Chapter 3 – Sixteen Months Ago

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Present Day

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It was with great reluctance that Chad woke up from what had to be the greatest sleep of his life.

Did all cats feel this rested? Or did his brain just adapt better to a cat body than a human one? Was it the company or the room or the bed? Chad didn't know, but he was willing to give his dumb cat body a point in the positives' column for that particular bout of beauty sleep. He twisted happily on Gil's chest, contented to feel that broad hand loosely move to brace him, and soaked in the steady beat of Gil's heart.

At least, until he heard a throat get cleared.

Chad cracked his eyes open to find Harry staring down at them with a look of amusement, something that only broadened when he noticed that Chad was awake.

"So you're the reason Gil was all squirrely," he noted with a smirk, settling on the edge of the bed so he could scratch behind Chad's ears. Chad would protest, but – ear scratches. Apparently, they were quite nice. "Figures. We get invited to a fancy party and he leaves with a cat."

"Harry…?" Gil's eyes blinked open slowly, taking in the other teen with a smile that was mostly out of it but a hundred percent heartfelt. "Hey, you're here."

"Yep." Harry grinned. "Just getting to know your new friend."

Gil's brows furrowed together for a moment before the implication of the words hit him, and that was all the warning Chad got before Gil launched himself into the sitting position, making Chad slide into his lap with a protesting meow.

"Hey, none of that now," Harry tutted, swiping Chad and settling him in his lap before Gil could continue panicking. "I'm not mad and Uma sure as hell isn't going to be."

Harry was touching him, petting him. Harry, the guy that had laughed at Chad and wore eyeliner and had a whole crew of people who were his friends and he kept touching Chad, rubbing his back all the way down to his tail – which translated to the upper curve of Chad's – you know, butt – but he was also scratching and careful and Chad was confused as to whether he should accept this attention or protest on principle.

"Where'd ye find him anyway?" Harry asked, oblivious to Chad's dilemma. He scratched something that made Chad roll onto his back before he could think about it, and then the guy was scratching Chad's stomach – a thing that did not happen.

"…in the garden," Gil said, still seeming a bit wary but reaching out to scratch Chad nonetheless, until there were two calloused, giant hands caressing him that somehow translated into a basic cat massage. "I um… was getting some air and he found me, so I brought him here and we watched a movie."

Before he could say anything else, Uma strolled into the room, wearing an oversized Auradon dressing robe that was likely intended for Harry. She paused when she drew closer to the bed, then let a smile spread across her face, the slight teen settling in next to Harry as she scratched behind Chad's ears.

Because he was a cat. Because he was a cat.

"So this was what all the hubbub was about, huh?" she asked – and Chad was grateful she'd gone for his head because he wasn't sure he could handle much more touching. It was overwhelming to have most of his body being doted on in some way, to the point where he would likely start shivering if he wasn't purring instead. "Gil-"

"Please don't make me send him away," Gil pressed, worry clear in his tone. "His name is Shadow and he's really smart-"

"Gil," Uma interrupted more pointedly. "I was going to ask if you'd fed him."

There was a slight pause before realization flashed across Gil's face. "Oh no," he said – literally said, batting Harry and Uma's hands away so he could scoop Chad up and hold him close. "Sorry. I was supposed to sneak down and get him something after our movie."

"Gil, sweetheart, it's fine," Uma soothed, running a hand through Gil's loose curls. She was so nice to him. Of course she was, it was Gil, but- "We'll just feed him now."

"It's not fine," Gil sniffed, on his way to getting truly worked up. "I'm supposed to take care of him, and I forgot."

"Because you are human." She said it kindly, with a gentle certainty that made Chad feel a bit listless, as he hadn't been offered anything like it since- well, since the last time he'd forced that obligation on someone, which hadn't been fair, but they'd helped regardless. "But now Harry and I will help you, okay? And we'll all take care of Shadow, like a team."

"Any idea if the Auradon fuddy duddies will let us keep 'im?" Harry asked, slouching against Gil's shoulder so he could watch Chad receive careful pets.

"Doesn't matter," Uma scoffed with a roll of her eyes. "We're not asking. Now, go contact that butler Ben told us about and ask for a can of tuna and a can opener. If he asks, we want a pre-breakfast snack. Imply that it's like, an Isle delicacy or whatever – they always get weird when we mention that shit."

