The summer afternoons in Gravity Falls have been known to be pretty average on a scale ranging from peaceful to chaotic. Although things would usually lean more toward the chaotic end, as it was Gravity Falls after all. Chaos was to be expected from such a weird town.
However, this afternoon was remarkably more peaceful than usual. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. Not a pedestrian to be seen. Not another car on the road. The town felt as empty as could be.
Stan couldn't remember a time when Gravity Falls was this quiet. This felt like a first for him, but he was perfectly okay with it. The quiet made the final drive back to the Mystery Shack with Ford much more appreciative. It was easier to remember the good times and fond memories of the town, rather than remember the annoyance of rush hour or annoying townspeople. Easier to look out the window and get lost in beautiful nostalgia rather than suffering and regret.
"I must say- it's quite a peaceful day around here, don't you think?" Ford asked Stan from the driver's seat.
Stan looked back from the window to face his brother. "It was until you started talking."
"I'm just saying," Ford chuckled. "The town just seems far more vacant than I remember. I wonder if everyone decided to sleep in or if maybe there were a bunch of recent movers or what?"
"Well, it's Wednesday, so I find sleeping in kind of hard to believe," Stan said. "As idiotic as over half the town might be, most of them still have jobs. Hard to believe, but they do. And with that said, I also doubt that a lot of those jobs pay enough to justify moving out of town."
"Well, then, we'll just call it a perfect summer afternoon, I suppose," Ford settled. "The universe's way of welcoming us back home after a few good years of adventuring."
"Yeah," Stan nodded somewhat glumly as he already began reminiscing about their adventures.
"What's wrong, Stanley?" Ford asked as he noticed Stan's downcast tone.
"Nothing," Stan shook his head. "I'm glad to be home. I'm just... I'm kinda gonna miss the adventuring, I guess. I've gotten used to that being our thing for so long, so it just feels weird knowing that it's finally over. And, ya know... that we're not gonna do them anymore."
"What? Are you kidding?" Ford chuckled, struck by Stan's words. "Who said that?"
Stan raised an eyebrow in confusion as he turned back to Ford. "What? You did. It was your idea."
"Why would I suggest something like that?" Ford asked. "These past few years have been amazing! I'd love to keep doing this kind of thing in the future!"
"But... back in the Arctic! In the mountain! I thought you said-"
"I don't remember what I said, Stanley," Ford told him candidly. "But listen to what I'm saying now. I want us to keep going on these trips and adventures in the future. I don't know why I would ever suggest that we stop. I mean, c'mon. What's gonna stop us? Old age?"
"Well, I mean…" Stan said, rubbing the back of his head as he thought about that being a strong possibility.
"You're my brother, Stanley," Ford said as he put his hand on his shoulder. "And I want us to keep sailing around the world and going on these big adventures together. From now until the day we die."
Stan was surprised by Ford's sudden mind change on the idea of spending their future continuing to go around the world. But at the same time, he couldn't say he didn't love what he was hearing.
"You... really mean that, Stanford?" Stan asked happily.
"Of course I do!" Ford nodded. "Hell, maybe with the permission of their parents, we could bring Dipper and Mabel along with us and share the adventures with them. I'm sure they'd love to come along with us. What do you think of that?"
"Bringing the kids along?" Stan asked. "Oh man, they'd totally love it! I can see it now- Pines at Sea! We'd be almost like pirates, except we'd actually have teeth! Mostly!"
"Pirates…" Ford repeated with a smile, visibly thinking about it. "Reminds me of the times we used to dress up and play as pirates when we were kids back on Glass Shard Beach."
Stan stared at Ford for a brief moment as he processed this thought. He looked ahead as he began to reminisce in the same memory. A smile grew as he started getting misty-eyed.
"I can't believe you still remember that..." he said as he pulled his glasses off and wiped the fog from them.
"How could I ever forget?" Ford asked. "Some of my most fondest childhood memories were on that beach."
"Yeah... Mine too..." Stan nodded in agreement as he put his glasses back on. However, his emotional smile suddenly faded as he began to think of Ford's words again. "Wait... did you just say 'most fondest'?"
"No time, Stanley!" Ford dismissed excitedly as he suddenly stopped and parked the car. "We're here!"
"Wait, really?!" Stan asked as he looked out the window.
Ford was right. They had just parked right outside the Mystery Shack. Stan was thrown off by how soon they had just gotten there. Perhaps he wasn't paying attention outside enough and was too lost in his memories to notice how close they actually were to home.
"What're you waiting for? Let's see the family again!" Ford said as he unbuckled his seatbelt and exited the car.
"Hold up, Poindexter!" Stan called out as he quickly followed him outside the car. "I'm not gonna let you be the first one to say hello!"
"We'll see about that!" Ford said daringly. He looked at the front door of the Shack in the distance as he ran over to it. "DIPPER! MABEL! IT'S US!"
"WE'RE HOME!" Stan added as he ran behind Ford.
Within the next few seconds, the front door of the Mystery Shack burst open. Dipper and Mabel stood in the doorway, looking out at the Stan twins running toward them in the distance. They smiled wide and happily as they realized it was really them.
"GRUNKLE STAN!" Mabel screamed happily as she ran down the porch to greet them.
"GREAT UNCLE FORD!" Dipper exclaimed as he did the same as his sister, running over toward their two great uncles.
"KIDS!" Stan and Ford shouted at the same time as they kept running toward them.
Dipper and Mabel kept running toward the two excitedly, the distance slowly closing. Mabel spread her arms out as she ran, preparing herself to give the biggest hug she would ever give. As the two pairs of twins were about to meet in the middle, Mabel leaped up into the air with her arms spread out as widely as she could possibly spread. The Stan twins were more than ready to hug the two back.
FLASH!
Suddenly, there was a large, bright beam of light that shined directly upon Dipper and Mabel, freezing their entire bodies mid-air as they ran, as well as their facial expressions.
