I can't believe there's a new chapter already! I really hope you like it. A fair warning though: up until this far, I had the story kind of already thought out and planned in my mind, and I already know how it's going to end but the middle of the story is still kind of fuzzy. I hope it becomes clear soon enough though. Reading your thoughts about the story always get the muse going, so I hope that happens again after this chapter.

WARNINGS: self-harm and suicide are heavily discussed in this chapter. There's a pretty emotional conversation down the road on this chapter about it, so please proceed to read with caution.

Despite that, I hope you enjoy!

Also, I would like to thank everyone for your constant support and patience with all of my stories. I think I've said this before, but your reviews are always the highlight of my day and whenever I get a notification email, a smile creeps up my face and it makes my whole day better. So, again, thank you!

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Chapter 8: There's no need for such drastic measures

The taxi cab drove away after Alex handed the money to its driver, not even bothering to wait for the change and just slamming the door with barely a word of gratitude. Alex didn't care. His mind was already on the building in front of him.

He was in a busy street, lots of peope making their way in and out of the buildings around him. So far he could tell it wasn't a residential area, more like a bussiness one. The buildings were tall and windows were equally and monotonously spaced between them, giving away the offices they held behind them. There was even a bank or two down the street.

The message hadn't been terribly specific, it had just read the adress of the building Alex was currently staring at but the blond wasn't sure if he was supposed to walk in or wait outside. He tried calling Vict's phone for more instructions but the call went unanswered.

There were barely five minutes left on the clock and the half hour mark for his arrival.

Where were they? He thought.

He decided to enter the building and at least explore the entrance hall.

There were more people going out than in at this hour of the day, which is why he assumed the man on the phone wanted to meet there, though as far as hidden and more strategically located places went, he couldn've chosen somewhere better to meet.

Was that a good or a bad thing for Alex? He'd have to wait to find out.

No one there seemed to be paying much attention to him. He was looking for someone to make eye contact with, someone who wanted to get his attention maybe, but nothing and no one stood out. Nobody was waiting for him here.

Then his phone buzzed.

*Parking lot. 5th level*

Alex read the text and then scanned the crowd around him again. Did someone have eyes on him? Maybe someone was monitoring the cameras. He got the feeling that he wasn't dealing with amateurs. If they'd chosen such a public area to set up the meeting then they were confident things would play out in their favor. That wasn't good for him.

He casually stroded to the door that led to the stairs. If someone had indeed eyes on him, he better not looked desperate or out of control. He had to avoid the moment where the bad guy inevitably saw through his facade as long as possible.

When he was on the second level of the underground parking lot his phone only showed two bars of reception. By the time he reached the fifth level, there was no signal at all.

Smart, he thought.

There weren't many vehicles parked on thatlevel, which lowered the risk of being interrupted by any workers meaning to put another day's work behind them. What exactly they wouldn't interrupt, Alex wasn't sure.

"Alright" he called out loud, walking further into the place "I'm here"

He felt stupid talking to no one in particular, but he didn't have all night and it was just a matter of time before Eagle noticed him gone or Ben went back home and noticed the same. He was surprised at how long he'd already managed to get away with it.

He spun around when the door he'd just come from opened with a rattling noise and his heart stopped when he saw Vict walking through it, arms obviously tied behind him. His stomach all but dropped to the floor when the person leading him forward was holding a gun to his side.

Alex reacted on instinct, reaching for his own weapon in the split of a second and taking his stance. Right hand with a finger on the trigger, left hand keeping it steady from beneath, feet slightly apart and the weight of his body leaning forward, ready for action.

He took a step forward.

"Let him go" he ordered, not that he expected the other man to just surrender.

"That's far enough" someone else called halting his approach. Another two men walked through the door in that instant and Alex's aim shifted slightly towards the new threat. They appeared to be unarmed so his focus went back to the inminet threat against his boyfriend, the man holding a gun to his side.

Speaking of his boyfriend, Alex spared a moment of his attention to assest his condition. He didn't look hurt at first sight, though that was no warranty of other injuries hidden from view. His posture was rigid and he was trying to put as much distance as he could between himself and the weapon at his side. He was also staring at Alex with wide and wild eyes. Maybe it was a pleading look, begging for him to get im out of there, or maybe it was surprise at seeing Alex holding a gun of his own and looking like he knew how to use it.

