Missing dinner is not an option. Richard Castle is going to be present and interested in his daughter's life no matter how distracted and worried he is about Beckett, the dragon, the Heat manuscript, and life in general. He glances at the clock again hoping time would slow down or the traffic would suddenly part like the Red Sea. What good is owning a Ferrari if he can only go 20 miles per hour? He looks again at the time. Five minutes until dinner. Frustrated, tired and feeling the weight of real life or death decisions, he forces himself to relax. Maybe a few extra minutes to clear his mind will help. He's been snippy and distant with Alexis and he needs to put on a better act that everything is fine. What is that Zen nonsense his mother teaches students? Breath. Just breath. Deep breaths. In and out. Breathing might be all that is under his control at the moment.
After finally getting the flashy red vehicle secured, he dashes into the elevator. The timing is good because the delivery person with the Italian meal from Maialino is waiting to catch the elevator in the lobby, so Castle pays him and both hurry along. Rick juggles the bags, his keys and the door to the loft only to stumble in and find Alexis already setting the table. "Dad, your timing is perfect! What's up with that?"
"Oh ye fruit of my loins that thou hast so little faith!"
"Ew, can we not talk about your loins - ever?"
"You were supposed to like the reference to fruit since I ordered strawberry gelato! What do you say we eat in reverse: desert first, then lasagna?"
Alexis scowls, "And here I thought you were growing up since you were finally letting go of some of your toys!" She make a point of putting the cold confection in the freezer and transferring the entrée, bread and salad to the table.
"Alexis, don't ever become too grown up to have fun with life. Your gram and I may be unconventional in some ways, but we both believe in finding joy in even the most mundane moments of life." He feels like a hypocrite because his emotions are anything but joyful these days. Unrequited love does that to you. Regardless, he made a vow to himself to make amends for the part he played in all this. He's doing for his own mental health, not for Beckett.
"I know daddy. I love that about both of you." She dishes up her plate and pauses, "Speaking of finding joy in life, it makes me think about Mr. Beckett. You described him as looking like the weight of the world is about to crush him. I want to help."
Rick tries to keep his reaction unaffected. Damn him for bringing it home.
She looks hopeful. "I could go see him."
The last thing he wants is to allow his daughter anywhere near the edges of the scorched earth where the dragon taunts Jim. He is ready to deflect her good intentions until he meets her eyes. Those baby blues are indeed a window to a good and pure soul. A person who, despite her frustration with Kate's withdraw, wants to spend time with a lonely older man who needs a lifeline. But a Beckett is a complex creature who might push his baby bird away. Privacy - that is another can of worms. How to explain Jim's nemesis and what his fledgling might find some evening when she went over there? "You have a good heart, pumpkin, but Mr. Beckett is facing some demons that I don't think he would want you to see."
She tilts her head. "I'm guessing he's an alcoholic."
Eyes wide he stammers, "but how...?"
"You had no problem making Nikki Heat a bit of a slut but you never mention her father in the books you've written so far. That leads me to believe there is something very personal that you're trying to protect. My generation fights drug addiction, but his age group is more likely to have alcohol problems. I know addiction is an illness and you are too caring to disregard his privacy, but never mind the particulars. The point is I want to rally around Mr. Beckett and keep his spirits high without artificial stimulants!"
"What about fencing practice? The tournaments are coming up soon and you planned on devoting a lot of extra time to practice." He wants to shield her from everything dark and steer her to everything good. Alcohol isn't about feeling good; the ability to numb pain is the true seduction, but his red plumed offspring doesn't need to know that. He wonders what Beckett would think of Jim and Alexis spending time together.
"Maybe I could digitalize the photos you were telling me about." She rushes on knowing she can wear him down, "The photos are being slowly destroyed by the acid in the paper and if they aren't rescued soon, the damage will be permanent and they'll be lost forever!" She blinks those baby blues at him and searches for more reasons to get her father's permission.
He gives in. "I think that would be very special, Alexis. I know the scrapbook you put together for Captain Montgomery's family brought them a lot of joy. Mrs. Montgomery was worried about how to keep Roy's memory alive for the girls, and your new albums did that for them."
The album, and going through their pictures, netted another prize worthy of life and death status, but that was something Alexis doesn't need to know about. He forces his mind back to the immediate concerns, "I was thinking of ways to keep Mr. Beckett distracted while Kate is away healing. I thought I could guilt mother into finding a play that he might like."
Alexis lights up. "Yes, let's fill up his evenings! I'll do the album with him instead of bringing the photos back here. That way I'll have an excuse to be there with him." She immediately picks up her phone and Googles 'James Beckett, NYC, lawyer.' "Wow, he made page one of the search results."
She shakes her head knowing her father's assumption, "No, not because of the murder. Those results are way too old to have this much impact. He is described as a 'Top Legal Strategist' with some big swanky law firm. Listen to this: 'James Beckett is one of the region's foremost experts on successfully navigating federal appeals.' I would love to get his perspective about using the judicial system to affect social change."
