9 Months to Live
Chapter 21: Layla
Disclaimer: Long ago, in a distant land, I, Lone, the pun-making master of darkness, unleashed an unspeakable evil to the RWBY community! But the foolish creators, wielding the rights to RWBY, stepped forth to oppose me. Before the final blow was cast, I tore open a disclaimer in space time, flinging them into the future where my dankness is law.
Don't own the rights to RWBY.
AN: Well, shit. It appears I've done goofed. It appears I did too much plot. Reviews have been mixed on the actual story, and some people just straight out stopped reading due to the recent developments. Did I go too dark? Maybe. Probably. A little. I mean, I still had humor in it...buried under a pile of angst and shit. But this Arc (heh) will go on! I'll just try to find that sweet spot of plot and humor. But dat sauce tho. Now as for Ironwood, he was, as many guessed, always the Captain. Another thing pointed out is that I've been ignoring Ruby's pregnancy. Now, I admit fully that in the earlier chapters I had them largely focus on Jaune, as my crackish humor demanded. I've made a conscious effort to make this more towards the actual pregnancy, and I will try to bring it more to attention (despite the fact that the children are at risk of being used for EVIL or something.)
Now one last thing. *pulls out party horn* WE'VE REACHED OVER 1000 FAVS! Celebration time, come on!
Now, *looks around* Where's the goddamn window?
Meep: Can't break the window if there's no window to break
Lone: *Revs chainsaw hand, then cuts a hole in the wall then jumps out of it* Gotta find that FUCKING szechuan sauce!
Meep: But...but… I... HOW?!
"I SWEAR TO GOD I KNOW NOTHING!"
Qrow looked reluctantly as he held Roman the over the stage by his ankle as Tai and Yang took turns practicing their right hooks on the suspended mobster.
"You know." The avian named huntsman said "You keep saying that, but for some reason I ain't quite buying your bullshit. Now you see, I thought by now,my lighter haired friends would have beaten said bullshit out of you, but for some reason I would normally find impressive, I haven't heard a goddamn thing from your mouth about my niece yet. Maybe next I'll let the Arc work some on his aim? Maybe have Kitty cat over here string you up and use you as the ball for a game of father daughter tether ball between my niece and old teammate. Ooh, or maybe we let Tai hold your ankle so me, him and Ice Queen Jr. can practice some swordplay on you? Oh, and I should mention Tai's grip won't nearly be as gentle as mine." Qrow said, applying more pressure to Torchwick's ankle.
Roman paled. These bastards broke into his own base! He was just minding his own business (not really) hadn't done anything worth pissing off the hunter goody two shoe squad, hell, he thought he cracked a deal with them for intel on the douchebag in charge! "Look, I told you brutes that I know nothing about the whole scheme to kidnap little red! I mean, last thing I'd want is to get myself in your shithole by kidnapping boxtop's girlfriend! So would you so kindly put me THE FUCK DOWN!"
Jaune looked at the captive criminal. While there was a part of him that did take satisfaction in the thug's pain, it was clear he had no idea where Ruby was, much less even knew she was kidnapped. So either Roman was a better actor than they gave him credit for or he really didn't know where she was.
However, there could still be use.
"Let him down" Jaune said.
Qrow shrugged, then released his grip off Roman, the crook falling to the ground with a thud.
"Ow, fucking pricks…" He cursed, rubbing the forming bruise on his ankle.
"Language." Weiss chastised.
Qrow looked at her like she grew a third head. "We're in the middle of interrogating this sleazeball and you criticize him, out of all things, his language?"
Weiss looked at the drunk with the patented Schnee glare, not amused in the least. "Don't you have to watch over this miscreant?"
"Dear god, how long did Ruby put up with this?" Tai whispered to Yang as Qrow begin to push Weiss's buttons on purpose.
Yang shrugged "Honestly, she's better than she was when we first met her."
Tai looked in disbelief
Finally, Roman cracked over the bickering between the white haired banshee and the drunk. "Oh for the love of god, I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT LITTLE RED! Now shut up and get out of my base before my boss kills me!" He snapped.
Jaune raised an eyebrow. "Oh, nonononono. Your dear 'boss' has kidnapped Ruby. And since you don't know anything about it, you're gonna find out."
