A/N Well this turned into a long talk... Hope everyone enjoys. Thanks as always for the amazing feedback, it's always hugely appreciated!
SILENCING NATURE
Chapter 5 - Deep, Uncharted Waters
What a shame; Helga had been having such a pleasant flight. Her body had been drifting lazily through the air, all her cares and troubles trapped on the ground, miles below. She was practically in orbit. Arnold's words had the effect of an anvil being strapped to her leg, bringing her plummeting back to Earth. Or at least, that's what the sudden, twisting, lurching feeling in the pit of her stomach reminded her of. Helga came to a funny realisation about that unpleasant sensation at that moment; it's your body doing you a favour. All that adrenaline, all that horrible, instant alertness, is telling you one thing, loud and clear; 'brace for impact'.
"That t-talk..?" Her half-lidded eyes had shot to full, bulging wideness, and it was only as she instinctively pulled back that she realised their hands were still connected. In fact, her grip seemed to have tightened even further; she was surprised it wasn't hurting him. Actually, he seemed to be clinging on to her just as strongly, as if he were holding on. Maybe he thought she might run away. Granted, she was capable of it – very capable – but she suspected that sprinting blindly into the dense, mysterious jungle might have interesting consequences...
"I know, Helga. I know this isn't the greatest time to do this." Arnold's own face had fallen in response to the growing distance between the two. Like her, he had let the feeling of their kiss simply carry him away on a cloud. But Arnold was Arnold, and when something was on his mind, it wasn't in his nature to let the matter rest. Arnold was proactive, and right now, he hated that about himself. But this couldn't wait any longer. "I know we're both tired, but I really feel like we need to talk this out while it's still fresh in our heads! And I don't know about you, but I'm not sure I'm gonna be able to sleep until we... wrap our brains around all this. Please?" He could practically hear the scales of judgement weighing in Helga's mind, practically see the war being fought behind her eyes. All he could do was squeeze her hand, his eyes pleading. He couldn't force her to do this if she really didn't want to, he knew that, but he could at least try to show her he was earnest. "You, uh... you did agree before..." He added the reminder, hoping it would tip the balance. The only question was, in which way. He braced himself for the worst.
"I... did, didn't I." Arnold let out a breath he had no idea he'd been holding when, after an endless pause, Helga finally responded. Her voice was filled with uncertainty – and maybe fear? – but it was also calm. More importantly, it was resolved. "A 'calm discussion', right? Can't have you telling the whole school that Helga G. Pataki isn't a woman of her word, heh." The sarcastic quip fell flat, a vain attempt to hide her growing terror. But she couldn't turn back now. It was done. She had agreed to 'the talk', taken that first blind leap. Or was it blind? Helga was a pessimist – a card-carrying cynic and proud of it – but even she could maybe see light at the end of this tunnel. He had kissed her again! That made twice in one day (assuming it wasn't past midnight, but who was counting). And it had been, to put it mildly, mind-blowingly, jaw-droppingly, hair-standing-on-end amazing! Sure it wasn't as 'passionate' as the FTi kiss, but in many ways it had been so much better; for one thing it was mutual... And even Arnold couldn't call it 'heat of the moment'. It had been a moment, sure, but not an adrenaline-filled rush. It had just been... beautiful. And natural. And wasn't that what couples had? Beautiful moments? For the first time in eight years of quietly praying for Arnold's affections, Helga honestly liked her chances. Of course, that made the alternative outcome an even more crushing prospect... The girl released a long, long exhale, as if trying to expel every deep-rooted old doubt and fear from her body. "Ok Football Head, let's do it. Let's talk."
With a nod, and an extremely grateful smile, Arnold rose to his feet. "Let's go over there." With his free hand he gestured to the wall that bordered their tier, where a small section was flanked by the lush foliage that climbed the full height of the city. "I don't want to wake anybody, and I kind of figure both of us would like this to be private." He glanced away at that last comment, the low darkness failing to hide the tint that blossomed on his cheeks. Helga, who had been in the process of rising to join him, stumbled slightly on hearing the words. 'Crimeny, is he trying to make my legs give out again? What the heck does he mean by 'private'?! Like, 'nobody will see you crying your eyes out when I smash your heart like a melon' private, or 'nobody will see us kissing until we can't feel our lips any more' private? I think I'm having an aneurysm...' Her higher mental functioning being otherwise occupied, the girl could do nothing more that steady herself and nod dumbly at the suggestion. Without a word, to Arnold's slight relief, they moved away from the huts and towards their new destination. It was a pretty spot, to put it mildly. From their position on the highest level, they could see the entire ancient city laid out beneath them; a jungle ruin straight out of an adventure novel, but somehow still occupied and full of life, bathed in pale moonlight. Beyond that, stretching into the distance, was the thick, deep green ocean of treetops, appearing near-black under the night sky. And beyond that were the mountains, Volcán Turriable silently lording over it's smaller siblings like a fiery king, their gigantic silhouettes looming over the jungle below as they dominated the horizon. A perfect backdrop for a life-changing discussion, one way or another. The challenge was starting the discussion. Arnold found himself leaning on the wall, his chin resting on folded arms as he stared into the distance. Helga reclined against it too, her back to the stunning view and her arms clutching her body. She was too deeply set on keeping her composure to focus on anything else. Any involuntary trembling she could blame on the night air. And if tears came, well, the jungle was probably full of strange, exotic allergens that were ripe to take the blame. In any case, she needed him to speak soon while she still had a trace of control.
