Welcome back to another chapter! This one was a little tricky to write but I had fun writing it and I really hope you guys like it. I set myself a goal of 5.000 words and I almost, almost made it. Even though I didn't quite reach the mark, the chapter turned out to be longer that the last few ones.

WARNING: (contains sopilers!) trigger warnings for a strong panic attack towards the end of the chapter, and some very, very small smut at the beginning. It's barely even there, though.

Thank you all for your kind comments on the last chapter and your encouraging words on my personal situation. This past week has been better and I hope it stays that way.

I'm also waiting patiently (NOT) to see your thoughts on this new chapter. Enjoy!

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Chapter 6: You've become pushy over the years

Alex's body felt heavy and his eyes burned when he tried to open them. He was so tired.

He decided to sleep for another minute before trying to fully wake up again.

It was at least half an hour later when his conciousness began to surface again. He was so, so tired.

But with a heavy groan and as much resolve as he could muster, he turned to face the ceiling, one arm above his head and the other one scratching an itch on his chest. He yawned.

Judging by the slit of light coming in through the window (he still hated sleeping with the shutters completely up) he figured he'd slept longer than usual, even on vacation. He reached for his phone on the bedside table and stared unbelievingly at the time. It was past midday. In fact, it was nearing three o'clock. Damn.

He also checked for messages or missed calls, but the only message staring back at him was a notification saying the battery was fully charged. He pluged it out.

Deciding to just go ahead and do it, the blond went through his recent call history and dialed Vict's number. He wasn't sure what he was going to say since he was still coming out of his sleepy haze and hadn't thought much beyond the fact he wanted to hear his boyfriend's voice and make sure he'd made it through his first night out of the hospital alright. Alex knew the other boy had had a headache when he'd left the night before and that wasn't good for his recovery.

But the tone dialed endlessly and eventually the answering machine was the only thing he heard. He ended the call.

Vict's phone was on, but he was ignoring him. Alex sighed and opened the message app.

*Can we talk?*

No reply.

*I can explain better*

The phone remained silent for another few minutes.

*Please s'more"

Alex hoped the use of their nickname would stir Vict's forgiving streak. They'd been calling each other s'mores ever since Vict made a silly joke about american movies and they'd set out to actually try out the dessert americans were so fond of. He'd say they had to taste good, all hard cookie on the outside and soft melted sugar on the inside.

'Kind of like you' Vict said while licking a strip of his skin from the bottom of his neck to his chin. Alex laughed and stretched his neck to give him more room.

'You know sweat isn't supposed to be sweet' they'd just finished a round of romantic late night activities and Alex had been dripping wet from the exertion, in more ways than one.

'You're sweet on the inside' oh... and didn't that just sound like enough dirty talk to get him going again. Vict simply continued to lick and kiss him until suddenly he felt teeth sinking softly into his skin.

'Ow!' he fakely complained just to hear the laugh that followed.

'And hard on the outside' Vict said suggestively and Alex just couldn't believe the tricks the other boy could pull off to rattle his composure.

'Like a s'more?' Alex guessed, remembering the movie they'd been watching before. He groaned in faked annoyance 'We didn't finish the movie... again' Vict shrugged.

'I'd rather have my own s'more right now' he answered while working his way down, down, down on Alex's body until the blond couldn't think of anything else.

The s'more thing had started out as a dirty joke between them, but eventually they started using it outside the bedroom and it became a term of endearment. It got stuck.

Alex could only hope Vict saw his using it as a sign he was willing to patch things up.

No such luck. His phone remained silent and his resolve faltered. He'd insist again after having some breakfast- lunch, his brain corrected. Whatever, he told himself.

Though his stomach grumbled, he was in no hurry to leave his small coccoon, so it was maybe twenty minutes later when he opened his bedroom door and made his way outside.

The first thought that crossed his mind was how silent the apartment was, considering it was plain day and Eagle was around, which led him to believe he'd been left alone, contrary to what they had talked about the night before.

"Ben?" he called out just to make sure while he walked out of the hallway and into the livingroom.

