"Boy, it sure feels weird to just run around like this." He said.
"What do you mean?" I answered.
"Well..." A weird glint appeared in his eyes as he looked to the side, into the snowy mountains.
"What are you seeing there?" Paimon asked suddenly appearing next to him and willingly yet unconsciously ripping him out of his little bubble of contemplation. He was spacing out alot that day.
"Nothing." He said moving the head of the small creature and poking her on the forehead which made her float a bit back away from him. "As i was saying... I never thought I would be able to just go on an adventure like that. I sure wish I had more days off duty... " His tone was both sad and cheerful, a weird unnameable emotion ringing in it.
"Are you sure about that? Cus you did seem pretty lost without anything to do in Liyue. " Paimon said again after floating up to him again. "What are your duties anyway? It's not like you are a very busy person from what I could tell so far..." She mumbled and he wanted to poke her again to which she braced herself seeing his hand go up but after a short sigh he put it back down.
"I'm making sure nothing odd is happening in Liyue... And watching over the area... Stuff like that." It seemed almost as if he tried to desperately change the way it looked. But Paimon never was the one to understand coded language so she obviously didn't catch the fact he admitted that he's a spy. I knew that from the begining though. After what happened in Monstadt it became obvious that Fatui are stationed in every city not for the happy vacation or diplomatic help. It was that their Archon had the need to know what's happening everywhere around; but I wasn't quite sure why nor did I want to know. Not yet.
"We'll stay here for the night." I said suddenly bringing their sight to me and for a second I thought they forgot I'm here as they were busy mocking each other which - I have to admit - i purposefully ignored.
"What do you mean 'here'?" His eyes now no longer had the shine they did earlier. Maybe it was just the moon reflecting in them, I wish it stayed that way for a bit longer. It made him look emotional and for some reason I was curious about these emotions hidden in him.
I was always good at reading people, or so I thought. Untill i met him i never made a single wrong guess about someone's ideals or intentions. I got his intentions right which was the reason I could never trust him even after he saved me from being arrested, but his ideals... I was completely wrong about those. Before i saw him as an enemy; someone i could never become friends with and someone who only cares about his own good. I thought he was never bothered about the money he gave us because he was too arrogant to realise that it holds big value. I thought he was using everyone around him and would kill anyone in sight if he didn't like the way they looked without caring for anyone... Their feelings... Anything. But then i met Teucer, a little lost and spoilt boy that showed me a whole new side to his brother. Childe - even though he would never admit was a kind person at heart. The words he told me that day in the fake toy research factory made it clear and then i suddenly reminded myself of all the good things that he said or did that i chose to ignore on the account of him being a Fatui. I realised that he may be bloodthirsty but he's not a murderer; on the contrary he wants to protect life and dreams of those he holds dear and he's ready to sacrifice his health and happiness in finding the strength to do that. I kind of admired him for his resolve, even though I would never admit it myself.
"The weather is nice. I don't see a reason to spend mora on an inn if we can enjoy a nap under a nice sky." I answered pointing up to the start as Paimon quickly nodded with her head first looking at me then at him.
"Paimon loves sleeping outside!" She said cheerfully with that Paimon-in-air-excitement. "It can make you uncomfortable in the morning and there may be some ants barging onto the blanket but it's worth it! Especially on a night like that!" She continued looking at surprised Childe that probably wasn't used to this kind of "accommodation". He was rich after all, why would he sleep outside when he could afford best hotels.
"Uhm... Sure?" He said scratching the back of his head and blinking rapidly a few times. I was a little bit surprised at his answer. With how he spoilt his brother i expected him to start fussing about him not willing to sleep in the dirt but he didn't even try to object.
I pointed to the top of the hill, where i knew hilichurls or fatui didn't usually hang out and started going in that direction half listening to Paimon and Childe's jabbering about random things and half focused on our surroundings scanning for any fatui soldiers, then i realised that there's probably no need for me to worry about them for once. Their boss was with me, they wouldn't attack if they knew who he was...
