A/N: Not much going on in this chapter history wise, but the plot does move forward a lot. Hope you like it, pretty people!
Historical facts:
1. Men who respected the emperor but also served the shogun had the saying "revere the emperor and the shogun". Those were Sabaku.
2. Joui movement, (sonno joui) had the motto of "revere the emperor, expel the barbarians". They were called Tobaku.
3. Saitou Hajime, originally Yamaguchi Hajime, was the son of Yamaguchi Yuusuke. At eighteen years of age, he accidentally killed a hatamoto and had to flee Edo, in 1862, resulting in him entering the Roshigumi.
Timeline: June 1863.
A fine lady...
...and information gathering.
"Greetings gentlemen; my name is Ochako. I am here on behalf of my lady, Takagi Tokio-sama, who wishes to give you these as a way to show her gratitude."
The twenty year old was standing in the middle of Hijikata's room, who was forced by her to summon all of his men that attended the feast yesterday there, to give them something. When two more servants came in with baskets in their hands, Hijikata was certain what they were about to receive was food.
Really now? Food? They ate enough yesterday! And why so many baskets only for six people?
"These baskets these men bring are for every man in the Roshigumi; the ones I am holding are specifically for you. Hijikata-sama already received his; here are yours. May Okita-sama please step forward?"
The short man took a huge step forward delighted; when the girl handed him a basket filled with dango, he smiled excitedly! "I love dango!"
"How fortunate; who is Harada-sama?"
"It's me!" he immediately reached the woman and held out his hands. "Oooh, it's manju for me! Thank you very much."
"Nagakura-sama is the one with the glasses, even I know that," she said as a modest smile reached her lips.
"Aw," Okita immediately complained "Tokio-chan has spoken of you to her, I'm jealous!"
Ochako giggled. "Glasses are hard to forget in general," she opted to say in a diplomatic fashion and bowed as Nagakura bowed, too to receive the sweets.
"I have mochi!" he announced in the end.
"And last but not least, Saitou-sama."
Everyone had a feeling she knew him, too and not because he was the last one. The way she spoke and offered the last basket also was proof; he took it cautiously. Removing the napkin that covered his own sweets, he remained staring. A smile formed on his lips. "Is this karinto?"
"Yes! Mistress did what she thought best for each of you, guessing your general tastes. Was she right?"
"Quite," Saitou answered amused. Karinto was a relatively new and rather peculiar snack; he tried it once when he was young and decided he liked it. How in earth she knew of it and thought it would make a good choice for him was beyond him.
"Yes! Dango is my favourite."
"I enjoy manju a lot, but then again, I like all sorts of sweets!"
Nagakura simply nodded repeatedly, excited to eat something Tokio chose for him.
"But please eat some and tell me what you thought; the lady is very anxious to hear your opinions! Do try and pick the ones at the bottom, though, per lady's request; it is for maximum enjoyment."
Saitou snorted. "Why is she anxious?"
"She would like to know what you think of her cooking of course…!"
But it was Hijikata who found it more unbelievable than anyone. "You mean to tell me Tokio-san made these?"
"Yes; she is an excellent lady, you see, and ladies have to know how to cook. Now please try them and as I said, from the bottom up."
"Aw, she took the time to do this for us! How kind of her. See Saitou-san? You can no longer wonder why I have a soft spot for her."
Rolling his eyes, he reached deep within the basket to pick a sweet snack from the bottom, as Ochako requested; his hands got greasy with all the sugar coating but he decided it was better to get dirty than displease her—even Hijikata humoured her. But when he touched the very last one, he didn't feel the bottom of the basket, no; another texture touched his fingertips. Curious, he stored that information at the back of his mind, and decided to check it later, when he'd be alone.
For now he simply produced the Karinto he was aiming for and took a bite…
Oh, it was good; the karinto was very good. Taking a quick look around, he saw pleasant surprise written on everyone's face, as they chewed their own individual snack with relish. "Tokio-chan is a really good cook!"
Harada nearly cried of happiness. "I love it!"
"Mmm, the red bean paste is excellent, too; give her our regards."
"Indeed, please do," Hijikata added from behind her, idly munching on his own sweet.
Everyone turned to Saitou then, the only one who hadn't expressed an opinion so far; he simply shrugged. "They are edible."
Ochako seemed a little taken aback at his comment, while his friends started complaining; Hijikata tried not to smirk at the man's coolness. Because there was no way he hadn't liked it; he said that just to spite her. Saitou was an amusing man.
"I see; thank you all. I will be going now. Please accept my lady's gratitude once more and if you don't mind, please keep the baskets. Farewell."
