A/N: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey! Long time no see folks. Hope you had happy holidays and a great welcoming of the new year. Let's all hope this year will indeed be better than the last one. Sorry for the prolonged absence but daaaamn man, I haven't stopped working for three works. Only on Christmas day, the one after and New Years. Three days. But I am pulling through, somehow to deliver you this. Know that I'm ashamed of my delay yet also know it was pretty much inescapable.
Without further ado, here is the new chapter!
Historical facts:
1. July 20-24th: The Shinsengumi, Saitou included, made for the Tennozan Hill; from there they headed to Fushimi and then Osaka, where they subjugated and attacked enemy troops as they went. They carried favour with the Osaka magistrate.
2. July 25th: they return to the capital.
Timeline: July 25th, 1864.
A fine lady...
...and disappearances.
Okita sighed wistfully. "It's really been a week, huh? Since we last saw the compound…"
The bespectacled man, riding the horse next to him, nodded sagely. "I know. It feels it was a moment ago we were fighting to keep everyone out. But it wasn't."
It really wasn't.
The Shinsengumi had just come back from Osaka, after all, where they had launched a successful attack on the Chousuu storehouse a day ago; starting from Tennozan Hill, they travelled to Fushimi where they actually stayed overnight and found themselves hunting down the remaining Chousuu troops, ending up in the port city.
The city magistrate had been very lenient with Hijikata's interfering ways – until the decision was made to attack – and was all but thrilled by their presence there, knowing it only brought benefits, so close to the defeat of the Chousuu side. Stability, security, respect, you name it. And when the famed Wolves of Mibu, as they came to be known amongst regular folk, proved to be so effective against the threat, renewed loyalty and reverie for the shogun – by extension his representatives, too – was immediately expressed by the public.
Reasonably pleased by the swift confrontation with the rebels that lead to the most desirable outcome, the Osaka magistrate gave certain members – such as Saitou – the right to patrol his city. That decision carried both positives and negatives: he was free to return to Osaka whenever he wanted, consider it home, but at the same time, he operated with additional weight on his shoulders. Also, if the Aizu-han decided this wasn't to his liking, he could put an end to it at a moment's notice.
Hence, Saitou and Okita, in the company of the weariest he had ever been Nagakura, rode to the Matsudaira compound instead of their headquarters, in order to deliver the news, and allow the man to make up his mind. There was no conceivable reason for him to deny their appointment, seeing Osaka has always been friendly to the shogun and his agenda, but the formality remained and they had to ask for permission.
Okita pouted then, looking off to the distance. "It feels like an aeon since I last saw Tokio-chan, though! And to think I actually saw her that day, too."
Nagakura's head snapped to his friend. "When?"
Okita's "wait, don't tell me you didn't know" look, full of gossip and promise was directed at his friend almost accusingly. "Just before the rebels arrived, she tried to sneak out."
Nagakura laughed; Saitou shook his head. "How daring of her! Why?"
"Oh, well, who knows?" Okita's eyes became small and full of meaning as they slid to the tallest man of the group. "Fine ladies and all that, ne Saitou-san?"
"…right."
That little shit! He put him in the spotlight. Nagakura was no fool, he could read between the lines, especially when Harada wasn't around to distract him with his tomfoolery. Simply bringing this up out of the blue could lead to Nagakura finding out—not only would that enrage Hijikata, it would also bring Tokio in an awkward position…and him, sort of exposed to his friend's mockery and teasing. It was fortunate he had such a good poker-face, otherwise he would have strangled Okita by now.
He hadn't forgotten that thing Okita had supposedly done and Tokio promised to tell him, too. He just never got a chance to ask. And after a glare he made sure only Okita saw, they all gave the familiar tug on the reigns and they started for the compound.
There was a stark difference with the scenery: the ruined double fences had been restored to their former glory almost completely. The gate that was pushed down so the Chousuu could invade, had been rebuilt, but stronger. In fact, the compound resembled a fortress now, walls higher and sturdier than ever.
Yet, as they rode closer and were allowed inside the perimeter, they could clearly see the black spots where the fires had caught on the ground, or the bare of any green patches in the garden. Some stones were blackened as well, some ashes here and there…but, true to his word that day, none of the interior had been in any way disturbed; only the outside was damaged.
Satisfaction coursed through Saitou again as he surveyed the area. Workers and servants came and left, carrying, building, helping; women or elderly men, brought food and water to the people labouring away, under the hot summer sun. yet, despite that, they were all wearing black, no doubt a tribute to the men who fell that day. In respect, all three riders inclined their heads to the people they faced, honouring the dead, especially Saitou, who had the command that day. He did not feel guilty, he knew some deaths were inevitable; if anything, he was thankful there were so few casualties.
But the fact they were still his responsibility remained.
None of those they saluted seemed to hold a grudge though; some were even elated by their presence—the moment they laid eyes on them, their faces lit up or bowed deeper than usual. It was a foreign feeling to all three of them, for anyone to be so excited to see them, thus they savoured it as long as they could.
When they finally reached the actual entrance, they all jumped off their horses – two servants came and took them to the stables – and made a bee line for the Aizu-han. Who, actually came and met them halfway! He was too excited to see them, all things considered, yet at the same time, his energy felt…nervous? Fidgety? It was a peculiar aura for the man to exude, but all three caught on, exchanging looks full of meaning.