"He's not here" Alex yelped at the sound of a voice coming right from behind him and instinct took over quickly, making him throw an elbow back and turning around to assest a blow with his closed fist. He didn't even register the pain such a sudden move brought to his neck "Wow! Okay, hey!" Eagle was fast enough himself to avoid the elbow strike and stop Alex's fist in midair.

"Eagle! What the hell?" Alex's heart was racing a marathon inside his chest. If he'd been sleepy before, he was certainly awake now. He took an abrupt step back and ran a nervous hand through his hair.

"That's what I should say!" the soldier replied, shaking the hand he'd used to stop Alex's attack.

"Don't sneak up on me like that" the blond berated trying unsuccessfully to keep a nervous laugh from escaping his lips "Bloody hell" he cursed instead.

"I wasn't sneaking up. I heard you waking up and just came out of my room"

"Yeah, all silent like" Alex retorted accusingly which earned him a confused frown from the older man.

"Cub, that door creaks everytime it moves" true, Alex thought. They'd talked about fixing it for some time now but never found the time to actually do it "So... are you okay?" Eagle asked when Alex drifted off for a moment. The blond shook his head to focus back on the present.

"Yeah" he answered, making his way into the kitchen after his stomach complained again "How come you didn't wake me sooner?" Eagled shrugged, following him while he opened cupboards in search of some cereal. Then he remembered he was supposed to be having lunch and turned to open the fridge.

"You needed your rest. And Fox said he'd throw me out if I so much as sneezed while you slept" Alex rolled his eyes at Ben's predictable mother henning. He closed the fridge dissappointed at finding it empty.

"So where did he go?"

"He went hunting for information"

"Hunting for MI6 you mean" Alex asked, making his way into the livingroom again and sitting carefully on the couch. He mentally slapped himself for missing his morning dosage of painkillers. He sighed.

"More like looking for Ian. Ian is it?" Eagle asked, not sure if he'd gotten the name right. Alex nodded.

"You think I should've gone with him? He's my uncle after all" Eagled focused his gaze on him managing to make him feel uncomfortable with the seriousness of his expression. He'd seen Eagle in action, he even remembered what he'd been like during his short training period with the unit, before they managed to get along so well, so he knew the man was capable of acting according to his age when the situation called for it. But those times had been far and few in between, at least when Alex was present. So seeing the normally silly and joking man staring so intently at him was something relatively new and somewhat unsettling.

"Do you actually want to see him?" the blond took his time to answer such a delicate question. Did he want to? Seeing Ian at the hospital had been disastrous enough. Would he be able to handle sitting down and actually have a conversation with the man?

"I feel like if I see him I'm either gonna cry or hit him. I don't want to do either" he added after drawing the most sencere conclusion he could from his troubled thoughts.

"Then you're better off staying away. For now anyway" it was his turn to stare at Eagle, somewhat amazed at how much his opinion mattered to him and the level of trust he had in this man. A man that wasn't even that much older than him. Eagle was the youngest member of K-unit, making him the one closest to Alex in age. The blond truly counted himself lucky when he thought about the family he'd found within this unit of completely different personalities and lives, all connected by the bond of having each other's back in combat. Family. K-unit, Ben, Ben's parents. They were all his family now, so what did that make Ian? After having abandonned him for six years, what was Ian to him?

Alex sighed defeated. He didn't know how to answer that question.

"What am I supposed to do all day then?" Eagle made his own way into the couch.

"Just sit tight and wait. Relax for a bit"

"Right" he answered, slapping his hands against his tighs before getting back on his feet "Let's go" sit and wait? No thanks.

"Wheeeere?" Eagle asked suspicious.

"In case you haven't noticed, there's no food in there" the blond stated signaling to the kitchen. The soldier snorted.

"I noticed, believe me"

"Great. Then we'll go get some. It's my turn to buy the groceries anyway" he and Ben had this system, they planned their grocery shopping so the food would last approximately two weeks and though sometimes they managed to go to the store together, usually they went on their own, their schedules not exactly in synch with each other.

"I don't think it's a good idea for you to be out and about right now" the other man said, unable to hide the worried frown on his face. Alex wasn't having it.

"Unless you plan on surviving on air and water for the next 15 days, we're going. Besides, life goes on, right? Just because someone's out to get me doesn't mean we have to starve, so come on" he finished, waving Eagle to get off the couch.

