A/N: This is not a drill. I repeat, this is not a drill. Finally, your good-fon-nothing writer managed to piece together her new update. xD
Hello~ How are you my lovely people? Long time no see~~ I am entirely to blame for that, obviously, but ugh, so many things have happened in real life. I moved - yay - finally, and it's all done. No more cleaning and boxes and people stepping all over my floors with their dirty shoes (I don't know the customs in many countries, but here in Greece it's pretty much a given you take off your shoes when entering a home, leave them by the door, unless you are a guest in which case you have the right to keep wearing them inside)...! Now it's just me and my bf, who, surprisingly does what I tell him when it comes to such matters. He's so sweet. Well, less for him to do later, too I guess, but he's really cool with many things.
Also work has been a hellish landscape and UGH. But in a good way, there are too many new things so yeah, baby - but certain - steps.
On top of that I have been reading the standardised tests' book for my driving license. Once I pass the written exams, it's on to the practical course, UGH. That part scares me, but let's hope I do well.
Anyway, enough of that! On with the new chapter. I left you in a very interesting place. I only hope this one makes up for the wait-I know many of you will appreciate some things. Sooooo, let's go! By the way, this poor chapter hasn't been edited at all, any mistakes of grammatical nature and the like you may find are completely expected but unavoidable. Sorry. I just don't have the time to do that, too.
Historical facts: None, really. It's the next one you'll have to look out for.
Timeline: September 16th - October 3rd.
A fine lady...
...and resolutions.
There was a lull of silence in Tokio's life for the next three days. First two of those, Hajime was off duty, just as the doctor prescribed; following their confrontation inside the carriage, Ayame steered clear of her hostess on purpose, too so Tokio was left alone to her studies and her dog. But it didn't feel like Ayame was avoiding her, no; it felt as though she was planning something, a scheme to get her in the game again. Alarmed, but helpless, she decided to concentrate on what she could and should do until Ayame left.
Then the third day, Hajime came back to duty; seeing Ayame had honoured the doctor's wishes, too, although they didn't extend to her and never visited him while at HQ, Tokio decided this was the best moment to let her have her one day with him: that one day Ayame would get to spend with Hajime without Tokio's insistent presence. Let her have her fun, talk to him as she liked. Probably confess to him, too.
Tokio sighed. She still felt sick to her stomach, but she couldn't help but want what's best for him. And sadly, it wasn't her, but a patient, ever-lasting childhood friend who came all the way to Kyoto from Edo just for him.
"Let's go for a walk, Hachiro!"
Fourth day came, and Tokio was still unwilling to face either one of them. What better way to avoid someone other than making up more chores for yourself to keep occupied? She had to study in the early morning, thus wouldn't be having breakfast with the rest; she had to walk Hachiro so she wouldn't be home when Hajime arrived; she'd have to talk to her sensei then, thus had no time to ask the one thing she wanted to know: what did they talk about? At the same time, though, allowing her to be alone with him a second time was a little too much…
"It will be a short one, though, alright?"
The dog barked happily anyway.
When they returned, they found Saitou and Ayame waiting by the front entrance, dressed for a walk already, talking casually between themselves. Before she could so much as salute either of them, the dog left her side and bounded! Mortified, she shouted for him to stop moving, but the beast all but ignored her. Decisively, he leapt for the only man of the apparent group…and pushed him. With the momentum created as well as the surprise of all parties involved, it took less than a second for Saitou to be tackled to the ground, a happy Hachiro licking his face away.
"Hachiro, what are you doing!? Stop at once. Come here."
Tokio was at the same time pissed her dog wouldn't listen to her yet excited he seemed to harbour such intense good feelings for the man. Knowing she had to be serious though, she managed not to smile at the precious image and kept giving her commands. Even if, once more, Ayame was boycotting her by laughing heartily next to them.
"Stop, Hachiro. That's enough. Come here. I said, come here."
Perplexed, the dog did cease with the overwhelming licking and sat, but he kept turning its head left and right, trying to understand what he did wrong. That gave the chance for the man to pick himself up, as best as he could. "We do not attack people like that! Even if it's for a good purpose, we don't jump on people."
The dog tilted its head again, whining. She exhaled. "We scare people if we do that."
"Hachiro," Saitou said then, voice absolute "don't do that again." The dog barked. "Give me your paw." He did; Saitou shook it and then let it go. "Now lie down." He did. "Now, don't do that again." He didn't bark this once, only looked down. "Say you're sorry."
To everyone's surprise, the dog used his front paws to rub his snout and hide his entire head, looking up sad. "Good boy." A clap, and he was back on his feet.
Tokio looked at him annoyed. "What are you doing to my dog? Have you been teaching him things?"
He nodded affirmatively. "I most definitely have. What was I supposed to do while waiting for both of you to get ready every damn day?" She actually smacked his chest. "Don't be violent because you're jealous, hime-sama; be ready on time next time."
"At least that explains why he was so excited," she murmured annoyed "he hadn't seen you for five days."
"He's a good boy," he concurred and when the dog came to rub himself on his feet, he gave him a scratch behind the ears.
"Aww, he's so cute! He never did that with me," Ayame gushed and moved to pet him.
Tokio didn't know if the animal reflected her latent feelings, but she had to laugh at the way Hachiro just up and left Saitou's right to favour his left side, effectively out of the woman's reach. Ayame pouted; Saitou tried not to smile.
"Well, we can always take him with us, warm up to you a little, what do you think?" Tokio finally decided to be the big hearted one "not to mention, with Hajime also able to command him, he'll be safer for the streets of common Kyoto."
"I see no reason not to," the man agreed "better two guards than one."