"You have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen."
Helga's head spun so fast that she may have risked whiplash, the eyes in question immediately going as wide as saucers. Even her arms, which had been wrapped tightly around herself, fell limply to her sides. The words had been so quiet, she was sure she must have misheard. Or maybe her Arnold-crazed mind had finally reached the point of taunting her with his voice when she was both asleep and awake. But what she saw made her realise the truth; Arnold looked as though every inch of his face and neck, right to the tips of his ears, had been painted red. He still wasn't looking at her. In fact, he now seemed doubly determined not to look at her.
"...What did you say?" Helga was almost afraid to speak. Whatever illusion this was, she could live there quite happily and had no interest in breaking it. Finally Arnold tilted his head to give her a sideways glance, like he was afraid to meet her eye. Her observation was more-or-less on point; Arnold needed this conversation to go well, and he didn't want to get... flustered.
"I said your eyes are really pretty. Uh, beautiful, actually. They're really blue..." Not quite as smooth as the first attempt, but at least Helga was certain the words were real this time. Helga could only stand with her jaw hanging open, small noises of disbelief squeaking in the back of her throat. With a deep exhale, Arnold finally turned to look at her fully, his hands coming to fidget at his waist. "I didn't know where to start, so I figured it might... break the ice." Seeing Helga's brow immediately rise, his quickly brought up his hands in defence. "N-not that I didn't mean it! I really do, I just..." He let out a weary sigh, his hands falling back. "I'm bad at this."
Now that was hard to believe, Helga thought. Arnold was like a great orator in training! He had talked Harold and Curly out of separate anti-authority stand-offs. He had convinced the crabbiest author of all time to start writing again. Heck, he had convinced her, Helga G. Pataki, to behave like a moral human being on multiple occasions, and all with the power of his words. The only time Helga had seen him this flustered (FTi aside) was during the infamous Lila period of the boy's life, when he was trying to... Oh! Suddenly, that light at the end of the tunnel seemed a little brighter, a little closer. It gave her courage, yes, the amazing courage to stand still and not bolt in the other direction. Hopefully, words would quickly follow suit. Until then all she could do was silently will him forward with her eyes.
"I was planning to say more to you back at the altar. There was... a lot more stuff I wanted to talk with you about." He was still fidgeting, and Helga wished he would stop; it would be much easier to regain her composure if he'd stop looking so cute. "But then we got, uh, interrupted, and then Tiukwí happened. And now everything just feels so much more complicated. I don't even know what to think about all this. Do you?"
He was pulling her into the conversation. It was time to shake off the paralysis and find her voice. "You like my eyes?" Helga mentally facepalmed. 'Idiot! He's asking if you believe that the two are you are genuine, one-in-a-billion, eternally bonded soulmates, and THAT'S what you take from it?! Get a sense of priorities! Creepy 'jungle marriage' stuff aside, this is like something out of your wildest dreams! DO. NOT. BLOW THIS!' She managed to shake herself out her internal monologue before he could respond to her first question. "W-well, the way I see it, Football Head, we've got two options. Option one; we are mighty spirits, crossed over from another plane to smite Lasombra!" She waved her fist in mock-threat, before shrugging. "Or because he 'broke nature' enough for us to slip through, and we thought 'meh, what the heck, its boring here.' Dealer's choice. Our powers are vast and our potential for greatness knows no bounds! Or at least I'm all those things. You're the nice little spirit that tagged along after me to make sure I don't lose my temper. Also you might be the key to world peace and universal harmony or something, I dunno." Again, she chastised herself. 'Way to go Helga ol' girl, be CONDESCENDING to him. That'll work a treat.' At least Arnold had taken the first 'option' with a wide, amused grin so far. He was even chuckling. Time to go for the gold. Helga clasped her hands in front of her and batted her eyelashes, trusting in sarcasm to hide the sincerity in her next words. "Plus, we're apparently beautifully matched soulmates, each the one true love of the other. Each the thing without which the other can never be whole. Pre-designed by the cosmos to fit together in perfect balance. Drawn to each other by the mighty forces of fate and nature itself!" She took a moment to breathe and check on Arnold's reaction. He looked flushed, embarrassed, a little apprehensive and overwhelmed, but not repulsed. 'Nailed it!'