At first, they feared it was because he was about to refuse them their post. He was undoubtedly informed of the Osaka's magistrate decision, meaning he had already made up his mind, thus, if it was unfavourable, it would make some sense to be nervous. But why would he be nervous? His word was law. A little bothered, the men started the formalities with the man, as soon as they met; they continued all the way to his office and then some.
Once those and the pleasantries were over, they came down to the purpose of their visit.
It was with a start that they found Matsudaira to be elated by their new patronage and newest ally; the Osaka magistrate was a long-standing friend and like-minded individual, he had praised, and they were all capable. It was a mutually beneficial alliance. It would be with great pleasure to give them leisure to act.
Even more wondered than before, they exchanged looks again.
"I also heard of your achievements on the battlefield; Saitou, I have to mention in particular, for Tokugawa Akira himself praised you." Saitou inclined his head. "Naturally, the leadership and quality of your actions, all of yours, I saw first-hand a week ago…a week that feels a century ago."
"Thank you, my lord," and other variations were heard once or twice, but they still caught that whispered phrase of his.
Somehow, it put them on edge.
"Am I to assume that is the reason you visited? To be granted permission?"
Saitou nodded, but spoke for good measure. "Yes, my lord."
"You are permitted. Now, all you have to do is head back and rest for the day, correct?"
The day was still very young; although they needed the rest, Matsudaira was unusually to the point. Was it their idea or was he rushing them?
"Indeed sire," Okita replied, glib, "but if there's something you desire from us, we are all ears."
That was it, the source of his problem. The moment Okita said that, both a weight lifted off his shoulders and his chest expanded in anxiousness. "There is indeed a matter I need your assistance with." Unlike before, the lord's eyes became evasive, his stance grew defensive. He turned away from them, hands behind his back, looking out of his window.
Eyebrows were raised.
"You see…with these happening around us in the capital, Tokio's father…he grew worried."
Oh no; Saitou's lips went dry.
"He wrote me a letter, which I received a mere day ago, stating he was coming here to check on the situation and, should he find it unsuitable, take his daughter back to her birthplace."
With each of Matsudaira's words, his heart quickened its pace, hammering against his chest now. He only dared look at Okita, whose just as concerned – just worse concealed – expression, made his palms sweat.
"I estimate he will be arriving here in…two days from now. He stated so in his letter."
But wait a second; that might be a reason for him and maybe Okita to feel like someone drew the carpet right under their feet, why was Matsudaira acting like that? It was Nagakura who spotted it first, the one least invested in Tokio's stay. He had to thread pieces together to make some sort of sense, but in the end managed a confused: "Kojuuro-sama is coming here and you worry about the state of the compound?"
"No, no, not at all; considering everything that happened, it feels like an achievement it has already come this far in its repair…tis only…y-you see…"
They saw his thumb rub against his skin, a comforting gesture to himself; they heard his voice strained. He still wouldn't turn to face them. Their eyes found each other in rapid succession, something acidic rising in their throats.
Saitou had a very bad feeling about this. They all had.
"Kojuuro, he is…always on time, and yet…I…I even received news…!"
He stopped talking. He took a deep breath in a final effort to collect himself and the knot in Saitou's stomach was firmer than ever. He saw it now, what was wrong: he wanted to use them, to find him.
Kojuuro had gone missing.
Those were the news he received, Saitou was certain. And now he needed to embark on a journey to find Tokio's father, or he'd never forgive himself. Heh, no wonder she was nowhere to be seen; he really felt that something was off from the moment people started praising them loudly and she didn't come running out to meet them, the same Tokio who attempted a sneak peek at them when they were about to do battle.
Good lord, she must have been devastated…!
They seemed to be having the same thought, all three, as their chests expanded at the same time, back even straighter. "We will help you, my lord," Nagakura began,
"no matter what it is you want us to do," Okita continued
"or however difficult it is," Saitou finished.
"Good…great…! Then please, I beg of you: bring me his daughter back."
"Of-…."
The words died in Nagakura's mouth; time stopped for a tiny second as all three gathered their wits about them.
"What," now?
Okita might have put it bluntly, but he wasn't wrong. He expressed everyone's sentiment loud and clear: what the ever-loving hell?
Matsudaira finally turned to face them, but he almost cringed at their flabbergasted countenance. "Kojuuro's letter arrived a day after Tokio went missing; as if he knew…! And he'll be arriving in such a short time yet I have been unable to find her body even, I don't know what to do."
Did he say body? As in, dead body!?
"My lord, please start at the beginning," Nagakura all but drowned at his own words "Tokio's missing for two days now?"
He nodded morosely.
"Has she been kidnapped?" Nagakura egged on.
He shook his head. "There was no ransom note to be found; no one made any contact."
"Then what?" Okita blurted out a little disrespectfully, hurry and disregard for the lord's feelings shining through.
"We believe one of two possibilities to be the case: one, she was taken. Two…she is already dead."
Saitou had to remind himself to just. Breathe.
"How did you reach this conclusion, my lord, if I may?" Nagakura asked as calm as he could, catching Saitou's poker face in his peripheral.
"She had gone to bed early that night but was late to rise the next, so, we grew restless; once midday came and she was nowhere to be found, her handmaiden could no longer help it and rushed inside…only to find the place deserted. She was simply spirited away."
Ah, shit; Matsudaira's voice almost cracked while still annunciating. There was no way he didn't believe what he said and that made it all the more real and breathe Hajime, breathe…
"We searched the room but found nothing; Hachiro was gone, too. Whoever took her knew not to disturb the dog, most possibly won him over or threatened Tokio to make him listen. Whatever happened, no violence occurred; there was not a single drop of blood to be found. So, either someone came in and took her away or…someone killed her and made her disappear." His breath came out shaky. "And no one saw a thing! None. They have no idea."