"You got it, Captain," Harry said with a lazy salute, and then he pressed a kiss to Gil's cheek, as easy as that, before tickling under Chad's chin and vacating the bed altogether.

"So… I can keep him?" Gil pressed, desperate for clarification that he could hold onto.

Chad could sympathize.

Uma hummed. "He's part of the crew now, isn't he? And crew stays together."

"Right." Gil grinned, hugging Chad close.

Chad didn't mind even though he hadn't done anything and yet he was crew, he was a part of something and-

And if that didn't get him love, he didn't know what did.

-:-:-:-:-:-

Due to a systematic and random loss and gain of privileges at his grandfather's hand, Chad was accustomed to eating room temperature canned food. Was it the greatest thing in the world? No, but he would take cool canned stew over nothing any day, so he'd learned to live with it.

That said, the can of tuna that was offered to him appealed to his cat senses so strongly that it may as well have been a seven-course feast. The smell of fish seemed to caress his nostrils in a delightful wave that left his mouth watering, until he descended upon the tuna-y goodness with less grace than intended. Not that Gil or the others seemed to care, Gil content to crouch beside Chad and scratch the top of his head while he gobbled down chunks of tuna, trying not to overwhelm himself with the delicious flavor. Wow, few things tasted this good as a human. The chocolate chip cookies they sometimes served in the school dining hall seemed close – not that Chad was allowed to have them. But when he could, they were sort of like this.

Uma chuckled. "Hungry fellow, aren't you?"

"Sorry, Shadow," Gil apologized, yet again. "I'm sorry I forgot."

As he had ever other time he apologized, Chad pulled away from his meal to nuzzle against Gil's hand, doing his best to let the blond know it was okay. Maybe if he did it enough times, Gil would finally believe him.

And also love him. That was important.

"Huh," Harry mused. "He's a good little cat, isn't he?"

"Good choice of crewmate," Uma declared, saying those magic words that made Chad feel all warm again. It was only because she didn't know who he was, but still. "Maybe we can ask princess to make him a bandana or something-"

Further conversation was interrupted by a knock on the door, all three of the pirates turning to face the front of the suite.

"Good morning," Queen Belle chirped, her voice carrying through the door. It was weird to be addressed by the former queen, though likely weirder for Uma's crew, who shared concerned looks with each other before turning back towards the door. "Are you three awake? I'd like to speak with you."

Speak with them, as in, she was requesting an audience and they couldn't very well say no-

Before Chad could think about it, he tilted his head down and started pushing his can of tuna until he was safely under a couch, curling up around his prize and hoping the shadows would hide him.

"Um…" Uma cleared her throat. "Yeah, we're up you're uh… ladyship."

There was a beat before Chad heard the door open, Duchess Belle gliding into the space on silent footsteps and what was likely perfect posture.

"What can we do for you?" Uma asked, adopting a confident swagger to deal with an unknown situation.

"It's more like what can I do for you," the duchess laughed. "Cogsworth told me about your request for tuna."

Chad could feel Uma tense, saw Gil's feet shift uneasily. "Right," the captain said. "It's a delicacy."

"I don't doubt that," the queen hummed. "But I was wondering if this had anything to do with the stray cat Princess Audrey caught sight of yesterday." There was a pause where no one said anything. "Because if it was, I have this collar ready for it." There was another beat where she must have held up the referenced collar. "This will let the servants know that your new friend is also a guest, and will grant them access to the castle without having to worry about being disturbed." There was a jingle of jewelry where she must have lowered her hand. "I can get you some other supplies too, assuming you need them."

Uma let out a low sigh. "And if we did need them?"

"I'll make the arrangements with Cogsworth," the duchess chirped. "Is there a name for our guest? We can get tags made."

"…Shadow," Gil said after a moment's hesitation. "His name's Shadow."

"Shadow, then." It sounded like Duchess Belle was grinning, which was always a comforting thing. Chad had always liked it, when he saw her on the newscasts. He always wondered if his mother would have smiled like that. "That's a lovely name, dear. We'll have a place set for Shadow when you three are ready for breakfast." Another clink of jewelry, and she must have passed over the collar. "That's all I wanted to talk to you about. I'll just get out of your hair, captain." Another beat where she may have nodded to the others. "Gilbert. Harrison."

