Roxanne knew something was up a day later when Megamind informed her during training that they would have to skip practice the following day. Despite his apparent preparations, Ares had remained strangely quiet, the device Megamind had implanted forcing him to stay in one place. (Roxanne suspected his inactivity was also due in part to both his assurance that his explosive security measures would keep him safe, and to the injury Megamind had dealt him. She wasn't sure where Megamind had injected the tracking device, but that had been a lot of blood.) Brainbot patrols had been scouring the city in a grid pattern, starting with the most likely locations, but until Ares' bombs were located they were stuck at an impasse. The danger certainly wasn't over, but there was little they could do.

"Why? What's happening tomorrow?" she asked her lover.

"We have a meeting with Olivia's new caseworker."

"Wait, what?" she stopped cold and got thrown to the mat as her reward. "OOF! Ouch!" she rubbed the back of one shoulder. "Shouldn't we be focused on keeping Metro City from blowing to pieces?"

"Don't let yourself get distracted. Always focus on the fight. To answer your question, I'm focusing on that, too. I've got brainbots and officers looking for anything that might help us locate the bombs, and I've questioned members of the Dragons about anything they might know. But this is also important, and I can't put it off any longer. Olivia's caseworker made that very clear, and I've agreed to meet with her tomorrow at 9 AM."

"Here?"

"I'm not thrilled about it either," he admitted. "But apparently she needs to see the home. Don't worry, I've made arrangements. Minion is picking her up, and she's aware she'll have to be blindfolded during transit."

"And this person is actually okay with that?"

"Since my elevation to hero, the Lair is considered something similar to a top-secret military base. I've discussed it with both the social worker and her superiors. Everyone is aware this is an unusual circumstance requiring unusual concessions. She has to see the environment Olivia will be staying in, I will concede that. However, I have to keep this location secret, and she has had to concede that. It took a few phone calls, and a little string-pulling, but we've come to a compromise."

"It's a good thing you've already gotten Olivia's rooms finished. I still can't believe you had that expensive canopy bed painted lilac!"

"She wanted a purple princess bed with lacy curtains and fairy lights, she got a purple princess bed with lacy curtains and fairy lights. Now, let's try again! Remember to dodge sideways, don't duck. And keep your stance balanced!"

The next morning, Minion returned at 8:55, and carefully helped a woman with a bag over her head out of the invisible car. "Please watch your step, Miss Klossner."

"Please tell me you washed the bag," Roxanne murmured from the side of her mouth. She was standing with Megamind on the steel platform overlooking the main floor of the Lair.

Her lover gave her a look of melodramatic horror. "Oh, I knew I was forgetting something!"

"Megamind!" she hissed

"I'm kidding," he chuckled softly, giving her a quick peck on the cheek. "Yes, of course, I washed the bag, You certainly reminded me enough times. Ah, Miss Klossner," he added in a louder voice as Minion, disguised as a large blond man, removed the bag from a slightly rumpled looking woman of about forty-five. Megamind began sweeping down the metal stairs, cloak billowing behind him, and Roxanne wondered if she should warn him that there was something distinctly supervillainish about his grand entry. She decided not to risk a scene. Besides, the effect was sufficiently ruined by Olivia, in a lemon yellow dress with bright pink roses and a matching pink cardigan, bounding after him.

"Welcome to my… Home," Megamind continued as he approached, apparently remembering just in time not to refer to the place as an Evil Lair. "I hope you didn't find the trip too uncomfortable. Thank you for understanding the necessity of certain… precautions."

"Of course," the woman shook his hand, then turned to Roxanne. "Amelia Klossner," she said.

"Roxanne Ritchi," she shook the offered hand.

"Would you like an opportunity to freshen up before we get started, Miss Klossner?" Megamind asked.

"That would be appreciated," the woman turned and gasped. "Where— Where did—"

"Minion," Megamind quirked a meaningful eyebrow and gestured. "The car?"

