Chapter 14: I can't decide….If you should live or should die
Disclaimer: I have many things. A boomstick. A manly facial scar. Today, I will face my foe, and I will gain the rights to RWBY!
6 seconds later
They dropped a bullhead on me. HOW THE HELL DID RT DO THAT! I don't own the rights to RWBY.
AN: *Brakes into a random happy dance* WHOOO HOOO! 9 Months to Live has just became the most favorited Lancaster fic, making me the unofficial leader of Team LANC (Lone=L, make this a legit team, Lancaster writers.) For some reason, you people decided that my writing isn't complete and utter crap, and now look! Number one of the Lancaster baby! *Walks up to the invisible podium* I'll make my speech brief.
*Takes a deep breath*
Hail Schnydra
Wait… you mean its not? Forged Destiny beat us? But it only only has four chapte-oh the writer of Professor Arc wrote it. Well, only one thing to do now.
*Rips off usual NCR ranger armor to reveal green jumpsuit* YOU ARE NOW MY ETERNAL RIVAL
YOUUUUUTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
*Jumps out window*
But in all seriousness, thank you very much. I'm happy to say this fic was (at one point) the lead fic of the Lancaster fleet of shipping, but hey, I had my run, and by god am I happy with it.
On a separate note, HOLY CRAP Volume 4! The designs, the Grimm, and the disappointment of not seeing if JN(insert x'd out P)R got new designs. Looks like not much has changed though. Yang's still in her Yangsty phase, Weiss is now literally Elsa *eye twitch* and Blake is now has successfully become the anti hero, trench coat and all. But no. All the hype.
Now onto questions
One person asked why Mercury was out of work. Well for starters, working with Cinder was in the longshot, a gamble. He was all in, or all out. And since Cinder fell (heh) Mercury's reputation as an assassin hit the drain, and so did the need of an assassin. With the Fall of Cinder (heh heh) the crime would be halted to a near stand still. The best he could do over the next 3 years was get low class jobs as a simple thug. None of the high paying assassinations.
"-Ruby Ro-"
Not even letting Glynda finnish, Ruby used her semblance to grab her diploma, then made a beeline straight to the headmaster's office. After her father and Mrs. Arc's… outburst, Jaune jumped out cafeteria and ran as fast as he could; her dad and his mom hot in pursuit. It was at that point Glynda snapped, threatening any student or adult who got out of line until after graduation ended. Therefore as soon as she got her diploma, she made sure to find the few people who could talk some sense to her father.
Entering the Office, she did not expect to see both Uncle Qrow and Ozpin looking at her with the same calm smile.
"Uncle Qrow, Headmaster Ozpin, I need your help! Dad found Jaune at graduation and kinda told Jaune's mom by mistake-who we were totally gonna tell after graduation- and now he's being chased by dad and I really don't want dad or his mom to kill him! So please-please-please help him!"
Ozpin took a sip of his coffee "I'm sorry Ms Rose, but as you are no longer my student. I can no longer interfere in your lives."
"And Tai will just punch me in the face for being drunk as usual."
"Are you drunk?"
"Is the moon shattered?"
"Fair point."
Qrow paused for a sec, then looked to his niece with a gleam in his eye that worried her. "Hey Ruby, I got an idea…" He said, standing up off Ozpin's desk "We can't interfere, can we?"
"Indeed" Ozpin said "After him, the council banned any involvement a headmaster has in a hunter's life once they graduate."
"Well, would a former teacher and family member offering a suggestion count as involvement, Ozzy?" Qrow said with a smirk plastered on his face.
The grey haired headmaster allowed himself a small smile "I do not believe so Qrow"
"Well than, little niece oh mine, here's what I suggest you two do" Qrow said, leaning towards Ruby and whispering something into her ear.
"What?" Ruby said her eyes in shock "I would never do that! That's so mean!"
"It's called a bluff, sweetheart. Try it sometimes. Preferably soon before Glynda has to clean your boyfriend's blood off the front yard."
"He's not m-" Ruby started but then stopped. What were Jaune and her? And what did happen that night? The two were always gonna be best of friends, but the party and the dance really changed things. She really needed to bring this up to Jaune...oh wait...Jaune...who was currently running for his life from his mom and her dad.
