A/N: I am alive. I am. I swear. This fic is still being written and I'm still pouring over it and I have not abandoned it. Not at all. And after a year plus change, it's finally getting an update. Am I a piece of garbage for it taking so long? A little. But I couldn't find the mood, the muse or the time for it. So so sorry. Still, here it is, yay!
I love you, I'm sorry for the long wait, and let's do this.
Historical facts: The Shinsengumi Headquarters were transferred to the temple Nishi Hongan-ji, in April 1865.
Almost at the same time, Hajime was made Third Squad Captain.
Timeline: April 1865-July 1865.
She'd been alone for long; too long.
In fact, she's been left alone to fend for herself, for more than a month. And this lovely little cottage, in this remote little village, in the middle of nowhere, has been her home for this entire time. Could she have left earlier? Yes. Much! She just didn't want to...for it would mean she chose to forsake Hajime. Or, at least, leave him to the mercy of the gods. And she infinitely preferred to be in the thick of it, rather than abandon him in favour of her safety.
He'd probably hate it, scold her for it and not talk to her for a long time, but she didn't care; she wanted to know he was alive and as well as he can be.
Besides, all of this wouldn't have happened if it weren't for Hajime; and her father. The former was insistent she went back to Aizu as soon as possible, the moment her father had suggested it, when he had come to Kyoto for her yet again failed attempt at a marriage, while Kojuuro, naturally, had proposed it only a hundred times. It'd been three months later she finally gave in and decided to return to her family home, for no other reason than Hajime convincing her it was infinitely easier to keep men – thus offers of marriage – away, if she went back north. Her father might have given in and officially stopped all talks of it, but if someone saw her, he could always have a conversation or a correspondence and change the man's mind.
At the same time, the fact her father seemed to be slightly aware of something or another about her feelings towards a certain swordsman, as well as Matsudaira's almost conspirator's looks and hushed discussions with his wife and sister-in-law, it all but assured her, things would indeed be for the best if she left. And with Takahiro-sensei, Buddha may rest his soul, gone from this world, there was not much she could be taught; he had already medically emancipated her, in a way, when he claimed he had nothing left to instruct her on. And he had quite the long time that he had stopped showing her anything new—he would only revise things. And a short period before he regrettably left this world, he had stopped altogether.
So, her excuse of having loads to learn was non-existent. They had told her, all else you need to know will come either through experience or some very particular or foreign book, which would mean she could do it on her own.
Thus, she agreed to return to her family home.
Of course, no small part in it played the developments in the capital and surrounding areas, which only made things more dangerous. Even Teruhime started thinking of maybe relocating with Tokio, a thought prompted by her brother-in-law, but entertained seriously by the older woman. Still, she decided against it, in the end.
Her safety being the only concern from then on, her father devised a plan to get his daughter from the capital to Aizu with secrecy, hoping it would mean maximum security. Just one person with her, same horse, they'd take regular breaks until they reached their destination. He spent a lot of money on it, sending "care packages" to various inns, to take care of his daughter and her travel companion. He had made it so the journey was a little longer, but through friendly territory, choosing villages – never cities – that held pro-shogun sentiments. In some of those places, due to his travels, he had acquaintances or friends of his own, so he had additional reason to believe she would be kept safe.
And, most important of all, he had given the Shinsengumi vice-captain freedom to pick one place to function as a safe-house, in case they were somehow found out, for the two to escape to and lay low for a while. Freedom, in Hijikata's case, meant almost unlimited resources for equipping or even arming said safe house in complete secrecy, which of course means he'd have to bribe many people with varying decrees of enthusiasm.
So Kojuuro had wished; and so it happened. But when he told them the person he was planning to ask to take her on this journey, they all had stopped to look at the letter with shock: none other than Saitou Hajime, the vice-commander's right hand man and one of the most fearsome swordsmen of the unit that never failed to keep her safe.