"Oh, right! Yes sir!" Minion pushed a button on something that would have looked like a tiny remote it hadn't been for the minuscule spikes protruding from it. A black 1951 Hudson Hornet, equally spike-bedecked, appeared.

Roxanne had been in the invisible car often enough to know that little besides the chassis and woodwork remained of the original car– the leather seats, though classically styled, were modern, and the entire vehicle was brimming with technology. She had only seen the invisible car without its light-bending invisibility shield active a couple of times, however, and it suddenly occurred to her how odd it was. He'd built all the rest of his vehicles— from the hoverbike to the jetpack— from the ground up, but he'd once told her that he'd gotten parts of the invisible car from the abandoned Hudson Factory. (Actually, she'd once had a theory that his hideout was in the old facility, based solely on the only image of the car she'd ever been able to find, and that was the first place she'd looked when she went searching for the then-villain.) Roxanne hid a smile… Megamind liked antiques, and always seemed to have a soft spot for unloved and forgotten things. It was just like him to rescue the chassis and make it whole again.

To her credit, Miss Klossner, after a shocked gasp, managed to recover herself quickly and retrieve her purse from the car.

"I'd heard rumors," she looked closely at it. "It really does disappear, doesn't it?"

"Oh no," Minion explained. "It just bends light around itself using—"

"Minion!" Megamind warned. "Don't answer that! I apologize," he added to Miss Klossner, seeing her look. "The less you know about… work-related details, the better. There are some people out there that might—"

"Megamind!" Roxanne broke in, realizing he was about to start talking about the dangers of knowing too much— not the best topic of conversation if he wanted to convince this woman he was a fit guardian for a child. "Those same agencies might take issue with you revealing too much about them." She turned to the social worker. "Suffice to say, I've been made to understand that this place," she gestured and used the same words Megamind had earlier, "is deemed to be on the same level with a secret military base."

That did the trick. The word agencies might have actually been meant to indicate any sort of interested person or organization, but she could see Miss Klossner's mind making the leap to government agencies.

"Oh, of course," she said. "I wouldn't want to— EEEK!"

Minion had just deactivated his disguise. "What?" he asked with a shrug.

"I… I just didn't expect…" Miss Klossner managed. "I mean, I'd seen you on television, but you looked… much smaller..." she took another deep breath.

Olivia, thankfully, chose that moment to illustrate just how not scary Minion really was by skipping up to him and lifting her hands in little grabbing motions.

"Up! Up!" she demanded. Minion obeyed with a fishy grin, lifting her easily onto one mechanical shoulder. "Ha!" Olivia announced. "Now Minion and me are the tallest ones here!"

"Minion and I," corrected Megamind with a smile.

"Minion and I," she repeated, "are the tallest ones here."

"Fee, fye, foe, fum!" said Minion.

"I smell the blood of an Englishman!" finished Olivia.

Miss Klossner looked like she was finally recovering. "Are there any other surprises I need to be aware of?" she asked with a nervous laugh.

And, of course, the brainbots chose that moment to make an appearance.

"More tea, Miss Klossner?" Minion asked, lifting the polished silver pot.

They were sitting in the dining room, where Minion had set out refreshments, most of which he'd made the day before. Apparently, despite the early hour, he'd decided that a meeting with a social worker called for High Tea, complete with delicate finger sandwiches, miniature quiches, and tiny iced cakes. Roxanne supposed she couldn't blame him. She remember his enthusiasm when Andro had suggested coming over for a meal– we could have a celebratory dinner!– and realized that he longed to entertain. How many years, after all, had it been just he and Megamind? She really needed to talk to her love about having some people over when this whole Ares ordeal was finished.

"Yes, just a little more, thank you," Miss Klossner seemed much more relaxed now, and Roxanne had to give her credit for that. It would have taken a lot longer for most people to become accustomed to the Lair and its inhabitants. Of course, the fact that Megamind and Minion regularly appeared on the news performing acts of heroism probably helped.

