A/N: How are you lovelies? Long time no see! Well, not really, but I'm here for my weekly update, right on time. As always, thanks for the love, either in faves, follows or reviews. You're the best and I hope I keep you entertained.
I really hope you enjoy this one; it's sort of an important moment for Tokio. There are no big realisations and fireworks; I believe it's not her style. His neither, but he's still on the way. Did I confuse you? You'll see what I mean, don't worry, it's coming.
No historical facts this once, only RuroKen ones, lol. Did you know Sagara Souzou was adopted into the Sagara samurai family? Hence, he knew how unfair life could be from a young age. Also, he was married with a child when he left to form his army - which happens later on, I treat this gang of his as the beginnings of that army - so I feel like he connected with Sano and Tsukioka because they were his surrogate children and I think that's so cute 3
Timeline: February 8th-9th 1864.
A fine lady...
...and a mother's intuition.
They arrived at the mansion relatively late; Tokio made her request even later. But no one protested when she proposed she looked at them that same night, after they were shown their rooms. It would be a small prognosis in case anyone needed anything more.
"My sweet Tokio is so considerate," her father gushed, gracing her with a big smile, making her blush "there can be no better person to pursue her chosen profession than her."
Kondou nodded appreciatively. "According to my men and Hijikata himself," he showed the man next to him "I should say I agree!"
"Oh indeed; too selfless always, never thinking of herself."
Hijikata went for the kill, nearly causing her to faint out of shame. He and she both knew the only reason she was so hell bent on this prognosis was to talk to Saitou; otherwise, she would have just waited for the next morning. In fact, if Matsudaira hadn't just left for his own house, Hijikata was certain he'd probably suggest just that: go to sleep now, she may look you over in the morning, no one's bleeding. And he would have been right.
"Oh, here is Matsuda," Kojuuro noticed the head of his staff heading towards them "are the rooms ready?"
"Yes, my lord. All of them have been inspected and have been found fit for accepting your guests."
"Very well; come on, Tokio, honey," he offered his hand to his wife "let us show everyone to their room. Once we're done, feel free to take a look at anyone who wishes."
Tokio dared not look at Saitou at all, for Hijikata was staring, nearly glaring, at her the entire time. And when her father stopped in front of the tallest man in the room with all formality, Tokio instinctively looked at the strict commander, only because she knew what was about to follow.
Kojuuro and Tooka bowed deeply in front of him. "Saitou-san, my wife and I have to thank you." Saitou managed to bow back and act accordingly despite his surprise. "You in the Shinsengumi all did your best, but we must offer our gratitude to Saitou-san in particular. You saved our daughter's life and honour in more than one occasion. You kept her safe and recovered her fast enough that no real harm was inflicted. We don't know how to properly express our thanks…"
"That is my duty," he simply said "no thanks are needed."
"Spoken like a true warrior," her mother commended, but shrewdly looked at her daughter who was actually looking between Hijikata and Saitou repeatedly, almost anxious.
"Nevertheless, we want to show you how much we truly appreciate it, so we decided to offer you a special room."
Tokio's heart beat faster; what with Hijikata's mood and jabs at her and the way he looked like the calm before the storm, she couldn't relax. Especially since Saitou was utterly ambushed by her parents' good wishes.
Her mother spared a glance for her daughter again, watching her hold her breath as Tooka's mouth opened: "We decided to give you a room that only samurai have ever used in this mansion before."
If Saitou's eyes could sparkle, they would have.
"It has not been used in a decade, ever since our Tokio was still a small child, and someone tried to kidnap her, when she was out playing with her friends and sister." Tokio did not even remember that, what was her mother saying? "We were worried they would try taking her again, so we opened that room to allow the samurai we asked for help to stay. He requested he was moved to another, one closer to Tokio's room, but instead, we moved Tokio's room closer to his."
Was that why she suddenly changed rooms when she was a child? Wow, she didn't remember anything. "Ever since, those two rooms have been close; despite not being used again after the culprit was caught, we kept it in top condition. And now, we would like you to stay in that room, as a way to show our thanks. And since you so competently kept her safe in the past, that way you can keep her safe here, too."
Don't blush; you are a twenty-year-old man; don't blush.
He bowed deeply; for that one moment, all he thought about was how big of a deal this was and felt truly humbled. The next, he glanced at Hijikata to make sure he wasn't imagining him dead ten different ways in his mind's eye. When he found the man mildly smirking it put his mind at ease and the immediately next thought was just how used Tokio must have been to danger, if she was exposed to it at such a young age. No wonder she treated it so lightly…that needed to be fixed though.
"If my commanders agree, I would be honoured."
"But of course; you deserve it, Saitou." Kondou caused him to stand, patting his back twice. "Ain't that right, Toushi?"
"Indeed, it is."
Tokio was beaming, looking at Saitou – and the turn of events – with an odd sense of pride, having forgotten momentarily who was watching and why. "Now allow me show you all to your rooms! And then, whoever needs it, please come to the first room I show you to have your injuries looked at."
Tokio evaded her mother altogether, head lowered, bypassing all adults that were not supposed to escort her on this short walk; purpose in her step, she exited the room at a slow pace and led everyone away.
Kondou and Hijikata came to stand on either side while the rest followed as a group—even the sour looking Takeda, who felt he had his thunder stolen.
But it was Okita who spoke first. "It's so unfair! I wanted to have the room closest to Tokio-chan!"
That earned him a barrage of smacks by almost every single man of the small entourage and a giggle from Tokio. But Kondou was utterly scandalised. He had never witnessed the extent of his flirting before, thinking Hijikata too strict and brushing it off. But now, he had to fearfully reconsider!
