Buchenwald Concentration Camp

1945

Those three days I was there, they were literal hell.

This doctor, who was one of the most notorious Nazi Doctors in all the Third Reich, was Doctor Friedrich Stieve. He was well known through the camp to doing experiments on the prisoners in that camp, whether they were Jewish or not, and his experiments were downright lethal and almost borderline animalistic. Most of his test subjects didn't survive what he would do to them.

And yet, here I was, Immortal and at his mercy,

He was maniacal to say the very least. I never thought I would have to endure pain after pain after pain. At first, it was mostly mere curiosity and wonder as to why I wasn't dying, not when he would peel off my fingernails and then my toenails, one by one to see the healing process. But then he would amp up the pain, peeling my skin off in certain places and having my screams be heard throughout the bunker we were in. I've seen my blood being spattered on the wall, my teeth that were extracted from my mouth in a dish on the counter, and that was just the beginning. The slowest torture, even for someone like me, was nothing in comparison to what he did to me.

He knew about me, and he knew there were others.

"Just tell me where they are, Fraülien, and this can all be over," He would say as he was done breaking my legs with a hammer. I said nothing, thinking that I could stick it out at first. There was no way I could tell him where the others were, mostly because I had no clue. I knew they had to be safe, safe and away from wherever I was held up in, but then again, the more he literally broke me down and tried to take me apart, I could tell inwardly I was slipping down a slope that as going to be hard to come back from.

Every lethal injection of some medication, I slipped farther.

"Lord God, please protect me in this time and help me prevail,"

Every sliver of a knife against my skin to expose my innards, I slipped some more.

"Lord God, please take the pain again. Can't you hear me?"

A bullet to the head.

"God, are you even listening?"

A stab to the stomach.

"God…God please…"

An entire foot being broken by a hammer.

"God?"

Being waterboarded…..shot at….stabbed….beaten…..

Finally, I was broken when he shaved my red hair, my eyes watching in horror as the locks fell to the floor.

I remembered sleeping in the night, waking up once or twice from a dream of the others after the sedative that I was given wore off. I could see them as if they were in front of me. I was shivering in the dark, doused in my sweat, blood, and what could be my urine from some of the torture I went through. My own headspace was long gone at this point, no longer seeing what time it was or where I was anymore. it felt so fuzzy in my brain, it felt like I was phasing in and out of consciousness with all that pain that I was experiencing over and over.

Nico, Joseph, Booker, and Andy were mere glimpses behind my eyes, having me see them as I dreamed for mere moments in this time since the rest of the time I was too afraid to sleep. This fear that was there within me, somehow it made me forget all of those battles and wars I fought in. It was beyond different, almost like I was never a warrior, to begin with. But there they were, almost looking stressed themselves. They were in some basement, lit candles were their only source of light.

They were all asleep too, huddled together in the corner and away from the entrance in case of an attack. Nico and Joe were of course huddled together, but what I saw wasn't what I was used to with them. They would be peaceful in sleep, even when Nico had a knife around his hand under the pillow. But this time, it was different.

Joe's arm that was around Nico was in a fiercer hold, almost as if he was afraid that Nico would fly away. But Nico's face broke my heart: it wasn't restful or at peace. Somehow, it looked like he was in pain. I didn't know what that meant, or why he was going through this, but it pained me too.

Booker and Andy were sleeping away from each other, but they too looked restless and almost on the edge. It mad eye cry, even in my sleep, to see all four of them away from me and somewhere safe. I wanted to believe that they would try to find me if they could, I knew they could. We were meant to be together, not separated.

I was afraid, purely afraid.

What if my mortality was going to happen under the knife of this crazy doctor? If it did, would I die here? This would be the last place I would ever want to die in, over and over, and at the hands of a doctor who thought of this as a blessing in his hands. I grew to hate him and despise them, no matter how hard he tried to be nee to me and use his words like honey. He was a monster, beyond a monster. He came from the depths of hell, that much I knew.

But I was in for it worse as those three days were going back so slow.

My brain was shut off then, almost giving in to the physical torture that I was going through, the constant ways I was I dying in repeat. Maybe this trauma was his whole process: breaking me down from the inside out. I was losing my sense of reality and what was going on around me, my spirit was shattered into a thousand pieces.

I didn't care what he did to me, I just wanted to all to end. Ultimately, I wanted to die.

Modern Day

I finally took a breath after explaining all that happened, noticing how Nile was watching me and a few tears that were escaping from her eyes. I was calm in all that I told me, very eerily calm since it was bad wounds reopening again. I didn't know why I was calm and collected in all of this, and I was saying all of the lies things that happened to me within a span of 72 hours.