Alright, reminding himself to breathe did him good; he could think clearer now. "My lord, if I may, have you disturbed the room since then?"
"No, not at all. We made sure to leave it as it was, pending your return."
"I see." His hand went to his chin, gears turning. "I do not think she is dead, my lord. I believe she was taken." Or left willingly. "The lack of blood is telling. I can make a better assessment once we get there, but let me first ask you: what did she do the days prior to her disappearance?"
"The usual: took care of the men who fought in the battle, both here and in the city centre. She volunteered, it ate away many of her hours. I was opposed to it, but it was safe, she always had guards with her." Matsudaira shook his head. "To think she proposed she goes to the badly burnt side of the slums to help the common folk better…!"
Alright, now Saitou was certain: she was being a little rebellious shit and sneaked out to the exact place they told her not to go to aid in the relief effort. Made sense why no one reported any strange individuals coming and going. There was still a chance this was an inside job – he didn't forget that guy who said he'd fight for her and his sentiments might have gotten the better of him – but that was easy to ascertain. Still, knowing her, there was a 99.9 per cent chance she did this on her own.
That little…! He demanded those three years of his life he just lost back—once he saw her he'd make her regret doing this. He felt like he actually grew grey hairs, too!
"My lord," Saitou started confidently "give me a day. I am certain I'll have found her by then. If I'm back without her though, I will personally go as far as I can to smoke out anyone who might have left Kyoto with her; and drag these two with me while doing it."
Something resounded deep within Matsudaira. The way Saitou stepped forward to claim responsibility was inspiring; his firmly set brow worthy of admiration. And his argument compelling. The lord took a good, long look at him. Saitou always showed conviction in whatever he said or did and this was no different. In fact, should Matsudaira be pressed to decide, he'd say this is the most convicted he had ever seen him—assuring, too.
He had no reason not to place his absolute trust in him.
"I will grant you permission to search for her in my name." He easily parted with his insignia ring and tossed it to him. "If there's someone who disagrees with you or your methods, show him this."
Surprised, yet not at all inconvenienced by this action, he put the ring in his pocket.
"If they still won't comply to your wishes, I believe we might have found our perpetrator."
"Indeed sir; but I must ask you I go alone. It would be much wiser to leave Nagakura and Okita behind to come up with possible scenarios of escape routes and the like. Also, one of them needs to interrogate the staff, if not both." To the lord's confusion, he immediately retorted "if one goes missing from a fortress like this one, who knows who might have done it."
"Are you implying-?"
"No; saying. Though I do not believe that is the case. No matter, tomorrow we will have our answer my lord." He bowed deeply. "I leave the rest to you," he ordered as he exited the room; he didn't have to turn back to know they both nodded vigorously.
The first thing he did was visit her quarters.
"Did your lady run away?"
The fact Hachiro was missing, too all but cemented it for him, but he still had to ask. And yet, Ochako, who was standing beside him, became downcast almost immediately. "Wouldn't my lady tell me?" He gave her a look; the maid sniffled. "She never did! She was just gone! And I swear, I tucked her in like always, nothing was amiss; I wasn't negligent!"
"I believe you—,"
"They keep saying how I was slacking off in my duties, I wasn't there to hear her; but my lady makes me sleep away! She is upset when I don't, how could I hear?"
"You couldn't, it makes no sense to blame you, I agr-"
She wasn't listening to him though, she only kept crying-shouting in the middle of the room. "She can't have run away, she would have told me, asked me to help her; even Hachiro was taken and…! I…I…! I am to blame, aren't I? This is all my fault; I should have never left her alone in such turbulent times, how could I? I am such an unworthy idiot!"
"I don't have the patience for this right now," he stated uncaringly. And her 180 change had given him pause for a second there. "If you want to be comforted, go find Nagakura, leave me alone. I have to make my assessment."
And all this time, his observations were slightly obstructed by her antics. "Go cry to him, or stay here and be silent."
"O-okay," she squeaked, jostled out of her guilt.
"Before you leave, answer me two more questions: are any of her clothes missing with her, too? And did you happen to find that purple pin she always wears here?"
Giving her something to mull over did the trick; tears and self-pitying were replaced by an expression of deep concentration. "Now that you mention it…there was one of her purple kimono missing. The simple one. And yes, the pin was gone, too." Her eyes snapped up to his. "Did she really run away?" a chill ran through her body. "You think it was because…she predicted her father would come back and feared he'd marry her off?"
He gave her a double take. She hit a nerve! The man's colour drained and something close to worry appeared on his face—his face of all people…! "Saitou-san?"
"I don't know, but that could indeed be a factor." He didn't have enough variables to be concerned about, now he had to add this to the mix! "Now go."
She did it without a second's delay. He hit the ground at the same time, looking for any sign of struggle, yet there was none. Some things were out of place, some tossed around; the futon was still on the floor, a little all over the place…but nothing that indicated she had put up a fight. Maybe they knocked her out, one could argue, but how possible could that be? Besides, the other two would look into the matter of an insider—he only had to worry about his own theory.
And the obvious lack of any sort of disturbance almost assured him she had left herself. If she had, she would have followed a certain path: the closest or safest way from her room to that same room she always snuck out from. He considered. It would be worth the trouble retracing her steps. Maybe he could spot something the others didn't, something on the floor, on one of the walls. So, he did just that and made sure to order a servant he saw to call on one of his comrades as he was walking the only route he could, without raising any suspicion: the shortest one. He couldn't know or ask which route would be the best to sneak out from, for that would imply he would ask for the guards' schedule and that was forbidden.
