Echoes carried through the metal staircase of the Wolf's Den. Stomping feet and laughter rang out. A sound very uncommon to the sad bunker of the Whitetails. Liz, Dep, and Sharky bounded down the hallway and into the main room.
"Okay, so did y'all see the look on that doctor lady's face?" Liz said. She carried the yellow crate full of records in her hands as she walked. Her bat was tucked under her arm.
"Yeah, that was pretty funny. Cause' we were trying to help her out and then we turned it all to shit."
"You mean you turned it all to shit…" She laughed. It had been entertaining as hell to see Sharky light that place on fire.
"Guys…" Dep said.
She realized that they had been practically screaming in the quiet bunker. Both Eli and Wheaty were staring at them. When she locked eyes with her uncle, her laughter faded. She hadn't seen him at all this morning. That had been deliberate. She didn't want to have to see him again just for this reason.
"So, how'd it go?" Eli asked.
Liz started him down. There was a divide between she and her uncle. She hadn't received the welcome to the resistance that she had been expecting. None of the Whitetails trusted her, and Eli just wanted to use her. She kept her mouth shut and walked right by him.
It was a cold thing to do, but she didn't care. It didn't matter that they were family, she didn't want to talk to him right now. She walked over to Wheaty instead. She sat down the crate of records on the table.
"Hey Liz…" He shifted uncomfortably. Everyone seemed to be on edge due to the tension she had with Eli. It shouldn't though. Whatever was between she and her uncle was their business, not anyone else's.
A chipper smile crossed her face. "Hey! I found these today. Figured you'd like them."
Wheaty flipped through the crate, the tension fading from him. "Wow, there are some good records in here. Thanks."
"No problem."
"I can add them all to your iPod if you want."
"Yeah, that'd be awesome!" She pulled her iPod out of her back pocket and handed it over. He took it and hooked it up to his computer.
"Oh, and I was gonna' ask Dep to do this, but you seem pretty capable." He dug around in some boxes and pulled out a map of Hope County. There were several markings throughout the Whitetails.
"These are some locations of other records that I know of. This isn't really a priority but while you're out you should look for them. Think you can handle it?"
A smirk grew across her face. She took the map from him. "I know I can."
"Great, just bring them to me as you find them, and I'll put them on your iPod. I have full confidence in you."
"Thanks, Wheaty."
He gave her one last smile before he began to load up the records. She retreated into the depths of the bunker. She had claimed a mattress in the back room. The beds were pretty much out in the open, but they were divided by the shelves stocked with food. Her mattress was on the far left side, closest to the emergency exit. She needed to put up a sheet or a curtain or something. Sometimes sleeping out in the open sucked. But it was better than the Veteran's Center and that was all that mattered.
She leaned her bat in the corner next to her bed. It was nice having a bat again. It was familiar. A lot of things were a bit more familiar now. The familiarity was the only thing that kept her sane.
She removed her hat and let her hair fall to her shoulders. A line of sweat rested on her brow. She collapsed onto the dusty mattress. Her legs propped up on one of the metal shelves. It had been a long day. Becoming a Gun for Hire was no small matter. She had to be on beck and call for Dep, and she was a high value target to the Peggies. Well, she already was one before because of her last name.
Her conservation with Jacob earlier had been a strange one. Every time she talked to him, she managed to only become more confused. Why had he let her go? She knew where the Wolf's Den was, that was what he wanted most of all. He could have captured her and tortured her to get the location. Or, even followed her and Dep back to the bunker. But he hadn't done any of those things. She couldn't wrap her finger around it as to why.
Maybe it had something to do with submission. He liked it when people were degraded enough till they were willing. That's what his conditioning was. If his plan was to try to manipulate her into coming back to him, he was in for a rude awakening. That wasn't going to happen. Her trust in him had been broken the moment he threw her into that cage. As much as she secretly wanted to, she couldn't go back to him. She took her radio off her belt and surveyed it. She could call him if she wanted. But she shouldn't, especially not in the Wolf's Den.