"And what's to stop me from getting in the Captain's good graces and ratting you lot out?" Roman growled.
"Qrow?"
The veteran hunter replied by bringing his massive scythe down right down between Roman's legs, the duel barrels pointed straight at him as the gears whirred then thudded into place. "Just fucking try, Limpdick." Qrow said, a crazed gleam in his eyes.
A man of Roman's caliber was in the business long enough to know when to fold. "Alright, fine...I'll see what I can find out." He swallowed nervously
Jaune raised his gun towards the mobster "You have a week before we start looking?"
"Eh, I'd say less than a week." Qrow added
"Yeah, gotta agree with Mr Booze over here, the sooner the better." Blake commented.
"What he said." Jaune corrected his statement "So, find out, and find out soon."
Leaving the seemingly innocent warehouse, the group couldn't help but be disappointed and frustrated. They were no closer to finding Ruby then they were before, and every moment was time with Ruby captive, an unknown variable that grew more tense with each passing hour.|
"Well, shit." Yang said, vocally saying the thing on everyone's mind "Now what?"
The group paused for a moment, however, Tai spoke up "Ozpin said this guy was looking at some of that Cinder lady Qrow killed old contacts. Do we know any other connections she had that might be a good lead?"
Yang gave an awkward cough "Well...I think I know a guy…" She said sheepishly
Qrow raised an eyebrow "You think?"
"Well, he's a club owner…"
"And like that, a reason to visit. I could use a drink."
Jaune looked at this with skepticism "That's just one lead. As far as we know, this...who is he again, Yang?"
"Junior."
"This Junior could be even more useless than Torchwick. We need to start finding trails to follow. Weiss, an army like the one Ozpin said he's been planning has to be supplied. Is there anyway we could check dust shipments to see if anything pops up that's unusual?"
Weiss nodded her head "I should be able to stop at the communications tower and pick up some manifestos and see if anythings unusual for it."
Tai, however, looked uncomfortable. Something was bugging him. "Qrow, could we speak for a bit? Alone" He said, speaking up.
"Why do you want to speak to Uncle Qrow alone Dad?" Yang asked, the rest of the group seeming interested.
"It's nothing against you guys...well, girls and guy." Tai said awkwardly "It's just a matter of old teammate things. Why don't you all go ahead and start up? We'll meet you there."
Yang merely shrugged and began to walk off towards her bike, Blake following her while Jaune followed Weiss towards the tower. "Guess the betting pools where right. Knew I should have gone entire team."
Tai looked at Qrow as the younger huntsman and huntresses left the area. "You know, it wouldn't hurt to check. She might not have much respect for us, but the least she can do is save the last remnants we have of Summer."
Qrow sighed "Tai, that's a stupid idea. You know she operates on her own agenda. What makes her want to help save Ruby? She hardly cares about her own kid. Besides, tracking her down is a different story altogether."
"Qrow, we need to look at this realistically. I know you want to help, but I truly think it would be better if you went and looked for Raven to help us."
The avian hunter raised a brow and leaned towards Tai "Oh, and why is that?"
"Look, I don't mean this in any way of being rude, but I can't afford to have you around the main search group. Not with your semblance. I'm not taking that risk. Not with Ruby at stake. So I need you to find your sister, and get her to help us. I know, I know this is a lot to ask. But please, help me get my daughter back." Tai said, desperation in his eyes.
Qrow didn't know what to feel. On one hand, he felt hurt, betrayed. But Tai was right. His semblance would rear it's head one way or another, and it was better to leave before it was vital. "Alright fine." He sighed "But dealing with my oh so wonderful saint of a sister, I want some form of payment. By that, I want the rest of the beer I made before the girls were born. That shit was good."
Tai widened his eyes in shock "You mean the Roadhouse Boomstick Megakick Exoitic Grimm Reaper? Qrow, that is literally a hazard to be around, let alone drink!"
"Do you wanna get Raven?"
"Fuck no, she hates me!"
"Then give me my baby, and I'll get your baby momma, while you go with the kids to find Julie's-
"You're doing that on purpose."
"-baby momma."
Tai sighed, but nodded, returning back to his serious demeanor "Thank you for doing this. Seriously Qrow. Words cannot express my gratitude."
