I wake up to the beeping of machines and pain. My mind feels fuzzy and I feel like I'm floating. I'm awake, but I'm afraid to open my eyes. When I do, I'm staring into a bright white light. My eyes adjust and I'm staring up at a white ceiling. I groan, wanting to sit up, but the pain in my chest stops me. I take note of my injuries, wondering why I hurt. My chest hurts and burns in some places, but the pain is bearable. My fingers are numb, but I can feel the bandages on them, hindering their movement. There is a headache throbbing behing my temples, and making my ears ring. My right leg is void of any feeling, making me wonder if anything has happened to it.
I take a moment to wonder why I'm in the hospital. I was driving home... right? No! James was driving home, because I was tired from work. Yeah... that sounded right. I think. This goddamn headach is making it hard to think. James was driving me home, I'm sure. With that in my mind as a solid fact I think back to why I was tired.
I had to go to work early, that I was certain of. I had woken up at about 5:30, doing my normal morning routine. I started brewing my coffee, then went to the bathroom to shower quickly. I brushed my hair and retrived my coffee. I grabbed my phone and went to work. The work day is a little fuzzy. All I remember is having to move a lot. That explains why I was so tired and had asked my lovely hubby to pick me up. But why was I in the hospital?
"Ah Miss Avery Flun you're awake," A doctor says. I was so deep in my thoughts that I never heard him come in.
"It's Flaun," I say dryly. "Fla-un," Stupid people messing up my last name.
The doctor waves me off. Dude, not helping my irratation.
"How are you feeling?" He asks.
"Like shit," I'm not lying.
He tsks. "I'm not surprised, being in a crash like that will take it's toll,"
Wait I crashed? James crashed! Impossible, he's the best driver I know. I don't want to make the strange man in my room panic so I need to tread carefully.
"What crash?" All I remember is being in the car, and waking up here. Like hell I would forget being in a crash.
"Ah, you probably don't remember. You had a concussion, so I don't expect you to remember," The doctor looked at the sheet of paper in his hands. "It says here that you were driving home with your husband. A bus slammed into your car and you were the only survivor,"
My mind draws a blank. I'm the only survivor. The fact is impossible. He can't. He's not. I can hear the machines beeping faster, but I don't care. I see blurry figures standing over me. Something's shaking me.
The doctor's words rattle through my brain as I feel a strange calm wash over me.
You were the only survivor. My fuzzy vision acquires black fuzzy blotches. My nerves shut down.
You were the only survivor. I'm loosing feeling in my limbs. My mind and vision are both fading.
You were the only survivor.
The doctor's words echo in my head before I draw the conclusion.
James is dead.
Numb.
I feel nothing.
He's gone.
It's your fault.
No it's the bus driver's fault.
The bus driver is dead.
James is dead.
I should've died with him.
I should die.
Numb.
Nothing.
Pain.
What's the point.
I have nothing left.
I should give up.
I have nothing to give up.
James is dead.
I'm alive.
Pain.
Darkness.
Longing.
Pain.
Loneliness.
Why didn't I die?
I should die with him.
I need him.
Darkness.
My fault.
His fault.
I should die and join him.
I need him.
He completed me.
I'm missing a piece of me.
He's gone.
He's gone.
He's gone.
I should join him.
Should I kill myself?
What use am I?
I'm nothing to no one.
No one cares about me.
In due time. Just be patient.
A/N So whadda think? I'm not the best speller so I apologize for any errors that may have slipped past me. This plot bunny
has not left me alone, and was begging me to use it. You other writers know what I mean.
Favorite and review, it might make Avery not kill herself.
Avery* But I want to die. There's no point in living anymore.
DragonFan773* You will only die if I make you.
Avery* James is dead! I have nothing left to live for!
DragonFan773* We shall see...