Tokio enjoyed her walk that day; Hachiro was the best support she could have asked. Whenever she was taken with something so much she left the other two's side, the dog would walk directly between them, leaving no room for Ayame to cling to his arm or whisper in his ear. When Ayame would be interested in a trinket, Hachiro would step behind her, isolating her from the other two.
It was so entertaining, it was obvious her spirits lifted significantly! Wallowing in self-pity these past days did her no good but this, it was refreshing. She couldn't stop smiling…finally, she felt a little bit like her old self.
"I can't believe we secured the gifts after all! I was convinced we'd just offer Yami money instead," Ayame joked, referring to how they could never decide on what to buy the man for his upcoming wedding.
"We finally agreed on something, hence the purchase was complete. And how could we not, this set is amazing: vase, tea and sake set; a must-have for any new home."
"You could have chosen something lighter though," Saitou complained, being the one who carried everything, naturally. "Should anything happen, how will I act?"
"We have Hachiro with us now," Ayame dismissed him easily, petting the huge dog's head. The dog allowed it.
"Besides, lighter would mean lesser quality. I cannot buy anything like that, Matsudaira-sama and father would kill me." She giggled. "And I never expected you to complain, how odd."
Ayame took a deep breath. "You should have seen him when he was younger!" She grabbed Tokio's hand as if they were long time best friends. "Once he had complained for the entire trip from Chiba to Edo about how he was made to walk the most out of everyone, because the horses were scarce and the ladies plenty."
Tokio burst out laughing; he started getting annoyed. "Don't share such embarrassing stories, or I might accidentally drop anything."
"Ooooh, he threatens," Ayame teased.
"How out of character," Tokio goaded.
"I might drop the whole lot, I warn you." They giggled. "I don't like you two agreeing, you know that? Makes my skin crawl."
Both shook their head. "Men," Ayame lamented.
"Men," Tokio corroborated.
"Women," Hajime whispered, hoping they wouldn't hear him and make his life even more difficult…but no such luck. Damn it.
And if that was annoying as an isolated event, it would become insufferable once the women started making this type of behaviour the norm. Each and every single time they met, they acted like they were the best of friends, or at least found a kindred soul and shared all sorts of stories and anecdotes, about him no less. Yes, he would notice the occasional awkwardness when a particular topic would be breached or some sort of bad-manners-incident took place unwittingly, but other than that, when together, the two acted way too familiar.
And then, when he was alone with one of them, one would treat him too warm and the other almost cold. Ayame was apparently too excited for attending the upcoming wedding with him, never failing to remind him how close they were as children, while Tokio would maintain both distance and silence. She rarely spoke to him, other than convey some sort of news or sentiment from Matsudaira's side. His eye had started twitching even before he got to see them lately and it had only gotten worse, as the days went by. Sometimes he would meditate before leaving HQ just to brace himself. It helped a lot.
Of course, considering everything Okita and – surprisingly – Nagakura told him about, he knew why the two women were acting that way. That didn't mean he had to like or suffer it. So, one particularly difficult day, he came up with the perfect plan on how to deal with this entire mess created for him, because of him, but certainly not by him.
Thus, a very dull, run-of-the-mill day the three of them went out for the kimono fitting, "You were right, Tokio…"
Oh God, not again, she lamented mentally as her entire body broke out into shivers. "About what, this once?"
"Testy, are we?" His smirk was ready on his lips and she really felt like wiping it off with a slap. Or simply smothering him would be nice, smug little bastard. "She confessed to me."
Tokio stared; Hajime looked at her evenly. Then she opened her mouth to say something, but words wouldn't come out—instead, she pointed towards the inner sanctum of the shop, where an undoubtedly naked Ayame was fitted into fabrics, pins and needles everywhere around her. She inclined her head as if asking.
"Yes, Tokio, Ayame; who else?"
"Ah-and-wh-…" She stopped herself from babbling any further and shook her head, obviously shaken. But the bastard was still acting mildly amused! "And what did you say?"
"To her confession?" She moved her head up and down curtly, eyes bulging, as if he was an idiot for even needing the specification. "Nothing." Her chin fell. "What is that look for?"
"Nothing; as in, not a yes or a no? No reply?"
He shrugged. "I told her it was sudden; and I didn't know what to think about it."
Tokio deflated, exasperated. "Basically, you told her you need time to process it." He agreed with a slight frown and he could see how she slowly build up, chest rising, breath drawn deeply as she was about to blow. "Saitou Hajime!" If she wasn't in the shop, she'd have smacked his arm, he was sure. "You can't just say that and expect everything to sort themselves out! that was very unmanly of you, too; you need to give her a proper answer and do it soon—before the wedding business is over. Or even during it, I don't know…but you have to say something."
"And what would you have me say?"
She visibly faltered. "I…don't know. I can't answer that for you."
He sighed. Fun as this was, teasing her relentlessly, he had to see it for himself, how far gone her case was. "What do you want me to do?"
Her eyes quickly snapped up to his, caught off guard and a little pleading. Don't make me say it, they begged him, but he remained unaffected. If anything, his scrutiny intensified, urging her to answer. She had to look away and very low to give her answer. "I want you to be happy," she murmured.
"That's a little vague."
"I want you to be successful in your life and live happily; I want you to grow; I want you to fulfil all your goals and make yourself and your family back in Edo proud;" a shaky breath "I think you should marry Ayame."
A beat of silence. And then "pardon" was spoken from the confused, incredulous man in front of her.
"I believe you two will make a fine couple; she loves you, Hajime. And you…at least care for her at some degree. The transition will be much easier." She felt her eyes sting with upcoming tears but she knew she shouldn't shed a single one. "I think you two should be together."