As he made his way to the examination room, Okita ran into him. "What is it?"
"If you want to be more effective, ask who was walking these corridors at any given moment. If my suspicions are proven to be true, if there was purposeful negligence, we shall know."
"As you wish." A pause. "What are your suspicions, Saitou-san?"
"Don't tell Matsudaira, but…" He leaned in close. "I believe she might have left voluntarily."
The man's eyebrows were raised high. "She did what?"
He put a finger over his mouth. "Nothing I can prove yet; just let me do what I can." With that, he was walking away again, nearly inside the examination room. "I'll be back in a day."
"Best of luck!"
He nodded his thanks. His walk had been fruitless, but his next search…he was certain it wouldn't. He headed straight for the stables to get his horse. He had to ride all the way to the burnt side of the slums and look for her the old-fashioned way: door-to-door. Though, how wise that was, still wearing his Shinsengumi haori, remained to be seen.
.
"Have you seen a woman this tall," his hand reached his chest "with black hair and a purple kimono, named Tokio? She has a black dog with her."
This must have been the twentieth time he made the exact same question.
"Ah, yes; she was here half a day ago, helping with the wounded. She moved up the hill and I haven't seen her since."
And this was the twentieth time he received such an answer.
His hunch was right. she had indeed taken off to come help the people; he bet she had no idea her father had made plans to come to the capital—she did leave before his letter reached them. it was simply a case of bad timing. But since she did come here, against the expressed wishes of the lord, how come she said absolutely nothing? Shouldn't she warn someone so that something like this could be avoided? Disobeying and making it look like you've been kidnapped are two very different things and he knew Tokio was many things, but a drama queen wasn't one of them.
This was very complicated; he didn't have all of the information to make an educated guess but at the same time, his limited knowledge still proved to be right. there was something at play here, something sinister. Too many variables. And too much chasing—for the past three hours he did nothing but follow lead after lead to one place to the other.
He sighed. He couldn't leave the horse somewhere and go look for her on foot and that was killing him. whatever time he saved from having a horse, he lost by getting on and off again, searching through the debris and asking around.
So, he went a little north, climbing the hill.
It was very disheartening, to look at the disaster, especially from a vantage point such as this; the damage to the capital was irrefutable severe. The emperor, holed up in his castle, shying away from the problems of the common folk, did nothing. He was young, one could say; well, so was the shogun, but he did try. He put in the effort. One of the reasons he had chosen to serve him: despite the young of his age, people expected great things from him, and he actually delivered.
He also cared for the people, something that he could not see that much from the emperor. Of course, all those thoughts he'd never voice out loud, but he was still allowed to make them.
Finally, he saw a cluster of some relatively still standing homes, people coming and going around them. his eyes fleeted from face to face, kimono to kimono, to try and spot the one he was looking for. But no such luck.
A little annoyed, he dismounted again.
"Excuse me for disturbing you, but have you seen a woman this tall" his hand reached his chest "with black hair and a purple kimono, named Tokio? She has a black dog with her."
Three men stopped to consider his question; they exchanged looks. Saitou became suspicious. One kept nodding to one another and then the two all but walked away, leaving the youngest one, a haggard man of maybe thirty-five, to relay the news.
"Yeah, she was here." He averted his eyes as Saitou approached and the Shinsengumi man started feeling uncomfortable. "She was helping with a woman who was trapped under a beam, over there," his chin jutted out to show a collapsed house "four hours ago…but, ya see, she, um…she didn't-I mean, she did but then she…"
"Speak clearly."
His voice was commanding; the older man nodded furiously, maybe a little scared by the uniform, too.
"She's dead, laddie."
What?
"The beam fell and killed her."
Wh…at?
A hand came and slapped the man in the face and Saitou jolted. "No, you idiot," a loud female voice snubbed "Tokio was the one who survived."
Oh dear, merciful Buddha! Thank you.
"They never managed to take the other one under the beam and sadly, she passed. Don't say such things, you'll give the man a heart attack. Look at his colour."
"Ah, you're right dear; I kept confusing them four hours ago, too."
His wife, from the looks of it, shook her head exasperated. "We are so very sorry sir. Tokio was alive and well four hours ago; she left and headed over there," she pointed a little norther up the hill "a little defeated, after that woman died."
That sounds like her, he thought relieved…but he still wanted these years, twenty in total by now, of his life back!
"Thank you," he said a little too formal and bowed "and sorry to bother you. I know you have a mountain of things to do."
"Ah, no, it's quite alright. Everyone is looking for everyone these past few days, it's only reasonable. And if I'm being honest…" she came a little closer "Tokio seemed a little too well dressed and educated for these parts. No wonder a Shinsengumi man is looking for her."
Observant woman. He simply nodded. "I wish you all the best in your search sir," she said in the end and he mounted his horse. Time to go looking again.
.
She went high; she went low; she headed to the demolished part of the slums; now she was in the emergency response team. She was all over the place! When did she even have the time to do all of this? it took him this long just to go from one location to another, how fast did she walk?
He met a lot of people these few hours. Men, women; there was a foreign-looking woman, with blond hair but a perfect Japanese accent amongst them. Her mother was from Holland she'd said, long dead. She was looking for her father, a short man with black hair. Had he seen him? No, he'd replied; had she seen Tokio? She nodded no and he went his way. Then there was the odd one-legged old man. He saw a woman like her, named Tokio, she was in that unburnt house. He went looking, he found nothing…but an empty container, like the ones she used to store her salves.