"Souji! What nonsense are these?"
"No nonsense, Kondou-san…! I'm just really jealous. Why is it always Saitou-san who gets the best assignments?"
Nagakura shook his head. "That's too inappropriate to say, even for you Okita-san."
"Yeah, don't think you're the only one who feels that way, too; this bastard" Harada nodded curtly to Saitou "always gets the best lately, but you don't see me complaining…like that."
Kondou smacked him though. "What sort of language is this in front of a lady?"
Tokio giggled in her sleeve again, only this once she made an effort to draw attention to it. "Do not be too harsh on them, Kondou-sama; they entertain me."
"They are appalling, not entertaining!"
"They are most fun; so long as they do not overstep any boundaries in presence of my parents or Matsudaira-sama, I do not mind."
"You're too lenient with them Tokio-san," Kondou actually scolded her "no wonder they have become so daring. You need to remind them of their place."
"They do no harm."
Hijikata found the perfect chance. "Does that matter?"
She turned to look at him curious.
He elaborated. "If one treats an inferior as an equal so long as the ones in charge are not there to see it, it creates a rift in perception. Slowly, they start to think they truly are equal, only because the one with the power allowed it; before you know it, they think they have claims that none other than themselves and that one person would ever recognise, leading to serious problems and misunderstandings."
Oh wow; ouch. He frigging dismantled her! If that wasn't a direct jab at her allowing this…thing with Hajime to happen and then keep happening until it became what it is now, she didn't know what it was. Redder than ever, she put her head down even lower and tried to defend herself, yet nothing but incoherent spluttering made it out of her windpipe.
"That would only happen if the other person is enough of a fool or an egomaniac to believe himself all that," Saitou came to her rescue and she felt a hundred times grateful. It also held another meaning, too, as she noticed Hijikata looking slightly towards the back. "So, Okita is a legitimate concern I suppose but Harada is fine."
They laughed, covering up Tokio's blush and Hijikata's keen expression; Kondou went so far as to start joking with them, but Saitou remained silent, watching the two out of the three at the head of the party. And when neither seemed to get over the exchange yet none pursued anything further, he allowed himself to look away…only to find Okita glancing at him with that infuriatingly smarmy expression that meant he knew something more than he let on.
One by one, they were shown their rooms, but none remained in it, other than Kondou – and thankfully that annoying Takeda –. They respectfully bid their goodbyes, and retired; yet Hijikata remained, even if his room was the third one to be shown, even after she finished the tour saying "and this is Saitou-san's room."
It felt so odd calling him that after such a long time. "Mine is the first one on the right in the next corridor. Not too far—the walls are so thin, you can hear everything anyway." She smiled to them. "So, now that you know where you are to stay, who wants to have any injuries looked at?"
Okita raised his hand. "Oh, me; I want, I want!"
Nagakura nodded as well. "I'd like you to take a look, too, Tokio-san."
"Me, too."
"As would I," Saitou finally said, struggling not to sound too eager.
"Go as declared," Hijikata stated, preventing any arguments from forming. "Thank you for your services Tokio-san."
"You are most welcome, Hijikata-sama." She bowed deeply. "May the first one follow me, please; the next one should come half an hour later."
Okita went with a skip in his step, making everyone but Tokio glare; yet, one by one, the men went their separate ways…leaving Hijikata and Saitou alone. And when he was sure no stragglers remained, without a second's delay, Hijikata went into Saitou's room. A little taken aback, but deemed not entirely unexpected, Saitou followed him inside.
"You are so lucky Kondou hasn't noticed anything and her father seems just as oblivious" not even a second spent on formalities, how lovely "otherwise you'd be in deep trouble. And your only saving grace is the answer you gave to what I just called her out on."
A sigh. "I am not an idiot, Hijikata."
"Yeah, but you nearly attacked Sagara the other day because he had her ribbon and Harada for saying he wanted her to pour his drink."
Anger resurfaced for a fracture of a second but Hijikata saw it and gave him a look, as if that proved his point.
Saitou managed to push past that. "He is a man we don't know of or what he's capable of that has expressed clear anti-shogunate sentiments; why shouldn't I be upset he put her in a position to owe him a favour?"
"And Harada?"
"…you worry about me, or so you say, but you allow him and Okita to say such things about her. They shouldn't and you know it."
His look was piercing. "No one actually believes what they wish would, will happen; it's just a couple of men's unattainable dreams. Who am I to take that away from them? After all, they know not to say such things in front of anyone important—and Kondou doesn't count, you know he doesn't." Hijikata caught him before he managed to protest. "Besides, when they say it, it sounds like wishful thinking; if you dared say it, it would sound like a legitimate request."
Saitou rolled his eyes. "You give me too much credit. She doesn't think that highly of me."
"Oh really? Then why did she send you that eighth letter you never received?" Saitou's eyes became smaller in instant suspicion. "Why did she write all of the things she did if she didn't think highly of you? Or, at the very least, your opinion didn't have significance to her?"
Saitou tried not to be upset. "You heard us; and you kept the letter from me."
"I did; both." Just as his subordinate crossed his hands to brace himself for the match that was about to come, Hijikata raised his palm in an effort to stop him. "It came half a week after you started training and I was about to give it to you, but I got curious again, so I read it; but I after I did, I worried it would distract you, but you did too well; it'd be a shame."
This was all Saitou's fault; if he hadn't given it to him that first time, he never would have dared to open his mail. Damn it. "So, what did the letter say?"
