9 Months to Live

Chapter 19-ish: Never Gonna Give You Up.

Disclaimer:*Bursts into the room containing the rights to RWBY* SOME BODY ONCE-
I don't own RWBY... at least not till my evil scheme comes into play

AN: *Straight face* I solemnly swear I am up to no good.

Mwa.
Ha.
Ha.

Cinder stood above the fallen form of the so called champion. The girl, Pyrrha, had fought well, but nothing could stop the absolute power of a maiden's, not even the headmaster as even he fell to her might...at least she think she he did. It was kinda dark in the basement. But that was not the matter. She had brought Beacon's last defender down to her knees.

"Tell me," She said slowly to the injured girl "Do you believe in destiny?"
"Nah, I don't really believe Steffany, as I do not know her."

Both Cinder and Pyrrha turned to see a rather...interesting man-child wearing solid blue, with a dumb blank smile plastered on his face.

"And who," Cinder asked, preparing to strike at any moment at this newcomer "Might you be?"

"My name is Michael J. Caboose, Mean Fire Lady." He said happily, seemingly completely unaware of the current situation or the burning hellscape behind them. Cinder looked at the idiot in anger "mean fire lady...DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? WHAT I'VE DONE? WHAT POWER I POSSE-".

"Hey, Magnetic Lady, are you okay?" Caboose casually asked Pyrrha, who had been slowly limping to get a back shot on Cinder, who noticed noticed her thanks to Caboose.

Pyrrha gritted her teeth "Just...fine." She said, trying to look unsuspecting in front of the terrorist

"Okay!" He said, completely oblivious to the arrow sticking out of her ankle. "But if you were hurt, I know what might help! When I got shot in the toe one time, the nice weird purple man rubbed aloe vera on my back and I felt better."

Pyrrha sweated nervously, fear of her ankle rising "What happened to the toe?"

"Oh, it's gone." Caboose smiled as Pyrrha paled, her leg in mind "Rest in peace, big toe."

Cinder coughed awkwardly "Well, this is nice and all, but we were kinda in the middle of something"

"Oh boy, could I join?!" Caboose cheerfully said.

Pyrrha shook her head frantically "No! You don't want to do that-"

Cinder gave an evil smile. "Yes, I would be delighted to have you join us…"

Salem stood on the balcony of her doom fortress. She'd been debating whether or not getting chandelier made of human orphan skulls would be a bit much for the meeting room. On one hand, the chandelier would really bring the room together, and go great with the freshly orphaned baby faunus hair curtains, but then again, the whole darkness thing was a good aspect of the room, and quite frankly she enjoyed never having to see Tyrian's rape face. But the darkness did make reading Watt's reports very hard. Ah, the difficult decisions of an evil...whatever title she felt like hellbent on conquering the world.

"My Queen…"

"Ah, Cinder. How nice to hear your voice!" Salem said turning to see her youngest servant. "Tell me, did you succeed at Beacon?"

Cinder's eye visibly twitched. "The Invasion, for the most part, went fine-"

"Excellent! Now do you have the maiden's power?"

"Yes, but-"
"But what?" Salem snapped at her

"Butts are for sitting. That's what they're for!"

Salem blinked then looked to see a stranger in blue hunter armor standing near a fallen one of her orb grimm.

"Not my fault. Tucker did it." Caboose said.

Cinder looked about ready to kill someone… more so than usual "This….imbecile has been following me in since Beacon, insisting that he's my best friend. I've tried everything! I've tried killing him, tried shipping him to Atlas, even leaving him with someone else! HE JUST KEEPS FINDING ME!"

Salem looked skeptic "It can't be that bad, Cinder. Surely this is just your incompetence."

24 hours later.

Taiyang was having a good day. His kids where safe from the attack on Beacon, the day was saved, and best of all, he felt no longer 2 dimensional for some reason. Now, he was back to teaching the kids to one day go to Beacon, were they would become hunters.

Knock Knock

"Wonder what that could be?" Tai thought to himself as he went to open the door to his office.

There, sitting at his front door, was a male covered in blue armor, tied up with a letter that said Do not return to Cinder (AN: Whahahaha)

"What the-"

"CHURCH! MY BEST FRIEND!"

"Goodbye, my beloved." Adam smirked at Blake's fallen form, ready to give her a reminder of what fear is.

"Oooh, gonna stab your sword right into her, Bow Chicka Bow Wow!"

"YOU MONS-hey that's actually pretty good!"

Blake looked up to see a young hunter in training from Signal wearing aquamarine clothing standing in the corner of the ruins, Yang on the opposite side. They couldn't be here, did they not know what Adam was capable of?

"Nice sword" Tucker commented to the terrorist "But I bet mine is bigger" he said, flicking out a strange device as a glowing sword lit up the room.

Adam growled. This...fool, was mocking him! He would not stand for this! He-

Just got his sword cut in half. By the fucking pervert.

"Don't worry, poor performance happens to everyone from time to time!" Tucker said

Yang was laughing up a storm. This was priceless.

Adam went for a punch at Yang but the ceiling collapsed upon him, revealing Sun upon the roof "Here I am to save the day!" He cried out, his weapons at the ready, but looked to see Yang laughing nonstop, a guy in aquamarine, and Blake on the ground with the expression of WTF.

"What? Did I miss something? Come on guys, give me a hand here!"

Lopez was pissed. He had went to see the tournament in hopes that maybe he could find someone to talk to, but nooooo. That red headed chick with magnetic powers had to go overboard, and now here he was, stuck as just a head...again. They considered putting the girl against Penny, but General Ironwood of Atlas claimed she had…. Medical issues. So sure enough,his creator, the gym coach from Beacon, put him in as her replacement.

Sure enough, the blasted magnet girl won. Gee, let's send the robot made of metal to fight someone who's special power is to control metal! Who was running this tournament?

Ozpin took a long sip of his coffee. Truth be told, he kinda slipped off during his fight with Cinder for a coffee break. He was sure everyone was fine. It was not like Ms Nikos would try to fight single handedly someone who absorbed a maiden's power and held her own against a headmaster. He had Glynda teach common sense to his students…. At least he thought he ordered her to. For the most part.

The Headmaster let out a sigh. At least he didn't die. Now if only he could find his cane…

AN: Yeah, in case you didn't guess, APRIL FOOLS! The real chapter will be here sometime within the next two weeks. Sorry about the extra wait, as my laptop had recently broke during travels.