Chapter Thirty-Three

The sound of bubbling water woke Shadowheart. As he opened his eyes, he found himself laying on the shore of a river. The water babbled calmly nearby, and it took several moments for Shadowheart to process what had happened. Suddenly, he was thrown back in the gorge among fighting cats. He remembered Hawk delivering a fatal killing bite to his shoulder, and yet...Shadowheart felt no pain. An icy chill ran down the tom cat's spine.

Oh no, am I dead? Jumping to his paws, he looked around him. The river shore he was on didn't look familiar to him, and neither did the surrounding forest. Where am I? Is this StarClan? Visualizing the meadow he often awoken to when Silversky had visited him previously, Shadowheart had the faintest idea of where he was now. He looked down, and noticed the faint shimmer of starlight caressing his paws. Dread filled his body as he realized he must have died in the gorge under Hawk's claws.

No! I promised I would come back home! Frantic, he scented the air in hopes of finding any cat in this strange forest. Pacing along the shore, he lashed his tail angrily. I can't die! Hawk must be stopped! The sound of paw steps echoed nearby, and he looked up abruptly. Bathed in starlight, a familiar cat stepped out from the bushes ahead. Shadowheart gaped at the cat before him, taken aback on what he saw. It can't be…

"Did you miss me, brother?" the warm purr pierced his heart.

"Blackflame!" Shadowheart ran forward, stumbling and falling over at the dead warrior's paws. He gazed up at his brother, who had a fond look in his eyes.

Blackflame leaned down, touching his nose to Shadowheart's. "It's good to see you again."

Shadowheart stared at him, speechless. A surge of emotion bubbled up inside him, and he managed to choke out a few words. "I...I can't believe it's really you..."

"Of course it's me," purred Blackflame, lifting his head. "Where else would I go, besides StarClan?"

So this is StarClan, Shadowheart thought sorrowfully. Staggering to his paws, he lowered his head. "I...I shouldn't be here," he mewed softly. He dug his claws into the ground, gritting his teeth. "I have to go back! Blackflame, please!"

He felt his brother lay a paw on his shoulder. "Come," he replied simply, turning and heading into the forest.

Staring after Blackflame a few moments, Shadowheart took a time to compose himself. Heaving a deep sigh, he followed slowly. Blackflame led him through a well trodden path, walking confidently, as if he had always lived there. Birdsong chattered overhead, and a gentle breeze rattled the lush green tree tops. Sunlight dappled the forest floor, and Shadowheart could hear prey scurrying about in the underbrush. This place is so alive, he mused. And yet, neither of us are.

They finally came to a clearing with scattered clusters of flowers. Every color Shadowheart could imagine was spread out before him, waving in the warm breeze. Blackflame stopped and looked back at Shadowheart with an unreadable expression. Meeting his brother's gaze, Shadowheart couldn't help but wonder why Blackflame had been the one to greet him, instead of Silversky.

"Blackflame-"

"I know you want to go back," his brother cut him off. "And in time, you will. You are on the verge of death right now, Shadowheart. That is why you woke up in StarClan."

Eyes wide, Shadowheart lifted up one of his paws, still glittering with starlight. "Then why are my paws like this? And why are you here and not Silversky?"

"I wanted to see you," Blackflame replied, blinking slowly. "I've watched you since I joined StarClan, you know; I was worried."

Shadowheart returned his gaze with a bemused expression. "Me? Why? What about Sandpool? What about your kits?"

He sat down with a purr. "They are fine," he mewed confidently. "Sandpool has the support of our Clanmates, and the kits have you. I know they will be fine, even if I'm not there with them."

"How can you say that?" Shadowheart blurted out, feeling his emotions pour out. "Don't they mean anything to you? Minkkit...he's so much like you! And Daykit, she's so smart! Aren't you angry? You died, Blackflame! And I let you! Don't you feel anything about that? About me?"

Blackflame sighed, a smile crossing his muzzle. "Mouse-brain," he headbutted Shadowheart's shoulder. "You always shoulder everything on your own. I lived my life, I have no regrets. Sure, I miss my mate and kits, but I know that they will live on without me. As for you, Shadowheart, I don't blame you for what happened.; nor do I blame Cinder. When will you finally learn to trust in your destiny, and in what StarClan has planned for us?"