"ThankYouGottaGoNowBYE!" Ruby said before rocketing out of the room at full speed, leaving behind the usual trail of rose petals. The two adults stood in the room quite.
Ozpin finally spoke "So, when are you going to reveal your current relationship with your family?"
Qrow burst into laughter "HA! You honestly think I'm dumb enough to let Tai in on any relationship I'm in?" The man is Mr Steal-yo-girl incarnate."
Running. Why does it always have to be running?
Jaune Arc was seriously beginning to think he was cursed.
Dodging the occasional gunshot, park benches flying at high velocity, and of course, the frying pan.
Why did these things happen to him?
By now, Taiyang Xaio Long and his mother were trying to kill him. Okay, maybe putting off telling his mother about him and Ruby was a bad idea. Okay, scratch that, it was possible the 2nd dumbest thing he ever done. Number one would always go to giving Nora that special sugary syrup for Burniemas.
Worst.
Idea.
Ever.
Seriously not kidding, JNPR's dorm walls were about 90% spackle because of the energetic ginger. However, his thoughts were cut short as a fist hit his gut hard followed by the cold sting of iron making contact with his face that could only be the feared frying pan of horror.
The poor knight went sailing across the front lawn until hitting the statue in the front of Beacon, leaving a Jaune shaped dent in it. Glynda was gonna kill him for that...oh wait, he was already dead.
The blonde looked in front of him to see the two veteran hunters close in on him, looking at him with a face that could easily make a grimm wet itself, coming in for the kill.
"Any last words, you daughter defiling bastard?" Taiyang said, cracking his fists, Jaune visibly cringing at each crack, knowing from his eldest child that a Xaio Long fists knocked on death's door for you.
"Uhmmm….Well…"
However, his mother quickly cut the knight off. "Jaune" She said it in a simple tone, but Jaune knew this meant hell. His mom was never one to get angry, but when she snapped, she would first have an outburst of pure rage, then what followed was a catalyst of pain and calculated suffering.
Taiyang pulled back a punch, golden flames forming around it in the shape of a lion. Jaune closed his eyes. This was it. RIP. To his two unborn children, he wished them good luck and that they knew that he loved them dearly; to Ruby, regret for never getting the opportunity to tell her how much she meant to him. Jaune braced himself for the end.
Huh. The end smelled like rose petals. Now that Jaune thought about it, Mr. Xaio Long would have hit him by now. Cracking one eye open, he was shocked to see Ruby standing in front of him, with the rest of RWBY and JNPR holding his mom and Tai back.
"STOP!" Ruby cried out
Tai looked at his daughter "Move out of the way Ruby. Daddy is busy…"
"Dad...listen" Ruby all but pegged, giving her father her cutest puppy pout.
It took the veteran hunter all he had to not look Ruby in the eye and succumb, but justice had to be done. Nobody, and he meant nobody, messed with his youngest daughter. Not after Summer…"Ruby, leave here now, and call off your friends. You too Yang" Tai said, his eyes full of conviction.
Yang rolled her eyes to this and gave her old man a quick jab to the ribs "Dad, you're being an overprotective asshole. Trust me, I would know"
"GOD DAMN IT YANG"
Team JNPR was having just as much trouble. For all the strength Nora had, she was visibly having trouble holding Mrs. Arc in the lock she had her in and that was with Pyrrha helping her with the broken bits of the statue bent to help restrain the raging mother. All the while Ren was trying to offer the mother some herbal tea to help calm her and bring order back to the present.
Ruby took a deep breath "Alright. Fine go ahead. Beat and/or kill Jaune" She said.
At this Jaune, Tai, and Soliel looked at Ruby with shock "What?"
Jaune shook and fear "What are you doing Ruby?"
Ruby looked at him "Trust me just roll with it." She said to the knight before turning to the raging parents "As I was saying...Go ahead. Do what you will. But just know how this all happened. We were both dragged to a senior party by a decidedly unnamed individual-"
Tai squinted his eyes "It was Yang wasn't it?"
"I cannot answer that question. As I was saying, we went to this party, both Jaune and I, and we had a good time...we think. Ya see, turns out that someone, who shall be unnamed-"
"Yang again"
"Oh come on, you have no proof it was me!" Yang proclaimed, but was shushed by her sister.