The avian man merely chuckled "Eh, I've been meaning to pay her a visit anyway. Afterall, doesn't she owe you thousands in child services?"
Tai blinked. "Holy shit… She does! FIND HER! NOW, DO IT NOW!" The blonde man shouted, basically throwing Qrow off on his way.
Tyrian looked at his objective with a dark grin, barely containing his glee. His goal was to find out what his lady's TRAITOROUS new toy Jimmy was doing against his precious Queen, but to find out the information that he could strike the pesky Qrow that had been bothering the Lady's plans, even to the point of killing that foolish miscreant Cinder before she could fill his Lady's grand plan! Oh, how happy the Queen will be when he returns with the dead bird in hand! He can see it now, crushing the Branwen slowly with his tail, squeezing the life from his foolish hands that dare defy the fate of his Goddess!
No, he said quietly to himself. He must focus. He'd tail (AN: Heh, pun) them, get the information on the metal man, then kill the damn bird, then kill tin man. He'd have to be, for he knew his lady would be displeased in him if he returned empty handed. No, he only couldn't even bare the thought! To top it off, it looked like he didn't even need to separate the Branwen from the rest of his group, but not that he wouldn't enjoy playing with them later. They all looked fairly skilled, though the skinny blonde one seemed interesting...oh, he'll enjoy toying with him...
"I'm borrrrrredddddddddddddd" Ruby droned out to the camera in her cell. If she was in prison, the least she could do was drive her captors insane. "And hungry. I demand cookies!"
All sympathy Emerald had for the girl was gone. Hell, was about ready to go and break the captain's rule and kill her already. The little goody two shoes had been going at this for hours since waking up. Did this girl just radiate optimise? It almost made her physically sick. And she HAD to watch over the camera feed from the cell to insure that she doesn't escape.
"Feed me!"
Emerald's eye twitch. Maybe out back… how long could she fool them with an illusions before they noticed that she disposed of the body?
"This is freaking hysterical to watch. Little Red is just pushing all your buttons"
Emerald turned to see Mercury munching on a bowl of popcorn, a shit eating grin plastered on his face.
"Don't you have something better to do?" The green haired thief deadpanned.
"You know, I probably do. But watching your pain and suffering is so much more amusing to me."
He replied, grabbing a handful of popcorn and munching on it.
"I hate you. So, so very much." She gritted out.
"You know, here's a smart idea. Why don't you, I don't know, feed her?" Mercury snarked at her.
Emerald blinked. She thought by now one of the guards would have given Red some food, but then she recalled that the captain put her in charge of her...and that apparently meant feeding her.
"Give me your popcorn jackass." She said, snatching the bowl from his hands.
"But...but… that's my popcorn." he stuttered, looking like a sad pathetic puppy.
"Sorry, I'll give it back." She said sweetly, handing it back to him, only for the assassin to find it was an illusion.
Emerald hated puppies.
"GOD DAMN IT EM!"
Ruby continued to pout in her cell, her stomach sending her pangs of hunger. God, were her captors gonna feed her at least? She was eating for 3, after all! Her unborn twins,actually, it was getting tiring of referring to them as that. Note to self, discuss names with Jaune she thought.
Suddenly, Emerald, the girl who was one of Cinder's teammates appeared in the room, holding a bowl of popcorn.
"How? What?" Ruby looked at her in shock
"Here's your food." The green haired thief said, dropping the bowl down to her.
"Popcorn?"
Emerald's eye twitched "Do you not want it Red?"
"NoSorryIt'sJustThatMaybeSomethingALittleMoreWouldBeNicePlease?" She squeaked out, grabbing the bowl and devouring it, Emerald taking smug satisfaction that Mercury was probably watching the feed in torment.
Emerald looked into to her eyes and saw something she remembered long ago. That desperate fear, not knowing what happens next...she wasn't able to cast convincing decoys by stories after all. It tore her inside to have been the cause of that fear. She couldn't do this. Not for long.
"Look, what do you want Red?" She said, trying to extend an olive branch to the huntress.
"To get out of here and back with my-"
"Yeah, that's not happening. What do you want to eat besides Mercury's popcorn?" She deadpanned.
Ruby paused for moment, deep in thought. She decided that she needed to accept this for what it's worth. This was the nicest thing anyone has done for her since she arrived, no, placed in this prison. She gave a simple order, a small meal composed of food that reminded her of home.