"Thanks, um- your ladyship," Gil mumbled, seeming overwhelmed.

"Think nothing of it, sweetie," the duchess assured him, and with that, the door open and closed once more, leaving them alone again.

Chad got to work pushing his tuna back out into the open while Uma hummed. "Figures the collar would be blue and yellow."

"It's a very nice color scheme," Gil offered, crossing to Chad with heavy footsteps. He had the aforementioned collar dangling from one finger as he crouched back down next to Chad, the small length of material matching Auradon's colors, just like Uma said.

"Guess we don't have to keep him a secret, then," Harry mused, seeming content to watch Gil fumble to try and adjust the small collar. It took him a few tries, but eventually he managed it. Chad thought he would feel more strangled getting a collar, but the weight was actually sort of nice, and it did make him look a little less naked.

It also marked him as owned. Owned, like a pet would be – cherished and on his way to being loved.

Things really were going well.

-:-:-:-:-:-

There was a chance that the amount of tuna in the can was far more than his tiny cat stomach could handle, but Chad ended up licking the thing clean anyway. He was happy to surrender to a tuna coma, Harry picking him up with a few chuckles while Gil threw away the trash.

Chad was only distantly aware of being placed on a bed, he was so happy and sated and full (how long had it been since that happened? Being a cat was awesome). It took him a few blinks to realize this wasn't Gil's bed – but Uma and Harry's, the two of them moving around each other as they got ready for the day. It wasn't long before Gil bounded into the room, throwing himself down beside Chad with a smile before sliding Chad onto his chest, which was slowly becoming the prince's favorite place to be. There was something nice about that constant body warmth, about Gil's heart beneath his ear and the gentle rise and fall of his chest.

"Come on," Uma said eventually, catching Gil's attention. "Now it's our turn to go to breakfast."

"Ugh," Harry groaned, throwing his head back in an exaggerated display of unhappiness. "Do we have to?"

"Don't act like you don't want to be there," Uma chided, smacking the first mate's arm while Gil slid off the bed, Chad cradled against his chest. "As though you'd miss a chance to make goo-goo eyes at Mal and the king."

"True, but Jay's gonna be there," Harry groaned again. "Checking ye and Gilly out like he's got the right."

Uma hummed. "If this thing's going to work, you're gonna have to learn to share, Hook."

"What's the 'thing'?" Gil asked, voicing the question Chad had wanted to ask himself. It might be the tuna swaying his perception, but Gil didn't seem to know what the other two were talking about.

Harry waved him off with a smirk. "Nothing ye have to worry about yet, Gil. If something does happen, they'll have to work for it. A lot."

"Typical Hook," Uma said, rolling her eyes. "Playing hard to get."

For whatever reason, that made Harry puff up with pride. "I know my worth."

They continued to trade easy conversation as they exited their suite, walking through the halls of the castle in a gathered clump. It only took them a few minutes to get to a small, private dining room, where Mal, Jay, and Ben where gathered near the floor-to-ceiling windows. There was no sign of Carlos or Evie, which was weird. Usually those four stuck together.

Ben was the first to speak up. "Good morning, Uma." He dipped his head in a slight greeting towards each of them. "Harry. Gil. Did you sleep…" It was about then that he registered the cat curled up in Gil's arms. "…well?"

"Is that a cat?" Mal asked before they had a chance to respond. She moved before either Jay or Ben could think to do so, drawing close to Gil so she could inspect Chad more closely. "I didn't know you had a pet."

"He didn't," Uma replied, a faint smile on her face. "He found him yesterday."

"Huh," Jay mused. "That must be that cat that Audrey was freaking out over."

"That's what we've heard," Harry drawled. "Now enough yappin'; let's eat."

Mal rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. "Eloquent as always, Hook."

They settled down around the small table – round so there was equal space between them. Uma and Harry kept Gil between them as a defensive measure, probably, Chad staying curled in his lap (he was so full). Likewise, Jay and Mal kept Ben between them, with Jay sitting next to Uma and Mal next to Harry. It was a nice picture, one Chad knew he shouldn't be witnessing, but still- he had a curse to break. Sometimes that required him to eavesdrop on conversations he shouldn't.

"You seem uneasy," Uma noted sometime later, aiming the comment at Ben with a level of casual detachment that Chad knew for a fact was a lie.