He gaped. "Is that what you want?"
She didn't speak; he stared harder. Shit, her eyes watered. She actually turned her back on him, as if inspecting some fabric for herself…and slowly, but certainly, nodded "yes" to his question. "Really now?"
She nodded and it was final.
Instantly, he felt his temper rise to dangerous levels; his eye twitched involuntarily and he almost grabbed her shoulders! Almost. To think those idiots had it right…unbelievable. And yet, there they were. He stopped looking at her altogether and focused all of his attention on looking as less thunderstruck as he could and maybe, just to spite her, he'd make sure he concentrated solely on the second woman of the company who was still adjusting her kimono to her body.
At least, since his friends were right, this makes his entire plan all the more real and, as of this moment, in effect. He mentally clicked his tongue; he'd teach her to act like this—no one asked her to take the mantle of the self-sacrificing idiot.
Enough, he commanded himself. There was no use thinking about this further now, that all fell into place. With another deep sigh, he looked straight forward, anticipating Ayame's exit from the changing room…and the eventual wedding, so this all would be over with.
Which wedding didn't take all that long after all. The bride's family complied with the groom's family earlier than anticipated hence the visit to the temple for the necessary arrangements came earlier, too. In the end, after half a week, the wedding was finalised and the invitations were handed out. the event became the most talked of one in the capital again and they were all counting down to the day the union would be formally blessed.
Saitou had forgotten one mildly infuriating fact though: Tokio had talked Hijikata into going with her. And when he himself was ready, feeling pleased with himself and the colours he chose – royal blue with a splash of yellow – there came Hijikata with his red, beige and green combination, looking like a lord. Damn, it was almost unfair to walk next to him.
But screw all that; he was confident. And if he wanted to be less jealous and more concentrated on making his plan to work, he needed to disregard everything and anything other than Ayame. He had to make sure he was the perfect date to her. After all, not only did she deserve it, she'd also earned it.
After Tokio so shamelessly pushed him onto her, he decided she was no longer needed for their walks, unless hime-sama specifically asked for it. of course, out of guilt and shame, she hadn't. And for the remainder of Ayame's stay before the wedding, they spent it all on their own. She was a great interlocutor and, who'd have thought, a great sport—fair and just.
And if she wanted him all to herself…she'd have him.
"Saitou," Hijikata spoke once they arrived at the Matsudaira compound "I would like you to remain not only calm, but also a good distance away from Tokio and I while we'll be at the wedding."
"We were allotted certain places to stand," he retorted exasperated "I know exactly where and how far away from you I am supposed to be."
"Just checking."
The bastard was enjoying this; Saitou could see it in the half-smile forming on his face. if he could, he would have growled. What was up with everyone? Were they all trying to piss him off?
Thankfully, the time from the moment the servants received them, Matsudaira showed up with his wives to greet them and the two women showed up breezed by; the hard part was from the moment they showed up and after. He might have promised himself he wouldn't be concerned with her highness but shit, she looked so her, it was too distracting. Ayame was beautiful and flashy, all colour and attitude; her face painted with the nicest tones and care…
But Tokio was wearing – for the third time – the gift given to her by Matsudaira-sama, that first time he learnt her name. The white and blue hues were not matching her partner's, but neither seemed to care or mind.
If he was being entirely honest, the pair looked objectively beautiful. When Hijikata offered his arm and she took it so casually, it almost seemed like the world revolved solely around them, despite the compliments both women received from all present.
She was radiating a detached grace, an odd sense of uninvolved kindness—it blessed you even if she only happened to look at you. On the other hand, Hijikata was the epitome of dignity and pride – and who wouldn't be proud to have such a woman on his arm – standing straight and formal next to her.
They looked so disparate, yet so complementary to one another, even Matsudaira commented on it to one of his wives.
"Almost feels like they are so differently dressed on purpose, as if daring people to make a note of it, just so they can look all the more impressive on how well they go together after all."
"What a power couple, indeed," Toshihime offhandedly quipped, yet spared a look for Hajime, who was too wrapped up in trying to ignore Tokio and how she looked way too familiar with his vice commander. He wasn't too absorbed not to notice the woman though, and he appeared troubled.
No matter, the ride to the temple was nerve-wracking. He did the best he could to engage in the conversation in front of him, but he couldn't focus on anything else, other than how Hijikata's legs and shoulders kept touching Tokio's whenever they hit a bump in the road or took an unsavoury turn. Even if Ayame was practically latched onto him, even if she was one of the most active participants of said conversation, he barely heard any of it. He only looked out the window, catching the formerly mentioned accidental brushes with the edge of his eyes, or tried to look interested in what Ayame kept saying.
Thankfully, it was over soon; but it did something weird to him to watch Hijikata get out first and offer his hand to Tokio to safely put her feet on the ground instead of him. But he bit his tongue and helped Ayame out as he should and kept his eyes firmly on the ground.
It helped none the fact everyone commented on how amazing the second couple looked, compared even to Matsudaira-sama. It's high time the young ones took over, he heard people say when it came to that, and other variations of the same thing. Ayame and himself received many compliments themselves – on how different he looked when he took off those unlikeable colours of the Shinsengumi – and how the newcomer was very impressive, too.
The ceremony lasted a shorter time than they expected; the wedding couple stole the thunder from guests, as it should, and stood proud at the altar, in front of the Buddhist monk who chanted mantras and, per custom, had them consume sake from the same cup to solidify the union. The bride seemed ecstatic to be taking this step alongside Tokoyami-san, almost shining in her white, traditional kimono; the groom, too looked like the cat that ate the canary, more than satisfied for the woman that was about to enter his family's registry: a beautiful and surprisingly wise-looking twenty-year-old, that swelled with happiness.