"Anything else Red?" Emerald said, her patience ticking.
"A strawberry and chocolate cookie. If it wouldn't be too much trouble." She squeaked quietly.
Emerald glared "Really? Sweets?"
"I like cookies."
Emerald rubbed her brow, her migraine pounding in her skull. "I'll see what I can do. But no promises." And with that, she left the cell. Emerald knew she should have just given the prisoner the standard food, but she felt...inclined? to make her slightly more comfortable. It was her fault that the kid was here anyway. What good was trying to clear her hands of this now by offering the kid some nice things? God, when where the days she could just rob some rich dick without giving a crap about feeling like crap later.
She needed to contact Torchwick. She was growing more and more uneasy with this Captain, and she needed to know if he had that backdoor ready.
Sun was tired. He was enjoying getting close to Blake and meeting her parents, and actually helping lead the White Fang back to their original ways. However, he now couldn't think that he was not in the ideal situation…
His team was mildly salty at him to say the least. Neptune, Scarlet, and Sage were giving him the stink eye as if he did something horribly evil to them, and Ms Goodwitch strictness was just adding to tension. Sun had no idea why his team might be mad at him. He contacted them saying they had a mission to do, and sure enough they were there to meet him when his bullhead landed, but not with smiles and hive fives, but with scowls and cold shoulders. As Ms Goodwitch begin to lay out their game plan for finding the Spring Maiden, planning on first having them check the headmaster, then having them scope out the villages for rumors of a young woman helping anyone in need of help. Sure enough, the headmaster was a dead end, having no idea on the whereabouts of the maiden. So, they set out on the next village, in an unusual silence, that surprisingly Ms Goodwitch had nothing to do with.
The silence was torture to the monkey faunus. Sun lived for excitement, adventure, and to see his teammates so unnatural quite, glaring at him like he was some turd, it was draining. He just didn't know why. They stopped for the night, setting up camp, Neptune going to bed in his tent, Sage and Scarlet went off to get more firewood, leaving Sun alone with the teacher from Beacon.
"So...nice weather tonight…" He said awkwardly, trying to break the tension.
"I suppose so, Mr Wu Kong." Glynda stated.
Sun paused for a moment. Ms Goodwitch was a teacher from Beacon, maybe she'd know what's wrong with his team. "Say, you're a great at teaching hunters, right?"
Glynda raised a brow "I do my job to the best of my abilities, yes."
"Do you think you can tell me what's wrong with my team then?" Sun said
"I don't see anything wrong with your team Mr. Wu Kong." She said, Sun giving her a confused look. "I see an error in their leader."
"Oh come on, I'm a great leader! We hardly ever lose with me in charge!"
"There's more to being a leader than leading a team to victory, Mr Wu Kong."
"Whaddya mean?"
"A leader must look out for their team, guiding them, helping them, walking beside them. They are put on a pedestal above their peers, and it's their role. The best teams often have the strongest bonds. You have not shown any of the traits yet. Yes, you're good at leading them in battle, but that's just one facet of leadership. Time has shown that you have cast aside your team when the occasion rises in order to pursue other desires."
"What? That's not true!"
"Oh, then where was your team when you first showed up at Beacon Academy 4 years ago? Did you inform them of your plans with Ms Belladonna?"
"Okay, I went ahead to Beacon because we thought it was a good idea to scout out the competition, and Neptune is scared of water!"
"And did you try to work around this or help him with it?" She scolded him, Sun lowering his head. In hindsight, he was being a jackass to Neptune back then. "Being a leader isn't fun and games. I know teams work differently for each academy, but you in the short time I've seen have not portrayed any traits of a leader. If you want your team to warm up to you, earn it." Glynda stated. "And I recommend you do it fast, as we will need to be in top shape if we are to find the maiden in time before Ironwood or the Grimm get to her."
Omake: Immersion Special
AN: This is my sorry for being so late. Hope y'all enjoy.
Yang looked into the camera "Is this thing on?"
Ruby gave her sister a thumbs up, holding the camera in the other "We're rolling, sis!"
"My name is Yang Xaio Long, and I'm totally not doing this for extra credit because my science class is a pain in the ass and I need this to pass."
