Chapter 4

Disclaimer: One day, I will own RWBY. And Red vs Blue. However, when I asked for the rights, all they did was call security, and then I body slammed by a luchador. So until then, It belongs to Rooster Teeth.

AN: Holy crapbaskets! over 190 favs! We made the top ten of Jaune x Ruby pairings! Thank you all so much! Now onto the questions addressed in the reviews.

Most people seem to be seeing the whole thing as Yang's fault. Well, we'll have that fact brought to her later. Plus, Yang can't be held responsible for the actions of two young adults, only the fact that she was the one who supplied the booze.

Next up, Why not do an abortion? I feel that it would go against everything Ruby stands for. She would never take a life, much less a baby.

Alright, onto more lighter terms, TO THE CHAPTER. Lone Wanderer, out! *Jumps out window*

Editor: Isn't this room on the 5th floor?

Yang was having a good day. She had successfully avoided the death glare of the wicked Witch, who was still trying to find evidence that the campus's rather…sexually immature problem was done by the blonde brawler. Still, while most of that night was a drunken haze to Yang, she had a blast, and definitely left her mark on the school. She was gonna go down in student history as one of the greats, for both her skill in combat, and her legendary party.

Yang walked out the training room, clocking in a new best against team CRDL. A part of her would always smile at bringing the large men to tears. Stretching out her tired body, Yang sat down in the hallway and relaxed. Nothing could ruin this day in her eyes.

Her nap was interrupted by a buzz from her scroll. Huh, says it was from Professor Ozzy. Yang wondered what the headmaster could want with her. Couldn't be about her...manly touch to Beacon, cause she would have heard about it months ago, and from the the Wicked Witch. Yang opened the message.

Taiyang was having a long day. Working at Signal was draining work, requiring patience the man was desperately running low on. The past two months had been long for the Hunter, having to work overtime because of an incident involving an Atlas tank and his least favorite student. Rubbing his temple, Tai let out a groan, his migraine pounding against his skull. This was almost as bad as the time he tried to give his eldest daughter her first haircut. God, he still felt aches from day. Who knew a 5 year old could throw a table? At least Tai knew Ruby wouldn't get in any trouble. She was much more tame then Yang, preferring to stay at home and do weapon maintenance rather than go to parties. Yeah his youngest was a little anti social, but in Tai's eyes, that wasn't a bad thing. He wouldn't have to worry about boys till much, much later, and at that point, he wouldn't have to care.

Tai's eyes snapped open to a buzzing coming from under the piles of paper buried underneath his desk. Letting out a groan, the teacher began to shift the papers around to find his scroll. Finally unearthing the device, Tai looked at the screen.

From Ozpin. Jesus, what did Yang do this time?

Qrow stood outside a bar, holding a fist up as the door slammed on his face.

"OH YEAH, YOU'RE SERVICE SUCKS ALMOST AS BAD AS YOUR BOOZE!" The gray haired man called out as the owner flipped him off. Qrow walked away. Maybe he had gotten kicked out before he could get any real drinking in for starting a fight with some of the bar's more well known patrons. But in his eyes, they had it coming, harassing the poor girl they had with them. So maybe he did go a little overboard, but hey, it runs in the family. The past month had been one big haze for the dusty old crow. Hell, he could have sworn he'd seen his youngest niece talking with some wimpy looking guy, but hey, he was drunk, and Ruby was known for being socially awkward. It was probably just Yang, and that was far more believable considering her track record. He was still hearing Tai bitch about how she destroyed some crappy club.

Qrow felt a buzz in his pocket, and checked his scroll.

What do you want this time, Oz?

"I'M DEAD, I'M DEAD, I'M SOOOOOOOOOO DEAD."

"Jaune calm down, They don't know quite yet, we still have time to follow the plan"

Ruby and Jaune stood in the middle of team RWBY's dorm, the rest of the team thankfully absent. Blake was out of town getting some new books, Weiss was meeting up with her older sister to probably kick a small animal, and Yang was beating the crap out of team CRDN. Jaune was panicking, pacing nervously across the room, with Ruby trying to calm him down. The Arc had entered a full blown panic, fearing life as he knew it would end soon. However, they were silenced by a sudden boom, sending the room shaking. It didn't sound that far from the small dorm.

"What was that?" Jaune asked, fearing the answer.

"That" Ruby paused. "Was probably Yang."
"JAUNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

"Definitely, definitely Yang."

Jaune curled up into a ball and moved to the corner. He was gonna die. Killed by Yang, then revived only to be killed by her father and uncle. Then brought back one last time for his mom to kill him. This was the end.

