"I propose that we watch another episode!" Joseph screamed. "Shut up." Jotaro grumbled.
"Err.. Well, if that's what you'd like, there's not much to do today, anyways." Jonathan shrugged.
"You should stop letting him do what he wants all the time, it's going to make him do stupid shit when he grows up." Jotaro said, glancing at Josuke.
"Says the edgy tough guy wannabe." Joseph rebutted.
"The hell did you say?!" His grandson angrily snarled. "Try me, punk!"
"Okay! Stop! Calm down! We'll watch the show. Jotaro, feel free to leave if you don't want to." Jonathan said.
"Tch. I'll stay just to spite him." Jotaro sat down the couch.
"Hmm. I like you." Dio closed the book he was reading. "The feeling is not mutual, fuck off." The delinquent huffed.
"I'lL sTaY JuSt tO sPiTe HiM. So childish. Pfft." Joseph childishly mocked before sitting at the opposite end. Jotaro just sighed and facepalmed, he can't believe how hypocritical it was.
They heard screaming from below.
"YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHH! SUCK ON THAT, KARS! YOU AIN'T NOTHING AGAINST MY BABY!" A particular blonde bombshell screamed.
The four of them glanced at eachother. "Wait, I think I just heard Kars' name." Joseph said. "Kars, who?" Jonathan asked. "Oh nevermind gramps, that guy sucks." Joseph brushed off.
Jonathan sets up the television "Oh please, I'm sure he is a splendid gentleman."
"Uhh, no. He really isn't." His grandson said. "You think Dio is a splendid person, I'd say your standards are too low, old man." Jotaro said.
"Silence, fool." Dio snarled. "What, are you saying I am incapable of hating someone?" Jonathan turned to ask innocently. "I think? You seemed passive most of the time." His descendant mention.
"Haha. If only you knew." Dio whispered to himself. "That's not true! Dio once destroyed my homework and... And I gave him the silent treatment for like... 2 weeks!" The gentleman stuttered. The door opened.
"What's up, dudes." Josuke greeted as Giorno closed the door behind them. "Where did you went?" Joseph asked. "Just in time for RWBY." Jonathan cheered as he sat back with the remote.
"We got our hair done. See?" Josuke posed, showing off his hair that was freshly sprayed with hair spray.
'What a peculiar hair.' Dio puts his hands on his chin 'I, Dio, am pretty sure you can't get a tumor in your hair. Now that I think about it, Giorno's hair seemed bizarre as well. Is this a thing of the future?'
Giorno sat next to his blond father while Josuke sat besides his nephew.
The opening starts to a character's eyes wearily opening and closing before waking up fully and seeing Nora Valkyrie fill their view.
"Oh hey, Giorno! I guess they do have a ginger chick!" Josuke beamed. "Ah, fascinating." Giorno replied.
Nora: Wake up, lazy butt! (dashes to the side)
"BY GOD, THAT WAS FUCKIN' AWESOME!" Yang screamed from below.
"GODDAMNIT! NOISY ASS! UGH!" Joseph threw a pillow to the floor.
Lie Ren gets up with a groan as Nora hounds him.
"I haven't seen such an effeminate looking man. What a disgrace." Dio spat. Giorno rolled his eyes.
"Huh, come to think of it, I noticed that Straizo was a bit too pretty for a male." Jonathan pondered. "Who? The one who destroyed my chandelier?" Dio asked.
"Exactly."
"Man, you're gonna hate what he's gonna do in the distant future, gramps." Joseph sadly muttered.
Nora: (singing) It's morning! It's morning! It's morning! It's morning!
"Oh my fucking God, another one of those annoying types." Jotaro groaned.
Lie Ren sighs again and the scene changes to him brushing his teeth in the restroom while Nora continues to talk.
Nora: I can't believe we've been at Beacon for a full twenty-four hours! Not that I thought we'd get kicked out or anything, I mean, you're the perfect student and I'm...
"Annoying?" Jotaro finished. "Take it easy on her. She's just bubbly!" Jonathan smiled. "Yes, annoying. Exactly." Jotaro replied.
Nora: Well, I'm me! But it's just crazy, you know?
The scene changes to the ballroom, where the two are readying themselves. Nora is brushing her hair and still chattering while Ren is tightening the strings on his sleeping bag.
Nora: We've been friends for soooooooo long! What are the odds we'd still be together? Well, not "together-together..." Not that I'm not saying that you're not handsome; you are handsome, but that'd just be weird, right?
"I am calling it, these two are going to be together." Dio crossed his arms. "Yeah, its a bit too cliche." Giorno agreed. "Aw man, I wish I had a childhood friend..." Josuke sulked.
