Author's Note:
Set during GA-S2-E25 "17 Seconds", and canon-divergent from there.
bobbiejelly
Some Days They Last Longer Than Others
Dr. Derek Shepherd : What do you want Addison?
Dr. Addison Shepherd : I want you to care. I sleep with your best friend and you walk away. He comes here from New York and rubs it in your face, and still you get a good night's sleep. What do I have to do? Oh, I know. Maybe I should sleep with the vet, because that's what it seems to take to send you into a blind rage. But wait, that won't work either because I'm not Meredith Grey!
After Addison's outburst, she looks down past the stairwell, horrified to find Meredith Grey's eyes right below her.
Shocked, and hurt, Addison sees Meredith turn away from her, and Addison walks away too, and tries to go on with her day until she is confronted inevitably by Richard Webber.
"I can't compete," Addison sighs, as her boss, and former mentor tries to comfort her.
"Everyone has bad days, Addie. Keep it together," Richard Webber voices something along those lines sternly to Addison Montgomery-Shepherd.
"You have no idea what it's like!" Addison protests.
"I have an idea that's more alike than you might think." Richard rebuttals.
And that's how it begins.
"What? You were the dirty mistress Richard, don't pretend like you weren't. You may know what Meredith is feeling now, but me? You have no clue."
"I have a clue as to what living a woman named Dr. Grey looks like," Richard whispers.
"Whoa, wait what?" Says Addison defensively.
"Look me in the eye, and tell me that that isn't true, huh?"
"What me? And Meredith Grey? Who my husband wants to leave me for how could you possibly suggest that Richard!?"
"Addison, I've known you practically since you met Derek and started dating him. I was there when you got married in grad school. And never have I ever seen you upset over him like this. But the moment that she walks into the picture, you're a mess. And trust me, like you said, I know the feeling."
"Richard…"
"It's alright Addie. I'm not going to tell anyone. Lord knows I'd be the worse kind of hypocrite. But I won't be lying to you either. Not as much as you might have been lying to yourself."
"I'm not- I wasn't…" Addison begins. "Well, maybe a little…" Addison sighs.
"Addison, it's perfectly natural, you know I'm accepting," Richard begins.
"Oh, right. That. You are. My mother isn't. She'll definitely kill me. And my father might flip out at me. And my brother will just think it's awesome," Addison groans.
"Well, you got one out of three on your side already!" Richard chuckles.
"Richard!" Addison groans, but she can't help but start chuckling as well.
"Well, I see you appear to have come to your own conclusion," Richard offers.
"Maybe… but that doesn't mean I know what to do about said conclusion," Addison sighs again.
"Well, what would you want to do, Addison? If you could?" Richard offers hopefully.
"I wish I could… I wish I could have her over. Hold her. Love her. Keep her warm…" Addison says dreamily.
"And what's stopping you?" Richard offers. "You know I never had the guts to go after what my heart wanted. If I could only teach you one thing, Addison, it would be that," Richard offers.
"Derek?" Addison shrugs.
"Derek will be just fine," Richard shrugs. "If he hasn't decided between the both of you by now, then how could he possibly apprecaite either of you individually?" Richard says.
"I never thought of it that way," Addison thinks aloud.
"He's my graduate student too, and I care for him deeply. But I don't care for the way that he's treated you. And I care even less for the way he's treated Meredith," Richard offers.
"Yeah. He wasn't exactly honest to her," Addison winces. "He prestended to her that I never even existed," Addison protests.
"He did. And I watched. And I woke up from brain surgery to see him carrying on with an intern while he had a wife. And I know I shouldn't be able to talk about adultery or anything, but at least at the time, I knew that Ellis had Thatcher…" Richard trails off here and he realizes that the last part doesn't really help his case after all.
"If you loved her, and she asked you to stay, then why didn't you?" Addison finally asks him.
"Because I didn't think I was good enough for her," Richard sighs.
"I don't think I'm ever going to be good enough for Meredith," Addison sighs with her own parallel.
"You are, and you will be," Richard smiles at Addison proudly.
"How could you possibly know that?" Addison pleads him.
"Addison, I know it never worked out between Ellis and I, but I still think of Meredith as a daughter of sorts. She is my family. And if I didn't think you were cut out for her, I'd be having a whole different conversation with you, now wouldn't I?" Richard insists to Addison.