"Jaune get up! And put on your disguise! Sun will be waiting for you at Haven! All you have to do is make it there alive in one piece! Can't be that bad" Ruby said with a rushed tone, trying to motivate the Arc. Ruby took a deep breath. "Jaune, do you want to die in the most painful way imaginable, or do you want to get your ass up and live to see another day!?" Ruby huffed.

Jaune finally got up. "I don't have a choice in this, do I?"
"Nope"
"My life sucks."

Yang saw only red. She read Ozpin's note, and saw the Arc's name. He was gonna pay for touching her younger sister. No one, NO ONE, Touched her sister and lived, much less knock her up. She bolted towards the dorms, leaving a trail of beaten students in her path. Not if even the teachers dared to stop the Blonde's rampage. She tore threw JNPR's dorm, breaking through the wall, to reveal Nora drawing a near naked Ren, who only had a pink towel wrapped around his torso.

"Jaune. Where. Is He." Yang gritted out, her hair flickering behind her.

"Oh Jaune, He said he had to go meet Ruby for something, Studying I think?" Nora said, giving a grin like nothing out of the usual just happened.

"Nora I don't think this is a good idea-" Ren tried to tell her, but was cut off by the hyperactive Ginger.

"Ooo, I wander what they're studying!? Maybe they're studying Biology, or Human Anatomy!"

And at that, what little control of her rage Yang had went off the deep end, drowned, and went to hell.

She broke through the only non broken wall in the dorm, bulldozing her path to the Arc, visibly foaming at the mouth with rage.

"I think Jaune's gonna have a great time" Nora said as Yang punched a poor student who got in her way through the roof. Ren could only facepalm at the situation, and wandered what his leader could have done to piss off the Brawler to this level.

Jaune knew this wasn't gonna work. He knew this plan wasn't going to work when they came up with it a week ago, and he knew it wasn't going to work now. Unfortunately, it was the only thing they had planned that had any chance of letting him live. He scratched his lip, the fake mustache causing much discomfort. Slowly creeping down the hallway, he went to JNPR's dorm to collect the rest of his things, hoping not to be seen by anyone.

"HEY YOU!"

Jaune wandered what he could have done in his past live to deserve such shitty luck. Maybe, just maybe his disguise would work. Turning around, the Arc saw a sight that nearly killed him on the spot form fear alone. Yang was standing in front of him, her hair blazing, golden flames flickering off of her mane, her eyes red with blood lust. Please don't see through the disguise, please, please, PLEASE!

Yang squinted her eyes, giving Jaune a hard stare, thankfully not recognizing him. "Have I seen you before?"
Jaune stayed true to his disguise, and answered the brawler through his thick mustache.

"No, No, mi nombre es Juan Arc" Jaune replied in flawless Spanish, His sombrero covering his trademark blonde hair. Yang seemed confused, but definitely not seeing through his charade. He silently thanked his mom for forcing him to take all those classes on learning the blasted language. While she claimed that it might one day come in handy, Jaune never thought it would be used to save his life.

"Oh, you must be one of the foreign exchange students. Well, If you see a blonde punk about your height, tell me, OR ELSE" Yang said with a dark look that screamed of bloodshed if crossed. Jaune could only bring himself to nod, then bolt off in the opposite direction.

Finally making it to his dorm, Jaune was shocked to see two Yang sized holes in the walls. Ren was standing there with a dull expression, more tired because of the oncoming finals. Nora, on the other hand, was pinning a pink sloth poster over one of the holes. Jaune was glad Pyrrha was out on a tournament for the week, because the Arc was gonna have a hard time explaining himself to her.

"OOH Look Ren! A Mexican! Good, we needed some cheap labor to fix our walls!"

Jaune mentally groaned. Of course that would be Nora's first thought.

"Nora, I don't think that's an actual Hispanic." Ren stated, trying to calm the hyperactive girl down from her antics.

Jaune yanked off the sombrero and off his head and ripped off the fake mustache. "OW! No, It's me Jaune!"
"Jaune's a mexican who's gonna fix our walls? Oh Jaune, Yang was looking for you, here, let me call her, YA-"
Jaune quickly covered his hands over the Pink Powerhouse's mouth. "Nora! Quiet! I'm hiding from Yang! She kinda wants to kill me in the most horrible way imaginable." Jaune said in a hushed town, slowly taking his hand off Nora's mouth.

"Why would Yang try to kill you Silly?" She chirped.

Jaune let out a sigh, and looked around for anyone. He was not about to let such a huge secret be told to some eavesdropper for blackmail. He did not want to live through another round of Cardin's punching bag. Turning to the half his team, Jaune began to explain the current problem.