"What the…?!" Stan asked, his excitement immediately turning into confusion and fear. He knew there was absolutely no logical reason for Dipper and Mabel to be frozen the way they were. "Ford, what's happening?"
Ford appeared just as confused as he was. "I-I don't know!"
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
The two were suddenly overcast by a giant triangular shadow of a figure that rose above. The two glanced up at the figure and where the beam of light emerged from. Both of their eyes went wide as they were suddenly struck with the most fear either of them had felt for the longest time.
"WELL, WELL, WELL! LOOK WHAT WE HAVE HERE! THE PINES FAMILY- REUNITED AGAIN! NOW ISN'T THIS ADORABLE?" taunted the voice of none other than Bill Cipher. He used his large, glowing, white eye to levitate the frozen teens away from Stan and Ford and over to him.
"NOO!" Ford cried as he reached his hand out toward Dipper and Mabel as they were levitated closer to Bill.
"YOU GIVE THEM BACK, YOU SONUVA-" Stan screamed angrily at Bill.
"YOU SEE, THAT'S ONLY ONE OF THE THINGS I COULD DO," Bill cut off as he held the frozen teens above his hand. "BUT LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT ALL OF OUR OPTIONS HERE: I COULD EITHER GIVE THEM BACK TO YOU... OR..."
Bill suddenly snapped his fingers right underneath Dipper and Mabel, causing their bodies to implode and vanish.
"...I COULD COMPLETELY WIPE THEM FROM EXISTENCE! NOW WHICH ONE SHOULD I... oh wait, I ALREADY COMPLETELY WIPED THEM FROM EXISTENCE! HAHAHA! CLUMSY ME!"
He began to laugh maniacally as Stan and Ford stood frozen, completely mortified at what they had just seen. Stan dropped weakly to his knees in response.
"ANYWAYS, NOW THAT I'M BACK, I THINK THIS PLACE NEEDS TO BE REDECORATED TO MY LIKING! I MEAN, SERIOUSLY... THIS BLUE SKY? IT JUST AIN'T GONNA WORK!"
Snap!
Bill snapped his fingers again, and without any transition, the sky instantly turned red with a large, orange, X-shaped dimensional rift formed in the middle. The winds had also immediately picked up and some dark clouds had formed overhead.
"THAT'S MUCH BETTER! LOOK AT THAT RED! REALLY SETS THE MOOD, DONTCHA THINK?"
"DAMN YOU, CIPHER!" Ford shouted angrily as he pointed his finger up at him. "YOU CROSSED THE LINE! YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH WHAT YOU DID TO THE KIDS! WE STOPPED YOU ONCE! WE'LL STOP YOU AGAI-"
"YAWN."
Without waiting any further, Bill proceeded to blast a large bolt of electricity out of his eye at Ford, violently electrocuting him to which he screamed loudly in pure agony.
"STANFORD! NO!" Stan screamed, reaching his hand out for his brother.
Once the bolt finished, all that was left was a stone petrification of Ford. But it didn't last long, as the stone immediately withered to ashes, blowing away in the growing winds. Stan chased the ashes for a quick moment before once again dropping to his knees hopelessly.
"NO ONE LIKES A CRITIC!" Bill said as he playfully filed his fingernails. "IF HE DIDN'T LIKE MY SKY, HE SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID ANYTHING! I WOULD'VE SIMPLY WIPED HIM FROM EXISTENCE JUST LIKE THE KIDS! BUT NOPE! HE HAD TO SHARE HIS OPINION, THEREFORE, I HAD TO MAKE HIM SUFFER FIRST!"
Stan was already destroyed after losing the kids, but seeing the ashes of his brother blow away in the wind brought out a new feeling of pure rage within him that he couldn't figure out how to express outside of sadness.
"You... monster…" Stan said as he began tearing up.
"YOU THINK I'M A MONSTER NOW?" Bill asked as he suddenly started levitating Stan with his hand. "JUST YOU WAIT, STANLEY! I HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU!"
Stan attempted to resist as he was levitated toward Bill, but he was helpless. Bill flipped him upside down in mid-air as he brought him eyes-to-eye with him. Despite all his attempts at resistance, Stan was completely out of control and unable to move or escape Bill's telekinetic grasp.
"Alright, you big, triangle freak! You win!" Stan told him. "You took my niece and nephew! You took my brother! Now you have me hanging right in front of you! You got me! If you're gonna do anything, make it quick!"
"OH, I WISH I COULD!" Bill said as he playfully spun Stan around in his hand, making him dizzy. "BUT THE TRUTH IS, STANLEY, YOU'RE ACTUALLY MUCH MORE HARDHEADED THAN I HAD ORIGINALLY THOUGHT! SO IT LOOKS LIKE THIS WHOLE PROCESS OF OURS IS GONNA TAKE A BIT LONGER THAN I HAD HOPED!
"What? Process?" Stan asked as Bill suddenly stopped spinning him. "What are you on about?"
"YOU'LL SEE SOON ENOUGH!" Bill said, narrowing his eye at him. "AIN'T MUCH I CAN DO IN HERE NOW BUT GIVE YA A GOOD SCARE, BUT BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, YOU'LL BE MY PUNCHING BAG! AND WE'RE GONNA HAVE LOTS OF FUN THEN, I PROMISE YOU THAT! HAHAHAHA!"
Stan was unsettled by Bill's words, having no clue what they meant or what process he was talking about. However, those thoughts diminished as Bill soon raised a fist at him, which he had then grown to be more massive than it already was.
"I'LL SEE YOU SOON, STANLEY!" he shouted before cackling sinisterly. He then lunged his massive fist directly at Stan.
With nothing to do other than float helplessly, Stan shut his eyes tightly and braced himself for Bill's fist making direct contact with him.
