Chapter 4
The room was unbearably warm and stunk of mead and sweat. Laughter and loud, drunken voices filled the air as well with the musicians banging on their drums. Avariella winced at the sound. It would seem that the musicians were desperate for them all to hear their music. Not that they were particularly bad players, Avariella admitted to herself, but no one cared as to whether or not the music was good. Almost everyone was too drunk to care. Avariella cast a glance at Shirei and Olyvar, who were dancing along with many others to the lively tune. Avariella thought it was The Bear and the Maiden Fair but she couldn't be sure. The singer was drowned out with the sound of lively talks and laughter.
Avariella watched all of this with a blank stare of indifference but inside rage roared within her. She glanced up at the high table where Father, his lady wife, Roslin and Edmure all sat and she nearly blanched in disgust at the sight of Roslin feeding Edmure grapes out of her hand. Dear gods, she thought and took a large gulp of her wine. She was only on her first cup despite the fact that it had been hours since the ceremony, as she wanted to keep a close eye on Shirei. I'm going to need more if I'm going to be able to stomach that she thought and took yet another gulp. Surprisingly enough, it did not taste to bad though it was too sweet for her liking. No matter, she told herself, wine is wine. Her lord father had never bothered to control his children when it came to it, and had never looked bothered when one of his younger children was stumbling drunk. He had never once told any of them of any limitations they had when it came to drinking. He probably hoped it would drive most of us to an early grave. The thought was a dark one, but one that she knew to be partially true when it came to some of her siblings. I'm one of them now.
She snuck a glance at her lord father, who was gulping down a cup of wine, and knew in her heart that he had not forgotten what she had said to him a few weeks before. Nor had he forgiven. Not that Avariella had expected him to, but she was still wary of what punishment he had planned for when his beloved guests finally left the Twins. When Roslin giggled beside their father it occurred to Avariella in the back of her mind that her sister would be included in those leaving. The realisation made her stomach clench but she was determined not to focus on it. It dawned on Avariella that she had not expected for them to part for a quite a while longer. Most of Walder Frey's offspring, even the true born, were lucky if they ever got to leave. Most of them were stuck here with their husbands and children, since majority of the time the husbands never had keeps of their own. I'm going to be one of them, Avariella thought, I'm going to have to marry one of those stinking drunkards who will always be deep in their cups when they come to my bed. Not that that was always a bad thing, she allowed, sometimes it was better for them to be drunk, it made it end faster.
She shook her head quickly, banishing all of her dark thoughts. She glanced down at the food on her plate, and a cut a small piece of the meat placed on it. What is that? She wondered, Pork? Beef? Lamb? She couldn't tell and that in itself told her that she didn't want to know. She lifted the fork up hesitantly to her mouth, and took the piece of meat in her mouth. That's lamb, she told herself firmly, that is most definitely lamb. It was a bit tasteless but it was better than what they usually had to eat. She took another bite of it and another, until all the meat on her plate was finished. Avariella had nearly eaten anything all day, and suddenly she was starving. There was some pie on her plate, but even though she knew they tasted horrid from years of experience in that moment she did not care and ate it quickly.
"You must have been hungry." Avariella stiffened at the sound of Black Walder's voice. She laid down her utensils carefully and was careful to hide the jolt of fear that she felt. "What do you want?" She snapped at him, her hazel eyes cold. He slid into the seat next to her and his smile was both deadly and threatening. "You rat," he snarled at her, his dark eyes flashing. Avariella blinked at him once, and clasped her hands together tightly in order to stop them from shaking. "These guests won't be here to protect you soon enough," he promised, "And then. . ."
"And then what?" she goaded, and raised an eyebrow at him in a pretence of fearlessness, "You hit me once, twice. . .?" His face flushed red with anger, before a malicious glint appeared in his eye as he leaned closer to her. She could smell the mead on his breath he was so close. "I've heard a lot about you from Ser Trent, Avariella. He happens to be very. . .fond of you, if you please. With one suggestion to father I could persuade him that you should make amends for his injury by. . . I don't know, marrying him?" Avariella's eyes had widened with shock, and she couldn't have hidden her fear even if she had tried. "You wouldn't," she whispered, feeling nauseous. His mouth twisted into a grim smile, "Wouldn't I?" he challenged, and left her.
She felt so very cold in that moment, despite her previous claims of the room being unbearably warm. Her hands had begun to shake in horror at the thought of. . . She couldn't even bare to think of it and suddenly she felt so suffocated she nearly ran out of the hall. Don't let him see your fear, she told herself harshly, closing her eyes. Do not let him win.
But it was hard to convince herself of that when all she could think of— all she could feel was Ser Trent on top of her, grabbing at her, touching her with his large, sweaty hands. When all she could hear was her helpless cries in her ears. Avariella shuddered at the memory and reached for her cup and took another large gulp, trying to banish the memory from her mind. They are not worth your fear. She let out a sigh and took another gulp of wine, and was displeased at finding that her cup was now drained. She signalled for one of the servants to refill it and glanced at Olyvar and Shirei, who were still dancing happily, oblivious to her. . . Your what? Avariella asked herself, your pain? Your fear? You're not exactly in the position to be accosting them for not noticing your pain Avariella. She nearly winced at the words but she knew they were true. She remembered the fierceness in Roslin's eyes earlier as she commanded her to take care of Shirei, to not 'go away again'.