"Are you, um, are you also going to have that conversation with me then, Richard? Because if we're already having a conversation then I figure we might as well converse… now…" Addison says awkwardly.
"Do I need to be having this conversation with you now then?" Richard challenges in a friendly way.
"Umm, yes… I figure if we're being proactive then perhaps we should um… be having that conversation… during this conversation…" Addison shifts uncomfortably.
"Well then, I suppose then we will have that conversation, Addison," Richard smiles.
"Well then um, I guess I'll let you start the coversation then, because we can pretend that you came up to me and asked for a word and then I walked up to you and this is a whole new conversation then…" Addison rambles.
"Well, alright then, Addie. Here it is- if you break her heart, then I'll transfer you somewhere else. But I hope that she will be good for you, and that you will be good for her. End of story. You got that?" Richard offers.
"That's it?" Addison says rather incredulously.
"That's it," Richard starts nodding.
"Are you sure?" Addison squints at him knowingly.
"Well, alright well there's one more thing, but it can wait," Richard pats Addison on the shoulder.
"Why wait? Why not have all of the conversations while we are conversing? We just had conversations one and two why not three also?" Addison pouts frustratedly.
"Well, because I don't know if you're ready for conversation three yet?" Richard suggests.
"But if i know there's a conversation three then it's just going to stress me out, Richard! I can't handle any more suspense, if you have something to say to me, I need you to say it!" Addison waves her arms in the air wildly now.
"Well, alright then. The conversation three is as follows…" Richard says calmly and slowly just to annoy Addison teasingly.
"Well, get on with it! We don't have all day you know!" Says Addison.
"Well I do, I'm the Chief, am I not?" Richard chuckles.
"RICHARD!?" Addison rolls her eyes animatedly.
"My only other request, is that I'd like a seat at the wedding," Richard smiles at Addison proudly.
"The- what!?" Addison exclaims suddenly.
"The wedding. You know. Once you get engaged and want to be married. I want to attend your wedding, that's all. Now I know it's rude for me to invite myself, but as I said, I think of Meredith like a daughter and I'd like to watch her get married".
"You- you think we could get married!?" Says Richard.
"Well, I mean, I think by then hopefully the government will have something figured out," Richard offers.
"Oh I never even thought of that," Addison says.
"Hopefully in a little while you won't have to," Richard smiles.
"Hopefully," says Addison.
"So, are we good at conversations now? We've had conversations one, two, and three, now so I think that's enough for now. I'm all chatted out!" Richard laughs.
"Yes, I think I have all the conversations I can handle!" Addison laughs as well.
"Well, I'm glad you've worked it out Addison. Now you know what to do. I want you to brave," Richard offers.
"I'll try," Addison says excitedly.
"I bet you will," Richard offers, as he squeezes Addison's shoulder one last time before walking away and smiling.
Addison takes a deep breath before she turns around the corner, preparing in her head just what she could possibly figure out to say to Meredith after all of that this morning.
As it turns out though, she's so lost in thought she doesn't notice that Meredith is right in front of her until she almost walks into the young Grey woman.
"Addison, hi," Meredith says nervously as she rounds the corner.
"Hi-" Addison fumbles, then bites her lip awkwardly.
She thought she had it all planned out after talking to Richard, but now that she's in the moment, her mind has gone completely to mush.
"Ah, can I ask you something?" Meredith fidgets.
"Sure," Addison says tensely, wondering what Meredith could possibly want to ask her.
"Ah, we're you and Richard… were you having a 'lover's quarrel'? Because I know you were asking this morning if Derek and I were, and as I said, I promise we weren't, and then I saw him talking to you, and you talking to him, and it got kinda loud at one point so I left, and I just wanted to warn you that if you like, we're having an affair with Richard that he had an affair with my mother so it would be kind of weird, not that you're weird or anything, but it could be kind of strange and-" Meredith goes to keep on rambling before she sees Addison's wide eyes and she finally shuts herself up.
"You- you think that Richard Webber and I-!?" Addison bursts out laughing at the irony of the whole situation.
"Well, no, I mean not really, I mean, just that you seemed close that's all, and I just- never mind it's not really my business asking…" Meredith mumbles.