"Let's call that the 'Exciting Option'." Helga pressed on, eager to keep her momentum. She was trying to make a sale here. "Option two is that Tiukwí is an extremely old man who just woke up from an extremely long nap. He's developed dementia to the point where he mistakes those eye floater things that people get sometimes for magical auras. You just happened to cry at the exact moment that volcano stopped erupting, and every animal in the burning jungle simultaneously shut up to enjoy your annoying wailing. Tiukwí saw this and jumped to the perfectly understandable conclusion that you were basically a god. There is nothing special about either of us apart from your head shape, no matter how many times Simmons tells us otherwise, and Tiukwí spun the whole 'made for each other' yarn to try and get you a date. Let's call that the 'Sad Option'." Her words seemed to have the desired effect of wiping the smile from Arnold's face. She kept Option three to herself: 'Eating enough portions of roast pig has caused the same effect as eating a bag of pork rinds. I am currently asleep at the feast having the greatest and most vivid dream of my life, but will ultimately wake up trying to climb next to Arnold on that goofy throne to be worshipped as his queen.'
"Now, I'm always of the opinion that there's just not enough magic in the world, and the whole 'unlimited potential' thing sounds just peachy, so I would probably cast my vote for the Exciting Option. Buy, hey, that's just me. Your thoughts?" Helga finally came to rest, taking a breath and leaning against the wall in what she hoped was a nonchalant position. She tried to maintain the toothy but hopefully not-too-eager smile on her face as she waited for Arnold's response. And she hoped her brow wasn't sweating too profusely...
"Honestly? I have no idea!" Arnold was immediately deep in thought once more, causing Helga's face to fall. Was a dramatic confession of eternal love too much to ask for? "I mean, when Tiukwí was talking, it was so weird how much of it made sense. All that stuff about us being drawn to each other... But maybe it's like when you read a horoscope and you're looking for ways that it can apply to you. I get that the, uh, 'Sad Option' is less interesting, but at least it sounds rational. Except for the volcano thing... There's coincidence and then there's that. I knew about it before, but I'd already heard so many amazing adventures about my mom and dad that I just didn't think about it too much." The boy fell silent, staring at the volcano in the distance and trying to imagine it spewing fire as his parents and Eduardo scrambled for cover. With a sigh, Helga moved to join him, the two of them looking out over all of nature together.
"Arnold, there isn't some easy solution to this. We already got told the story by the shaman of a hidden, ancient civilisation – I'm pretty sure that's as close as anyone's gonna come to giving us the answers on this one. It just comes down to what you choose to believe." Arnold only gave an absent nod at her words, but he was listening. It wasn't the first time Helga had come through as an unexpected source of sage advice. "Look at it this way; if the Sad Option is real, you gain nothing, but lose nothing. Life goes on, plus you have your folks back now. But if the Exciting Option is real, you get all that plus the perks of being destined for greatness! It's a win-win! You know, so long as you don't mind maybe being... stuck with me..." Arnold turned his head to see Helga nervously tapping her fingers together, determinedly avoiding looking is his direction. It was a rare moment of vulnerability, and his heart jolted with guilt. Before Tiukwí had told them his story, everything had finally seemed to be clicking into place. He knew how he felt. And now everything was being turned on its head because the old man's words had left him scared. But that wasn't Helga's fault.
"Helga, it's not the idea of being 'stuck' with you. It's the idea of being 'stuck' with anybody! I don't like this feeling of having no control, even if the situation isn't really... bad." Helga finally turned to meet his eye, looking hopeful once again, before he continued. "I just don't feel equipped to deal with something this big yet." To his relief, she simply nodded. If there was one thing Helga could give legitimately useful advice on, it was hiding from things you weren't ready to handle.
"Then... don't deal with it. Don't think about it. Take all of tonight's Tiukwí drama, put it in a box, and lock it up somewhere until you're ready to handle it. I mean, it's not like the Exciting Option is a limited time offer - if it's true, then it's just who you are. Until then, just do what feels right for you." She watched Arnold smile a little at that; it felt good to offer comforting advice for a change, especially to him. Some of the tension had left him, she could tell, though he still seemed nervous, and the two of them fell into a thoughtful silence. But after a short while, Helga felt that increasingly-familiar warmth at her hand, and she looked down to find Arnold's fingers gently resting on her own.