"How can you say that?" Shadowheart felt his throat tighten. "Do you have any idea how hard it's been without you? I live with the memory every day of that night; it haunts me. What good is a destiny, if all the cats you love die around you?"

"You're right," Blackflame agreed, his eyes gentle. "It's been hard on you. You've had to carry this burden on your own for a long time. But Shadowheart, you're not alone. So many cats in StarClan have watched out for you, and you have your Clanmates. You don't have to do this alone anymore. It's time to trust that others can shoulder your burden too."

Shadowheart closed his eyes tight. "What happens if it becomes too much?" he whispered. "What cat would stay around then?"

"Oh, I know one cat in particular that will be there regardless," guessed Blackflame, his eyes shining. "If you haven't figured that much out yet, then there's still a lot you need to see for yourself back in LeafClan."

Blackflame weaved around him, and Shadowheart took in his brother's warm and familiar scent. If only you could come back to the Clans with me. He gently pushed away from his littermate, and for the first time, noticed starry figures emerging from the forest beyond. Blackflame walked to twine his tail with one of them, whom Shadowheart instantly recognized as Silversky. Beside her, Echostar, Sagepelt, Oaktuft, and even Leopardstrike stood; their pelts sleek and shimmering with stars.

"Your journey has just begun," Blackflame told him, his silver eyes glowing with wisdom. "StarClan will light your path always, my brother."

A warm assurance spread through Shadowheart's pelt, and he felt more at ease than he ever did. As his vision began to fade, Shadowheart noticed the starlight on his paws begin to slowly drift away. At peace, he let the darkness take him.

The familiar tang of herbs hit Shadowheart's nose as he felt life fade back into him. Pain seared through his shoulder and neck, making him unable to move. I'm back, he realized, struggling to open his eyes through the pain. I've come back to the Clans.

Once he was finally able to blink open his eyes, his vision cleared to show him the inside of LeafClan's medicine cat den. Pinefrost's familiar pelt shuffled through the herb stores nearby, while Ravenfeather's black fur was steadily rising in slumber close by. He felt another warm pelt pressed against him, and weakly shifted his head to see who it was. Instantly he recognized Firelight's bright orange fur. How long have I been in StarClan? And how long has Firelight been by my side while I was gone?

"Let's see, I could use some more dock, especially after the battle," muttered Pinefrost a she shifted through the stores. "I'll need to change Shadowheart's dressing on his wound still too..."

As she glanced over at him, her eyes widened when she saw Shadowheart staring back at her. Leaping to her paws, she rushed over to him, trembling.

"S-Shadowheart!" she gasped, causing Ravenfeather to stir.

"What's wrong?" the black she-cat murmured sleepily. "Is it time to check on Foxstar again?"

Shadowheart felt too painful to lift his head, and instead gave his friend a meek look. "I'm back."

"Shadowheart?" Ravenfeather instantly sat up upon hearing his voice. Her eyes shook as she gazed at him. Voice breaking, she choked out, "You're alive! Oh, I thought we lost you!"

He felt Firelight shift beside him. The ginger warrior grumpily growled, "Quit making so much noise. I'm trying to sleep here!"

"Firelight, Shadowheart's awake!" Ravenfeather exclaimed, shaking her with her paw.

Taking a few moments to wake up, Firelight was suddenly alert after processing what the medicine cat said. She quickly turned to face Shadowheart, her eyes wide. She's going to yell at me, he guessed. I deserve it too; for being such a reckless idiot.

Staring at him as if she'd seen a ghost, Firelight seemed at a loss for words. "You're...you're alive," she breathed.

"Just barely," Shadowheart half-joked, hoping to lighten the mood.

"You're such an idiot!" Firelight snapped, her body trembling. "Do you have any idea what it was like to see them drag your half-dead body back to camp?" Voice shaking, she went on. "Everyone was sure you weren't going to come back to us! It's been three days! And now, now you're back..." she collapsed into his flank, and Shadowheart could feel her body wrack with sobs. "I thought I'd lost you, you stupid furball!"