The social worker looked at Megamind, at Olivia, who was busy coloring, and then back at Megamind. Knowing him as well as she did, Roxanne recognized something in Megamind's eyes that said he knew what Miss Klossner was trying to communicate, but was steadfastly refusing to take the hint.

"You know, Olivia," Miss Klossner turned her attention back to the girl. "You don't have to stay for this if you don't want to."

"But of course you're welcome to stay if you'd like," Megamind added. His voice managed to be all kindness and charm, despite the point he was making.

"Well, you know," Klossner was saying. "Typically we don't like to discuss certain things in front of the children—"

"With all due respect, Madam, this concerns her future. She has a right to be here and to offer input if she likes." He held up a hand to forestall any objections. "Of course, as adults, we need to make the best decisions we can for our children, but those children's opinions should still be heard and considered."

Miss Klossner gazed at him for a moment, her face unreadable. "So," she said after a moment, straightening a stack of papers before her. "Your profession, Mr. Mind, is Hero, is that right?"

"Just Megamind, please. The Defender of Metro City is the actual job title, but yes."

"And you have no other profession?"

"Well, I have fingers in several businesses— merchandising and product design, mostly— but if pressed I would say Defender is my primary career now."

"If you don't mind me asking, what does that pay?"

His smile had a slight edge to it. "Nothing, but I receive royalties from all Megamind merchandise sold, as well as from several inventions I've patented and licensed over the years. Then there are dividends from several very lucrative investments." He snapped his fingers in the air, and a hovering brainbot flew nearer. Miss Klossner jumped a little at its approach.

"Show current financial status information," Megamind commanded.

The little cyborg obeyed, projecting the requested information on a blank portion of the wall. Roxanne was glad Miss Klossner had turned around to look, thus missing her own wide-eyed look. Wow. She'd known Megamind had money but there were a lot of digits there…

All this time, she had had no idea she was dating one of the wealthiest men in the city, possibly the state. No wonder he was constantly offering to buy her things.

"Show primary account deposits over the last three years," Megamind ordered. Numbers— big numbers— started scrolling.

"Well," Miss Klossner turned with a slightly stunned nod. "I'd certainly say that qualifies financially stable." She jotted something down on the forms in front of her. "Miss Ritchi, of course, works as a news reporter. How much do you earn?" she turned to Roxanne.

"Eighty-thousand a year," she answered. She was the highest-paid reporter at any local station in the city, but the amount seemed rather paltry compared to Megamind's income.

Miss Klossner wrote something else down. "And you are now Megamind's domestic partner, is that correct? You live together?"

Roxanne lifted her chin slightly, ignoring the fluttering in her chest. "Yes, we live together now." She didn't miss the pleased look on Megamind's face when Miss Klossner bent her head to write something more.

"How long have you been living together?"

Shit, Roxanne thought. "Only about two months, and we've been dating only a little over eight, but we've known one another for years."

Miss. Klossner looked uncomfortable. "Ah, yes, the um… Relationship… Was very different before, wasn't it?" The word kidnappings hung unspoken in the air.

Oh, no you don't, Roxanne smiled. "I would say we were friends before."

"Friends?" Miss Klossner asked slowly, obvious disbelief on her face.

Roxanne leaned forward. "Amelia— may I call you Amelia?— let's be frank here. You and I both know that, in the past, I was known for often being Megamind's compulsory guest. However, I can assure you that I was never actually unwilling. If I had really wanted to avoid him, I could have. There are things like witness protection programs that I could have used. Do you know I never even took out a restraining order on him? I actually looked forward to it; it was the most interesting and mentally stimulating part of my life. Megamind and I had some great intellectual conversations while we waited. Now that I think about it, I'm amazed I didn't see what a good man he was sooner. But the point is that it was all a game of sorts, and it was a great way for me to get the inside scoop on stories. It practically made my career. I'd known Megamind for perhaps fifteen minutes when I realized that he was the last person in the world who would ever willingly harm a helpless individual. Think about his record; even as a villain he limited his illegal activities to theft, vandalism, and destruction of property." Okay, so that wasn't entirely true, based on what Megamind had told her, but he'd only ever hurt criminals, and most people didn't know about it. "You can look at every second of news footage, and you will never see him actually injure anyone. All those scary-looking contraptions were just for show… I was never in any real danger, never actually frightened, and we both knew it. It was all staged, every bit of it, like a play production to draw Metro Man out. I'm honestly surprised he never figured out that I was in less danger with Megamind than I was walking down the street at night."