It took less than a second for the commander to produce it from his sleeves. "I was going to give it to you tonight anyway. Read it and then go get examined." Saitou had the decency not to snatch it out of his hands. "But I'm warning you for the last time: watch it. If you don't, you'll force my hand."
"I'm not a child."
"You aren't," Hijikata agreed, sighing, "that's the problem. Final time Saitou; don't make me regret it."
"You won't."
Hijikata shut the door behind him without once looking back. Despite the ominous feeling, Saitou settled down and started reading.
Dear Hajime,
Father received the answer Matsudaira-sama sent to his invitation and said you are all coming! I can't help but be excited; I am anxiously looking forward to your arrival. It has been too uneventful and quiet around here lately, maybe you swordsmen will change that. Don't be upset, I only jest; but it is truly a happy occasion.
Father too is excited to have you; he has already picked out your rooms. Although Matsudaira-sama will naturally stay at his own estate, you and the rest of the Shinsengumi shall stay with us. Kondou-sama alone will be given the choice of staying here or Matsudaira-sama, but father – with the help of my mother, naturally – has already decided who will stay where. Of course, that is something that does not warrant a mention normally, but I must make a deal out of it, for e fear Hijikata-sama might not take this well.
Remember I said the entire family is grateful for your services and keeping me safe? They decided to do you the great honour of giving you the room closest to mine, so if anything happens, you can act immediately. Nothing will happen, it's just a formality, but you understand the concept yes? They show you trust.
That's why Hijikata wasn't upset. He already knew about it.
But it could still give Hijikata-sama plenty of reason to be upset, so I am warning you beforehand. If Hijikata-sama so wishes, I suppose you are free to exchange rooms, even if I don't really like it, so long as father doesn't mind; after all, he did put a lot of thought into picking them. But should Hijikata-sama say you are too close to my age thus seems inappropriate, father will probably fold; but if father does insist, please don't push him. He will feel slighted.
I also received some concerning news today; one more man shall be joining us close to New Year and from what I gather, and despite father being very hush hush about it, he must be a prospect.
There it was, the mystery man mentioned. She did mention him in her letter, as she said. Strangely enough, it made no difference to him. That visceral feeling remained.
Normally I would be panicking but from what I gathered he is not that much of a threat.
Oh? Interesting.
What I pieced together so far, speaks of a young man who is either loved or hated by those he meets, said to have made many controversial comments. Given father decided to invite him only after Matsudaira-sama accepted to come, I am almost certain father doesn't know what to do and will rely heavily on my lord's opinion. But my lord is not a man easily impressed, thank Buddha, so I firmly believe I shall be in the clear.
Let's hope so…!
No matter, he shall be coming and I can't help but be a little nervous. What do you think?
As always, keep safe.
Kind regards,
Tokio.
Ps the great Tama-chan is pleased.
Per usual, a sketch was included; for the second time, it was the cute fat Tama-chan, curled into a ball on someone's lap. She was napping happily, whiskers long and protruding. The more he stared, the more things he noticed: Tama-chan was wearing a ribbon on her neck, tied into a pretty bow at the top; she was sleeping between this person and a desk. The person was definitely Tokio, not just because the patterns of the kimono looked way too familiar, but this was drawn at an angle that whoever did it, looked down at the animal.
He couldn't help the small smile that came to his lips at the image.
"Lucky cat," he said to no one in particular and contented himself in refolding everything and putting them away. This once, nothing would be put on display, but it didn't matter. It was cherished all the same.
He meditated until the right amount of time passed and then slowly rose to his feet. He was good at navigating large houses so he found the room easily; he drew the shoji door open to find an almost asleep Tokio lying on the floor. She was sitting in the proper position until sleep overcame her from the looks of it; then she simply fell on her side and never got up. She looked so tired, he had half a mind to turn around and leave. But before he could decide, he watched her stir and murmur.
"The great hime-sama wakes from her slumber…"
That snapped her eyes open in a second! Clumsily and in an adorable hurry, she fumbled around with trying to get up and sit down properly again, but she literally couldn't find the strength to do it. "Stop, you'll make me cry; too pathetic."
"Shut" a yawn "up. I'm really tired."
The yawn never really stopped and he barely made out what she said. "It is late. Maybe we should reschedule."
She shook her head no furiously, still yawning. "Just…help me up" she offered both her hands, eyes closing every other second "and give me a moment to…wash my face…or whatnot."
He took her hands and pulled her to her feet; she crushed into his chest in less than a second. He knew that would happen though, so he simply kept her up by putting a hand on her back. "Whatnot seems to be winning; go to sleep hime-sama."
She made incoherent noises, never actually moving, but it was obvious she was complaining. Alright, let's try this: he'd put her back down and wait for an entire minute. If she made no movement, she needed the sleep and he was gone. She must have read his mind though because suddenly she was clutching on to him as if her life depended on it.
"But I want to tell you about…that man who is…supposed…and explain…"
"Hijikata had the letter; he gave it to me and I read it, so you don't need to explain anything. Go to sleep, or you'll hit your head."
"Hijikata-sama…had it…?"
"See? More questions; we'll talk at a length tomorrow. Now sleep."
"But I…!"
"Sleep."
As always, when he'd say it more forcefully, she'd do as he asked. She slumped and decided to give into the gravity that pulled down her eyelids. He watched her consciousness literally fade away as she slumped against him. Her breathing evened and all of her weight fell on him. She fell asleep. Huh. That was surprisingly easy. Of course, that left him with a problem he hadn't actually considered: who would get her to her room?