"Oh, it's okay, Grey, I can see your concern. And no, Richard and I, we weren't having a 'lover's quarrel,' we were ah, we were just talking, we're old friends you see, and we were talking…" Addison flushes.
"About…?" Meredith questions curiously.
"Work," Addison deadpans immediately.
"Right…" Meredith says suspiciously.
"Ah, you see, it was really important, it was a lot of conversations. Theee conversations actually. In one big conversation. With Richard. About work, of course…" Addison tries and this time she is the one rambling.
"Right, okay then, that's all," Meredith smiles and starts to back up from Addison.
"Oh, that's um, that's all?" Addison asks, suddenly not wanting her moment of talking with Meredith to be over.
"Well, that's the only question I had, unless you had a question to ask me?" Meredith squeaks out.
"Oh, right. A question. Well, um," Addison fumbled again.
"Take your time," Meredith smiles, and it makes Addison's head spin so much she can hardly concentrate.
"Thanks," Addison says shyly as she tries to gather up the courage to ask Meredith some sort of question.
"Do you want to hear about how I birthed a horse the other night?" Meredith offers, realizing that Addison might not have prepared a question.
"Was that with the vet? Who you're dating?" Addison asks a bit too sharply.
"Umm, yeah?" Meredith winces at Addison's tone.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to raise my voice. Um, sure I guess you can tell me about birthing a horse," Addison nods and moves to sit down next to Meredith.
And then, Meredith goes on to tell her all about the mother and the baby horse.
"So did you have a good time then? With the vet? With the birthing a horse?" Addison asks, half heartbroken at Meredith talking about her date with the vet.
"Yeah, I enjoyed it," says Meredith to Addison quietly. "But you know what I'd really be interested in?" Meredith says softly.
"Yeah?" Asks Addison, still maybe a bit too hopefully.
"I'd really like to learn about birthing babies," says Meredith. "You know anyone who might wanna teach me that?" Meredith offers.
And Addison nearly falls out of her chair at Meredith's dazzling smile.
"Ah, maybe?" Addison barely manages before her voice cracks completely.
"How about tonight?" Meredith offers.
"Ah, I'm still married!" Addison exclaims all of a sudden.
"I know," Meredith giggles. "It's not like it would be OUR baby!" She giggles again.
And this time Addison's face goes completely crimson at the thought of having a baby with Meredith and she can't form a sentence at all anymore.
Addison just stares at Meredith slack-jawed and wide-eyed until Meredith jokes she's gonna catch flies with her mouth.
"Come on, it'll be fun! Besides, if anyone asks us we can always say it's just a work thing right?" Meredith offers.
"Is it? I mean, is it only a work thing? To you, I mean…?" Addison asks nervously.
"You're married, remember?" Meredith reminds Addison, and she sobers up immediately from her fantasies.
"But if I wasn't?" Addison asks her boldly.
"Well, you'd have to not be married to find that part out," Meredith points out cleverly.
"Wait, but then who would get the dog in the divorce!?" Addison panics.
"We could still share custody of the dog," Meredith shrugs easily.
"But wait what are we going to tell Derek?!" Addison panics.
"Well right now we're just going to tell him we're working. And that were not going to take his dog out of his life," Meredith offers.
"Is Doc even going to make it?" Addison remembers, and asks Meredith tenderly.
"I sure hope so, but I'm not optimistic," Meredith sighs.
"Does the vet know?" Addison asks her.
"Maybe. I could ask him if I go on a date with him?" Meredith shrugs again.
"That's okay. How about I show you all about birthing babies? And then we can go visit the dog?" Addison says slightly possesively, even if she has absolutely no right to be.
"Sounds good, Doctor," Meredith smirks at Addison. "I'll let Finn know I've moved on to birthing humans," she giggles.
"And Derek?" Addison offers.
"And Derek can pick up the dog while we're working?" Meredith offers.
"Working. Right. Working…" Addison nods determinedly.
"We better get to work then," Meredith smiles.
"You betcha," Addison nods, and motions for Meredith to follow her to the neonatal wing of the hospital.
As Addison picks up her binders from the nurse's station and hands them over to Meredith, she smiles inwardly to herself and decides that today is at least a hundred percent better now than when it started.
***** FIN
bobbiejelly