Ben blinked up from his food, as though surprised to be singled out. "Oh, it's nothing," he assured her, turning his attention to back towards his breakfast. "I was expecting someone else to stay the night, but they never made it to the party."

"Was it that blond prince?" Uma asked, fingering the handle of her knife carefully. "The guy Audrey locked in the closet?"

Ben gave her another puzzled look. "Right. Prince Chad of Sardinia." He poked at his food. "I wanted to introduce him to you guys."

"Uh-huh," Uma mused, eyebrows lifted in a knowing expression Chad couldn't identify. "Anyone else you 'wanted' us to meet that was invited for a sleepover?"

"It was just him," Mal cut in with an unimpressed look.

Wait, this was it? This was the full extent of those Ben had invited to stay the summer? These guys and Chad? It made no sense.

"And don't worry about it, Ben," Mal continued. "Chad probably just got caught up like he usually does. He'll show up later today or tomorrow all apologetic and it will be fine."

"Blond guy blow ye off that much?" Harry asked.

For whatever reason, that seemed to ruffle Mal's feathers. Maybe it was the implication that anyone would ignore her. "Not on purpose," she insisted. "Chad just… gets absorbed in what he's doing sometimes. But he'll be here. He already RSVP'd."

"And as we all know," Uma began with a low chuckle. "An RSVP is a binding contract."

"It is to royalty," Mal sniffed, brushing a stray curl out of her face.

"Whatever," Uma muttered, rolling her eyes. "Let's focus on the people who are here. You invited us to stay over, so here we are. Now what?"

"Well…" Ben cleared his throat. "It's summer so… I thought we could enjoy this time together while we could-"

"Uh-huh," Uma said again, perhaps more pointedly.

She really did not mess around.

"-and work on some of the Isle reforms."

"Yes." Uma grinned, though this, at least, was less of a show of teeth. "I can get behind that."

"Thought you might," Mal drawled.

Chad noted that throughout the conversation, Jay didn't say anything, the other teen having fallen into a distracted sort of silence as he pushed his food around his plate.

Maybe he wasn't a morning person, or something. He certainly wasn't a cat person, so it seemed.

Whatever, that was his loss.

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Harry let out a scoff later that night, when they were walking the path back to their suite after a day of legislature (Ben, Mal, and Uma) and world discovery (Jay, Harry, and Gil) as they indulged in some downtime before dinner.

"A prince?" Harry laughed, running a lazy hand through his hair. "Benny-boy wanted to introduce us to a prince? Aside from him, what royal would be crazy enough to want in on this?"

"Probably didn't go into detail about what this visit entailed," Uma muttered with a roll of her eyes while Chad tried to ponder what exactly that meant. "You saw that dipshit – he was totally into Audrey."

"I feel kind of bad for him," Gil said, hugging Chad closer to his chest. "He was just trying to be a good crew member for her and she still didn't like him. It's like he was permanently banished."

"That's 'cuz princess pinkie is incapable of being happy with herself," Uma drawled lazily. "-so she took it out on him. But whatever, that's where he wanted to be, so it's a good thing he hasn't shown up yet."

"Maybe he won't come at all," Harry teased, not knowing how close those words were being true. "And then we can have nice even numbers for- you know."

"You're incorrigible, Hook," Uma sighed, flicking the back of his head.

"Even numbers for what?" Gil asked, perking up. "What are you talking about?"

"You'll see," Uma hummed, and Chad knew then and there that the conversation was over.

Which he was sort of glad for, because it had been a confusing one.

-:-:-:-:-:-

16 Months Ago

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"What are you doing for Cotillion?" Jay asked, leaning against Chad's Swords and Shields locker as though they were friends.

They were not friends, a fact Chad reminded himself of everyday, and yet there Jay was, throwing a wrench into the basic understanding of his existence.

"What aren't I doing for Cotillion?" Chad echoed back, using his favorite tactic of slightly modifying the original question into something rhetorical in a bid to buy himself some time. He wasn't sure why Jay was asking him this, or why he was talking to Chad at all. They didn't usually do that outside of the lessons Jay crashed for some reason.

And there was the familiar roll of Jay's eyes. "You know what I meant," he sighed, hiking his backpack higher up his shoulder. "Are you taking anyone?"