"Ochako-chan was cute, Nagakura-san! See how she remembered you? I bet Tokio-chan spoke of all of us to her, but she only remembered you; I think she liked you," were the first words that left anyone's lips, a moment after the girl had properly exited the room.
"I don't think so, Okita-san…"
"No, I agree with Okita! She was completely giving you that look."
"N, no, what are you saying…?"
But as the rest tried to boost his confidence, Saitou wanted to make his own exit.
"You were the only one she remembered, weren't you? Come on, help us out here Saitou!"
"Okita is correct; I saw her giving you a look when she first saw you that day Tokio's fiancé didn't make it."
Nagakura seemed suddenly hopeful. "R-really?"
"Hahaha, Saitou remembers the most trivial things!" Harada joked heartily.
"Yes, really."
Maybe not, he didn't actually remember, but he did remember hearing that name that day, so who would question him? And judging by Okita's thumbs-up gesture, everyone was satisfied, so that's that. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and put these in the kitchen because I doubt Hijikata wants his office turned into a bakery."
He turned around and left without waiting for anyone to follow him; he was way too curious – and suspicious – about what felt like a note at the bottom of his basket. And if it was what he thought it was, he was certain no one else received one, so discretion was advised.
And once he found himself alone, he extracted the paper, now that he could see it, folded in half and flattened, opening it.
I have something I need to give to you; please come at the usual place tonight.
He crumbled the thing in his fists and threw it in the first fire he could find. She would really be the death of him.
.
"What, it wasn't the sweets? Or do you have more?"
"Haijme, lovely to see you again. Did you enjoy them?"
"They were decent." Smirks were exchanged. "I see you're as carefree as ever," he commented "but I guess now that your father is finally gone, you can relax."
"Indeed; also, from what I heard I have at least four months' worth the grace period before I have to worry about another wedding, so I'm happy. Though it is a wedding I called you out here to discuss. Or should I say, a marriage?"
He narrowed his eyes; she seemed proud. Without delay, she reached into her wide sleeves and pulled out two rolled up pieces of paper; one was bigger than the other. "This is a diary of sorts that I kept; it contains dates, events and important happenings. The other one is a note, not of my writing."
"And what should I do with these?"
"Read them of course. The note first please; I think you shall find it very interesting."
Even more suspicious than before, he unrolled the small one; but just as his eyes started darting across the thing, they became too wide! He read it again and again and again! Every time faster yet slower, his brain had getting used to the information yet quite disbelieving of their context. He simply kept staring at it, speechless.
He must have been like that for over two minutes; then, once he was certain this was real, he alternated between the note and her; over and over and over again, until she smiled. His heart beat that was nearly frantic by now, became even faster. He couldn't believe his eyes…
After a very long pause, he finally spoke. "How?" And that was all he could say; he tried more things but failed miserably, due to shock, so he decided not to push his luck with more words.
This was too good to be true.
"How did I come by this note you mean?" He nodded yes; her smirk became wider still. "Maids are extremely loyal to their mistress if treated with respect, even if the lady herself is horrendous to everyone else."
"…what are you saying? Aoi gave you this?"
She nodded no, enjoying every single moment of his stupefied behaviour. "Not to me—my maid. Maids trust other maids."
"And why would she give it to her?"
"Because your wife wanted you to have it; she instructed her to give this only to you or anyone who could come in direct contact with you. Ochako served that purpose—even if it was only through mail."
"What…does the other paper say?"
"I'm guessing it explains whatever was written in your wife's note." There was silence. "So what did your wife write in that note?"
"Don't tell me you didn't actually read it."
"Wh—of course not! It was meant for your eyes only; Aoi went to great lengths to hide this from prying eyes, too so what sort of person would I be if I had?"
He chuckled, still disbelieving of everything. "The note says: something; or anything. Whatever."
She was displeased. "…do not trifle with me. You can just say you don't want me to know, I won't mind."
He smirked. "Ah, you don't understand. The note is these four words: something; or anything. Whatever." Tokio was confused. "It's an inside thing. Can't believe she actually remembered."
Her curiosity was evident.
"Just after we got married, I told her if she was ever serious about calling it quits she shouldn't hesitate to ask for my help. She snorted and protested, claiming she'd never lower herself enough to accept my help, but I persisted and said: just say something; anything. Whatever, I'll listen. Well, she did! And I sure as hell am listening."
"Oh! Then yes, combined with the rest I know it makes perfect sense." He gave her a look. "Read my notes and you'll understand. Take it back home with you and read it there. All shall become clear."
