The Secret Diary of Cameron Baum

SATURDAY

I make the short walk to Paige Bartlett's house. It is a hot and sunny day so I am dressed appropriately: mirror shades, faded jeans and my thinnest halter top worn without a bra underneath. I have dialed back my nipples to their lowest setting. No one wants to see pokies.

Paige herself answers my knock on the door. She too is dressed for the heat: bikini top, denim shorts, thong sandals, and a pair of round black sunglasses that make her eyes seem buglike. "Hey, stranger," she says in greeting. "Where you been hiding lately?"

She doesn't mean this literally. It is several weeks since I hung with this particular homey. She probably misses my warm and friendly personality.

"We're out by the pool trying to cool off," Paige says inviting me inside.

"We?"

"Sookie and me. The guys are coming over later."

The guys being Spencer, Paige's boyfriend, and Marcus, Spencer's best friend and previous boyfriend of Sookie, who is Paige's best friend. It's like walking into a soap opera.

We walk through the house and out onto the flagged sun terrace that surrounds the pool. Sookie is stretched out on a towel beside the pool. She is a slim asian girl in a pink bikini with delicate facial features and doll-like hands and feet. She too is wearing large round sunglasses that give her a buglike appearence. It must be the latest fashion. You can keep it.

"Hey, Sooks. You remember Cameron, right?"

"Not really," Sookie replies propping herself up on her elbows and giving me the once over.

"Sure you do. We met her the night we tried to crash the Viper Room."

"Oh yeah. When Kevin drove us in his father's hearse. That was hilarious!"

"It wasn't hilarious. It was creepy and disturbing. It's a miracle I'm not in therapy."

"Nice to see you again."

"And you."

"Cameron teaches languages at the community college. Go on, ask her how many languages she speaks."

"How many languages do you speak?"

"All of them." Smug much? Maybe a tad.

"Yeah? Can you speak mandarin?" Sookie asks in mandarin.

"Yes, I speak mandarin very well, " I reply in kind.

"Impressive. You should come work at Prada."

"Sookie works part-time at the Prada store in Beverly Hills," Paige explains. "She gets a forty percent employee discount, the lucky cow."

"They needed someone who spoke fluent mandarin. A bunch of rich chinese fly over every month and buy up shit."

Buy up shit? Oh my, don't they have enough of that in China?

Paige kicks off her sandals and sits on the edge of the pool, dangling her feet in the water. "Can you believe this heat? We don't normally use the pool until March. Must be global warming."

"If this is global warming then bring it on," Sookie says stretching out langorously on her towel.

"You won't say that when the poles melt and the crops fail and we all starve to death. Or maybe you will; you barely eat anything as it is."

"I'm on a strict no carbs no protein diet."

"What does that leave?"

"Alcohol, sweetie."

"Booze is loaded with carbs."

"Yeah, but I'm usually too buzzed to care."

The french windows open and Spencer walks out. "Now that's what I like to see," he grins. "Three beautiful girls wearing very little clothing."

"You should've swung by earlier," Paige smirks. "We were all naked and making out."

"Paige, please don't say things like that. You'll make my head explode."

"Just your head?"

"Those too. Hey, Sooks, Marcus is with me. That gonna be okay?"

"Why wouldn't it be okay?"

"You know, with you two splitting and all."

"Relax. It'll be fine. Marcus is like a little puppy dog around me."

Moments later Marcus emerges from the house, holding his hand up to shield his eyes from the glare. He is a smaller version of Spencer, the same floppy hair, tee shirt and jeans. He is less brash and seems more sensitive than his friend.

"Hey, everyone. Oh - hi, Sookie."

"Marcus, be a lamb and rub some lotion on my back. I think I'm starting to burn."

"Uh - okay."

Marcus kneels to his task. Sookie looks at us and mouths, 'Good doggie'. Paige has to turn away to stifle her laughter.

Spencer peels off his shirt revealing a toned upper body typical for a Californian teenager. No scars of war or signs of malnutrition. Give it time...