"You've become pushy over the years" the blond laughed.

"I learned from the best"

"Touché"

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He was actually glad to step out of the building right after he'd changed. It only took someone telling him he shouldn't leave a place to feel trapped in it, no matter how free he really was to come and go as he pleased.

What he hadn't expected to feel, though, was so utterly exposed. The minute he and Eagle began walking down the street towards the food store, he started glancing almost obssesively behind them every ten or fifteen seconds. He had never stopped being paranoid but he'd managed to keep his worries under control for the past couple of years. Now he could only think about getting shot in front of the bank, getting kidnapped in Kiev and, more recently, being hit by another car. Knowing someone was after him now, what should he be preparing himself for? Another gun shot wound, another crash? Alex began to rub his right thumb into his left palm, another nervous gesture Ben had been kind enough to point out.

He let out a sigh of relief when they walked into the supermarket.

"Lead the way" Eagle gestured when he took control of the market car. Alex had to chuckle at the bizarre sight of a soldier doing something as domestic as grocery shopping. He remembered having the same impression the first few times Ben took him out on a homey chore, back when they first started living together. Those times seemed so far away now...

The blond wasn't paying much attention to his task, mainly because he new the place by heart already and he walked swiftly from aisle to aisle grabbing their usual items. It wasn't until Eagle pointed out he'd already put three bags of frozen peas into the car that he got a hold of his wandering thoughts, which had been straying towards his boyfriend.

He put back in the freezer the two extra bags of peas and continued his way with Eagle right behind him. The older man added his own cravings here and there while they waked through the halls.

Alex reached for his phone to check, unnecessarily, for any notification. The phone hadn't buzzed inside his pocket since he'd put it there. He decided to write another text.

*You alive?*

When they finished going through the store and got in line to pay and still there was no answer on his phone, Alex's worries did nothing but grow. He had the feeling Vict was merely ignoring him, not wanting to deal with his complicated life anymore, but there was also the distinct possibility of him being laid out in bed under a crushing headache like the first night at the hospital.

Alex wanted nothing more than to blow up Vict's phone with messages and calls but he also didn't want to push him to the point of no return. What should he do? Should he go back to his place and plant himself there until they talked? Wait for him to reach out on his own? What if he never did?

With a scowl on his face, he put his phone away and stared moodily at the line in front of them.

"No word from him?" Eagle asked, probably guessing what he'd been doing. Alex shook his head but didn't utter a word. Then he felt guilty at his apparently ingrained ability to make Eagle pay for his foul mood.

"I'm sorry you had to be put on Cub duty while on leave" the blond offered more calmly than he thought possible at the moment. Eagle shrugged his shoulders and patted him on his.

"Don't worry about it. What better way to spend my vacation than with my favorite partner in crime?" Alex glanced at him with suspicion in his eyes.

"I seriously can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not" they advanced a few steps on the line.

"Loosen up Cubby. I didn't have anything better to do"

"Now I don't know if you´re insulting me"

"And you never will" the soldier said theatrically, finally managing to make Alex smile in amusement. The cashier called them forward.

Eagle offered to pay though Alex insisted he didn´t have to, but the soldier got away with it by flirting with the woman, who accepted his card instead of Alex's. He made sure to let Eagle know the unfairness of the challenge, seeing as Alex didn´t really know how to flirt.

"Unless it's a guy" Eagle remarked.

"Not really, no"

"Then how exactly did you and Vict get together?" they each picked a couple of bags and made their way outside.

"Trust me, you don't want to know" that had been a difficult path to follow...

Thankfully, their walk back home was less stressful than before. Alex had the feeling Eagle had picked up on his paranoia earlier on and was doing his best to distract him from it, not without failing to keep an eye out for trouble himself.

The thing about paranoia is that it was a double edged sword. If you let yourself get consumed by it, you could fail to distinguish the real danger from the one your head often conjures up. Alex sometimes stumbled over the fine line that divided them.

They made it home without incident.