His look was steady and calculating; he was conflicted. "Why are you doing this?"
"Whatever do you mean?"
"You took the time to look into something like this; you delivered to me a note from my wife—you help me in a way that leaves me with a great debt to you…why?"
"You have to ask?" She would have been a tiny bit offended if he wasn't so sincere in his suspicion. "I simply wanted to help you escape a situation that I know how cruel can be. I want nothing in return. Do not speak of debts and other ridiculous things like that."
"This could very well end my marriage to Yaso and not only free me from the union, but give me the chance to demand the divorce in my favour." She nodded affirmatively. "Therefore I am by definition indebted to y—"
"Hajime, stop." She was suddenly sombre, causing him to honour her wishes. "I did this for you, without an ulterior motive; anything I could ask of you, I can ask it from Hijikata-sama, too and it wouldn't make a difference. And I'd never put you in a difficult position. Don't try to see conspiracies that aren't there. I thought you knew me better than that."
"…then why?"
"Because I consider you a good person and a friend…of sorts." She started blushing at his surprise. "Never mind, I did it on a whim! If I tell you I did it for my own selfish reasons will you believe me? As in, to feel better for myself, to feel useful. Alright? I did it to somehow stroke my ego for helping you; there! That's what it is."
He looked at her for a long time; she held his gaze stubbornly. No matter how truly vulnerable he felt, he tried to appear as casual as possible—and by her reaction, he was succeeding. He then looked at the note and the still rolled up diary; back at her. His hand; back at her; his hand…
"Idiot," he snapped then and she watched as his hand landed on her head. "Don't concern yourself with other people's problems. You have enough of your own."
He smirked because this wasn't what she wanted to hear; it was obvious by her puffed up cheeks and her hands that came to be crossed in front of her chest in the ultimate show of headstrong will.
"But thank you." He removed his hand. "I don't think you realise what this means for me—our entire unit even. This could…help with many issues, if used properly."
Finally, a proper response. "You are most welcome. But it better be used first and foremost for what I intended it, mister."
"Oh don't you worry for a second; once I read this thoroughly, all will be as they should." He shot her a meaningful look. "You orchestrated this after…" he couldn't say after I spilled my guts to you his pride would be hurt too much "that night?"
That was the closest he could get.
"No; I started putting it together a little after-…um, just as I was getting my kimono fitted in fact. The idea came to me on its own but Teruhime-sama helped me, too."
"Of course she did. Huh; was this why she was asking me what would I do if I wasn't married?"
Tokio's eyes widened in disbelief. "She said that? Oh my, how bold of her!" She shook her head. "She means well; please don't take her wrong."
"Shouldn't she be the one saying that for you? I mean, look at you, out of bed at this hour again…"
"But I didn't want people to know…"
He must have been taking pleasure in her shyness because his smirk was crooked again. "You did put that note in the basket; you could have instead put these in there with an extra one where you'd be explaining the situation to me."
Her cheeks coloured. "But I wanted to deliver them in person and there was no other way than this."
"See? Ego." She pouted. "I'm not saying it's a bad thing…not always."
She couldn't make him out right now, and it bothered her; he said mean things but in a kind tone and kind things in a mean tone. What did he think of this anyway? She simply stood there, trying to understand his amusement at her plight. But then he shook his head as if he knew something she didn't and pocketed the two papers.
"You are a good person, too;" he finally said after a small deliberation "even if you are a fine lady."
And then he did something she had never seen him do before: with all ceremony, he took three steps back and bowed so deeply she was the taller one.
Her mouth hang a little.
They remained like that for what felt like forever even if it was only a matter of seconds; once she had found her voice again, she rushed to make him stand with stuttered suggestions and shy stammering, but he did it only when he felt like it. Her red cheeks were cute; the way she averted her eyes every other second was endearing. Her sudden stuttering was lovable. Okita was right; Saitou could finally see why he had a soft spot for her.
"Tokio."
"H-Hajime…"
After a beat of nothing but staring at each other, they both turned about and went their separate ways.
.
"And the black sheep returns to the fold."
Every hair on Saitou's body stood at attention! He had but three seconds he stepped into the room, but he was being called out. Okita's voice put him on full alert but he didn't turn around, pretending nothing was amiss.
"Or should we say the wolf returns to the pack after what must have undoubtedly been a night of debauchery?"
But finally, he knew how to deal with this.
He snorted. "Debauchery? Maybe you confuse me with yourself, Harada."
