A/N I'm so sorry.

I've been so swamped with school at the moment and midterms are around the corner so I've been busy. And then I had writer's block for a while every time I sat down to write this story. I knew what direction I was going in (less drama) but the words wouldn't come to my head. But I finally managed to get it done, haha. I finally managed to finish it and wanted to post yesterday but I couldn't because the internet was terrible. And now I can sleep at night without feeling guilty about not posting.

Anyway, happy reading!

Disclaimer: We've been over this.

The Daily Prophet was downright unpleasant to read these days.

Nearly every article featured had to deal with Voldemort and many related instances. Over 100 muggleborns had been killed since the start of the school year, and several attacks had been made on Diagon Alley and several wizarding towns. Couple that with corrupt politicians like Bartemus Crouch and you get a miserable read every morning.

And then, as if the world were trying to mess with her, Benjy Fenwick asked her out. And she had accepted. Now, she had never, not once in her life, intended to go out with her Ravenclaw friend, but in her defense, she was supremely caught off guard as she was paying attention to the dark, dismal article at the time.

"Great!" Benjy said happily. "I'll meet you in the entrance hall at 9:00 on Saturday?" Lily nodded numbly.

"Yeah," she said in a daze, "I'll be there."

"All right," He said enthusiastically. "I'll see you soon then," And giving a little wave goodbye, he walked away, a noticeable spring in his step.

So now, Lily Evans had a date. And it wasn't James Potter, as much as she wished it was.

At that moment, Sirius and James had happened to walk up to Lily, who was regretting her life's choices as she glanced back to the picture of the burning house on the front cover.

"What's up Evans?" Sirius said. "You don't look to bright this morning." Lily said nothing, ignoring the guilt and sadness that was now eating away at her, and instead handed over the newspaper to Sirius. His face darkened and he handed the paper over to James, who snorted in disgust as he read the headline.

"Well that ruins your day doesn't it," He said angrily.

"Tell me about it," Sirius said. "I'm willing to bet that my dear cousin Bella was involved in this one." He looked at Lily sympathetically. "I apologize on behalf of my family. They obviously don't care, but…" he shrugged and stabbed his sausage with a fork.

"I appreciate the sentiment Sirius," Lily said, smiling sadly. They ate their food in silence until James piped up.

"What did Fenwick want?" he asked lightly, although Lily could hear a slight strain in his voice.

Lily's face reddened slightly.

"He- He uh, asked me out."

James coughed into his pumpkin juice, and Sirius looked up at her in shock.

"He asked you out?" He said, thumping James on the back as he coughed. Eventually James managed to get a hold of himself and asked,

"Well what did you say?" Lily put her face in her hands and sighed loudly.

"I said yes."

"You what?" Sirius said loudly. Lily winced at his loud, shocked tone and sighed again.

"I was caught off guard, okay?" Lily said in a quiet voice. "I was in the middle of reading that newspaper and didn't realize what I'd said until he had set up a time."

"But I thought that you- never mind." Sirius shook his head. "Unbelievable," he said mournfully. "The one time you don't pay attention Evans." And they finished the rest of the meal in near silence.

So, She and Benjy went on their date.

And another.

And another.

And Lily found herself happy.

Benjy, true to his character, was so very sweet to her. And their relationship was… comfortable. And after a month and a half of dating, she even began to find herself falling for him a little. She was very taken aback by this, and evidently, all her friends were too. Sirius especially. When Lily announced she was officially dating Benjy, Sirius's mouth had fallen open and stayed that way for a while, and the rest of the night he seemed rather disappointed and confused, looking solemnly back and forth between her and James.

And Lily could see why he seemed a bit skeptical. After all, Lily had told him that she loved his best friend, hadn't she? And yeah, it was still true, but… James had been out of his relationship with Annie for weeks now. If he still fancied Lily, he would've asked her out already, wouldn't he? Marlene didn't seem to think so, and she went as far as to state her reasoning for Lily's new relationship.