"Man, it's hot. Got anything to drink?"

"There's Diet Coke in the cooler."

"Screw Diet coke. Got any hooch?"

"Shush! Daddy's home. He doesn't know I drink."

"Nor do mine," says Sookie. "And they think I'm a virgin. I tell them I'm saving it for my wedding day."

Everyone laughs. It's funny because she's such an alleycat.

"Have you visited Inglewood lately?" I ask Paige. She's a proto-jounalist and has been seeking an interview with Joe Lisicki, the only witness to a double homicide that was my doing, and who I paid to take a long vacation.

"Ugh! Don't mention Inglewood. That jerk Lisicki's never home. I think he's done a runner. And the last time I was there I got mugged."

"You did? You never told me," says Spencer.

"What's to tell? Some creep snatched my purse and ran off."

"Did you go to the police?"

"No point. Never got a look at the creep. Black. White. No clue."

"The purse wasn't the Prada I got you, was it?" Sookie asks.

"No. A Chanel knockoff we got in that flea market in Van Nuys. Lost my iPhone though. Lucky it's insured."

Spencer says, "Your phone? You have remote locking, right? You can erase your data?"

"I guess. Why?"

"Remember those pictures I sent you?"

"What pictures?

"Those private pictures..."

"He means the nude selfies he sent you," Sookie laughs.

"You've seen them?"

"Sure. BFF's show each other everything."

"Oh my God. You didn't show them to anyone else?"

"I let Debbie Winkelman have a peek."

"Her father works in the mayor's office! What did she say?"

"She said it looks like a penis only smaller."

"That's a relief. I thought-Wait a second!"

Again, everyone laughs except Spencer whose face reddens. "You had no right to show personal private pictures to other people."

"Hypocrite! When Jennifer Lawrence had her phone hacked you couldn't wait to download her pictures. I couldn't get hold of you for days."

"That's different. She's a hot movie star and I really wanted to see her naked."

More laughter. Nude selfies? Now why didn't I think of that...

The french windows open and Doug Bartlett, Paige's father, steps out. "Well, someoneseems to be enjoying themselves. What's so funny?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all," Marcus insists.

"Oh hello, Cameron. I've just been on the phone to your mother. I'm afraid I've had to cancel our run. The clinic called. Mrs Nussbaum has lost a crown and has some kind of Gala dinner tonight and insists I have to be the one who fixes it."

"But it's your day off, Daddy. Tell the old broad to take a hike."

"Paige, dear, you do not tell your wealthiest client to take a hike. Instead you charge her double the usual treatment fee for ruining your day off."

"Way to go, sir. You gouge her good. Uh - not literally, of course. You're a dentist and that'd be horrific."

"I know what you mean, Spencer. Thank you. So I'll be gone the rest of the day. You kids be good. Oh and Paige, keep away from the drinks cabinet. The last time you went out I'm sure I smelt alcohol on your breath. You're seventeen and underage."

When he's gone Sookie says, "Oooh - so busted!"

"Drink vodka shots and suck on a breath mint," Spencer suggests. "Fools the olds every time."

"You guys are gonna wreck your livers before you're twentyone," Marcus grins.

"Don't play the innocent, Marco. I've seen you knocking back the beers."

"Sure, beers. Beer won't mess you up like hard liquor."

"Your Dad's kinda cool for an old," Sookie comments. "Did you see the jacket he was wearing? Hugo Boss."

"I chose it for him. He wouldn't buy designer otherwise. He's happy in jogging pants."

"Is he still boffing that runner?"

"That's Cameron's mom."

"Oh. Sorry."

"And Daddy doesn't boff anybody. He has deep and meaningful relationships I try very hard not to think about."

"Yeah. Olds doing it is kinda gross," Spencer agrees. "Imagine Skeletor boning Madam Mim."

"Hello? Trying very hard not to think about it. And that's not helping."

"Your Dad is kinda handsome for an old," Sookie observes. "And it helps that he's loaded."

