Callum:

Height: 187 cm

Weapon type: Dual Blades

Preferred weapon: Deathsnarfs

Armour: Wroggi

Armour pigment: Blue

Monster: Greatest Jaggi

Age: 21

Place of origin: Loc Lac

Hair colour: Black

Hairstyle: Short

Eye colour: Brown

Trivia: Is the Batman.

A young woman started writing down on a piece of paper.

"Good morning, my name is Anastasia Petrou! Today, we're interviewing the rare monster taming hunters!"

"A group of hunters, currently nine, who officially haven't named their group as of yet, but are known for their somewhat incredible teamwork… with their monsters. However, they have reportedly been seen breaking the law with acts such as incredibly loud screaming, not paying debts, property destruction, bribery, murder, torture and incredibly loud screaming while trying to escape unpaid debts… well changing the subject… what I'm here for today is to learn about them and to spread the information about them. Are they the next step forward for the art of hunting, or just a step in the wrong direction! Let's find out! Because we're doing that! Right now! When this scene transitions! Waiting on that line! Come on! Please! I'm begging you here! My family have abandoned me and I'm starving! This making a lot of money is my last hope or else I'm ending it before hunger gets to me! Come o-"

"There we go."

The interviewer found her way around town, eventually finding a hunter with black hair. He had an Azure Rathalos following him around.

The interviewer managed to stop him, though she did have to use the last of her funds to convince him to stop.

"Good morning, sir! Could you please tell us a bit about yourself?"

"Ah, morning. I'm a hunter, Sean. Pleased to meet you. My preferred weapon is Heavy Bowgun. I also happen to be followed wherever I go by an Azure Rathalos, seven pawns and an obsessive stalker who has a Pink Rathian."

"Erm… Could you please tell us a bit about how you hunt alongside your Rathalos?"

"Well, the typical strategy is to get onto Azure's back. Then I shoot the target. While he shoots fireballs at it and generally spams from the air. Then it dies. Works most of the time. Sometimes though we poison it. Then it dies better. Sometimes we fight things that can fly. So I stand on the ground in siege mode while Azure has fight in the sky. So far, we're at HR6, but we haven't run into anything that can match him in the air, I imagine that there's only a few monsters that can, outside out of Elder Dragon tier monsters."

"Hmm… Any interesting stories to tell our viewers?"

"Well there was this one time when we fought an Akantor. It took my left arm and my left eye before finally going down, it truly was a strong opponent."

"...You… You still have both of those things you claim to have lost."

"Well yeah, obviously that's because I just made that up."

"..."

"You want a real story? Pay up, I charge 100,000 per story, regardless of quality."

"..."

Anastasia then got up, realising that this battle had already been lost and walked away, trying to find the next hunter, hopefully one who was more normal and/or useful.

Anastasia eventually found her way to another hunter, who she identified as Riko, who didn't have a monster. But still the interviews must go on.

Anastasia started to converse with him "Could I have a minute of time to a-"

"Sorry, I already have a God." Riko replied, as he worshiped the almighty Konchu, so he could be spared from their wrath when their day of reckoning arrived and become a Konchu himself in the Kingdom of Konchu.

"No, I mean-"

"It's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when. You should join and become a child of the almighty Konchu."

"What, no. I want to ask you questions about being a hunter."

"Oh, right, okay then."

"So then, could you please state your name?"

"The name's Riko, I'm a HR 6! I've hunted many great opponents, though obviously none as great as the almighty Konchu in the sky."

"R-Right… Could you please tell us a little about your hunting career?"

"Well I hunt with these 7 dudes, and some of them have monsters. I hit the monsters that aren't their monsters."

"Do you work well together with the monsters at all?"

"Well… no."

"...In what way?"

"Well sometimes I'm trying to hit a monster but the monster will want to hit the monster also but the monster is too big for both me and the monster to hit so we are not happy about this as both of us can't hit the monster."

"I… See…"

"I'm not done yet. When we disagree we have a showdown, where we have our backs to each other, take three steps forward and then on the call turn and shoot each other with a bowgun. I win each time, I don't really think I'd survive not winning."

"I… Okay yeah that's fine."

"But first, before you leave madam, would you spare me a minute of your time to talk about our lord and saviour Konchu?"

"Ah be quiet, that joke will be dropped after this chapter."

Riko tried to say something but was cut off by the line.

Next, Anastasia found a hunter with short black hair and a Great Jaggi.

She planned on interviewing him, knowing that he was part of the group of hunters, but there was something that was just so uninteresting about him that he seemed to repel any form of interest. Just from looking at him, she knew that he had nothing to his character other than his Jaggi. His development would be non-existent. While it's wrong to judge a book by its cover, he was nothing more than a cover. His Jaggi did seem interesting, but the uninterest somehow managed to drown the interest.

So she just kinda drifted off and found another hunter.

This time around she found a hunter with shorter brown hair. He had a Plesioth generally following him around.

"Good morning, sir. Would you please tell us a bit about yourself?"

