Who knows better?

by RiderForEver17

Third installment of the Knowing Better series. As you can imagine, lots of challenges awaits our favorite couple. Will their relationship survive yet another intrusion of MI6 in Alex's life? But even that won't be Alex's biggest problem when someone who's supposed to be dead turns out to be very much alive.

9. I'll need years of therapy after this

Welcome back! I know it's been a few days but this chapter was really hard to finish. I wrote the first half in like a day but then got stuck on the rest. I'll admit I'm satisfied with how the first half came out, the other one not so much. I'll let you guys decide for yourselves.

I want to thank everyone who has reviewed, favorited and followed this story. You guys motivate me to keep going like you have no idea.

I don't think there's need for warnings in this chapter. Maybe some swearing? Nothing much though.

I hope you like it!

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Chapter 9: I'm gonna need years of therapy after this

Someone knocked on his open bedroom door and Alex took his eyes off his phone to see Ben leaning on the doorway.

"He agreed" his brother stated and made his way further into the room to sit by his side on the bed. Alex let out a sigh of relief and nodded in acknoledgement. Ben put a hand on his shoulder "How are you holding up?" he shrugged and continued to stare at his phone.

"Okay, I guess. Considering"

"We're gonna get him back. Eagle's already working on plan B" Alex remained silent for a minute and then answered as if he hadn't heard Ben's comment.

"He's gonna hate me after this" he said with conviction. The picture of the two of them smiling at the camera that he'd set up as wallpaper on his screen almost a year ago was staring back at him tauntingly. Vict's eyes that day had been filled with joy and freedom. Alex hadn't seen that today on the other boy's face.

"He hasn't hated you for anything yet" Ben answered but Alex could tell the man had his doubts. It would be foolish to entertain the hope that his relationship with Vict would ever be the same after this, if he was even alive in a few days to begin with. The thought of having to bury the person he... He rubbed at his tired eyes and looked at Ben.

"When is it?" he asked, not wanting his mind to get stuck on what would happen if they failed. He wanted to remain focused and driven.

"Tomorrow morning. At ten. It was the earliest I could get him to be there" 'there' was the location they'd chosen after careful deliberation at dinner between almost forced bites of food that Ben insisted he took. It was Eagle who had suggested the spot, the Gateshead Millenium Bridge. Eagle had argued that from a strategic point of view, the place was neutral ground for everyone.

The first part of their plan was simple: to meet with Ian and get the awkward and emotional reunion out of the way. The other part was even easier and yet, it was the one Alex was sure wouldn't work. It all depended on whatever information Ian decided to give them.

He locked the screen of his phone and held his hands between his legs. He leaned just a tiny bit into Ben's embrace, just enough to rest his head on the older man's shoulder. His neck was still bothering him some from the crash and the fact he was tense and felt knotted all over wasn't helping any.

"Where did you dissappear to all day?"

"I wanted to talk to '6 and hear about their plan to clean up this mess. They kept putting me off. Couldn't even get a hold of Mrs. Jones. I got to talk with Ian though"

"What did he say?"

"He wasn't terribly straightforward about his mission or where he'd been all these years. Besides, I figured you should be the one he explains everything to. I also reminded him he had to wait for you to reach out" he paused and Alex nodded. It made sense "We talked about how he's not here to take you away"

"He said that?" that was something they really didn't need to worry about. With him being an adult, Ian didn't have any kind of claim over him. He certainly couln't take him away.

"I did" Alex arched his eyebrows. It was strange that Ben had felt the need to clarify that to his uncle. Then he frowned and straightened to stare at his brother.

"I wouldn't go with him" he stated without hesitation, which seemed to be what Ben needed to hear to reassure himself because he smiled in relief.

"That's good to hear" then his expression turned sort of apologetic "I also gave him a few pointers on how to handle the situation"

"Because I might have a nervous breakdown?" Ben shrugged his shoulders as if to say: can you blame me? Alex guessed he couldn't.

"I just told him to thread carefully. Things are already complicated as they are and you need to be civil as well" the blond gaped.

"Me?!"