Saitou couldn't help but feel jealous of his long-time self-proclaimed rival. Ayame couldn't be more wrong, Tokoyami bested him: he got married to the right woman first, who, by all appearances, was over the moon for this union. How could he not feel defeated and sour at the image in front of him? But, at the very least, he'll be bearable now. He tried not to sigh out loud. There was a small consolation though: everyone back at Headquarters positively stewed about how not only he got invited, but he got to go with a pretty girl…and got to see Tokio dress up again.
Small victories.
"I cannot believe my eyes…Saitou Hajime of the Shinsengumi in the flesh, standing right in front of me, at my wedding. you look a lot like a boy I knew back in Edo, Yamaguchi Hajime. Do you know him?"
Ayame's giggle stopped the drama. "Tokoyami-san, always so eager to create conflict…" She shook her head delicately, turning at the woman following behind him. "Now you two are as one, you must keep him in check."
"I am Saitou Hajime," he introduced himself to the illusive bride and she returned the gesture as well as the bow.
"I am Kobayashi Rindou, pleased to make your acquaintance."
"This is Higurashi Ayame," Saitou introduced his date, looking at said date, scolding "please excuse her poor manners. She is a little excited she managed to reconnect with so many friends in such a short amount of time."
"That is quite alright; I do understand a thing or two about having to make another's apologies." Her eyes slid skilfully towards her husband, who pretended not to notice. "But troublesome people are the best to take care of, wouldn't you agree?"
"Quite," he consented with a cryptic look in his face, yet the woman on his old friend's arm – now – smiled in a similar manner.
But Rindou's attention was grabbed by the people coming from behind them in an instant; her eyes grew wide and her surprise was nearly palpable. She whispered breathlessly in her husband's ear then – Saitou heard what she'd said though and almost betrayed it by nearly wincing – and put on her brightest smile. "Matsudaira-sama, Toshihime-sama, Saku-sama, Kiyo-sama…we are elated you managed to come."
She might have been the one to say it, but it was Tokoyami who bowed first. "You, my lord, grant us a great honour."
"I am overjoyed to see you so happy; your father was over the moon himself, excited beyond what words can describe. His one and only son marrying such a sensible, beautiful woman of this standing…what else could he ask for?"
Saitou didn't mind the pleasantries, nor the lord; but he knew, wherever Matsudaira went, Tokio followed. And right on schedule, she was seen approaching from the side, all small steps and grace. Hijikata was still offering his arm to her and she shamelessly took it, pretending to hold on to him to avoid any missteps.
"Tokio-san, welcome," Tokoyami started, all poise and formality "this is the first time I ever meet you in person."
"And yet you knew it was her," Rindou noted shrewdly.
"Well, I have heard of her…and the guests' comments about the prettiest kimono after the bride's being hers."
Tokio covered her mouth with her sleeve, per custom, as she politely laughed at his compliment. "I'd hate to hear what other things the guests might be saying about me, but I do take comfort they think me presentable," obviously referring to her controversial choice of a date " I am Takagi Tokio," she turned to the wife "I am very pleased to make you acquaintance."
"Pleasure is all ours."
"This is Hijikata Toushijou," she introduced the man holding on to her "the Shinsengumi's vice commander."
"Oh my, what a high post; do you serve it well?"
Heh, this Rindou character was very bold; the vice commander appreciated it—and showed so, by inclining his head respectfully.
"I hope our gifts prove satisfactory," Tokio changed the subject "we had quite some trouble picking it."
"We?" Tokoyami wondered.
"Ah, yes, didn't you know? Ayame-san has been staying with us, at the lord's estate." If his impressed yet surprised countenance was any indication, no, he had no idea. "We've been growing closer these past few days; she has such a nice character, wouldn't you agree?"
Tokoyami laughed. "Only when she wants to. And preferably to a certain someone's sister."
"Is it the sister of that man you mistook me for?" Saitou shamelessly goaded.
"Indeed," he took the bait but offered his own. "Of course, from what I hear, she only did it to gain said man's favour."
"That is ridiculous," Ayame immediately protested, gaining colour rapidly "why would I do that?"
"True; I bet if she wanted to gain his favour she should have been mean instead." Involuntarily, most people snorted with laughter. "Just a hunch."
Conversation devolved into the typical back and forth of thanks and blessings after that, rendering it completely boring. Yet, even this small exchange had served its purpose: Tokio tried to compliment Ayame to make her look more desirable, trying – and succeeding – to get the groom in on the fun, too. How despicably calculated of her.
Still, she wouldn't let go of Hijikata for a single moment since she stepped off of that carriage and for some reason that was the most infuriating thing this entire evening, damned be the scornful looks he received from most of the upper class. And to think the vice commander himself enjoyed his ire was even more infuriating. Had they planned this—talked about how to make him the most miserable?
But the time was near; once this wedding was over and Ayame left for home, he'd get his revenge on her—them both in fact. Hopefully, she could take it as gracefully as she seemed to take everything else. New breath blown into him, he withstood the rest of the evening with renewed vigour and patience. After all, Ayame knew him since childhood; it wasn't at all difficult to have a good time.
Maybe Tokio was on to something after all: Ayame wasn't such a terrible choice for a companion.
.
"It will feel a little lonely without that girl around," Matsudaira warned her "but you can always go visit her if you like. I did notice how close you two become," the man answered her questioning gaze "and if you so feel like it, I can allow you to travel there. Although," a small chuckle escaped him "considering what I saw at the wedding, maybe you will have to visit for a very particular reason—one you cannot say no to."
"Matsudaira-sama?"
"Didn't you also think her and Saitou made a wonderful couple?"