"I think, Lily," Marlene said one night as they sat in the library, "that you're only dating Fenwick because you want a distraction from James."

"I'm sorry?" Lily looked over to her best friend in surprise.

"You're trying to get over him Lily, and it's not working."

"I'm not!" Lily said defensively. "I honestly like Benjy, Mar. It took me by surprise too, but that doesn't change the fact that it happened." She looked back at her essay. "First Sirius, now you too. Why can't you just be happy for me?"

"I don't doubt you're happy, Lily, and I'm glad that you are, but I see the way that you look at James. And he—"

"So what?" Lily cried. "It doesn't really matter how I look at him, does it? He doesn't like me like that anymore Marly, why would I waste my time on someone who doesn't like me back?" There was a long stretch where neither of them spoke, and Lily turned back to her work, though she could still feel Marlene's eyes on her. "It's not going to happen Marlene," Lily said quietly. "We're just partners. Friends. And… and that's all we'll ever be."

And it was true. However much she wished it were different; James Potter was out of her reach. And it was time to get over him.

The next day she sat in the library, doing homework with her new boyfriend, when he cleared his throat and uttered the worst words you could say in a relationship.

"So… I think we need to talk."

Lily looked up in surprise, feeling slightly uneasy as she met Benjy's intense gaze.

"Okay," she said, leaning forward and resting her chin in her hands. "What's up." Benjy looked a little uncomfortable and sighed.

"It's about Potter," Benjy said dejectedly. Lily's heart dropped like a rock to the floor.

"What about him?" She asked casually. "Did he do something stupid? If he did, then I'll—"

"No, it's not something that he did, it's more of- how do I say this?" He trailed off and looked out the window thoughtfully. Lily watched him for a while and moved her hand on top of his. The touch seemed to stir him out of his thoughts, and he turned to face her once again.

"Lily, I think… I think we should break up." A stunned silence followed these words, and Lily removed her hand from his at once. Not a word was said. They merely looked at each other, both seeming to be at a loss for words.

"Why?" she asked in a small voice, breaking the tension. "Did I- did I do something?" Benjy sighed and leaned back in his chair.

"No," he said. "It's… more of something you said. Or at least implied." Lily furrowed her brow in confusion.

"What are you talking—"

"I heard you talking with Marlene here last night," he blurted out. "I know that- that you still like him."

Lily's heart sank even lower if possible, and she shook her head, slightly panicked.

"Benjy, no. I like you, I like being with you. And I swear to Merlin you aren't just a distraction from James." Benjy shook his head sadly.

"Do you though?" he asked, "Because I don't entirely believe it. I think Marlene has a point. I've seen how you look at James. And I don't fancy being a distraction." Lily opened her mouth to retort, but Benjy held up a hand and stopped her. "No Lily, she was right. And if Black has said the same thing…" he trailed off again and met her eyes. "Lily, I like you. A lot. But I can't be in a relationship with someone who doesn't feel the same."

"But I do like you," Lily replied quietly. "I swear I do. And I don't- James isn't- he doesn't even love me like that anymore." Benjy looked at her kindly, which made her feel even worse, if possible.

"But you still love him," Lily had nothing to say to this, and she just looked at him, feeling pathetic. "I'm sorry Lily. We can talk more later. And when you do finally get over Potter, let me know." He packed up his things, and all the while, Lily searched desperately for something to say.

"Benjy please don't do this," she finally managed to whisper. Benjy looked down at her and smiled sadly.

"I'm sorry Lily. Really. But I'll see you around." And then, placing a final kiss on the top of her head, he left the library. Left her to sit alone, wondering how everything had gotten so messed up. Benjy's words came to her mind again as she buried her face in her hands.

But you still love him.

Yeah, she did.

A/N: AHAH I finally finished this one! This took way longer than it should have. Again, I'm really sorry!

Thanks so much to those of you who stayed despite the long loooooong wait. I really appreciate it. Leave a review to tell me what you thought of this chapter! I rewrote it about ten times, so it was a long process, hah.

You all are amazing! Thanks for reading!