The words still stung deep down, though it was difficult for her to admit. Whether or not because she thought it was true or because she thought Roslin was too harsh she didn't know, and when she saw Shirei and Olyvar walking towards her she knew that it wasn't the time to figure it out either. Olyvar was saying something to Shirei that made her toss her head back and laugh and Avariella would have smiled at the sight if she wasn't still shaken up. "How was it?" she asked them when they reached her, taking a sip of her wine. "It was so much fun, Avariella!" Shirei squealed, sitting beside her. Olyvar cast their younger half-sister an amused glance and sat down on the other side of Avariella before telling her playfully, "This one is dangerous out there— beware!" She watched with a small smile as Shirei leaned over her and hit Olyvar on the shoulder, a smile breaking out on her youthful features.
"I'm not going to have to since I'm not dancing," Avariella reminded him, watching as Shirei leaned back in her seat and pouted at her before asking, "Why can't you? You used to be the best." Avariella let out a small chuckle at that before gesturing to her hair, "I need to make sure the daisies don't fall out so you don't butcher me in my sleep." Shirei giggled at that, her cheeks warming under the candle light. Truth be told, Avariella was slightly worried that someone in their drunken stupor would knock one of them over and set fire to the hall. It wouldn't be the first time.
"Did you get that refilled?" Olyvar asked her, peering at her cup of wine. Avariella blinked at him before nodding. He smiled at her wryly before taking a sip of his own cup, and the moment was broken by Shirei's voice, "Can I have a cup Avariella?" Avariella turned in her chair to stare at her younger half-sister before shaking her head. "No," she answered simply, watching as Shirei pouted in disappointment. "You and Avos were drinking wine at my age!" If she noticed how Avariella stiffened at the mention of her twin, she didn't show it. Olyvar did though, and he stepped in quickly before her silence grew awkward. "That was different Shirei," he told her, glancing worriedly at Avariella, who was momentarily frozen. "And how do you remember that?"
Shirei blushed for a moment before replying, "I remember them taking sips from your cup at a feast we had a few years ago. If they could drink, why can't I?" Avariella snapped out of her shock and quickly quipped, "Because we say so." And with a meaningful look at Shirei she quickly dropped the subject with a pout, understanding that the topic was closed. Avariella remembered that feast well, even though it was five or so years before. They had both tried wine before, though only one or two sips at a time. That night they had both got drunk even though in between them they had only approximately one cup. Avariella remembered how giddy she had felt, and how their laughter had echoed around the halls as they tripped over themselves trying to get to their chambers. It had been a good night, despite the way their heads had hurt when they woke the morning after. The thought of Shirei drunk wasn't a sight she could picture.
She was snapped out of her thoughts by Shirei's whisper. "They look happy," she whispered, staring directly at Roslin and Edmure. Avariella and Olyvar shared a look before Avariella answered, "Indeed they do." Shirei glanced up at her then, her eyes filled with curiosity. "Will either of us be that happy on our wedding day?" Avariella's mouth opened in surprise at the question, and she could see that Olyvar looked startled as well. It took her a moment to respond or better yet, to conjure up a response of some kind. What could she say? Should she lie? Lying wouldn't do her any good, she knew that, Shirei was far too innocent as it was. So with a heavy heart Avariella told her gently, "I don't know," she smiled ruefully, "I hope so." For you up in the North. But she didn't say that. She knew that it would upset Shirei for it implied that Avariella herself would not be happy, and she didn't want to get her half-sisters hopes up.
Shirei smiled back at her, but for once her smile didn't seem full of joy, and was instead a sadder smile. "One of us could go to the North," Shirei whispered, loud enough for only her to hear. Avariella cast a meaningful glance at Olyvar, who nodded quickly and stood from his seat, and ruffled Shirei's hair before going on his way to-gods-know-where. "You're really worried about going up North, aren't you?" Avariella questioned gently, her eyes focused intently on her face. Shirei nodded and glanced at the ground, avoiding her gaze. "Why?"
Shirei gulped nervously and slowly but surely looked into her eyes, "I've heard the stories about the North Ava!" she said, a little too loudly before lowering her voice, "I've heard about the giants and the white walkers and how the Northmen are savages. I don't want to go there. I'm scared. Remember the stories Avos told us?" Avariella nearly sighed at her half-sisters worries, and the sadness that crept into her heart at the mention of her brothers name was great. Avos had always been the storyteller of the group, along with Olyvar. She vividly remembered nights they all spent in one of their chambers, camped out on the bed with either Olyvar or Avos telling them stories. They told tales of the giants in the North, and the gold of the west and of dragons across the narrow sea. Avos always seemed to come alive whenever he was telling a story, either one he had created or one he had over heard or been told. Not that the Maester and Avariella's and Roslin's Septa ever told them tales such as those.