"You were never in any danger walking home," Megamind assured her. "I saw to that personally."

"See?" Roxanne turned back to Miss Klossner. "Friends. Do you know, I once asked him to loosen the bonds because I'd hurt my shoulder the weekend before helping a friend move, and he not only untied me completely but told Minion to turn everything off because we were rescheduling. Then he gave me a pain reliever and offered me a massage. I should have taken you up on that," she added to Megamind. "I would have found out what a great masseuse you were sooner. But I was stupid and thought it was some sort of trick. I mean, who expects an evil genius to do something that nice? The next time I was going to help someone move, almost two years later, a truck and movers showed up to do it. They said they'd already been paid by an anonymous well-wisher. My friend was completely blown away, but I think… I think a part of me always knew who'd done it, even if I didn't really believe it at first. Now I'm sure." She grinned at Megamind, who was blushing.

"Yes, well, someone had to help you," he said. "I still can't believe that Metro Man, with his super strength and speed, didn't offer."

"He means well, but was never as thoughtful as you are." Roxanne smiled fondly. "Then there was the time you stopped in the middle of an evil plot to get a cat out of a tree."

"That little boy was crying!" Megamind protested, blushing darker. "He was refusing to leave the area without Mr. Fluffikins! He could have been hurt! What else was I supposed to?!"

Roxanne gave him her patented you-don't-fool-me smile. "And of course you learned said cat's name."

"Well… You know…" he shrugged. "I did have to call it…"

"Speaking of Metro Man," said Miss Klossner, "My understanding is that you, Megamind, were responsible for his death, but it appears any charges were dropped. You can understand how someone having that sort of history might cause some concern."

"Have you spoken to official channels?" Megamind asked.

"Yes. All they said that the case was dropped because, and I quote, no crime was committed. But the whole city saw that broadcast."

Roxanne and Megamind glanced at one another. "And have you spoken to your superiors?" Megamind asked.

"Yes, they've told me to drop it, but surely you can understand—"

"Miss Klossner, are you using any recording devices?"

"Wha— no… Why would I?"

"Good. I want you to understand that this is strictly— and I do mean strictly— off the record. People at the top are aware, but it is not something that is ever meant to be public knowledge. Sharing this information could cause a great deal of trouble, and not only for you. Do you understand? Excellent. Roxanne told you that I'm very good at putting on a convincing show. That is absolutely true. I also happen to be quite good at hiding things— how many years did some of the best investigators in the country look for this place?— and at making things. Now I'm going to tell you something else: superheroes cannot simply retire. So, if Metro Man decided to hang up his cape, well… He'd need to disappear, wouldn't he? I think you can fill in the blanks."

Roxanne had to fight not to laugh. Megamind knew Metro Man as well as she did. The interpretation his words lent themselves to was one the former hero wouldn't like. If Miss Klossner talked, he would be so offended by Megamind taking credit for the "brilliant plan" of faking his death (and framing Megamind in the process) that he was certain to react before he thought. Most likely that would involve a public statement announcing that it had been his idea, thank you very much, which, of course, would serve Megamind's purposes just as well. That was the problem with superpowers, Roxanne mused. A person could become so reliant on a few special tricks that they forgot about more mundane things like insight and strategy.

Amelia Klossner was staring at Megamind. "You... You're saying—"

"I'm saying absolutely nothing," Megamind interjected calmly. "Because I agreed not to. And I'm trusting you not to say anything, either. We both know," he added, leaning forward with a conspiratorial look. "How poorly many people in this city would react."