He put her carefully down and opened the shoji door as soundlessly as possible. His head popped out, in search of a servant. But nothing. He sighed. He didn't like the idea of leaving her alone to further his search, but he had to. Hesitantly, he took the first step; then the second; just before he rounded the corner though, he was blessed with good luck! A man was still walking the corridors, dressed in the same colours – blue and green – and style as the servants from before.
"Excuse me," at that time of night he didn't even have to raise his voice to be heard, the older man with the too black eyes immediately turned to him "I am Saitou Hajime and—."
"Ah, the young gentleman staying in the samurai room."
"The same; your young lady was supposed to take a look at me tonight, but her fatigue won out. She's sleeping."
"Oh! We are so sorry, Saitou-san! I shall personally make sure she takes a good long look at you tomor-"
"No, I don't mind that; it's just that she's asleep on the floor as we speak. Someone should take her to her room."
Realisation hit him. "Of course, how silly of me!" He took a look around once; twice; then looked at Saitou directly. "Would it be too much to ask you to take her? I don't mean to inconvenience you of course," he added when he saw the slightly doubtful look on Saitou's face "but your rooms are the closest and my back is not what it used to be."
A very odd feeling swirled in his gut that moment: it was a mixture of feelings in fact, effectively making his insides a soup. "Are you sure?"
The older man nodded. "Ah, yes, do not fret; I myself will relay the news to Takagi-sama. Please take care of her, yes?"
He nodded. Bowing in appreciation, the old man left Saitou with the responsibility. It wasn't much of a responsibility honestly but…after his talk with Hijikata, if the man so much as glimpsed him accidentally, he'd be in too much trouble. But he refused to allow her to sleep on the floor for the entire night, that much he knew. Sighing, he walked through the shoji door that he'd left open and went to her. She was snoring by now and he couldn't help the small snort of laughter. How unlady like of her.
But how endearing.
He knelt next to her and carefully put his hands underneath her legs and back; she stirred and turned his way, immobilising him for a moment. A monster rose in his chest, roaring at the indecency of it all: him, a young man, carrying a young lady of her status to her room, all alone…yet the roar wasn't a protest, not completely, and that was the paralysing part. It was also excitement.
Don't think of such things, what's wrong with you?
He pretty much shut his brain down and picked her up, all against his better judgment. He closed the door with his foot, seeing his hands were full, and made his way—wait. What was he supposed to do? Go the way he came and risk being seen by all of his comrades or go the long way around and risk being seen by remaining staff? He struggled to come up with an answer, standing still for well over a minute.
He looked left; he looked right. He'd go the way he came. Shorter route, less chances.
As he started walking, he felt her hands snake around his neck, face buried in his chest; she made a noise then and he couldn't help but feel too self-conscious. He tried not to think about it too hard but he could feel the heat coming off of her, her breath on his skin. She felt heavier than Sa-chan, but lighter than one would have thought; she felt just as hefty as he had expected her to be. Though why would he so much as begin to spend his time on something like that was truly beyond him; but he had and he was right.
She felt just right.
Although he couldn't go too fast, Saitou was blessed with stealth; he was also blessed with good luck for no one seemed to be walking around at this time of night to catch a glimpse of him, even if it took him ten minutes to make a five-minute walk. Still, he wasn't complaining: she'd gotten quite comfortable in his arms and he'd gotten quite comfortable with her there, snuggled up to his chest. He tried his best to look a little less pleased but he just knew he had a stupid smug look on his face.
He entered the long corridor of rooms then; the ultimate test. Kondou's room was the only one somewhat removed, he had passed that uneventfully already. But now it was Hijikata's; Takeda's; and after that Harada's; then Nagakura's and Okita's…his was the very last one. Hers was even further away. He took a bracing breath. Now or never.
He started walking with even more caution that before; he was so nervous, he feared his aura alone would summon Hijikata out to scold him! But he pressed on, a goal clearly set in his mind. First room cleared; second room safe; third room—a door opened. Nagakura's room? He paused to see who would emerge. What he saw was enough to put a smirk on his face. "Good evening."
The young, bright woman, no older than the occupant of the room she just snuck out of, jumped up all nerves! She had only checked one direction and was about to turn to the other, but Saitou never let her. Her cheeks became rosier as her eyes widened and then became smaller, face wrinkling by the sheer shame. A curtain of brown fell in front of her face then, covering it completely.
"S-Saitou-sama…"
"Ochako, right?"
"Yes," she squeaked and hid her face further.
"Your kimono is backwards."
Unbridled panic made its way onto her face, as her hands flew to her fabrics immediately! She rushed to check—….and then proceeded to glare at Saitou with everything she had. "Made you look though," he meaningfully added and watched her turn ten shades darker. He shook his head amused. "Walk with me."
That was the last thing she had expected to hear, if her reaction was any indication; fighting off the developing smirk, he managed to fall into a step she would be comfortable with. "We need to get your lady in bed and I obviously can't be the one to do it."
"O-oh…indeed; she fell asleep. Did she manage to see you?"
He nodded. "Only barely; she didn't examine me."
"But she did see you, talked with you." He gave her a look. "Explained…!"
"We had a small talk, yes; all is well." That was way too specific; did the maid know anything? "She was simply tired."
Ochako's chuckle was good natured. "She was bound to be. My lady hasn't been sleeping well for over two months now." Saitou was instantly concerned. "There's nothing wrong with her health. It's her heart, I think, that suffers."
She let that sink in for a moment; it was a shame that men like him didn't blush, Ochako decided, for it would be a sight. Nagakura had been too precious with his lowered eyes and over-the-glasses gazes; Saitou pretended to be unaffected and kept his head high, though, giving her no satisfaction, until she noticed the aversion of his eyes.