"Stanley!"
Stan suddenly jolted up from his sleep in a dazed and fearful mess. He twisted and turned back and forth, shaking and wobbling the surface he lay on.
"STANLEY!"
Stan finally opened his eyes upon the repeat of his name, and the familiarity of Ford's voice. Straight across from him he was, giving him a strong look of concern.
"Stanley, what the hell's wrong with you?" Ford asked. "Are you okay?"
As Stan's eyes continued to adjust from waking up, he looked around at his surroundings. Soon, he was able to identify the obvious view- the ocean. Miles and miles of pure saltwater without the merest piece of land in sight. He looked down at where he was sitting, realizing he was floating in the comfort of their inflatable boat.
The situation was finally refreshing in his head. They were in the Arctic, blew up a mountain, lost the Stan O' War II, and then took off on its emergency inflatable escape boat before the engine fell off. While they were still afloat, the only thing moving them now was the ocean current. He realized this had been their condition for days and the feeling of that time washed over him again, as he also realized that he hadn't showered for a while. Being as old and careless as he normally was, the feeling of being a little dirty never bothered him too much. But at that moment, being unclean never felt so unpleasant. He would normally resist a proper shower for a day or two until he gave in, but it was clear to him now that it had been longer than that. Much longer.
He put a hand on his chin and felt around his face, feeling the roughness of a growing stubble due to his lack of shaving for the past few days. Unfortunately, he had left his razor behind on the Stan O' War rather than packing it back up in his backpack, so it was just an issue he had to endure. Looking straight across at Ford, he noticed he was taking on a similar stubble. His shaving method was far more grand and insane, however, as he used fire grenades that he had designed himself to blow up and burn off the stubble from his face. He often claimed the process was preferred due to how much quicker it is compared to a razor, although Stan himself would much rather endure the extra ten minutes than essentially blow up his face. That said, Ford had brought some for their trip, although being on an inflatable boat for the past few days, he felt it was best to hold off on using them until they got back to land.
As Stan looked around, still dazed and somewhat fearful, he was slowly coming to a realization that the terror he had just experienced came from nothing more than a nightmare. A scarily realistic-feeling nightmare, but thankfully nothing in it had actually happened.
"Yeah, I-I'm fine," Stan stuttered, still a bit shaken up. "Just... a bad dream is all."
"Another one?" Ford asked, raising a concerned eyebrow.
"What do you mean?" Stan asked.
"Stan, that's the fourth nightmare you've had since we got stuck at sea," Ford reminded him. "And we've been out here for four whole days."
That was another thing that Stan had forgotten about at the moment. He had been having nightmares since they first got stuck on the inflatable. He couldn't recall exactly what they were about, but he remembered that the past few nights he had woken from were all in trembling, cold sweats. As far as he knew, the one he had just awakened from was the first one about Bill. He hadn't thought about that triangular devil in years and so having him suddenly plague his mind caught him off guard.
He considered mentioning it to Ford, although knowing him, he would probably start putting together some paranoid conspiracy theories about Bill coming back.
C'mon, Bill's dead. It was all just a nightmare. Nothing worth mentioning.
He knew that they had wiped him from his mind already. For that reason, he was willing to just brush it off and keep it to himself. Maybe being stuck out in the middle of the ocean for so long was just bringing out the worst thoughts in him.
"What have you been dreaming about, Stanley? Is it anything serious?" Ford asked, genuinely curious.
"Ehh, it's nothing," Stan told him.
"Are you sure?"
"You know me, Sixer. I have nightmares about the days I can't find the remote. The ones I'm having now ain't any more serious than that," Stan assured.
"But four nights in a row?" Ford asked, still skeptical. "You never had nightmares before we reached the Arctic."
Stan reached down in one of the pockets of the boat and picked up a piece of half-eaten toast. "Yeah, well, maybe it's because I'm constantly eating nothing but wristwatch toast because that's all we have to eat on this eventual shipwreck," Stan said as he threw the piece of toast over to Ford. He then dipped his hand in the ocean and lightly splashed it around. "Or maybe it's the dehydration. The fact that we're surrounded by all this water, yet we can't even drink any of it!"
"Hey, if you want to drink contaminated salt water, be my guest," Ford said, raising his hands up defensively. "I wouldn't recommend it, but if you're really that persistent…"
"I'm not persistent about anything, Ford," Stan said, crossing his arms. "And I'm not gonna drink salty fish piss. I'm just saying... given what we got going on right now, could you blame me for having a few bad dreams?"
"You miss the kids, don't you?"
Stan thought for a moment before sadly slumping back against the edge of the boat. "I'm just worried we ain't actually gonna make it back to see them."
"Oh, don't be like that," Ford reassured. "Look, I know we're not exactly in the best of circumstances right now, but we're still alive. Dehydrated and dirty, but alive. And we've already endured a good few days of this already. If we just stick our necks through a few more, then the ocean current should take us smoothly toward the east coast of the states. Judging by the current wind conditions, that would most likely mean closer to the North, such as Maine or Southern Canada. Anyways, we can freshen up somewhere real quickly before finding a way to get us back to Oregon. Perhaps a bus or a rental. And maybe along the way, I can find a temporary power source to get back the rest of Meridian's functions beyond offline toast-making."
"And how long's it actually gonna take until we reach land again?" Stan asked as he hung his head out over the edge of the boat, looking out at the ocean.
"Hmm... let me get my calendar out," Ford said, as he dove into his backpack and pulled out a small calendar. "My initial prediction was about seven days. We left the mountain on the 11th. That would mean arriving approximately on the 18th. And since it's been four days, today's the…" Cutting himself off, Ford's eyes widened slightly as he came to a sudden realization. "Oh… that's quite... embarrassing"
"What? You finally realized your fly's been down?"