"Obviously I'm going to ask Audrey," Chad sniffed, not that it was any business of Jay's, who was likely making small talk because Carlos had missed practice and Jay needed someone to laugh at.

"…obviously," Jay repeated, his tone all weird and inflectionless. He proceeded to be even weirder by waiting for Chad to finish packing up before walking with him, a thing they rarely ever did. "Why do you like Audrey so much anyway?"

"Um, hello?" It was Chad's turn to be incredulous. "Because she's strong and pretty and thinks that I'm funny." The last one was a lie, but she was on her way to thinking Chad was funny, which sort of counted. "She is the super princess of my dreams and I want to have her babies."

Audrey was also one of the few individuals that had comforted Chad after the loss of his mother, that had offered her hand in friendship, and Chad had tried really hard not to ruin that relationship with his blatant adoration, but Audrey had always let him know that she hadn't minded his dedication, even if she couldn't necessarily return it. She still liked it when he gave her presents, though. And carried her books for her. And acted as her sounding board.

Chad did a lot for her in the hopes that one day her friend-feelings would evolve into boyfriend-feelings, and while it was totally okay if they never did, his dumb, stupid heart couldn't help but hope nonetheless.

Jay, because he was uncultured in the intricacies of love, scrunched his nose. "She isn't that great," he muttered, further proving his ignorance.

"Um- yes, she is," Chad countered. "And I'm going to ask her to Cotillion." And that would be that.

Jay let out an unreadable sound. "What if she says no?"

It was an innocent question, one Chad had asked himself many times, but that didn't stop his pulse from rocketing up to what seemed to be a hundred miles per hour, like it was determined to do him in. "You think she'd say no?"

Honestly, Chad thought she'd say no too, and if she did he would respect that, but he didn't really have any backup plans.

His dating pool was unfortunately limited.

Jay shrugged, kind of slow and drawn out. "Maybe," he said, which for Jay was kind of polite. "Do you have a plan in place for that?"

Jay knew very well Chad did not. Maybe that was why he was asking Chad all these questions. To expose him as a poor planner.

Well, Chad would prove him wrong. He could make plans on the fly. He was smart – sort of.

"Then I'll just go stag," he decided with a confident boast. "Like you. Dance with all the princesses."

They would say yes at least once out of good manners, and there were enough of them that Chad's dance card could stay safely filled for the evening and he could pretend he was popular and well-liked. Maybe he'd even pretend he was at his mother's first ball – he liked to do that sometimes. It was a nice daydream.

"About that," Jay said as they drew closer to the dorms. "I think I had the wrong plan after all."

Chad perked up. "You did?"

Despite being from the Isle, Jay seemed to have an inherent understanding of how social situations worked. He maneuvered public scenes with an ease Chad mostly had to force. If Jay thought he was wrong, then he was probably wrong.

"Yeah," Jay sighed, like it pained him to admit it. "I realized that going stag might signal me as a free operator, but it also lacks a distinct amount of commitment." He paused, as though waiting for Chad to cut in, and when he didn't, he took pity on the blond and explained, "Girls like commitment."

Chad flushed. "I knew that."

He did not know that. He'd theorized that, but most of his theories focused on Audrey and Audrey alone. He called it prioritizing.

"Right." Jay nodded. "Girls also like what they can't have. It creates an air of excitement and desire, so…" He trailed off, waiting for Chad again, and then continued with another sigh. "I've decided I'm taking a date," Jay explained. "Which will make all the other students jealous and prove that I can honor a commitment, making me good boyfriend material."

"That makes sense," Chad said finally, hoping to make up for his earlier silence. "Who are you taking?"

"Here's the thing," Jay said, indicating that they were likely going down another rabbit hole. "Whoever I take has to be unique so I don't make any of the other students feel bad – like, I can't ask a princess because then all the other princesses will wonder why they weren't good enough."

"…that's fair," Chad murmured, wondering exactly how many princesses liked Jay. Was it a lot? It sounded like a lot.

"And then I thought," Jay continued. "-there's a way to avoid hurting anyone's feelings while helping out someone else."

"Oooookay?" Chad was lost again. But really, when wasn't he? "Is there a point to this?"

"Let me be your backup plan," Jay said, so clearly and surely and not jokingly that Chad missed his next step and found a way to trip over his own feet, falling to the ground in a graceless tumble of limbs.