"All that he did to you," Nile said in a sniff, catching her tears from falling in her lap, having me sigh and place my hand on her own since I could tell this was affecting her. It would affect anyone, I knew that, and yet I was calm and talking about it like it was just another day in my life.

"Take a breath," I reminded her, seeing her blubbering a bit as she finally breathed carefully.

"You're so calm about it," Nile said in a heartbroken tone, "You didn't deserve any of that shit,"

"I know," I said calmly to her, "Trust me…I thought about it for more than 80 years," I felt like I made it a bit worse from that as Nile shook her head almost in sadness and shame.

"But none of that should have happened to you," she said, sounding so hurt, having me squeeze her hand

"You're right," I agreed with her, "And those three days in that bunker room made me feel less of a human than I ever felt before. But enough time as past for me to just look back on it. Yes, I still have times of fear from it, almost like a tremor or a phantom pain, but all of the recovering made me more…neutral about it."

There was silence, both of us just drinking in all that I was tell her. I haven't exposed to anyone about what I went through, not in this nature really. The others knew, from only from their point of view. I was giving Nile a glimpse into what I was feeling and experiencing, almost a mellow moment in my life.

"So what happened after?" She asked, clearly wanting to know how it all ended.

1945

Buchenwald Concentration Camp

I could hear someone far off in the distance as I was coming in and out of consciousness. The sedative I was on, thanks to the doctor from Hell, was strong enough to keep me somewhat but not as strong to have me go to sleep. He did to me plenty of times, toying with my body as if it was his won playground in a sense. It was a terrible thing, to know I couldn't defend myself or even hurt this man who was doing his to me. But now, with my brain switching off and almost having me not care, I slipped already into the deep abyss of my mind.

I was about to go back under when I heard what seemed to be a massive explosion on the other side of the metal door that was keeping me from the outside world. It shook me in my horizontal chair I was in, having me blink a few times and heard screams on the other side of the door, far away at first but then coming closer. I was so still, not being able to do anything but just hear rapid gunfire and what seemed to be from combat.

Seconds were going longer, more gunfire was heard as I was slowly blinking and was trying to stay awake, fighting tot he sedative that was taking over my body again. It was a vicious cycle for me as I was feeling heavy in my head and my limbs, the fight was now right outside my door. Finally, sleep was going to come over me painfully when the door was busted open so violently it shook the counter and the tools on the top fo its surface.

Andy was in the room, a machine gun in hand and she looked like she went through at least four battalions.

I wanted to smile, I wanted to scream out and call out to her. My body was not letting me, almost making me be a noodle strapped to a table and feeling so weak all over my body. But Andy finally looked over at me, seeing me on the top of the table. Her stiff stance was suddenly loose and almost vulnerable, her machine gun going down at her side as she was looking at me up and down. I could see it in how she was looking at me, distress, and almost pain.

"Oh fuck, Eleanor," She said in pain as she rushed over and stood over me. She looked around frantically, seeing the state I was in with the clothes that I was in and with a shaved head. They had to have been ripped to shreds, barely staying on me and covering me in careful spots. At this point, I'd rather be naked than looking this embarrassing in front of Andy.

But of course, I felt so exposed. Andy then locked her eyes on the IV in my arm with the sedative pumping into me. She reached over, taking it out and I gasped out softly as she framed my face in her hands. I couldn't say anything, though my vision was blurry to see her right over me and her finger against my akin.

"We're here now, okay? We're getting you the fuck out of here, I promise," She said to me, her voice wavering and still out of breath. I could tell she was trying to stay calm. I could feel some tears coming from myself, and yet I was drugged out and couldn't even feel it myself as she then looked over to the door that was still hanging open.

"JOSEPH!" She screamed, my breath was coming out in gasps as she then started to undo the straps there on my feet and hands. I could feel the traps freeing me, finally letting me almost feel my own body flinching on instinct from being in one position for too long.

"I'm so sorry we took so long," Andy started to say to me in a rapid tone as she was trying to think of what to do next, "We're here now, okay? No one's gonna touch you again. I'll rip their arm off if they do," Andy was giving me look over one more time as I heard someone running over into the room. My head was still heavy, but I moved it to the side to see another familiar face, looking at me almost in tears.

Joseph. Oh, Joseph…..

"I need you to carry her, she's too drugged up with whatever they pumped in her," Andy said to him in a commanding tone as she the shrugging off her jacket. I was staring at Joe, seeing him look a bit in shock and almost rage.