Growing anxious from being alone, Liz sat up and put the radio back on her belt. Don't even think about talking to him. Nothing good would come from that. She stood and made her way back out into the hallway. There wasn't anyone around. Wheaty said that other Whitetails stayed here but she hadn't seen any. Not that she cared, the less people around the better.
Her boots clacked on the metal floor. Wheaty was busy downloading the records she brought him. Bless him.
She rounded the corner to see Dep and Sharky talking to Eli. They all fell into an awkward silence. Maybe she shouldn't have been a dick to Eli a few minutes ago.
"What's going on here?" She asked.
Eli was the first to speak up. "Been talking to Dep about the stashes we got over the mountains. You know, the ones that Jacob knows about."
There wasn't venom in his words, but he wasn't being humorous either. It was more like disappointment. That was where she stood with Eli. He was disappointed with her and with himself. All around her relationship with her uncle just sucked.
"He would have killed me if I didn't give him something."
Eli sighed. "I know, and I don't blame you for that. But we need to do something about it."
"So, what's the plan?"
They all just stared at her. Dep shifted awkwardly and Sharky rubbed the back of his neck. There was the goddamn tell again. He was not good at keeping secrets at all. They weren't going to tell her the plan because they already had one without her.
"Y'all don't want me to go."
"Look Liz… You've done enough for today. Get some rest. Sharky and Jess will have my back." Dep said.
She rolled her eyes at the mention of that woman. Her nose was still broken from yesterday's events. It hurt a little bit whenever she touched her face at all. Right now, she was angry, not just at Jess but at the boys for not wanting to bring her along.
"This was my fault. I should at least be there to fix it." Fighting again today was the last thing she wanted to do. She didn't mind sitting one out. But she didn't want anyone else to fix something that she did. The only reason that Jacob knew about the stashes is because she had gotten lost in those blue eyes and spilled. That day she had been a little too happy to be helping him out.
"You're not going. It's my call." Eli said.
"Fine." She spat. There was no arguing with him. She was in his bunker, fighting for his militia. It was his call. And she didn't want to get into another argument with him.
He turned back to the boys. "Y'all all set?"
Dep nodded. "Yeah I think we got it. We're going to head out. Radio me when you spot us on the cameras."
Dep and Sharky gathered their things and left. Her skills were not needed for this mission. Dep would get along just fine without her as a Gun for Hire. She couldn't help but shake the shit feeling in her stomach though. As soon as the boys left, she shook her head and began to walk away.
"Hey, didn't say you could leave yet. Need you for something."
She sighed and stomped back over to Eli. "What do you want?"
"I know you're pretty upset with me, and you should be. But you need to listen to me."
Oh, there was plenty of reasons to be upset with him. He didn't tell her about the cult growing right under her nose. He left her in the hands of his greatest enemy for months. He also didn't respect her at all.
"Why? You're not my father."
"You're right. I'm not, but he's not here. We're the last two Palmers standing. I don't say that to downplay what might have happened, but that's how it is now…"
She tried to fight the tears that began to well up in her eyes. They were the last two Palmers standing. What a crazy concept. She didn't know exactly what happened to her parents, but she had a pretty good idea. They were probably dead.
"Look Lizzie… You can be pissed at me all you want. Just know that… I'm sorry. I did everything I could to try to get you away from Jacob."
He tried to reach for her hand. She snatched it away and wiped her eyes. She buried her feeling of her parents. Grieving wouldn't help her. It would only make her weak.
"Whatever… just forget it." She didn't want to talk about this shit anymore. It didn't get her anywhere and just made her upset.
"Are we gonna' be okay?"
Her mouth hung open as she stared at him. Out of all the questions that people had asked her since getting back to Montana, this was by far the dumbest. How could he think that everything would be okay again? They were in the middle of a war. Life was pretty much over as they knew it. It wouldn't be long before they were all dead.
"No. We are never going to be okay Eli. I forgive you for letting me get captured, but I won't forget. Things can't go back to the way they were."
That was what broke her heart most of all. She and Eli used to do everything together. They went fishing, camping, to softball games. He used to be her best friend. Now he was trying his best to be her father. But she didn't need a father, she just needed a friend. There was no going back.
"Just tell me what you need me to do, so I don't have to talk to you."