He rode a little further away. a man said there was a woman like that, accompanied with a dog, there yesterday; he hadn't seen her since. There was a woman nearby, who overheard him; should stop looking for her, she'd said grimly, the girl is dead.
He paled, he swallowed and asked again for verification. The girl is dead, she insisted, the doctor lady pronounced her so that same day. Tokio is the lady doctor, he informed. Oh, she'd said lamely, then she's alive. She went towards that housing block.
It was only ways further.
He walked it, holding the reigns of the horse to guide it. He stopped him right in front of the big settlement that had been created by people, leaving right outside their burnt houses.
He asked again.
"Hmm…Rintaro, is that the name of the doctor woman?" a man asked, hand on chin.
"What is?"
"Tokio."
"Oh," Rintaro snapped his fingers "you mean that young pretty thing who came to tend to the wounded! Yes, that was her name. She's not here now, she left. What do you want with her?"
"This man is looking for her and her dog." He showed Saitou with his thumb.
"Oh, I see; well, last I know, she was running towards a burning house two blocks from here. Took her case and everything with her."
He nodded. "Thank you for the information." Inwardly, he rolled his eyes. One more stop to make. This felt like a never-ending game of tag! No matter, she had a lot of explaining to do once he finally pinned her down. And she had better include every excruciating detail.
.
"Ah, Tokio-san…I saw her heading towards the yard of…that house."
It was a little way further, both had to crane their necks to see it. "Two girls were crying something terrible and she couldn't help it. Then of course, some man sprouted from the rubble with a knife and threatened them," Saitou's eyes expressed all of his shock and incredulity at that statement "but she…knocked him out. She was too quick to react, dunno what was up with that. All I know is she took care of it, so I stopped paying attention."
"I see; thank you sir."
"Hope you find her, boy."
Boy? He could have laughed, had this situation not been like this. He hadn't been called that since he was twelve! Resisting the urge to shake his head, he grabbed the reigns of the horse again and led it where the man indicated. As he approached, he saw more people; the thing was further than it seemed, huh. Maybe she was still there…!
Yet, no luck again.
He sighed heavily. What was up with today? One thing after the other…
"I'd like to ask you if you've seen a woman this tall," he drew the attention of the people huddled together, hand reaching his chest instinctively "with black hair and a purple kimono, named Tokio."
"Yes, we saw her. She was right here, not too long ago…you must have barely missed her."
Yes! He was getting close.
"You're better off checking in there," a woman gestured towards that same, as she spoke in a whisper. "She took the girls to keep safe in there. I didn't see where she went after that, but those girls came out just fine."
"Where are those girls now?"
"Their father came and took them away. Just look in there, because…" She hesitated; he felt his heart beat quicken. "There was a man on the ground, looked like he was sleeping." Was she talking about the guy with the knife? "He didn't look all that up-standing, too…thing is, suddenly he stood and went inside! It was after the girls left but your Tokio hadn't come out yet." His throat went dry. "And I have yet to see anyone exiting this way."
Oh no.
"Though, if I'm being honest, I haven't been here the entire time…so I could have missed something. Hopefully."
"Thank you for the information, I'll do just that."
His tone was rushed and his voice clipped; he had no time to spare for formalities—he didn't even bow as he'd usually have. All he thought about was the knife; the knife; the knife…even if Tokio had the pin with her, if she didn't have the element of surprise, she could do little with it, she wasn't trained. But, by all accounts, this man must have been a vagrant at least, definitely someone used on the ugly side of things. Just the thought of the possibilities was enough to make his stomach turn.
The building was way worse than it looked from outside; scent of burnt assaulted his senses and made his eyes sting. For a fire that raged at least four days ago…what an after-effect. He had to cover half his face just to stand in there. What agitated him the most was the implication. It was deserted; not a single sound could be heard. But it still felt like it had been recently disturbed, wood shaken and crumbled, the dust hadn't even settled fully, yet. In fact, it was just that which prompted him to fully realise something must have been moved in order for the stench to be so strong.
But no matter how carefully and thoroughly he looked, there was nothing to be found, no sign of her. Or a man, but that was a relatively good thing.
Then he saw it: right in the middle of what must have been the bedroom of whoever lived here, the ceiling had collapsed. Underneath the rubble, he could barely make out something resembling a colour other than black or brown: it was purple. He took a step for a closer inspection. He was wrong. He had been too quick to reassure himself and now it hurt all the more. For that purple was definitely a piece from Tokio's kimono, there was no mistaking it. He had seen her wear it countless times, he could recognise it even if it was the part without the patterns.
But it wasn't; the wisteria flowers, leading up to branches, were right there for him to see. Right under the fallen beam. With what appeared to be blood stains on some extensive part of it.
He did his best and managed not to throw up.
He approached even more, hearing what's left of the floor creaking distantly. That visceral reaction only intensified as he found, with dread, the piece of cloth was actually attached to the rest of the garment: the entire outer layer of the kimono lay there torn, dirtied by blood and ashes.
A cold shiver ran down his spine; his feet nearly buckled. For a fraction of a second he felt like he lost touch with his surroundings because he was in that house searching, everything went black, and like that never actually happened, he was looking at that same patch of burnt floor. It was almost as hypnotizing, as it was horrific; he kept staring at nothing, eyes glazed, breathing only when necessary.
