Long time ago in galaxy far far away

The avnture ontued with Drum Solom who just saved the universe from the evil Fist Order. H ewas reutning to the Death Cube )the big space ship from the lat part) and he needed to reducer Luke Skyeaer.

"I'm coming Luke," Drum Solo said, speeding up to the etrance for the Death Cube.

Of course everyone who was there was gone or dead. "Works for me." Said Drum Solo. So Drum Solo thought, before going to look where Luke went, he mas as well stick around and turn the Death Cube into his new crib so to speak. And that is what he did.

The death cut ah become the PARTY CUBE and Drum Solo had big pans to throw big parties with lots of drinks, sex, and women. But as Drum Was tring to fix up his holo jukebox, the machine began to shor circuit and this made Drum Solio vangyr. "Damn, what hte giuve fives!" He kicked the machine in frustration. "Guess I'll come back to this hunk o fjunk."

And he would, but that was for a later sotry. Elsewhere, notoris bounty hunter Gogo Fett was on his trle but it wold not be easy because Drum was very good ate hid and seeker, or at least he betterer then the younglings from Episode III which i thogut was very good moovey. "Whar is here?" He saidid. "I hav to find him befroe things get sticky."

Back at the story at hand, Drum was getting board of the piece times. Sure he had space women and even coller space weepons from last epice tail but he knew he could be even bigger than dad who is deaded now. So he stole Lando sped bike that was parked in the nearby space alleye whic happen to hav keys inside. "Smell ya later, Loser! Eayt space dirt." An so he rode off into next journey to find adopted brother Kyo Rlen.

It was Kupo Ren on the sith homeworld and he was Holding Luke Skwalker at GUn point. Jylo laughed evily as Luke dug up Darth Vader body. "Once you dig him up, I will use evil sith magic on him and h e will be back strong erthan ever."

But at this the bearded old Luke disagreed and said, "Kylo you retard, that magic will be your undoing."

"SHUT UP" Kylou shouted. He piked over like a very fat kid at a a vary big candy shop and he alomst drooled. Ther ehe saw Darth Vader mask and he got a sick evil boner.

Draging out Bader body Kylo Ren summoned red looking magic from his hands and ehcnhated spell into Vader and hten there was more laughing. Luke could only cringe.

"Stop this now," Luke saided.

Then the spell was completed byeacse Kylo hadn't in facte listened to Kuke. He did a very poor jo bat listening to Luke skyaloer always. In fact Kylo wasn never once to listen to his elders and this was one of his many many faults. The spell finished and there was a big boom and the stehced for brimstone was so strong it nearly made Luke nose bleed but Luke could use force healing so it didn't matter.

Finally Luke saw Ren's clothes were empt and though eh was worried Kyo Rne was running around naked he knew what htis really meant as the sond of heavy vader breathing viudl be ehard.

"He he he", Darth Luffed greatly. "Finally! Now I have all power in Galxy! Id like to see my looser borethe fight me in this boide."

"Umm actually, I'm getting force phone call. I thinkt it for you/" So Luke handed new Daerth Kylo the space cellphone because je never uphgaed rhe force for facetime. "Who this be?" Asked Kyo.

"Yo mean, you dont reconize voice of mine?" Saided the stranger that was in reality Drum Solo but he was just haveng fun at expensoe of his stupid relative. "Im the guy who brought Dad corpse to last space Barbeque."

"Wait, could this be you, Drum Sole?" Asked Darth.

"Umm, yeah probably. How else you thought I gotted this number, bro?" Drum said with smug.

This offended the adopted brother of Han, not because he was charging Uncle Luke's space phone bill but because he never received his invit to there father's funeral. "Well now thay you got me on the line, what is it you want eacatly?"

"GLad you asked. I know you have new body because I have color ID. I colnt care mroe about that but I want to know fi ther ear any more space babies that I can have good time with?" Said Drum with wink but Kylo Vader hung up abrupt like the rude dude he can be at tines.

Drum Solo sighed with heavy breathe. "Sigh, guess we gotta do it the hard direction then!" He briefly remembered that the initial reason he had to come hear was to defeat Firs Order so he would need to do that first. Even tho he waned ot go it alone, he thought to himself that would way more awesome if he had witnesses to tell of his grateness. In a haste, he quicklhy called up Rey who was busy doing her hair and other girly things you do in the Galaxy abd Lando reluctantly joined them because "cmon, Kiddo1. You promsed me those reddits from ole Papa Han an I expec you to hand them over!". Drum shrugged with disdane, "Yeah yeh, you'll get your money old timer! Just get on bike I stoler from you!"