"No, I just found out that… wait, what do you mean finally?" Ford asked, immediately prompted to look down at the zipper of his jeans. Correcting the error, he looked back at Stan with an irritated look. "Did you seriously know about that this whole time?"
"Maybe," Stan shrugged off. "But never mind that, what did you realize?"
Ford sighed. "You know what day it is, Stanley?"
"Why are you asking me? You're the one holding a calendar," Stan said, pointing at the calendar in Ford's hands.
"That's not what I was…" Ford began, before deciding it wasn't worth arguing. He let out another sigh of annoyance before looking straight back at Stan. "It's June 15th."
Stan's eyes bulged immediately at this revelation. He turned back toward Ford with a look of disbelief. "Huh. Really?"
"On the dot," Ford nodded, placing the calendar back in his bag. He looked back around at the surrounding ocean. "What a way to be spending it."
Stan stared forward blankly for a good moment. "You know... sometimes I wonder if we deserve things like this."
"What do you mean?" Ford asked.
"I mean, I've admitted several times before that I'm not that great of a person. I've done lots of bad things. Things I wish I could take back and things I still don't regret. But as twins, you've always been the good one," Stan said, pointing at Ford. "Yeah, sure. You've gotten into your own fair share of trouble, whether it'd be something stupid you did as a kid or building a portal of potentially inevitable doom. But despite that, your intentions have always been good. I can't say the same for all of mine. Sure, I spent thirty years trying to get you back home, but I was a mess before that. All the cheating, dealing, and smuggling I used to do to try to make my own way around. On the other hand, you were in Gravity Falls, researching weirdness and making decent money. A demon in your head aside, I'd say you had it pretty good. But it only took me sending you off and pretending to be you to actually make a buck."
Ford glared at Stan weirdly, wondering when he was just going to get to the point. "Stanley, what is this? What are you on about?"
"I'm saying that this situation- I deserve it. You, however, don't. Not as much as me, at least. For all the years I've been a screw-up, you don't even compare," Stan continued ranting. "The only one of us who deserves to have this day stuck out in the middle of the ocean is me. You should be back home with the kids already. I'll stay on this boat. I'll take the suffering. I'll travel the cold, dry, relentless path of inevitable death all on my own."
Stan stood up on his feet and raised his fist in the air angrily, much to Ford's growing confusion.
"You're all gonna die anyway! Why not have him take that trip first?!" Stan shouted. "That would give you and the kids a few more days before I come knocking on your door just to send you along with him! Once he gets what's coming to him, I'm coming for you next! YOU HEAR ME?! I'm gonna get EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!"
Ford sat still with a look of pure shock and confusion as he stared at Stan after his mindless rambling. Never has he ever heard him talk the way he did. His words were weirdly out of character for him. It was as if someone else was talking through him. Who was he talking about? Who was he gonna find and get? Was he threatening him, Dipper, and Mabel?
As Stan took deep breaths after his enraged rant, he suddenly displayed a face of apparent confusion. He quickly glanced around at himself and his surroundings. He then looked at Ford, noticing how weirdly he was looking back at him.
"What?" Stan asked.
"The hell do you mean 'what'?" Ford asked, raising an eyebrow. "What in God's name was all of that about?"
"What was what about?"
"That big rant of yours!" Ford reminded him. "What else would I be talking about?"
Stan rubbed the back of his neck, trying to recall what Ford was talking about. "I think I know what you're talking about, but at the same time, I really don't know what you're talking about."
"Is this some sort of sick joke?" Ford asked, narrowing his eyes. "You just stood in front of me ranting about our past and how you wanted someone to die. Then you started yelling at me saying that after this person died, you were gonna kill me and the kids. It was like hearing another drunken speech from this one alcoholic I met in my cross-dimensional travels. Except, I know that you haven't been drinking."
Stan sat down and laid his head back on the edge of the boat, thinking about what Ford was telling him. At that point, he had no recollection of such a rant. "I... I don't know, Sixer. I really don't. Maybe the dehydration is messing me up more than I thought."
Ford glared at him skeptically, still unsure. But he knew Stan was already suffering in the head due to the nightmares, so perhaps this was another follow-up. It was strange because he had been enduring the same conditions as him and he hadn't had any nightmares or need to go on long, mindless rants.
The thought then came to him that maybe it had something to do with what the Henchmaniacs did to him back in the Arctic. Whatever it was, there was nothing Ford could do to help at that moment. They had to keep sailing and wait until they could see a doctor or go back to his lab again to see if something was truly wrong with him.
Or who knows? Maybe it really was just dehydration that has been messing him up. Whatever the case may be, the best thing for Stan at that moment may have been to just get more rest.
"Get some sleep," Ford suggested as he looked ahead of the boat. "Maybe you'll be better when you wake up. I'll just keep watch up ahead."
"Yeah, yeah, alright," Stan said as he turned over to his side in a more comfortable resting position. "Oh, and Stanford?"
"Yes?"
"I kinda felt that this would go without saying, but in case it doesn't, then, well... Happy Birthday."
Ford glanced back at Stan and smiled warmly. "Happy Birthday, Stanley."
Stan smiled back at him before shutting his eyes. Ford watched him doze off before looking back in the direction they were sailing. He lay on his stomach and rested his head on his arms on the edge of the boat. He continued to just stare off into the distance as the rising sun continued beating down on him from behind. Eventually, he found himself slowly drifting off as well. Struggling to stay awake, his eyes shut and he fell fast asleep as well. The two twins were soon knocked out cold as they continued to calmly sail ahead.
CRASH!
The loud booming of crackling thunder was more than enough to startle Ford awake. He rubbed his eyes as he sat back up and proceeded to look above. His eyes bulged in fear as he immediately noticed the ominous, dark grey clouds starting to paint over the blue sky. A large storm had been in the works for some time and their small inflatable boat was about to become a victim of it. Daylight was quickly fading as the sun started to hide underneath the dark clouds. As they rushed up above, Ford already began to feel tiny droplets of drizzle splash against the exposed skin of his face and hands.