That she happened to be in love with. And, conveniently, he happened to return the feeling; and her father, as far as most people were concerned, knew it.
So their shock was to be expected; did the implications not matter to him? They would be alone for a long time—for an entire week, day and night, all alone in inns and consequently rooms that would be shared for no other reason than they would be posing as husband and wife, not to attract any suspicion.
When Matsudaira-sama, urged by an almost frantic Hijikata – who knew very well how to hide his panic and ire from the ones important – wrote back to her father, asking him to reconsider the racy appointment, he declined. He'd said, he had kept her safe before this without fail, he never put her in danger himself—if anything he knew how to keep her out of it, best out of all. And given the significance she has to Saitou, personal or otherwise, as Kojuuro himself emphasized in his replying letter, there was no better candidate. In fact, it would be considered a personal favour, he went so far to claim, if his commander, Kondou-san, found it in his heart to part with his man without protest. After all, he was certain it was Kondou and not Hijikata who prompted the Aizu-han to ask for a different charge.
All parties involved bewildered to say the least, save Tokio who was almost glowing, accepted the charge. So, nearly half a year later, after all preparations were complete and Hijikata could say without regret that all was ready, they set out on their journey.
Ah, that day was filled with tears and goodbyes. Teruhime was crying; Toshihime managed not to shed any tears, but didn't stop sniffling pathetically at the gates. Matsudaira himself was trying very hard not to show his tears that were there whether he wanted them or not, while a very big chunk of the working force of the mansion came to see her off and wish her a happy trip and a happy life. After all, it was a common secret that she went back for good, no matter what they tried to tell them.
Naturally, Hajime's morale was at an all-time high. Not only had he been doing great in the unit, not only Hijikata suggested his new position be that of a Captain and head of Spears, not only it was accepted easily by Matsudaira, but he was one of the people responsible for moving the Headquarters from Mibu, to Nishi Hongan-Ji, a most advantageous position. To celebrate the occasion, Hijikata informed him he was going to be the Third Unit Captain; men congratulated him, patted his back, and they made merry.
But, truth be told, Tokio had spilled the beans three days earlier. She found out about his appointment from Matsudaira-sama, who always shared these things with her, but, most importantly, knowing her affections for the man, couldn't help but entrust this knowledge to her, for no other reason than to make her happy. The night she told him of the news, she even went as far as to hug him by wrapping her hands around his neck.
Then came more accomplishments, with his new-found confidence, and more appointments, so he was almost distinguished, when her father made his request—the very reason he thought Kondou had protested his preference. Nothing could be further from the truth, but he had no idea.
"Hijikata has assigned me a second duty," was the first thing that left his lips, as soon as they were out of the confines of Kyoto, just as they made their first break.
She had seemed interested, but also like she was expecting something like that from the fearsome and ever practical vice-commander.
"Which is?"
"I have to retrieve something of value for the unit; for that to happen, I'll have to leave you alone for a short while."
That she did not expect; her eyebrows rose, looking at him keenly. "There was a reason he took so long to set up our safe-house: he was planning to use it all along." Ah, that explained pretty much everything. "I will take you there; after that, I'll leave to do what I need. Now here's the difficult part: if I haven't returned in three days, you must leave without me."
There it was; the subtle change in mood, the protest brewing in her throat, ready to escape. Her shoulders squared, her body moved forward; he put his palm up, flat, to stop her. "Listen to me first. He set up a whole plan: whether I make it or not, from the moment we arrive to the safe house, we'll have four days to leave. A carriage will be waiting, which will use our horse, too. Whence we come too close to Aizu, we lose the carriage. But naturally, the carriage won't wait forever. If I'm not back in three days, you have to leave, otherwise you'll miss it. And then, you'll have no way to get to Aizu."
"But we'll still have the horses."
"Tokio, if I'm not back in three days, it can mean a number of things; one of them is, as much as I hate to think it, I'm dead."
