while ancient sounding drums began beating, with a touch of electric guitar.
Yang's cheering slowed down as she saw Wamuu's new revealing attire. But she shook her head and continued cheering for her JoJo along with her team.
Kars: Wamuu chose an ancient form for this battle. That means he's serious. He's not doing this for fun, or making sport of it.
Lisa Lisa: Beat him, JoJo. We have to win this. There are no draws!
Joseph: You didn't have to tell me twice.
Joseph steeled his expression and threw his hat aside, before ripping his jacket off to reveal his muscled arms and tossed it far from him.
Yang applauded, her face crimson "WOOOOO! FUCK YEAH!"
Joseph: Wamuu!
The Pillar Man looked up as he approached, holding the lip ring.
Joseph: I haven't taken the antidote yet. I promised Caesar I'd drink it after I kill you! That promise will give me power I need to smite you!
Wamuu: I see. Give it your everything.
He slipped the ring onto his pinky as Wamuu watched. The camera then cut to Caesar's headband held in Joseph's clenched fists.
Joseph: Fight by my side, Caesar!
He wrapped it around his head and pulled it tight in a pose that shows off his large deltoids, strong looking arms and spreading his lats back, the music in the background reaching a crescendo. Yang grinned in hype, admiring his muscles. Ruby squealed in excitement whilst Blake and Weiss gulped, they can't deny that they find Joseph's outfit very attractive.
He vaulted into his chariot, gripping the reins hard and snapping them to make the horses rear back and whinny.
Joseph: Now it's time to take these horses to the old town road!
To be continued!