"Shirei," Avariella said calmly, gently grasping the bottom of Shirei's chin. "Look around you," she told her softly, gesturing around her. Shirei nervously glanced around the crowded hall, her eyes lingering on random Northmen across the room. "Do they seem like savages to you?" It was unfortunate that one of the Northern lords let out a particularly loud bellow and rose from his chair, towering over all those below him. Shirei gulped and stared at her with wide eyes. Avariella refused the temptation to groan out loud before she glanced over at the Kings table. "Look at them," she said, her gaze focused on Lady Catelyn, King Robb, the Blackfish and Queen Talisa. "Do they look like people who would sacrifice children? Or dine with white walkers, who have been dead for over eight thousand years?" Shirei shook her head and smiled before muttering, "No." Avariella smiled at that and let out a small chuckle, which caused Shirei to smile nervously too. Good she thought, happy to have quelled her sister's fear for a short while.
She would have a difficult time adjusting, Avariella thought, up in the North. But Olyvar would be there to help her, she reassured herself. Olyvar would take care of her. That is, if they even chose her. Avariella was vaguely aware of Olyvar coming back to sit next to them, and it took her a moment to realise that he was staring at her, his eyes filled with desperation. "What is it?" she hissed at him, when Shirei was busy giggling at one of their half-brothers who had taken a tumble. Olyvar paused for a moment, and sent a pointed glance Shirei's way and lowered his voice, "The bedding is starting soon." Avariella immediately snapped her head towards Roslin's direction, to find her sister's face, though still lovely, had grown pale.
"Maybe you should take Shirei to bed," he murmured, "She shouldn't see something like this."
Avariella gazed at him for a few moments before looking down at Shirei, and though a part of her agreed with him, she found herself shaking her head. "No," she said lowly, "We can not shelter her all her life, Olyvar." He looked as though he were about to protest before she quickly cut him off, "Better she see something like this with us then stumbling in on father or some other family member of ours fucking." She sent a quick glance behind her back to make sure Shirei wasn't listening. "She know's what a bedding is by now, Olyvar. It would be better if she knew what to expect when the time comes for her turn. That way she isn't taken by surprise, and overwhelmed." Olyvar still did not look convinced, but Avariella didn't care. Shirei was a child yes, and with childhood came innocence that was quickly sucked out by life's hardships. Shirei wasn't simply innocent; she was pure. And with purity came naivety, which led to bad people taking advantage of those who didn't know any better.
Almost as if on cue, her lord father rose from his chair, and instantly the music came to a stop. The chatter in the room quieted but an air of anticipation and excitement grew as her lord father began to speak. "Your grace, the Septon has prayed his prayers," she could feel Shirei stiffen beside her, her features widening with realisation as she realised what was happening. Avariella did not know the true extent of Shirei's knowledge of the bedding ceremony, but she herself had known about it when she was Shirei's age. She had even witness one of them when she was younger than Shirei. "Some words were said," her father's face was twisted into a lustful smile, "And Lord Edmure has wrapped my daughter in a cloak." A few laughs echoed across the room, and a few jeers. "But," her father added, his wrinkled face stretching unnaturally as he both talked and smiled at the same time, "They are not yet man and wife." More laughter. Roslin looked nervous now, and her eyes flickered across the crowd, as though she were looking for someone. "A sword needs a sheath." Her father let out a laugh, and it was a horrible sound, like that of a crow, "And a wedding needs a bedding." The whole room was cheering now, at least everyone except Avariella, Olyvar, Shirei, the King and his table, and Roslin herself. Though Edmure looked far too pleased with himself, a smirk appearing on his face.
"What does my sire say?" After the words left his mouth everyone else began banging their cups of wine on the table to show their eagerness. "Bed! Bed! Bed!" they all cheered in unison, though their banging was off point. Avariella saw the back of the King as he rose from his chair and walked over to her father. The voices quietened.
"If you think the time is right Lord Walder, by all means. . .let us bed them." The cheers were immediate after that, following the sound of chairs being scraped back as they all clambered over to the newlyweds in their eagerness to bed them. Avariella, Shirei and Olyvar had risen as well though none of them made any move to join in. Avariella caught Roslin's eye from across the room, and she could sense her sisters fear from here. She tried to smile at her comfortingly but she wasn't sure if Roslin saw. Shirei was holding tightly onto her hand now, her eyes wide as she watched both Northmen and her own kin alike practically rip at Roslin's clothes as they carried her over her shoulder. Avariella moved closer towards Roslin, who looked panicked on top of their shoulders.
The musicians began to play "The Queen Took Off Her Sandal, the King Took Off His Crown" though it was mostly drowned out by the obscenities the men were shouting at Roslin. How fitting, she thought, as she recognised the song, the king in the room doesn't even seem to wear a crown. She watched helplessly as they carried her sister off and she managed to catch her eye one last time before she was carried off to her marriage bed. She observed in disgust as her elder half-sisters dragged an all-too-willing Edmure across the room, tearing at his clothes with no sense of dignity or shame. Not that Edmure seemed to notice, for he was smiling like a fool.