The scene changes again as the two are in the middle of eating their breakfast, Nora having a pancake hanging from her mouth as she is still talking.
Jonathan grimaced at her poor table manners. "See? Annoying." Jotaro said.
Nora: (muffled through her food) Right! What was I thinking? But still, I hope we end up on the same team together! (slurps up the rest of her pancake) Oohhhh! We should come up with some sort of plan, to make sure we end up on the same team together! What if we bribe the headmaster? No, that won't work. He has the school.
"Haha! Father would destroy that woman for being that much of a glutton. Oi, JoJo! Don't act so high and mighty, you used to eat alot like a dog!" Dio mocked him.. "Q-Quiet! Don't you dare forget that you killed my dog!" Jonathan snapped.
"He did? Sheesh, what a dick." Joseph adds.
The scene changes again as the two are readying themselves in the locker room, Ren loading StormFlower and Nora still talking.
"I mean, she is kinda cute. Whaddya think, Giorno? She seems neat for you." Joseph teased. "Not interested." The blond replied sternly. "What are you, gay or something? She's cheerful, has a cute face and most of all, mmmmm look at that chest." Joseph giggled maniacally. "Yeah I agree with dad, you kept asking about a ginger girl and now here she is." Josuke lamented. "That doesn't mean I- I only asked about it once!" Giorno snapped. "Hey, leave him alone, gentlemen." Jonathan defended his son.
Giorno smiled at him but before he can thank him, the man continued "It's pretty clear that Giorno prefers Ruby."
"NO."
"SHUT UP, I'M TRYING TO WATCH!" Jotaro scolds.
Nora: I know! We'll have some sort of signal! Like a distress signal! (gasps) A secret signal so we can find each other in the forest! Can you imitate a sloth?
Ren: (finally replying) Nora?
Nora: Yes, Ren?
Ren: (sheathing his weapons in his sleeves) I don't think sloths make a lot of noise.
"Huh. Now that they mentioned it, what do noises those animals make." Giorno wondered to himself.
Nora: (thinks about this for a moment) That's why it's perfect! No one will suspect we're working together!
"Fuck, I thought she finally decided to shut up." Jotaro facepalmed.
Ren: (smiling and shutting his locker) Come on Nora, let's go.
Nora: Not "together-together..." (giggles)
Ren heads out while a skipping Nora follows, passing Ruby Rose and Yang Xiao Long as they are busy readying themselves.
"Pssst, hey." Joseph called. No one payed attention to him.
Ruby: Wonder what those two are so worked up about?
"Pssst, Giorno..!" Joseph whispered
Yang: Oh, who knows? So, you seem awfully chipper this morning!
Giorno frowned and glanced on his nephew. Joseph smiled and wiggled his eyebrows.
Ruby: Yep! No more awkward small talk or "getting-to-know-you" stuff. Today, I get to let my sweetheart do the talking. (strokes Crescent Rose as she sighs happily)
"Giorno is the sweetheart!" Josuke blurted out. "Et tu, Josuke?" Giorno glared. "What? What's that? I don't understand." Josuke asked.
Yang: Well, remember, Ruby, you're not the only one going through initiation. If you wanna grow up, you're gonna have to meet new people and learn to work together.
Ruby: (sighs in frustration) You sound like Dad! (shoves her weapon into the locker) Okay, first of all: What does meeting new people have to do with fighting? And secondly: I don't need people to help me grow up! I drink milk!
"Pfft. I never did, and look at how tall I am." Josuke chuckled. "I did. Granny Erina made sure I get atleast a glass a day." Joseph replied.
"Son, if you must breed, choose her. She is the main character, your offspring is going to be powerful to carry on your legacy." Dio advised in the most fatherly way possible, stroking his son's braids.
"Padre-"
"Or wear the Stone Mask and live forever!"
"No, no, no. Giorno is NOT wearing the mask." Jonathan argued. "You're not the one calling the shots, JoJo!" Dio spat back.
Yang: But what about when we form teams?
Ruby: (suddenly nervous) Um, I don't know, I... I'll just be on your team or something...
"Huh. She doesn't seem that bad compared to that annoying Weiss. She shouldn't worry about people not wanting her." Jotaro tugged his cap.
Yang: (Bringing her hair around her shoulder and stroking it) Maybe you should try being on someone else's team?
Ruby: My dear sister Yang, are you implying that you do not wish to be on the same team as me?
Yang: What? No! Of course I do! I just thought... I don't know, maybe it would help you... break out of your shell!