"Let him go" he repeated though he didn't take a step further. Would he risk shooting the man holding Vict so close to him? Would he even risk shooting a gun in front of Vict at all?

"Drop the gun" it was the better dressed man who was doing all the talking on their part. Alex recognized his voice as the one he'd spoken to on the phone.

"Not a chance" he was proud of the sassiness in his voice. Fake it until you make it, right?

"My friend here has been itching all day to put a bullet inside him. Don't make me ask again" this was the moment Alex had been dreading. He knew he wasn't going to be able to stand against them much longer, not when Vict's life was on the line. That was the whole purpose of gaining leverage over someone by threatening their loved ones. He had come to the meeting hoping he'd be able to rescue Vict away from them. He wouldn't be able to do that weaponless.

He made eye contact with Vict, now that was a pleading look.

"Marcus" the man called and the next thing he knew, Vict's legs were kicked from behind him and he dropped to his knees, the gun pressing into the back of his head. The barely contained whimper of fear that came from him made Alex want to die.

"Okay! Wait! Just… okay" He lowered his gun slightly and looked between Marcus and the man calling the shots. He was met by a deadly glare from the man.

"Put. The. Gun. Down" Alex did and that was the end of it. Now they were both at their mercy "Kick it away" he sent the weapon skidding to the side and held his hands palm out in front of him.

"Just let him go" they didn't, but at least he managed to have the gun removed from his boyfriend's head. Alex could see that Vict was shaking and was now silently staring at the floor. It broke Alex's heart.

"Are you wearing any wires?" Alex shook his head.

"No one knows I'm here, just like you asked"

"You don't mind if I check that, do you?"

"What?" it didn't dawn on him until the man nodded towards the only person who hadn't uttered a word apart from Vict and the third man of the party walked forward.

Alex's eyes widened and he gasped, taking a step back.

No.

"You lied" the man in charge accused at his reaction but Alex shook his head again.

"I'm not wearing any wires, I promise!" he was silently begging the man to believe him..

"Then stay still" the third man spat in front of him and Alex bit his lip. The man kept coming.

No, no, don't touch, don't touch me, nonono.

The hands reached him and Alex couldn't breathe. He screwed his eyes shut and held back the scream that threatened to rip out of his lungs. The man began to pat him down, making him elevate his arms away from his body so he could touch everywhere.

Breathe, come on, breathe!

He felt the hands patting down each leg from the hips to the ankles, probably looking for any concealed weapon as well. Alex forced himself to open his eyes. He couldn't afford to lose awareness of his surroundings but it was hard not to crawl inside himself and try to dissappear. For a moment, he locked eyes with Vict, who had taken his eyes off the floor in favor of staring in horror at the search this man was carrying out so throughoutly. The man even went as far as pulling up his sweater to confirm he had no wires attached to his chest. That's when Alex couldn't stand it any longer and slapped the hand away, risking even pushing the guy away from him.

"I'm not wired!" he spat hotly, trying to regain his sense of control.

The man in charge was giving him an odd look, definitely puzzled by his reaction and Alex could do nothing more than hope he wouldn't get any ideas or that he hadn't given these people another weapon to use against him. He needed to get the man back on topic.

"You wanted me, now you got me. Let Victor go"

"I need you to do something for me first" he supposed he shoul've expected that. If all they wanted was to kill him as repercussion against his uncle, then there were easier ways to do it. He had been sniped once before already. What was another attempt, right? Going through the trouble of kidnaping someone meant there was an agenda, an agenda they wanted Alex to complete.

"What is it?"

"When we hit you the other night, we weren't trying to kill you" the man began, not really answering Alex's question "We wanted to flush your uncle out. We did" he concluded. Alex thought they definitely had a funny way of not trying to kill someone.

"Then what else do you want?" while they talked, Alex glanced constantly a Vict from the corner of his eye. He got the impression Vict was looking at him differently, considering the circumstances of course, almost as if he didn't know him. The blond tried not to let his emotional guard down though. He had a mission to fulfill.

"When he double crossed us" he continued and Alex almost rolled his eyes at the lack of a direct response to any of his questions. The man was on a roll "Your uncle stole something from me and I need it back"

"What makes you think he still has it?" Because as far as Alex knew, Ian might have already delivered to MI6 whatever he'd stolen from this guy.

"Let's say it's in your best interest that he has it" the man answered glancing at Vict to drive his point across. Alex's anger spiked up.