While Eagle set off to put the frozen pizza they'd gotten for their late lunch in the oven, Alex went to put the groceries away. He was still hungry, his stomach reminding him of the fact he hadn't eaten anything since the day before, and though he'd agreed to share the pizza with the man, he didn't think he could stomach more than a few slices. He guessed it was a good thing Ben wasn't around to berate him for it, unless he'd also put Eagle to the task. That argument was going to be fun, he thought ironically.

Apparently though, that day was the international day of not answering the phone when Alex called. Except, unlike Vict who'd just let the call go to voice mail, his brother had intentionally rejected the call.

"Don't stress" Eagle said around a mouthfull of pizza once they sat down on the table "He'll tell you everything when he gets back"

For once, Alex listened to him and set the phone aside while he finished nibbling on his slice of pizza or he risked getting the urge to throw up the food. Sometimes his stomach did rebel when he was stressed, not that anyone needed to know that.

Hours passed and Alex was still no closer to either knowing where Ben was or how Vict was doing, so it was no surprise that when his phone started buzzing repeatedly on the bedside table, he jumped and dived for it before the call could end. He was back in his room, so at least he'd get some privacy.

He sighed in relief when he saw Vict's name on the screen. Him reaching out had to he a good sign, right? Alex quickly answered the call, clearing his throat of all evidence of desperarion in his tone.

"Hey, Vict-"

"Not quite" said a voice from the other end of the line "He says hi though" whatever relief he'd felt at seeing who the call was from quicky died down to be replaced by confusion and a good dose of trepidation.

"Who are you?" he asked, dreading whatever answer might come next. A ton of scenarios had begun to play out in his mind that would explain someone else answering Vict's phone for him, none of them boding anything good for him.

"We'll get to that"

"Where's Victor?" had the other boy asked soneone else to speak to him because he didn't want to? That seemed a bit too far stretched for the situation, no matter how mad Vict was. And if he had, he was pretty sure it would have been Leyla using the phone.

"We'll also get to that" Alex was liking this less and less. He didn't even bother to mask his annoyance next.

"Quit playing games. Who the hell are you?" the voice of the man became even more taunting than before.

"I see patience is going to be an issue with you, Rider. Or can I call you Alex?" his breathing got stuck for an instant before he was able to digest the words. This was the man, the threat Ian had come to warn him about, the one after him. It had to be.

"Where's Victor?" he asked again with clenched teeth. If this man had Vict, if he'd hurt him... Alex heard him sigh deeply, as if he was being an unreasonable child.

"He's close by"

"Put him on the phone" he demanded, trying not to make his voice sound scared or desperate.

"I could but he wouldn't be able to speak through the gag" except remaining calm wasn't easy to do when the man said things like that. Gagged…

"How do I know you really have him?" whoever this man was, they could have just stolen his phone, right?

"Oh, I could make him scream through it, if you like"

"No! No. Don't you dare hurt him!" he hissed into the phone. Please don't hurt him "What do you want?"

"First, I want you to not tell anyone about this particular situation. Then, I want us to meet" he screwed his eyes shut and covered the bottom of his phone with a hand so the other man wouldn't hear his agitated breathing. He had managed to stay out of trouble for so long now, he thought hopeless. He wasn't naive, he knew he shared part of the blame from how his life had turned out to be so far, sticking his nose on occasion where it didn't belong but he'd learned his lesson. Staying out of everyone's bussiness meant staying out of trouble. If he agreed to meet this man and Vict wasn't really with him, if it was a trap, what would he be getting himself into?

Alex's heart plummeted because he knew there was no choice to make, he just couldn't risk it.

"Where?" he asked after taking a deep breath.

"I'll text you the adress. Be there in half an hour. Make sure there're no cops, no friends, no uncles or dear little s'more here gets burnt" s'more... Alex felt as if a bucket of freezing water had been dumped on him at hearing such a private word coming through the phone on this stranger's voice.

"But-"

"30 minutes" repeated the man before the call was ended.

Alex held the phone in a trembling hand, hearing the taunting voice of that man over and over again in his head. The conversation didn't last more than five minutes but it had managed to make the world spin around him, the walls of his bedroom shifting and the floor shaking beneath him.

Or maybe the shaking came from his legs, which were clumsily taking him over to the door where he slumped against it to prevent anyone from walking in unexpectedly. It was when he slightly banged his head on the door and he had completely slid down to the floor that he realized he wasn't breathing.