"-had alcoholic beverages. Due to this we ended up getting really drunk, which is why we don't have much memory of what happened that night, and stuff happened and we ended up doing it"
A moment of silence fell over the group. The tension in the area was at an all time high. It was all silent. Nobody knew what was gonna happen-
"Guess you could say they were drunk on love!" Yang said, grinning like an idiot as everyone groaned and slammed their head.
"God damn it Yang" Tai said weakly, dropping Jaune by the collar, before beginning to weakly laugh. Mrs. Arc herself actually let herself indulge in a small chuckle, and before they knew it, everyone was weakly laughing.
Finally calming down, Mrs. Arc embraced her son. Not in a death hug, but instead a kind motherly embrace that managed to relieve Jaune of all the stress from his years at Beacon, and the pressure he felt. His need to be a hero, the whole Cardin blackmail fesico, running to Vaccuo in order to hide from Yang's wrath, and now this...
His mother finally stepping back, she looked her son in the eye. "Jaune…"
And then immediately whacked him upside the head with a frying pan.
"OWWWWWWW"
Cracking her knuckles, Soleil looked at Jaune with a serious look "That was trying to hide this from your family Jaune. If you just would have explained to us straight from the start, none of this would have happened." She lectured him while Jaune rubbed the already present bump on his head.
"Yes Mom...ow" Jaune
"Good." She said and then turned to Ruby. "Well, Ruby, I'm more than willing to help with the child, having raised 8 myself, numbskull included."
Ruby shrugged "nah, I think me and Jaune can handle 2-" She said not realizing the slip.
Everyone looked at her as Jaune face palmed. "Wait, 2?" The whole courtyard seemed shocked at the statement.
Ruby blushed and looked to her feet "Yeah...Surprise...I guess…"
Yang brought her and Jaune into a massive bear hug "Oh, Congrats you two! I'm gonna be an Aunt of two little socially doomed kids!"
"Hey! We aren't that awkward" Jaune said
"Yeah you are"
"Yeah, we are"
Soleil grabbed the group hug into her own embrace "I'M GONNA BE A GRANDMOTHER OF THE MOST ADORABLE KIDS EVER!"
Tai stood to the side. He would not. Someone had to be a man here-
"Come on Silly get in there" A energetic voice said behind him. The next thing he knew, he was picked up and thrown into the group hug like a chunk of meat to a pack of wolves.
'Maybe' thought Tai 'I could let this whole grandfather thing grow on me'
Mercury followed the mysterious hooded jackass as best as he could. Paranoid bastard gave him the shortest fucking leash, literally having him wrap a strip of cloth around his eyes so he couldn't give away the location to anyone. Though, to be fair, letting the guy you just poisoned run around wasn't the brightest of ideas.
"You can take it off now, Mr. Black." The man said, his voice echoing.
Taking off the strip of cloth, Mercury looked around. They were in some sort of warehouse or bunker. Tall ceilings, concrete floors, and enough crates to be a storage facility..or in this case, a weapon stockpile. Soldiers were everywhere, either practicing their shooting, running drills, or running a tight lookout. With all his years of assassin training, Mercury knew that those soldiers were highly trained and each would have equalled 3 regular men in combat. They weren't quite hunter level, but with the sheer numbers it would pose a major threat.
"So, you kidnap-no sorry,'Recruit' me into your little boy scout troop, Wow aren't you Boss of the year" Mercury said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Honestly, he didn't care anymore about getting in this guy's good graces. Being poisoned would do that. "So what's this big thing you need me to do!"
"One, I am your commanding officer. You will address me as either Captain or Sir. Show some discipline. I will not have this kind of behavior in this operation. Two, you will be breaking into a prison in Atlas to retrieve a valuable asset. This is a Covert Ops mission, and as such, any detection is unacceptable. You will be supplied a small drop ship that will fly over the prison, and will be able to pick you and your partner up two miles south of the prison as it will be hidden behind the mountains." The Captain addressed Mercury as he pulled out a scroll, showcasing the layout of the prison.
