"NEEEEXT." Yang bellowed with a playful deep voice. Ruby wordlessly pressed the button to play.
The episode began with a recap of the last, showing images of Wamuu's head fading into the wind, and Joseph's salute.
"Rest in peace, Wamuu." Ruby whispered quickly. "RIP." Blake adds. "F." Yang said as she mimicked her husbando's salute. "Rest in peace." Weiss followed up.
Alongside Kars readying himself for battle as the Narrator spoke. "Using Caesar's bandanna, JoJo barely defeated Wamuu."
"That was one of the closest fight in this part, I think." Yang stated. "Hmmm... I don't know, the Santana fight seemed close too." Weiss answered. "Yeah but this is way more intense." Yang continued. "Oh but of course!" Weiss agreed.
Images of the beginning of the battle between the Hamon Instructor and Pillar Man appeared, alongside Stroheim's, Smokey's, and Speedwagon's arrival. "Next, Lisa Lisa faced off against Kars. Von Stroheim and Speedwagon appeared suddenly with help."
"Stroheim and Speedwagon, two of the noisiest character!" Ruby grinned. "Smokey seemed noisy too, he is following their footsteps." Yang adds.
"However," the Narrator continued as the images continued, "in a cowardly turn, Kars used a double to fight! He sprang out and stabbed Lisa Lisa in the back. JoJo and Lisa Lisa are in the greatest peril of their lives!"
Joseph held the rope attached to Lisa Lisa as Kars walked closer to him, roaring in anger. "Kars, you fucking bastard! I hope you rot in hell forever!"
"Yeah! Tell him!" Yang cheered.
Below them, Smokey watched the one-sided battle while sweating and thinking to himself as dramatic chanting and music played, "JoJo doesn't know. He doesn't know that that woman is his own mother!"
Joseph continued to hold the rope, arms shaking all while Kars placed a hand on his hip and chuckled, watching him. "Don't let go, JoJo. It's a forest of crystal spikes below. She'll die instantly!"
"We can see that, Captain Obvious." Blake snarked. "Now he's just taunting him." Ruby pouted.
"K-Kars! Your soul is as rotten as a pumpkin left in a field that even flies won't visit!" What an analogy, Joseph my boy.
"Wait wait wait... What?" Yang asked, before wheezing. "What is he on about?!" Ruby asked as she started laughing. WB started giggling as they realized the ridiculousness of his statement.
"That's what he said to roast Kars? Just stick with hamon, Joseph." Blake smiled as she shook her head. "He is ridiculous, how can he come up with something that silly at a time like this?" The heiress chuckled.
"... Shout at me. Grumble at me. Insult me. While you're holding that rope, that's all you can really do." Kars boasted.
"How can Kars keep a straight face after that?!" Ruby squeaked.
Joseph furrowed his brows at Kars, and the camera panned back to show Lisa Lisa hanging perilously over the spikes below, while Kars' and Joseph's faces became superimposed over the screen, glaring at one another.
Episode 24: The Ties That Bind JoJo
Joseph was struggling as he held the rope, with some blood leaking down it from where it likely rubbed through his gloves and the skin underneath."Oh shit!" He suddenly lurched forward and Lisa Lisa fell slightly before he caught himself. He gasped for breath, and below them, Speedwagon and Smokey watched on in terror, Speedwagon calling up to them. "JoJo! Lisa Lisa!"
"JoJo doesn't realize his mother's life is in his hands!" Smokey screamed.
"LITERALLY." Yang yelled.
The boy turned to Speedwagon, "Mr. Speedwagon, we should tell him!"
"No…"
"Why not?!"
Speedwagon simply gripped his hat, "it's not the time."
"Well... Yeah, I mean it will just put alot of pressure on Joseph if he founds out about it right now." Weiss reasoned. "But won't he get super motivated to save Lisa Lisa if he knows?" Ruby asked.
"I doubt it, Ruby. He might remember the you-know-what." Blake covered her mouth to giggle.
Something exploded off-screen, and Speedwagon turned towards it. "Stroheim, are you done with the Vampires?! We have to help JoJo!"
"AAAAGHHHII!" Stroheim roared back at them as a hoard of vampires sprinted straight towards him, "Give me a break! You think we can get rid of them in just a minute or two?!" The lights upon his shoulders flared, causing several vampires to explode or melt in showers of gore. "Damn, they are occupied at the moment." Yang whistled. "How many vampires are there anyway?" Ruby asked.