"Good Lord…" Ford said quietly to himself, growing nervous.
He turned back around in the boat and saw that his brother was still asleep.
"Stanley!" Ford called out to him as the winds began picking up. "Stanley! Get up!"
Stan didn't move a bit, too deep in his sleep to hear a thing he said. Ford then began moving over toward him as fast as he could to wake him up. It wouldn't have been a difficult task if the ground wasn't so rubbery and the boat wasn't starting to move more violently.
"STANLEY!" Ford shouted again as he put his hands on his arm and started shaking him. "WAKE UP!"
Stan snorted as he finally opened his eyes, not having a clue what was happening. "W-wha…?"
"Get up, Stan! Quickly!" Ford told him as he began moving back to the front of the boat.
Slightly disoriented, Stan was about to ask him why. However, one quick glance up above at the impending supercell they were about to float directly under was enough warning for him. To add to that warning, a large flash of lightning struck in the near distance, along with another thunderous boom that sent a chill down his spine.
"Oh sh-" he mouthed quietly before turning back to his brother, who returned to his place at the front of the inflatable. "So, uh... Stanford? Really hoping you have a plan here…"
"I do have a plan," Ford nodded back at him. "We face it head-on."
Stan's eyes bulged in horror. "Could you have possibly come up with a worse plan?"
"Yeah, I could've suggested getting out and swimming!" Ford argued.
"Alright, point taken…" Stan admitted. "But that doesn't make this plan any less stupid!"
"We're on an inflatable boat without an engine, rows, or anything to steer us, Stanley!" Ford reminded him, shouting through the winds and crashing waves as the storm progressively became more aggressive. "I admit, it's not a plan I take pride in, but it's the best we can do for now!" he told Stan as he turned himself forward again. "NOW, HOLD ON!"
Stan sat in his place in the back of the boat and gripped onto two handles at the bottom as tightly as he could. He tried to look up, but the rain soon came pouring down hard and droplets smeared all over the lens of his glasses. He wanted to clear them, but the waves were becoming very aggressive, and just about every second, the boat rocked violently from side to side. While he wanted to clear his lenses and see what was happening, he felt safer just holding onto the two handles.
Ford continued to take a stand at the front of the boat, trying his hardest to keep viewing out ahead of them. It wasn't easy, as the distant fog and heavy rain were making it really difficult.
Suddenly, a large wave overshadowed the front of the boat, catching Ford off guard as it crashed right on top of him and the boat itself. Ford yelped as he got slammed down to the floor of the boat by the water. Stan also suddenly felt the pouring of water from the wave, whimpering slightly in fear as he still couldn't see a thing that was going on.
"You still with me, Sixer?!" Stan called out to Ford, growing slightly concerned.
"I'm here! I'm fine!" Ford assured him as he got back on his feet. "God, I've had it with these damn waves!"
Another large shadow suddenly cast over them, with Stan noticing it due to the increase in darkness. "Why is it getting darker?"
Ford turned around as he noticed the shadow too. His eyes bulged and his mouth hung agape as he came to view an even bigger wave. Growing up on a beach, Ford had seen a bunch of fairly large waves in his time. But the wave that overshadowed them was possibly bigger than any wave he had ever seen before.
"STANLEY! WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T LET GO OF THOSE HANDLES!" Ford warned.
"YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME TWICE!" Stan replied, gripping the handles even tighter with this warning.
Ford kneeled down at the front of the boat and got down on his knees. He then reached his hands and gripped the boat handles parallel to the ones Stan held onto. He looked at the giant wave that they were close to making direct contact with and took a deep breath for his life.
Right before making contact with the wave, another wave formed directly behind them, spawning a second wave that suddenly propelled them forward. The wave caught Ford by surprise as he turned back to look at the wave they were riding. He looked up at saw how close they were to the giant wave and began screaming.
The wave they were riding was on their side, however. It not only propelled them forward but rose them even higher into the air before making its crash against the rest of the water. This resulted in the Stans being sent flying forward, crashing directly through the middle of the giant wave and out the other side. The impact of the wave had sent Ford flying back toward Stan in the back of the boat. The brothers then screamed for their lives as they flew through the air, eventually settling as they landed back into the water, which seemed to have gotten a bit calmer.
Head lying on his brother's lap, Ford opened his eyes soon after and noticed they were okay. He leaned back up and looked around at his surroundings. The storm seemed to have suddenly taken a small break, as the hard rain turned back to drizzle and the high winds seemed to slow back down to small gusts. The waves weren't all that violent anymore either. The sky was still covered in dark clouds, so it was only a matter of time before they found out whether they had faced most of the storm or if it was brewing something worse.
Either way, Ford couldn't help but smile in celebration of their survival, having just flown through a giant wave. "HAHAHA!"
"What?" Stan asked, finally working the courage to take a split second to wipe his glasses. "What happened? Is it over?"
"Probably not," Ford said honestly. "I'm just happy to be alive. That was thrilling!"
"You think this is thrilling?" Stan asked, dumbfounded. "Weren't you the one who used to be too scared to go on a slide because of how high it was? A slide that was only five feet tall?"
"Ironic, I know," Ford shrugged off, not ashamed of his past. "But think of it, Stan. We just flew through a giant wave in an inflatable boat! We shouldn't even be alive right now!" He chuckled as he examined the inflatable itself. "I designed this backup myself, but even I wasn't sure about how well it would hold up. Especially after losing the engine so quickly. Maybe she can handle more than I thought."
"Including large sea monsters?" Stan asked.
"Well, that's a bit broad," Ford replied as he thought over it. "I don't doubt that some creatures may be more than capable of destroying it, but I believe we can withstand a fair bit too."