"Why not take me, then? It's my uncle, you could've been dealing with him directly"

"Because, see, you're properly motivated to get me what I want. You're uncle wouldn't have been" the blond fell silent for a moment. That was a low punch, and Alex stared at the casualness with which this man was talking about such a sensitive subject to him "I did my research on him, and you, after he betrayed me. He mustn't have cared about you all that much when he left you, so there was no warranty he'd come to you rescue if we took you" despite everything, Alex didn't think the man was saying those things to hurt him, he was just explaining his reasoning and stating the facts. Facts Alex himself had already concluded. That didn't make it hurt any less though. What it did do, was let him know that this man knew enough about his past to talk about Ian faking his death. Was it possible they knew about his own involvement with MI6? Alex hoped not, that way he'd have an advantage on the situation, which was the way people always underestimated him for being young.

"If I get you what you want, how can I be sure you'll let him go?"

"You have my word. And you don't really have any other choice" he wasn't about to trust a bad guy's word, but something was better than nothing he guessed.

"You have to promise you won't hurt him. Nothing, not even a scratch on him. This isn't his fault"

"Keep your end of the deal and I won't have to" Alex looked at Vict, still kneeling on the floor, and the way his body was angled as far away from the man behind him as possible. Alex got the feeling he was the one he should be worried about hurting his boyfriend. Alex sighed. He'd known from the beginning that he'd have to accept whatever he was asked to do.

"I'll do it. I'll get you what you want just… don't hurt him" he allowed a tiny bit of vulnerability to show through his eyes in a pleading look. Maybe this man would also keep his end of the deal and not hurt Vict, at least not until Alex got him what he wanted and he killed them both either way. There was no doubt about that, but he'd worry about it when the time came.

"Deal. I'll be in contact if anything changes" the man said, a triumphant look on his face "Remember to keep this between us. Don't give me a reason to kill him" Alex nodded in understanding and the man turned to his partner "Pack him"

Vict was hauled to his feet and Alex was able to see the desperate look on his face before his strangled voice reached his ears.

"No, no. Alex!" he was being dragged away, still at gunpoint except the gun was forcefully jabbed into his side the minute he spoke. Alex wanted nothing more than to go after him but he forced himself to stay rooted to the spot. He called out to him though.

"I'll get you out of this! I promise!" one last pleading look.

"Alex, please!" Alex's heart broke for the millionth time that day and he was almost shaking with the effort of staying still.

"Oh… endearing" the blond glared dangerously at the man once Vict dissappeared from view and the only ones left in the parking lot were the two of them "Send me a text"

"What?"

"Send a text to Victor's phone. Wait 15 minutes after we leave. When I get the message I'll know you have a signal again. Chase us and he's as good as dead" Alex nodded sharply. Again, he figured he wasn't dealing with amateurs. As it was, the fact Ian's undercover mission had taken him six years should have been his first clue.

The man turned around and Alex was left alone once more. Before his mind got lost on his rolling emotions, he used the sharpness he'd managed to maintain during the whole meeting to send the text that would bind him to the parking lot for another 15 minutes.

He wasn't sure how longer he'd manage to remain calm. He was scared of his own reaction once it sunk in that he hadn't been able to save Vict and that he was still at the mercy of whoever that man had been. Alex hadn't even gotten a name.

He'd just been dealt a mission he wasn't even sure he could do. Stealing from his uncle? In order to do that he would first have to face him and he wasn't so sure if he was going to survive that at all.

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As soon as he had enough signal, his phone began to buzz uncontrollably, messages and notifications piling up on top of each other. None of them were from Vict's phone.

He winced at the amount of missed calls displayed on the screen. Eleven, and those were just the calls from Eagle. Ben's number wasn't that different.

*Where are you*

*Where did you go?*

*Alex, answer the phone!*

He sighed. He dialed Ben's number while he made his way towards the closest bus stop.

"Are you okay?" was the first thing that left Ben's mouth upon answering the call. Alex didn't know how to answer that.

"I'm on my way back. Don't worry"

"Don't worry?! Do you have any idea-!"

"Ben, quit yelling" Alex interrupted him, his voice monotone and thight. Something in it was definitely odd because Ben inmediately dropped his tone.

"Where are you?"

"On my way back. I'll explain everything" would he? He hadn't quite decided yet.