More Shoulderlampers did the same, killing more and more, with Stroheim leading them. "OUTTA MY SIIIIIGHT! WOAGH?" He suddenly grimaced as he realized he was surrounded, with Speedwagon commenting "It's no good. They need more time!"
"I can just listen to Stroheim talk for hours and I'd laugh." The blonde chuckled. "Stroheim ASMR, anyone?" the faunus joked.
Smokey turned back to the battle atop the pillar, whispering to himself, "JoJo…"
Kars still hadn't made a move, still watching the grandson of Jonathan. "Careful, the rope will slip if you don't watch it."
"I fucking know, shut up!" Joseph growled and gripped the rope harder from where he was crouching, before leaping up and launching a kick at Kars with a roar "AAAAAAARRRRGGGHHH!". Kars blocked easily, and as his Bone Blade began to glow he smirked. "While you're holding the rope, your hasty feet can only move so far."
"Now that is just stupid!" Weiss said. "I know right? He could have risk the rope getting cut, or his legs for that matter!" Ruby adds.
He then sliced out, sending blood clattering as he cut into Joseph's foot. Lisa Lisa dangled closer to the ground, while Smokey and Speedwagon looked on in a panic. "He kicked Kars, but Hamon didn't flow into him!"
"W-We're in a real fix!" Smokey exclaimed next.
"Looks like your Hamon is running dry," Kars noted.
"I thought hamon was a renewable source for Joseph? All he needs is to control his breath." Ruby asked. "He is getting to exhausted to keep it up." Weiss answered. "That's what she said!" Yang teased.
"Oh quiet, you!"
"You might have enough for one last, all-out, desperate attack." Joseph began winding the rope around one of his hands, while Kars approached him calmly. "JoJo. I'll just walk up to you and take your life like I'm plucking a flower."
Joseph breathed heavily, as Kars walked closer, before spitting off the side of the pillar. "Kars!" He pointed star the pillar man, causing Kars to raise an eyebrow as Joseph smirked.
"Oh, he finally has something." Blake sighed in relief.
"It's true I might have barely enough for one final attack... To be honest, I'm not exactly confident. But even so, I've come up with a plan. It's something to make you choke on your spit! Do you wanna know what it is, hmmm? I won't tell you!" Joseph teased.
"Hey!" Kars pointed at Joseph, scowling. "You're not tying any ropes together! I've had enough of your bullshittery."
"How can Joseph tie a rope though, my baby is holding that rope." Yang pondered.
Instead of doing so, Joseph instead struck a match, lighting it. "This is a match! What do you think I'll do with it? Take a guess!" Kars tilted his head away, but before he can answer, the Joestar screamed "WRONG!"
"But I didn't say anything."
Joseph lowered his hand to the bottom of his scarf, lighting it.
"... Okay?" Ruby raised an eyebrow.
"Wh-What is JoJo up to?" Smokey questioned. "He set his scarf on fire!"
"What's that gonna do?" Weiss asked.
"Oh. I get it. Suicide." Kars crossed his arms for a brief moment but Joseph simply shook his head.
"Before this fire burns me, I'll use all I've got left to send you packing! This fire is a gamble! It's a risk to motivate me! I seek life within death!"
"I mean, there is some truth to that. It's like activating your own fight or flight instinct voluntarily. He might be able to gather up his second wind by doing that." Blake said. "Sort of like how Jonathan gets stronger whenever Erina was involved! The only difference is Joseph is a bit self centered so he has to do that to psyche himself up." Weiss mumbled.
"JoJo. An act like that…" Kars crosses his arms and his blades began to glow before he swiped in an X pattern. "…Is just desperation!" He slashed forward.
"WOO!" Joseph leaped to the side to dodge, before Kars continued his attack, trying to strike his back. Joseph was able to avoid it and landed away from Kars, reversing their positions.
"Yes, he needs to buy some time." Yang whispered.
"Hey! Don't you toy with me," Kars spat. "You're just dodging around in order to catch your breath." He pointed at Joseph, "I'll say it again: I want to kill you at my leisure. I won't play king of the monkeys, you monkey!"