And they did. Unfortunately, none of them remembered to bring space compass with them and had to settle on a spotty GPS single to find First Order bass. However, outsid of XXX Cantina #42, there was big billboar that say "First Order mini boss this way, Drum!", so they did with fast tactics and it was good. It would take less than parsec if going lite speed but they dint so they settled for the almost as goof "hevy speed". If there was galaxy stop watch it would have saided something to the affect of 3 minutes but no one remember to do that so know one knows for sure.

Outside the base, there were hencement who were on brake so they forgot their weepons in the armour. "Finally, a chalenge!" Drum Solo said with ultra gun at side and he brutally shot them all down. "Umm, you know I could use the force to knock them out of something right?" Asked Rey but it was too late so no one answered her.

"Listen, if they didnt want to dye, the just get oufd way baby." Drum Solo spoker with confidence so Rey believe him. They approach the door, but it locked and no one had key. Drum thought brillant idea anf knocked on food VERy loud. "Damn, if only they had senate budget to install space doorbelle." Drum was made, VERY made; he shoot at door with laist pistol and ram it with Lando bike even thog he dind have insurents but it did no damge.

Somehow, this gave Drum even better idea than burte force and that wasnt a pun. "Hey Landor, give me your bike keys."

"Umm, not sure what you going to do but as long as I get them badk before the night ends, I guess its okay." Lando said who was too afraid to correct Drum.

Drum Smile bigged. "Yep, just as I thought! Space keys are universal, duh!"

FINALLY it was time for the mini boss and it was revealed to be a RANMKOR in chains and Firor orer mind control dvince. Drom Solo smiled at tuios monter knowing he would be much tougher than the usual pep seeaked he was to fight. He asked for Rey ad andor to record his fight then he charged in guns blaixng and fught with the rankor. He almost worked up a sweat but Drom solo could always keep his cool against the bigger variety of monster fighting.

Afterwards he asked if they had filmed it on their fones and Lando showed his holo hpne but he had his thumb over the camera. This angered Drom Solo so when Rye went to use the bathroom he did not invite Lando to brothel and he slept with all the alien babes he could before Rey was able to makie it back to the hover car.

Just when Drum Solo bulled his zipper up two first order solidr walked into the bar for happy hour. He shot one in the head on killer cool instict. That solidr was actually a rapist. Drum Solo had a feeling for those kind of things and alway made sure to aim for the cortch wen taking out the trash.

The other soldier seauled like a girl and shouted, "PLEASE! Don't shoot me! I only took up this job to keep up with the rent."

"Gfive ne good reason I don't shoot," Drum Solo said, "Because that reson stupid."

The solider take off his hlemt ot reveal black guy, "I don't have a name. Please, I just wanted to become a cool space hero and thought this was an okay way to get some experience."

Drum Solo noticed this man smelled like bad fish, "You semml like bad fish."

"It's my cologne, I think tye gave it to me as a joke."

"That is funny" said Drm SOlo, "I will call you Finn. You can roll with me and I will show you how to pick up the babes. But in return you must take me to your leader. My brother."

"This my new home dog," Drum Solo said showing off Finn to Rey.

"Charmed," Rey said

"Alright, alright," Drum sold said. "Let's not get too chummy on hte mission. Where is Lando?"

"Over, here, kid." Sai dLado, stepping out of holo phone booth, "Ready to go when you are."

"That is good," Drum Solo sad, "let us go."

And so the four heroes followed Finn advice to go to the sith homeworld of Oogabar. It was an evil looking planet with lots of thunder and lightning. When they landed everyone gout out of vehicle but Lando said they go for enough.

"It's been real, Drum, but this is far enough," sia dLando.

"What is this?" ask Rey.

"It's a double crossing," said Lando with gun on our heorres, "I'm selling you to the first order. Gotta keep up with the rent and all."

"I always knew you were bitch made," Said Drum Solo, "but why sell out your own best friend's son."

At this Lando eyes got very watery and his voice crack like weak gurl, "Because you're always bullying me! Never inving me into the bars witht he sexy girls. Always pshing me around! I can't take that kid, your dady was cool. But you aint your daddy."