"Joseph, look at me!" Andy commanded him, her authoritative voice was back in full force as Joe tore his eyes away from me over to her. Andy finally got her jacket off, "Help me lift her up. I'm gonna cover her up,"

Joseph quickly walked over, still looking at me intently as he then got his hands under my armpits, slowly and carefully lifting me from the waist up and have me in a sitting position. I grunted, my head almost falling back as Joe cradled it instantly as he had me rest against his front. I could feel some of the drug wearing off in me, but I was still out of it as Andy was trying to get me covered in her jacket she was wearing.

"Where are the others?" Andy asked him as I was finally in her jacket. It was warm, her unique smell was all over the fabric and once I inhaled it, I closed my eyes in relief from just having something from Andy against me like a shield.

"Booker and Nico are out front," Joseph said, his voice rumbling against my chest and it was another familiar feeling of safety. It almost felt I was an infant and he was holding me up from slamming my head on the ground.

"Let me check and make sure it's clear," Andy said to Joseph as she cocked her gun and walked over to the door, leaving me to still be against Joseph since I had no strength left in me. I blinked rapidly, finally finding my voice for the first time at that moment of this recuse.

"Joseph," I said his name, my voice sounding like mud and gravel at the same time as Joe pulled away to look at me with his own eyes. He too looked beyond hurt to see me like this, almost in pain from the state I was in. I wanted to reach out and hug him, or at least touch his face that was always so kind to see if this was real. Joseph was about to cry from seeing me like this, which made this all worse.

"You're okay, Eleanor," He reassured me, his usual kind voice was wavering as he could tell how messed up I looked. It felt like he was trying to hold it together, "You're not gonna be in danger here anymore, I won't let it happen."

"Where….is he," I gasped out in a heavy breath, thinking that he was somewhere near. It was bad at this point, having me wonder when I was going to see him next and go through another round of torment and pain. Joseph looked at me, not understanding what I was saying before Andy finally walked back over to the both of us.

"We'll make sure he gets buried in the ocean where he belongs," Andy grunted towards me as she then turned her gaze over to Joe, "I'll cover you, just make sure we get her to the truck in once piece."

"Got it, Boss," Joseph said to her as he then looked down at me, "I got you, here we go,"

He got his arm under my legs, his other arm against my lower back, and hoisted me up in his embrace. My hand behind Joe was clutching his jacket, feeling a bit more strength coming back as I had my head against his chest and he was walking the both of us over to the door. There was nothing else for me to do but to hope and pray that both Joseph and Andy were going to get me out of there, get me over to the others, and get me somewhere safe.

Andy went out first, Joseph and I were right behind her as we were following her close through what looked like carnage in the hallway. I squinted against Joe's embrace, seeing the flickering lights on the ceiling and even one of the lights swaying in its last string. I then looked down, seeing what seemed to be at least ten bodies all over the floor, bullets in most of them, and others have broken limbs.

"Don't look, Eleanor," Joseph urged me as we were weaving through the bodies on the floor. I craned my look up at him as he was trying not to trip while holding me.

"How many ….. were there?" I groaned out to him.

"Not enough to stop us," Joseph replied shortly to me as we were towards the end of the hallway. Andy had her gun out at the ready as she looked back at the both of us, seeing that Joe was still holding me carefully. I wish I could help them out in getting out of my nightmare, but then again, I was both physically and mentally drained, my brain was still fuzzing in and out. Whatever did happen to me in the past few days, some I could remember and some I couldn't, it was making me feel less of myself.

Before Andy could open the door, a sudden nauseous wave of energy was gone in me, maybe a side effect of whatever the doctor had me on. I felt my head feeling lighter and my eyelids going down.

I passed out cold.

It sounded like I was in a truck when I opened my eyes.

I was sprawling out on a bench in the back of a military truck, feeling like I was wrapped in some kind of military blanket and a jacket was under my head as a pillow. I was warm, for the first time in a few days since I was taken from the others at the camp, almost like I was in some kind of cocoon. The rumbling of the truck going down what seemed to be a paved road, the coolness of the air around me as I blinked and could see faintly what was going on around me, and hear it too.

"She's still going to be out of it for a while, longer than we thought," I could hear Andy faintly as she was towards the front, maybe driving, "They drugged her up for too long and she might be going through withdrawals."

"How bad was it?" Booker asked from somewhere in the front of the truck, his voice sounding uneasy.

"Let's not talk about it right now," Andy said to him in a warning tone, but not viciously, "We got her out fo there and took care of the soldiers there."

