Pigna, France

The villa was a dream. It felt like a dream.

They had a sprawling house that was mere feet away from a cliff overlooking the sea. The house itself was very old, but with plenty of work and upkeep through the years they've had it, Joe and Nicky kept it in good shape to last a bit longer. Joe was quite proud to give Oliver and I the grand tour as Nicky was getting things arranged and ready to make dinner for us that night, allayed being busy and humming to himself as he turned on the radio that was on the kitchen counter. They were so domestic that it was almost nauseating.

The open living room with massive couches and a loveseat that all faced the ocean with the massive bay windows and curtains flowing in the wind, small blankets were sprawled out on the arms of the couches along with pillows showed me that there were plenty of nights of either one of them or both of them sleeping out in the living room. Their kitchen was perfect for a cook like Nicky, a little cramped but every piece of equipment had a spot and place. The stove was connected to the island in the middle of the kitchen, pans honing overhead on racks and their pantry tucked in the corner with their spices and staples. There was even a smaller closet that we turned into their wine cellar, which had plenty of wine already waiting for us to use.

The house had 3 bedrooms, one den had had a pull out bed from the couch and the TV that I assumed was for watching sports, 2 bathrooms, and one powder room near the kitchen. There was also a small reading room tucked away near Nicky and Joe's bedroom, nice and small but filled to the brim with books and documents they collected.

They had a small separate guest house tucked away in the back near the herb garden, the building was surrounded by lavender and sweet honeysuckle. The guest house used to be a garden shed but they rebuilt it for sleeping quarters, making a brand new shed a bit closer to the front of the house. Near the back of the house stood a sprawling patio and a staircase that lead down to a somewhat seen path that could be taken to the private beach with the walk that took about 4 minutes to and from.

Once we were down with the tour, Joe invited us to get our things settled and get some rest in for Andy and Nile returned from their adventure in town. It felt like both Oliver and I breathed in the sea air was getting our shoulders to unwind slightly and feel at rest. I could see it on Oliver's face as he was watching the waves roll through on the beach below, his mind wassail turning with all that is new. He was at the patio, holding a glass of water in his hand as I walked over to him, hoping to understand a bit more from him.

"It's a lovely home," I hummed, seeing him look away from the beach and over to me, a small smile on his lips.

"It's very lovely," he said in agreement, "And this isn't a safe house, is it?"

"Not at all," I reassured him, "With us, especially with Andy, safe houses are places we can lay low for a short amount of time before we move on with the next job or assignment. This place, and a house I have out more inland in France, it more of our actual home, or a feeling of a home," I explained, seeing him think about it and take a drink of his water, "As long as we hide in the shadows, away from the world, what good is it not to have a place to call home,"

"It makes sense," He commented.

"Plus, we're gonna stay here a bit longer now. There's no mission to go on or any assigned we were given. Andy wants to train you and get you ready in case something does come along, it'll be natural for you then," I explained some more as he then gave me grave look. Almost like he was afraid.

"I'm not…I don't think," He tried, but it wasn't coming out. I just watched him, sensing how he was stumbling around a bit in his head, "This is all weird for me, being an Immortal and all and…I don't know why it had to be me. I don't feel like I'm a fighter or warrior, I'm just…me. Whoever the fuck that is,"

This internal struggle he was going through made me feel a bit sad for him. Settling into a new life, no longer allowed to see his family and see them all age and grow old. It was killing him slowly from the inside out and how it was all thrust upon him. I had to find a way to show him how it wasn't all so bad.

"I think you are a warrior," I said to him kindly, seeing him give me an intense stare, "Warriors start from somewhere, all of them do. You fought in the military, you fought for what you thought was right and good. To me, that's a true mark of a warrior and how a warrior functions. The rest will come in time, and we'll be there to help you," I saw a small glint in his eyes as I was telling him all of these things, the word of affirmation were enough for him at that moment. I remembered in the past, in his dreams that we shared, that he felt alone and was in pain. Maybe, all of us being there together, would change that for the better for him,

"Oliver, Eleanor! Come inside, the girls are here!" Nicky called from inside the house, both Oliver and I looked over to see him inside waving at us to come in as Joe was going out the front door. I grinned, looking back at Oliver and nudging him slightly with my shoulder.