Anger pierced her heart as she stood there quietly, and she was immensely thankful when the lot of them finally got out of the room, leaving only a few in their wake. She turned back to look at Shirei, who looked incredibly disturbed and shaken by what she just saw. Olyvar was looking at her intently, and she could see it in his eyes that he was angry with her for making Shirei stay. She strode over to Shirei, and crouched lower so that they were eye-to-eye. "Shirei," she said firmly, staring into her eyes, "I know that seems scary doesn't it?" She nodded, her face pale. "And in that moment, I'm sure it is. But that's all it is, Shirei. A moment. A silly, insignificant moment that won't matter to you in years to come. Heck, I bet that Roslin will have forgotten all about it by this time tomorrow." It was a poor attempt at humour she knew, but it was the best she could do. She rose from her crouching position and straightened the skirts of her dress and turned to look at Olyvar. "Will you take Shirei to my chambers, please?" Olyvar nodded at her but remained silent, and simply held out a hand to Shirei, which she gladly took and Avariella watched as the made their way out of the room.
She released a sigh she didn't even know she had been holding, and was startled to find Catelyn Stark standing behind her, having been watching them for gods know how long. She must have looked startled because the elder woman smiled at her apologetically, her blue eyes lighter than usual, "Forgive me, my lady, I did not mean to startle you."
Avariella looked at her warily but managed to get out evenly, "No worries, my lady." Lady Catelyn was still staring at the door from which they had all exited and so Avariella found herself standing closer to her, facing the same direction. "Your poor sister," she murmured. Avariella stared at her out of the corner of her eye but quickly replied back, "Every bride suffers the same." And then because she felt inclined to compliment the Starks and their ever-growing honour she quickly added, "I am sure you endured your's with grace, my lady." If Lady Catelyn noticed her icy tone, she didn't show it.
The older woman turned to look at her, and a rare, wistful smile appeared on her undeniably beautiful face. "Oh Ned forbade it. He said it wouldn't be right if he broke a man's jaw on our wedding night." The reminder that Avos would never get a wedding night pained her deeply, but she managed to hide her pain with a small, unconvincing sound of amusement at the back of her throat. "I am sure you will endure your's with grace," Lady Catelyn told her, her eyes hiding her thoughts. Avariella stared at her suspiciously, her thoughts running wild. What in the seven hells is that meant to imply? She wondered, horrified at the prospect of Lady Catelyn being there on her wedding night. Which implied Avariella being in the North. She nearly winced at the thought, but tried to hide her discomfort at the older woman's comment.
"Thank you, my lady," she managed to muster, and the elder woman took that as her cue to walk away. Avariella watched her as she did, and her insides tightened at the sight of the King and Queen staring into each others eyes, talking quietly amongst themselves. I wonder if she handled her bedding with grace she thought venomously before moving back towards her table, eager for another cup of wine. The players in the gallery had finally gotten both king and queen down to their name-day suits when something made her stop in her steps. The players had begun to play a very different song. A song she had heard off the lips of drunken soldiers that had returned home. The singer did not sing the words, but Avariella knew the Rains of Castamere when she heard it.
She froze where she stood, the realisation of what the song symbolised had rendered her numb. Her limbs felt like stone strapped to her body and she thought that even if she attempted to move she would not be able too. Is this what I think it means? She thought to herself. She could only know one way for sure. It took everything in her to turn her head to glance at her father and somehow she was not surprised to find that he was already staring at her with his murky blue eyes. Father, she wanted to say, father. He raised his cup of wine at her as though they had just made a toast and took a sip. What does this mean? They stared at each other until the last bang of the drum until another song began to play and then the moment was gone as quick as it came.
But Avariella knew in her heart in that moment that Walder Frey had not forgotten, and what that meant both pleased her and frightened her. Dear gods father, she thought, what are you dragging us into?
Avariella rose the next morning with a face filled with Shirei's hair. The younger girl had fallen asleep in her chambers, and by the time Avariella came to her chamber she was far too tired to move her and had simply undone her hair and changed into a night dress. Shirei had not even done that much, though her hair had come undone in her sleep, hence it being all over Avariella's face when she woke. She lay there for a moment, staring up at the canopy after she had removed the hair from her face.
She could feel Shirei's warmth beside her, could hear the sound of her breathing. It was strange having another human sleep beside her— not that she had many people sleep in her chambers, only Roslin, Shirei, Avos and Olyvar on the rare occasion— but it still felt strange to her. Too strange. It made her feel trapped. She carefully extracted herself from Shirei's arms and walked over to her wardrobe and was suddenly struck with a sudden urge to swim. Yes, she thought, a nice, cool swim will do be some good. She hadn't gone swimming for several days because of the preparations for the wedding. The wedding. Her insides twisted at the thought of the ceremony, and of the bedding but that moment between her and her father lingered. Was it a moment of insanity? She pondered, or did I simply imagine it? Or was it just a coincidence? In that moment, it hadn't seemed like one.