Harada wasn't put off by his schemes though and Nagakura was quick to take the others' side by literally standing next to them with poise. "Don't play dumb! Why would you tell us one thing when we left and then do another? There was a woman involved, a woman!"
"Aye, there was; here." He reached into his sleeve and produced his wife's note. "Read it."
All three men were instantly affronted that he would ever receive a love letter and grabbed it with haste; Okita took it, the other two standing over his shoulder, and read…and all three were suddenly stumped. "What's this?"
"Are you messing with us?"
"It does look like a woman's brushwork though…" Nagakura supplemented.
"It is; Yaso's."
Everyone looked at him shocked. "Yaso is in Kyoto?" Okita asked confused
"And you sneaked off to meet your wife whom you hate?" Harada was even more confused.
So this was the perfect chance for him. "No you idiots; I met with someone who gave me that note. Weren't you the ones who urged me to find word about her anyway? Yaso entrusted it to them, to bring to me; and they did, along with this," he produced the second piece of paper "that I am yet to read thus no one will be having it."
He raised his hand as high as he could so no one could launch a sneak attack. "If anything, this will probably rid me of Yaso forever."
"But what does that weird note mean? Was she too proud to tell you what she wanted?"
Saitou smirked at Nagakura's question. "No; this means exactly the opposite." Interest was visible in all men's faces. "She lets me know she did all she could and now it's my turn."
"For what?"
"You'll see."
.
.
"May I come in?"
Hijikata looked up; he hadn't heard anyone approach the door so he was taken by surprise to hear anyone requesting entrance. If they were so silent, it could have been only two people: Saitou or Okita. Looking at the shadow, it was the former.
"Yes."
There was something different about him, Hijikata noticed, an air he didn't have before. It wasn't simple arrogance nor satisfaction; it was both, with a touch of pride and eagerness. "What did you do last night?"
He asked it bluntly, leaving no room for maybes and noes and doubts that he had gone out.
Saitou felt his skin crawl a little. This man knew everything indeed! What if his eyes caught his company last night? No, no that's silly; he just asked him something like that so he mustn't have known. Thus, the smirk came easily on Saitou's lips as he pulled his hands out of his sleeves, revealing papers at the same time. Hijikata's eyes narrowed.
"What may that be?"
"Read, commander."
February 10th: Yaso is seen with bf. S. lover on the street holding hands
February 15th: Yaso is seen with bf. S. lover entering an ill reputable establishment of Yoshiwara.
February 23rd: Yaso attempts to run away from residence to be with her bf. S. lover.
February 27th: Yaso manages to run away from marital residence.
March 1st: Yaso is found with bf. S. lover in a run-down house. She is promptly escorted back to her marital residence.
March 10th: Yaso attempts suicide.
March 12th: Suicide attempt turns out to be a ploy to allow her outside, as she runs away from home for the second time.
March 13th: she is found in the outskirts of Edo with bf. S. lover and is promptly escorted back to marital residence.
March 25th: one of Yaso's guards is found beaten and bound; the other was killed. Yaso ran away for the third time…
April 12th: news of a woman who might be Yaso reach her father's ears. The lead turns up nothing.
April 26th: after a wild goose chase, Yaso's father gives up on finding his daughter; she hasn't turned up in any of the places where she or her bf. S. lover was expected; the case gets cold; discretion is advised; they make up their minds not to tell anyone about this; the husband won't be told unless he comes to visit.
May 20h: maid finally reveals to my liaison Yaso entrusted her with a note only meant for her husband
May 23rd: note is received.
Hijikata stopped reading exactly where the penmanship finished, only to raise his eyes to face the smug look on Saitou's mug. He kept looking at him, a mixture of bewildered, amazed yet somehow offended. "What is this?"
"My divorce settlement." His smirk became crooked. "We can ask for a lot of things with this in our hands."
Hijikata's eyes immediately flew to the smaller piece of paper; it was only three words but he could tell—this was Yaso's. "Your informant gave you her note."
"That he did."
He remained silent; then he grew too serious, looking up only with his eyes. Irritation was visible. "This is big." A pause. "I'd hate to think what you gave, or worse, promised in return."
But when his smirk only got wider, Hijikata was taken aback. "Saitou…what did you do last night?"
"Let's just say this one will come free."
"I don't believe that."
"…no, it will; for you anyhow."
Saitou dreaded to think he'd have to be at her beck and call from now on, at least during the nights. And because if he ever spoke this sentence out loud to anyone they would misunderstand completely – and with all fairness, who wouldn't – he would never say who his "informant" was or that this costs him absolutely nothing in fact. It was his own sense of shame or pride that would urge him to do as she asked, he knew that much.