"Take it day by day," I said to him, seeing him give me a small smile, "That's all you can do for now on. The rest will come, I promise it will,"

"Thanks, Eleanor," he thanked, having me smile and squeeze his forearm within my fingers very briefly before I walked away from him. I could have sworn I felt him watching me as I walked away, but I was still feeling a bit better in tasing some of that uncertainty that he was experiencing.

Even with that flicker, I felt within my chest.

We ate Nicky's homemade pasta outside on the patio as the sun was going down, all 6 of us huddled around the outside dining table with good spirits as the crisp air was coming through the open house. Joe poured the wine, all of us leaning back in our chairs with full stomachs and light conversation about the villa. Andy was the only one who knew about the villas, whereas the rest of us were asking questions about the surrounding land.

Nicky and Joe found this place on a limb from coming through during a mercenary stakeout that was taking place not too far away, the both of us loving the charm and timeless feel it had. After their mission, they both walked over to see that it was long forgotten, the previous owner and his family left after an earthquake came through. They bought the house and property, fixing it up and giving breathing some life back into the walls and floorboards.

Ever since then, they planted the Lemon and Olive trees in the orchard in front of the villa, paid their housekeeper his family anonymously to keep it stable and livable in case they wanted to come back for a few weeks at a time. The housekeeper took care of the home and surrounding area, and in return, they were paid handsomely to stay afloat.

It was such a lovely story to hear.

Once the plates were taken and washed, we all went with our wine glasses in hand to the living room as Andy finally spoke up on the serious matter at hand.

"We can stay here for a few months, maybe, so we can get Oliver trained and ready in case someone else comes along," She explained to the group as she looked at Oliver. He was sitting next to me, clutching his glass in a death grip from the near notion of going through some intense training. The rest of us could sense it, even Andy, and she gave him an attempt of a warm smile.

"We'll go slow," She reminded him from her spot in a chair, "Basics in fighting, learning new languages, all of that. We'll have a good amount of time to go slow and not rush anything, but I want you to understand," He played, seeing how Oliver was watching her intensely as she leaned forward on her elbows that were resting on her legs, "I wanna make sure you can handle yourself in anything that could come your way for now on. You have military training, which is a plus, but it's not the same fo what you'll go through in the future."

"I understand," Oliver agreed, nodding his head as he slightly paused, "I don't want to be slow…or a burden about it, though," There was a twinge of empathy through all of us in how he said it and was looking at Andy. Maybe he thought he had to live up to her expectations instantly, and to be honest, Andy had that bar up real high all of these years before there was never an Immortal that came so quickly. Booker was the last one, but now that both Nile and Oliver were in the mix and they became Immortals so fast that it threw off the rhythm of the group.

Thankfully, Nile was the one to bring it back.

"You won't," Nile reassured him as she was sitting in a loveseat next to the both of us, "We'll all help you,"

"Of course we will," Nicky hummed in agreement, Joe nodding his head at Oliver. Oliver then reluctantly looked over at me as I was sitting next to him. I gave him a warm smile, knowing that I already voiced my opinion about it earlier with him that day out on the patio. I knew Oliver believed me, what I told him. But I felt like he needed to hear it from me again.

"We will be with you throughout all of this," I explained calmly and with kindness. I knew he had to hear it not just from me but from all of us in the group. I knew Andy's concern, she wasn't going to stay around for that much longer, and she needed to make sure that this group will keep going and carry one without her when that time came. Andy told Oliver about that downside to all of this, and seeing his face was enough for me to see that all of this new reality for him might have been a bit much.

We all knew, including Oliver, that her time was limited, but none of them knew that Andy and talked about the safety of Nile and how I had to protect. Now it was going to be the same with Oliver. Nicky and Joe would still be there, but in comparison to them, I was closer in age to both Nile and Oliver. They'll look to me, and I'll be there for them.

"How about we relax for a few days," Andy suggested with Oliver, all of us looking at her and see the tough demeanor that she would usually have started to unwind a bit, "And then we can get into training, proper mercenary training, okay?"

Oliver nodded his head, the mood in the room was a bit lighter then. I knew then that we were going to be fine.