Or, he would have, if Jay had not caught him. Because on top of being athletic and talented and team captain, he also had killer reflexes. Ugh.

"Are you okay?" Jay asked, helping Chad back onto his feet with furrowed brows. He was even concerned. "Did you get hurt at practice? I already said you have to report this stuff as soon as it happens-"

"I'm fine," Chad insisted with a flush, refusing to take that particular lecture from the supreme master of grin-and-bear-it. Besides, if Chad ever reported to the infirmary because of a sports injury, he would be off the team so fast and in yet another private study hall his head would spin. "And why do you want to be my backup plan?"

Jay gave him an odd look. "I already told you – this could help both of us. It shows that we're committed, that we're sensitive, because we're taking each other, and thereby super boyfriend material. Why-" He leaned closer just as Chad was about to declare full and total bologna. "I bet it would make Audrey see you in a new, dateable light, even."

That got Chad's attention.

"Really?" It seemed too good to be true, but Jay seemed so sure. And it wasn't like he would willingly throw his lot in with Chad's if it didn't benefit him in some way.

It was strange to have Jay be this generous for Chad, who had been a notable fiend to both Jay and his friends when they had first arrived, and the ease with which it was offered was something Chad found suspect, but…

They could both win. And Chad liked winning. It didn't happen for him often.

Jay offered him a smile that seemed smaller than the ones he shared with Mal. "Yep," he chirped. "Once she sees that you can be committed, there's no way she won't reevaluate you. And people always want what they can't have. In fact…" Jay seemed to straighten up. "I could even date you beyond Cotillion."

"What?" Chad felt a furious rush of heat flood his cheeks. "You mean like regular dates and- but we're both guys."

"Guys can date," Jay said blithely, which might be true but princes did not date other princes because they had family lines to secure. "Stop freaking out, it wouldn't be a real date. See, your problem is that Audrey hasn't seen you in action as a boyfriend yet." Because Chad didn't date. He flirted like crazy, likely misread signals and then overthought all of his actions until he eventually asked out no one. It was a gift. "If she saw what you were capable of-"

"As your boyfriend?' Chad felt… very overwhelmed. First it had been a date, and then dates, and now boyfriends?

"Exactly." Jay snapped his fingers as though he'd hit the nail on the head, like they were saying things that were entirely reasonable. "She sees your moves, thinks – 'Hey, I want that for myself' and then you've got it made." When he put it like that, it did seem easy. "And you get the bonus of actually practicing to be a better boyfriend – assuming you need such things."

They both knew Chad did, but the blond appreciated the fact that Jay didn't rub it in his face.

"So?" Jay pressed, leaning into Chad's space. "What do you think?"

Chad considered his options, but…

Well, his grandfather said that desperation was an undesirable quality in any partner. Maybe if Chad didn't ask Audrey to Cotillion, she would realize he was capable of moving on, and that would create a need for her to draw him close. And Chad really wanted to be close to Audrey.

It was a no brainer.

"Okay." Chad nodded, already considering his future. "I'll fake-date you."

"Except when we mention it to other people, we'll just be dating."

"Of course." Chad shot Jay an unappreciative look. He wasn't that stupid.

Jay's shoulder slumped, likely relieved that Chad was able to piece together some of the dots by himself.

It had to happen at some point.

"Great." Jay smiled, one of the soft ones he usually reserved for Evie. "I'll text you with the details, okay? If we want this to work, it has to look natural."

"It will work," Chad declared, because sometimes if he was confident and believed something stubbornly enough, it would come true.

Not often, but sometimes.

Jay's smile broadened. "Then we don't have anything to worry about, do we?" he said, and that was that.

-:-:-:-:-:-

"What are you doing, Chad?" Audrey snarled in a whirlwind of ferocity Chad wasn't used to seeing, the blond stepping back against the obvious onslaught of her fury.

Chad blinked dumbly at his locker. "…getting my books?"

Audrey let out a displeased hiss that indicated this was not the correct response. "What are you doing with Jay?" she clarified, making the pieces all fall together.

Oh. Huh.

For a moment, Chad couldn't believe that Jay was right. The other teen had told Chad that they'd get Audrey's attention, Chad just hadn't expected it to work so effectively. Nothing else he had done had worked before.