"What... feels right for me." He muttered, mostly to himself. It sounded like he had reached some kind of conclusion. "Ok. Then putting all the Tiukwí stuff to one side," Helga's heart began to flutter at the contact, until Arnold turned to her with a regretful look, "I think... I owe you an apology. For before." Her heart went from fluttering to plummeting in one swift beat. An apology for what? For when he kissed her? Did he regret it? Arnold saw the panic spreading across her face like a wildfire, and he facepalmed in embarrassment. "Not for the kiss! Not for either of them! Those were... They were..." She could relate as he trailed away, her anxiety somewhat following suit on hearing him rush to clarify. She wasn't sure she could put those kisses into words either. "I mean for before that. For back on the boat, the crow's nest." Helga's body gave an unpleasant shudder at the memory. It had taken her so much bravery, the culmination of an agonising year of uncertainty and the pulling off of her greatest 'win over Arnold' scheme to date. What a resounding Strike Two it had been to see the terror on his face... It had actually made her finally give up in a fit of blind grief. For a few hours. But now, he wanted to apologise? She suspected she'd be more comfortable talking about magical destinies...
"When you came to me back then, everything was already so messed up!" The boy continued, his face pained with earnest regret. "Lasombra was tricking me, and all I could think about was my parents. But I knew that if I actually went looking for them, I'd be abandoning all of you. It meant I'd be breaking my promise to my grandparents! It was the most horrible decision I've ever had to make, but everything till that point had been so amazing, like it was fate!" Helga found it hard to be mad, when she heard it like that. Sure she had been furious, like the rest of the class, when Lasombra had revealed himself, but Arnold would never have agreed to anything the disguised villain had offered if he'd even considered there was the slightest chance thathis friends would be hurt. As easy as it was to blame him, what kid would turn down an opportunity like that when it was thrown in his lap?
"I was up in that crow's nest alone because I felt lousy... I had talked to Gerald just before, and I'd had to lie to his face! I hate lying to anybody..." His eyes, which had been looking away in sad recollection, suddenly turned up to meet hers. "And then, suddenly, you were there, asking me how I was doing. You know, I think you might have been the only person on this trip who could've gotten a real answer from me? It's like that Thanksgiving we spent together, not to mention all this weirdness right now; I can just talk to you somehow, when you act like you want to listen. It's just... easy. I could feel all of that pressure just starting to slip out, like I was ready to explode! But then instead, you brought up... us. It was too much at once, and I panicked, and I'm really sorry." Helga's face flushed. Had her timing really been that bad? Doi, of course it had! The whole reason she made the trip happen was to help Arnold find his parents, and she went and dropped one of her 'passionate-confession' bombs on him before he even found out if they were alive! But it had been building up for so long, and being on that boat in the moonlight had seemed so romantic... It was done, and it was in the past. What mattered now was to move on, and focus all her attention on the fact that Arnold just referred to them as 'us'. As in us, us? Her breath hitched slightly. Again, Arnold seemed to read her, like an open book. She wondered when she would actually need to talk to move this along, not that she was complaining. Words seemed difficult all of a sudden. Worryingly, she could read him too, and he seemed to be bracing himself.
"I wanted to say this back at the altar but, well, that didn't happen. I know you've tried to tell me how you feel before, and I don't just mean on the boat. I know that you weren't just making stuff up on that rooftop last year." That she hadn't been prepared for, and Helga's blood ran cold. Another squeak escaped her throat; it was the only sound she could make for the first few moments.
"You... knew? This whole time?" When she did speak, her voice sounded almost alien to her, small and weak as it was. She only realised too late that, in her shock, she hadn't even considered the option of denying it. But maybe they really were past that point now. Even Helga G. Pataki could only cover up so many tracks. The lie that she hated him had probably flow out of the window with that first, wonderful kiss, never mind the second. Arnold nodded with a soft half-smile. His cheeks were pink again.
"I knew. I figured you didn't mean for things to get as... intense as they did," boy was he right there, she still cringed at the thought of the way she attacked him, "but while it was happening, everything you were saying was too specific to be made up. Poems, and s-shrines..." Helga's hand shot to her mouth; he remembered all that? She had hoped the smaller details of her outburst would have been lost in the haze of that day. "But when it was all over, and we finally had a moment to breathe, you just look so scared. Like you were nowhere near ready for me to hear what I'd heard. I was scared too, and really confused. So when you started to backtrack, I guess I just saw an opportunity to buy both of us a little time with the whole 'heat of the moment' thing. I'll... I'll apologise for that too, if you want me to, but I think it was the right thing to do. I meant what I said back at the altar; I just... wasn't ready to hear it."