What…what did this mean?
Before he gave in completely though, he started rationalising. Her kimono was there, ripped apart and soiled, lying underneath a hard piece of wood; sufficient blood was spilled top indicate she was somehow harmed, maybe mortally, maybe not…but no sign of a body. Hopefully of a living person, no matter how slim that chance looked now. If he had any inspirations of doing as he promised in fact, he should completely disregard that sinking feeling in his chest that he wasn't going to see her ever again – and not out of choice – and focus on finding her alive; please be alive. Please.
Swallowing, albeit with extreme difficulty, he knelt and studied the floor around the kimono. He took a moment; he took another. He stared. Was this…what he thought it was? Or was his mind playing tricks on him because of how much he wanted her to be alive. If she was nowhere to be found, then either someone moved her or – please let that be the case – she stood up and left herself. And so far, no drag marks where to be found! There were tracks of people standing, maybe fighting, but none dragged anyone.
He felt he took a proper breath after a long time and allowed his chest to expand. Could this mean she was still up and about? There was no pin anywhere inside this house, too. She'd never leave without it, thus it's safe to say she must have been conscious…
You're going on fumes, his mind poisoned the moment. If there are signs of a struggle then maybe she fought and lost, he couldn't track anything else inside this mess anyway, who was to say she wasn't picked up—NO. No. He refused that line of thought from the bottom of his heart.
He stopped thinking altogether and exited the building. He had to find her…or her body. He promised to return her to her father and Matsudaira-sama. He had given his word. No matter how painful it could be, he couldn't go back on his word. Even if all he could do to keep going was ignore all of the symptoms he was experiencing that almost amounted to a stroke.
Almost.
He trudged all the way uphill to his horse; even more sluggish, he mounted again. The weight to his shoulders was more than he could bear but if the animal could hold him, he had the obligation to keep going. So, on he went.
But where?
He looked left; he looked right; there was a large encampment of people almost a kilometre away. He should head over there and ask. No matter what happened after the collapsing incident that she had definitely been there to witness – and fall victim to one way or the other – if that man was also caught in it, he'd certainly seek help and refuge somewhere they didn't know her face or name yet. Thus, he'd leave the one he was already at and head for a new one…that one.
He gave the command, forcing his stallion into a run, uncaring if he was getting in someone's way—uncaring of most things, honestly. He simply wanted this day to be over, as quickly as possible. Before sundown.
As soon as he reached the elaborate encampment, he headed straight for the biggest tent, knowing that was undoubtedly where they kept their injured, wounded or dying. Plenty of people were coming and going carrying all sorts of things that could be considered medical supplies, so he knew this was the right choice.
Approaching the tent without ever dismounting, people looked at him in fear, suspicion or awe, for he still donned the Shinsengumi clothes and colours; hell, he was still wearing armour, even. He did look out of place, but had no time to spend on useless formalities or rituals. He jumped off his horse, abandoning the effort to tie him somewhere – he was too intimidating for anyone to try and steal it – and waded through the small crowd that was created around him, protests swarming his ears! He paid no heed; he was focused on one thing and one thing alone and that wasn't the people's complains. They were probably legitimate and definitely deserved, but he simply didn't care: all he wanted to so was find the one in charge and ask him.
Ask him if a young woman with black hair and a purple pin came through or was carried here, alive or dead.
He caused such a commotion, he noticed – but cared none for – most able men come barrelling towards him, to deter or stop him. Feeling like a wolf stung by endless mosquitos, he actually made the motion to swat them away, earning a collective, breathless "ah!" from everyone.
"Excuse me sir," he heard from somewhere behind him then and for some reason he felt his heart stop "you are disturbing the patients. Please follow me outside."
Annoyed as ever, he wiped his head back to catch a glimpse of the person daring to tell him off, but he only saw a person he didn't know, pointing to the back of a retreating woman. She was half-way out by the time he started doing as she asked, huffing and blowing air out of his nose. He only humoured her because she was probably the one in charge and would certainly know if Tokio came by or not.
He blinked and he was outside, right behind the large tent, still following the woman. There were no people there, strangely enough, it was almost secluded. Ah shit; this could easily have been the point of access for that scumbag to—
"Hajime!"
The moment he stopped walking, he first felt and then heard it, despite the one coming after the other. He was so concentrated on his thoughts, he missed it: the woman who led him out back exclaimed his name exuberant while two hands came and circled his middle almost the same second! A familiar weight hit his chest as the even more familiar voice spoke, even lighter, "it's so good to see you again!"
Oh. That's why his heart stopped before. He had recognised the voice instinctively but had been too wrapped up in his winding speculations to notice. But his body did before his mind and it reacted involuntarily and now he was staring and shaking while completely immobilised at the same time.
That scent that belonged to her and her alone wafted in his nose. He looked down slowly, scared this was too good to be true, fearing it would disappear if he rushed it, and found none other than Tokio squeezing him tight. She was smiling, eyebrows drawn together, his presence an obvious relief to her. "I can't believe you're here…"
She couldn't believe he was there? She? She!? Something inside him clanged the wrong way; he stewed. She had her fill then apparently and let go, gave him one good once-over. "And you look well, too; amazing." Her jest only incensed him further. "I was almost certain you'd come back missing a limb," she giggled and that did something very weird to his psyche "or at least a tooth or-…Hajime?"
"Are you insane!?"