That very first night I had a panic attack, all from a nightmare.

I dreamt I was back on the metal table, being stabbed over and over again by the same doctor, seeing his glint fo a smile in my head as he was killing me again….again…..again.

I woke up in a cold sweat, feeling the phantom pains from the dream. I was in darkness, my room only lit by the moonlight and the only sound that was heard were the rolling waves from the ocean not too far away. My window was wide open, having me see the stars twinkling in the stars and blinking lightly against the blackness of the sky.

Nicky had me stay in one of the bedrooms, Nile in the second bedroom, and Andy stayed in the guesthouse on her own. Oliver was more than content staying in the den with the pull-out couch, having his own space and room to unwind. And with Nicky and Joe in the master bedroom to themselves, we were all tucked away for the night.

My feet were carrying me before I could even stop myself, walking out of my bedroom, down the hallway, and out in the back patio of the house. The house was silent and still as I felt the cool night again my skin. My mind felt like it slipped away again, having me remember those moments all the years ago, and they weren't leaving my head as I was leaning against the railing.

I felt it along my skin, the pull of a needle for the drag of a scalpel. My bones ached from the past moments they were broken or snapped, and my head was spinning with the memories that plagued me. I knew I was in a safe place, away from there and away from danger, I knew it, but my brain was tricking me into thinking that I wasn't safe anymore. Like, 80 years never went by and I was back being held against my will like a lab rat. The iron railing in front of me was pressed against my lower stomach, having me look down at where my stomach was being indented into the iron rail.

Sterile. Barren for the rest of my Immortal life.

This was always a constant battle for me to get over, to let it pass me by. If I was a normal, mortal woman, I should be devastated. But yet, I challenged myself if there was ever a time when I thought I wanted to be a mother. Was it that bad? Was I conditioned as a woman to yearn to bear children and raise them? It never crossed my mind until it was taken from me, anti felt like not only I was robbed, but violated at the same time.

I wanted this allot be over, to no longer be stuck on a loop in my head and making me feel weak time and time again. The first time, I was angry, pushing the others away and wanting to be alone. The second time, back in Bern after I killed The Wolf, it was draining and I felt so weak and numb. But now, going through the phases motions of the after-effects, I didn't know what it was.

The Wolf made it all come back, and I regretted it.

I lowered my head against the railing, grasping it with both hands for dear life I felt my own body betraying me like I was drowning and gasping for air. It was harder to breathe now, since every time I tried I felt myself die again. I slammed my eyes shut, seeing it all play out as I was trying to breathe but it sounded like a sob. It felt like I was drowning, over and over trying to get a breath in but my lungs were filled with water. It made me think of Quynh, how she experience that in real life for centuries on end. Another breath was me taking a bullet to the heart, I took another breath and I was being waterboarded for minutes and minutes on end.

Breathe….stabbed in the lower stomach

Breathe….My skin peeling off

Breathe… Extracting my bone marrow

Breathe…being violated by one of the soldiers

Breathe…sterile…sterile…..sterile…

I opened my eyes, tears pouring down my face and a hand was on my back, very gentle and calm as I was looking out at the sea. My hands were still in an iron grip on the railing. I hung my head, my shoulder blades were up and my shoulders were against my ears as the hand on my back was gentle and steady. I knew that touch, and I cringed thinking that I made him wake up.

"How bad is it?" I heard behind me, a warm and yet gravely tone.

I gulped, another wave of tears wanted to surface and come down my cheeks. I was watching the ocean, seeing the waves come in and out with ease because of the moon's energy and gravity. It made me want to vomit, it made me want to escape my brain and get all of those notions out of my head into the world to just take it all away from me. But I finally found my voice.

"I was back there," I said in a hoarse tone, my eyes were wet and my hands were shaking on the railing, "I felt everything….everything he did to me…what they did to me."

I cringed when I voiced it, already knowing it to be true, and how it was raw and within my chest, bursting out at the seams and through my pores. I could feel it in my throat in how it felt like I was being swallowed whole, no longer able to breathe. I could feel myself about to hyperventilate on the spot, going through another panic attack as I then felt my knees wanting to buckle underneath me.