Chad cleared his throat carefully, trying to keep it casual by dumping the last of his books into his backpack before shutting his locker in what he hoped was an effortless sort of cool that Jay managed just by breathing. "I'm dating him."

There was a distinct pause.

"You're dating him?" Audrey echoed. She seemed displeased at the very notion – because that meant Chad was off the market. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Alright, he had to keep it together, he couldn't mess this up just because he'd gotten eager and jumped the gun. "Why?"

"Um…" Shit, he and Jay hadn't actually covered this. For whatever reason, no one had really asked Chad why he was dating Jay – which would have been suspect were Chad one for small talk but he wasn't, so it was actually perfectly normal. "He's funny," Chad settled on, because that was true enough. "And um… dedicated." Because how else would he have been named team captain? "…and good looking and also he likes me."

The last was a lie, which was why Chad rushed through it, but Audrey didn't seem surprised by this fact.

Wow, Jay must be a super good actor. Maybe they both were.

Instead of saying anything tangentially expectable, Audrey replied next with, "You noticed that?"

Noticed… what? That Jay was attractive? Chad had eyes; it wasn't like he'd miss that.

Because he was above such things, Chad chose not to respond, re-shouldering his backpack so he could get back to his dorm room and do his homework. If he was quick about it, he'd only have his private studies left for after his practice session with Jay.

"I can't believe this," Audrey muttered, staring off into the distance. "I can't believe you'd stoop to dating him."

"I don't know why you care, Audrey," Chad sniffed the way Mal taught him to, making a show of examining his nails even though Audrey wasn't looking at him. "As long as we both respect each other and everyone's having fun, it's none of your business."

Chad's heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest, but he'd practiced Mal's dialogue enough times that it came out sounding natural instead of strangled, which was how he felt.

Audrey let out another sound of anger. "Don't you know how this looks?" she hissed. "I'm surprised your grandfather hasn't given you shit for this."

"You'll be surprised to know my grandfather doesn't care," Chad lied through his teeth, because the duke cared very much. Chad had been dodging his calls and messages for weeks now, and Chad knew it was only a matter of time before he woke up locked in a trunk or small closet until he felt more inclined to act like the prince he was. Chad was pretty sure the duke wouldn't buy that this was all for Audrey, even though it was.

Audrey growled. Like, not a Ben growl, but a cute one, like a tiny chihuahua trying to be tough. "Sure, he doesn't," she said, and Chad couldn't tell if it was foreboding or if she was just trying to make a recovery. "And you're right, I don't care. You can date whoever you want."

"Great," Chad replied. "I am."

Please don't call the bluff, please don't call the bluff, please don't call the bluff.

Audrey did not call the bluff. Instead she threw up her hands in surrender and stomped away, glaring at anyone who drew close to her.

Because she knew Chad was off the market.

Because she liked him too.

Things were finally looking up. Now he just needed to talk to Mal and Jay about the next part of their strategy. He couldn't wait to see what they had planned next.

-:-:-:-:-:-

Fake dating Jay was actually sort of nice.

Which completely boggled Chad's mind because like, just hanging around Jay generally wasn't nice – it was intimidating and anxiety inducing and always made Chad want to apologize even though he tried really hard to pretend he was fine because maybe if he did that enough, he would be.

So, Chad hadn't expected much from being Jay's boyfriend. He hadn't really thought the other teen would put that much effort into it, but-

Boy was he wrong.

Because as soon as he'd agreed he'd gained what seemed to be a second shadow. Jay walked Chad to most of his classes, sometimes carrying Chad's books for him (the ones he couldn't fit in his backpack) under one arm while using his free hand to hold Chad's. Jay was- he held Chad's hand, and it didn't even feel weird. He didn't even seem ashamed to do it, which Chad had been expecting, but like- he supposed that made sense because this was Jay's plan anyway.

They would walk together and instead of Chad studying during lunch all alone, Jay would drag Chad to his table, settling the prince between himself and Mal, who always had like, an extra cookie for him that she slid onto his tray, as though she somehow knew about the secret strict diet his grandfather had the chefs enforce upon Chad. And sometimes Jay would wrap an arm around his waist which was weird for like two seconds and then it was just really nice, Jay pulling him close while they casually talked to the others (who also talked to Chad) like they were all friends even though they weren't friends.