He sighed and fetched a pad of paper and a pen. He set them down in front of her. "I need you to sort and count the inventory room. Write down how many guns and bullets we have. And then after I need you to do laundry."
Another woman would have found it insulting that they were assigned to laundry duty. Not Liz though, that was fine by her. She didn't want to fight… or kill. But she also didn't want to be used. Eli didn't have her fight because he valued her skills, but because she was a symbol. So, if doing laundry got her out of that, then so be it.
She took the materials from him. "Fine."
She walked back over to Wheaty. He was still working with those records. "Hey um… Wheaty. I'm gonna' need my iPod back."
"What can't go five minutes without listening to music?" He laughed.
"Not really! And Eli's making me count inventory. I don't want to do it in silence."
"I'm not done loading the records up."
"That's fine." He unhooked it from his computer and handed it to her. She really couldn't go five minutes without this thing. It was one of her only possessions.
"Here you go."
"Thanks."
In the Book of Joseph, he had talked about how homeless people clung to certain possessions. Sometimes if their item was destroyed, they could die of a broken heart. It was their only link to a past lives. That one item kept them sane and gave them hope. Liz kind of understood what that was like.
If her iPod broke she wouldn't die, but she would be upset. Listening to music was the one thing that kept her sane. That kept her human. But in the Whitetail Mountains, music, or one song in particular was the enemy. She gripped her iPod a little too tight in her hand and walked back down the hall. The only people in the bunker right now were Eli, Wheaty, her, and Tammy was somewhere around here. Not that Liz wanted to see that woman anyways.
The inventory room was a complete mess. There were bullets strewn everywhere and all of the guns were out of place. The disorganization might have been somewhat her fault when she was stealing things to run away. Funny, how things always came back around to bite her in the ass.
This was probably going to take the rest of the day. She'd better get to work. She placed the headphones in her ears and hit the shuffle button. The music instantly calmed her down. Nothing else seemed to do that.
She looked at the mess before her. She decided to sort the bullets first. It seemed like the most work, she might as well get that done first. She lined up ammo boxes on the counter and sorted by bullet type. She'd gather up the bullets from the ground then drop them into their coordinating box.
Most of the bullets were for rifles, the second most common was pistol ammo. It was boring, mundane work, but it was relaxing. With the headphones in her ears, she fell into a rhythm.
'Don't look back. A new day is breakin'
It's been too long since I felt this way.'
This was peaceful to her. She had a simple job to do and music in her ears. If this was her job everyday that would be fine. Maybe being with the Whitetails wouldn't be so bad. She didn't have to be on good terms with Eli, she just had to survive. That was the only thing that mattered.
'I don't mind where I get taken, the road is callin'. Today is the day.'
"You… to… m…" A sound came through her radio. She could barely hear it through the headphones, but she knew who it belonged to. Jacob was trying to talk to her. She took one headphone out of her ear and took her radio off her belt.
"What do you want asshole?" It wasn't a good idea to be talking to him in the Wolf's Den. But he called her, and she just couldn't help herself.
"You burned down my camp." He sounded pissed. His voice wasn't as rough as it had been this morning but it was still coarse. Maybe he didn't swallow gravel during his free time.
She burst out laughing. "Well… technically it was Sharky who did that. I was just an innocent bystander. And I thought I told you not to call me again."
'I can see. It took so long to realize.
I'm much too strong, not to compromise.'
With one hand she held the radio and with the other she continued to sort the bullets. Her head bobbed back and forth, and her hips swayed to the music. She wasn't going to let Jacob ruin her good mood.
"My Chosen found half of the Breakthrough Camp in ashes and at least twenty dead judges. I think a chat is necessary, sweetheart."
"Oh, please. What are you gonna' do? Threaten me some more? You won't do anything."
'Now I see what I am is holding me down. I'll turn it around.'
"Don't mistake my generosity for incompetence."
"Nah… I think incompetence is the right word. I'm still with the Whitetails and you have absolutely nothing."
It wasn't a good idea to continue to taunt Jacob, but she didn't care. What was he really going to do? She was safe in the Wolf's Den. He wasn't going to find her here. There was no point in worrying about what he said. She continued to sort the bullets without a care in the world.