"Look, remember that party Yang threw 2 months ago? You know, the one with the Special Drinks? Well, turns out me and Ruby...KindaMaybeSleptTogetherAndNowShe'sPregnantAndHerFamilyIsGoingToEndMeInTheMostPainfulWayPossible" Jaune rambled.

Nora and Ren seemed to understand his rambling, and started at him blankly. Finally Ren broke the silence.
"Well, Seems like you better run. But Jaune, I do have one question. What are your plans if you live to witness the baby's birth?" Ren said with a solemn expression.

This caught the Arc off guard. He had been so absorbed in coming up with a means of survival that he hadn't even thought that far. Looking back, it seemed incredibly selfish to the knight. "Geez, I...Never really thought that far...I guess I would try to be the best father I could. God, I'm such an idiot" Jaune said, slamming his head into his desk, causing the poor thing to fall apart, due to the abuse it took from Nora earlier that month.

"No, you're young. You'll come up with an answer on your own terms, for now, we need to get you packed and out of here"" Ren said, getting a bag out for the Knight.

After cramming as much belongs as he could into his pack with the help of the two, Jaune stood outside the new entry for his former dorm. "I can't thank you enough, Ren, Nora. You guys are the best teammates a guy could ask for."
"No need to thank us Jauney boy! Just stay alive!" Nora said with her usual smile.

"That is true. It would be quiet sad if our leader went out this way. I wish you luck on your travels." Ren said as he handed Jaune a thermos. "This contains a nutritional drink that should be able to supply your body with all the nutrients it may need."

Jaune opened up the thermos a sliver and instantly gagged at the smell. "Thanks Ren" Jaune said weakly as he tried to hold his lunch.

Quickly recovering, Jaune pulled from his bag a series of letters, and handed over to them. "Almost forgot, I wrote these for the whole crew to read, kinda as to explain the current situation, but more so as a last will and testament. I need you guys to make sure everybody gets theirs." Jaune explained as Nora flipped through them.

"Thank you Jaune. Now you really must be going on your way. Your airship out of Beacon will be leaving soon. "

And with that. the Arc departed from his teammates, hope filling him.

Maybe I might live after all.

I'm gonna die.

Jaune was currently upchucking the contents of his stomach. There where many things the Arc had improved on since entering Beacon, but unfortunately his air sickness served to be one of the few things that still plagued Jaune. Go figure, he would be the first one to experience nausea in this pregnancy. Letting out a humorless chuckle, the Arc picked himself up from the bathroom, and went back to his spot. The events from the day had drained the boy, and Jaune figured a nap would do him some good. Sleeping off his air sickness might work. The Arc closed his eyes, drifting into sleep.

"Hey Kid"

Jaune lurched up, looking around. The deck was dark, the night blanketing over. Jaune must have slept through a good portion of the trip, cause it was still day when he dozed off. Looking in front of him to see who called him, Jaune saw a tall willowy man, with gray hair and appeared to be drunk, as he was constantly wobbling, and seemed unable to stand still.

"Do you know who I am?" The dusty old man rasped out. Jaune had never seen this man before in his life, but decided to handle this gently. A drunken civilian was always a hard thing to deal with. "No sir, but could you please leave me be? I was kind of in the middle of-"

The Man cut Jaune off, hushing him. "No, nononono. Here maybe this will help." The man stood to his full height, a good half foot taller than Jaune. He than reached back to pull out a rather complex looking weapon, marking himself off as a hunter. The compact blade sprang at into a sword mode, the blade gleaming silver in the shattered moon light.

"You're a hunter?" Jaune asked, a bad feeling entering his stomach.

"Closer, but no cigar Kid. Here" The Hunter said, shifting his weapon, the blade breaking apart and beginning to arc into a...no...it couldn't...

A Scythe.

"I'm Ruby's Uncle" Qrow said as the blade reflected Jaune's terrified face.

AN: Welp, he's fucked. See if Jaune can pull off another miracle, or just turn into a drunken memory of Qrow's.

Omake: If Ruby didn't do the nasty with Jaune.

Bakers around Vale were left confused upon seeing their shops one morning. It appeared they had been robbed, but the contents of which was stolen left them off. Rather than steal money, dust, or even some of the other valubales in the stores, the thief only seemed to take the cookies, leaving behind red rose petals.

The bakers could only scratch their heads at this, but continued work as usual, producing more cookies to make up for the loss.

Yang looked for her sister, and stopped to see Ruby standing atop a pile of cookie crumbs, the small Girl's belly visibly distended from the sheer amount of cookies.

"RUBY! How many cookies did you eat!?"
Ruby let out a groan. "Eleven...teen..." and with that, the reaper fell into a massive food coma.