Your Mortal Minds Are Confounding
Guardian Moon
The Guildmaster was sympathetic when she negotiated with him -very accommodating to her requests. He had only kind words to say about Jeralt –everyone she came across told her of a drink they'd shared, training they'd taken part in, a battle they'd witnessed; she hoarded every mention of him like a treasure, added to the safe in her mind as she made her way once more to the Captain's quarters.
Like her, he hadn't been a person for material possessions. A couple of books, a well-used shaving kit in a leather roll, his familiar flask… aside from his journal and her mother's ring the only item of any significant value, sentimental or otherwise, was a silver compass, the case of which was inlaid with amber in the form of the sigil she had worn all her life.
She pulled a loose thread from one of his spare tunics, wrapped it round the hilt of her dagger and that was it; all of his effects collected, his presence cleaned from the room.
Her fingers trailed over the edge of the desk where they had sat together (such a short time ago really, but it felt like years) and gone over her first official contract as head of the company.
The ragged edge was in her throat today, threatening to choke her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath trying to force it back. Desperate for any distraction, even if her mind would not let her thoughts roam too far, she called out to Sothis.
"Why don't I remember?"
"Do you wish to?" Sothis asked with some incredulity, understanding what she was referencing immediately
"No," Byleth replied and in the space of one breath to the next found herself standing in front of the throne once more, the Goddess regarding her from her seat "but I… expected to. I know what happened, what I did, what I tried, and yet the memories are faded –I know I used that power in Remire as well but I don't recall what happened, only why. The same the first time –I know I took a fatal blow for Edelgard, or was about to, but I can't recall it."
Sothis sighed, bracing her elbow on the great stone armrest and leaning her cheek against that hand. "I may know how this power works but that does not mean I know how to explain it to a mortal. Let me see… if you were to cut your hand just now, then turn back time, would your hand be bleeding?"
"No?"
"Precisely, because it did not happen. You may tell yourself that it happened, but that would not cause your hand to bleed. Your memories are the same –when you go back you tell yourself what occurred… but it does not occur, so your body does not form the memory. Perhaps you might conjure a phantom pain, but that is all it is; an echo, a ripple of what might have been that grows smaller the further from the epicentre you go. The flow of time smooths over… and so you forget. Or rather, you remember only what did happen."
"But I did use that power, multiple times."
"No…" Sothis huffed "Let me put this another way; the future does not exist."
"That… doesn't help."
"Of course not, I have not explained it yet!" Sothis answered, dropping some softness in her manner in favour of the more usual chiding "It may be difficult for you to comprehend, but accept it for now; the future does not exist. All there is, is the present which is built upon the past." Byleth nodded slowly "When you return, the time that you were in becomes the future, and so vanishes. You cannot get back to it, save by exactly repeating those actions that led you there in the first place. Even to say "when you return" or "when you go back" is a misnomer; my power does not change the past, it changes the present. You used my power, multiple times, to enter into the present, destroying the future. You feel the beat of time as I do; there is only one rhythm, and it drowns out the beat of any other time that may have existed. If you were to focus and meditate perhaps you could recall the other times, but they would be jarring, discordant; the mind naturally shies from them."
"But I recall the conversation we had –when you stopped time."
"Time stopped is not the same as time undone, why would you forget that? It is a coda to the rest of time, it exists outside the melody, but part of it nevertheless. Really, I cannot make this any simpler for you."
Byleth was silent for a moment "You change the present by moving backwards… What… what would happen if I moved forwards?"
"I would stop you." Sothis answered, sitting up straight, eyes flashing. Suddenly she blinked, her expression was confused "I… why would I…?" She frowned heavily, eyes unfocused as she thought, sounding out her conclusions slowly but with gathering surety; "At best… it would not work. The flow of time is where, or when, it is and you cannot advance beyond it. At worst… you would come to see the shape of eternity, which would likely drive you mad, or you might step outside of time altogether into an empty, formless void. Neither prospect is particularly appealing."