"And the Doctor?" Booker asked, which was when I finally heard something shift near my head. I wanted to crane my neck to see who it was, but there was no need because I finally saw who it was. They knelt in front of me, the face I saw had me feel queasy all over again.

Nico

My whole body was aching, even with all of the wounds healed up and nothing to see on the surface. I could feel my bones breaking, my breath coming out shallow and my senses dull. But something inside of me was numb and lonely, it snapped those days ago when I was first tortured. Nothing seemed bright, nothing made me feel relief, and all I could do was look ahead and just breathe. Breathe and hope the this was no nightmare.

"Eleanor?" Nico asked me softly, placing a gentle hand on my neck to see if I was going to respond to him. My brain was back in that room, feeling those moments of pain all over again. Again…and again….and again.

"You're alright now, you're safe," Nico tried again, thinking that I was going to say something back to him. There was hope in his eyes, hope and some pain because of what happened to me. But I was quiet, not saying a word as I could see the doctor in my head in repeat and feel the phantoms of pain under my skin where he pierced me or took me apart.

"Is she alright?" Joseph's voice came from somewhere, sounding a bit concerned as Nico was looking a bit more desperate to get some kind of reaction out of me. He was searching my eyes intently, though I was giving a blank stare. I had no notion to speak or reaction, my head was going back to that subspace of defeat.

"She's in shock, Nico," Andy said in the driver's seat, "She's….not all there,"

Nico looked away from me over to where Andy was, his hand still on my neck, and was looking confused at the notion.

"I don't understand—" He started, but Booker cut him off.

"What you felt after enduring a battle and torture is something that takes time, Nico," Booker said softly from the passenger seat, saying nothing else on the notion as Nico carefully looked back at me, trying to read my face and see if it was true. Maybe it was, how I never went through a physical battle but a mental one. I thought I was strong all this time, I thought I've seen the worse in people when it came to wars and blackened hearts.

But this…this was something else.

I was alone in my thoughts for the next week.

Andy took us to a warehouse that we bought from a local farmer and his family right before World War I. We would use it to go hide out from the enemies that tried to get to us. But now it was quiet, and although the weather was good and soothing for a broken soul, I was still lost.

As soon as I got to the house, Andy got me in clean clothes she swiped for me and got a warm shower to take the edge off. The others were just watching, both in stunned silence and shock, not knowing what to do. I felt clean again on the outside, though all of what I was feeling and experiencing on the inside felt tainted and stained. My brain was having me go back and forth, feeling the pain and seeing his face.

I finally fell to my knees and wept.

All of those emotions that were bottle dup within me as I was feeling myself break on that table were pouring out of me and making me almost gasp out with no breath and no sensation of peace. The others could only watch in horror as I was on my knees, my face hidden in my hands and I was hunched over almost in prayer, weeping and sobbing into my hands. I went from being silent and almost like a zombie to openly crying and being in mourning.

Finally, I could feel familiar arms around me and holding me in such a soft and protective manner. I felt one arm going around me in the front and I clutched that arm that cradled me and made me somewhat center.

"I've got you," Heard Nico whisper brokenly in my shaved head as I was still crying, letting it all out, "I got you, it's alright now."

But it wasn't. None of it was alright.

I barely slept, every time I would try to sleep or attempt to sleep, I would get vivid and insane nightmares. I would wake up screaming bloody murder in the dead of night, the last thing I would remember was that doctor's face almost pressed against me as he was looking at me in a grin. The others were petrified that something bad was happening, and there were plenty of times I would go to the bathroom and vomit nothing but water and air. Every time that would happen, someone who was right behind me to hold my shoulders carefully and just let me empty it all.

The others would watch me sit still in the small sitting room near the back garden and stare out into the open air with nothing to say or to do. The days would go by without me realizing, forgetting when Joe placed the blanket over my shoulders, of when Booker gave me a small portion of his lunch that he couldn't finish or the long and gentle looks from Nico as he was trying to find a way to help me. They gave me space, but I knew they were chomping at the bit in hopes of helping me in some way.

"Give her time, Nico," Andy said behind me in a soft tone, thinking that I wasn't going to hear. She was talking with Nico since Joseph and Booker were getting supplies from a nearby town and some groceries. Nico was growing more concerned about what was going on with me, seeing me close to being borderline depressed. There was a part of me wanted to break out of it, out fo this funk that I was going through, but it was no use.

"I don't know what we can do…what I can do…" Nico mumbled in defeat, sounding miserable himself.

"Nothing," Andy answered, "Not right now. We need to give her space and time. Trust me, Nico. It's all we can do."

It also for about a week.