The look of absolute anger and exasperation she shot him was formidable; but he saw it coming. "So," he persevered, "in the extreme and rare case that happens, if you don't leave when you must, you'll have no other way to reach our destination. After all, say you stay a week, two weeks; if I make it back, no matter what state I'm in, we can eventually get to Aizu. But if I never return, what of you?"
She didn't want to hear of it.
"You won't die, Hajime!"
"What if?"
"You won't."
"Work with me here."
"If you do, I—...I don't want to think about it. Please." She shook her head. "Don't say such things, we just started our journey."
Her huffing, the way she turned slightly away, pouting, warmed his heart. She was already sulking and worrying about him. The smile that graced his face was honest. "I won't; I'll come back, as I must. But in the extreme case something does go wrong, I need your reassurance that you'll do as I ask and leave three days later."
"Do you mean that if, for whatever reason, you take more than three days, you won't be returning to the safe-house?"
"...no," he was reluctant to admit "because I need something from there that I can't take with me when I'll be heading off alone."
And he was right not to want to share this piece of information, for she nearly exclaimed in triumph. "See? What if you take a week but come back hurt? Should I just abandon you?"
"Yes."
"No!"
He sighed; she was being difficult. "Tokio, I need you to promise me; if you don't, after all, and stay there to wait for me, everyone will worry." His eyes probed an answer out of her, one she denied to give. "Think of your father; how much he'll worry if you show up even three days later. What if, say Hijikata, completely misinterprets this and thinks we ran away together?"
She couldn't help the chuckle at the thought.
"You think I jest, but this was one of his most legitimate fears; he made me swear I won't do anything of the short." She laughed now; he rolled his eyes. "Tokio, promise me."
"No," she said with confidence and flair; he huffed.
"Yes."
"No."
"This is getting us nowhere." Her look was challenging; he sighed. "You'll say yes eventually...for now, let's just rest."
The first smart thing he suggested all day! Beaming, she easily transitioned from standing to sitting in his lap, something he not only allowed, but welcomed. "How are you feeling about going back home?"
"...strange," she replied truthfully. "I thought it would happen much later and under different circumstances." She shrugged. "But this seems just a good reason as any." She planted a kiss on his cheek. "I'll simply wait for you there. It only worries me I won't be around to keep you healthy."
His smirk was crooked. "I existed in this world before you, hime-sama...but I'll certainly miss you." He returned the favour by kissing her neck, making her shiver. "It'll be a long while before we get to see each other again, especially since things are getting much more aggressive and complicated. On one hand, I am being entrusted with more duties and responsibilities which will take much more time, but on the other, they show me an amount of trust I cannot but feel honoured by."
"That is true; Hijikata showered you with praises to the lord, before your appointment was made permanent." She giggled. "I think he did it because he feared you might have fallen out of grace after Matsudaira-sama found out about my affections for you."
He shook his head, all in good humour.
"But I do bring good luck, yes?" His eyebrow raised; she was having none of it. "Look at you; ever since I met you, you've only improved your situation and station."
"If you refer to the facts I kept saving you or finding you when you went missing or got kidnapped, then yes."
"Hajime!"
He chuckled, enjoying her offense, expecting the small smack on his chest that followed. "Am I wrong?"
"Be quiet, you," she ordered, but her voice held no animosity; and when she made no attempt to remove herself from his lap, it was obvious she didn't actually mind.
"Once you've had your fill, we're going. We have three hours left to ride, then we meet the first village and inn of our destination."
"Ah, right."
"Do you remember our cover?"
"Yes! I am Yamaguchi Sakura, a maid in a rich man's mansion; you are Yamaguchi Jirou, a guard of the same rich man; we met a year ago and we just got married. Currently, we are going back to the village I am from, so you can meet my parents."
"Perfect. Remember the rich man's name?"
She smiled guiltily. "No."
He smiled at her sincerity. "Ichinose Go."
"I won't forget, again."