"Yes, you! We need him to cooperate so don't hit him until we get what we need" Alex thought it was just a little bit funny how Ben wasn't forbidding him to hurt the man, he was just asking him to delay what he sure thought was inevitable.

"I'll try"

"You should get some sleep" Ben said at the same time he pushed himself off the bed. Alex snorted inwardly knowing full well sleep would be the last thing he'd manage that day.

He did change out of his clothes and at least attempted to rest his eyes. He made sure to keep his phone at top volume in case Vict's kidnapper reached out again. He'd spent the last hour staring at the thing hoping it would both ring and stay silent at the same time. That man reaching out couldn't mean good news for anybody, but he'd kept hope he'd at least get proof that Vict was still alive.

He had to be. The man wouldn't risk losing his leverage until he got what he wanted, something Alex would do anything to get even if it meant selling out his uncle to do it.

The thought was neither pleasant nor reassuring, and Alex eventually fell asleep hoping he'd find a solution that wouldn't involve losing anybody else in his life.

That was unlikely.

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"You're gonna rub the skin raw" Ben said but didn't reach out to stop him.

The blond had been obsessively digging his thumb into the palm of his left hand for the better part of ten minutes, which is how long ago they'd arrived at the bridge. The inminence of his uncles's arrival weighting deeply into his stomach.

Alex was leaning on the railing, his forearms digging into it while his hands continued to be restlessly in motion. Ben was leaning next to him, his hip connected to the railing and his arms crossed at chest level. He was keeping an eye out for anything suspicious, something Alex should've been doing too but the blond was too preocupied with staring at the water below them.

"You know I'm gonna need years of therapy after this, right?" he commented. For not being a joke, Ben sure laughed at his words. Alex didn't think it was funny. I'll be lucky if I even get out of this alive.

"You'll be fine" did he believe that? Did Alex?

People continued to walk up and down the bridge. For being summer, there weren't as many tourists as Alex thought there'd be. He envied them and their blissful ignorance. They didn't know they were about to witness a meeting between two ex spies and a resurrected one. They had no idea someone's life hung in the balance and they had no clue about the war currently wreacking havoc inside him. Alex envied them alright.

Suddenly Ben's demeanor changed and he straightened up away from the railing.

"Head's up" he warned and Alex turned his head to stare in the direction Ben had signaled. Sure enough, Ian was making his way towards them, his stride casual and unhurried.

Alex's heart caught in his throat.

He didn't remember much of the night Ian had ambushed him at the hospital and the details were more than a little fuzzy, the pain and confusion of that night blurring his memory. But he did have his uncle's image commited to memory. Fourteen years of being just the two of them, and Jack, had made sure of that.

As he approached, Alex studied the man he'd grew up with but that now felt like a complete stranger to him. Ian was wearing a pair of khaki pants and a black polo shirt unbuttoned at the neck which made him look like a perfect combination between casual and sophisticated, something he'd always set to achieve when they went traveling together. If he didn't know any better, Alex would almost believe he'd gone back in time.

Ian raised his hand, a half wave that let them know he had spotted them too.

As he continued to step closer, Alex could better appreciate the differences between this Ian and the Ian from his childhood. Almost everybody was taller than Alex, something the blond was secretely a bit self-conscious about, and though Ian was still a bit taller than him, he looked shorter than Alex remembered. He also seemed tired as if run down by the years passing by. Time didn't pass by when you were dead.

Suddenly, and finally, something as simple as the wrinckles around his uncle's eyes made the thought of him being alive completely sink in. The man who had raised him and loved him his whole life was alive and he was just a few feet away.

Images of his childhood began to assault him with every step he took.

Alex running around the house, Ian chasing after him with his school uniform. The blond wanted to skip school and stay home with him because he'd just come back from a two week business trip. Alexander John Rider get over here this instant! He may have been six or seven years old.

Them staying up way past his bed time to play cards on the living room with the muted TV in the background. If you win the next one, you can have sweets for breakfast. Ian never let him win.

'Alex, pack a bag. We're going skiing next week'

'What about school?'

'I'll write you a note'

Every phone call to check in while he was away. How's your trip uncle Ian? Boring. Will you make it back in time for my game? I'll try Alex.