"Oh, I… Yes, of course."

"Then I believe we understand one another."

Roxanne felt a tingle of pride. My, but her lover could really turn up the dark charm when he wanted to.

Miss Klossner cleared her throat. "Yes, um…" she looked at her papers. "I've seen the living quarters— all satisfactory— but I noticed there is also a large workspace downstairs. I need to know… I assume there are some dangerous things there, given the nature of your work?"

"Oh, I'm never allowed in the workroom without Mr. Megamind," Olivia piped up. "I'm not allowed in the lab either."

"Lab?" Miss Klossner looked at Megamind.

"With all of the latest safety standards and equipment," he answered.

"If you think about it," offered Roxanne. "It's really no different from someone having a woodworking shop or a repair garage on the premises. Those contain dangerous things, too, but if a parent used them to earn a living, and ensured children were kept out, you wouldn't object to that, would you?"

Klossner actually smiled. "No, I guess I wouldn't. For the record, because I know I'll be asked, what precautions are in place to keep Olivia out of those areas unattended?"

"Among other things, there are the brainbots," answered Megamind. "They're constantly on guard, and have standing orders to protect anyone in this family. I've updated that programming to include keeping Olivia away from the workroom and lab unless one of us is with her."

"Very good. How about hygiene?"

"I believe Olivia can answer that. Livy, what are our rules about hygiene?"

The girl stood up as if she were reciting in class. "Take a bath every day. Always wash everywhere, including behind your ears and between your toes, even though it tickles. Brush your teeth twice a day, and that means flossing and mouthwash, too. Brush your hair every morning and night. Just be glad you have any," she added in a fair imitation of the blue hero. "Wash your hands whenever you use the necessary— that what Mr. Megamind calls the potty— and before every meal. And any time you touch anything like garbage or dirt or something. Scrub under your nails. Never pick your nose because it's gross. Wear clean clothes every day, even socks and underwear. But I always do that anyway. I don't want to be the stinky kid, like Matt Gordon."

"Olivia!" Megamind crossed his arms. "That was not nice!"

"But it's true!"

"You know," Roxanne offered. "Just because something is true doesn't mean it needs to be said. Sometimes people can't help the way they are, so it's wrong to make fun of them for it."

"Why?"

"Because it's bullying," Megamind explained. "And what have I told you about bullying?"

"That it's mean, and I should never do it."

"And why is that?"

"Because bullies are bad guys!"

"And what do I do to bad guys?"

"You scare the pants off them and haul them to jail!" Olivia said triumphantly.

"That's right," he grinned.

"You go: 'RAWR! I'm Megamind!' and then they go: 'Oh, no! Mommy!' and run away without their pants!"

"Uh, I suppose that's a… fair assessment?"

Roxanne bit her lip for self-control. Her lover was receiving something that her cousin Theresa had once called: "one of parenting's surprise lessons." Children will, in fact, misinterpret and repeat literally anything you say.

Miss Klossner was actually laughing. "It seems you have verbal discipline pretty well in hand. Do you ever use physical discipline? On someone other than the ' bad guys,' I mean."

"It's never come up. Olivia is well-behaved, and given her… recent situation… I would not feel it was appropriate. If necessary, I would prefer standing her in a corner or sending her to her room. I hope nothing more than that will ever be required, but if it is, that's something Roxanne and I will have to discuss."

"Yes," Klossner's eyes softened. "I read the report. The… background… and the most recent… unpleasantness… That's why she's currently under your protective custody, correct?"

"Yes."

"And do you like it here, Olivia?"

"Yes, Ma'am. I love it here!"

"I don't suppose you have other children to play with. Do you watch a lot of television? Play a lot of video games?"

"No, Ma'am. We don't have a TV."

"You don't—" Miss Klossner looked at Megamind.