"Well, let's hope that thing is one we can withstand," Stan told Ford as he pointed off in a direction to the left of them.
Ford turned to look where Stan was pointing and noticed that there was a large head of some sort punching through the water. The darkness caused by the storm made it difficult to identify, but he thought it looked familiar. The head appeared to move slowly at an angle that got closer to them, but not directly toward them.
"I think... we've seen that thing before…" Ford told Stan, stroking his chin curiously.
Once the head got close enough, Ford was able to make note of some characteristics. The head in itself was generally a red shade, but accompanying it were spots of blue and purple.
A lightbulb lit above Ford's head. "A Snacken!"
"What? You mean one of those cereal-loving octopuses that tried to kill us on our way to the Arctic?" Stan asked, beginning to become somewhat panicked.
"Yes, yes, I know. But there's no need to worry," Ford insisted.
"Why not? That thing nearly tore the Stan O' War II apart!" Stan reminded him. "When we still had it…"
"Well, I have a strong feeling that this could be that same Snacken we encountered previously," Ford explained. "Having sailed as far from the Arctic as we have to find a Snacken that had traveled just as far as us in the same time frame, I find it unlikely that we could have stumbled upon an entirely new one."
"New one or old one, it's still a giant, ugly octopus that will try to kill us!" Stan said worriedly.
"I don't think so," Ford said as he examined the Snacken from the distance. "Something else I learned when studying these creatures is that they become neutral toward those who had previously fed them. And we fed it a box of Frooby Frebbles before. If this is the same one, then perhaps it remembers us."
Suddenly, their boat was rocked violently, causing the two to fall down. They looked up and immediately saw the Snacken rising right above them. As the two were looking at and talking to one another before, they had failed to notice that the Snacken had noticed them and made an immediate beeline for their boat. It lunged itself at the twins and let out a loud, angry roar right in their faces.
Ford was immediately struck with fear again. "NEVERMIND! IT DOESN'T REMEMBER US! IT DOES NOT REMEMBER US!"
"YEAH, I WAS ABOUT TO SAY- THAT DOESN'T SOUND VERY NEUTRAL!" Stan shouted at him, just as startled.
The Snacken reached one of its tentacles for Ford, but he jumped backward out of its grasp. Instead, the Snacken's tentacle made contact with the boat itself. With its heavy weight, the side Stan and Ford sat on was lifted upwards as the tentacle splashed the other end down. They began sliding down the other end, but this was soon stopped as the Snacken lifted its tentacle back up, bringing the other side of the boat back up and evening out both ends.
"GREAT! HOW ARE WE GONNA GET OUT OF THIS ONE?!" Stan asked Ford amidst their panic.
"IT'S HUNGRY! IT JUST NEEDS TO BE FED!" Ford said, reminding him of the Snacken's aggressive behavior when hungry.
Stan looked around the boat quickly and noticed the half-eaten toast that he had tossed over at Ford earlier in the day. As it sat soaked up in a puddle of ocean water, he quickly grabbed it.
"How about a knuckle sandwich? Except with a hundred percent less knuckle!" he shouted as he threw the soaked-up toast at the Snacken.
"STANLEY! NO!"
Seeing what was thrown at it, the Snacken opened its mouth for the expected food. It took in the wet, salty toast and swallowed it. Almost immediately after, it began screeching violently as it backed up slightly from the boat.
"HAHA!" Stan shouted victoriously. "I did it, Sixer! I saved us! And I managed to work in a neat joke with it too!"
"First of all, Stan, your jokes are terrible," Ford said bluntly, rolling his eyes. "Second, WHY THE HELL DID YOU FEED IT THAT TOAST?!"
"You said it was hungry! So, I fed it!" Stan told him. "Look at it! It's reacting just like it did when we fed it the cereal! It loves it!"
"No, it doesn't! Snackens like sugary foods! They LOATHE the taste of salt and it only increases their aggressive tendencies!" Ford explained. "And with that toast soaking up all that salty ocean water? You're just pissing it off even more!"
"Hold on! If they hate salt so much, why do they swim in the ocean?" Stan asked.
"THIS ISN'T ITS HOME DIMENSION, YA KNUCKLEHEAD!" Ford angrily scolded. "THEY SWIM IN CANDY-FLAVORED OCEANS, NOT SALTY SEAS!"
"Huh, candy-flavored oceans? Our dimension is missing out on a lot," Stan said.
"THAT'S NOT THE GODDAMN POINT!" Ford scolded further before thinking about it. "Although, perhaps the salt water is a natural aggravator for them and that's why it doesn't remember us! Combined with the hunger, that basically provides for the highest potential aggression from them."
Suddenly, the Snacken reappeared directly behind the boat, roaring angrily as it flailed its tentacles at them.
"Also, combined with that toast you gave it..." Ford added as he stared back up at the angry Snacken.
"Gee..." Stan said as he rolled his eyes at Ford. "I appreciate the last-minute jab, Six-"
Before Stan could finish his remark, the Snacken very suddenly and swiftly smacked him right off the boat with one of its tentacles, sending him flying in another direction for a moment.
"STANLEY!" Ford cried out as he saw Stan soar away from the boat.
Stan made a violent crash against the water, managing to sink a few feet under as a result of the Snacken's strength. He soon floated back up to the surface, but the Snacken's hit was hard enough to knock him out cold. Fortunately, he had managed to float back up on his back, allowing him to still be able to breathe with his head and mouth still facing upward, above water.
However, he had been smacked too far away from the boat for Ford to make this observation. All he saw in the distance was his brother's body floating on the water with small waves pushing him away, completely unable to tell if he had survived or not.
"STANLEY!" Ford called out again.