He reacted on instinct. The minute Ian was within reach, Alex jumped forward. Ben made a grab for him, believing he was about to assault the other man, but he wasn't fast enough or maybe he realized what Alex's intentions were before the blond could even do so himself. Alex flung himself into Ian, latching his arms behind his back and squeezing for all he was worth.

Ian was alive. He was alive!

His uncle staggered back with the strenght of the embrace but as soon as he recovered, he placed his arms around Alex as well. The blond buried his face in the older man's shoulder and tightened his fists even more. He even smelled the same. His eyes watered and burned with the effort of keeping his emotions in check.

God… it had been so many years since he'd last hugged his uncle, not knowing it was going to be the last time and not knowing then that he'd get another chance because his uncle wasn't dead. After six long years, he was here.

Six years that, for the most part, had been hell, filled with pain and sorrow and uncertainty.

Six years.

Alex ended the hug abruptly, dislodging himself from the now stranger in front of him and pushing him away with a hard shove.

"You bastard!" he yelled around the lump in his throat that made his voice break at the end. He also shrugged the hand Ben put on his shoulder to remind him he needed to be civil and paying no mind to the curious stares he'd attracted from the people walking by them. Ian regained his balance and regarded him seemingly unfazed by his outburst.

"I guess I deserve that" the way he talked, so calm and collected made Alex see red.

"You deserve so much more than that" he spat venomously "How could you do that to me?" the man took his time to answer, roaming his eyes up and down Alex as if he too couldn't believe they were face to face.

"It wasn't my intention to be gone for so long" he finally admitted but the simple statement wasn't enough to satisfy Alex's burning need to know more. To know why.

"And what were you pretending to do? Come back from the dead after the mission was over? How long did you figure it would take, one week, two? Why did you take the mission in the first place? Couldn't they have sent somebody else?" the questions kept firing themselves out as if they had a mind of their own, sensing that the only person who could actually answer them was right in front of him.

"I was going to tell you the truth about me after I came back. That's why I decided it wouldn't be such a big deal. I just never got the chance and I had already agreed"

"Oh, because why not? Let's abandon my nephew to fend for himself while I play James Bond and go save the world from a bad man" Alex said mockingly.

"Try to keep your voice down" Ian warned, lowering his own voice. Alex hadn't even noticed he'd been talking so loudly. To him it felt like it was just the two of them in a time capsule. No one else existed. Nothing else mattered.

"They didn't waste their time you know. Recruited me right after the funeral. Was that part of your plan too? To make me a spy and give me mission after mission after mi-"

"Stop yelling about it" his uncle hissed while he glanced around checking no one was paying them much attention. Alex was outraged.

"Don't you dare chastise me! I was fourteen! What did you think was going to happen to me?" the other man took a step closer to try and keep the conversation between them but Alex instinctively took a step back until he bumped into Ben. He stayed there.

"I didn't expect the operation to last longer than a year" Ian continued to explain. Alex wasn't sure he could read whatever emotion had flashed in his uncle's eyes at his retreating step. He'd never been that good at reading the man in the first place. Now the task seemed impossible at best "Things got complicated and since-" he stopped himself and seemed to think of a better way to phrase that. Alex didn't let him though.

"Since you were already dead, you mean?" he asked unnecesarily. Since Alex had already suffered through the loss, what did it matter if he just stayed gone? The blond had to hand it to him, that was one smart way of setting himself free of the responsability of raising a child. He crossed his arms in front of his chest "Do you have any idea how things went sideways after that? How they used me?"

"I didn't want them to bring you in so early" to his credit, he did sound sincere but there was just no way for Alex to know for sure.

"It's not like you were around to stop them, were you?" was that a low blow? Alex didn't think so.

"I didn't mean for you to suffer that much" the blond had time to think there were a lot of I didn't mean to's in his uncle's speech before he couldn't hold it any longer and exploded.

"You didn't mean to?" he asked unbelievingly "You left me alone!"

"I left you with Jack" Ian corrected but Alex wouldn't be deterred.

"Then you can agree that you left me" there was a tense pause after that in which Alex tried to slow his breathing and Ian studied him with stoic eyes. Ian had always been so damn calm.