She felt her heart constricted; she forced a knowing smile out and looked at the man evenly. "I do; I had indeed hoped I wasn't the only one who noticed."
He laughed good-naturedly as he patted her back. "Let's just wish for the best…! Actually, my dear, why don't you go find out the truth?"
"My lord?"
"The Shinsengumi are having a big training exercise, I told you this." She nodded affirmatively. "What I failed to share is, there are a couple of men who stayed back, to keep watch over the headquarters. Naturally, it couldn't be Nagakura, with his position as a unit leader, or Okita, despite his skill, for the exact same reason…but Saitou, who is rumoured to be on par with Okita, if not even stronger, who for one reason or the other hasn't been given a unit of his own yet, was one of the few men who were selected to fall behind."
Her eyes became wider.
"At least, that is what my information has told me; maybe they chose to take him after all, not that he needs it. Maybe they decided to make other changes, I don't know. But why don't you go over there to find out?"
Her heart beat faster at the prospect. If he was indeed there and it was just the two of them – for the most part – they could finally have a proper talk, get things out of the way. And, naturally, find out what has happened between the two of them. Bastard kept her in the dark, ever since she dared insinuate maybe he was better off marrying Ayame. In fact, he made it so that they didn't really interact after that at all.
Alright, so she said something mildly insensitive; she knew the man wanted her and not this childhood friend that popped up out of nowhere. But she too knew it was a dangerous game they played, especially since, if she was being honest, keeping away didn't help at all—distance and absence only made her heart grow fonder. His, too. So, yes, he was probably pissed at her. But to think he shut her so wholly down…! It stung.
Thus, Matsudaira's suggestion really was a godsent. "You can pretend you're there for some important reason—like delivering my letter to them and since you cannot go find Kondou, or Hijikata, you decided to drop it off there."
"That sounds great, my lord. I shall do that." She gave a deep bow full of gratitude. "When can I go?"
"Now."
.
.
"Tokio-sama!"
The guard at the door stood at attention the moment he spotted her. "Good evening," she greeted kindly.
Although the conversation with her lord happened a little after morning turned into noon, she purposefully left such a big gap; she needed to get dressed appropriately, go talk to Teruhime-sama who was preparing for her next big journey and then make sure she had the mental fortitude to make this conversation with Saitou. She still wasn't sure, on account of getting too melancholic just thinking about the two together, but she had managed to talk herself into it. After all, the lord expected answers, too.
"We were told you'd be coming; Saitou-san is waiting for you in the main hall."
"Thank you, Akira-san. I shall go meet him immediately."
So, they knew of her arrival and he was indeed there; how fortunate. And how nice, he wanted to talk to her, too. That was a good sign. Effortlessly, she found her way to the room Akira spoke of, in under five minutes, despite the size of the place. Her feet carried her too fast, even faster than her heartbeat was. Nervous, yet determined, she stood in front of the door.
"This is Tokio," she spoke firmly.
"Come in, then," she heard his voice and her entire body was electrified; her fingers instinctively moved to the door, that's how much she wanted to see him "what are you doing standing there?" She drew it open. "It's just the two of us for at least five rooms, hime-sama; you won't be seen or heard, fear not."
"Hajime."
She wouldn't look at him though, after that initial longing stare, even if she spoke his name. "How have you been? I heard about the training exercise."
He rolled his eyes, saying, defeated "of course, you have."
"How come you didn't ask to join?"
"Takeda was the one who suggested it," he spoke with distaste "and I refuse to play any part in that man's plans." He shrugged. "How come you're here, hime-sama?"
He went straight to the point, how convenient. "Matsudaira-sama sent me; he has a letter he needs your commanders to see, but thought prudent not to ask where they were, and just have you deliver it to them."
"And he couldn't have sent for me instead?"
She opened her mouth to speak…but faltered. "Um, well, he hadn't thought of that."
"And why is that?"
"Because he cared more to know about you and Ayame-san than the letter be delivered…and so do I." The arrogance was almost palpable, his face the perfect example of self-importance. And the way he kept staring without saying a word drove her crazy; especially since she couldn't hold his eyes for more than a second. "What did you decide about your future?"
It was left hanging in the air, this unprecedented tension between them. Wrong; it had been there before, but not about things of this nature. She felt her throat going dry, even if she was the one waiting for the answer, not the one to give it.
"Did you know," Saitou started about after staring her down for an entire minute "she left the capital for Edo." She nodded she did know. "No stops on the way," a jab at her own route, once upon a time "straight back home. Well, it makes sense; there's a wedding to be held there."
Alright, she wasn't made of stone; her eyes snapped up to him, she couldn't help it. But her treacherous reaction made him smirk wider, all-knowing attitude intensifying, as he saw the panic in her direct stare. "In three months from now, I gather."
Her heart stopped beating; her throat felt sandy. They set a date already? Wasn't that a little too…soon!? She looked at him shocked, searching for a single sign he was lying, it was just a joke; he would break and tell her to relax soon…any minute now…
But he didn't. He was serious—he was being honest.
Suddenly, she couldn't breathe; she tried swallowing, but that too proved nigh impossible. With monumental effort, she managed not to cry, tears pooling in her eyes be damned. "I-…is that so?"
He nodded, casually. "Then I guess congratulations are in order." Her voice shook and it sounded nothing like her; too high pitched one second, too deep the other. It wavered, much like her confidence just had. She was wrong. She couldn't handle this.
"Congratulations? To me? What for?"
"F-f-f-f-f-for the wedding obv…iously…"
"It wasn't I who arranged or had any hand in it though."
Was he throwing at her face that she was the one who suggested they be together? Was he enjoying this!? "Even so," she persevered, anger mingling with regret and abysmal sadness "I must wish you all the best. I hope you have a great future together."