She worries and looks to her father, "Are my motives wrong if I say I want to help Mr. Beckett but end up asking him a hundred annoying questions about stuff I want to know?"
"I think it means that you genuinely want to spend time with him and I am less likely to be accused of putting you up to this!"
"Good! Let's think of more reasons for me to visit him. Oh, I know - you said he was eating a frozen dinner. Maybe we could get Food Truck Chuck for a few meal deliveries. That way I could eat with Mr. Beckett without being a burden. No wait, it would fill up more evenings if you could hire Mr. Chuck for a few cooking lessons! And I bet Dr. Parish and Detective Ryan would do a movie or something with him!"
He reaches across the table to squeeze her hand. "You are amazing. After dinner we can make a list for Operation Busy Beckett."
"Lame, Dad. I expect better from you." She heaps her plate full of salad and takes a modest portion of lasagna and only half a bread stick.
"I'm about to disappoint you again. I'm disappearing tomorrow - I may or may not be gone all night." Beckett is at the safe house surrounded by the security company which is a miracle because she went willingly. Ryan and Esposito are laying low, so now he needs to go after the dragon. Simple plan but dangerous to pull off. He shakes off the distractions and scoops up some food matching his daughter's portions and taking the other part of the bread stick.
"You have a work thing tomorrow night. I've heard the messages from Gina threatening dire consequences if you miss it." She takes the half bread stick off his plate and replaces it with a full one. Then another scoop of lasagna gets added and she hands the Parmesan and grater to him and impatiently waits until he adds the cheese, shaking her head in disapproval, until a sufficient mound has accrued.
"I've had many calls, texts, and emails reminding me of the work thing. I told Paula to cancel all my events for the next month." He forces himself to eat, not tasting the food. He needs his strength for what's to come.
"You aren't going to the literacy convention? You were really motivated to attend even though Paula wasn't sure you would garner much publicity while doing it."
"I am sorry to miss out on it, but it's unavoidable. I'm not sorry to miss out on Black Pawn's New Beginnings Gala."
"I don't know whether to continue to be worried or see it as a good sign that you are blowing off your obligations for reasons I don't want to know."
"I was going to try and sneak out without telling you, but you need to know I won't have my phone powered on so if something comes up you'll need to reach out to Grams."
Alexis picks at her salad, then pauses, "You were on time with the manuscript despite the horrific events at Mr. Montgomery's funeral. I know how many hours you put in rewriting things. Gina needs to be more supportive of you, but I know she won't be."
Castle sits back unconsciously at the mention of his ex wife's name. He flexes his fingers remembering how stiff and sore he got towards the end of the marathon writing sessions. "Gina's priority was and always will be about putting work first. I knew that when I married her but doomed our personal relationship because I didn't realize that wouldn't change." Some people don't change; he needs to get that through his head. Just because he is trying to grow up and be a better man it doesn't mean he's the right man for Ka...
Alexis interrupts his thoughts, "You always put me first and no body puts you first."
"A parent is supposed to put the well-being of their child before their own wants. Relationships between adults are a confusing mix of give and take, but I do a really good job of getting what I want even when it's not good for me."
"So how is your relationship with Detective Beckett any different from Gina? She takes and you give, and then she disappears without a trace. Wherever you're going - is it to see her?"
The elephant in the room just squashed the tranquility. Suddenly the food in his mouth has all the appeal of ground glass. "No, I'm not going to see her."
"So she's still ignoring you. Another instance of a woman whose actions don't put you first."
"Actually, she's not ignoring me. I've received two letters from her."
"I'd ask how she's doing but since you don't look happy, I'm guessing her one-sided communication is just another way to keep you at a distance."
He snaps at her, "Why do you chose to put a negative slant on it? Could it be that she made a thoughtful choice to reach out to me with words - a method of communication that an author would find very meaningful?" Normally he would try to hide his emotions from his daughter, but he just doesn't have the energy. He gives his daughter a rare look of reproach. She doesn't need to know he shoved both envelops in a desk drawer and hadn't read either of them.
Alexis is surprised but accepts the rebuke with a thoughtful nod of her head. "I didn't think about it that way so I guess I've got some soul-searching to do." Their father - daughter relationship has been strained lately and Alexis is trying to patch things up.
"Honey, I'm sorry. I shouldn't take my bad mood out on you." The father pushes his plate away, appetite ruined again.
"Maybe I need to look a little closer at the work Detective Beckett does so I can empathize better. I can't imagine what it's like to be shot and suffer through trying to heal." Alexis gets a determined look, "I know: I can do a scrapbook about Mr. Beckett's legal career for Kate. It can be a get-well present for her, and maybe it will show them both there's more to their lives than the death of Mrs. Beckett."