"Hijikata, you or the unit won't suffer; I might. A number of headaches for starters…"
His suspiciousness mellowed into curiosity and finally, a snort of laughter. "Amazing; how did you come by this information?"
"If you're looking for the name of my informant I am afraid I can't reveal that to you." A small smile. "Have to stay useful in more ways than one, yes?"
"…I expected no less." He shook his head. "With this knowledge in our hands and the note for further proof, we can use that man as we like! We lack a lot of funds and I fear the commissions the Aizu-han promised us won't be coming for a long time. This came with the most perfect timing!"
"Indeed…but first, you have to promise me two things: I will get my divorce." Well yes, that much Hijikata expected, as seen in his face. "Second: we use this only once. Make it big, ask as much as you want, but only this once."
"I know the value of a proper extortion Saitou," the man snapped annoyed "I don't need you to tell me that."
He took a small bow. "Then I will be going now, let you do the rest."
"Saitou…" The man stopped at the door to look back at his commander. "I don't know how you got this, but thank you." He nodded in response; a smirk on Hijikata's lips formed. "From now on, you're allowed to meander off god knows where in the middle of the night if these are the results you bring back."
Saitou resisted the smirk. "I'll keep it in mind."
"To be honest, I thought you were off meeting women for personal entertainment," Saitou fought a blush "but now I can see you were doing something constructive with your time. Please continue. And if it is within your informant's abilities ask them what's the status with the shogun as far as our unit is concerned."
"I'll ask; but I truly believe that is beyond their capabilities."
"Of the mysterious informant, shrouded in mystery…"
Hijikata said that way too innocuously; Saitou became nervous. The last thing he wanted was the commander putting tails on him to find out the informant's identity but he simply nodded and left.
The moment he took the first turn to head back to his room – and change into his training attire – he ran into all three of his friends, who were waiting for him with their breaths held. He passed by them on purpose, before saying "he agreed."
Cheers followed en masse. If it were even a little bit like him, he would have joined them, he was that happy…because it might take some time, but he would be free.
.
.
She would have never expected Saitou to call a meeting between them, but there she was with a note in her hands, found in the bottom of the basket she had sent him not five days ago, that pretty much asked her just that. Of course, he requested they meet at a proper hour, not in the middle of the night and not outside the safety of her home-at first at least. He devised a whole plan in fact, to escort her to the hot springs; she should show up at the bath ladies around six in the afternoon, he wrote, and all would be fine.
That's all he wrote, but she could imagine he would time it so that he accidentally showed up at the same time to request the same thing and in light of these events, being the proper man everyone knows him as, he would suggest he escorts her there, brings her back and then goes for that bath himself. After all, she was almost kidnapped at a hot spring once, he would claim, and he felt a little uneasy allowing her to go alone.
She would of course play along because…well, it wasn't a lie. She loved those damn hot springs but ever since that incident, they stopped being a safe place. Maybe now, with him there protecting her, she could reclaim it. This would be the first time she would go to the hot springs since after all.
Of course, her predictions were correct. How well she had come to know this man…!
There were no words exchanged between them until they were deep into the woods, both fearing someone might overhear something they shouldn't. And the ladies did assure them no one had visited the spring today, so even if the wind carried their voices when they descended, no one would hear from that side.
"So what is it you wanted to talk about?"
"…well, I presented your findings to Hijikata; he agreed to my terms."
"That's wonderful! I'm happy for you; you may finally be rid of an unpleasant situation."
"It'll take some time but yes, now it is a realistic goal."
"Aw, I'm so happy, really." She couldn't stop smiling. "At least I made one person's life better."
"The thing is, Hijikata was very impressed by my "informant" and his reaches, so much he asked me for his name. I refused of course," he made perfectly clear "but now he considers me a liaison…and would like a service from said informant."
She snorted with laughter. "He really wasn't kidding, was he?"
"…what are you talking about?"
"Ah right, you weren't there. When we came back and I convinced him to wait that night before he asks for your reports, I offered him my insights as some sort of payment. He had seemed impressed by my ability to retain certain things and – I thought it was a jest – he suggested I become an informant." Saitou's eyes grew in size, even if only a little. "But I see he was genuinely impressed; I have this idea Hijikata-san is a very hard man to please in general, so I feel very proud."
For some reason, he didn't appreciate her joy at that achievement so his response "He is," was spoken with a bit of an edge.
"So what service does he ask from this humble informant?"