She looked lost; he was furious. This was the first time she ever heard him raise his voice, too so she was even more confused. "You, you…are here, in this place; what the hell are you here for!? Why haven't you been at home for two days? Why are you making everyone worry? And what's up with the humble get-up" referring to her too plain, white pink kimono "what are you trying to pull? And where's the dog?"
"…Hajime, what are you talking about? I'm here to help, obviously…but why would you say I'm making everyone worry? They know where I am."
"No, they don't," he was emphatic in his dismissal "for I was sent by Matsudaira himself to come looking and bring him back either you or your damn dead body!"
She was too shocked for words, gaping at him. slowly, but steadily, she seemed to be putting things together and managed out a trite "Wh…at?"
But he was no simpleton, simply upset. So, he took a deep breath, calming his raging emotions, and answered as collected as he could "everyone believes you're missing. You don't; what's the fall out?"
"But I told her…I explicitly asked her to wait for the sun to rise and then tell Matsudaira-sama I had disobeyed him and came here to help. She said she'd try to convince either him or his wives to allow me to stay…and if no one came to take me back then I was in the clear."
Finally, it makes a semblance of sense! A huge sigh was released from his lips, starting from his chest, expelling all the bad feelings and the tension with it. "Who was she?" This was an inside job after all, only a little different than what anyone had suspected, an accidental one.
"Her name is Motoko, she's been in the lord's employment long before I arrived…well-trusted, too."
She seemed to find her bearings, too, sighing but ultimately smiling. "Hachiro is inside, barking at those who try to stir up trouble." She chuckled. "He's been well-liked around here, more so than me."
"You complete and utter idiot."
"Now, now…we established this was both a misunderstanding and a sabotage, don't be sour with me," she said all in good humour, but he immediately fired up!
"But I still had to come looking for you, thinking you were either kidnapped or accidentally killed! Three different people told me you were dead and a woman even implied you were attacked! I walked into a nearly destroyed house to find your damn kimono trapped under a damn beam and I really thought…!"
He stopped shouting angrily at her face in favour of hiding his in his hand. "I thought…" He shook his head, only then realising the rest of his was shaking, too. "I really thought you…"
He couldn't say it; he didn't want to. She was standing right in front of him alive and well, he didn't want to jinx it. He only kept shaking his head, finding some comfort in the motion. "I was worried," he decided to say in the end, coming to a full stop.
He felt her wrap her hands around him again. "I was worried, too," she said, far too excited for anyone to speak those words "I always am. But you came back…!"
"Yes, I came back from war, to find you missing and have people tell me you're dead. Thanks."
She giggled, still holding on to him. "It wasn't on purpose." He growled. "But you might as well hug me back before someone comes looking for me, since, you know, I'm right here and all…"
"You are an entitled menace."
Despite his jab, he couldn't resist any longer. His fingers tingled painfully for every second he wasn't touching her. Being around her felt like an actual need at this point, much like hunger and thirst, so he treated it the same way. And he sought relief. His own long hands came around her, smothering her by squeezing a little too hard. He had all but abandoned the effort of standing on his own and used her as a stool, dumping all his worries and weight on top of her head. He could feel her lean back to try and support him, but he felt unforgiving in that moment and did nothing to accommodate her.
Maybe that would teach her to things through next time and try not give him a damn heart attack. He lost forty years of his life in four hours!
"I missed you," she admitted after a long time of being squished and heated.
"Serves you right," he murmured a default answer, for he wasn't really paying attention to what she was saying. All he cared about was how familiar she smelt, how perfect she fit in his arms, how…nostalgic it all was, despite not knowing each other for more than two years. How she was alive and well and in his arms and suddenly all the times he thought her dead felt too distant.
They stood there with arms tangled for a long time.
"Yes Hachiro, you're a good boy," she wearily assured when she heard the dog's bark coming closer and closer, hoping her words would deter him from ruining the moment, but they didn't. The dog came bounding in, jumping on both of them from the side, struggling to find a face to lick or ascertain their health.
Saitou actually smiled. "You and me both," he directed the line at the animal that now began to sniff him like there was no tomorrow, still supporting its heavy body half on him and half on Tokio. Saitou could see its protectiveness towards its mistress, yet for some reason he hadn't attacked him yet, as he would have, were it anyone else.
Hachiro seemed to be guarded, but not too much. and then, the most amazing thing happened: he gave his face a lick.
Tokio's surprise was not concealed. "He likes you! He actually likes you. You're the first man he has ever had a positive response to, oh dear."
"I like him, too but let's not get too comfortable."
As if the dog understood exactly what he'd said, he licked him twice but no more; then its tail wagged outrageously and he looked like he was expecting something. What was that?
"Pet him and he'll jump off," Tokio spoke through giggles.
His incredulous stare didn't dishearten the dog, who kept supporting his entire weight on them. Saitou sighed. "You're a good dog," he relented and let go, while at the same time petting the actually huge by now canine. He hadn't had his fill hugging her yet, but he knew when he was beaten. And Hachiro did just that, forcing the strange man let go of his mistress and earn a pet on the head.
The moment that was over, the dog barked happily and jumped off of them with the same ease. Instead of retreating to his mistress side though, he sat right between them, looking on as happy as he could be. Tokio, who hadn't had the will to remove herself from his person, resting her forehead on his chest, sighed heavily. "Yes Hachiro, we will be going back now."
"That we will be doing, indeed; back to the compound."
"Wh, Hajime! I have people I need to help, and—"
"—your father will be here in two days tops. Matsudaira-sama was additionally worried because of your father's arrival in fact." She made to speak but he thundered her. "If you dare ask why he would visit with all that's happened, I swear I'll grab you by the waist and put you on my shoulder again."