"You weren't ready for what?" Helga finally had her voice back, and it sadly came with a hurt scowl. Somehow his words had reopened wounds that had been left from that day. She had been delighted when the 'heat of the moment' excuse was laid on the table; she had danced away feeling scot-free. But as the year wore on, she had dwelt on it so intensely, the nagging worry that Arnold wasn't really that dense and just didn't feel the same way gnawing at the back of her mind. His words had confirmed her worst suspicions, and even after everything they had just shared her old defences were quick to lash out. "You weren't ready to believe that I might actually have feelings? You weren't ready to settle for liking me? Or did I just need to pull more rabbits out of my hat to impress you enough to notice me?! You know, like making this whole nutso escapade happen?!" She waved her arms wildly at their unbelievable surroundings, her voice rapidly growing louder and more frantic. The old, downward spiral. Once again, Arnold made the descent stop, this time by gripping both of her flailing hands, stunning her out of her rant. They were suddenly very close, face-to-face.
"Liking you wasn't the issue, Helga. And please don't put yourself down like that!" Arnold's tone was agitated but soft, and pleading. He needed her to understand. "Do you really think that if you'd just come out and asked me on a date, I would have turned you down flat?"
"Well, doi-" Helga felt the answer was obvious.
"No!" Arnold was quick to cut her off. "You've spent every day of our lives driving me nuts, but I'd never be that cruel! I know how hard it is to approach someone you 'like' like! I know how much it hurts to get turned down..." Mild pain flashed across his face. Lila had been quite the learning experience. "And I've always known you had feelings, that you weren't just a bully, even if you tried to hide it."
"You... would've said yes?"
"I'm not saying I wouldn't have been really shocked. I would've been ninety percent sure you were pranking me, or setting me up in some way, and I'm sure Gerald would have tried to talk me out of it. I'm not even saying I would have looked forward to it. But yes, I would have said yes. But that was before FTi."
"What changed after FTi? Surely if you knew I liked you-" Helga was confused, but part of her mind was starting to get the picture. She wasn't too surprised when Arnold cut her off again.
"I knew you didn't like me – that's the point! You told me that you were in love with me!" Arnold was starting to seem a little frantic himself. Saying the words out loud had suddenly made everything extremely real. This had been building up for a long time too, and unlike Helga, Arnold wasn't suited for keeping things contained. "You told me you loved me, and even with everything you'd said and done to me over the years, I could tell you meant it. When you kissed me back then, I was surprised, and freaked out, but even without kissing you back I could feel how much it meant to you. How would you have felt if after all that courage, I'd told you I didn't know how I felt?"
The very idea sent a cold lurch through Helga's stomach. Granted, it was a step above the nightmarish 'total rejection' scenario, but it would have been hard to take. No, it would have darn near crushed her, and probably made her push him away all the harder out of sheer embarrassment. Arnold saw her visibly pale, and knew he had made his point.
"You'd done so much for me that day. And before then. I wanted to give you a real answer, one that I could be sure was true, one way or the other. I just never thought it would be so difficult." Helga was about to take offence again at that, but he suddenly gave her a look of sincere admiration that made her breath catch. "Like I said, liking you wasn't the issue. You can be mean, and a lot of the time that really bugs me, but you're also amazing when you want to be. You're smart, funny and talented. You're strong and you're creative. I'm pretty sure the poetry Mr Simmons always reads out by 'Anonymous' is actually yours, and that pink book I found too?" He studied her face for a moment, taking her immediate blush as confirmation of what he already knew. It seemed to strengthen his resolve. "So I realised pretty quickly that, if you did mean what you said, I would be lucky to have someone like you be interested in me." Those last words made his blush intensify, and stole Helga's breath away. Usually she only heard so many compliments from the Arnold she met in her dreams night after night; to hear them from the genuine article was an unreal fantasy. She almost wished he would stop there, she'd already gotten more than she had ever thought possible from him, but his face quickly became pained once again.
"But every time I thought about liking you, I'd remember the way you were on that rooftop. I don't think I've ever been that... passionate... about anything before." It was true; he still remembered all too well the desperate, yearning face Helga had worn before their first 'non-scripted' kiss, and the strange spaced-out look she had worn after it. The energy from her in that moment had been overwhelming to the point of making his legs feel unsteady. Helga's 'wonderful – I'll go with you' comment had been of absolutely no help. "And it scared me. I was only nine. I'm a year older now, and I feel like I'm still learning what 'love' is. I didn't know how to approach you about any of this without feeling like I was setting myself up for more than I was ready to handle, and I was afraid that I'd just wind up hurting you. I was going round in circles. Then, just when it was all getting too much, I found my dad's journal a few months ago. It was something else to focus on, so I did. I didn't stop thinking about what happened with us, but I sort of pushed it back in my brain a little bit. Maybe that wasn't fair to you, but I had been dreaming of finding my parents my whole life! Literally, I'd have so many nights where I'd dream that I'd jumped in a plane and come to find them. When I found the map, it just... took everything over. I spent all my free time since then learning everything I could about San Lorenzo and the Green Eyes. I swear I never meant to make you wait this long... But since all of this happened, even before tonight, it's all just seemed so obvious."