"Little lamb, I can get you back anytime I want. Just say the word and I'll come get you."
She scoffed. "You think so damn highly of yourself. I'm not going back to you, Seed. Go to hell."
'I finally see the dawn arrivin'. I see beyond the road I'm drivin'
Far away and left behind.'
"And what is that goddam music?"
She looked at her radio to see that she was holding one of her earbuds in the same hand. It was directly next to the radio. She hadn't even realized it.
"Holy shit, you can hear that?" She held the headphone closer to the radio, so it would be louder.
'It's a new horizon and I'm awakin' now. Oh, I see myself in a brand-new way.'
"Yes, unfortunately. It makes it hard to focus."
"Says the man who uses a music box to brainwash people. Don't you ever get tired of that damn song? I mean there are better songs than Only You."
He had to get at least somewhat sick of that song, right? Liz had only listened to that song about three times and she hated it. There's no telling how many times he had listened to that music box. She couldn't help but wonder why he chose that song.
"I know you don't understand what I do, but you will eventually."
She chuckled to herself. "Yeah that'll be the day… But ya' know what Seed? I'm going to take it upon myself to improve your taste in music. I'll play you more songs."
"I thought you said you didn't want to talk to me?"
"I mean… I don't. But I think it's my responsibility to purge your brainwashing song and Set Those Sinners Free out of your system."
"God, I hate that song."
"Really? But I… thought that…"
He didn't like his own song? He had seemed to like it that one day. She couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed about what happened.
"Only when you sing it…"
Her eyes grew wide. She froze in place. The bullets fell from her hand and clattered on the counter. There was a tugging feeling in her chest. He couldn't mean that, could he? She had the worst singing voice. Her voice always cracked anytime she tried to sing. There was nothing soothing about her voice, let alone make him like a song that he hated.
She shook her head and brushed away the feeling. "Tactics aren't gonna' work on me Seed."
He sighed. "You ever going to believe anything I say?"
"Nope."
Jacob didn't want or need her. He just wanted the location of the Wolf's Den. But then again, that was something he could have gotten last night. He had some other reason for letting her go. She could just ask him. There were a still a million questions about things that still needed answering. But she shouldn't ask them in the bunker.
"Actually… can I call you back? I just have a lot of work to do right now. And I'd rather us insult each other when we're both focused." She chuckled.
None of this was a good idea. She shouldn't be talking to him, let alone looking forward to talking to him. But every time Jacob opened his mouth, she seemed to throw all logic out the window.
"What's Eli having you do?"
"Counting bullets. This inventory room is a mess! There's not much in it but it's still a pain in…" She stopped talking when she realized what she said. Now he knew that the Whitetails didn't have that many guns. She groaned. "Shit…"
Jacob chuckled on the other side of the radio. "Oh I do love our talks, little lamb. I'll be waiting for you. Can't wait for you to tell me more."
A clicking sound indicated that he tuned out. How did she end up talking to him again? She made it very clear yesterday and this morning that she hated his guts. But she continued to talk to him anyways. She was surprised he didn't bring up the threat he had made to her earlier. She didn't need to be reminded though. It was somewhat of an empty threat but one that still gave her chills. He didn't know where she was, but he also found her before… The whole situation freaked her out. She didn't want to think about it.
Liz clipped her radio to her belt and put the headphones back in her ears. She flipped through a few songs before finding another one she liked. She put her focus back on counting bullets. The next time she talked to him, she couldn't slip up again.
She didn't know how long she sorted the bullets, it could have been minutes or hours. She was completely zoned out. Eventually the ammo boxes filled up and there were no more bullets strewn about. She focused on the guns next. The armory that the Whitetails had accumulated was pretty pathetic. Jacob could wipe them out with the supplies at one of his outposts. It was not a good thing that he knew that now. She just didn't know how to keep her mouth shut.
In the cabinets there were 23 rifles, 4 shotguns, and 19 pistols. Two of those being the revolver she had taken and the AR-C she got from the Cult VIP. Dep had been the one to suggest that she put them back in the lockers. He said that Eli didn't like it when everyone walked around the bunker armed. Funny how Dep knew more about her own uncle than she did.