Guilt weighed heavily in his stomach. Firelight, Ravenfeather, and even Pinefrost were so worried about me, he moved his paw to touch Firelight's flank. Thank you.

Lifting her head, Firelight gazed down at his paw. She reached her paw out to touch his. "I'm sorry I scared you," Shadowheart rasped, trying his best to ignore the burning from his wounds. "I'm here now, though. I won't leave you just yet."

"That's right you won't," Firelight muttered, meeting his gaze. "...you mouse-brained idiot."

Purring weakly, Shadowheart shifted his gaze to Pinefrost. "Have I really been gone for three days?"

Pinefrost nodded, frowning. "Y-Yeah. Your wounds were so bad, and you lost so much blood. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to keep you alive. You weren't responsive at all, and at times..." she trailed off, closing her eyes tight.

Ravenfeather laid her tail across her mentor's back. "Everyone was really worried. The Clans suffered a major defeat in the gorge. And when Foxstar saw you fall under Hawk's claws, she tried desperately to save you; but Hawk struck her down, and she lost a life. It took everything the Clans had to escape back to the forest."

So we lost, Shadowheart bit back from saying. "Is Foxstar okay now?"

"She managed to come back from StarClan when she was dragged out of the gorge," Ravenfeather told him. "But she was really shaken up over your condition. When morning comes, I'll go and tell her that you're awake. I'm sure that will cheer her up immensely."

"For now," Pinefrost butted in, leaning close to examine his wounds. "You need to rest. You might have woken up, but you're far from better." She turned to Firelight. "Now that he's out of immediate danger, you need to get some rest yourself. You barely slept these past few days. Go to your nest and get a nice long sleep."

Firelight looked like she was about the protest, but with one glance at Shadowheart, she reluctantly sighed. "Fine. I'll come back after I've woken up."

"Thank you, Firelight," Shadowheart mewed gratefully.

Shaking her head, Firelight walked away. "….stupid furball."

Purring, Pinefrost turned to Ravenfeather next. "I want you to check on Foxstar," she told her. "StarClan might have healed the worst of her wounds, but I'm still worried about the one on her side."

Ravenfeather dipped her head. "Okay," she turned to Shadowheart. "I'm really glad you're okay, Shadowheart."

Once she left, Pinefrost stared at him with an intense green gaze. "You know," she started, making Shadowheart feel slightly uncomfortable at her piercing stare. "While I still had hope that you would come back to us, I knew logically that there was no way a cat could come back from a wound that serious. What exactly happened, Shadowheart?"

Hesitant, Shadowheart closed his eyes. "Well, when I went unconscious from Hawk's attack, I woke up beside a river. My paws were shining with starlight, and I was certain I had died," he opened his eyes to gaze at her. "That was when Blackflame came to me, and told me that while I was in StarClan, it wasn't my time to die. We had a long talk, and after that, I woke up here."

Pinefrost narrowed her eyes in thought. "That's not like StarClan to send a cat back from the dead," she murmured, mostly to herself. "You must have a bigger destiny than I thought."

"Wait, you know about it?" he asked, shocked. What else did his friend know about him?

Nodding, she began to change the dressing on his wounds. "I learned about your destiny moons ago, when Ravenfeather first became accepted as my apprentice. StarClan came to me, more specifically, Echostar, and told me that you would be the one to save the Clans. I was doubtful at first, but now I'm truly beginning to believe their words."

Shadowheart stared at her. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"What good would that have done?" she retorted, smearing some poultice on his wound. "It was something you had to find out for yourself."

"Do you really think I can live up to such a destiny?" he murmured, feeling doubtful of himself. After all, he had failed to kill Hawk the first time. What if he messed up his supposed destiny?

Pinefrost carefully began to cover him in cobweb. "I think you're capable of doing anything you set your heart to. And I truly believe that if any cat can put an end to Hawk, it's you, Shadowheart."

Remembering his battle with Hawk, Shadowheart felt his mind wander. Was that true? Was he the one to save the Clans? Or did his destiny entail something he had yet to foresee? Closing his eyes, feeling his mind drift off into slumber, Shadowheart wondered if maybe StarClan made a mistake.