Her smile was watery and dismal. He scoffed. "What kind of well-wishing is that? It's unsightly."
She bristled, yet at the same time felt too much shame. He was partly right; she was the one who pushed him to do this, she had no right to act like this. And yet, she couldn't force herself to smile for the life of her.
"D-do forgive me…I will be able to smile properly in a minu-…in a da-…in a week from now, I promise."
"A week? How pathetic; if you need an entire week just to-"
"Ah, if it isn't-…"
Two things happened at once: a very upbeat Okita walked through the open door and thusly, Saitou was interrupted. But the other man didn't stop out of courtesy; he did it because he saw Tokio struggling not to outright bawl in front of his friend.
"Tokio-chan! What's wrong with you?" Almost instantly, he turned to glare at Saitou, while approaching her. "What did he do?"
Saitou clicked his tongue annoyed.
"N-nothing, Souji-kun," she hiccupped, trying her hardest to remain tear-free, as Okita's hand came around her in a protective hug – an act that earned himself a heated death-glare from Saitou – "I just found out Ayame-san returned home for her-…th-the wedding."
Okita looked at her confused; she sensed something was not quite right and looked up. Her eyes were prying; his, too and decided to probe further: "So?"
Her offense was something to behold…! Which was why, he was even more confused. "Did you come to like her so much that finding out she's going to help with her brother's wedding without you made you so sad?"
Tokio froze; Saitou smirked even wider. Okita missed his friend's reaction and simply stared at the woman, more confused than ever. "Is that it?"
"Her brother who's getting married in three months, yes?"
Okita nodded repeatedly. "She was pretty disappointed when she left though; I believe it had to do with the fact she'd hoped there would have been two weddings, if you know what I mean."
"I do," she assured, tears vanishing completely. Suddenly, her tone had bite in it. Okita was at a loss.
"Did I do something?"
"You did nothing. Can…can you leave us for a while, Souji?"
"Um…" His eyes wandered to Saitou. His stone-cold face said I don't care, but his eyes had taken that subtle darker hue, ordering him to stay. Easily figuring out his friend had done something to upset her after all, he decided he deserved whatever was coming to him. "Sure," he said in the end and went to the door. "Work it out you two," was the last thing he said as he drew it closed behind him, feeding his friend to the wolves, oh the irony.
There was silence for a good while before she even turned to look at him. And when she did, the anger had turned into fury and regret transformed into a terrible monster in her chest, as indignation and relief gripped her tight.
"Her brother's wedding?"
He shrugged, slipping into his cool and collected stance.
"Her brother's wedding?"
"I told you I'm not the one you should congratulate, didn't I?"
That was it; she overflowed. "You miscreant! You unbelievable, incorrigible egoist! You made it sound like you were the one getting married just to make me upset!?"
Unbothered, he nodded yes. She let out an exasperated screech that made him wince, but other than that, he didn't move a single centimetre, even as her hands came down on his chest repeatedly, to showcase the full extent of her displeasure.
"You are a terrible, terrible man! And here I thought you-…and to casually say that, I thought-…you animal!"
"Oh, I'm sorry, did it affect you? Can't imagine why. You're the one who told me to do it." She stopped her barrage and looked away vexed but shamed, his accusation hitting too close to home. "And if it affects you so much it'd take an entire week for you to smile properly about it then why would you tell me to do it on the first place?"
"Because I wanted to be the bigger person Hajime," she almost shouted in his face "because just once, I thought about how to be less selfish and more tolerant!"
"No one asked you that!"
"You asked me what I wanted and I wanted you to be with her because it would make you happy and safe!"
"How can you possibly know that?"
"I don't; I hoped it would!"
"It wouldn't; and what you wanted was to feel guiltless for anything that might happen in the future by pretending you at least tried to steer me in another direction."
"That's not true!" she vehemently denied his absolutes.
"Then why the hell would you even say that?" When her mouth opened defiantly, he stopped her. "Yeah, yeah, you were trying to be the bigger person and less selfish—but you chose the worst possible instance for you to start thinking about others. I asked you what you wanted, not what you thought I needed. And for someone who's subject to other people deciding for her, I thought you wouldn't try to do the same and make my choice for me."
She felt like he slapped her in the face; turning away, she trained her eyes on the tatami mats on the floor. He clicked his tongue, hands crossed firmly. "To think you so easily tried to pawn me off to the first woman that came by, how shameless."
"…that's not true." She said it low but clear. "I don't want you to get married to Ayame; I don't want you to get married to anyone. I'd rather you stayed here forever and be by my side…but that's not fair to you. I can be married off to anyone, at any given moment. I have no authority over my future, you said so yourself. What if my father announced I'm leaving for Edo tomorrow, to meet my future husband? Where does that leave you?"
There was a pause, during which no one moved: he remained staring at her and she kept staring down. "I don't want to be married off to some man I don't even know; and I certainly don't want to leave. But that's not for me to decide. So, I hoped if I could help you make a difficult choice, it would be worth it—I only did what I thought was best."
"You idiot."
She jumped! When did he get from there to here? He was so close, she bumped into him when she turned around…!
"You think I don't know?" She couldn't stand looking at him but at same time, she couldn't help but want to look at him. "You think I don't care?" His hand found the left side of her face, taking hold of it firmly, just as firm and unforgiving as his tone was, despite the content of his words. "I don't want you to leave for whatever reason, too how much more for getting married." He brought her closer, his forehead almost touching hers. "I want you here, where I can see you."