And by how her father had looked at her, at the expression in his eyes, she knew that it was no mere coincidence. She changed out of her nightdress quickly and slipped on a simple white gown on top of her small clothes and pulled on her long cloak, clasping it in the middle. She cast a glance over at Shirei, who was still sleeping peacefully, and felt slightly guilty at the thought of leaving her here on her own without a word. She walked towards the bed and leaned over to gently place her hands on Shirei's shoulders and shook. "Shirei," she whispered, and stopped her shaking when she stirred, "I'm going for a swim." Shirei turned onto her other side, burying her face in her pillow.
Avariella leaned back, satisfied with the result and walked out of the room, and closed the door quietly, as to not wake Shirei. Judging by how quiet the hall was, Avariella suspected that it was only shortly after first light. The household and their guests would not be rising from their beds until noon at the very least, still sobering up from their drunkenness the night before. Her mind drifted off to Roslin, and she wondered whether or not she was in pain. Avariella shuddered at the thought of why she would be in pain, and pushed the disgusting thought from her mind.
Though it was warm outside, the sky was dark and cloudy, though there were signs of the sun trying to break through, and momentarily succeeding before being blocked by the clouds once more. This did nothing to lessen her desire to be underwater, and yet she still took her time walking to the small lake. She watched Max bound ahead of her and let out a small sigh. He had not left her side the whole time they were on the castle grounds, and even after they had walked a good distance away from the castle he had stuck to her side. No doubt he was wary of the dire wolf— Greywind, she reminded herself— making an appearance again.
The sun finally broke out in a sudden clearing in the clouds, and Avariella was thankful for the way it warmed her skin and shone through her hair. The wind began to pick up slightly, making her hair flap behind her like a banner. It had grown hot under the sun and the clouds showed signs of disappearing. Good, she thought, she had forgotten a towel yet again, the sun would make her dry faster.
When she finally reached the small lake in the woods she nearly ran over to it in relief. She had barely had a moment to herself this past week. Avariella had grown used to being alone most of the time, and to be suddenly be swarmed with company for most of her waking moments for a week was difficult to adjust to. She unclasped her cloak and laid it down carefully on the grass so that she could lie on it. The water looked all too tempting and it almost felt as though it were beckoning her towards it. Max lay down next to her cloak, no doubt to keep an eye on her in the water. She took of her shoes and placed them on the other side of her cloak.
She bent down and patted Max quickly on the head before moving towards the edge of the water. Avariella stood there for a moment, absorbing the feeling of the breeze fluttering through her hair and the grass against her feet. The lake was peaceful, and still as a statue. Avariella frowned slightly before sitting down and sliding her legs into the water. Her white gown instantly began to cling to her legs but it didn't bother her. Today was a quiet day, a peaceful day even. She had no desire to jump in and break the sudden light feeling inside of her.
The water, though clear, was cold. She knew that in a few moments she would grow used to it but for now it was sharp and caused goosebumps to appear on her arms and legs. She leaned back on her elbows and glanced up at the sky, glad to see the grey was fading into a nice, warm blue. She didn't know how long she lay there under the sun, her legs in the now-lukewarm water and she didn't care. Quickly, she edged herself into the water and sank down to the muddy bottom before pushing upwards and rising out of the water with a gasp. She paddled in the water for a while and eventually turned on her back to stare up at the sky, the sounds of the forest and the echo's of the Twins being muted by the water in her ears.
She stayed there for a while, getting out of the water and drying under the sun before going back in again. It takes a while for her to realise that the sun is now high in the sky and she has been there for many hours. Long enough for Shirei to start worrying. The thought makes her jump up with the start, and she hastily puts on her shoes and picks her cloak off the ground, brushing off any stray pieces of grass. Max also jumps up, sensing her panic. She slides on her cloak and clasps it as she begins to walk quickly, not looking where she is going.
The walk back to the Twins seemed longer than usual, and she wondered if it was because she was walking slowly or just because. She's not walking slowly and her strides are quick and relentless, and Avariella felt as though she were not in control of her legs. Her heart was pounding in her ears when she past the gate and ran up the stairs to enter the castle. She ignored the bewildered stares of the servants at her attire and made her way to the great hall, her damp hair bouncing against her cloak.
Avariella turned the corner that led to the great hall before stopping in her footsteps. Her attire was never something that particularly concerned her nowadays but she knew that if she stormed the great hall with dripping wet hair and muddy shoes she would draw attention to herself. Unwanted attention. She turned on her heel and strode just as quickly away from the door, and made her way towards her chambers.
She was not surprised to find that Shirei had already risen, and when she shut the door she quickly took of her cloak, shoes and gown and left them in a heap on the floor. She changed quickly into another gown after drying herself with a small cloth she had left on her night stand and brushed her wet hair, pinning back two pieces of it. After she had finished clothing herself and stepped out of the room, she took notice of Max waiting outside the door obediently.