"What do you think, Lumi? Paimon's question got me out of my thought as i slightly jumped unexpected to hear her. For some reason I spaced out... It didn't happen often, almost never but now it did. I told myself that it was because I was too focused searching for fatui around us even though I knew it still felt off.
"Lumi?" He asked, now it occured to me that I never actually told him my name and Paimon never mentioned it either. Did he know Paimon's name tho? Well of course he did, she speaks of herself in third person after all. "Why are you facepalming suddenly, Lumi?" He said teasingly as if he was proud of the fact he called me that.
"Lumine for you." I said. I wouldn't allow him to call me by my nickname, i didn't trust him that much yet. "And I'm not facepalming." I said putting my hands on my hips. "I think we should hurry to sleep if we want to get to Monstadt soon." I looked at Paimon. It wasn't what she asked about and i knew it but it was the easy way to avoid a question without letting her know i didn't hear it. Though to be fair she's probably used to me ignoring her at times.
"That's not what I asked!" She said fussing a bit with her legs like a little kid and then floating closer up to the edge of the mountain where a small rock was placed. "But i think you're right." She said slowly descending down.
"You can walk?" Said Childe suddenly looking at her with shock. "I thought you only floated."
"I don't sleep floating." She answered as she looked at me waiting for me to magically summon a blankets into my hands like i often did as well as with my sword. I wasn't sure how it worked but it did, so i didn't complain.
I put one, smaller one on the ground next to the rock where Paimon was sitting and she descended lower on it and lied down as i put the second one next to it so she could have something to cover herself with at night.
"We have only four though." I said looking at young adult next to me with the corner of my eye as i was setting another blanket - a big one - on the ground. "I..." I started unsure on how to word it. "I would tell you to lay on the ground but the rustling of grass would be annoying so I will make you some space next to me." I said finally. I didn't want him to think I care - which strangely i did - because then he would think i trust him - which i still exactly didn't. I liked him, but it would take more than one day of me babysitting his brother to make me think he can have my trust... But he wouldn't leave his sibling with me if he didn't trust me, does that make me the bad one here for not returning that trust? And Teucer did mention he said about me in his letter, did he consider me someone worth mentioning to his family? He also said he wanted me to meet them... Why would he do that? And why am I thinking about all that now?!
"Something wrong?" He said suddenly being much closer to me and scanning my face as i realised I stopped moving for a while holding the blanket in the air as i once again spaced out. His face was too close for comfort which he either did in purpose or just didn't realise but either way, i moved myself away faster than he would be able to even realise he was way too close and my slightly warming up cheeks assured me of it. Why was i blushing for such a petty reason? I shouldn't care if he's close or far! It would be best if he was far! But Paimon wanted to take him with us on a walk to Monstadt when she saw him being lost and bored in Liyue, and strangely i didn't object that time even though he probably expected me to.
"I'm okay." I said quickly as I lied the blanket down and then crawled onto it. I looked at him for a moment as he checked on Paimon, who -as usually- was fast asleep without a care in the world. I didn't know what to say so I just patted the place next to me on the blanket as i felt my cheeks going back to normal... And then he chuckled and for some reason seeing him smile like that made me blush once again.
He lied on his back, next to me but far enough to give me personal space. I wondered for a moment if he's looking at the sky or simply closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep, but i obviously wouldn't just turn to look at him. It would be way too weird and personal for some reason. But i figured that I'm actually curious of the stars tonight so I looked at the sky myself.
"I never got to just look at the night sky like this." He said suddenly and before i could think of what I was saying the words left my mouth.
"The sky in Teyvat is so much different" I said. And then i realised...
"What do you mean different?" He chuckled again. "Different from where?" I wasn't sure what to answer. I didn't like to lie. Hiding wasn't direct lying but i couldn't just ignore it. I felt a bit if pressure and decided to change topic while i still could hoping he would go with it.
"Why did you have a day off anyway?" I said to which he chuckled once again. He did that alot and i didn't mind although it shouldn't make me feel as warm as it did to hear him do it.