"You better not."
They stayed like that for another five minutes until Tokio stood, giving the signal for them to start their trip anew.
That first night they spent together, was surreal. It was not only the fact they were all alone, allowed to do everything and anything they wanted, or at least, whatever their morals allowed, it was the general feeling of freedom, of ease...this was like a test-trial. It would be just the two of them for a week and change. That meant they would have none other than each other to keep company and talk to. Considering the fact he had personally asked her hand in marriage, claiming he would make things official once this war was over—or as soon as the opportunity arose, this would be the best way to determine how much they could get along, when all was said and done; could they stand one another long term?
Also, how would their nights go by?
She felt too shy or proper to ask him to lie with her in the bed next to her. At least, not yet. He had respectfully looked away while she was changing and she had done the same, but after their tea was consumed and the conversation was over, they blew the candles out; and it was time to sleep. He put a pillow on the floor and sat on it, vigilant; one leg bent, the other propped up in front of him, knee bent in the air. His sword was resting next to his left hand and he wouldn't stop alternating between watching the door and the woman.
"You won't lie down to sleep at all?"
"I'm here to keep you safe, remember?"
She said nothing else; just bid him goodnight.
Next night, next inn, next room; the funniest thing was, she saw he was a creature of habit and did the exact same motions all over again, even if this once, she had convinced him to go for a bath after their dinner. But, as soon as they returned, he turned around to let her dress, changed himself, sat in seiza opposite her as she poured the tea and once they had finished it all, as well as their conversation, he stood and blew out the candles, fixing his pillow.
She smiled. "You are going to sleep sitting up again?" He simply nodded. "I see."
Without warning, she picked up her futon to the best of her ability and dragged it all the way to Hajime. There, she proceeded to lie down next to him. Slowly, but certainly, a hand peeked out the cover and offered itself to him. Surprised, but not at all unwilling, he allowed his own hand come over hers and hold it there, for as long as he was awake. She fell asleep before him, but he noticed, she never let go.
He smiled; watching her breath coming in and out steadily, moving her hair every time, was almost mesmerising. She was so...precious. Even if all he wanted to do was snake next to her and hug her close for the entire night, he knew he couldn't. Not because he wasn't allowed, or what she might think; no one was here to police him and she would never take offense. It was just that he simply didn't trust himself to be too cozy with her.
He might get greedy.
So, he better keep his distance as much as possible, and simply watch her sleep, or hold her hand through it. She was being adorable after all. And with that thought, he too went to sleep, not long after.
He did wake up first though.
.
.
They were five days into their journey, when they finally reached the village of their safe-house. It was small, rural and heavily populated for its size. People there did mostly manual labor, working on the rice fields, and hand-crafts; they were honest people, with a healthy dose of curiosity. It wasn't simply gossiping, it was also their way of life, for that was the only way they could receive news of surrounding villages.
Thus, when two strangers rolled in, a young couple no less, with no previous ties to any of the people there, old or young, whispers started immediately. They hadn't managed to walk through what was considered the official confines of the village that a small delegation greeted them, comprised of five individuals: a middle aged man, whose posture screamed authority, with what appeared to be his wife on his left, a middle-aged woman with a soft expression on her face. Then, one step behind them, was an old man, kindly and skinny, hunched over his cane, wrinkles betraying years of experience. Right next to him was a young woman, no older than twenty, who was holding a pitchfork, looking mighty pleased with herself, thinking she stroke an intimidating pose. Last but not least, there was a lanky, bespectacled man, looking at the newcomers with small eyes and pursed lips. Their clothes were simple and so were their attitudes.
When they came close, the middle-aged man spoke first. "Welcome travelers; who might you be?"
Always playing the role of the newlyweds, always proper, it was Hajime who came to a halt first, walking ahead of Tokio. He hadn't been for the entire journey, naturally; only when they entered settlements. The wish to hold her hand while not on horseback was too great to resist.