"Are you saying I ain't cool!?" Drum Solo shouted in offense.

"Ill just be using the bathroom," Said Finn, not wanting to scrap his knes.

Lando made doubhebag smile, "Guess I'll be collecing those 60 space redits after all"

"No don't think so," Said Drum solo, ready for fight. Both were using power attacks and stragedies, but it no work well. So then they tried using MEGA power attack, and looked like at first it work, but no damge. Then Rey remembered that she had to go unpliug her toaster from Jakku, so she did and came back only to see the fight ended like a half hour ago.

"Where youve been, huh?" Said Drem Solo. "I apregended the traiter off screen while you were gone! Shame bout havieng killer him though." Forutnaly, they were abel to frisk his dead corpse anbd fond secret sith holocron but it wouldnt be important unti;l next chapter.

As the fight happened we go to Kylo Vader who was sitting on the evil throne of Ooogabar, it was on mountain that look like morodr. Kyo Vader sat very bored as he had just ordered a new clone army from kaimoo anb it would be a while before it would arrive so he would just have to waiti conkering the universe thil later.

hi s second command was General Hux and he had nerdy ginger hair. Or at least that was what Kylo Vader always thought. General hux had holo clip board and was giving over the budget.

"We need to put off your clone army," siad genrl hux, "we still have to pay off the Death Cube from the last epiosde so either go geti ti back or we will be losing credit score.

But this was boring to Kylo Vader who then blew up General Hux because het thought it was funny. And it wasnt.

Now was good time as aby so Drum and Rey did the sext REAL good, like that scene in Titanic were Jack is painting Rose Tico. First, she tryed using force technieuqs to spic things up like mines of keesl. Then she put on sex Leia cosplay from Jabba palace sceen which Drum was into even if it did look a bit like his mom Genral Leia. Drum revolt his "pistol" downstares and Rey tried not to luff because it wasnt as big Ultra gun he yusually carry but what matterd was how he used it, whcihw as good. He feared off powerful shot, put his ever present sunglasses beack on and say "Oh yeah, the force is strong with this cum!". They than read the sexy jedi texts, and put back on shelf. This whent on for many hours and booth had good tine together.

While that had happening there was a flash and it was general hix but inly he had the letter H printed bigly on his forehead. "I thought I killed you," said Kylo Vader with bad breath.

"You did," said general Hux, "but I am now a hologram because you can't just get rid of debt that way." Kylo Vader thought this was dumb, but he thought this was Hux would be like the guy from Red Dwarf, which was a show he liked, so it would be okay.

"It will be okay", he sayed.

What was no okay was when General Hux saw Lando Carison's served head bounce off of the sith throne. "HOLY MOLY!" He said at the sigh of the black guy severed head.

"Where is he?" Said drom solo said walking up the hill to the throne, "Where is my faggot brother?"

"You can't hurt me," said General Hux, "I am hologram now. YUu can't hurt hologram."

"Bitch face says what?"

"What?" Said Hux like an idiot so Drum Solo walked up to him with power gloves which were able to hurt holograms. He put Hux in knuckle bandwidth and it hurt him a lot. "WHERE IS HE!" Said angered Solo .

"He want to the caino planet!" sAID GENERAL hologram hiux, "He neede money so he go to rob casiono!"

So Drum Solo told Rey to stick around because she wanted to study sith science which was here, she thought it could help rebuild the jedi but Drum Solo didn't care about. That. instead he high fisted Finn and said they would get to go gablming on Casino Planet.

When they get there, they used Hans' rainy day fund that he was probably going to spend on weepons and spice drug anyway so Drum just thought of it as his overdue aloiwabnes. "Sorry popa, but im more important to galaxy now."

Gambling was frowned upon but not uncommen in these parts where Hutt ruled offer. Finn tapped on Drim's shoulder, "Umm, shouldn't we be looking for bother instead of betting space tokens on booze and floozies?" This offended Dram greatly, so he gave him chocolate bare and hoped he look other way. "Here kid, take this and leef me alone. Im got some business o tend to first!"

Whie Fine was aving great time being cool guy, Drem was being even COLLER guy and getting "the job done" (and weemon as well). Then, he was apporche by gay bo brother Kabo Rent. "Looking for me, huh, SOLO?"