"MY NAME IS BEN. I AM A HUNTER WHO MAINS SWITCH AXE."

"Why… Why are you shouting?"

"I TURNED CAPS LOCK ON. ONCE YOU TURN CAPS LOCK ON THERE'S NO GOING BACK."

"Erm…"

"WHAT? IS THERE SOMETHING THAT YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT MY CURRENT SITUATION! WELL THEN, GO ON! I'M WAITING! THERE ARE NO WRONG ANSWERS!"

"You…"

"I CAN DO WHAT, HMM!"

"You can…"

"HURRY THE HELL UP! STOP BEING SO NERVOUS! WHY ARE YOU NERVOUS! I MEAN YOU NO HARM!"

"You can turn it off by pressing the button again!"

"WHAT!? ...Holy shit… I never realised… I have so many people I need to apologise to! What have I been doing with my life!?"

Ben then ran away, tears streaming down his face.

"Thank you! Thank you so much!" He yelled, vanishing into the distance.

Anastasia was half-moved half-confused, but she continued onto the next hunter. He was a hunter with green hair and a Lagiacrus.

"Hello there sir, could you please tell us a bit about your job as a hunter."

"Ah, good morning! My name is Anthony, I main Hammer. I also have a Lagiacrus, who is called Wave."

"How do you two work together?"

"Well I hit things. Wave also hits things. We both hit things. Stunning is quite useful. I do it with my hammer, Wave does it by hitting the monster a lot. I can't really ride on his back too often due to the electricity attacks, but when I do we get around fast. Lord of the seas and all that."

"Cool." Anastasia replied, walking off.

"WAIT A SEC! AREN'T YOU GONNA ASK ME ABOUT OTHER STUFF AND STUFF!?" Anthony yelled, losing both formal language and hope.

"Like what?" Anastasia asked, pulling an Asuka from End of Evangelion face.

"LIKE WAVE'S SCAR ON HIS TAIL!?"

"Do you know how he got it?"

"...Well… No. No not really."

"Bye."

Next, she found another hunter, this one didn't have a monster, but seemed at least somewhat normal.

"Could you please state and tell us a little bit about your hunting?"

"My name is Alexandra, I would prefer not to state my last name, I am a HR 6 who specialises in lances. I don't have a monster currently, but I'm looking out for one that I can fight beside."

"Can you tell us a little bit about your peers (because they sure won't)."

"Well… there's Zach, who constantly tries to assume the role of group leader, no matter the situation he finds himself in… for better or for worse. Then there's Joseph, who has excellent teamwork with Daimyo, but it feels like he relies on Daimyo too much for his own good. Ben is confident, but doesn't seem to know his own limits. Callum seems physically as strong as the rest, but for some reason he lets himself drop his self-worth all the time. Riko seems to hunt for no reason other than he can, if that makes any sense. Anthony's a skilled, but less focused on efficiency and more on standing out. Sean is a good hunter, but doesn't understand preservation of life, he only seems to see monsters as more money. Alicia's good at getting the job done, but seems unfocused, like she has another goal. Just my general thought- wait where did you go?"

"As if any viewer these days would read a wall of text like that, they don't care, they need their information broken down individual chunks of exposition." Anastasia thought as she walked off.

Next, she found Joseph, who was taking a break at a cafe, despite the fact that he wasn't doing any work today.

She sat down opposite him, but didn't order anything.

"Um… if it isn't you… you… good old… you old so-and-so… sure has been a while, hasn't it… I remember that one time when…"

"You don't know me."

"Yeah I was just realising."

"So, anyways, can I ask you some questions?"

"Sure."

"Could you please tell us about yourself and your hunting career?"

"Well I'm a bow main who has a Daimyo Hermitaur, who I named Daimyo. He's pretty much my best friend. We work together well, I've had him since I was like… Well since I was about six-ish. So he's been there for everything, and I mean everything. I act as the weapon, while he's the shield. It works pretty well."

"Hmm… how does he get along with other monsters?"

"Well… in terms of Zappy, Plessy and Sanchez, he gets along pretty well, they've had their monsters only a few years less than I have. He gets along with Wave surprisingly well, though he keeps his distance during hunts. I think he might be a little scared of the two Raths, just from how he stays away from them a lot of the time."

"Hmm… Well… Last question… Are you a particularly big fan of maid cafes?"

A girl with cat ears walked up to the table, carrying coffee. "Here you go, master."

Joseph paused, acknowledging the camera and the fact that what he said would most likely be put on the internet and if life really went wrong used against him in court.

"No." He unconvincingly lied, while the girl asked him if he wanted to take a picture.

Anastasia gave up and walked off.

Next, she found Zach, who was in a normal place that wouldn't be used as a joke setting.

She copy/pasted the introduction thing and they began conversationing.

"Well, I'm Zach and I mainly use Gunlance and have a Royal Ludroth called Zappy. I think I must've been hunting for about… three years now?"

"How do you hunt with your monster?"