"Greetings; my name is Yamaguchi Jirou and this is my wife, Yamaguchi Sakura."
He had introduced themselves a thousand times, so one would think he'd be used to it by now, but no. Every single time it was the same. Just speaking the word wife made him stand a little prouder, make him excited because, as of half a year ago, it wasn't such an unattainable feat; if he played his cards right, maybe one day he would manage to introduce her as his real wife: Saitou Tokio.
That'd be the day.
And, per usual, Tokio bowed respectfully, her very simple hairdo moving with her. Of course, it was difficult to hide her status just by the hair length—only rich women could easily maintain that length, so she had to find ways to work around it. But she did and it always made him swell how well and easily she fell in step with him and played the part of the happy wife. It was somewhat ego-stroking how she was so well-mannered in fact and he could unintentionally brag about it.
"We have been recently married, but her parents couldn't be there; so, we travel—"
"—to meet them; yes, indeed! Your lord and employer sent me a letter about you; said you needed to stay for a while in one of our cottages." He nodded somewhere far away behind with his head. "He must really like your work 'coz he sent me an envelope full of money to lease it and cover your expenses!"
A boisterous laugh followed, hands going to his waist. "Though I fear he overestimated our living arrangements; he spoke for a break of five days at most, yet he paid for a month!"
"Maybe he's so rich he doesn't care," the young woman shrugged, suddenly uncaring.
"Or maybe he planned for the rest to go to the couple, to keep financing their journey," the woman that appeared to be the guy's wife countered the girl, who simply waved her away.
"He wouldn't ask for the money back, if that's what you're implying," Saitou made perfectly clear "and we have no intention of taking any money back from you either. Right?"
The way he tilted his head back and gave her room to speak surprised all present. "Indeed; it is, after all, just the two of us." She looked at him fondly. "We manage."
"Then, by all means," the middle-aged man opened his arms wide open "welcome to Kouda village! I am Shino, this is my wife, also a Sakura."
"Tis a rare name after all," the older woman joked and all present laughed or chuckled.
"This is—"
"Whatever old man; bye bye," the young woman dismissed them and actually left.
"Tomo-chan; her name is Tomo-chan. This esteemed elder over here is none other than Katsuya-san," the old man smiled in greeting "and this is Sano."
"Pleased to meet you all," Tokio gracefully bowed, doing that thing where she exposed her neck and Saitou hated.
It made him feel vulnerable somehow—not to mention it was also a tell she was of another class that she claimed. Simple people could tell those things—such refined manners were an oddity. And it made absolute sense. They had much more important and pressing matters to attend to, or teach the women, than how to bow nicely and how to hold their hands for maximum grace. They needed to make sure the women knew how to work the fields, how to make clothes, how to braid straw hats and geta; those were important. And he could tell her delicate moves seemed a little foreign to these people, as Shino seemed too surprised, along with his wife.
"They must be breeding you different in the capital, even you maids; look at that nice bow she just made!"
Oh no; she could feel Hajime's eyes on her and knew he would complain about it again. "Our employer is indeed a rich man...even as a maid, I have to meet certain standards, so they taught me these things when I started working for them," she excused herself, shy.
"Well, it makes sense; those rich people at the capital can be very particular. Anyway, I have to go, but let my wife take you to your temporary home, why don't you? She'll show you some important locations of ours, too."
"Of course," Saitou was quick to agree; the less he fought them, the sooner they'd be left alone and he could leave.
"I'm coming with you," Sano immediately volunteered, suspicions never fading "no need to walk back on your own."
The older woman laughed, while her husband muttered a "suit yourself, boy" and bid them goodbye, as the old man took his leave, too. "It's not that big of a distance, Sano."
"It don't matter," he'd insisted and much like her husband, the woman shrugged in a "suit yourself" kind of way.