To say that Helga was stunned was an understatement. She had truly believed that Arnold had bought the 'heat of the moment' line. Or had she just wanted so badly to believe that? But it had never occurred to her that Arnold had been giving 'them' so much thought since that day. She thought that, at the very least, he had put it out of his mind. Tucked it away where it couldn't bother him. That had been stupid, she realised – when could that boy ever just let something go? In fact, she had been so determined to disregard the whole thing that she never considered, in retrospect, that he hadn't rejected her. He'd just put a pin in the idea. What he was saying was true; he had never been supposed to learn her secret that day. Deep Voice was meant to remain a mysterious enigma to never be solved, but her discovery had left the girl scrambling. The confession had tumbled out like an avalanche, unplanned and out of control. Maybe he had been right... But what interested her more was the last part of Arnold's own confession; he hadn't meant to make her wait this long, it was 'obvious'. Did this entire conversation mean that, after all this time, he finally did know how he felt? This had all been too much, and she couldn't wait any longer. He knew she didn't hate him, and she couldn't pretend otherwise any more; that ship had sailed, hit a football-shaped iceberg and sunk like a stone. It was time to lay her cards on the table.
"Arnold, I understand." Arnold blinked in surprise as Helga spoke; he wasn't quite as used to a monologue as her, and was worried that he'd got carried away or started babbling. Plus, she used his real name, and she sounded so calm. It reminded him of her voice when she had demanded clarity from Tiukwí; the need for a straight answer pushing aside all panic and fear. In reality, he could never have imagined the restraint the girl was exercising at that moment; she wanted to scream at the top of her lungs, and shake the boy by his shoulders until he gave her the answers she wanted. "I know that I'm not... normal. But you're not normal either. That's why I lo-, like you so much. And everything you've just said is so completely you. Doi, of course you wanted to give me an honest, thought-out answer, and of course you wanted to focus on your parents. You're the only kid in the universe who'd feel the need to apologise for that last one by the way." She gave him a small smirk, the first since this dreaded talk began, and saw his tension drop slightly in response. But then her face became determined, her eyes slightly sad. "But, well, I've been waiting a long time. A-a lot longer than you might realise. And after everything that's happened tonight, if we end this conversation without me knowing how you feel, then I... I think 'head exploding' might be an understatement. So just tell me how you feel about me, just based on the stuff you know about me now. Forget about all the mystic mumbo-jumbo we've heard tonight. If you only 'like me' like me, I can work with that. Gladly. Heck, even if you don't like me, spit it out. But crimeny, just put me out of my misery, Football Head!" Her eyes were prickling, much as she tried to be stoic, and she pressed them shut. It was make or break time. After the most bizarre, convoluted series of events that she could ever have imagined, after dreading the answer for most of her young life, she had finally outright asked Arnold how he felt about her. No distractions, no escape routes for either of them. No approaching vessels or imminent demolitions. Her mind was rattling off everything Arnold had done that night alone to let her believe she might really get the response she dreamed of hearing. Every compliment and kind word, every touch of their hands, every bit of mystical weirdness that he had heard from Tiukwí without running away screaming. The kisses... She wasn't sure how many seconds she waited for an answer, but it felt like hours. His grip on her hands tightened.
"I love you, Helga."
She could only gasp. Four simple words, but each of them hit her like a firework. Well, the second was more like a low-yield missile. She could scarcely allow herself to believe her ears hadn't been playing tricks. Helga could have happily died then and there with those four words alone, but Arnold wasn't done.
"Going through all of this with you has been so incredible, and none of it would have happened without you. I don't know whether Tiukwí is right about us or not, but I feel like you do balance me out in this really awesome way. You always have. The thought of losing you today was the worst feeling ever. There's more, but... I can't even describe it. I just know. I'm still scared, but I don't want to waste time or hurt you by pretending it's not there any more. I love you."
He loved her. He loved her. He. Loved. Her. Helga G. Pataki! She could say the words in her head over and over, and she still wasn't sure she'd ever believe it. She could dance all the way through the jungle, onto the plane and right back to Hillwood, only she couldn't feel her legs. A thousand tiny Helgas were scrambling around in her head screaming 'Victory!'. All she could do was keep her eyes shut tightly and take deep, cleansing breaths, otherwise she would a) collapse into a weeping puddle of elation, b) start laughing so insanely that Arnold immediately retracted his decision and tried to set her up with Curly, or c) tackle him at a bad angle, sending them plummeting to their deaths on the cobbles below. Admittedly, Option C seemed the most romantic, in a very 'Romeo and Juliet' sort of way. This was all she had ever wanted, all she had asked for. Well, also an unconditional surrender from the United Nations, but mostly this!