"She's been feeling a little lonely lately, I believe; a little melancholic, too. She would sit in front of her open balcony door and sigh many a time; others she would walk the gardens in the wee hours of the morning, in the company of a guard. Some she even took to sketching by candle light! But how odd…the day you arrived, she seems to have calmed down. Her heart must be at ease again."
He remained tactfully silent. Good thing he did, too for they reached her room and he didn't have to betray any of his feelings.
"Open the door."
She did it, all grace; he bypassed her and—he stopped. This was her room; her personal room. Has been ever since she was ten. He hesitated to walk inside. Should he enter? It felt he was trespassing a sanctuary. But Ochako did unobstructed; with quick moves, she lay out the futon that rested in the closet. She urged him to lay her on it with a nod. Only then did he move from the threshold.
Ah shit; it really felt like he was trespassing. Being as private as he was, he considered his room a sanctum. Going into hers like this felt underhanded—if he wasn't invited, he didn't want to enter. But then, why would she invite him in her room, was he an idiot? Completely out of sorts, he put her down as carefully as he could and turned about to leave.
"Thank you for carrying her, Saitou-san," Ochako caught up with his pace.
"Go tend to your lady."
"I will; but first allow me to thank you." She stopped to bow and damn all these manners now he stopped, too. "And I would ask you, if you could, please don't mention you saw me coming out…of…"
"What you or he does in your spare time is no concern of mine."
The relief on her face was nearly palpable. "Thank you, Saitou-san; thank you for taking care of my lady, too."
He was already on his way to his room as he saluted "goodnight."
Ochako craned her neck; "I shall tell her all about it in the morning!"
Saitou cringed; she almost woke everyone up, what was wrong with her? Who shouts so late at night? He shut the door to his room in record time and commanded himself to undress and go to sleep without thinking anything in between, nothing at all, not for a single second. Go to sleep, ignore that small voice in your head nagging and concentrate on visualising the consequences should Hijikata get wind of this before her father. Right; that should help.
That should have helped; yet all he got was the weirdest dream of Tokio sleeping next to him with her head on his right shoulder and Hijikata screaming in his face from his left. No wonder he woke up with a raging headache.
.
"Are you truly unlucky or are you much more cunning than I ever gave you credit for—that's what I'm struggling to decide?"
The very next morning, the entire schedule of the week had already been decided and announced to every guest: they would leave for the hot springs at noon; at the same time tomorrow, they'd be returning home. They'd get to rest for the rest of the day, then it was a visit at the Aizu-han's estate: the mansion, the stables, the accompanying gardens, and then they'd feast altogether at the grand dining room. The rest of the days, they'd spend at the festival. After making those announcements, her father took the time to personally thank Saitou again, for getting his daughter to bed safely and not letting her freeze her ass off in that room. Kondou commended him; the men gave him mean glares; Hijikata was the epitome of scariness though. He was calm as far as appearances went, but inside, he seethed.
And when he heard that the reason they'd be leaving at noon was so that Saitou could properly get looked at today, since he obviously wasn't yesterday, Hijikata felt like murder. Sufficiently discouraged by his superior's conduct and slightly disheartened by Tokio's absence – who tended to Teruhime-sama so she could accompany them to the hot springs in a few hours – he almost skipped out on his check-up.
But then, ten minutes before he was supposed to not-show at that same room as last night, Hijikata accosted him with that comment.
"You think I'd ever be caught in anything so foolish willingly?"
"Maybe you feel like it served your purpose." The silent offense on Saitou's face was too pronounced. "So, am I to believe you did not enjoy having to carry the fair, helpless lady to her room?"
"To assumeI would ever risk so much for fleeting enjoyment, you do me a disservice."
Silence.
"Yet again, it is your answers that prevent me from taking further action." He sighed. "Go get looked at by your troublesome girl for now, but if anything happens or she says anything that you think is even remotely risqué, you tell me. And I see what to do."
Like how she couldn't sleep at night for more than two months? "…" Or how she thought and actually wanted to explain herself to him about the mystery prospect man as if he had any say in it? Tell him; this is what he wants to know. Then what about the all-time classic of basically no distance between them because she always finds some way to grab him?
Just open your mouth and say it!
"…I will." Liar!
He nodded and left as fast as he could. Why? Why couldn't he just say it? He wasn't betraying her; he would, in fact, be doing both of them a favour. And the way his mind immediately went to that, he too considered it somewhat indecent. He couldn't understand the way his mind worked sometimes. He knew he wasn't betraying her trust, he knew it was a little controversial and yet, he would not tell Hijikata, even if he just promised to do that. He was protecting her, he decided; that's why he kept quiet. While at the same time, he knew better and kept his distance.
A dark thought was born in his mind just then, but he dismissed it. He wasn't like that. So, he pressed on unhindered, until he was standing in front of the room. He knocked.
"Come in, please." The moment he walked in, he saw her on the floor, next to a short table and an array of supplies all around her. She smiled excited just for seeing him; something weird happened to him at that. "Hajime; it's so good to see you again…properly." She made a face. "I was slightly tired yesterday and I can't say I remember too much; I was here and then I was in my bed."
His eyebrows raised meaningfully. "Magically."
"Magically." She giggled. "I guess I should thank you-"
"No thanks; just take a look at me. Last time I was on a mission an arrow struck me and it hurts ever since."
"When was that?"
"…half a month ago."
Eyes widened, hands flew to her hips. "Hajime! Why didn't you come first yesterday?"
"…Hijikata wanted to give me your letter."