"I guess that's enough... Monkeying around for Joseph." Yang smiled. "UGHHHH..." RWB groaned. "Stop. I bet you're gonna say something about monkey business after this." Blake muttered. "Hey wait how did you know?!" The blonde yelled.
"She did the Joseph thing! Teach me, Master Blake!" Ruby's eyes sparkled.
"C-Come on now, I need to breathe! Who cares if I look silly?" Joseph sheepishly smiled.
"Awww, cute." Yang blushed at the screen.
Kars simply lifted his blade and pressed it against the rope, causing Joseph to grunt in shock. "Listen closely. I can cut Lisa Lisa's rope whenever I please. And if you dodge again, I will!" Joseph just stared, sweating. "Is that all right to you? Should I cut it? You want me to do it? You don't, do you?"
"Don't!" Joseph and RWBY screamed.
Kars' blade was cutting slightly into the rope, "You ran before, tiring me out. Now come to me slowly. If you want me to cut the rope instead of you, then stay where you are."
"THE COWARD! SUCH A VILE BEING! I KNEW IT FROM THE SCENT!" Speedwagon cried.
Joseph glared at him with all his hate, breathing heavily. Causing Kars to cockily smile "Huffing and puffing won't get you anywhere. No matter how you struggle, you will fall before me. Accept the fact that I will make the ripple extinct tonight. A monkey can't stand up against a human. And compared to me... You're just a monkey, JoJo."
The team gasped "... That is terrifying."
"What's your choice? Is your life more precious than this woman's?" The Pillar Man's eyes gleamed with malice.
Joseph growled, clenching the rope between both of his hands… before suddenly leaping backward to let the rope swing him towards Kars with a roar. The rope began twisting as he lunged out with a kick, all while he yelled: "Here's my choice, you dick!"
"I don't know what you're planning, but if I cut this, you'll fall as well! You fool!" Kars sliced, sending both Lisa Lisa and Joseph tumbling towards the spikes below.
"OH YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Yang stood up. "I knew it! He is a cheater!" Weiss angrily yelled.
Smokey looked on in panic, screaming. "JoJo!"
Speedwagon cried out as well. "Lisa Lisa!"
Kars laughed as they fell, the screen showing the two falling into a vortex of purple in slow motion. "Imbecile. That's two birds with one cut." The screen zoomed in on Joseph's eye as he widened it, and Kars gasped. He was pulled to the floor as a rope tied around his ankle, and he cried out in shock.
"HUH?!" RWBY gasped as they witnessed the genius move Joseph did.
"What?! He…! This rope is connected to Joseph!" Weiss exclaimed. "AAAAHHHH I WANT HIS BABIES!" I didn't need to write the person who said that.
Sure enough, the rope that had circled around Kar's leg held up both JoJo and Lisa Lisa as they dangled below.
"Oh my gosh! That was awesome!" Ruby raised her arms in glee. "That's your new brother in law right there, sis!" Yang wrapped an arm around her. Blake was speechless.
"HWOAH?!" Speedwagon and Smokey let out cries of amazement, Kars looked down at his foot in confusion. "When did that imbecile do it?! He didn't have the time!" The pillar man looked up and his eyes widened as he suddenly figured it out.
"That's what he wants you to think!" Blake finally exclaimed.
The scenes flashing on-screen to help explain.
"Ohhh SHIT! They're gonna show us how he did it!" Yang squealed.
"When he first kicked, he let himself be cut along with the rope! While he lit the match, he secretly tied his leg to her rope and made a loop. He needed a distraction. So he set his scarf on fire. And then to turn the ropes together, he let Lisa Lisa be cut down on purpose! That cunning devil!"
"YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHH! SUCK ON THAT, KARS! YOU AIN'T NOTHING AGAINST MY BABY!" Yang jumped up and down in excitement. "Hey, calm down." Weiss quietly scolded, she too, was amazed at that impressive rope trick.
"That sleight of hand... That was amazing..!" The faunus gulped. "Awww and I can't even do the seperating thumb he did when he fought Santana!" Ruby sulked.
"And now you're holding me and Lisa Lisa up! Haha, loser!" Joseph suddenly whipped his scarf forward, wrapping it around Kars' leg and using it to launch himself up.
"WOO!" Yang howled. "Come on, you're being too obnoxious." Blake smiled.
"JoJo, you cheating weenis!" Kars screamed in panic.