"Helga? Can you... can you say something please?" Her eyes shot open to see Arnold still inches away from her. His hands still hadn't left hers, and his face was painted with shy, sheepish worry; the look of someone who had just laid their heart on the line. His eyes widened as she tore her hands free, and he released a small, surprised wheeze as the girl threw herself at him with all her might. Option C, minus the fatalities since Arnold managed to stay upright. It was a few moments before Arnold overcame his shock enough to place his arms around her, as she had done to him, and only then did he register that she was trembling. His brow furrowed in concern, he rested his head on her shoulder.
"I love you too, Arnold. Crimeny, I love you too. Oh man, does it feel good to finally say that!" She mumbled into his own shoulder, her voice breathless and disbelieving. Immediately afterwards she lapsed into tearful giggles. Apparently Options A and B would also be making minor appearances. Arnold suddenly found himself hugging the girl that he had seen hints and whispers of day after day since he was three-years-old, and he could do nothing but hold her tighter and let his own smile spread across his face. Helga, on the other hand, began to suspect that Arnold's parents would need to pry her off with a crowbar if and when they wanted a turn. She wanted so badly to kiss him again, but she had taken his words to heart; she was afraid of being too intense and scaring him away. It took willpower, but if he was willing to give her this chance, then she was at least willing to let him set the pace.
"Helga, I- mmf!"
Ok, scratch that. As Arnold pulled back to say whatever he had to say, her lips had shot to his on pure instinct. Her arms quickly went around his neck, her hands moving to his hair, a quiet, humming moan escaping her throat. This was nowhere near the outrageous intensity of the FTi rooftop, but was decidedly more 'Helga' than their previous kisses that night. And it was wetter, her face having been streaked with happy tears. What little part of her brain was still functioning could do nothing but vaguely hope that Arnold could forgive this one moment of weakness. She felt a dull panic as his hands went to her shoulders, fully expecting to be pushed away to face whatever admonishment may come, but instead they simply rested there lightly. The contact at least brought Helga back to her senses enough to bring the kiss to an end, their lips finally parting. Her face was blushing maroon, and getting worse with each passing instant of realisation that her 'don't scare him away' rule had lasted all of five seconds. She opened her mouth to begin a stuttering apology, when she finally took in the sight of Arnold's face. His own cheeks were rosy and his lips were still slightly puckered, but the most amusing feature was his eyes. They looked completely glazed; the boy was on another planet. At least his hat stayed on his head this time... After a second, he joined her back on Earth with a decidedly Helga-ish shake of his head, and the girl finally thought he might hear her apology instead of it travelling in one ear and out the other. She cleared her throat, her own sheepish, toothy grin quickly in place.
"Ok, heheh. So that one was my bad, a little moment of weakness. I am otherwise completely respectful of your football-headed wishes to not get carried away." Arnold simply folded his arms and regarded her with a cocked eyebrow; he seemed to be taking the whole thing reasonably well, but Helga felt the need to press on, nervously rubbing her arm. "A-and in my defence, Arnoldo, you should know to expect this kind of thing when you tell a girl you love them. Um, i-if they love you back, that is..." She was quietly making a solemn vow that, so help her, he would never need to say those words to another girl again; she would make sure of it. To her immense relief, Arnold finally broke down with a chuckle, his hand making its usual route to the back of his neck.
"Yeah, I guess I knew what I was getting into. And it wasn't exactly bad..." He flushed a little brighter before his face became serious once more. "I meant what I said. I do love you, and I'm really happy that you, um, l-love me, but I hope you can understand that this whole thing still seems kind of a lot to take. I know your spirit has – how did Tiukwí put it – 'intense passion'," he shot her a teasing look at this, making her roll her eyes, "but... it's going to take time for me to get used to all this. I just got my parents back, and... I don't think I'm ready to stop being a kid just yet. So maybe nothing too intense, ok?" Helga nodded rapidly; she was hardly surprised. Arnold was mature, mature enough to handle this whole situation to begin with, but she didn't want him to be overwhelmed. She would let him set the pace – for real this time.
"W-works for me. I can't guarantee that the odd, er, 'outburst' won't happen, but I'll do my best, ok?" Arnold nodded, his own eyes rolling. He meant what he said – he'd had a fair idea of what he was getting into. "So... what happens now?"