"Oh." She seemed to remember something. "Oh, that happened! Oh my god, I'm so ashamed! Did he read that one, too?" He nodded affirmatively and she actively tried to hide herself behind her sleeves. "I want to die…!"
"I don't; so, you do what you do and I'll tell you what's happened and what I know."
Thusly, both got to work. Tokio was mortified to find a piece of the tip of the arrow had lodged itself inside him and that's what caused the continuous pain; she took it out and disinfected it to the best of her ability. He on the other hand just told her pretty much all that happened with the vice commander, her nodding thoughtfully when appropriate. Once or twice she blushed, but otherwise said nothing about the mystery prospect.
So, now there was only one matter remaining.
"And last but not least…"
Saitou produced a purple piece of cloth; her eyes shone in recognition and smiled. "My ribbon! Oh, you ran into Sagara-san; did you help him like I asked? What happened?"
"To begin with," he started strictly "I'd advise you not to give away your articles of clothing or accessories to strange men. It's ill-advised." He was surprised to see she simply pursed her lips annoyed at his tone. "You don't think it is?"
"What else could I have done? Monetary compensation would have been trivial and if I wanted it to be substantial then we'd be left with no money for the rest of our journey."
"Don't give him anything!"
"I couldn't; he saved us."
He heaved an irritated sigh. "Why didn't you consult Teruhime-sama about it?"
"Oh, but I did. You won't like her suggestion."
"Really?" He crossed his arms. "What did she say?"
She put her nose up, all superior. "Men like him should not be rewarded with material things, she'd said, it cheapens their efforts," he raised his hands to show his agreement; she kept her superior expression as she continued: "so, men like him should be rewarded with thank you kisses." Saitou stared dumbfounded. "Or good luck ones; or both." Her look was challenging. "But I thought that was inappropriate for an unmarried woman such as myself; Teruhime-sama is divorced, she has another outlook on things like these. So I decided to give him my ribbon and pray you do not attack him before he had a chance to explain. What do you think I should have done?"
"You should never listen to Teruhime-sama about these things, to begin with."
"I don't."
"But that wasn't a good solution either. He could be, and nearly is, an enemy to our cause. And you owe him a favour? Unacceptable."
"But if you gave me the ribbon, it means my debt has been repaid." Her eyes became too narrow. "You didn't kill him, did you?"
He clicked his tongue. "What's it to you, even if we did?"
"He saved my life!" She frantically started searching for evidence of foul play on her ribbon, thinking if Sagara kept it on his person, had he been killed, the cloth would bear specs of blood. "How could you…? I owed him…!"
"Relax hime-sama; he's fine. We helped him get rid of a gang of bandits." The sigh of relief that escaped her sparked something very primal within him. "He could have killed us though; he isn't friendly to the shogun after all, you said it yourself."
"Nonsense," she snapped as she imitated him, only backwards, and buried the ribbon in her kimono "you ran no risk. The men around say he isn't aggressive to shogunal forces—he is very close to Aizu after all. he wouldn't dare."
"If you say so; obviously you know better than Hijikata."
"Hijikata-sama was worried?"
"Yes, he was." The way he said it was as if he had just finished the argument; she huffed, too. "But don't worry too much."
"He wouldn't have hurt you; he promised."
"Promised?"
"Why yes, I told him about you and said those men would help if you mentioned my name, so please don't harm them and he said certainly."
He felt a vein on his forehead about to burst. "We don't need you to arrange things for us! Hijikata was upset you used us, too."
She simply shook her head, looking away. "What do you want me to say, Hajime? That I'm sorry he helped us? Or should I have just listened to Teruhime-sama—?"
"Don't ever say that again." She never noticed him coming close but there he was, only three centimetres away from her face, thunderous. She leaned a little backwards. "Two wrongs don't make a right."
"…alright."
He released a breath as he regained distance; he felt a little disappointed in himself. "Sorry, but I feel strongly about it. He looked like the kind of man who thought of all angles, much like Hijikata. What you did wasn't illogical, but I wish you hadn't."
"Be there with me next time, so I don't need to owe other people favours."
"I-…!"
He stopped too abruptly; everything got confusing. That felt like a compliment but nothing about it was proper. This was also the kind of thing he should be telling Hijikata about…that yet again, he wouldn't. He felt guilty both about not being there and about hiding this, so he frowned furiously.
"I'm not your personal guard, I can't just give up on my post because-…"
"Then don't lecture me; I did the best I could under the circumstances."
He looked away. That's it, she knew she won the argument. Triumphant, she straightened her back, putting one palm on top of the other. "Need anything else before we leave?"
His eyes darted to hers. "You, to be more proper." She felt her cheeks redden. "Hope you can manage for a day."
"Only if you manage to be less severe."
Shit, he smiled; she really won now. "Fine; I'll see you later, hime-sama," he gave in, as he stood. She followed his example, beaming at him.
"I do hope you enjoy the hot springs…! And the small trip there."
"Too many trips," he exclaimed annoyed "no more trips for you, at least for a year." She giggled. "I warned you."
"I'll take my med kit with me."
.
When Teruhime-sama joined everyone for the first time, all were elated to see her well, but most of all her sister – and first wife to Matsudaira-sama – who knew exactly how dangerous the matter of health could be for her. Despite being guests, all of the Shinsengumi men refused to act as anything less than security for their small journey, claiming the guards were much more needed back home where two of the four daughters would stay – due to their young age – and could easily fall victim, since anyone would have heard about their visit to the hot springs by now.
Thus, with the one exception of Takeda, who took to entertaining the young Tsukuyo thus travelling with the first carriage – as if he was a rich man, the asshole – all others remained on horses. Even Matsudaira-sama decided some fresh air would be better and decided to ride one, instead of being with his family, for almost half of the way – in other words, as long as Hijikata allowed him –.