"Whoa whoa whoa, Partner?" Mercury fumed "I don't do partners"
"Until now you didn't. I think you'll find this one familiar. Ms. Sustrai, come in"
On cue, the familiar green haired thief walked into the room, dressed in a black and camo green stealth outfit.
"Hello Mercury" Emerald said, looking the assassin dead in the eye
Mercury just stood there looking at her for a solid minute, silence filling the room with an awkward tension. Finally, it was broken.
"YOU ASSHOLE!" Mercury yelled, jumping at Emerald and tackling her to the ground. However, after beating the thief for a good minute, However something seemed off…
"Told you he was an edgy asshole"
Turning around, Mercury saw Emerald walking into the room and standing next to Captain. Looking down, he saw that he was beating a mere foot soldier. Damn these illusions.
"You done with your little outburst?" The Captain said, his tone dry and impatient
Mercury rolled his eyes, and gave the poor soldier one last good kick "Fine...but what's she doing here"
"I'm here because this guy thinks its a good idea to pair you and I up for this mission. Afterall we worked sooo well together before" Emerald deadpanned.
The Captain seemed unfazed by the skepticism " Both you and Ms. Sustrai have shown that when you two do work together, there is little the work between an assassin and a thief can't accomplish. Which is why I have both of you working on this vital mission. Now ready yourselfs if needed, and be back here within an hour. Oh, and failure is not an option." And with the, the man walked out of the room
"Who shoved a pole up his ass?" Mercury commented
"Just shut up and get ready, you'd better not mess this up for us."
Omake: RWBY and the quest for the holy grail
Ruby sat at the RWBY cafeteria table, bored, and picking her nose with little interest. It was a slow day…
"Stop picking your nose you dolt" Weiss said slapping Ruby's hand away from her nose before going back to her sandwich.
"It's just so boring right now! There is nothing to do; classes are out because it is the weekend, Yang and Blake are out shopping in Vale, and Team JPNR is out on a mission" Ruby complained "I just wish something interesting would happen"
"Attention Students, would Miss Rose please report to Ozpin's office. I repeat Ms. Rose please report to Ozpin's office." a voice said over the comms system
Weiss turned to glare at Ruby, but before she could get a word out Ruby shouted "Before you say anything I just want you to know that I didn't do anything wrong and I have no idea why I am being called up to Ozpin's office."
"Yeah yeah I believe you. Just go, it is best not to keep Ozpin waiting for long." Weiss replied after sighing
"Thanks Weiss! I'll try to be back soon!" Ruby said before she ran off to see what she was called to Ozpin's office for.
Reaching the elevator to Ozpin's office Ruby pushed the button then started tapping her foot impatiently as she waited for the elevator to arrive. Every minute here was another minute out of her cookie time. Eventually the elevator arrives and Ruby zips in and pushes the button for Ozpin's office. She rides the elevator up and when the doors open into Ozpin's office she steps out. The first thing she notices upon doing so is that Ozpin is looking out the window with his back to her and that Professor Oobleck was sitting in one of the chairs in front of Ozpin's desk.
"You wanted to see me Professor Ozpin?" She asked while walking up to his desk
"Ah yes Ms. Rose thank you for coming here so quickly. Please take a seat. I called you here because I have a mission for you and your team. One that was requested by Doctor Oobleck here." Ozpin said as he turned around to face Ruby and Oobleck.
"Yes Girls!" Rambled out the green haired doctor as he blurred across the room, setting up a large maps and charts "My calculations have have led me to believe that by calculating the exact time period and location from the bible of Oum, I have discovered the resting spot of the Holy Grail of Oum himself! I find this shocking discover...SHOCKING!"
Ruby merely looked in confusion "Whaaaa?"
Ozpin raised his glasses "Ms. Rose, the Holy Grail is an artifact so potent, that it is said to make the most perfect coffee."
Oobleck joined in "Indeed! Just the right amount of sugar, cream, and caffeinated goodness! It is said that one sip can restore a man from any injury or loss of sleep!"
"Yes, it is truly an artifact needed Ms. Rose. For us...and the rest of Remnants of course" Ozpin dismissed "But we need you to get a team together to find this legendary relic."