"I understand that right now there aren't going to be right answers for any of your questions" Alex snorted.

"Where did you read that? Psychology 101: how to handle your stranged and pissed off nephew?" Ian shrugged.

"I've never been too good with words"

"That's an understatement" Alex barked with a bitter laugh.

"And you've always been too cocky for your own good" he could've been imagining things, but he thought he heard a note of pride in his uncle's voice. Well, he had no business being proud of anything right now and he was going to eloquently let him know that.

"And you've-!"

"Alex..." it always worked like a charm. Whenever Ben used that tone on him, he just knew he had to calm down. He turned to look at his brother "We should get back on topic" Right. Why did he lose sight of that? There were more important things to deal with right now than his feelings. He turned back to Ian and forced himself to take a deep breath.

"You told Ben there were people after me?" his uncle seemed momentarily perplexed by the change of topic, or maybe the puzzled look he was giving them was him trying to figure out Alex and Ben's interaction. He cleared his throat and nodded.

"I was worried there might be repercussions against you once my identity was discovered. It turns out I was right"

"I want to know everything about him" Alex stated, his demeanor all business like now.

"Him?"

"Yes, him. They. Whoever they are, I want to know" when he was younger, he never would've dared talking to his uncle like that, much less ordering him around.

"We're not having that conversation on a bridge" Ian said, not to him but to Ben. Had he figured out Alex would only listen to reason if it came from Ben?

"Maybe some place else" his brother oh so helpfully supplied. Alex turned to him again.

"Where then? Do you suggest we bring him home and discuss about it over tea?" because wouldn't that be a lovely picture, he thought ironically.

"Or we could go to my place" Ian offered, making Alex arch his eyebrows.

"You moved here?"

"Temporarily" he replied and waited a beat before continung "I'm staying in a flat downtown" Alex didn't know what to say. He could understand they needed privacy, but privacy meant more room to talk about the things they were forbidden to talk about out in the open "I understand if you're reluctant to welcome me into your home, but this is something better discussed elsewhere" Ian was right, Alex didn't want his uncle to invade a place that was supposed to be safe for him, so he guessed there was no other way than to accept his offer. He sighed.

"I don't want MI6 to be there. No Jones, no Crawley. No one" because having them around would only make things worse.

"They won't. It'll just be you and me" Ben cleared his throat at that, sending Ian a pointed look that made the other man bow his head in acknowledgement "Of course" he added, extending his invitation to him as well.

Alex glanced between Ben and Ian. They were staring at each other with something resembling challenge in their eyes. The blond gulped and averted his eyes for as long as the staring contest lasted, which wasn't more than a few seconds, but a few seconds were enough for him to witness something he wasn't sure he wanted to get caught in the middle of: a war.

He took a step closer to Ben. If he did that on purpose, consciously or not, he didn't realize it.

"Let's go then" he stated, breaking the tension that had fallen between the three of them. Ian nodded and turned around.

"This way"

They followed.

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Alex avoided meetting eyes with Ben during the whole way to Ian's place. The last thing he needed was anyone asking him if he was alright. It's not like he could afford to be anything other than alright right now anyway. Vict was counting on that.

Ian was leading the way while the two of them followed, Alex never losing sight of his uncle's back. Boy was that a bizarre feeling. When he was a kid, Ian used to make him walk in front of him, trusting him to remember the way to anywhere and just giving directions when he was about to take a wrong turn. He hadn't realized until now that it had also been part of his training.

The flat his uncle was renting was within walking distance from the bridge and Alex spent the entire time forcing his emotions to remain locked.

It wasn't until they arrived at the four story building that Alex's brain stopped torturing him with images from his past.

Think about Vict, he reminded himself. He was the only one that mattered now.

Ian's flat was on the last floor. When they arrived, Alex was taken aback by the decoration. The place couldn't have been less like his uncle even if he'd tried. The decoration was old. Dark wooden cupboards adorned the walls, a stained carpet covered the floor from wall to wall and the couch looked like something straight out of a history book. He remembered his uncle's taste being much more modern and simple. For a brief moment, Alex wondered about the person Ian was renting the apartment from. Then they were motioned to gather on the livingroom.