Strangely enough, the journey wasn't tiring; it was refreshing! The beautiful paths, the frosty nature, and the rural beauty, left all satisfied. What made them protest was the fact that men and women had to be separated in two groups and be kept that way until they had dinner.
Hijikata was pleased.
.
"Tokio onee-sama," Tsukuyo addressed her with all formality and Tokio had to cringe because she knew something unpleasant was coming "can I ask you something? But you must promise not to grow angry with me."
The two of the three wives of Matsudaira-sama had taken their bath earlier; Teruhime exchanged looks with Tooka and her sister, Toshihime, the only adult women remaining. Then they looked at Tokio, who was suspiciously staring at her sister, urging her to go on with a nod nonetheless.
"Is Saitou-san the man you were telling mother and I about?" Tokio's expression became blank; her stare zoomed out. "He is very tall after all and does appear too serious all the time."
"He has very unusual eyes, too," her mother jumped right in, relishing her daughter's sudden shock "just like you described them."
Tsukuyo nodded firmly. "And he is of the right age…"
Toshihime looked at her sister once more, noticing how she was fighting with herself, trying to reel the laughter in. Her eyes turned to Tokio sharply, smirk seeping to her words. "What were you telling them about Saitou-san, Tokio-chan?"
"Nothing serious, don't sound so interested."
"Ah!" She giggled. "Is this something like a scandal that I should keep quiet?"
Teruhime couldn't help it anymore. She burst out laughing, nearly drowning herself in the process. "No sister, no such thing," she managed between chuckles "Tokio-chan simply likes talking with Saitou-san."
She clicked her tongue. "Talking? Is that all?"
"Talking at ungodly inappropriate hours of the night while sneaking out of the house to meet him, but yes, just talking."
Toshihime's interest was instantly rekindled. "Tokio-chan! You are not allowed outside the mansion late at night."
"I know-,"
"And to think you do it to meet with a man?" She giggled. "How daring."
"We simply exchange information, that is all."
"So, it is Saitou-san."
"Yes Tsuki, it's him, what of it?"
The sister smiled. "Nothing really…I was simply curious…"
But Toshihime could not be contained. "But he sleeps so close to you now; if you wanted, you could—!"
"—do nothing about it, other than feel safe at night because no one is sneaking out in my home, under my roof." Her mother was absolute. "Not even for something so innocent as talking."
Toshihime giggled again. "Ah, youth; if only I was your age again. You're wasting yours, Tokio-chan; if I were you, I'd definitely do much more than talking."
"Toshihime-sama, I beg you, be more prudent around my daughters. You and Teruhime-sama, too. What is it with you sisters? You may look nothing alike, but your attitudes are exactly the same."
Toshihime glanced at her sister; they shared a laugh. "We have been raised together after all…"
"And it would be a shame such a smart woman like your daughter to end up in a loveless marriage sooner rather than later, without having any fun in the meantime." Tooka's look was warning; Teruhime shrugged. "I won't mince my words, no matter how much I respect you."
"Why don't you and I go now, Tsuki-chan," Toshihime urged the young daughter "before we get too pruney?"
"But I—"
"We are too pretty to be wrinkled like that, come on."
Despite protests and thinly veiled excuses, Tsukuyo was dragged out of the water and away from the developing argument. All the remaining women needed to hear was "we keep this secret, yes?" from Toshihime in order to resume.
"Teruhime-sama, you and I both know it is my husband and not I who wishes for a union so early in Tokio's life."
"You are his wife; you can sway him."
"No, I can't; I have discussed this with you and Tokio a hundred times! Kojuuro sees too much of himself in her and he was introduced to me when he was seventeen; he's convinced that is how Tokio will meet her soulmate, too: through arranged marriage at a young age."
"But he is the exception, not the rule!"
"He understands that; he simply thinks the same will be true for our daughter, too."
"What a ridiculously romantic man."
Tooka felt too ashamed. "I am doing my best to delay it."
So did Teruhime; she knew Tooka wasn't to blame…but she had to talk to someone about it. "I know; I believe you. I heard of the man who is to visit us in two days."
Both women chuckled. "Oh yes; Kojuuro hand-picked him for his status, wealth and age; what he doesn't know is that I made sure he picked him, because he is the most infuriating one of all." Tooka laughed. "Katamori-san will hate him. And Tokio will be allowed to pursue her dreams a little longer."
Only then did they pay attention to the young woman, who was caught off guard staring at the distance – suspiciously where the men's hot springs were –, looking all types of disappointed. When she realised the spotlight was on her, she jolted and tried her best to look less miserable. "Y-yes?"
Her mother sighed. "Sweetie," she started paddling towards her "you know I only want what's best for you, yes?"
"Of course, mother."
Teruhime came close, too. "And you know I would never really lead you astray, yes?"
What did she miss? What was up with all the grand declarations? "Of course."
"Then please listen to our advice." She waited for both women to collect themselves and speak at the same time:
"Don't meet with Saitou-san again."
"Don't stop meeting with Saitou-san."
She stared; the two women, dumbfounded, turned to one another. "But he brings at least some joy to her life!"
"But should anyone see them, her reputation will be tarnished!"
"No one would see them; they don't do anything improper anyway!"
"They only need to be glimpsed to be outcast, no one will care about what is really going on."
Teruhime-sama was so flabbergasted, she stood fully, towering over the other woman! "But if it weren't for your husband's ridiculous ideas about romance and marriage, these two would have never been so close to begin with!"