He gasped reflexively and, once he started, there was no stopping his agitated breathing and the feeling his airways were closing down. He went to bang his fist against the floor, the same way a drowning man would desperately try to break his way out of confinement, but had enough presence of mind to hit his leg instead. He didn't need Eagle knowing what was going on. No one could know or else Vict was going to die and it would be his fault because people always died when they were connected to him. Ian, Jack, his parents. Except Ian wasn't dead and he was back and someone wanted revenge and they had Vict and they were going to hurt him and I left him alone, this is my fault, they want me and they got him, they have him and if he dies, he can't die, not Vict, not him, I, I can't. Not him.

It was focusing on that single thought, not him, that Alex found the strenght to fight the terror threatening to consume him. He hadn't had a panic attack that strong in at least over a year and he had no one to help him through it because Ben was still nowhere to be seen and Eagle just couldn't know!

Eagle.

How was he going to leave without Eagle noticing?

But first things first. He'd deal with sneaking out when the time came. For now, he had to calm the fuck down! And slow his breathing or he would get dizzy when he got up the floor, which he needed to do sooner rather than later.

Alex checked the time on his phone. Three minutes. He'd already wasted three minutes.

But he had time, the logical-not-paralized-with-fear part of his brain supplied. He couldn't go face the threat when he was barely able to hold himself up. He needed to appear strong, fearless, confident.

Everything I was. Everything I'm not anymore.

He was going to have to fake it in order to make it.

The blond set his mind to it and slowly got back up on his feet, swearing when his vision began swimming dangerously. Hyperventilation could do that to a person.

Come on Alex! He prompted himself.

He was startled by an incomming message making his phone buzz a few times. The text came from Vict's phone.

It was the address of the place they were supposed to meet at. No particular location came to mind when he read the words, which meant it was a part of the city he'd never been to before. He didn't have Ben's car to make his way there and public transportation would just take too much time. He hoped the taxi cab driver would know where to take him. The next thing he did was make a call to order one.

Then he got changed, switching the knee lenght shorts he'd been wearing for a pair of jeans and taking Vict's former gray sweater again. It was baggier on him, which would serve it's purpose just right.

When he was sure his heartrate had stabilized enough, he tiptoed his way into Ben's room. He could hear Eagle making use of the punching bag in his room, which also served as their home training gym, a sign the soldier was also getting restless with the situation. If Alex hurried, he could find what he was looking for and leave the apartment without the other man hearing a thing.

Once in Ben's room, he went straight for his target: his brother's dresser. Third row to the right, two drawers down. He stuck his hand inside carelessly, not caring if he messed the meticulously folded clothes in his search. He didn't have time for careful.

When his hand made contact with the hard metal, he gripped his fingers around it and brought the object out of the drawer. The gun stared tauntingly back at him, its weight heavier than it should. He hadn't even seen a gun in two years, much less hold one himself.

He checked the magazine. His fingers sliding over the surface of the weapon by muscle memory. When his hand began to tremble slightly though, he hid the gun under the sweater, placing it at the hem of his jeans. He was ready to go.

He made sure to grab money from his own room in order to pay the taxi and then made his way to the front door as silently as he could. How he was able to leave the apartment undetected was a mystery to him, seeing as he felt heavier with every step he took and feeling the gun rattling against his skin every time he moved.

He couldn't believe he was doing this. There was litteraly a fully trained and capable soldier right there with him, someone who could help him, someone who'd be in a better mind set to deal with a ransom meeting and, yet, he was choosing to do this alone, to walk straight into danger alone.

He couldn't risk asking for help though. Not yet. He needed to find out first what that man wanted and how to get Vict back.

He closed the door silently behind him before running down the stairs.

The moment he got into the cab, he knew there was no way back.

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And there you have it people! Things are starting to get shaken up again. And Vict's been kidnapped? What's up with that?

I've been thinking about writing a chapter on Vict's PoV, I'm just not sure where to place the chapter. It could be the next one or it could be the one after that. I still haven't decided.

How is Alex going to deal with the situation? What sort of meeting awaits him at the set location? Stay tuned to find out…

And let me know what you thought about this chapter!