"See? Jotaro? Maybe you should try interacting with people. It's not so bad to be extrovirgin." Joseph smiled. "Vert! Extrovert!" Josuke corrected. "You're one to talk. You got arrested more times than me." Jotaro countered.
Ruby: What the-?! I don't need to 'break out of my shell'! That's absolutely-
Jaune: Ridiculous! (suddenly walking in between the sisters, holding a map and looking lost) There's no way I put my gear in locker 636 yesterday! I would've remembered having to count that high! Why does this have to happen today?
"Ah, the dunce." Dio jeered.
Jaune passes Weiss Schnee and Pyrrha Nikos as they ready themselves at their lockers.
Weiss: So, Pyrrha, have you given any thought to whose team you'd like to be on? I'm sure everyone must be eager to unite with such a strong, well-known individual such as yourself!
"Oh my God, it's you again..!" Jotaro groaned. "That was a bit out of character for you." Josuke commented. "I'm just sick of her voice." Jotaro replied.
Pyrrha: Hmm... I'm not quite sure. I was planning on letting the chips fall where they may.
Dio nudged Giorno "That looks like a strong woman. Her body structure suggests good genetics. You can expect a good offspring from her should you breed with her."
"Stop feeding my son such mindless malice!" Jonathan elbowed him. "Don't lie! That's what you thought about Erina as well! That she is strong enough to handle you!" Dio remarked. "Oh don't bring her up." Jonathan pouted and crossed his arms.
Joseph leaned in to whisper to his kid "Not gonna lie, I found the redhead quite..." Joseph cleared his throat and purred. Josuke simply sighed and facepalmed. He can't blame this version of his father anyways.
Weiss: Well... I was thinking maybe we could be on a team together.
Pyrrha: Well, that sounds grand!
Weiss: Great!
The background disappears into a thundercloud as Weiss adopts a scheming pose and manic smile in her head.
Weiss: This will be perfect! The smartest girl in class combined with the strongest girl in class! Together we will be unstoppable! I can see it now! We'll be popular! We'll be celebrities! We'll get perfect grades! Nothing can come between us now!
"Huh. Didn't expect her to be a lesbian." Jotaro nonchalantly said. "I hope Pyrrha isn't!" Joseph blurted out. "There's a term for that actually." Josuke tapped his chin. "Yuri?" Jotaro suggested. "Yes, that's it." Josuke snapped his fingers.
"Sounds like a lady's name." Giorno said. "Really? It sounded like a Russian man to me." Dio adds.
Jaune: (coming between them and interrupting Weiss' evil train of thought) You know what else is great? Me. Jaune Arc. Nice to meet you.
Weiss: (irritated) You again?
"Pffft, what a douchebag." Joseph chuckled.
Pyrrha: (hurriedly letting herself be seen) Nice to meet you, Jaune!
"OH NO! SHE LIKES HIM!" Joseoh exclaimed.
Jaune: Yeah, yeah. (pushes Pyrrha aside and talks to Weiss, posing slightly) So, Weiss, couldn't help but overhear your fondness of me the other day.
Weiss: Oh, you've got to be kidding me!
"I feel conflicted. About this." Jotaro crossed his arms. "Ohh? So you like Weiss after all..! HAHA!" Joseph teased. "Shut the fuck up! It's not that! I just thought seeing her get pissed off would be fun, but on the other end she can scream her head off as a result!" The delinquent replied.
"You're quite vocal today, Jotaro." Giorno commented. "I didn't get enough sleep." Was Jotaro's excuse.
Jaune: Don't worry! No need to be embarrassed! So, been hearing rumors about teams! I was thinking you and me would make a good one! What do you say?
Pyrrha: (getting Jaune's attention) Actually, I think the teams are comprised of four students each, so-
"Goddamnit! I'll treat you right, Pyrrha! Leave that twerp alone!" Joseph yelled. "I thought you liked Yang, Joseph..." Jonathan said with a hint of sadness. 'Where is the loyalty in this kid?' He thought.
Jaune: You don't say. (advances on his new target) Well, hot stuff, play your cards right and maybe you could join up with the winning team.
Weiss: (separating the two) Jaune, is it? Do you have any idea who you're talking to?
Jaune: Not in the slightest, snow angel.
"Man, Jaune is kinda obnoxious. And I thought I was starting to like him." Josuke mumbled. "Why? Because of your motion sickness? You relate to this loser that much? Then you must be a loser yourself." Dio insulted. "Shut up, jerk." Was all the student could reply, he knows it's not worth it to argue.
Weiss: This is Pyrrha.
Pyrrha: Hello again!