But Drum not listening becaus ehe wa s in the winning to make big money with he can used to make his Death Cube party pad why better and maybe even pay off space debt if he had extra thaat is.

"HO is trying to get my attenshun?" Asked him to Kyo. "Im tryna make a name for myself in this fne establishment, and that name is DRUM SELO!"

"Drom Solo I alway hate you, you never were worth ing being the Mario to my Luigi," said Kylo Vader and this get deep under Drum Solo skin

"That cold, broo," said Drim Solo.

"Not as cold as you when you are FUCKING dead!" Kylo Vader take laser pistol with sith magic buff and shoot Drom Solo in chest.

People gasp, and titty alien made of tits run aaway screaming. Drom Solo had smashed into black jack table and chips go everywhere but as Kylo Vader see Drom Solo and he saw this.

Drum Solo had singe mark on his chest but it no pierce his armor. Instead, Drom Solo was already and casually lighting cigar in his mouth and stood up in one jump, "Shall we finish this?"

"Yes," said Kylo Vader, "I fight you, then you die. Meanwhile, alien mercenaires I hire will rob the planet."

"Mercnaries?"

Drum Solo look over and see almost naked alien lies with boods. Huge boobs even. They were called the Venus Tramps and they were very distracting to Drom Solo ocnestration.

"Damn, not my oncestraions! I can't focus with all sexy ladies on my mega pisrol!" Or at least Drum thought allowed, but in reality, he out on his patented space sunglasses that made ladies look lik guise so that he wont be turned on by them. "Shame I gotta toast some broads, but it okie because there more at home waiting for me. You will payer for this, step bro!"

"Wait a minute!" Drum Solo put up hands and stop battle, tho he waited for Venus Tramps to stop their boobs from jiglling. "Vader." Drum Solo lower his glasses cooly, "You not really that douche bag Vader, are you?"

"No, you retard," said Kylo Vader. "I am your brother!"

"That's not true," Drum Solo said, "that's impossible!"

"No it true, I show you," and when Kylo Vader upon his vader mask, Drum Solo quickshot laser beam from pistol into Vader eye. He yelp like a plup and get sith blood on table. "Clean up on aisle ME!" Drum flex like gymnast medal hero.

"OUCH! That's cheater." Said Darth and he used the evil force to kill all pepole in room accept him ans his brother. "Whoa, just take it easy, man!" Solo saider and this gave Darth Kylo time for thought, which gave him enough time to excape on the Tie FIghter that his brother had parked out back thanks to his universal Lando space keys.

"Damn you, Borther!' Scremt Kylo. "This not over, not by a hooskhot!"

"Umm, that's LONGshot, maroon. But Ill see you in epice conclusipn next chapter, loser!" Said Rum Solo as he grabt Rey and they make off AND out at same time on whey back to their house, aka, Death Cube squared.

This made Klo EVEN engrier, so he took anger out on Luke which made him dyeded even more than Mark Hamill already wast in Teh Last Jedi.

"Shouldn't we finally save master Luke Skyaler?" Asked Rey, naked in bed with Drom Solo who had once again given her the business.

"Lter," said Drum Solo, "I'm sure he can wait a little while longer."

Finn enter room and make sorry face but Drum Solo say it nothing to be worried about. Finn was wearing a vest and was now working for Drum Solo as his personal bar tender on Party Cube. Speak of which

"Speaking of which," Drum Solo, getting champagne bottle from bar. "It time ti pary!"

And then a bunch of lights went on and there was a disco ball and some other party stuff and the throne room was now the party room adn it was like the ending of Austin Powers were there was a bunch of people dancing.

General Lieuh took mega phone from nearby stanf and say "Not to interrupt, but I got news that my brother Luke Sywakler was killered by your brother and my other son. Shouldnt you be doing something abut it, Domr Soli?"

"It can WAIT, mom!" He said. "Its not liek those old guys can vome back to life or anything, they did not live thier lives to the full."

Which was true, so Lie shut her dumb mouth up like good woman who know her place. And party when on for many days, weeks and nights. Gogo wasnt invited though which probably made them really sad but we wont kno more til we find about ther back story in future story.

Buzz Creamer was there and he coild do hand stand while taking shoots what Drim Sol thought was pretty cool. He tried it too and and did it better.

EVeryone went to sleep, and it was good. They needed to refresh their mind, body, but mostly pirvste parts, for bigger adventures were ahead of them.

To Be Contued