Tooka felt the same way, and immediately matched Teruhime's height. "That is not the matter under examination here!"
"Then what is?"
"How she should stop meeting with this otherwise most honourable, capable man, in fear she ruins both their good names and reputations."
"Katamori has the power to make it go away immediately."
"But what about their futures? Should both these bright, skilled individuals be buried under emergency measures for not even a real indiscretion?"
And then there was silence; the two older women remained glaring at one another, while at the same time striving to make the other see reason—their reason. Tokio watched them from her spot in the spring, not daring to look away in fear they might throw down. She had to do something to diffuse the tension and fast. but what?
She looked at both one final time; she took a deep breath. "Despite what you said though, I see you do like him, mother." Surprise took over in both women's features. "I mean, you knew who he was before he ever set foot in the house and still gave him the room closest to mine."
"Tch!" Teruhime fell back into the water. "And you have the nerve to call me a matchmaker."
It worked; her mother followed suit, a chuckle escaping her. "I knew who he was from the moment you talked about the man-who-should-not-be-named to be honest. Some things coincided with tales of a daring Saitou Hajime Kojuuro told me about; I only wanted to see how Tokio would react."
"How convoluted of you mother."
But Teruhime only shrugged."So far, so good; she fell asleep and he took her to her room in the presence of her maid and only after one of your senior servants asked him to. You can't get more straight-laced than that."
"Indeed," her mother admitted.
"So what harm could that straight-laced man do? Don't you see—he's perfect for Tokio's circumstances."
"Teruhime-sama," the woman in question had to step in "he's someone I consider a friend…of sorts. I do not wish to use him. I like his company, so I talk to him. If this was an arrangement of convenience, I do not think he would have stood for it anyway, he's too proud."
"You say you like talking to him, I say you simply like him;"
"M—mother!"
"but no matter what, this is a doomed romance."
Tokio grew ten shades darker and it had nothing to do with the hot water. "Wh—who said anything about romance!?"
"I did just now, seeing neither of you are brave enough to do so."
Teruhime looked away. "I don't believe it is romance…at least that's my official standpoint should anyone ask."
"But it's only the three of us now," Tooka scolded the woman "and I'm your mother," she kept on scolding, this once Tokio, who felt like she was going through some sort of realisation "I know you better than anyone. A crush is harmless; a relationship isn't. Stop seeing him. That is what I, as your mother who only wants what's best for you, advises."
Could she be any more guilt-tripping than this? Tokio wanted to faint just so she could stop dealing with this and not just her mother's accusations but also her realisations about her own feelings, damn her good constitution. "I'm not—we don't—there's no relationship! Nor any sort of romance going on, nothing, I swear…!"
"And I believe you, I really do; but if you keep seeing him, how long will that last I wonder?"
"He's a proper man, very proper, who would never…!"
Her mother's look though, was disarming. It made her look away. "If he's as proper as you claim, what is he doing meeting you anyway?"
Tokio fell silent. She could give her mother many alternative answers, ones that would put the blame on her, but that would only make her case worse. Also, she felt she would be lying to herself: a man as proud and capable as him would never be roped into something for more than a month without wanting it to some extent. She blushed. She just accepted she had a crush on him. But did that also mean…?
"You like him; and I believe he likes you, too."
Yeap, there it was, her mother's words confirmed it. Tokio swallowed hard.
"And it is precisely for that matter that I want you to stop seeing him, once you return to the capital." Tokio never raised her head. "Have fun in his company now, make merry, but stop seeing him outside actual coincidental or formal meetings. If what I said is even remotely true, it's best for the both of you and you know it."
Teruhime watched everything closely, but dared not utter a word. Tooka was right. And for what was worth, she really was a good mother. No matter how much she wished she had a daughter like Tokio, she had to understand, Tokio wasn't really her daughter, but Tooka's. And her advice, although valuable, should not outrank the mother's.
"Yes mother." Tokio's defeated tone broke both women's hearts. She hugged herself "I shall do as you say."
Tooka stroke her daughter's cheek with care; then put her hand under Tokio's chin and made her look at her. "But don't forget: make merry while you're here, yes? Have some fun…"
A sad smile. "Yes mother."
"I have a feeling this suitor will be dealt with swiftly and you'll have ample time to feel sorry for yourself later."
A snort of self-depreciating laughter was shared between all three of them. After that, conversation drifted to her studies and what sort of progress she was making; to the shogun and his wives; to Matsudaira and his own wives; to the Shinsengumi as a unit…but none of them mentioned Saitou Hajime again.
What Tokio took away from this meeting were three things: her mother liked but did not approve of Saitou; she had deeper feelings for him than she realised; and what's worse, he may have had them, too. which made it all the worse; her mother was right, she couldn't torture the man. She was arranged to be married once already, she'd be meeting with a new suitor tomorrow or the day after that and if he was shot down, she would be considered taken, for the next rich young man who happened to make a good impression on her father. She should – and had to – let go. What use was it, stringing him along? He could always find another woman, one suitable for him, to marry. And if he was lucky, this one he'd love and she'd love him back. Maybe, they'd have a couple of kids, grow old together and live happily ever after.
So, what if the mere thought made her feel physically sick? She had no right to interfere while he...he had every right to move on.
A/N: Aaaaye, I'm an asshole! Sorry not sorry. I love angst almost as much as happy endings. And ups and downs; and for these two, they are bound to be monumental. So, hope you liked it, did not hate me for it and, admit it, this isn't where you were expecting the prohibition to come from, right? Drop a line or two to tell me your thought.
Love you all,
FAI.