"Ah yes. I warned him you probably wouldn't be able to do it, so don't feel bad when you hear." He didn't know why, but he wanted to antagonise her; she shot him a challenging look in return. He didn't appreciate that, either. "He wants to know where the shogun stands as far as our unit is concerned."
"Oh?" Her head tilted to the side, not quite looking at him on purpose, picture perfect of dignified. "In what aspect?"
"…your meaning?"
"As far as funding is concerned, general position, or something particular about the men leading the unit?"
He raised an eyebrow. "…anything you can answer."
"Then allow clueless old me to inform you, the shogun is very pleased with your unit and its progress so far as well as your individual achievements. He does consider making it official sometime soon, thus giving you funds for your equipment and salaries in exchange for the protection of Kyoto – as he himself put it – , but he isn't quite sure yet. He feels he needs to test you for himself; he figures that could happen in the following two months. That being said, he appreciates Kondou-sama extremely, seeing he is Sabaku."
She seemed thoughtful. "I think that is about it; oh! Hijikata-sama he is more wary of, but recognises his strengths as a leader and understands he is the one in direct contact with the men of Roshigumi, on the opposite of Kamo-sama and Kondou-sama."
He was mildly apprehensive now. "How…how can you know all that?"
A coy smile appeared on her lips, looking at him with the edge of her eyes. She didn't answer though and his expression intensified. She chuckled. "You don't know this, but if you did you'd know I am the one archiving all of Matsudaira-sama's formal and informal mail."
"He trusts you that much…?"
"Indeed he does."
"At least that explains why he was so distraught at the prospect of you being kidnapped; who knew what sort of information they wanted or could have gotten."
She was dissatisfied. "Well, none other than the people living in the compound know…and now you, too. So I don't think that was his reason—at least not the very first."
"You mean this really is classified information?" She nodded; he was almost offended. "Then why did you tell me?"
"Are you going to tell someone about it so they can use it in their advantage? You've been giving me a hard time for leaving my room after midnight…!"
He shot her a nasty look; it's his fault, for worrying about her! He should have let her do what she wanted and gotten kidnapped. "That still doesn't answer why you told me."
Her smile came easy on her lips. "Because I felt like I could trust you."
He sighed, as he shook his head; he expected such a wilful answer from her. "There are too many secrets between us; I don't like it."
"Ah, don't worry, father says it's bad to keep secrets only if you're married."
He put his face in his hand. "No, you idiot. They say individual secrets can destroy a marriage, but shared secrets make it stronger. And our secrets are shared."
She giggled. "Then once you're not married anymore, come ask for my hand."
"You're hopeless."
She laughed, waving him off. "You just worry too much; every lady has secrets after all."
"Yet, I am almost certain they don't share them all with one person."
"Eh, you understand; it's difficult to find someone who truly understands. Besides, I'm not the only one with secrets," she said meaningfully, looking at him with the edge of her eyes.
"Every man has a secret or two, too," he threw back at her.
"And I don't question that; nor do I make a big deal out of it. You're the one who keeps complaining."
"That's because we have already established you are the improper one of us two—"
"Hajime!"
"—as exhibited repeatedly, even now." He stopped walking then, parting the bushes for her. "Have a nice bath, hime-sama; but don't take forever, alright? And if you see anything out of the ordinary, call me immediately."
"I'll scream."
She was gone behind the bushes and he respectfully turned his back as he sat on the ground. He could hear her from where he was, so there was no need to be too worried. She entered the water, splashed around…the waterfall was loud but not too much; the quiet of nature, the lack of any human voices, made everything distinguishable.
"Still, you're quite the show off," he said out of the blue, startling the woman who was enjoying the warm water, despite the very warm weather. "You didn't have to be so dramatic about knowing the shogun's mind."
Why that bothered him, he couldn't understand. The woman did as he asked and then some; if anything, he should be thanking her ten times over for putting him in the position of bringing such important news to his commander.
"It's your fault for underestimating me."
Yet there he was.
"I didn't. No one could know such a thing other than the Aizu-han and the shogun's closest people but none of those people would ever be my informants, obviously—I was only trying to spare you the disappointment."
"And in doing so, you underestimated me; we are saying the same thing."
He glared at the flora in front of him, seeing the object of his annoyance was unreachable at the moment. "You're an overachiever," he snapped instead "how come you didn't detail me the shogun's schedule for the next three months as well?"
"Because you didn't ask for it."
"You are an overachiever," he repeated firmly.
"I was only trying to give you enough information to impress Hijikata-sama!"
"Ah, of course, because he's so hard to please." Why was he attacking her? He had no clue!