Weiss: Pyrrha graduated top of her class at Sanctum!
Jaune: Never heard of it.
Weiss: (scoffs) She's won the Mistral Region Tournaments four years in a row! A new record!
"Damn, she is the shit!" Joseph commented.
Jaune: The what?
Weiss: (waving her arms rapidly in anger) She's on the front of every Pumpkin Pete's Marshmallow Flakes box!
Jaune: (gasping suddenly) That's you?! (as the design of the cereal box in question is seen with Pyrrha's smiling face on it) But they only do that for star athletes and cartoon characters!
Pyrrha: Yeah, it was pretty cool. Sadly, the cereal isn't very good for you.
"Now I want one. Specially if it tastes like her." The brunet purred. "Joseph!" Jonathan scolded. "Hehe! Don't be so prude, old man! Granny Erina never looked at another man, you must have did something really wild to leave an impression like that." Joseph teased. "I will hit you with an umbrella after this." Jonathan smiled.
Weiss: (appearing as the box design crumbles behind them) So, after hearing all of this, do you really think you're in a position to ask her to be on your team?
Jaune: I guess not... Sorry... (hanging his head)
"... Now I feel sorry for him." Josuke said.
Pyrrha: Actually, Jaune, I think you'd make a great leader!
Jaune: (immediately brightening back up) D'oh, stop it!
"Pfft. Egomaniac." Dio scoffed as everyone looked at him. "What are you staring at, peasants?"
"Fucking hypocrite." Jotaro said.
"I heard that!"
"You're supposed to!"
Weiss: Seriously, please stop it. This kind of behavior should not be encouraged!
Jaune: Sounds like Pyrrha's on board for Team Jaune. Spots are filling up quick! Now, I'm not supposed to do this, but maybe I could pull some strings, find a place for you. What do you say?
Weiss: All right, that's a bit too close! Pyrrha, a little help, please?!
Jaune looks back just in time to see Miló strike him, sending the would-be leader flying off the screen.
Their eyes widened at the sudden burst of action.
Pyrrha: I'm sorry!
The men remained silent for a while.
"Holy fuck, that's one way to deal with sexual harrassment." Joseph broke the ice.
An announcement plays on the intercom system.
Glynda (voice only): Would all first-year students please report to Beacon Cliff for initiation? Again, all first-year students report to Beacon Cliff immediately.
Weiss passes Jaune as he hangs from the wall of a locker on her way out. Pyrrha follows her, grabbing her spear and dropping Jaune to the ground.
Pyrrha: It was nice meeting you!
Jaune: (slumping against the locker) Likewise...
Yang: (as she and Ruby approach) Having some trouble there, lady-killer?
"Ahhh! I'm so conflicted!" Joseph whined.
Jaune: I don't understand. My dad said all women look for is confidence! Where did I go wrong?"(accepts Ruby's offered hand and uses her to lift himself back up)
"Aww, I knew he isn't a douchebag." Josuke sighed in relief. "Indeed. He should have just tried being himself." Jonathan smiled. "He didn't have the charisma to be pulling that off. Heh. Fool." Dio chuckled. "Agreed. He comes off as arrogant. He should try taking it easy and smooth." Giorno said. Meanwhile Joseph was silent, he realized that he was like Jaune in a way. He remembered the reporter that lost a tooth, the two screaming women inside the cafe, Suzi Q and many more before that. He clenched his fists remembering Caesar's insult to him about being too much of an ass to get girls, but at the same time he misses him. "Damn. Poor kid." He muttered under his breath.
Yang: "Snow Angel" probably wasn't the best start.
"You know what? Yellow is my girl. That's final." Joseph smiled back in his old self again. "Nobody cares." Jotaro replied. "I do!" Joseph yelled.
"You don't even know her name!" Josuke said.
"I... Fuck, you got me there." Joseph went quiet. He wasn't paying attention to the story at all.
Ruby: Come on, Jaune, let's go.
Ruby leads Jaune out of the locker room by supporting him and his damaged self-esteem.
The scene opens to the Beacon Cliff, overlooking a forest, where several students — some old, some new, and some unseen — are standing on silver tiles in front of a mug-holding Professor Ozpin and Glynda with her tablet.
"My! Looks beautiful!" Jonathan said. "Yeah, she looks hot." Joseph replied. "Not Glynda! The view!" His grandfather reminded.
"So they finally reached the training ground. I don't expect much." Dio huffed. "This could be interesting." Giorno muttered.
Ozpin: For years, you have trained to become warriors, and today, your abilities will be evaluated in the Emerald Forest.