The Snacken gave a loud, vicious roar yet again, prompting Ford to turn back to it. He immediately saw how it was about to strike down another one of its tentacles back on the boat, and potentially him. At this point, Ford knew the inflatable was unsavable. He had no clue how it hadn't popped long before, but there was no way it would withstand yet another direct Snacken hit. It may have been the only thing keeping them from swimming, but at that point, it didn't matter much to him anymore.
Ford turned away from the Snacken and promptly dove into the water at the same time the Snacken's tentacle came crashing down on the inflatable. As Ford predicted, the impact decimated the boat and sent their backpacks flying off in separate directions.
Head popping back out of the water, Ford began swimming as fast he could toward Stan's unconscious body. There was a fair distance between the two of them, but without the boat, there was no reason for him to not make an attempt to close the gap.
"I'M COMING, STANLEY!" Ford called out again despite knowing he probably couldn't hear him.
Despite his efforts to reach his brother, Ford was barely able to catch up by more than a few feet before he felt one of the Snacken's tentacles wrap around him, pulling him out of the water.
"NOOO!" Ford cried out as he desperately attempted to squeeze out of its initial grasp.
He realized his attempt had failed as he soon found himself at eye level with the creature itself. For such a brightly colored and beautiful-looking creature, it had one of the most horrifying angry sides that he had ever faced in an abnormal creature before. Continuous attempts were made to free himself from the creature's grasp again but all were unsuccessful. Realizing he was tightly embedded within the Snacken's tentacle, he didn't have many choices for escape.
That was until he recalled a tactic he had used to escape a similar situation just a few days prior. One that he didn't consider very favorable, but he had no other choice. He looked directly into the Snacken's eyes again as he gave a stern, yet guilty look.
"Forgive me for this," Ford told the Snacken before he leaned his head down, opening his mouth wide before giving a sharp bite on the Snacken's soft, fleshy tentacle.
The bite immediately inflicted a sharp pain in the Snacken, as it gave off a wincing screech. However, it still didn't let go of Ford. Instead, as it recovered from the bite, it gave him an angry glare as it began growling.
"Uh, oh," Ford said nervously upon realizing his mistake.
The Snacken gave out one final roar of pure anger before lifting Ford further up in the air and swiftly pitching him across the ocean. Ford screamed as he quickly flew at a downward angle while still being propelled forward quite a bit. The throw sent him even farther than the hit had sent Stan, as he saw himself pass over him. As he looked ahead, he braced himself for the upcoming impact with the water, shutting his eyes tightly and holding his breath.
Eventually, he crashed hard into the water, sinking a few feet below as a result of the sheer strength of the throw. He ascended back to the top unconscious, body turning upwards, which gave him the ability to breathe as he floated just like Stan. Still, the brutal impact of the water was enough to knock him out.
Meanwhile, the Snacken had made a retreat in another direction, leaving the two knocked-out brothers alone as they continued to float slowly along the ocean current. The storm above appeared to start dissipating, with the winds and waves calming down as the sun started to pierce through the thinning clouds.
When Ford came to, he didn't immediately realize he was waking up. Instead, he let himself lay for a few minutes with his eyes shut. But after those few minutes, he became aware of his own consciousness, feeling the heat of the beaming sun against his face. If he had let this go on any further, he knew he'd be risking a bad sunburn. He opened his eyes as he slowly sat up from the ground. Disoriented, he rubbed his eyes and face, both of which were very tender from making such hard direct contact with the ocean hours ago.
As his disorientation slowly faded, he eventually realized that he was sitting on an actual surface rather than floating in the middle of the ocean. Wet sand, to be precise. As he glanced around quickly, he realized he was sitting on a sandy beach, his legs making contact with the ocean as waves breached the shore.
"Land…" he said to himself as he rubbed his hands through the sand. "Already? God, how long have I been out?"
"HMMMMPHHHH!" shouted a sudden muffled noise that sounded vaguely like his brother.
"Stanley?" Ford questioned as he quickly looked around the beach for his brother. Not immediately spotting him, he stood back up on his feet to get a better view. "Stanley?!"
"HMMMMMMMMMMMPHHHHHHHH!"
"GAH!" Ford shouted as he looked right behind him. His eyes then widened in slight surprise at what he saw right before him. "S-Stanley?"
"Hmmmmphh."
Right in front of him stood Stan. However, there was a small creature that appeared to have wrapped itself around his head.
Upon a longer look, Ford made out the details of the creature, with the color scheme very reminiscent of a Snacken's. Red with blue and purple spots. As he looked around Stan, he was able to spot the eyes and confirmed that it was, indeed, a much smaller Snacken. Presumably an infant. Certainly, a very young one, as its size didn't compare to the one that they had faced before. While the previous one was larger than the sum of five adult elephants, this one was only about the size of a small fishbowl. Its tentacles were wrapped around Stan's neck and the rest of his head appeared to be stuck in its mouth.
"Oh, boy," Ford said, cracking a slight smile out of amusement at the sight, suppressing his urge to laugh. "How you feeling there, Stanley?"
"HMMMMMPHHHH HMMMMMPHHHH HMMPH HMMPH HMMMMMMPH!" Stan shouted angrily, voice still muffled inside the Snacken's mouth.
While Ford couldn't make out a single intelligible word from what he said, his demand was clear. "Alright, alright! I'll get it off you!"
He placed his hands on the little Snacken and began to pull, although the Snacken had a very good grasp of Stan and wasn't easy to pull away. Still, Ford used every ounce of force he had within him, grunting as he pulled as hard as he could.
"Let's... hope... I don't... tear off... your head... WITH IT!"
He popped the Snacken right off of Stan's head, which upon first sight, was completely red. Stan took some heavy gasps for air as he breathed heavily. He wiped his face clean of Snacken saliva with his shirt.
"Thanks, Sixer…" Stan thanked as he looked at his brother, before glancing back at the Snacken in his hands. "GAH! It's one of those!"
"Relax!" Ford said, gesturing for him to calm down. "It's just a young one! Look at it!"