Her heart hammered in her chest; her lips felt tingly. Their mere proximity made her warm. And for whatever reason, she couldn't stop staring at his mouth… "But when you tell me you'd rather see me with another woman than hold on a little longer, how do you think it makes me feel?"
"I don't know…how…?"
He smirked; she was breathless and her entire face was red but it had nothing to do with shame. She hadn't realised, but her own hand was on top of his, holding it there. He could feel the rapid rise and fall of her chest, matching his own. A jolt of electricity ran through him and he knew what he wanted to do. What he had to do.
He leaned closer. "It makes me feel rejected…" He felt her nod and lean closer to him, but never saw it. All he could see was her lips: red, plump and soft. He swallowed. "…and that makes me feel dangerous."
His voice was guttural, as if he could barely speak; wherever he touched he touched, she felt her skin on fire. She had no idea what it was she felt, but it was torture. "You're always dangerous," she whispered back, breath on his neck.
He ignored her, in favour of running his thumb over her lower lip. "So, I'm asking you for the last time: what do you want me to do?"
"I want you to do whatever makes you happy."
He took a step forward and her back touched the wall. He never let go of her face but didn't do anything else. "That's not a real answer," he growled in her ear and she shivered all over. Satisfied, his hand delved into her hair, ruining her elaborate do. "Is it?"
She finally looked up to his eyes; she was surprised to see them just as heavy as hers, too focused on one thing. She brought them back down, an unfamiliar feeling driving her thoughts. "I want you…" She could barely speak, or hear herself, because of her heartbeat. "…for myself."
"Was that so hard to say?"
She bit her lip; it nearly killed him. "Yes…" Her colour was close to purple. Still, she would say what she wanted, no matter how timid she felt. "…what do you want?"
"You; now." His hand snaked around her waist after going down her side, rendering her brain completely useless. "And every day of every week of every month…of every year."
There was a moment of suspension; reality and fiction blended into one, and for that one, solitary moment, all they could do was stare at one another. But then it was gone, as abruptly as it came, and the fire was lit.
He had tried. He had tried being proper; and patient; and indifferent; and distant. But none of it worked. It all led him with absolute precision to this exact moment where there was only one thing he could really do, if he called himself a man. And before he knew it, he was descending upon her with such drive and ferocity, if it was anyone other than her she'd have been scared. But he was kissing her with passion; with the pent-up aggression of all the past months from New Year's till now, with anger, with relief, with possession…and if it was anyone other than her, she'd really have been scared.
But it wasn't. And she might have been slow to start, but she was returning his kisses with her own, just as heated and possessive, just as angry and wild because it wasn't just him. It was her, too that felt all those disappointments and near misses and lost chances. Her hands had circled his neck, pulling herself up and as close to him as possible.
He'd never been kissed like this before; he'd never kissed anyone like this, either. It was carnal and needy and out of control and If anyone saw them, it could mean the end for him, but for the first time in his life, he didn't care. He simply couldn't bring himself to worry about such a trivial matter when he had her right there, in his arms, pushing back every time he pushed forward.
It felt it was an entire life time later when they parted, but he needed to catch his breath. Just as breathless, she let him support himself on her, foreheads touching, while her hands found her way to the front of his clothes.
"I'm so…indecent," she said while still panting, wanting to touch him as much as possible "I can't stop myself."
"You and me both," he teased, trying to make her feel better and his own hands couldn't stop going up and down her frame.
"But this feels…so different. So amazing; I can't believe he was right."
"Who was?"
"Okita; said it's not the first kiss that deserves to be memorable, but the second. Or third."
And with that, it was her that came for him, grabbing his fabrics with both hands and pulling him down towards her. Her mind spun; it felt like her body had a will of its own. No matter what she did, it told her, it needed to concern him or else. She was no fool, of course; she had to comply. When one is a doctor by profession, they know: the body has its own needs and its own way to tell you what it needs. Hers, him: his lips on her neck, his hands on her waist, or her back, her sides, her ribs, her-…everywhere.
But this time it didn't last as long; it was cut short by a very confused Saitou who was torn between laughing and being very upset. He looked at her suspicious.
"Okita was what now?"
And that's where her mind started working again. Shit. Did she say that out loud? Oh no. poor…poor Okita…now she had to explain. "Um…"
"About what?"
"Now, see, this is not what it sounded-"
"By extension of your thought process this means this is not your first kiss." She tried to speak but he paid no attention. "Was your first kiss two years ago?"
"No."
"Was it one year ago?"
"N…no…"
"How long ago was it?"
"It wasn't even a real kiss, Hajime," she tried to pacify him "I didn't kiss him, he kissed me, but it was so fleeting—it's of no consequence."
"When was it?"
"You can barely call it a kiss even, it was just a peck."
"When was it."
"Four months ago…" The oddest look of trying to keep his temper in check and yet still find out more came over his face and he had to brace himself for the rest, which he was expecting to hear. "When I was staying here."
His chest rose and his nostrils flared. "When exactly?"
"When you two fought…he came by my room later to explain what happened and I said something, he called me mean and you a coward and then proclaimed how no woman should be married without kissing someone other than her husband and…did it."
He didn't react at all; it scared her even more. "I, I swear, it was nothing! It barely lasted three seconds and you know how Souji is—"
"Don't call him like that!"
"—he doesn't think before he acts."
"What are you doing anyway?" He finally snubbed when he had enough of her hands pawing at his sides.
"Trying to take your sword away from you…"
"Don't bother; I'll kill him!"
"NO! Hajime, no, wait; stay!"
She tried to stop his advance by literally pulling him back, but it didn't work—he just dragged her with him. "You can't go attack him, he asked me not to tell."
"Of course, he did; because he knew I'd kill him if I ever found out!"