A second hand reached over to grab my hand from the railing, lacing our fingers together with palm to palm as I was trying to breathe. The hand on my back was rubbing soothing circles along my back, putting enough pressure before sprawling out his fingers against my back.

"Take a good breath with me," He said calmly to me, having me feel the pressure of the hand on my back and his hand in my own. I closed my eyes, they were already hurting from my tears, as I was trying to take slow even breaths. It was hard a first before I felt some shuffling around to my left side where my laced hand was then pressed against a solid chest, right near the heart.

"Breathe with me, Eleanor," he said again, not demanding but soft. I felt his breath beneath my fingers as I tried to breathe just like him. It took a few times before I did get the hang of it and finally felt my heartbeat going down. My throat was opening back up again, and those memories were slowly going back into my brain for now. After what felt like a dozen breaths were taken, I finally stood up and sighed. Opening my eyes again and looking over to my left, seeing who was there to help me through this panic attack. His face was bathed in the moonlight, showing the softness in his eyes and the slight bags that were seen underneath from his slumber.

Joe.

He was staring me, looking so concerned and yet gentle with me as we were standing there together, side by side. He was wearing a shirt and boxers for his pajamas, his hair was showing clear cases of bed head but it looked perfect for him in the dead of night. Lowering my hand from his chest, I rubbed my arm to keep myself warm. I knew what he was thinking, and I was afraid he was going to say it out loud. I was cringing it, but I knew it had to be said from him none the less.

"How long have you been dealing with this?" he asked, sounding so concerned about it as his hand that was on my back was gently going up and down my spine for more comfort on my end. I took in a major deep breath, giving him an honest look.

"A few times a month, ever since it happened," I admitted to him, seeing the pain on his face as he was registering it all. His face and eyes went from curiosity to concern within seconds. Of course, it sounded insane, how I would have to deal with theses kind pf panic attacks a few times every month for the past 80 years. At first, it was downright crazy and made me feel even more delusional about myself in how I was dealing with it. But as the years went on, being on my own, I did plenty of research on surviving trauma and the tall tell signs of severe trauma.

"Eleanor," he said in such a sad tone, searching my eyes with his brown orbs, "You should have said something to us,"

"That's the problem, Joe," I commented, "It's all in my head anyhow. There wouldn't have been anything you and the others could do in help."

"You don't know that," he said urgently, though I shook my head.

"One of the common traits and symptoms to PTSD is panic attacks and flashbacks to the event," I explained, sniffling a bit as I wiped my nose with the back of my hand. Joe looked at me confused as I dryly chuckled, "I found out I'm suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, technically I was diagnosed with it back in the 1950s when I started going to Medical School out in London,"

"Oh Eleanor," He said in a sorrowful tone, but I kept going.

"I thought I could handle it on my own," I said, looking down at my bare feet that stood next to his, "I thought…I thought I was getting better at it. But this whole thing with The Wolf…how he said I was barren….it made me remember it all. It triggered me….and it didn't really hit me hard until I got my nightmare just now. I don't know why I can't…I just can't get over it," I tried to catch a tear that's escaping but it was too late, having me see it fall and hit the spot between Joe and me on the ground. Joe was standing so still, and as I watched him, I could see him unfolding to pure sadness and empathy for me.

"Sorella," he said in a low tone, pulled me into his arms, and having me rest my head against his chest, his chin on top of my head as his arms engulfed me in such protection it made my heartache. We were slightly swaying in the cold as I wrapped my arms around his waist and I felt my hair pick up in the wind.

"What that man did to you was wrong beyond words," he said to me in our embrace, "There was no sign of decency in him, and that fact that he did all of those things to you…I could have killed him with my own two hands,"

"Joe, please—" I wanted to beg him not to say such things since it sounded so cruel coming from Joe, but he shook his head against my own.

"You're my sister, Eleanor. Your heart is far too kind for this world, and for that to be tainted by such evil…it kills me knowing that he tried to do that to you. And now to hear you went through these nightmares and…these attacks on your own. It breaks my heart," He explained as he hugged me a pinch tighter as I did the same, breathing him in and closing my eyes in the process, "But it also shows me how strong you are. Your strength inside of you makes me yearn to have that in my life,"

"But you do," I reasoned, "You're strong,"

"My strength mostly comes from Nicky, I'll admit to that. But you have your strength on your own and you use it to your advantage and for goodwill. I only wish I can take this pain you feel,"

"I know," I reassured him, "I know you would, and the others too."