"Someone told a certain Fatui official that my body wasn't doing so great because of all the Foul Legacy Transformation and they told me to rest for a few days and assign a subordinate to do my work for the time being." He said calmly and it made me wonder how did he become harbringer anyway. He was definitely a lot younger than Signora and yet he was already so high up in position. I wonder how does one even become a harbringer to begin with...
"Well you did look quite bad back then. Good thing Teucer didn't insist to see you before he left. Toy sellers aren't usually beaten up like that " I said mocking him a bit.
"He will learn someday. Just not yet." He said. His voice getting a bit nostalgic with a bit of longing to it. He must've missed his family alot and i could understand him, it was probably one of not many things we had in common.
"Did your parents even let him leave like that? Why wouldn't they stop him?" I said again without thinking and then it occured to me...
"If they were there they probably would have." His parents were gone. He joined the Fatui to gain enough power to protect his family so he wouldn't lose anyone anymore. But i didn't want to ask how they left. I didn't want to open up old wounds more than i did with that question. "Don't you want to become stronger so you don't have to lose anyone anymore?" He said suddenly. It was still a bit different for me. I was already strong... Probably much stronger than he could imagine but i couldn't tell him that... Not yet.
"It's a bit different for me" I said with a sadess in my voice. I blamed the dark starry sky for making me feel all sad suddenly... I always locked up my emotions. I didn't show anything but now I'm sure he heard that small bit of regret there.
"I saw the posters in Liyue." He said, i looked at him with a bit of shock; not because he saw them but because he bothered to read them. "I figured you're kinda amazing after i thought about it" That shocked me even more and i looked at him for the first time since we lied down. "I mean... You're trying to find someone you lost and miss and yet you still can step out of your way just to help everyone around." He blinked a few times and then looked at me. His eyes held regret. It was the first time since I learned of the Fatui that i questioned if they really are the bad guys. When I was little my mom always used to tell me and my brother these stories of villains that were doing bad things but wanted to reach something good through them. At that short moment when i looked into his eyes i wanted to believe fatui were the same, but something inside was telling me that it wasn't the case - and i averted my gaze.
"It's fun to journey like that." I said and now I suddenly felt massive despair coming my way and I sit up from the sudden flow of emotions which visibly made him anxious and he sat up as well.
"What's wrong?" He asked looking around thinking that maybe i spotted enemies. But there were no enemies. The only enemy i could think of was that goddess that stole my brother from me and his scared face as he got sealed away. He wasn't scared of being defeated, he was scared of losing me just as much as I was scared of losing him. And because of that fear we were now split up and couldn't continue our journey... And now it occured to me that he's really not here. I didn't feel so lonely before because Paimon was there but now I really felt the fact he wasn't next to me.
"Aether..." I whispered with wide eyes as if hoping that he will suddenly pop back right in front of me completely ignoring Childe's worry as i brought my hands closer to my face. I was crying.
I wasn't crying since i woke up alone in this world. I locked out all of my emotions at that time, i thought it would make me stronger and finding him will be easier as i continued to survive in this unknown world.
A sudden touch brought me back to reality. Childe's hand was on my cheek wiping my tears with his finger as he still sat next to me and made me look at him. I could see worry in his eyes but i couldn't tell him about me being from another world no matter how much I wanted to. Something inside me still didn't trust him even though I really wanted to tell to someone how lonely i felt. And at that moment his eyes widened as if one look at me made him understand everything and without saying a word he pulled me towards himself and hugged me tightly. Normally i would've tried to run away... Heck, normally i wouldn't even let him touch me. Or at least that's what I told myself. I didn't want to acknowledge the comfort i felt in his arms. I didn't want to and yet I found myself weeping against his shoulder as i returned his embrace and squeezed his coat in my hands hoping it would make the grief stayed like that with me for a few more moments untill i calmed down and i could feel his hand slowly caressing my head in what i thought was his attempt to calm me down. Oddly enough it worked because after a short while from my outburst of emotions i felt like I'm going to fall asleep where i was. Which normally i wouldn't allow myself to do but once again, oddly enough I didn't mind. I didn't understand it myself. I never thought I needed any kind of closure...
I never thought I would need his closure that night under the starry sky.