"No," she drawled comically "I hate that."
"Then, we're leaving. Now."
"But I promised Sato-san to help him find his daughter."
"And who in earth is that?"
She blushed. "He's a man I rendered unconscious some hours ago; he came to me for help because he heard I was a doctor and I thought he wanted to attack me. in my defence, he was holding a knife, so I assumed easier."
"Oh! Sato is the guy that woman thought attacked you."
"Ah, I wasn't the only one to assume then." He shook his head reassuringly. "Well, once he came to, he approached me. I was in a badly burnt house, looking for survivors. He came in after me, holding his hands up," a chuckle escaped her "requesting for my help. He explained the situation and after I took a look at him, we headed here…well, the house started falling apart, and I had to give up one of my favourite kimono, but the man was very helpful and respectful, found me something to wear immediately."
So that explained pretty much everything…except the blood. She barely had scratches and some burn marks. Then again, she was handling patients of all types, someone could have bled on her.
"I see…and I'm guessing you have to help him because you feel guilty?" She nodded repeatedly. "Fine," he gave in easily, "let's go find his daughter. What does she look like?"
"Oh, she's very easy to spot; she looks like a foreigner, blond hair and blue eyes, my age approximately." He stared; she gave him a look. "What?"
The last thing she expected was him to start laughing. "I ran into her three hours ago! She," he took a moment to settle "she's in good health, looking for her father, too."
"How fortunate! I feel better already."
"Yeah, come on. Let's go reunite them and then we leave." A meaningful glance was sent her way. "Immediately."
"Yes, alright, as you wish."
Saitou decided to be magnanimous and escort the man all the way to where the daughter was, not just give him directions. At first, he was quite sure it would take about two hours to get there…but he was wrong. It was mere twenty-minute walk. The only reason it felt that much longer was, simply, because he had been looking for Tokio and was going in circles. Actual circles. He wanted to push her off the horse out of spite.
But he didn't. instead, he kept holding her up, while holding on to the reigns, guiding the man and the horse to their destination. Hachiro trotted next to them, at his own pace. In fact, in front of them; for some reason, he fancied himself the protector of the party and was one step ahead of the horse at all times. Tokio found it adorable; Saitou thought it was an indirect insult, but realising this was an animal and not a person, he made no motion to stop it.
Once the family was brought together at last by chance, mishap and all the world's misunderstandings, the young woman thanked Saitou, thinking he did all he could to find him after she told him about it. He naturally denied it, but the woman's impression remained…eliciting a rather warm reaction from said woman, indeed no older than Tokio. Who, of course, had first row seat, propped up on the horse as she was, feeling like a thing rather than a person.
Despite all the glares she sent to Edda – named after her mother's mother, what an exotic sounding name – and the fact Edda herself would joke about how he found his prize and so on, Edda kept flirting with him right in front of her…and her own father no less! How shameless.
When they finally extricated themselves from their pleasantries, Tokio was glaring at nothing and everything. Easily sensing the root of her dismay, Saitou smirked. Instantly he knew he was going to tease her.
"It was a good idea to push me to bring him here. Felt rewarding to see them together again."
"Quite," she bit out.
"Not as rewarding as being thanked for delivering him." He had to savour her expression, so he paused for a second. "Or being thanked at all, for that matter."
Her "Hajime…" held warning.
"Humility and gratitude can get you a long way." He dared glance at her puffed up cheeks…and that was it; he broke. His I-may-be-joking-but-I-maybe-not voice was stripped away, an afternote of fondness left behind. "So, will you let me get up there behind you or should I not even try?"
She fought not to smile too much; she was too happy to see him again, so well, so unhurt, she wouldn't have really minded had Teruhime herself been flirting with him. "…I will allow it."
He offered her his hand to get off and then on again, but in the proper way. After she was settled, he jumped up behind her – earning a whine from the dog – and made himself comfortable. Hachiro whined some more but when he came to terms with him not being able to be up there with them, he started walking…next to them this once.
Saitou felt accomplished. And when she leaned on his chest, eyes shut, all the more so.
"Hajime…?"
"Hm?"
"I am happy to see you again." He hummed in response but it carried on for a while…so that meant "me, too". "I am sorry I caused you to worry." Short grunt; appreciation or agreement. "Welcome back."
"…it's good to be back."
He had a hundred things to think and talk about with Matsudaira. Who really was this Motoko? Did she act out of personal spite and/or gain, or was she a Chousuu supporter? Why had it been so easy for Tokio to sneak out? What if there was something planned for Tokio later, like an actual kidnapping, and the gain was monetary? They should be incredibly worried about such a leak for it could potentially endanger every single plan made inside this house. He should increase the number of guards, too, make them stricter when it comes to who is allowed to roam around at night. Enforce said rules. Keep a tight schedule. There were some other issues that had come to mind, too, but he seemed to forget. Slowly, all thoughts faded away in fact and only one remained: Tokio was napping in his arms, on his chest, this very moment.
She was well; she was safe. He could rest easy now.
A/N: A taste of your own medicine sure is bitter...! But he didn't deserve this much heartache, truth be told. Oh well. Distance makes the heart grow fonder and the thought someone you loved died, really put things in perspective. Poor Matsudaira, though. Are you wondering who Motoko may be, too? I hope you are. xD
Hope you had fun mah lovelies; as always, leave a review on your way out and tell me what you thought. Kisses,
FAI~~