And so, Huntress Ruby went to form her hunters of the long lunch table, Including Sir Yang of the Sun...or was it pun? The weiss cold warrior that is Huntress Weiss, The Black Panther Huntress Blake, the Amazon Champion, Huntress Pyrrha, The Lady (QUEEN!) Nora of pancakes, and her hunter Ren of the Sloths (Really Nora?) and the brave Hunter Jaune, who heroically ran away and the battle of Atlas, who bravely nearly wet himself on the fields of terror, and courageously screamed like a little girl in the flight of the Emerald Forest.
"Ruby, why are we using coconuts instead of horse?" Jaune asked the reaper as they 'galloped' through the forest, leading their two teams.
"That's because Ozpin didn't give me enough lien to get horses...That, and I spent most of it on cookies. WORTH IT!" Ruby replied as she chomped into a large cookie that she pulled from her large back, which the knight swore he saw shake and bark. Oh well.
"Ah ok then, Ozpin always was a cheap bastard." Jaune replied understandingly "So, where exactly are we heading?
"We...are heading…." Ruby paused for effect "TO A BOXED OFF CANYON!"
Weiss looked up from the back "What? We are not going to a boxed off canyon! Why would something as important as the Holy Grail be stuck in it! It doesn't even hold any strategic advantage!
"Well the map says so! Right here!" Ruby said, pointing to the spot on the ancient piece of parchment. "Blood Gulch Outpost Number 1 in the Valhalla forest."
"Why does that sound familiar?"
"CHURCH! CHURCH! LOOK, I FOUND THIS COOL LOOKING SIPPY CUP IN THE WOODS!" Caboose yelled across the forest, waving an ancient looking mug around.
Church on the other hand, was tired, exhausted, pissed as hell, and as usual, debating whether to leave Caboose to the grimm. "For the last time Caboose…. GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!"
"Okay best friend!"
"YOU'RE NOT MY BEST FRIEND!" Church yelled before storming off.
Caboose stood in the forest, holding the old cup. "Oh well" He said, tossing the thing off the cliff, the cup falling into a river, and begin to chase after a butterfly that caught his eye. So the blue hunter pursued the poor insect, until bumping into a group of people banging coconuts together while pretending to gallop.
The one in the front, a young woman with short black hair with red highlights, looked at a piece of paper, while a tall scrawny blonde man argued with her
"Ruby, we're in the middle of nowhere!"
"But I followed the map exactly as it is!"
A white haired girl spoke up from the back of the line "You probably read it wrong you dolt!"
"Hey!"
"Hello!" Caboose said, the entire group turning to him, finally noticing him.
"Um...Hello?" The girl in the front said hesitantly
"Can you tell us where we are? It's very important hunter bussines" Said the tall blonde.
"OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS ARE HAMSTERS!? I'm training to be one!" Caboose said, his face filled with joy
"What" The pale one in the back deadpanned.
"Look, My name is Ruby Rose, and this is Jaune Arc" Ruby said, gesturing towards said blonde "And we're looking for the Blood Gulch Canyon in Valhalla Forest. Can you test where we are?"
"Okay! You're here!"
"Nonono, what is here?"
"Where we are!"
The white haired girl walked in front of Ruby "Let me take care of this, as a Schnee, I've dealt with dolts before."She then turned to Caboose "My name is Weiss Schnee, heiress to the Schnee Dust Co. As such, I demand you tell us or exact location and the name of this forest!"
"Okay mean ice lady!" Caboose said with the same optimistic tone
"HEY!"
"You're in Flood Gulp Crayon in the Vale hall forest!"
Weiss stood there, her face in frozen. Ruby waved her hand in front of her, but got no reaction.
"Weiss? Weiss?" She said, shaking the Schnee
Finally, the ice queen snapped out of it. "Sorry. just ...too much...stupidity"
"Thank you. Now, have you happen to seen a cup that looks like this?" Jaune asked, pulling out a peice of parchment that had a near identical picture of the mug Caboose had found earlier.
"Yup! I threw it off a cliff though since it was boring."
"."
"."
"."
"WHAT"
AN: Silly, me almost forogt, Want more of my Red vs Blue shenanigans from the world of RWBY? Then check out my side story Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, a story dedicated directly to the idiots and assholes we know and love
*Cinema sin ding: Obvious advertising is obvious*
OH COME ON!