She sighed at the sight of her most loyal friend and bent down to pet him, a small smile forming on her lips. "Come on boy," she said softly, rising up to her full height. Avariella did not need to look behind her to check if he was following; she knew. They made their way down to the ground floor of the castle, before Avariella was stopped on her way to the great hall by a serving girl.
"Lady Roslin has asked for me to send for you my lady," the serving girl told her, eyeing Max with fear, "she is breaking her fast along with Lady Shirei and your brother in your father's solar." Avariella stiffened at that detail before asking, "Was my father there when you left?" The serving girl shook her head and muttered, "No, my lady. Lord Walder does not use his solar very often." That was true, but she still felt the need to ask. Avariella nodded and allowed the serving girl to escort her to her father's solar.
When Avariella entered the room with Max at her side, all eyes flew up to stare at her. She stood there in the doorway for a few, awkward moments before hesitantly stepping into the room, the door shutting behind her. The solar was surprisingly well kept for a room that was rarely used. It was reasonably clean and the furniture was more posh than any of the other rooms in the Twins. She wondered if it was so clean because of their guests.
"Avariella," Roslin said, her eyes focused on her, "Come."
Avariella snapped her gaze towards Roslin, and carefully observed her. She looked remarkably well-restored, if a little bit tired. Her honey coloured hair fell down her shoulders with the upper half-twisted into an elegant bun. Relief flooded through her at the sight of her half-sister being alright and she realised that she had unknowingly worried about her all night long. She remembered the fear in Roslin's eyes during the bedding ceremony, and was glad to see that they were for nought. She walked towards the table, nodding her greetings to both Olyvar and Shirei who nodded them back, the latter looking happier than the former.
"You look well," she told Roslin, and some of her relief lingered in her voice. Roslin smiled at her faintly, her brown eyes suddenly looking tired. "Thank you," Roslin replied, and gestured to the seat across from her, and next to Olyvar, "Please sit." Avariella nodded and sat down carefully, eyeing the food laid out on the table. The room was silent for a while after that, before Shirei began to eat once more, prompting Avariella to do the same.
"You were gone for a while," Roslin commented, her gaze still on her, "We were beginning to worry."
Avariella glanced up from her plate to stare at her sister, and noticed the sadness and tiredness in her gaze. She frowned at the sight before quickly smoothing out her face and replied evenly, "I went for a swim down by the lake in the woods." It was Roslin's turn to frown then and her voice was both filled with worry and reprimanding. "That place is filled with horrible spirits, Avariella. You should—"
"Don't tell me that's still bothering you," Avariella interrupted, staring at her. Shirei looked between them, startled. Roslin's gaze was unwavering as she stared right back at her. "You stopped going there because of it," Roslin returned, before adding, "At least for a few years before—"
"Before what?" Avariella demanded, her hazel eyes flashing with anger, "Before what, Roslin? Before Avos died? Before our brother died?" Someone could have cut through the tension with a knife. Max began to growl from where he sat behind her and the sound was comforting to her ears. Olyvar suddenly stood causing his chair to scrape back against the wooden floor. He moved around the table and tugged at Shirei's hand, muttering, "Come on, Shirei. Lets give them some time alone." The door closed softly and yet neither Avariella nor Roslin broke each others gaze.
Avariella was the one who spoke first.
"You summoned me here my lady, " her words were venomous and full of rage, "Why?" Roslin sighed at that and suddenly all the anger melted off her face. "I asked for you all to come here because I wanted to tell you in person that my husband and I are leaving two days." Shock appeared on Avariella's features and a lump began to form in her throat. "I wanted to tell you before you found out from someone else." Avariella felt shaken as she stared down at her hands, shame and shock forming into one, making all her bones feel fragile.
"How. . .how did they get ready so fast?" Avariella whispered, her eyes flickering up to meet Roslin's sad ones. "They have been preparing since the week before the wedding. They are all eager to go home." Another thought occurred to Avariella. "Is the King leaving with you?" she asked, her voice tight with worry. Roslin shook her head, much to Avariella's relief. "No," she said softly, "But he is leaving shortly thereafter."
Another awkward silence followed before Roslin spoke shakily, "Look, Avariella. . .with me gone Shirei—"
"Is going to be distraught and upset which means I am going to look after her," Avariella finished, "And then I have to do so again when Olyvar leaves as well. Though she has gotten used to him being gone during the war." There was a moment of hesitance before she told her, "I am trying to convince Lady Catelyn to chose Shirei to take up north." At the stunned look on Roslin's face she elaborated, "If any one of us deserves to leave this hell of a place we call home it's her."
The stunned look on Roslin's face softened to one of shame as she spoke with wide-eyed-wonder, "You. . . you were organising to give our younger half-sister a future same as me and I thanked you by—"
"Don't," Avariella interrupted sharply, raising a hand to silence her half-sister, "There is no need. You raised a valuable concern." Roslin still looked guilty however, despite Avariella's protests. "And if they chose you?" Roslin asked, "What then?" Avariella reached for the cup in front of her and took a sip from it. "They won't."