When she was digging through the lockers, she found something that may be useful. It was an extra rifle strap. It was short and looked about her size. She ran into the back room to fetch her bat. She secured the strap on one end of the bat and towards the middle on the other side. It fit perfectly.
She slung the strap over her shoulders and onto her back. That would do just fine. She would have to hold the strap down when she swung it, but that was fine. It would be nice to not have to carry it anymore. She left it on her back as she finished up in the inventory room. She wrote down all the figures on the sheet to give to Eli.
After a few more minutes of sorting, she was finally finished. The inventory room of the Wolf's Den was beautifully organized. Everything was tucked away in its place. She gathered up the notepad and bounded down the hall. Music continued to blast into her ears, blocking out the world. She passed right by Eli and plopped the notepad down on the table, not bothering to look at him. She opened the door to the laundry room and stepped inside.
What she saw shocked her. She felt sick to her stomach. A chosen member was strapped to a chair. The chair was in a kiddie pool and hooked up to electrical cords. Tammy stood over a table, adjusting a car battery.
"What you ain't ever seen torture before?" Tammy asked.
She removed one earbud. It took everything in her power not to throw up. "No. I just thought the Whitetails were better than this."
As she looked at the Chosen member, she saw Marcus. The old man had been so nice to her during her time at the Veteran's Center. Even though Jacob had been the one to tell him to do that. She also saw Andrea. The face of the woman she had killed was still ingrained in her mind. It could have been her strapped to that chair. Liz also herself. If she wasn't related to Eli, she would be sitting there.
Tammy gave her a dirty look. "We're in a fucking war, girl. I don't care how we get information."
She shook her head and walked over the laundry machine. She did not want to be alone in a room with this woman, but she had job to do.
"Talk like that, you might as well be with the cult."
Tammy scoffed. "Oh please, if anyone here is a Peggie it's you. It's only a matter of time before you snap. Eli can't see that, but I can. When that happens, I won't hesitate to put you down."
"What's stopping you from doing it now?" She eyed Tammy up and down. This woman didn't scare her. Her mouth pressed into a thin line and she turned her attention back to the car battery. That's what Liz thought. She began to load up clothes into the washing machine.
The Whitetails had a crazy schedule when it came to water usage. Everyone only got showers once a week and clothes were washed every two weeks. She unfortunately had the luck of being here when it was the week to wash clothes.
"Are you sleeping with my Uncle?" It was a pretty bold question to ask. Not that Liz was one to shy away from asking blunt questions.
"No. Eli's just my friend, a good friend. We don't always agree on everything but we both do what needs to be done."
She nodded. "Oh. I just was hoping he would have found someone by now…"
It had been years since his wife had left. That was one of the worst times in the Palmer family. Eli had lost his son and his wife, all in one go. If Eli had someone, it would take the pressure off her. She was his only family left and she just couldn't handle that. Her relationship with her uncle was too far broken.
When she was folding the clothes, she found a note sitting on the dryer. It was addressed to Tammy from her husband. Her husband had left her to join the cult. That's why she hated the Peggies so much. Liz tried to think of coming across any man named Mark but couldn't recall.
"I'm sorry about your husband."
Her head perked up from the car battery. "Oh… um… thank you. I miss him a lot."
"I miss my parents."
"Yeah Eli told me what happened to them, that's a real shame. They were good folks. Good fighters too."
"Thanks."
What did she mean that her parents were good fighters? Did they fight for the Whitetails? Eli hadn't said anything about that. He only said that he helped them leave the county. There was more that Eli wasn't telling her. She needed to find out but not right now. She already had enough trouble trying to get answers from Jacob. Eventually though, she would find out everything. She didn't care what she had to do to figure it out. Right now, she just needed to keep her cool. She needed to wait for her moment if something came up because she would only get one shot to save herself.
She finished up folding the laundry. She folded a few pairs of what she assumed to be Sharky's 'semi-clean' underwear that he likes to keep in his pocket. Why he kept underwear in his pocket was beyond her. She just really needed to wash her hands after this whole ordeal.