"Yang, you literally threw a desk out a window when the teacher asked you to give an example of Newton's laws of physics." Ruby deadpanned.
"I still don't get how that wasn't valid example!"
"It hit a student! They had to get sent to the nurse!"
"Well, if they can't dodge an incoming desk, then they obviously aren't ready for Beacon. Anyway, I come here today with a simple question. You ever wondered how video game logic would apply in real life? I come here today with my two lab rats, Jaune Arc, leader of team JNPR, and Sun Wu Kong leader of team SSSN of Haven." Yang said as Ruby focused the camera onto the blonde leaders, both wearing blue jumpsuits with a chibi version of Yang giving a thumbs up.
"I'm getting payed for this, right?" Jaune asked, picking at the jumpsuit.
"And you're gonna help me get Blake to go on a date with this lovable monkey?" Sun followed up with a wink towards the camera.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever" The Blonde Brawler dismissed with no care. "Now, today, we'll be testing two games in mind. The first one is to see how terrifyingly it would be to go through the situation you're put into in the famous horror game, 5 Nights at Freddy's. Now our version, due to budgeting, will be 5 Night's at Juniors! And...cut" Yang said then turned to Jaune and Sun "Now be at Junior's club by midnight." She smiled at them as she walked off.
"Wait, why did you bring us here when we weren't even doing anything till tonight?!" Sun called out to Yang.
Sun looked in the poorly lit office. "So, what, we just watch the place with the cameras for 6 hours? This isn't that scary." He scoffed as he sat down in the swivel chair and spun around, already bored.
Jaune, however, was familiar with the game they were emulating. "Sun, I be very, very careful…" He said, poking his head out into the dark hallway.
"Oh come on! Our careers have us fighting the scariest monsters this world has to offer! I'm not gonna be scared of the some cheap animatronics in the dark-where the hell did the bunny one go?" Sun suddenly said, his eyes widening in horror "JESUS CHRIST, THAT THING JUST GOT OFF STAGE! CLOSE THE GODDAMN DOOR, CLOSE IT NOW, YOU IDIOT!"
"I can't! if I do, then we'll use up all the power and we'll be double screwed!" Jaune yelled out
"What sick bastards play this game for fun?" Sun wailed as he monitored more costumed mascots spring off stage.
Yang looked at the feed from the office they were getting, munching on a bucket of popcorn. This was priceless! I mean, use the Pumpkin Pete's mascot costume with some fake blood covered in it, Some Grimm costumes, and fool team CRDL into wearing them! Was it a little bit overkill to give them tasers? Motivation for her test monkeys (heh) to do better...wait, did she tell them they had tasers? Oh well.
3 hours later…
Sun and Jaune were in full panic mode. They were down to less than 10% of battery life, the pounding on the doors was getting worse, the fucking bunny was in the vent, they could hear tasers crackling. Jaune for the first hour had managed to keep somewhat of a cool head, trying to develop a strategy to consume less power, but the damn things just kept coming! It was like they each harbored vendettas against them!
Sun looked to Jaune, fear causing him to tremble "Jaune, if I don't make it, tell Blake that she number 2 on my list of hottest girls."
"And if I don't, tell my team they were like a second family, thank Ruby for helping me through some rough times, and tell Pyrrha that I valued her friendship."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Just our friendship. She was a good friend."
Sun looked at him. Was he really that fucking dense? Suddenly, an idea hit the monkey boy.
"Jaune, how high is your aura?"
"Well, I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I've been told it's pretty big, if I do say so myself" Jaune said with a fake modesty.
Sun gave a dark grin "Excellent...Excellent."
"Sun, what is that smile-WHY ARE YOU PICKING ME UP?"
The monkey faunus gave him a blindly white smile "I'mma use you to bludgeon them away. Don't worry, your aura should protect you. I think."
"THAT'S A HORRIBLE IDEA!"
"The only horrible ideas are the ones never tried!"
"MOUNT GLENN BEGS TO DIFFER!"
"Oh hush and let me use your dense head to live."
One Epic Arc Wielding Fight and Concussion Test later.