"Hajime, please, it isn't that horrible; it wasn't even a real kiss, honestly."
"You did count it as your first kiss though."
"Don't be like that, Hajime, come on, it isn't fair. Why is Souji here on the first place even, how inconvenient…"
"I told you not to call him that." He actually had to stop to tell her that. "And I thought I told you, it was Takeda who suggested this exercise; we hate Takeda."
Just then, he walked in the training grounds, finding him there; he was working up a sweat already, his real sword in hand…perfect. This "conversation" would be quicker. Without a single warning, he unsheathed his sword and attacked Okita! Jolted out from his train of thought, as he practised his usual kata, Okita put up his sword defensively and fended him off.
"Saitou-san, what in earth—!?"
"I'll kill you, you bastard!"
"What did I do now?"
"Not now, four months ago."
It took barely a second for Okita to register; his eyes became small and he turned to glare at Tokio. "You said you wouldn't tell."
"Don't bring her into this."
"He made me, Souji, I'm so sorry."
"Don't call him that!"
His concentration was broken for but a second; it was enough for Okita to push him back and jumped away from his trajectory. "It wasn't a real kiss, Saitou-san; and it wasn't all that important." He jumped back an impressive way. "You tell him, too, Tokio-chan."
"I did but he didn't listen."
"I said don't bring her into this!"
"But it's her we're fighting over."
"No, it isn't; she didn't ask you to kiss her."
"I said fighting over, not because of her."
Both Tokio and Saitou glared at the small but agile man, who was now a good distance away from the attacking man. "Look, you can't kill me, okay? I'm dying anyway."
"Everyone's dying in the end."
"Yeah, but I'm kind of on the fast track."
Saitou stopped dead in his tracks; his eyes stopped being so narrow and aggressive as the emotions melted into a bamboozled concern. "You see, I have tuberculosis." He stared shocked. "I have, what, some years left? Don't try to take those away from me, too, man, it isn't fair…!"
His tone was light and one could tell he was joking. But it was just that which made Saitou utterly believe him. he lowered his weapon and stared incredulously; his friend simply shrugged. Unable to comprehend the entire situation, he turned to Tokio, who nodded it was so morosely.
His shoulders fell and he sheathed his sword. He took a deep breath. "You idiot." He went close just so he could hit him upside the head; Okita didn't dodge. "Why haven't you said anything, if it's so serious? I thought it was maybe a persistent cold or…goddamn it." He sighed. "Now I can't attack you as I want." He clicked his tongue. "Fine; let's spar. And if you win, I drop it. I accept this is not important and we all go on with our lives. But, if I win…you accept you stole her first kiss and apologise to her—and me, too."
"Fair enough. Let's do this." He took two wooden swords from the case and threw him one. "Whoever reaches five hits first wins."
"Deal; Tokio, you'll be the referee."
She rolled her eyes. Idiots, the both of them. She raised her hand; when it came down, the signal was clear. They started immediately.
.
"You were really determined…"
That was the first thing Tokio said once they left the training grounds, glancing at Saitou with the edge of her eyes, who was staring straight ahead. He had worked up quite a sweat, too. Every single time one of them neared the set points they had placed, the other would complain and they would have to add two more, two more, two more…until the match was won by Saitou with the score being 24 to 25.
"You bet I was."
She smiled. "You get easily jealous, Hajime." He growled. "It really didn't mean anything though…it was innocent and maybe a consolation. That day, I…I had scolded him about not telling me of his condition sooner and…anyway, it wasn't that big of a deal. Surely, it was very indecent of me to allow it and if anyone saw us it would have been misinterpreted, but it wasn't as terrible as you make it out to be."
"I don't mind you being indecent," he said, eyes sliding to her "so long you're only being indecent with me."
She felt her face warm, by the implication alone. He said it casually but with such weight at the same time, too and she couldn't help grabbing her cheeks and looking away. "Y, yes…I didn't really want to be kissed, either so…"
"I know." His smirk was a little hurt yet a little crooked. "I'm just annoyed, after all this time, I wasn't the first one to kiss you."
She couldn't help the smile. "Well, according to the offender, it was a good thing; second or third kisses are more memorable." He shook his head amused. "Also, it would be bad luck, as apparently it would automatically mean I would have to marry someone else."
He snorted. "That would be the one thing that would be the cause of that, right."
"Besides, there are all sorts of firsts to concern yourself with, other than a mere kiss…"
And with that, she walked ahead of him…not because she picked up her pace, but because he remained unmoving for well over three seconds, mildly shocked. Did she just imply that…? He couldn't wrap his head around it properly. At least, hey, it wasn't just him that felt that way. He genuinely smiled, a little surprised, a little disbelieving, as he watched her go.
This woman was all twists and curves. But, at least for now, they were all his. And maybe, if he played his cards right…maybe in the future as well. But for that, he needed to wait. Sadly, he didn't know how much. No matter what though, he knew one thing for sure: she was the one for him. And if he couldn't have her, he didn't care for another.
But then, he remembered something. Wait just a minute...! He rushed to catch up with her. "Is this what you wouldn't tell me about?"
A/N: I bet you didn't see THAT coming, did you? Wink wink. Hahaha, I know many of you were waiting for this to happen, I do. And I'm such a tease, it took only 31 chapters to deliver. Sorry not sorry. Mainly because, I have had this scene planned out for such a long time...this is where it's supposed to go, you know?
Now, what new trials can be awaiting the young couple down the road? Well, I know, but you have to stick around to find out, so don't forget to alert this story, just so you don't have to check for an update. And as always, please leave a review on your way out. I hope you enjoyed and had as much fun as I did writing. See you next time beautiful peeps.
Kisses,
FAI~~