"Please don't keep us in the dark with is," Joe pleaded with me as I cringed a bit in hearing the pain in his voice, "We can find a way to ease this for you….to make this easier for you."

"I've been researching some online sources the last couple of years," I admitted to him calmly, "Those have helped me with the past couple of episodes that I had. A technology perk I guess,"

Joe briefly chuckled as I took in a rather large breath, almost snuggling into him some more as we were still wrapped in each other. It felt oddly safe with Joe, he had that trait about him that I loved so dearly.

"Does Nicky know you're out here with me?" I had to ask sheepishly, already thinking of the worst and now I was going to get this kind of treatment from Nicky later one.

"No," Joe replied," I was the one who woke up. I had to get water from the kitchen when I saw you come out here alone. At first, I thought you were sleepwalking, you used to do that every once in a while, remember?"

I had to chuckle, "Yes, and it almost got me in trouble a few times. Poor Nicky, he thought that I was going to walk into the ocean when I did that in Nassau," Joe laughed silently too, having me feel a pinch better by all of this. It was on the tip of my tongue and I was so afraid to ask him since I felt like I already knew the answer. But Joe pressed a gentle kiss on my forehead.

"I won't say anything to Nicky until you're ready," he reassured me, having me grin against his chest, "I won't tell anyone else. It's for you to decide, but I do hope you know that we all love and care for you. Even Oliver,"

"He barely knows me," I said in a low tone, "And he would see me as a freak,"

"Ah," Joe sighed, "I highly doubt that. Oliver has an optimistic soul, and has gentleness within it that I see when he talks to you,"

"I don't see that," I wanted to argue since I was still trying to keep that space between Oliver and I. It was so soon for me to think of such things, but hearing it from Joe made it almost a bit too real for me.

"Of course you don't, but we all do. Trust me, Eleanor, you're doing right by him," Joe reminded me. I said nothing else with that as we both were still wrapped up in each other and standing there on the patio. I needed this, some sense of comfort from someone else, and it was what I was missing the past 80 years or so when I was alone in the world.

Those nights were scary, not knowing how to handle it and calm myself down. But as the years went by, learning the tricks to going through something like this thanks to my research in Medical School, it slowly got better. But this, being held by someone whom I considered my brother and my family, was even better.

"We should go inside," I said, almost like a suggestion, because I felt like this was going to be awkward for him to hold me as if we were lovers when his lover was sleeping in their room.

"Not yet, just a bit longer out here," Joe reassured me as one of his arms was around my shoulders and his other arm was lower, but not too low. I had to grin against his shirt.

"Are you trying to woo me?" I asked him, feeling a smile against my head, "Sorry to tell you, but you're about 600 years too late, and I happen to like our better half,"

"I would never dare," he replied as I squeezed him slightly in how sincere he sounded with me, "He is my better half, and I have been beyond blessed with Nicky. But I also have been blessed by you, Sorella. I'll tell you over and over until I'm blue in the face and you'll be sickened by me: you're my tribe and family. Noting less than that will be acceptable for me,"

"For one, I'll never get sickened by you," I countered, leaning back a bit to look up at him and he was gazing at me with a loving smile, "And secondly….thank you. I needed to hear that tonight,"

I never thought I would show this side of me to Joe, let alone the others before. I didn't know if it was a sense of pride within me, not wanting to be completely exposed to them. I trusted them with my life, they knew more about me in ways that I didn't know about myself.

They knew my favorite pasts dish, my favorite flowers, my favorite classical music pieces, but they also knew the deeper stuff. They knew how the suds fo rain reminded me of the earlier years of my Immortal life and how it was lonely, how I would try to help the children more than the adults when children were involved in battles and wars. They knew how I would still pray in small churches and chapels when we would cross them, and they knew how my heart would still be both tender and then tough at the same time.

But they still loved me.

"You're very welcome," Joe replied to me in his softer smile I ever saw him in. I needed that reminder, and I wasn't going to forget it ever again.