"That's only οne part of it; it's a challenge, so I felt I had to do my best."
She even sounded defensive; ah damn, this wasn't how he wanted things to go—but something about this irked him and his tongue couldn't be contained. "Yes, yes, he'll be very impressed with you, congratulations."
Where was all this bitterness coming from? Why? What was wrong with him?
"What are you even talking about?" He'd like to know, too. "It's you who will be giving him the information."
"But it's my informant he'll be impressed with."
"So? You can't reveal my name anyway."
"It doesn't matter; your ego will still be stroked you managed to please him."
"Apparently Hijikata-sama isn't the hardest man to please in the Roshigumi though! You requested something, I provided it for you and now you complain to me I did it too well?"
Yes he was. "What else was I supposed to do?" He didn't know! "If you think it will sound too suspicious then…then—I don't know, share only half of the information with him. You're the middle man, decide on your own; do not scold me for doing what you asked."
She was right, he knew, but he was just too bitter! "I only wanted to help you gain favour with him, why are you being so hard? I thought you'd appreciate it; apparently I was wrong." She snorted. "If Hijikata-sama is difficult, then you're impossible to please!"
He felt shame. "That's not true."
"Of course it is! Yet how could it be otherwise? Serious, proper Haijme, always doing the right thing—"
"Stop, it isn't like that."
"—knowing the perfect thing to say, how could he be satisfied with anything less than—?"
"I killed a man, alright?" Well that worked. "I'm…I'm nothing like you say, stop."
She already had; his spirits plummeted. What was wrong with him today? He literally had no reason to speak to her like that nor reveal his deepest darkest secret! Wasn't he the one who didn't want to tell her? Why was this happening? But now he went ahead and did it and he couldn't take anything back. He feared that—
"Why did you do it?"
He turned around so fast, his hair hit him in the face; he hadn't heard her approach, he must have been too lost in his thoughts. Well, he did hear the crunch of the grass but he paid no heed. Still, she came out next to him, wearing nothing but a bathrobe without a shred of fear, despite being so vulnerable. She just looked at him, stared right into his soul with those eyes of hers. He did her the honour to not look away. He waited until she had carefully sat next to him on the ground and they both looked straight ahead.
"…I didn't want to; it was an accident." He now had to tell her the story of course. "The son of a hatamoto, a hatamoto himself, kept bragging about how his swordsmanship was far superior to my father's – and mine, seeing he taught me – and how that was only to be expected, seeing my father was a simple ashigaru who bought himself the title of gokenin."
She said nothing; she knew how cruel people could be especially as far as classes were concerned. "He had been comparing himself to me endlessly, too but it wasn't until I talked back that he really targeted me. So on one of those occasions he said something quite hurtful for my family and I had no choice but to…speak way out of turn, as he put it. So he challenged me to a duel, to clear his good name by proving to everyone how superior in battle he was."
A pause.
"And I accepted the challenge."
Her breath caught. "Why did you do that? It's considered petty for a hatamoto to challenge anyone inferior, so declining isn't shameful! But it is considered improper—"
"—to accept, I know; I didn't know then. Or should I say I never really cared to ask. I just did whatever I wanted, without thinking."
A tremulous sigh. "He wasn't worried at all though, so I figured he was at least half as skilled as he claimed. His father was an excellent warrior after all and he too was taught by his father." He shrugged defeated. "But I was wrong. He was, to be kind, inept. I didn't realise only after I had made my move though…he fell to the ground surrounded in a pool of his own blood."
She brought her hand to her mouth. "I didn't want to hurt him, I really thought he'd dodge; I had seen his father execute a certain manoeuvre hundreds of times, I thought he'd have taught it to him. Again, I was wrong. He was dead in two minutes flat."
"I'm so sorry."
"He didn't have to die; he was an arrogant fool, but not much beyond that. It could be said he was a product of his upbringing. His mother called for my head as soon as she heard but his father…he might have been a good warrior but a horrible human because he hadn't cared I killed him at all. The only reason he allowed the hunt was to honour his social standing."
"Dreadful…!"
"I know. It was a mess. Which is why I swore to myself: no more personal vendettas, no more selfish reasons to wield the sword, only what's just; the only ones worth killing are those who are evil. Protect those who can't protect themselves..."
Silence spread between them. On one hand, she hadn't run away; on the other, she didn't say much. He rarely felt this nervous but he could hear his heart pumping blood faster than usual, as he waited for her to digest everything.
"But if it is something personal, isn't it more motivating?"
Finally, she spoke, even after some time. "…not necessarily; maybe. I don't know. I simply try to do my best."