"Well Zappy takes away the monster's mobility and then while it can't move I hit it a lot. Though that's usually at the end of hunts, I shouldn't of started there. The common tactic for the start of hunts is to valiantly ride into battle on Zappy's back while shooting the monster, until I'm close enough to hit it and then I hit it until it dies."

"Okay… well here's another question. Why is it that you hunt with a monster?"

Zach smiled, as if deep in thought. His smile seemed content, like his life had lead up to this moment.

He suddenly stood up and posed dramatically.

"I NEEDUH A MONSTAH TO CLOBBAH DAT THERE KIRBEH"

It was at this moment that Ben jumped through the window, sending shards of glass flying everywhere.

"THAT'S WHAT WE DO BEST AT NME!" He yelled back.

Then Joseph jumped through the opposite window, injuring a fair few customers with glass shards.

"AND YOU BETTER GET IT WITH A MONEY BACK GUARANTEE!"

Then Callum jumped in, but that part of the song only had three people involved, so all he did was kill the mood.

Ben sighed dejectedly. "It's a shame, that was a once in a lifetime opportunity."

"Wait, Ben?" Zach asked "You can talk normally again!?"

"Oh yeah," Ben replied "Turns out all I had to do was turn caps lock off."

"HOLY SHIT!" Joseph yelled "WE MUST CELEBRATE THIS!"

"Joseph… Didn't you just turn caps lock on…?" Callum pointed out.

"DON'T WORRY! I JUST HAVE TO TURN IT OFF! UM. WHAT. NO. STOP. BEN. HELP. HOW DO I TURN CAPS LOCK OFF."

Ben shrugged "I forgot."

Joseph then remained in caps lock themed despair until the four of them were arrested.

It would take him four days to realise that he was speaking and the concept of caps lock only applied to computers and that he was not a computer.

Anastasia meanwhile, had lost any and all faith in the intelligence of humans. On the other hand, she had worked out why almost all the important people in the world were wyverian.

She was very tired, but stumbled her way towards the last hunter.

This one had light pink hair, kinda Chiaki Nanami coloured, and a Pink Rathian.

"Hello madam…" Anastasia managed "Could I ask you some questions…?"

Alicia was instantly concerned "Hey, are you okay? You look like you've given up on living!"

"Yeah. Yeah that sounds about right… anyway questions…"

"So then, as I've asked the other hunters in your group, could you please tell us a bit about yourself and your hunting career?"

"Wait, so have you gone around asking everyone? How did you find Sean, I've been looking for him all day."

"That's besides the point could we just-"

"What did you interview him about!?

"The same thing I asked you and he just told me some story about an Akantor. Anyway-"

"What!? An Akantor!? I've never heard or seen that one! We've known each other for years, why the hell did I never catch word of this! I'VE KNOWN HIM LONGER THAN HE'S KNOWN AZURE!"

"Madam please, calm down, this is getting derailed. I just want to-"

"YOU'RE PROBABLY IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM AREN'T YOU! THAT'S THE ONLY LOGICAL CONCLUSION!"

"How did you even- no. No, I am not in a relationship with this man."

"I won't let you."

"?"

Alicia then stood up and reloaded her gun.

There was a fair amount of struggling and screaming for a while.

Later, Alicia worked out that Anastasia wasn't lying.

She kinda felt bad as that could've helped her in her goal, but really this happened everytime she suspected a woman of being in a relationship with him.

Lying to herself that next time would be different, she left Anastasia to sleep with the fishes.

TO BE CONTINUED

So yeah there we go it's a chapter look at it take in all that chaptery goodness.

So yeah for some reason let's talk Monster Hunter Stories.

I mean… it's not too bad. Though it's certainly not great. Honestly I'm a little disappointed that they decided to go with Stories for the anime, because if this archive proves anything it's that a good story can be made out of base Monster Hunter

*cough* Lost Civilisation *cough* Hunter's Oath *cough* Sky Kings *cough* Other stuff that I haven't read yet *cough*

Damn I really coughed a lot. But outside of name dropping fics that are actually worth your time, even the characters aren't that great. So the felyne is nothing other than comic relief most the time, though that said I did enjoy his focus episode. The rest of the characters honestly don't have enough distinction or memorability. Also death seems to be far too glossed over in it, despite happening more than you'd think.

Example: Main dude finds out his parents were killed, starts yelling things excitedly a minute later.

Red dude's mum dies, but a day later he's over it.

Well, I'm gonna stop before I lose any enjoyment that I get from this show, but at least in the new episode a tsundere was shown, which is good because I'm a firm believer in the idea that Tsunderes can save the world.

Also Fire Emblem direct, while I don't have too much faith in Heroes, Warriors and Echoes look decent. Also unless a Monster Hunter gets announced the release date of FE15 is the day I'm buying a Switch.

Finally, the next update will be skipped due to my school deciding to have end of year exams at the start of the second term for some weird reason, so, not wanting to fail at life, I'm going to focus more on revision than this. New CFD will be uploaded because that's already finished, but the next DBA chapter isn't started because I'm writing a 300 word author's comments about the new Monster Hunter anime and why it isn't all that good.

See you then probably.