Ian must have known that there was no need for pleasantries or that any offer of hospitality would be met with denial. The general mood of the situation did't call for a social tea party. So instead of sitting together around the small white table on the right, Ian leant against a cupboard, his ankles crossed in a seemingly relaxed manner, Ben sat at the edge of the couch in front of him with his forearms on his knees and his hands clasped together, and Alex remained standing, roaming the place with inquisitive eyes.

Alex kept studying the apartment while Ian was studying him, no doubt waiting for him to take the lead in the conversation, except the blond wasn't sure how to proceed.

The second part of their plan, the one Alex was sure wasn't going to work, was to simply ask his uncle for help, but they'd agreed they'd try to find out more about the people holding Vict before doing so.

Seeing as Alex wasn't making the first move, Ben did.

"When you first came to me, you said you needed to warn Alex about possible repercussions against him. Then the accident happ-

"Not an accident" Alex felt the need to clarify. An accident wouldn't have landed them in their current situation.

"The crash happened" Ben amended "You must know who did it" Ian nodded.

"Carlos Villanueva" when he heard the name, Alex thought they were finally making some progress. At least now he could name two of the men who had taken his boyfriend "He's the head of an organization stationed in Warwick"

"Okay, what was your mission about?" Ben continued to ask. The more they knew, the better. But apparently Ian had other ideas in mind. His uncle regarded Ben with somewhat cold eyes.

"You know we're not allowed to discuss missions between coworkers, much less with former ones"

"Right, and since you're such a dedicated spy" Alex retorted, breaking his silence and reclaiming Ian's attention. It's not like he didn't know about that rule. Most of his missions had been clasiffied to anyone other than the heads of MI6, and Ben never gave him details on the ones he worked on at the beginning of their relationship.

"I try to follow the rules"

"And how do you expect me to protect myself if I don't know what to look out for?" personally, Alex didn't care much about following the rules. He and Ben had talked enough about their missions to be considered a violation of the Official Secrets Acts. He guessed he shouldn't expect his own uncle to break the rules for him.

"That's why we offered to protect you instead" the blond let out a huff.

"You should've known I'd turn it down. Hell, they should have expected it"

"You could still agree to it" but Alex shook his head.

There were so many things he wanted to ask Ian. How can you expect me to accept anything from them? Do you have any idea what they did to me? Do you even care? If you'd known, would you have left either way?

But now that his focus had gone back to what mattered most at the moment, he made sure the conversation didn't deviate from their goal. He could wait to bombard his uncle with all these questions until after they got Vict back safe and sound.

He tried to approach from another angle.

"I need to know something else" he said, capturing his uncle's attention once again "How bad did you double cross this guy for him to come all the way here? Is it just revenge or does he want something else?" he could only hope he hadn't been too obvious introducing the matter.

"I imagine it can only be revenge. Payback, if you will"

"Except it doesn't make much sense, does it? These things happen all the time, bad guys get betrayed. They either kill the person who did it or they don't. Why come all the way from Warwick to hurt someone you haven't had contact with in over six years unless there was somethng else going on?"

"There shouldn't be anything else going on" Alex glanced at Ben looking for help. His uncle wasn't going to be easy to crack.

"Come on Ian, he has a point and the only way to truly protect him is knowing the whole truth" Ben added. Ian didn't immediately reply and for a moment there, Alex thought they'd made it, that they'd managed to convince him enough to tell them about the thing he'd stolen during his mission, but he had forgotten Ian had been in the spying business way longer than either of them and it wasn't long before a look of suspicion entered his face.

"What are you asking exactly?" Alex squared his shoulders.

"I want to know if you did something worth all this trouble"

"I spied on him and his operation"

"Have you already reported to MI6 everything you spied?" Ian narrowed his eyes.

"Alex, I know when I'm being set up" there was a pause in which the blond didn't deny the accusation "Where are you going with all these questions?" Alex exchanged a look with Ben. It was time to move forward.

"I need to know if you stole something from this man"

"That seems like an awfully specific question"

"That's because it is"

"What's going on Alex?"