"So," Lonnie spoke up one lunch, waving a fork lazily at Chad as she looked over the two of them with a narrowed gaze. "When did this happen?"

For whatever reason, Jay seemed to tense, but Chad had actually been there for that part so he felt comfortable answering. "About a week ago."

"Yeah, I got that," Lonnie said, which- if she'd known that, why did she even bother asking? "I meant, when did you get all hot for Jay?"

The way she put it was entirely crass, and it was no wonder that Chad felt his cheeks heat up in a furious blush, wishing the ground would swallow him whole right then and there. "I'm not- I am um… reasonably attracted to Jay," Chad settled on, deciding that was perfectly respectable. "And he asked me, so I said yes."

"That was it?" Lonnie pressed. "All he had to do was ask you?"

"What else was he supposed to do?" Chad asked, and there was a moment where nobody answered, making him think he had conversationally messed up again.

And then Lonnie was laughing, a thing that seemed to slowly infect the rest of the table, until everyone but Jay and Chad were giggling helplessly.

"That's what I said," Lonnie crowed, wiping tears of amusement from her eyes. "I said, 'Jay'-"

"He doesn't need to know what you said," Jay urged, tugging Chad closer to him as though he could be a shield from Lonnie's weird gossip. "What matters is that I did ask him out-"

"Finally," Lonnie gasped, as though she had known Jay's plan to demonstrate his commitment all along.

"-and that's what matters. Ben." Jay turned his attention to the king. "Tell Lonnie that's what matters."

"You don't have to pull the king in for this," Lonnie wheezed. "I'll lay off, but still. You just had to ask."

"That is generally how these things work," Chad said, which for whatever caused another surge of laughter to sweep over the table.

Of course, dating Jay came with other things. Things Chad hadn't really considered.

Things like kissing.

Which, in hindsight, seemed like an obvious inclusion. Dating people kissed. Chad and Jay were dating. Ergo, he and Jay would probably have to kiss at some point.

It made sense, but also it didn't because Jay was the ultimate ladies' man, doing this to win over more ladies, and Chad was only along for the ride because Jay was being generous.

But Jay also had needs, which was how Chad discovered that 'come study in my room' was actually code for 'come make out with me'.

Chad got maybe two feet into the door before he found himself relieved of his bookbag and boxed against the wall, and he had been so entirely frazzled by the situation that he hadn't objected when Jay had ducked in and kissed Chad. On the lips. There were boy lips against his and boy hands on Chad's hips and instead of freaking out his body was apparently all for it because he immediately melted into the contact, becoming goo in Jay's hands.

He stayed that way while Jay untucked his shirt, when Jay caressed his stomach and unbuttoned his collar so he could suck on Chad's neck because those were apparently things Chad hadn't realized he wanted until they were happening. He stayed hopelessly enthusiastic when Jay angled their um- arousals together and then rutted against Chad, the friction and constant stimulation doing things to the prince, along with the knowledge that Jay was hard for him, and he was hard for Jay, and the other teen kept touching him and kissing him and it felt really good.

Long story short, they didn't get a lot of studying done that evening, which made Chad put a rule in place for subsequent meetings, because as much as he (bizarrely) enjoyed making out with Jay, he also couldn't fall behind in his studies. In a way, he used the other teen's kisses as motivation to get done faster.

It was a new and very exciting world, but things seemed to be working. He certainly had Audrey's attention, and way more princesses were talking to him, asking him about Jay, about their dates (also, there were dates), about their romance, and Chad answered to the best of his ability while also talking up himself and Jay as much as possible. That was, after all, the plan.

And for once, the plan actually seemed to be working.

Which made it a good day to be Chad.

-:-:-:-:-:-

Endnotes:

So based on my very brief research there isn't a lot of information about what Kings/Queens are called after they step down from the throne, because that's not a thing they normally do. Based on the few examples I read, they revert back to their previous titles, which was why Queen Belle is now a duchess.

Also, magic all-knowing Belle for the win, because why not shortcut cat-Chad's integration into the castle? Yes, yes, this checks out ;)

Cue Jay once more being a giant idiot person who initiates fake dating instead of owning up to his tricky, tricky feelings. His intention, of course, it to woo Chad to keeping him as a boyfriend full-time in an organic fashion, but will it work? Only time will tell ;)

Until next time :)