EPISODE 2: THE VOYAGE OF THE GREAT DETECTIVE
In the middle of a vast desert, I stood alongside my partner, the Great Detective.
"Holmes, me pal, is this really a wise thing we are doing right now?" said I.
"Of course, dear Watson. By following a star in the sky, we shall surely be taken on exciting adventures."
Us two travellers crossed the desert until we set sight upon a simple stable. My partner dared a peek inside, and urged me to do the same.
A lone woman was there, with no man in sight. Then, an angel descended upon her and in her hands lay a person of a masculine nature that was not there before. A child that could not have been birthed by this woman, and yet was.
"Jesus Christ!" I cried.
"That's right, Watson," said Holmes. "That is the child named Jesus Christ."
A child born through impossible circumstances... it reminded me of the birth of young John Ryuunosuke.
Ryuunosuke was standing on the port of Japan, ready to board his ship and set out to the Great British Empire once again. They were to set out on the famous S.S. Alaclair. There were many ships just like it, but this was the real deal. He looked over his shoulder and saw John Ryuunosuke sleeping on a suitcase. Ryuunosuke walked over to him anxiously and started tapping him on the head to get his attention.
"Umm, John Ryuunosuke, I'm terribly sorry for interrupting your scheduled nap time, but I need to take the suitcase so we can board the S.S. Alaclair and begin our journey to London."
"No, father," said John Ryuunosuke. "I will not remove myself from the suitcase's surface. Why? Because I know what you and Miss Mikotoba are planning. Inside this suitcase is a woman named Haori Mame-something or whatever, and you intend to sneak her across the country borders, isn't that right?"
"YAH!" screeched the suitcase.
"As I thought. Father, it is illegal to smuggle people out of the country. As a lawyer, you can't do that or you'll get fired."
"Sorry, John Ryuunosuke," Ryuu bowed his head shamefully. "But sometimes breaking the law is okay. For example, I broke the law in the same way when Asougi smuggled me to London, and if he hadn't done that I never would have been able to stop the evil corruption behind the legal system and everyone would probably have been enslaved by now. It's the same for Haori except this time it's just so Susato doesn't get lonely."
John Ryuunosuke never thought of that.
"Okay, father. I admit, you have more experience with this world than I do and that you therefore understand the nuances of morality vs legality more than I. I shall allow you to smuggle Haori into London, but if you get caught, I will testify against you so they don't charge me as an accomplice."
Ryuu cried two tears that stuck to his eyes and he bowed so much he hurt his head on the ground.
"THANK YOU JOHN RYUUNOSUUUUUUKEEEEEEEEE!" he yelled.
And so the ship set off with it's passengers Ryuunosuke Naruhodou, Susato Mikotoba, John Ryuunosuke, Sherlock Holmes, a hundred other people and, secretly, Haori Murasame. They were in the first class cabin because of their fame from John Ryuunosuke's unnaturally rapid development into adulthood. Ryuunosuke was sharing a cabin with Holmes and John Ryuunosuke while Susato was, as far as the staff needed to know, alone in the cabin next to them. In reality, Haori was there too.
That evening, the three men stayed in their cabin until evening when Mitrov Stroganov came in with dinner.
"Dinner served! Dinner is beef stroganoff. Dinner is joke about my name. Dinner is funny, dah?"
Stroganov put every plate on the table then he bowed as far as his thick body could go then he left. Ryuu and his roommates ate it and it was good.
After dinner, things were quiet. Holmes was lying in bed reading under the light of the lamp while Ryuunosuke and John Ryuunosuke were still sitting at the table.
"Father, I am curious, just how many days will it take to reach this "London?"" asked John Ryuunosuke.
"Last time I went there it took fifty. That means it will probably still take fifty days, my son," said Ryuunosuke.
John Ryuunosuke yawned.
"That's so long. My life has only been two days long so far. And you expect me to wait twenty-five times that? Ridiculous."
"Your maths is very impressive, John Ryuunosuke, but unless we get a faster boat somehow, we're not going to get there any quicker."
Then John Ryuunosuke fell asleep.
Ryuu shrugged, put his son in bed, and then as he was tucking him away, he fell asleep too!
It was still the middle of the night when Ryuu woke up. John Ryuunosuke was still sleeping like that baby that he technically is, and Holmes had fallen asleep too. Ryuu was groggy and wanted to sleep more, but then he heard someone scream in the next cabin. That was the cabin Susato and Haori were in!
Ryuunosuke rushed out the door loudly enough to wake up his son and Holmes. He started banging on the door demanding whoever was in there to open up. Then he realized the door wasn't locked so he went in.
At first, he saw nothing, heard nothing and smelled nothing. Then he turned on the lights and saw Haori was dead!
"SUSATO WHAT THE FUCK?" screamed Ryuunosuke.
"I didn't do it, she was like this when I woke up," said Susato.
"OPEN UP, DIS IS THE POLICE, EH!" the voice of an elderly man suddenly boomed around the room. As Ryuu turned, the already-open door violently swung even more open and a large old man was standing there. This was no man Ryuunosuke would expect to be residing in a first-class cabin, so he presumed this must be an occupant of a second-class cabin. He was fat, there was no nicer way of putting it, and he wore a black shirt with suspenders, gray hair and a stupid grin.
"Oh my! Quite the trouble you lot have gotten yourself into, eh?" said the man.
"Pardon me, my good man," said Sherlock Holmes who had followed the man in with John Ryuunosuke. "...but who might you be?"
The man tugged at his suspenders and released them, making his stomach bounce. He must've thought it looked cool, but he was no Mamemomi.
"I am Kuraudo Ooishi of the Japanese police department. My skills as a great detective told me there might be a stowaway here, but I see someone already took care of 'em. Nfu fu fu fu."
Ooishi turned back towards Ryuu and Susato.
"Now, lessee 'ere. How can I spin this to make as many arrests as possible...?"
Ooishi pointed at Susato.
"You were sharing this room with this lady here, eh? I can tell because that's just common sense. It's your room. And why would the corpse be here if she were with the boys? Obvious!"
Then Ooishi turned to Ryuu.
"And you m'boy musta found outtabout this, been enraged to find out your legal aide wasn't being very legal, and skewered the stowaway to teach 'er a lesson."
"WHAT?" shouted Ryuu. Before he could question Ooishi's convenient and self-serving logic, the man had tackled him to the ground. Susato tried to fight the man off but his weight was too much for her to handle. Ooishi carried the kicking and protesting Naruhodou out of the room while urging the rest of them out.
"Now then, friends, I'll investigate this crime thoroughly tomorrow. 'til then, stay in yer rooms and don't move or I'll arrest yous too. Have a good year!"
Ooishi made his exit out of the first class hallway with Naruhodou under his beefy arms and slammed the door behind him.
(A/N I've only watched specific scenes of Higurashi just to get a basic grasp of Ooishi's character but I'm confident that his portrayal here is flawless. Do not criticize or I'll have him arrest you too!)