"I don't know..." Arnold sat on the wall, boldly swinging his legs over to dangle over the edge. He suddenly found himself in deep, uncharted waters, loving a girl who loved him back. Helga quickly came to join him, the two side-by-side, legs swinging over the ancient city spread out beneath them. Their hands joined again in what was quickly becoming an automatic response. "I guess we go home. Work out the kinks as we go. I'd like to get to know you better, hang out as friends. Maybe go on dates and stuff when we're ready. I-if you would like that, that is." He hastily added the last part, causing Helga to let out a soft breath of laughter through her nose. As if she would let dating Arnold slip through her fingers.
"Meh, we'll work something out." An uncomfortable thought suddenly nudged its way into her head. The real world, and many of the annoying people that occupied it, were only a boat ride away. Her face grew concerned. "I... can't promise I can just flip a switch and be all 'sweet and caring' once this is over. Not with other people and especially not with those yahoos from school. I'm still bad to the bone, y'know!"
Arnold chuckled again. "I understand. I'd probably feel worried if I didn't get plastered with spitballs every day!" It was true - the last time it happened he had been strangely concerned for his bully. "Going slow goes both ways, I guess."
"Good." Helga let out a sigh of relief; he didn't expect the world from her, just an honest effort. Still, she didn't want to dwell on the subject – she guessed she'd have plenty of time for doubts and worries once the euphoria had worn off. "So tell me more about these 'dates', Football Head? I'm tough to impress, ya know – nothing on the cheap!"
"Well I always figured we'd have this conversation at Slausen's. Or maybe after a walk through the park." His response sent Helga's imagination on a journey, image after image of idyllic moments with her beloved dancing through her mind's eye. "Maybe we could go to the next Cheese Festival. Wait, no!" Arnold's suddenly sat up a little straighter, his face cringing. "Bad things happen to me when I try to impress girls at that festival! I swear, you wouldn't believe-"
Helga sat in careful, mortified silence as the long-suffering boy regaled her with two festivals' worth of tragic, humiliating mishaps. There would probably be a time to start revealing the 'guiding hand' she'd had in his dating life so far. That time was much, much later. Like after their wedding. As his rant died away, Helga's own train of thought had left her troubled again, much as she tried to resist. There was a new elephant in the room.
"Sooo, I hate to bring it up since this has been pretty darn amazing, and all," she hesitantly began, "but how much are you gonna tell your parents about the Tiukwí stuff? Plus, Geraldo knows at least some of the details. I just figure we might need to come up with a 'party line' on this one." Her point made Arnold's eye widen again, and he gave a small gulp. His parents seemed to know most (he hoped not all) of the details already, but he had no desire to let them know that the old guide they liked so much considered their ten-year-old son married... And then there was Gerald. Arnold really didn't want to lie to his best friend again, but maybe omitting a few particular details wouldn't hurt.
"I'm still not completely sure how much Tiukwí told my parents, but I guess we'll find out soon enough. As for Gerald, I think we should tell him the truth, minus the whole 'bonded' thing." He saw Helga give him a severely sceptical look, and felt the need to justify. "After everything the three of us have been through today, I just feel like he deserves not to be left out. Besides, Gerald knows how to keep a secret."
Helga let out a small groan; she hated it when he was right. "Fine, fair's fair. I guess Tall Hair Boy did save my life on that stupid bridge today. Man, I hope he never clocks on to that one – I'd never live it down. But if he makes one crack about any of this, I'll make sure he meets a few 'spirits' in person." Arnold smirked again, his eyes half-lidded.
"Whatever you say, Helga."
And with that, both began to realise, it was done. They'd had 'the talk', passed through the ring of fire (relatively) unscathed, and now there was no going back. They returned to their peaceful silence for a while, each wondering what the next days and weeks would hold, each relishing the small comfort of the warmth of the other's hand. Arnold knew that the times to come would be a difficult balancing act; he and his parents had a lot of catching up to do, and he hoped that Helga would understand. Maybe they'd want to get to know her too, depending on just how much Tiukwí had revealed. In any case, it was a challenge he was more than happy to face. Helga, on the other hand, had quietly begun pinching her leg, each small sting of pain almost convincing her that this was real. She would have plenty to tell her own best friend when they were reunited, though she had an inkling that Phoebe would be every bit as occupied in the near future as her, given what she witnessed between the girl and Gerald in Lasombra's prison. And she dreaded to think about the bundle of crazy she would be unloading on Dr Bliss; they might need to make it a double session. Until then though, Helga could allow herself to enjoy this moment of blissful peace. Taking a chance, and a deep breath, she boldly rested her head on Arnold's shoulder. Even that mild contact sent a electric tingle through her body.
"So, Football Head," she grinned as her beloved turned to smile at her, "tell me more about my eyes."