Evermore
A Rikki songfic
I was the one who had it all
I was the master of my fate
I never needed anybody in my life
I learned the truth too late
"What do you mean you're leaving?"
"I think it's pretty self-explanatory," Emma said quietly, looking down at her juice.
"Where are you going? It's our last year of high school!"
"Mum and Dad said it was a world tour. 'We're very lucky to have this opportunity,'" Emma parroted unenthusiastically.
Rikki's stomach twisted painfully. "You can't leave, Em," she said, her voice betraying her hurt. She could feel the burn of tears and blinked it away. No way was she about to cry now.
"I don't want to, Rikki. I tried everything to get them to let me stay, but nothing worked. We're leaving at the start of summer."
Rikki looked down at her drink, which started to bubble slightly. "Have you told the others?"
"No, I wanted to tell you first."
"Why?"
Emma didn't have an answer.
I'll never shake away the pain
I close my eyes but she's still there
I let her steal into my melancholy heart
It's more than I can bear
It had taken everything Rikki had to stay calm when she first saw Emma, pursing her lips unapprovingly at their stolen boat, but with a wicked twinkle in her beautiful blue eyes when she got onboard with them. True, they fought when they were stranded, but she couldn't think of a better person to get stranded with.
She walked home, her hands jammed in her pockets, her cell phone left turned off. This was stupid, she had moved plenty times before, said goodbye to plenty of people. But there was no one like Emma, and Rikki wasn't the one leaving this time. Would she forget them as she traveled? Find other friends?
Emma and Cleo were the only ones who could stand her in this town, and Rikki knew that no matter how their lives unfolded, she would be forever happy she stole that spark plug.
Now I know she'll never leave me
Even as she runs away
She will still torment me
Calm me, hurt me
Move me, come what may
Rikki didn't want to be there when she told them, but Emma's hurt look changed her mind. They met up at Mako, and she sat off to the side while Emma explained she was going away. Cleo started to cry, and Lewis comforted her while Emma tried explaining that they'd still be friends, and that she would always be there for them.
Rikki leaned against the wall, arms folded as she watched the scene. Rather, she watched the way Emma's hair gently fell across her shoulders, and she memorized how the blue of the moon pool couldn't even compare to Emma's eyes. She watched Emma hug Cleo in a tight embrace, promising her that she was only a phone call away. That they were best friends, and nothing could rip them apart, and all that mushy stuff that Rikki stopped believing in until she met the two of them.
Without saying a word, Rikki turned and jumped into the moon pool. After all, mermaids couldn't cry underwater.
Wasting in my lonely tower
Waiting by an open door
I'll fool myself she'll walk right in
And be with me for evermore
Everyone knew that Rikki wasn't one to talk about her feelings. When she showed up at Emma's house one night, neither spoke, Emma just quietly shut the door, and the two went to the beach together.
The next morning, they all went to the airport to wave Emma farewell. She hugged them all, but Rikki thought she hugged her tighter. She pulled away and gently touched Rikki's cheek, and for a split second, everything around them melted away, time suspended, anything could happen, and she could've spent forever lost in Emma's ocean blue eyes. But all too soon, she broke away, time began again, and Rikki had to watch her walk away.
She went out with Lewis and Cleo, and had fun at the JuiceNet with them, swapping stories about Emma and lamenting that she'd see amazing places without them. She joked that at least now she could not do her homework in peace now, and they laughed. When she got home, she went past her dad and into her room, closing the door behind her. She took out the picture she took of the two of them and cried herself to sleep.
I rage against the trials of love
I curse the fading of the light
Though she's already flown so far beyond my reach
She's never out of sight
Emma was never too far from Rikki's thoughts. She saw her everywhere: a girl on the street's blonde hair, the confident way someone answered a question in class, the quiet in the morning when she looked out to the ocean.
She didn't talk to anyone for a few days after Emma left. She told Zane she was feeling sick, and he passed it along to the others, who sent her get well messages but thankfully didn't come around. She laid on her bed and stared at the ceiling before rolling over to stare at the few framed photos she had on her dresser. Her friends stared happily back to her, and tears slipped down her face. Sadness wasn't something she did well, that was why she was quick to anger: it was easier to deal with.
They still talked to Emma, but as the summer crawled on, the phone calls came less and less. Emma was off seeing the world with her perfect family, slowly forgetting her friends. Slowly forgetting Rikki. Fine. Rikki couldn't stop her.
She and Cleo spent more time together, and Rikki realized she had to cherish what time she did have with her. It was probably just a matter of time before she left too. She was learning more and more that everyone eventually does.
Now I know she'll never leave me
Even as she fades from view
She will still inspire me
Be a part of everything I do
She didn't want Bella to replace Emma, but as the year went on, she found it happening more and more. If Emma was there, she could've figured out what was happening with the moon pool. It was bad enough when Lewis left…
The others thought Rikki was getting overwhelmed by the moon pool, and maybe she was. But the water had something to tell them, and they had to figure it out. Or rather she did. Everyone else was too worried about other things that didn't matter. Mako felt more like home now.
Maybe it was the magic, but whenever she stood by the moon pool, staring in the water, she could swear she could smell Emma's perfume.
Wasting in my lonely tower
Waiting by an open door
I'll fool myself, she'll walk right in
And as the long, long nights begin
I'll think of all that might have been
Waiting here for evermore
Maybe it was her fault. Maybe she was too young, or waited too long, or maybe she just didn't know she was waiting. Maybe Emma was in the same position. There had been times when they were sitting together, or talking, and Rikki thought she saw something in Emma's eyes, but it was always gone before she could do something about it. The maybes of her life kept her awake at night. She didn't know what Emma was up to these days, but she often dreamed about what she would do if she showed up at her doorstep, with her intelligent eyes and mischievous smirk she reserved just for Rikki.
She looked out to the ocean, where she now knew real mermaids lived. From her hotel room, she could almost see Mako Island, and her mind drifted to the mermaids she had met in the moon pool. Three of them, working together, just like her and her friends used to do. But she was an adult now, and the maybes in her life would just have to rest in her heart.