"We've got a library, though!" Olivia put in. "Mr. Megamind says books are better than TV anyway. He buys me all the books I want. On Saturday, I get to watch cartoons on the window in the family room—"

"On the… Window?"

"The rest of the time we read. Right now, Mr. Minion is reading me The Hobbit. He does the voices and everything! I draw a lot, and play hide and seek with the brainbots. And I play pretend, too! I'm really good at being a Pterosaur. Want to see?"

"Do you mean a Pterodactyl?"

"Pterodactyls," Olivia informed her, "aren't a real thing. The closest one is Pterodactylus, and Pterodactylus is just a type of Pterosaur. There's also Aetodactylus, Moganopterus, and a whole bunch of others. Mr. Megamind taught me all about them."

"That's a little above her grade level," said Miss Klossner, turning to Megamind.

He shrugged. "She's a smart girl. I don't believe in restraining intellect. Curiosity ought to be encouraged."

Miss Klossner nodded. "It says here that you've withdrawn her from school and are currently homeschooling her?"

"Given the situation, I felt it was safer."

"I do lots of homework," announced Olivia. "But that's okay because I like it. I'm going to be super smart like Mr. Megamind! I'm going to be an astrophysicist," she pronounced the word with deliberate care, "and help build spaceships. Or maybe I'll play violin in a rock band."

"I don't think people really play violins in rock bands," Miss Klossner was clearly trying to let Olivia down gently.

"Elyghen does."

"Who's Elyghen?"

"He plays in Elvenking," Megamind explained. At the social worker's look, he added. "It's a folk metal band. And as for you," he scooped Olivia up into his arms. "Why don't you do both?"

"Can I? Can I do both?"

"You," he touched a finger to her nose, "can do anything. If you want to learn violin, I'll hire a teacher."

"When?"

"Tomorrow if you like. We'll need to get you an instrument, too." He turned toward a brainbot. "You! Start running search crawlers on quality violins available nearby. Report on terminal three by seven tonight."

"Well, I certainly like your attitude toward education. Do you mind if I take a look at your curriculum?" Miss Klossner asked Megamind.

"Not at all! Follow me, it's in the sh– schoolroom."

"You've already made a schoolroom?"

"Of course," Megamind answered, standing up. "Genius needs a place to work!" he cast a sidelong smile and a wink at Olivia, who beamed.

"Can I— I mean may I show her my new book bag?"

"Yes, you may."

The girl turned to regard the social worker. "It's got sparkles and rainbows on it," she said impressively and bounded out of the room.

"Why does she need a book bag to be homeschooled?" Klossner, following Megamind to the door, sounded bewildered.

"Because she wanted one."

"I think that went really well," Megamind told Roxanne after Minion, once again disguised, drove away with Miss Klossner.

"There were a few touchy moments, but I think you won her over."

"We won her over."

She kissed him. "We did."

Minivans and mom-jeans, the voice in her head, that personification of worry and self-doubt, sneered.

Shut up.

She wasn't going to listen. This was a big change, but they were making it work, and they would keep making it work. Right here. In the Lair. While he performed his heroic duties and she went back to being a top reporter.

"Well, Livy," Megamind was saying. "I'm afraid I can't cook like Uncle Minion. Does a peanut butter and jelly sandwich sound alright for lunch?"

"With grape jelly?"

"Is there any other kind with peanut butter?" he grinned.

"Okay!" She agreed. "And with chocolate milk, too?"

"Hmmm… I don't know… I didn't hear the magic word."

Roxanne smiled. For a former supervillain, who at one time had never so much as considered saying things like "please," "thank you," and "I'm sorry," he was certainly turning into a stickler for manners.

Maybe adopted fatherhood was good for him.

"May I have chocolate milk, too, please?" the girl was asking.

"Absolutely!" Megamind smiled. "And afterward we'll bring your homework to the workroom. Miss Roxanne and I need to finish a few things, and I think you're big enough to work downstairs like a professional, grownup lady. How does that sound?"

"May I wear a tie?"

He laughed. "I think I have one you can borrow."