Ben tried to coax more information out of him but he thwarted the attempt. A bus was coming and though it wouldn't get him all the way home, it would shorten the distance he'd have to walk.

Once he'd finally gotten his brother to end the call, he climbed up and found a spot at the back. The ride would take him about 20 minutes, plenty of time to organize his thoughts and make a decision. He could either ask for help or undertake the mission alone.

The mere thought of having a mission sent shivers down his spine.

He had to walk at least another 20 minutes before finally making it home. By the time he did, it was already 9:00 p.m.

Alex took his time opening the door to the apartment, leaninig against the wall and still weighting his options: to tell the truth or not. He supposed in his heart he already knew the answer and he was just delaying the inevitable.

He opened the door.

The first thing he saw was Eagle staring daggers at him. He never thought it'd be possible to see such an expression on the soldier's face. He was wrong. Ben wasn't far behind him, coming out of the hallway that led to their rooms.

"Before you say anything-"

"Three hours. You've been gone for three hours" it Eagle who spoke first.

"I know, I-"

"I thought maybe someone had gotten to you but then I would've heard something"

"I was-"

"And Fox was still MIA, so I went out looking for you. Almost even called Snake and Wolf to get them ready in case they had to come all the way here"

Eagle was fuming and wouldn't even let him get a word out in between accusations. Alex was getting tired of how many fights he'd had this week.

Ben put a hand on Eagle's shoulder and the man stood down a bit. Now, if you didn't know Eagle, behind all the jokes and annoying habits, he could be pretty intimidating.

"Where did you go?" Ben asked, obviously making an effort to remain calm. Alex couldn't help feeling like a little kid getting lectured for misbehaving and he didn't like it one bit. He wasn't a little kid anymore.

"I went out to-"

"Because I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation, otherwise you wouldn't have disregarded our security measures" security measures? Okay, they needed to bring their paranoia levels down a few notches. Says you, he thought sarcastically at himself.

"There is-"

"Tell me you weren't sneaking up to-"

"For fuck's sake!" Alex blurted out, frustrated by their overwhelming questioning that wouldn't even let him finish a sentence. He decided to be blunt about it.

He reached for the waistband of his jeans and took the gun out of its hiding place. He had made sure to retrieve it once the bad guys had left the building.

He approached the dining table and let it drop heavily on it, attracting Ben's and Eagle's eyes towards it.

"I need your help" he asked to both of them.

During the silence that followed, Alex tried to gauge their expressions. Eagle's was plain confused. Ben's was a little bit more complex than that.

He tried to reassure himself that asking for help was the right thing to do. He was in no condition to be plotting against Ian, a man he honestly couldn't say if he wanted to hug or tackle the next time he saw him.

Ben took a step towards the table.

"Alex, tell me you didn't…" but he trailed off.

"Didn't what?" Alex asked confused for a moment.

"Look, I'm sure everything will turn out okay with Victor. There's no need for such drastic measures. Every relationship has bumps in the road, Al. Please tell me you understand that" for a moment there, Alex thought Ben had somehow figured out what was going on with Vict, but then his own eyes traveled between the gun and Ben's worried expression and it hit him. He frowned and released a huff.

"You're unbelievable" he said "I wasn't going to kill myself with it" he could tell he'd shocked both Ben and Eagle with his blunt statement, specially the young soldier who seemed to be having trouble picturing him and the thought of suicide in the same sentence.

"Listen, I know things have been hectic lately with your uncle and-"

"No, you listen to me!" Alex spat, interrupting what was surely a summary of everything that was wrong in his life right now "For God's sake Ben, you need to stop watching my every move just waiting for me to do something like that. It gets on my nerves! I understand where you're coming from and that I scared you back then but how do you expect me to get over it completely if you keep reminding me of it? If I was going to kill myself, I would've done it years ago, not now that I have so much to live for. So please, just stop" he gulped a deep breath and took a step backwards as is shocked at his own words. He felt he'd just released a preasure bomb that had been building inside his chest for a really long time now. It wasn't small the number of times he'd thought about having this conversation with his brother before, he'd just wished it hadn't happened so inconveniently in the middle of another crisis.

"Wait a minute, you tried to kill yourself?"

"No!" he yelled at Eagle. They didn't understand, no one could understand. He'd never tried to kill himself, he'd just lost the will of living for a while. It wasn't quite the same… was it?

He ran a hand through his hair and sighed with exhasperation. Ben had gone quiet after his heated accusation and Alex sent a pleading look his way. He didn't have time to deal with this right now.