She gathered the basket in her arms and made her way to the door. Her hand rested on the doorknob. "Oh, and Tammy. I know I haven't been playing nice with the Whitetails, but I'm not your enemy. I don't believe in what the Peggies do. I'm just someone looking to survive. I don't care how I do it."
She hadn't meant for her message to come off as a threat. Tammy didn't seem afraid by it though. It looked more like she respected it. Like they were one in the same mindset.
"I know. As long that aligns with the Whitetails, we don't have a problem. See you around girl." Tammy gave her a small smile.
She left with a newfound sense of understanding. Tammy wasn't all that bad. They both just wanted to make it through this shitty war. They were both survivors. The day may come where they had to step on each other to make it out on top. But for right now, they were okay. She placed the headphones back in her ears and carried the basket down the hall. She set it down on the table in the kitchen. There wasn't a chance in hell that she was sorting through it for everyone.
Liz was done with her work. She had promised a call back. A big part of her didn't want to live up to that promise. But if she didn't, he would find ways to harass her. He always did. She put her bat and iPod back by her bed. She made a quick look around before climbing the emergency exit to the bunker.
When she got outside, it was later in the day than she had thought. The sun was about to dip below the horizon. Her busy work had burned up most of the day. Jacob may not be still waiting for her.
She probably shouldn't have been so open to talking to him in the Wolf's Den. It had only been pure luck that Eli hadn't walked in on her. She needed to talk to him somewhere that no one would hear them. The peak at the top above the Wolf's Den would work. The climb looked daunting, but nothing she couldn't handle.
She vaulted over a ledge and slowly made her descent. Her hands gripped around each layer of rocks that stood in her way. Her breathing became labored by the time she made it to the top. There was a log laid out across to the peak of the mountain. She slowly put one foot in front of the other and scurried across.
The view from the top of the mountain was absolutely gorgeous. She could see for miles in several directions. This would also be a good spot for a sniper. They would be able to kill anyone down below, while staying behind cover. Jacob would like this spot…
She sat down and leaned back against the rocks. She grabbed her radio. No better time to do this now than the present.
"Whitetail's armory is all organized, thanks to yours truly."
Part of her didn't expect him to respond. She had been absent for most of the day and she had helped burn down most of his camp. Her hand gripped the radio in anticipation. The other part of her would be disappointed if he didn't respond. What was wrong with her?
When static came through the radio, her heartbeat quickened. "Surprised it took you so long. What's in there, like six guns?"
"Actually there's…" She stopped herself when she realized where this was headed. She wasn't going to reveal any more information about the Whitetails. "Nope. You're slick but I'm not going to screw up again."
"You sure about that little lamb? Because you've done a great job so far. I wonder what else you'll tell me."
She rolled her eyes. "My lips are sealed. And besides… I don't think you'd want to hear about my riveting experience of counting bullets."
"No, I don't. Anytime you're sick of it, you know where to find me. I'd have you doing so much more important things for me."
She had somewhat an idea of what those things would be. That was never going to happen, not ever. And besides, if she went back to him willingly it wouldn't end well. He would get bored with her after and while and then throw her away. She'd drown in the sand.
"It's not the work at the Veteran's Center I had a problem with. It was the leadership." Her tone darkened and the smile faded from her face. She clutched her legs to her chest. Her hand began to shake slightly. The rock behind her didn't do anything to give her stability.
"So, you just hate my guts. Is that it?"
Her grip tightened around the radio. "You hurt me."
Before all of this she had been normal. She went to school, had friends, and lived a perfectly posh life. Now she was a liar, a murder, and a psychopath. All of it was a result from meeting Jacob Seed.
"I made you strong."
Her mouth hung open. "Strong? You broke me."
"You are stronger than you were before. Those cowards may not see that, but I do. You shouldn't be with them." His tone was soft, and almost endearing. Like maybe he meant it.
Liz let her knees rest on her chin. She didn't know how the hell to respond to that. She stared out at the horizon. The last rays of the sun were slowly disappearing. She didn't know what to do anymore. Being with the Whitetails was slowly becoming better but it was far from perfect.