Stan raised his hands in protest as he backed up. "I think I've seen more than enough of that thing! Get rid of it! Throw it away! I don't want anything to do with it!"
He stomped away from the shore and up the beach, leaving Ford alone with the Snacken in hand.
"Aw, c'mon, Stanley! It's a cute little thing!" Ford insisted.
Despite his attempts to convince Stan, he had already walked far enough, making it clear he didn't want to see it anymore.
"Such a drama queen he can be."
Ford walked back down to the edge of the shore where the waves kept coming in. He held out the baby Snacken with only one of his hands toward the ocean.
"Well, little fella. It was nice to meet you, but you don't quite belong to us," Ford told it, the Snacken looking right back at him with its large, youthful eyes. "Be free."
Ford shook his hand, attempting to drop the Snacken back into the ocean. However, the Snacken wrapped its little tentacles around his hand, refusing to let go.
"Oh, c'mon now..." Ford said as he tried to pull the Snacken's tentacles loose from his hand. "You have a family somewhere to go back to. Go on."
Still, the Snacken continued to refuse, keeping a tight grip on Ford's hand. A hold tight enough to start cutting off his blood flow, which he found to become quite uncomfortable by the minute.
"C'mon, you!" Ford exclaimed as he tried more forcefully to pull the Snacken away. After a brief struggle, he managed to successfully pull it off his hand, holding it up by its head so its tentacles couldn't reach him quite as easily. "There we go," he said as he proceeded to place the Snacken back into the ocean. "There. Now be free!"
As Ford walked away from it, the baby Snacken's eyes narrowed. It then proceeded to speedily crawl its way back over to him. Following quietly behind him, it jumped and latched itself right around his ankle, prompting him to stop.
"What the...?" Ford questioned as he looked back down at his ankle, spotting the Snacken. But rather than getting angry that it wouldn't go away, he was charmed by its persistence. "You're a determined little one, aren't ya?"
He bent down and held its hand out to it, to which the Snacken immediately latched onto from his leg. Ford held it back up in front of him and examined it. He smiled.
"Interesting. Definitely not as aggressive as who I presume might've been your mother," Ford said, thinking back to the female Snacken that had tried to kill him and Stan earlier.
He then began to ponder the idea of letting the baby Snacken go. In the short time he had spent in the Colorful Creature dimension, he didn't have too long to get to know these creatures any more than the basic info he had learned about them. The idea of bringing the little Snacken back to Gravity Falls for further study seemed like it could be beneficial knowledge for understanding the creature more. And it didn't appear to want to go back into the ocean, which he felt made the idea a bit more acceptable. If it was any normal Earth sea creature, he would continue pushing it until it left.
However, this was a being from another dimension. While its mother may have been out there, it probably wouldn't be wise to let it back into the open ocean where it could possibly reproduce with normal octopuses and risk potential havoc in their own dimension.
"Perhaps it's best that I take you back with us for ethical study," Ford told it with a smile. He also knew that in other cases, letting the abnormal creature back into the ocean would make it accessible to other scientists who might plan on doing terrible things to it. Being someone who has an actual understanding of weirdness like the Snacken, he knew how to treat it best without causing any harm. "Alright, you're coming along."
The Snacken made a very quiet little squealing noise and waved its tentacles around happily as if it was responding to Ford's statement. Ford was surprised by its ability to understand him and clearly emote the way that it did. It then crawled from his hand to his back and planted itself on his jacket, causing Ford to chuckle.
"I'll have to find a better place to put you than my back."
For a moment, he thought of using his backpack. However, he quickly realized that it was likely long gone with the remains of the inflatable boat when it was destroyed. A small additional annoyance due to the navigating tools he had carried along in it, but admittedly, it wasn't his biggest concern at that moment.
He proceeded to walk up the beach with the Snacken to get back to Stan and let him know that he was bringing it back to Gravity Falls with them. Something he knew he was going to initially protest due to it being wrapped around his head before, but he truly didn't care for his opinion, knowing he didn't have the same passion for weirdness that he did.
Once he reached the edge of the beach, he spotted Stan standing still, looking away from him. He promptly walked over, ready to reveal the Snacken.
"Stanley, you're probably not gonna like this, but I've decided I'm bringing the little Snacken back with us to Gravity Falls for studying," he told him as he stepped up beside him with his back facing him to show the Snacken. "Also, there's nothing you can do to change my mind."
However, Stan didn't respond or even appear to react to him. Instead, he continued to stand frozen in place, staring straight forward with his mouth agape. He appeared shocked as if he had just seen something truly scarring or unbelievable.
Ford waved his hand out in front of Stan's face, trying to grab his attention. "Hello? Stan? Is everything okay?"
With one hand, Stan grabbed his wrist and stopped him from waving in front of him. With his other hand, he pointed up above right ahead of him.
"Look at the sign, Poindexter..."
Ford turned his head where Stan was pointing, just noticing that there was an active city right beside the beach. People were riding bicycles, driving cars, and just passing by on the sidewalks. Small buildings and parlors selling food and other goods to obvious tourists in the area. In the distance, there was also a strangely familiar pier a few miles away. These were things Ford noticed before he laid eyes on the sign that Stan was talking about.
And upon reading it, he became just as shocked.
The two brothers stood completely frozen, mouths hung wide open, staring directly at a sign that read 'Glass Shard Beach: Home of Glass Shard Water Toffee!'
Glass Shard Beach, New Jersey
"I-I don't believe it…" Ford managed to say through his shock, mind racing in multiple different directions at that moment.
Stan's eye twitched as he continued to reread the sign over and over. He wanted to make sure he wasn't hallucinating, although half of him kind of hoped that he was. But through every reread of the sign, he found himself mentally saying the same words. He almost didn't want to admit it.
But he did.
"We're... home…"
(Updated as of December 23, 2022)