"Ben-"

"You're right" his brother admited, somehow making Alex's chest feel tighter than before "You did scare me, and I don't know if you remember it but I do. Every day for weeks, for months, it was a struggle to get you out of your room, out of bed. You didn't want to talk to anyone and the nightmares wouldn't let you sleep" Alex's heart was beating in his throat now "I won't apologize for keeping an eye on you and I certainly won't apologize for caring enough to ask you about it. But I get what you're saying"

Alex's eyes felt suspiciously hot and when he glanced at Eagle, his cheeks flushed a little. He could tell the other man was uncomfortable with the turn the conversation had taken and he wasn't the only one. They were good friends, but Alex wasn't comfortable himself with the soldier hearing them talk about one of his lowest moments.

He turned his attention back to Ben though.

Sometimes he forgot how much family could hurt, and he wasn't thinking about people dying, like Jack or Ian. Family hurts because family is supposed to love you enough to tell you the truth and sometimes the truth hurt.

He cleared his throat but settled with sending a nod Ben's way. The older man seemed to accept it and they both called a silent truce.

"Now, tell me what's going on" he prompted and Alex was glad they were back on track.

"They have Victor" he replied trying not to choke on the words.

"Who?" Eagle quietly asked, talking as if he was tiptoeing around a bomb. He supposed he deserved the caution.

"The people Ian infiltrated. I don't really know who they are but they have him" Alex let himself drop on one of the chairs from the dining table "I saw him and they'll kill him unless I get them what they want"

"Which is?" up until that point, he hadn't realized he didn't even know exactly what they wanted. The thing he was supposed to get from Ian. He told Ben and Eagle as much.

Alex replayed the whole encounter with Vict's captors in his mind so he could walk Eagle and Ben through it, starting with the first phone call he'd received and the instructions of not telling anyone about it. He apologized to Eagle after that.

"I brought the gun for protection. I thought maybe I could rescue Vict myself but they had complete control over the situation. I couldn't risk it. I was outnumbered and I haven't done this in a while. I… I couldn't get him and I let them take him again because I couldn't-" he gasped and started driving his right thumb into his palm. Ben's eyes followed the movement.

"How did you know where the gun was?" he asked, not in an accusatory manner but in a curious one. Alex shrugged.

"I've always known"

They fell silent again after that.

Alex was worried they'd tell him there was nothing they could do. That Ian had probably already given what he'd stolen to MI6. That the three of them weren't enough to get Vict out of their grip. That he was as good as dead.

They didn't.

Eagle came closer to the table as well and patted him on the shoulder a few times. The blond also interpreted it as a sign that they were okay.

"I guess there's only one thing to do now" said Eagle, clasping his hands together and offering Alex a determined look "To get whatever it is they want from your uncle. And we're gonna help you do that" the blond's lungs deflated with relief and he stopped worrying his hands in order to run them up and down his face a few times.

"I have to find out what it is first" he had the feeling the man who kidnapped Vict expected him to find out on his own. He would've given him details otherwise.

With the feeling that he was being forced to rush a reunion he wasn't quite ready for, he spoke the words he never thought he'd have to use ever again.

"I have to talk to my uncle"

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And there you have it. I really hope the talk about self-harm wasn't too upsetting. While I was writing the chapter, I felt like Alex and Ben had't really worked through that issue yet. I mean, Ben cares so much that he was left a bit traumatized by the conversation he and Alex had had in the first story "Shoul've Known Better" in which Alex admitted to having lost the will of living, like it was mentioned in this chapter. I feel like Ben's and Alex's fights are so emotionally charged because they both care so much. They're hard to right, but I think every time they have one of these tough conversations, they come out of it stronger and more united than before. In my mind Alex has become a bit dependant emotionally on their relationship as brothers because Ben's the only person who's never failed him and as always put him first above anything else. The thing is, Vict's starting to become another emotional rock for him, so you can imagine how scared he is right now of losing him.

And now, after that incredibly long note, all I can say is I'm looking forward to reading your comments on the chapter. I would really like to know your guesses as to what's gonna happen next.

Any ideas? Guesses? Requests? Like I said, this next part of the story is a little fuzzy yet. I have to write about Alex's reunion with Ian and I'm not sure which direction to take that particular and very much important part of the story.

I'll be waiting to hear from you!