"No…" Byleth agreed, and then despite her efforts at distracting herself, felt tears building in her eyes once more "If the future does not exist, why couldn't I change it?"
Sothis's expression softened once again "Oh Child… If turning back the hands of time was not enough, if all your efforts could not save your father, then you must learn to accept it as fate; you are not to blame, you did not fail him. You gave everything."
~o~*~o~
She had hardly closed the door behind her before Hubert rounded the corner. His eyes darted in each direction as he approached her, confirming they were alone.
"The Sealed Forest." He hissed lowly "The Church is scrambling to put a force together –they did not expect to find them so soon or so close, the majority of the Knights are searching further afield."
Byleth nodded her understanding, mind recalling the geography of the area –she had learned much in the library of late. "I thank you. Will you come with us?"
"If I can arrange it," he agreed "I do intend to see you get your shot."
She nodded once more and passed him as she made her way towards the stairs. The Entrance Hall was in confusion when she arrived, the Archbishop herself, attended by Seteth, was overseeing the arrangement of guards to remain and forces to sortie out to rescue the Cardinal.
"Byleth!" Rhea called and it was apparent she was disconcerted to see her there "I will require your troop to man the walls, there is-"
"Apologies, Lady Rhea, but that will not be possible." Byleth interrupted and the commotion around them stilled. Rhea's eyes narrowed but it was Seteth who spoke next
"Miss Eisner, we will make allowances for grief, but your employment here-"
"Ended." Byleth interrupted again. "One hour and seven minutes ago. I have spoken with the Guildmaster, collected my Father's effects and my troop have cleared the barracks and are awaiting me in town. Jeralt's Mercenaries are a free company once more and we have business in the forest to attend."
"Please, Byleth. Do not act carelessly." Rhea insisted "I ask that you leave this to us. Losing you so soon after losing Jeralt would be unbearable."
Byleth turned to face the Archbishop, her expression impassive. She sent a thought to Sothis and after a moment, received her assent to continue, carefully, in a low voice; "Thank you for the sentiment, but it is not the end of Eisner's line you fear, is it?" Rhea's eyes widened and scanned across Byleth's face with a strange light rising in them –hope perhaps "No, I thought not." The mercenary concluded and turned to continue towards the gate, her voice raising once more as she passed "You can't stop me. I advise you not to try. But in thanks for your hospitality I shall do what I can about returning your Cardinal to you."
"Rhea?" Seteth asked once Byleth had gone, concerned by her pale complexion and the unknown connotations of the mercenary's words "Are you well?"
Rhea startled and turned to him, eyes bright and expression fierce "We have not a moment to lose. Which house is best prepared to sortie immediately?"
~o~*~o~
Destroy the enemy in the sealed forest and rescue the Cardinal. That was simple enough, he supposed. Good, clear objectives.
Return Byleth Eisner to the Monastery, whether she willed it or no –that was…
There were several things wrong with that order.
Firstly, he hadn't even known Byleth had left; although it was easy enough to guess why. She was hunting Kronya and, to be honest, that had been pretty high up on Claude's list of what he'd expected her to do when given the chance, but he hadn't thought she'd leave to do it. Secondly, returned against her will, if needs be? If she had left then, yes, it was a loss to the Church, but what could possibly be so important about one mercenary that it would make them want her back badly enough as to resort to capture, if she wouldn't come of her own volition? Thirdly, why didn't Seteth know the answer to that? He'd seen the shocked look the advisor had sent Rhea as she gave that command; he hadn't seen it coming. Fourthly, what did Professor Manuela know? It hadn't been shock that crossed her face, but a sort of grim, defiant, acknowledgement. She clearly didn't like the order, but… (Fifthly, why couldn't he accept that Byleth leaving Garreg Mach was okay? He'd be leaving in a couple of moons. It was fine. They were going to have parted at some point, even if he convinced her to come work for him. It was just a crush. He'd get over it)
Lastly, how and why had Hubert attached himself to the mission?