"I never thought I'd hear that from you, you dick!" Joseph began glowing with Hamon as he spoke, readying an attack. "It seems you like tricking, but you hate to be tricked! You can't take what you dish out!"
"Right!" Ruby agreed.
The screen zoomed to Joseph's furious face.
"You may have lived for over 10,000 years. But to compete with my skills... YOU NEED ANOTHER DECADE!"
Despite finding Yang's screaming to be obnoxious, they can't help but scream along with her due to that badass boast.
"OH YEAAAAAAAAHHH!"
His entire body burned a bright gold as he finally screamed out the Pillar Man's name. "KAAAAAAARS!"
"WOAAAHHH!" Kars, in a last-ditch effort to defend himself, swiped out with his blade out of panic. Joseph swung as well, with a roar of "Get ready to descend to hell! HAMON... OVERDRIIIIIIIIVE!"
*BANG!*
The team continued to yell out in hype.
He chopped at the blade, causing it to crack and then shatter, flying into the distance.
"He chopped it off! He chopped it-" Ruby calmed down however as the music stopped.
Joseph began to breathe heavily, outlined by a white background as he thought to himself. 'D-Did it work? T-That was the last of my Hamon… I'm burned out. I don't have any Hamon left.'
Opposite him, Kars stood still, staring away. His head suddenly twitched and he began groaning, the ring of Hamon filling the background. His arm suddenly exploded into a shower of blood, with Kars screaming bloody murder.
"IT FUCKING WORKED!" Yang yelled as they all jumped cheering.
Joseph grinned at the sight, sweat dripping down his cheeks. "Hell yeah!"
Speedwagon cheered, "YES!"
Smokey raised his fists with a grin as well, "He did it! He hit Kars with Hamon!"
"AVWAVBWAGAUGHA!" Kars twitched near the edge of the pillar before he finally fell from it. As the rope around his ankle came undone, Joseph sprang forward and grabbed it "Bye bye, you sorry son of a bitch!"
"HOORAY! HE IS FINALLY DEAD!" Ruby cheered.
Lisa Lisa was safe, but Kars continued his fall, impaling himself upon the crystals at the bottom. His face filled the screen as it became shades of red, his eyes dilating in pain as he gasped.
"HOORAY! NOW HE IS DOUBLE DEAD!" Ruby cheered once more.
The two onlookers cheered and Joseph tried to stabilize his breathing as Kars twitched below him. The Pillar Man's head slowly lifted, "Y-You…" before the intermission screen appeared.
"BY GOD, THAT WAS FUCKIN' AWESOME!" Yang screamed. It definitely got her blood pumping. "I'm just relieved that it's all over." Weiss sighed. "Don't you lie, Weiss! You were screaming earlier as well!" Ruby teased. "Shut it, dolt! Everyone is! I don't wanna feel left out!" The heiress countered. "Just be honest with yourself." Blake smiled.
()()
The show resumed with a shot of a pillar, and Stroheim screaming, as per usual. "OH HO! LOOK! KARS FELL ON THE FUCKING CRYSTAL SPIKES! WAHA-HAHAHAHA!" He began laughing his majestic laugh, "YOU'RE FINISHED! See? HAMON IS TRAVELLING UP YOUR ARM! YOU'RE WEAK! YOUR TIME HAS COME! EVEN WE CAN FINISH YOU OFF RIGHT NOW AND THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO!"
"Well, just for that screaming alone, they deserve to give him the final blow." Yang crossed her arms. "More importantly, is Lisa Lisa okay?" Blake wondered.
Kars' eyes suddenly glowed red, before his body suddenly exploded into the air, jumpscaring everyone.
"WOAH!" RWBY gasped.
"OAGHAhA?!" Stroheim and the shoulderlampers screamed.
Kars unceremoniously slammed back into the ground, his arm still glowing and steaming with Hamon.
It was quiet before Yang started wheezing "HAH... Ahahahaha! You girls hear his scream?!" Yang slapped her knee. The rest soon followed laughing.
"Ohh… He's trying to spook us. Making us look like fools... All right let's eliminate him for good! Bring out the UV amplifier!" Stroheim ordered.
"Yes, sir!"
The best part about writing this is writinf Stroheim's lines in all caps because I can hear his sub voice saying the lines, or rather shouting the lines.
Stay safe everyone and I hope you enjoyed!