Another moment of silence passed between them, though this was one of understanding, not awkwardness. Avariella then smiled wryly before asking playfully, "So how was he?" They both laughed at each other, their tension forgotten.
It was two days later when Roslin and Edmure Tully— she still had a hard time wrapping her head around it— left the Twins. It was a cool, cloudy day as they stood there in front of the Twins, the wind howling above their heads. Avariella stood next to Shirei, a blank expression of formality on her features. They had already said their 'farewell' to Lord Edmure, and now waited patiently for Roslin to finish saying her goodbyes to the rest of their siblings. Avariella heard Shirei sniff loudly beside her, and glanced down at her to see tears streaming down on her face.
Her heart clenched in her chest but she stayed silent, glancing up at the grey sky. It was fitting weather for such an occasion, she noted, clasping her hands together in front of her. The past two days had been spent helping Roslin pack the belongings she wished to take with her to the Twins. Shirei had gotten emotional over the course of those two days but Roslin had always been there to hug her and comfort her. Soon enough— hopefully enough, Shirei would soon be in the North. Avariella had not spoken to Lady Catelyn or the King over the past two days, too preoccupied with Roslin's impending travel to Riverrun to bother seeking them out.
She glanced at the pair of them now, who stood next to her Lord Father with solemn expressions on their faces. The sudden spark of anger that formed within her seemed oddly out of place with the grimness that hung in the air at Roslin's departure. She glanced to her right at Shirei, and was surprised to find that Roslin was already there, hugging their little half-sister who was sobbing loudly now. Avariella watched numbly as Roslin whispered something in Shirei's ear that caused her to giggle and cry at the same time and then Roslin rose and disentangled herself from Shire and turned to face her.
They stared at each other for a few, long, torturous moments, words hanging on either of their lips. I'm sorry, Avariella wanted to say, I'm sorry for leaving you and blocking you out. I'm sorry for never telling you I was sorry. I thought we would have more time. Her chest suddenly felt heavy with emotion, and her eyes began to sting. Her heart crumpled in her chest when she saw Roslin's eyes begin to do the same, and suddenly it was though a damn had broke as they embraced each other fiercely. Avariella's eyes had shut tightly as she savoured the moment, her arms tightening around Roslin. They didn't say anything for a while, and instead simply held onto each other like they never wanted to let go. Avos had been her whole life, had been her other half, and the only other person in the world who had ever come close to the bond she and her twin shared was Roslin. And now she was losing her too. To the very people who took away her brother.
"Take care of her," Roslin whispered against her hair, her voice tight, as though she were about to cry. Avariella nodded against her cheek, her throat too constricted with emotion to speak. "Take care of yourself," she managed to whisper back. She felt Roslin smile as she breathed back, "You too." Avariella didn't want to let go, but slowly, eventually she began to loosen her embrace and disentangled her arms from Roslin. They stared at each other once again, and Avariella felt her heart plummet when she saw that Roslin was crying.
"Farewell Lady Tully," she said softly, managing a weak smile.
"Farewell Lady Frey," Roslin returned, and with another small sad smile, she returned to her husband. Avariella felt Shirei wrap her arms around her waist and sob quietly into the side of her stomach. She raised a hand to Shirei's head and began to stroke her hair comfortingly, unable to speak words. She didn't move as she saw Roslin be escorted into her carriage and when she turned back to wave, she waved back numbly and watched with a solemn expression as the Tully banners began to disappear further and further until she could no longer see them.
She glanced to the side at the King and Lady Catelyn as she continued on stroking Shirei's hair as she continued to cry and the sudden wave of anger that washed over her was so great she nearly collapsed. She glared at them both, furious with the world. Haven't you done enough? She wanted to scream at them, you have already taken so much from me. The King seemed to sense her gaze and looked at her, his blue eyes unreadable. This is your fault, she spat at him inwardly, my gods I hate you and your cursed family. By the way his gaze softened ever-so-slightly she could tell that he knew.
Avariella watched Shirei play with Max from a small distance away. It had only been yesterday when Roslin left and her younger half-sister had been inconsolable for the rest of the day. Only sleep had managed to prevent her crying, and even now, under the sun, Avariella could still see how red-rimmed her eyes were. Shirei was still sad however, even as she played with Max in the grass outside the Twins.
She was sitting on a long, thin blanket she had brought out with them, along with some cakes from the kitchens that were Shirei's favourite in a basket. It was difficult to see her so sad since she was usually so happy. Though it was still hard for her to be around Shirei, she planned on keeping her promise. She would take care of Shirei, and make sure she went to the North even she had to die to manage it. Avariella watched them for a long while before she heard someone approaching her from behind and turned to glance up at whoever it was.
She stiffened at the sight of Lady Catelyn standing over her, with Lady Brienne standing behind her dutifully. Dislike coursed through her and she had to force herself to stop glaring at the elder woman. "Lady Avariella," Lady Catelyn began, "I would like to begin by apologising for the loss of your sister but I can assure you she will be happy at Riverrun." She was happy here. "You earlier expressed your desire that your sister be the one chosen to take to the North. I would like to speak with her." Avariella's heart sunk in her chest at the thought of her talking to Shirei but she nodded silently and murmured, "If you think it necessary then by all means, do talk to her."