Apart from the 'potentially capture-your-ally-by-force' thing, that might be the most worrisome part of the situation. Hubert was rarely separated from Edelgard longer than a couple of hours, if this was worth so much of his time and attention… Something was up, Claude had no idea what it was and he did not like it.
He didn't even have time to think it through as they raced down to the forest by a path Seteth had mapped out for them for speed. The moment they arrived he was confronted by the sight of four Demonic Beasts and a whole host of enemies. Kronya stood prominently, commanding the central space of a large stone arena towards the back of the grove they were occupying, and above her on a higher terrace over a complex set of seals, Solon was performing some ritual on the Cardinal who hung suspended from nothing in mid-air.
Two of the Beasts flanked the edges of the rise where he could just make out stairs –guard dogs, he could ignore those for now- but one filled the path before them, the other lingered to the west, blocking the other route but also prepared to spring forth and push them into a pincer.
Press forward and deliberately draw the other beast into attacking them, or split their forces, a group to each side? Were those stones on the Demonic Beasts' heads? What was Solon doing? How long did they have until he finished? How far ahead of Byleth were they? What was up with-
Oh...
Shit.
Leonie.
~o~*~o~
Hubert could admit to some admiration for Claude. For his mind at least, if not his manner. He had been playing his own game at the Battle of the Eagle and Lion and had played it well at that. Now, thrown in to a field he could not have predicted or prepared for, Hubert could see the moment that mind of his sharpened in, narrowing down to perhaps five paths to victory, in place of the whirling vortex of possibilities.
Hubert was no tactical slouch himself; he saw the reasons for sending 'Jeralt's Greatest Apprentice' and the rest of their cavalry to the west instead of allowing her to careen down the northward pass. Let her burn some of that fire out on the long route, let cooler heads prevail. He also saw why he was kept to the back, nearby the young Lord. He didn't expect to be trusted, and it happened to suit him. If by chance they survived this encounter, then the less Kronya and Solon (especially Solon) saw of him the better.
It also put him in position to see the moment Jeralt's Mercenaries arrived in the west, coming through the forest almost at level with the stone platform. Byleth Eisner was not recognisable as the wrecked figure he'd bargained with. Instead he was faced one more with the formidable mask he'd first encountered several moons ago. Her eyes roved the field, marking positions, assigning weights and values, assessing probabilities and outcomes at a glance.
Then she made her move.
He had not doubted. Lady Edelgard had declared her exceptional and so she must be. He had seen something of it himself at the Chapel and in various activities around the Monastery.
But now, as she issued orders to her troop and strode forward, a commander and not the commanded, now he understood.
~o~*~o~
Byleth had always had feelings. Preferences. Tastes. Emotions. However, her unbeating heart had tethered down the flights of her joy and happiness, her rage and despair. Her emotions did not buffet her about. Her pulse may quicken with activity, but it did not race.
And yet, since that moment in the graveyard, when her Father had held her and wished that she might one day find love as he had (Or, earlier? When the men had cheered for her when they were done with the cold of Gautier? Or earlier still, when Sothis had first awoken?) her reactions had changed. She smiled when happy, laughed and discovered what joy was, frowned as her consternation with a puzzle grew, cried when despair overwhelmed her…
…and then receded.
In its wake was anger.
Her heart was still unbeating, calm. Byleth's anger did not boil over into the tunnel-vision berserker rage her Father had fallen into down in the passages of Garreg Mach. It did not freeze her into numb cruelty as likely to hurt herself as those around her. It simmered at the back of mind, just underneath her thoughts.
And then she saw Kronya and that simmering anger crystallised into straight, sharp edges, ready to cut through the morass, unhesitant.
Anger did not bring Byleth to unthinking rage or cruelty.
It brought her focus and determination.
The woman who stepped out onto the field was more the Ashen Demon than she had ever been. The battlefield was a board before her.
And she was its master.