"Daddy's not loaded!"

"Puh-leese. You live in a palace. How many bedrooms - eight?"

"Nine. But it doesn't make us loaded."

"As you decree, your majesty."

Paige splashs water at Sookie who squeals and tries to cover up. Difficult if all you're wearing is an itty-bitty bikini.

"Please stop, your majesty! I'll be a good little immigrant girl, honest I will. Mercy for the poor huddled masses!"

Everyone laughs. I join in. Class segregation and the oppression of the masses. Hilarious!

Paige's cell rings. She has the same ringtone I do. Shake It Off. Taylor Swift.

Players gonna play play play play play

Haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate

I'm just gonna shake shake shake shake shake

Wise words. Taylor is such a great poet. Like Shakespeare only with tighter buns.

"It's Isabel at the Times. I gotta take this. Might be important."

"Maybe you're being promoted?"

"Or canned."

"Or up for a Pulitzer."

"Or they're moving you to the Sports section."

"Ooh, get us free tickets to the Knicks."

"No, the Lakers. The Knicks suck."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Will you idiots shut the hell up. I can't hear what she's saying."

Paige turns her back on us and walks a few feet away to take the call. Then she turns around and says, "Isabel said to switch on the TV. There's a local news story that's breaking big."

We head indoors. Sookie walks in front of me and I note I am a full head taller. She really is very doll-like. I feel I could pick her up, put her in my pocket and take her home. I won't, of course. No. She is far too pretty and sexually rapacious to have around the house. Plus Snowy doesn't like asian food. I think his stomach might be racist.

In the large living room Spencer heads for the drinks cabinet. "Right. Who wants what?" he asks rubbing his hands eagerly.

"Uh - Spencer, didn't you hear my father? We're busted."

"You're busted. The rest of us are pure as the driven snow."

"Speak for yourself," Sookie smirks.

"We'll get caught. He's probably marked the level on the bottles."

"So? We'll top it up with water. Honestly, Paige, you act like this my first time. Sookie - what's your poison?"

"Scotch. Rocks."

"Attagirl. Marcus?"

"Miller time!"

"Lightweight. Cameron?

I ponder for a moment. "WD 40. On the rocks," I add.

"Say again?"

"Private joke." That would kill at Skynet.

"O-kay. How about vodka and OJ? You seem like a Screwdriver kinda gal."

"More than you'll know."

Paige tunes the TV to CNN. There is indeed a breaking news story. A five year old girl and her mother have been kidnapped from a small town in California. It happened in broad daylight mere hours ago. The screen shows a reporter interviewing an old man, a town resident, who witnessed the whole thing.

"Big fella, he was. Built like a linebacker. Huge upper body. Showed up in a black panel van and kicked in the door of the house. Next thing I know he's carrying the little girl and her mother out, one under each arm, and throws 'em in the back of the van like they were used laundry. I yell at him, "Hey, what the hell you think you're doing?" He stares back at me and says, "Stay out of it, Dickwad." Had a foreign accent. German, maybe. Just drove off. Hell of a thing. That's when I called the cops."

The reporter turns to the camera. "The woman has been identified as Claire Young, longtime Palmdale resident. The child is her daughter, Alison Young. She is five years old. According to police sources no ransom demand has been received and the kidnapper remains at large and unidentified. Any person with information should call the toll-free number at the bottom of your screen. This is Kendra Wilson for CNN reporting live from Palmdale."

Alison Young

Palmdale

A T-800 class terminator has kidnapped Alison Young.

I stand up and walk out of the room, ignoring all questions. I walk out of the house, heading for home.

How long will it be home?

What happens if the T-800 kills Alison Young? Will I wink out of existence?

I hold my hand up in front of my face, flex the fingers. Will I realise it is happening? Will it be sudden or will I fade away like an old photograph left out in the sun?

And what will happen to John without me?

-0-

Part one of three. No, it's not the finale. Originally a two-parter but I'm still stuck in Palmdale!