It always boiled down to options. If she didn't have options, there was no survival. Her first option was to stay with Eli and the Whitetails. The second was to go back to Jacob. Neither one seemed better than the other.
"Ya' know…. Sometimes I wish you killed me already. Because then… I wouldn't have to live with all this shit…"
Tears formed in her eyes. She didn't want to cry anymore. Crying made her weak. But as much as she fought it, tears found their way down her cheeks. That night when he took her to his bunker, she had been ready to die. She had welcomed a peaceful death and she had been robbed of it.
"Because what do I have to live for? Everyone thinks I'm some crazy cultist. My parents are dead! My brother too! All I have is a beaten down uncle who can't stand me."
Liz truly had no one right now. Dep and Sharky were nice to her, but they weren't close with her. They were just doing their best to include her. There was no one left who truly loved her for who she was. Her family had been the only ones and they were all gone.
A sob made its way past her lips. He definitely heard that. Shit. Now would come the scolding of how she was weak. That crying girls didn't have a place in his army. She waited a minute for his response, but it never came. She decided to ask him something else.
"Did you kill my family, Jacob?"
That was the question that she had been sitting on for quite some time. Her first time in the cage, he said that her family escaped. That story was corroborated by Eli, but everything about it didn't make sense.
He scoffed. "Is that what Eli's been telling you? Is that why you hate me so much? Let me make this clear. I didn't kill your parents and neither did my men. Eli's filling your head with lies."
"But you were going to kill them. Right?"
"Yeah."
She sighed. Anytime she came to somewhat of an understanding with him, he always showed his true colors. "What the hell is wrong with you? Do you just want to destroy everything? I just don't understand."
Jacob's philosophy was screwed up in every sense of the word. He'd probably killed more people than he could count. Anywhere he went, death and destruction followed.
"I don't like what I do. It's something that I have to do."
"Oh, that's bullshit, and you know it! You love what you do! I could see it on your face every time you hurt someone. Killing is the only thing that makes you happy." Her voice cracked with every word due to her crying. She did her best to take deep breaths to calm herself down.
"And you don't enjoy it?"
"What?"
He sighed. "You don't enjoy having power over someone for once? To know that it doesn't matter how much they look down on you because you could end their life in an instant. To make them pay… to make them suffer…"
All her life she had wanted to prove that she was something special, something important. To show everyone that she wasn't a child. She always swore to herself that the day would come that people wouldn't see her like that anymore.
She thought back to all the people she's killed. The man she kicked over the edge, the people she killed during her conditioning, and Andrea. She could still perfectly see the life draining from Andrea's eyes. It had felt really good to hold power over that women. She had manipulated her and then killed her for no reason. But it had only felt good for a moment. After that moment, came the guilt. And the guilt stayed inside her much longer than the power.
"No. I don't enjoy killing others. I just keep having to do it."
Jacob had said once that her purpose had been to survive and his was to die. She wished for nothing more than for it to be the opposite. She wasn't sure if she wanted to live anymore. She was just a tool, and she didn't want to be used anymore.
"I-I… don't even know why I bother talking to you. I thought you would tell me about what happened to my parents, but no one wants to tell me the truth. Somebody's lying to me, you or Eli. I'll find out eventually…" More tears fell down her face.
"It's not me little lamb. If I knew I would have told you."
"Whatever just forget it Jacob. Leave me alone." She sobbed into the radio.
"Li…"
She clicked the radio off, not bothering to hear what he had to say. He didn't have the answers she was looking for. Anytime she talked to him she just got upset. Maybe one day she would learn but that day didn't seem like today. She clipped her radio to her belt and curled into a tighter ball.
It was nighttime now. The stars were just beginning to come out. She leaned her head back to stare at them. It wasn't her last day in Hope County, but it was nice. It was just her and the stars. No one up here could hurt her.
Right now, she was stuck with the Whitetails. Dep and Sharky would probably be back soon if they weren't already. She needed to go back down, but she just wanted to sit there. The stars were the only thing that gave her peace.
As Liz sat on the rocks, she got her last nice moment in Hope County. There was no going back. Now there was only forwards. Tomorrow a new day was breaking, and she was going to turn it around.