She considered. "So just make what's right your personal motivation; you have a very personal reason to abhor senseless killing and needless violence. That's a good thing for someone trying to start over. Yes?"
His eyes slid to hers for the first time since he started speaking before turning away again. "Yes."
"…so that's your indiscretion."
"Yes."
"…it could be worse."
He snorted. "How."
"You could have killed him on purpose; you could have not cared. You could have even felt slighted they came after you."
He turned to look at her incredulous. "How…do you do that?"
"Do what?"
"See the good in people, no matter what."
She was the one who looked away now, deciding the trees surrounding them was a better choice.
"I don't; it depends on what people show me. And although what you did was wrong, I see your heart is in the right place now; you received enough punishment for it already by others, too, I see no reason to add insult to injury. Besides, you have saved my life more than once. What right do I have to say if you should be here or not?"
She felt she understood him a little better now; he was always proper because the one time he wasn't, a man died. He berated others so they wouldn't make the same mistakes; he devoted himself to upholding the law and what's right in an effort to wipe his record clean. So, Boldly, yet almost imperceptibly, she leaned herself towards him more and more until her head was touching his arm.
He was a man on a mission and she could respect a man like that. Closing her eyes, she rested her head against his shoulder for a long moment. She couldn't see, but definitely imagined his panic-stricken face, flush with the immodesty of it all and it caused her to smile.
But if she did have her eyes open, she would see she was wrong. Of course he involuntarily reacted to something like that by flinching or trying to say something, anything, to make her stop, but…after that one second was spent, he realised: the world didn't come to an end. The peace wasn't broken and no one was around to scold him for being so daring with the Aizu-han's protégé. She didn't hurt anyone by being improper—and neither did he, if he just let her do it.
In fact…it felt nice. He felt accepted. What was the point of standing too much on ceremony anyway? So he let her support her head because that way she supported his heart. And now that its rate had calmed and he could hear more things than that blasted beating, he could finally hear his thoughts. He'd been bitter thus mean because he'd been comparing himself to Hijikata. She hadn't; he did. She simply mentioned one thing about him, which was true, and he gave it this whole other dimension.
Why?
He didn't know. Maybe it had to do with the fact Hijikata gathered the attention of every woman he met, yet so far Tokio had exhibited none of the tells of a woman smitten. She was, for all intents and purposes, indifferent. For it to change now, after all they had been through, it felt wrong. No, it felt unfair. Tokio was his person! She shared her secrets with him, not Hijikata, as they had previously established.
So it was pride, his mind finally decided. Pride, yes; that was a good sentiment to centre on.
A giggle pulled him out of his thoughts and he turned to look at her smiling, eyes still closed. "I finally realise why you went overboard in your duel with Nagakura-san; you were just too excited you could have one without holding back."
"Shut up or I'll move." Her mirth died in an instant; he was pleased. "Though, we should be getting back soon. People will start to wonder."
"No one will wonder; my baths always last at least an hour. So stay." She dared to lean into him even more, all of her side touching him. "Just a little longer…"
He did as she asked, but still shook his head. "Too many secrets."
"But this is relaxing no?"
"…I guess."
She huffed. "Are you calm?"
"Yes."
"You weren't before; now you are. Thus, this is relaxing. Now be quiet."
He felt like snapping to her, but held his tongue. She was right; this was very relaxing. So he stood there stoic, watching the leaves dance in the breeze. The sun was only now setting, painting the horizon with an iridescent glow; sounds of nature surrounded them. Everything was at peace.
After what felt like hours, he finally decided it was about time they left. "Tokio, we need to-…"
She was asleep.
Heh, no wonder she managed to stay quiet for so long. "Wake up your highness," he said a little louder, subtly moving his arm to further his cause "time we headed back."
"Hm?" her eyes opened slowly, sleep heavy on her eyelids still. "Ah yes, we need to" a yawn "go, right."
He stood before her and turned his back, allowing to collect herself and fix her robe before standing up again herself; she signalled she was ready by tugging onto his fabrics once. They started walking.
"So what will you tell Hijikata-sama?"
"I haven't decided yet."
"Maybe you should portion it; it might look suspicious otherwise, how much more when I don't ask for anything in return."
"Oh now you think about that?"
"One more word out of your mouth about it and I shall never tell you anything else."
She sounded serious; he weighed his options. "…I'll portion it," he decided in the end.
A/N: Hope you had a fun time babies! Why don't you leave a review on your way out? It always gets my creative juices flowing!
Kisses, FAI.