"Let me do the talking." was what Haymitch said before walking in front of her into the room.
Cato was already there along with his mentor, Brutus, who was pacing the room.
She didn't want to sit down so instead, she stood beside Haymitch.
"I think we can all agree that this is all ridiculous, but we already knew that about the Capitol." Haymitch started.
Katniss glanced over at him, surprised by his carefree tone. As if there wasn't a possibility that the Capitol was listening in them right now. If they set up cameras and mics in the dining hall, who knows where else on the train they were being watched.
"Yet, we still have to deal with this." Haymitch pulled out a chair to sit down. Katniss still opted to stand.
In all honesty, Katniss did not want to be there, but she would hate if her decision were being made without her being present.
So she stood there mostly in silence.
"I think the best strategy is to not come out and say anything." It was Brutus who spoke and the man's tone along with his words surprised her. "If we even try to combat the narrative, who's to say that it won't add fire to the flame."
Haymitch was shaking his head before Katniss had the sense to announce her dislike of his ridiculous plan. "That might work for you, but that won't be the best for us."
Katniss looked down at Haymitch, although she was standing behind him and could only see the back of his greying head. A part of her was surprised that she was looking out for the safest option for her and not trying to manipulate the situation to throw her into another fake love-cross relationship; one that she would in no way agree too, even if it had potential to save her from the ominous plans of Snow.
"Katniss is still grieving the loss of Peeta." Haymitch added in a very convincing voice, although Katniss could clearly see the humored twinkle in Brutus eyes as he stared at Haymitch and then quickly looked up to pass his gaze on her.
"Sure." He murmured. "And for how long do you expect Snow will allow her to grieve for?"
The realization that perhaps everyone knew the plans that Snow had for her made Katniss simultaneously sick to her stomach and brought on a headache fueled by her rage.
Haymitch sighed but pushed back his chair to stand up. "As long as the Capitol citizens care, and trust me when I say, there is nothing that they love more than a legendary love story."
He took out a small candy wrapped in red paper from his pant's pocket. "They'll care for a long time."
When they got to District 3, there was an argument about who should do the speech.
It was the first district they visited where one of the Victor's weren't a local, and although it was assumed that Katniss would make the speech, she abruptly made it known that she would be giving the speech the night before they would reach District 3.
"It's not like you have a choice, darling," Haymitch whispered loud enough for everyone in the quiet room to hear.
"I'm not doing it." Katniss continued to eat, ignoring all the eyes on her.
There was an audible short burst of laugh, and Katniss didn't have to look up to know that it came from Marvel.
Eventually, the sounds of cutlery against plates filled the room, and it was evident that the argument was temporarily laid to rest.
When Katniss looked up, out of the corner of her eyes, she could see a pair of eyes still staring at her. Cato's.
BREAK
In the morning, it was Haymitch pushing a thin, single page in her face, that made her realize that her resolve last night was not actually taken seriously.
Katniss glared at him without actually taking the paper. Despite Cinna restitching the arms of her jacket, she could have lifted her hand to grab the paper from Haymitch but she didn't.
Instead, she asked, "What's that?" fully knowing what it was.
"We all have obligations, sweetheart." He shook the paper again, moving it closer to her face.
"Don't let me do this." Her voice was firm but cracked slightly at the end of her sentence.
Haymitch sighed and lowered the paper. " All you have to do is read it word for word. You don't even have to be ecstatic. Cato's performance in 2, set the expectations really low, but since Snow has it out especially for you, you might want to put some heart in it." Haymitch's hand raised again, and the paper again was in her face.
The mention of Snow made Katniss's heart rate involuntary increase, but it wasn't enough to make her reach for the paper. If anything it strengthened her resolve that she wasn't going to pretend that everything was ok, she wasn't going to play into the Game that he set up for her.
It didn't make sense why he hated her so much. After all, multiple past Tributes had committed suicide as a way to escape the Game. She never would have thought she would, but after all, she did do the quick calculations in her head - Peeta was dead, her arm was mauled by the wolves, both the emotional and physical pain was excruciating, Cato and/or Marvel would probably come after to finish her off if she was going to die, she was going to do it on her own terms - it seemed like the best logical option at the moment, and she was prepared to die, until they stopped the Game, for her, so that she didn't die in the way that she wanted -that she chose.
She didn't manage to ask Haymitch, why? If he even knew the answer.
She sighed and grabbed the paper.
"So you are doing the speech." It was Marvel's cheery voice that greeted her as they stood in the room of the Main Building in District 3.
It was only the three of them, as usual before they went out on the stage set up for them. The Mayor of District Three and his family already meet with them and their mentors and entourage have already gone out to stand beside the other District 3 past Victors.
Katniss could hear the crowd that awaited them through the giant metal doors.
Cato, as usual, was quiet. In his own mind and space. Distant.
"It's not like I have a choice." Katniss hoped that the sarcasm shone through her tone.
"Oh." Marvel combatted. " You always seem to make yourself have choices. After all, it's because of your choices that we all here."
Katniss' head sharply turned to look at him, and although he kept his head straight and his usual cat-like smile on his face- no doubt embodying his mask for the crowd he will have to face in mere seconds - his eyes held something darker.
Again, though the corner of her eyes, Katniss could tell that it was Cato who was looking at her.
The crowd was quiet, and she could see all the eyes on her as she approached the tall standing microphone.
She clutched the paper with both of her hands. She didn't read it beforehand, she didn't know what it said, and as she looked from the crowd to the paper, her eyes could not even make it past the first few greeting words.
The cameras were there and everyone kept their eyes on her expecting her to make this speech.
But, she meant it when she said she wasn't going to do the speech.
She looked over to Haymitch as he stood with the other, and he nodded at her as if to tell her to go ahead and start reading, but as her eyes lingered on him, he clearly understood and Katniss saw him sigh before shaking his head sternly, but subtle enough that if someone wasn't looking directly at him, they would not pick out his action.
She wondered what he expected her to do. After all, out of all of the people there, he knew her the best. She wondered how he expected her to protest. Perhaps he expected her to start making a rogue speech against Snow or the Capitol, or lift her hand to do the gesture she did when Rue was killed.
Katniss turned her face toward the crowd, who was now concerned along with others about her silence.
Katniss started to whimper and lowered her head. She drew every memory she had of sadness and brought to mind the few times in her life that she actually cried, hoping to mimic them in a realistic manner.
Her crying broke the silence, and for almost a minute, her crying was the only sound present, amplified by the microphone.
The paper dropped from her hands as she moved her hands towards her face to cover it, as she let out a sorrowful moan ending with soft coughs.
She heard footsteps across the stage and soon enough an arm was draped around her shoulder, turning her around and walking her towards the entrance of the Main Building. Her hand covered her face the entire time and it wasn't until she was in the room and Haymitch locked the door behind them that her hand dropped.
Her face held a few tears but not enough to make the crying that she did earlier believable if anybody saw her now. She wiped them away carelessly with the back of her hand.
Her face was crowded by Haymitch's chest and when he moved closer to hug her, Katniss was initially concerned that Haymitch didn't see through her ploy, but when his lips moved close to her ear and whispered, "Keep it up, until we get back to the train." Katniss knew that what she thought was true, no one on this tour knew her better than Haymitch.
The mood was seemingly sobered by Katniss crying.
The dinner with the District 3 Victor was marred, by people treating Katniss like a delicate chandelier at risk of breaking down at any moment.
Being treated as such didn't bother Katniss as much as she thought it would.
It was an interesting experience of people not treating her like the "Girl of Fire" but instead like a traumatized sixteen-year-old girl.
After all, she was both.