The elder woman hesitated but a moment before she spoke again, "My son would also like to speak with Shirei as well but before he does so he would like to talk with you." Avariella nearly laughed bitterly at that and barely managed to contain herself from doing so. "Alright," she said, her tone verging onto that of being rude, "Where is the King then?"
"Right behind you, my lady," a cool voice answered behind her. Avariella nearly jumped at the sound of his voice before standing quickly, and turned to face him. "Your grace," she greeted, not even trying to make herself sound pleased at the sight of him. She was vaguely aware of Lady Catelyn waking over to Shirei but she did not dare remove her eyes from him.
"My lady," he said, offering her his arm, "May we walk?" Avariella's skin crawled as she took his arm and responded, "Yes, your grace, we may." They walked in silence for a few paces before he began, "I would like to apologise for the death of your twin, my lady. I never had the opportunity to do so beforehand—" You've had weeks— "And for Lady Roslin leaving. I can only imagine how much you both must miss her presence here. Though I can assure you that you will see her again."
He must have felt her stiffen because he asked, "You don't believe me, do you my lady?"
Avariella came to a halt and removed her arm from his, and turned to stare at him. "Would you, your grace? The last time someone I loved left because of your family and promised that I would see them again it did not come true." She was being brazen, she knew but Avariella didn't care. He deserved it in her eyes.
The King replied stiffly, "That was war, my lady—"
She smiled at him wryly and said, "I read that marriage is a whole different kind of war, your grace."
"I suppose that may be true in some people's eyes," he replied stiffly, his blue eyes unwavering as they stared into her hazel ones. She didn't dare look away in case it was misread as a sign of weakness. "Forgiveness does not come easily to you, does it?" he asked quietly, his blue eyes void of any self-pity or entitlement. He was asking because he was genuinely curious, not because he was bitter of her clear hatred of him.
"If you want forgiveness, choose Shirei to take to the North, your grace," she blurted out, her eyes desperate. "Please," she added, her voice softening, "she deserves to leave this place." And even though she hated herself for pleading with him of all people, he was the only person who could save Shirei from this wretched place. He observed her with a softened gaze and she looked at him with her heart pounding furiously in her chest. "Alright," he said, much to her everlasting relief, "I will." She nearly fell over with relief at his answer before she remembered who she was talking to. "Thank you your grace," she said formally, and even though she still resented him with every fibre of her being, she meant it.
He nodded at her cordially and murmured in reply, "You have my word, my lady."
And so it was with a great deal of hesitance that she trusted him to keep his word that Shirei would be the one taken to the North. From what she could tell, he meant it when he said it as well. He would announce the news tomorrow at supper and then they would leave however long it took after that. That was the plan, set in stone in her mind.
At least, until disaster struck.
It was later on that afternoon when Avariella noticed the whispers around the castle. Shirei was at her lessons with the Septa after they had returned back to the castle with the King and Lady Catelyn. She had bumped into Olyvar then, who had stood there, gaping at her. No doubt he had been surprised that she hadn't attempted to claw out the Kings eyes. She had confided it him the plan, since he was also travelling North with the King. He had looked relieved, if not peaceful when she told him.
Avariella turned the corner that led to the great hall, and was surprised to find a large group of people standing in front of the closed doors, eavesdropping. Her heart pounded in her chest at the sight, and she had this uncomfortable feeling of something being very, very wrong. It was then that she noticed Olyvar, who looked wide-eyed and pale as he stumbled over to her.
"Olyvar what is it?" she demanded, her heart in her throat.
He wiped a hand over his face, sorrow evident on his features. "What is it?" she asked harshly. The bitterness in his eyes was unlike anything she had ever seen from him. "One of the Stark soldiers attacked one of ours. Our guard was killed," he choked out, frustration now evident on his features. "Father is furious with the King and demanded that their be retribution." Avariella's heart sunk in her chest, "What kind of retribution," she asked quietly.
His eyes could barely meet her own as he told her sadly, "He is asking for the King to allow him to chose who goes to the North and Avariella. . .I heard your name."
A/N DUN DUN DUN! I would like to start off by thanking all of you for everything. Your reaction to this story has been so great! I am so incredibly thankful. Now, I noticed in some of your reviews mentions about Ava's. . . grief. Avariella is someone who is ruled by her emotions and Avos had been her best friend and the person she loved most in the world. Even more than Roslin, Shirei or Olyvar so when she lost him, she lost the whole world. If any of you have read the hunger games, you know that Katniss's mother was bedridden when her husband died. Avariella is kinda like her in the sense that she was depressed when Avos died, except in that time no one really knew about depression or how to treat it, so she's kinda handling it on her own. Though her depression is not as bad as Katniss's mother. I hoped you all liked this chapter! Please feel free to tell me your thoughts! Thanks again!
Until next time,
Fionakevin073