"Now our next experiment is on the popular game Fruit Hunter! This popular scroll game has the player slicing bits of fruit thrown at them. Our goal today is to if our lab monkeys can successfully hit as many fruit as they can, and see if the game is accurate. We will have our team of loyal scientists" Yang explained, gesturing towards the rest of team SSSN and JNPR wielding slingshots next to a large crate of fruit. "They will use the slingshots we've given them to launch the fruit at you, then you, with the weapons we supplied you, will try to slice them before they hit you. Any questions?"
"Yes." Sun raised a hand "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US?!"
"For science!" Yang said with a smile. "Now, we felt bad about leading you into this since you guys technically aren't hunters. So we got a real hunter to help you guys!...I said a real hunter to help you… A REAL HUNTER TO HELP"
"Oh shit, that's my que." Jaune and Sun were greeted with the sight of Ruby and Yang's Uncle Qrow stumbling into the room in a drunken strut. "Sup Jeremy, Harambe." He waved towards the two.
"A drunk in gonna teach us for an afternoon." Jaune deadpanned "This is gonna end well."
"Sarcasm isn't gonna help" Yang replied with a smile "Now let the training begin! I'm gonna go do Yang things." and with that, Yang walked off.
Jaune and Sun looked at the drunken man with skepticism in their eyes "So what, how are we gonna do this, exactly-"
However, they were cut off as Qrow flickered and appeared behind them, kicking both of them in the face with a well timed roundhouse "TRAINING BEGINS NOW"
1 Training Montage set to that sweet Eye of the Tiger/I Burn mix used in RWBY chibi Later
Yang walked up to the two lab monkeys "So, you guys ready for this?"
Jaune rubbed his forehead "No...I think your uncle gave me a hangover...ow"
"Well too bad!" She smiled, then gestured towards the testing area, a makeshift wall build with a large pile of fruit stacked away from it "Now, for the first round, we have Sun. Now, for the sake of this not being a blatant massacre, we've supplied you with some standard nunchucks. Now it will be your goal to deflect as much fruit as possible in order to win the Victory of Science. Now for throwing the fruit, we recruited the generous talents of teams SSSN, CFVY, and the Vale police department. They jumped on the opportunity to throw fruit at you. Something about vengeance on the stowaway. You ready monkey boy?"
Sun shook his head frantically "NO! This is ridiculous! I'm completely outnumbered-"
"BEGIN!" Yang said, firing her gauntlet to signal the start.
Sun hardly had time to react, dodging apples, watermelons, limes, lemons, pears, and when the opportunity arises, even deflecting some with the nunchucks supplied to him. Hell, he even caught a banana with his tail for a snack for later! However, when the timer begin to countdown from 10, Sun saw Scarlet pick up a coconut, a dark gleam in his eyes. Oh son of a bitc-
Jaune cringed as he saw the red haired pirate give his leader the same finisher he received at the Vytal festival. Jaune knew right off the bat that he wouldn't be as good as Sun did. Hell, he'd be lucky to make it out alive.
"Now next up is the Lady Killer, the Vomit Boy himself, Jaune Arc." Yang announced, transitioning to Jaune as Blake lacklusterly (and unwillingly) dragged a near comatose Sun off the testing area. "Now, for you, we have Weiss, the rest of your team, team CRDL, and team BRNZ!"
Jaune looked in defeat "Is there anyone you didn't get that hates me?"
"Well, now that you asked…"
"Forget I asked!" Jaune yelled as he raised his wooden sword rabidly.
"Alright, begin!"
Nora gained a maniacal grin, picking up the entire cart of fruit, raising it high "NORA SMASH"
Jaune's eyes widened in shock "Nora, NOOO-"
Yang stood in front of Jaune in a full body cast and Sun with an ice pack on his groin, both looking quite furious at her. "Well gentlemen, I think we made a great advancement in science today!"
"What advancement! I got hit in the dick with a coconut and Jaune got an entire cart of fruit thrown at him by the ginger chick on his team! HOW IS THIS AT ALL AN ADVANCEMENT!" Sun yelled, Jaune moaning in agreement
"Because I'm now passing science!" She smiled back at them. " But you know, I'm beginning to think the writer have something against Jaune."
"What? What writer? And he didn't get hit in the dick! God, I didn't think Karma would work this way!"
"Sshh...this is all a joke, it's not even cannon to the plot. Now tell me, what do you know about this thing called Szechuan Sauce?"