"Just answer the question"

"Not until you tell me what this is all about. I thought you'd want to know more about why I left than what I did while I was gone"

"Right now I couldn't care less about why you left. You just did. What I need to know is what you took from that man and if you already gave it to MI6" Ian studied him carefully. Alex had begun to get worked up because they weren't going anywhere with his uncle's answers. At this rate, he was going to have to confess his own truth sooner rather than later.

"You've met with him, don't you?" the man accused and even though he was asking, he sounded certain enough. Alex's silence spoke for him "When did this happen? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm telling you now"

"Is he threatening you with something? If he is, you know I'll need to report this to the heads. You've been compromised"

"No! You can't! I just need to know what you stole and if you still have it. That's all" they couldn't get the rest of the agency involved. In fact, he shouldn't have involved anyone in the first place.

"I can't help you unless you tell me what's going on. What does he have on you?" Alex took a shuddering breath. He knew this was going to happen either way, it was their plan after all.

"Remember I wasn't alone the night of the crash?" Ian nodded "The other guy with me, Victor, they have him and they're gonna kill him unless I give them what you stole back"

"I'm sorry, Alex. Even if I could help you, I don't have it anymore"

"What was it?"

"I can't tell you that"

"Like hell you can't! Someone's life is on the line. Can't you get it back?"

"And give it to Carlos? That'd ruin years of work"

"Who cares!? You'd be saving someone's life"

"Even if I wanted to, there's just no way MI6 would agree" Alex didn't respond to that immediately. He stood staring at his uncle for a moment considering how to proceed from then. They'd never hoped for Ian to just give them what they wanted, but Alex at least needed to know what it was.

"They're gonna kill him" he stated trying to make his uncle understand the gravity of the situation.

"MI6 won't compromise an operation for just one civilian" his uncle wasn't making things easy though.

"I thought the operation was over the moment you were made" Ben intervened.

"Hardly, which is why we're insisting on Alex's protection. We can't have any loose ends or we risk losing all the ground we've gained" was he even hearing himself speak? Alex was his nephew and he was talking about him like he was a loose end.

"It's been six years Ian, how much more ground do you guys need?"

"I haven't worked on that op for the whole six years. It's been a slow process getting to where we needed to be" the blond had to remind himself to keep his focus where it belonged, otherwise he'd get lost in the endless pool of questions gathering in his mind. If the mission hadn't taken six year, where had his uncle been the rest of the time?

"So what? You just came here to make sure I didn't compromise you and your whole fucking operation?" they were getting nowhere, absolutely nowhere.

"In a way… yes" Alex couldn't believe this, the nerve of this guy! He wasn't sure he wanted to laugh or cry at his uncle's words. He decided to laugh.

"You guys are never going to outsmart this Carlos. He's way more clever than you" that seemed to catch Ian by surprise.

"What do you mean?"

"He knew more about me than you ever could. His plan wasn't to compromise you by hurting me, his plan was to compromise me to get what he wanted. His endgame isn't just revenge and the fact that you didn't know that makes him be one step ahead of you guys"

"If that's the case, you can't let yourself be compromised for a friend. This is a matter of national security, there's more than just one life at stake"

"He's not just a friend! He's my…" how to express what Vict was to him in a way his uncle could understand? He wasn't being compromised for just anyone.

"Whoever he is-" Alex decided to just burst it out.

"Everything! He means everything to me" there was a beat of silence in which Alex could almost see the wheels turning in his uncle's head. Then, he finally understood.

"Oh"

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Yes, Ian: 'Oh'!

Okay, I know this chapter hasn't been my best but it came to a point where either I could keep waiting for inspiration to strike or I could just get this part of the story over with. If I waited I was just sure the story wouldn't move forward for a long time. There are still a lot of unanswered questions but we still have time to answer them. Alex and Ian still need to have a few moments alone and Alex isn't done saying everything he needs to get out of his chest. This chapter was just the beginning.

I'd love to see what you guys think of this chapter. Also, if there's something specific you'd like to see happening in this story, I'm sure I could make room for it to happen. Something I'm particularly looking forward? Alex and Vict's reunion! I just ache whenever they fight or aren't together. I miss my babies!

See you later guys!