Glynda: Now, I'm sure many of you have heard rumors about the assignment of "teams." Well, allow us to put an end to your confusion. Each of you will be given teammates... today.
"Wait, isn't it too dangerous for them to enter the school in a trail by fire? They're just kids! I'm pretty sure they're just our age, Giorno. They don't even have stands!" Josuke said. "Stand this, stand that. You kids have it too easy." Joseph crossed his arms.
Ruby: What? Ohhh...
Ozpin: These teammates will be with you for the rest of your time here at Beacon. So it is in your best interest to be paired with someone with whom you can work well.
Ruby: (groaning)
"Pair up with Giorno." Josuke suggested. "Josuke. Please don't make me repeat myself, I'm going to say it in a language that you can understand. Yamero." Giorno said in a cold tone. "Oh, why didn't you just say so?" Josuke grinned like an idiot as Giorno's eye twitched.
Ozpin: That being said, the first person you make eye contact with after landing will be your partner for the next four years.
Ruby: (the shocked expression mirrors her world cracking like glass and falling apart) Whaaaat?!
"Well that'a fucking lame." Jotaro jeered.
Nora: (to Ren) See? I told you-!
Ozpin: After you've partnered up, make your way to the northern end of the forest. You will meet opposition along the way. Do not hesitate to destroy everything in your path... or you will die.
"Now that's fucking awesome." Jotaro monotonously cheered. "No one dies in the beginning of a series, I'm sure of it." Jonathan said in an optimistic tone... Oh man.
Jaune laughs nervously and then gulps loudly.
Ozpin: You will be monitored and graded through the duration of your initiation, but our instructors will not intervene. You will find an abandoned temple at the end of the path containing several relics. Each pair must choose one and return to the top of the cliff. We will regard that item, as well as your standing, and grade you appropriately. Are there any questions?
"So it's a glorified scavenger hunt. Fitting for kids." Dio said. "Hey, it's a fun entrance exam if you ask me. I'd rather do that than rot away tapping my pen on the table." Josuke chirped. "Damn the future!" The vampire yelled. He is getting out of touch when he, the perfect being, should be updated and ready to adapt at all times.
Jaune: (raising his hand) Yeah, um, sir?
Ozpin: Good! Now, take your positions.
Giorno scoffed at that scene.
Everyone strikes a pose on their tile. Nora crouches low, Ren wields his weapons, Yang raises her fists, Ruby readies her body, and Jaune is still raising his hand.
"Wait, what's... Err... Yang, was it? What's her weapon?" Joseph asked with concern. "The hell would I know? Just watch, old geezer." Jotaro said. "Hmph. Fine." The man pouts.
"Oh by the way, I totally got her name right, bitch!" Joseph boasted. "Congratulations, you want a fucking cookie or something?" Jotaro sarcastically replied. "Don't mind if I do." Joseph smiled and held his hand out.
"... That was a joke." Jotaro mumbled.
Jaune: Uh, sir? I've got, um... a question. (he misses the tile under Weiss rising up into a springboard, rocketing into the air and over the forest, as the platforms activate down the line) So, this landing... strategy thing... Uh, wha-what is it? You're, like, dropping us off or something?
Ozpin: No. You will be falling.
"TURN AROUND. YOU MORON." Dio yelled. "Calm down." Jonathan said. "Stupidity annoys me!" Dio growled. "Then you must hate yourself very much." Jonathan replied softly.
Jaune: (missing more students being thrown) Oh, uh, I see... So, like, did you hand out parachutes for us?
Ozpin: No. You will be using your own "landing strategy."
Jaune: (still not seeing an excited Nora and Ren getting launched) Uh-huh... Yeah.
"He is fucked." Jotaro commented.
At her turn, Yang winks at her younger sister, puts on a pair of aviators, and flies off with a "Woo-hoooooooo!" a second before Ruby joins her.
"My kind of girl." Joseph smirked. "EVERYONE is your kind of girl!" Josuke said in annoyance, sick of his shit.
Jaune: So, what exactly is a landing strategYYY!...
"Did he just say WRYY?!" Dio asked, concerned that Jaune may secretly be a vampire.
"... What's a wryyy?" Giorno asked.
He asks this part just when he finally has to get hurled with the cloud of students now making their way down into the forest below under the eyes of the teachers.
"Well, Giorno. Vampires and zombies tend to say that alot. So I guess it's an undead hiss of some sort." Jonathan explained. "What a polite way of calling Dio a retard." Jotaro corpsed.
Ozpin, for his part, simply takes a sip of his drink before the scene goes black and the credits roll.
It was rowdy in Team JoJo's room.