One morning I finally got out of some kind of funk I was in, still trying to get back to a normal spot when it came to eating my meals with the others and walking around the garden outside, not just sitting still all day. The rest of the group was a bit glad that I was at least attempting to come back to them when it came to reality and such, though it was going to be baby steps.

This morning I was eating a quiet breakfast with Joseph, who was reading a local paper at the small table. Booker and Andy left early that morning, not telling us where they were going and how long they were going to be gone. But they were fine together, even when they would butt heads constantly.

"Is your breakfast good?" Joseph asked, hopefully seeing me smile. I gave him a small nod, taking a bite from my fruit that I diced and ate some toast. We heard footsteps behind me as it stopped and a coffee cup was placed on the table next to my food. I looked up, seeing Nico walking over to sit in the chair next to Joseph, giving me a shy smile. I could see it on his face in how he was trying so hard not just to talk to me…but to not scare me away.

"Though this might make you feel better," he said, sounding like his usual cheerful self. I grabbed the cup carefully, holding it up to my nose briefly to take in a deep breath. Just breathing it alone was making my insides feel a bit warmer and soothing al over my bone and all over my skin. I took a good deep gulp, the warmth was intensified as I gave Nico a small smile.

"Thank you, Nico," I said in a small tone, though I smiled as he then smiled back too. It was a good olive branch, and I knew it was an olive branch because it was how Nico worked. For a brief moment, it was peaceful and calm for the three of us, like it used to be. I thought it was going to be some kind of hope that I might have made a good turn.

Then our front door was thrown open, both Booker and Andy came in almost in a huff. All three of us watched as they looked determined about something. I saw something in Andy's hand, it looked like a file, and once they were in the room, there was tension in the air. Booker saw me at the table, eating some breakfast and he grinned.

"You're eating this morning? Good for you," he said in a sincere tone, though he was short-lived when Andy walked over to me and the others at the table. I noticed how she looked a bit stiff in how she walked, holding the file in her hands in a death grip as she was finally standing over me. I felt as though I was going to get some bad news from her, the or some horrendous secret as her bright eyes were looking right at me.

"Booker and I went back to the camp," She said to me, having me look at her intensely since it felt like I was surely going to go from having a good day to a bad day again. All three of us at the table looked at both of them with wide eyes, both Joseph and Nico shifted in their seats.

"You what?" Nico asked, sounding a bit shocked. It was like he was offended, though it involved me.

"We needed to tie up some loose ends," Andy explained to him, looking at him briefly before she looked back at me. I was still quiet, though now my inner wall and defense mechanism was about to come through again.

"What are you talking about, Andy?" Joseph asked as Booker was shifting on his feet, avoiding eye contact with us as he stayed by the front door. I was still looking right at Andy, nowhere else, since it felt like she was about to take out the carpet underneath me.

"We found something back there…the file they had on you," She explained to me as she then placed the file on the table, right next to my breakfast. I was frozen, not knowing what to do since I could see how there were pictures and papers that were about me. I knew there had to be a file there, the doctor wanting to record everything he did to me and how he did it. It was rotten and it was like jumping in the Arctic Ocean and growing briefly. My breath was lost and my eyes were so still on the papers.

"We had to make sure that they wouldn't find us with what's written about you," Andy explained to me as I placed my hands on the table, mere inches from the file. I was so tempted to look, and yet the other part of me wanted to burn it there on the table. It was so heavy on my shoulders and my chest, making me feel like I was about to suffocate.

"You don't need to read it," Nico reminded me, placing a hand on my arm and seeing how still I was and not looking anywhere else but the file. I knew he was looking out for me, but all that time I was there, I didn't know precisely what did happen to me or how it happened. I was torn down the middle, the others were watching me in pure hesitance and genuine fear in how I was going to react.

"Maybe this was a bad idea," Andy said, about to reach over and grab the file. I swiftly grasped it in my hands, getting up from my chair and opening the top to start reading briefly and fast. The others were quiet, beyond quiet as I walked over to the opening into the garden, flipping through the pages and seeing briefly some of the experiments that happened to me. I remembered some of these and seeing it all on paper like I was a specimen. I was floored in what I read, seeing the detailed body chart and where I was pierced…stabbed…sliced….

But towards the end, one sentence had me look up and at the garden, the file and papers inside falling out from my fingers and onto the ground. Thunder was heard in the distance as it started to sprinkle in rain. One word was etched on my brain now as I felt another wave of rage hitting me all over. Not even thinking about it, my hands rested over my lower stomach and I had my eyes shut.

Sterile. I was now sterile.