Thus, all four started walking to the designated house...that was conveniently placed at the furthermost part of the village, on the top of a small hill, giving it the best vantage point from all directions. It was small indeed, but it offered great cover, if one wanted to sneak about from the side that looked away from the village. Not that his short departure would be a secret, no; the cover for that was that he needed to run an errand for his lord—one of the reasons the man decided to finance some of their journey, but especially this part. Having someone taken advantage of, made things more believable.
And it was that they told the woman and the man during their short walk—barely fifteen minutes from one side to the village to the other. When they were left alone, Tokio started giggling.
"Did you see Sano-san's face? He grew both more and less suspicious at the same time, as soon as you mentioned you were leaving."
He shrugged. "The man is paranoid; but sometimes, just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean you're wrong. Although, us two don't want to harm anyone; we do keep secrets though."
She sighed. "I know...I wish you didn't have to go."
She had a very vulnerable expression on her face, just as he had finished putting their things on the floor. They weren't many, but he still wouldn't allow Tokio to carry the two bags. He turned to look at her, sensing her honesty but also noting her complaint. She would say nothing further until he acknowledged her, though, because she kept staring sadly at him. He offered his hand; when she took it, he brought her closer.
"It's imperative that I go."
"I don't want you to."
"I don't want to either; but what can I do?"
His answer seemed to satisfy her, because she rested her head on his chest, sighing, but it was different from before; it savoured a little of relief, maybe satisfaction. "I believe if I hadn't agreed to this, Hijikata wouldn't allow me to be your guard on the first place. He felt it was too indecent, coupled with his fear I might run away."
"Now? That what we want has an actual chance of being realised? What an idiot."
"Okay, maybe he feared more things than that; but anyway."
She giggled again. "Like what? That you might seduce me? I think the chances of the opposite happening are much more probable."
"...agreed."
"Ah! Hajime!"
She smacked his shoulder but his chuckle, matching hers, indicated he was messing with her...or at least she hoped.
"Mmmm, I wish you didn't have to go. At least stay for lunch."
He seemed to consider her offer. "...why not? I can get where I need to in less than eight hours; let's eat together."
That's all she needed to hear; overjoyed, she bounced all the way to the area of the kitchen, the only area that was clearly separated from the rest, that was more of a all-in-one-room type of house. So, she cooked with whatever provisions the nice couple had left for them – rice and vegetables – but not before sending Hajime to fetch water. She noticed, in his absence, there was sake there, too but decided to pour just a little bit into the rice rather than drink any with him, for she feared she would try to get him drunk thus keep him there for an additional day, but that would only delay him so she refrained. It was tempting though.
After their humble lunch, he kissed the top of her head and headed out. She had to stop him twice. Once to make sure he had taken everything he needed with him; the second time, just to kiss him farewell. The third time he stopped on his own and promised her he'd be back before she even realised he was gone...and to get her to promise him she'd leave if by some odd chance he didn't make it.
She never promised; only stood at the door, watching him go, with longing. One day, they would honestly be married and she'd watch her husband go with concern. One day; this day, it was make-believe...but just as worrying and bitter. With a sigh, at least ten minutes after he disappeared from her sight, she turned around and walked inside, trying to tend to her duties.
Like she always did. And the next day was no different, nor the next, or the day after tomorrow; all of the days that followed, in fact, she played her part, excluding the fact she never did as Hajime asked of her, when the three days were up and he didn't show but she didn't leave. Then, after five days, with her growing concern for Hajime, came the growing burden of responsibility, too namely the fact she had to do something constructive to give back to the community. Yes, the man, Shino, had claimed Hijikata had paid enough for a whole month, but she couldn't just stay there, doing nothing, it didn't sit right with her. Also, she couldn't sit still, either, so doing something, anything, helped.
For instance, people's laundry; then, helping in the fields; then, tending to the sick.
It was no later than two weeks that she had established herself as the village's healer. Everyone would knock on her door to ask for either her opinion or her help. Being away from the capital, people bought her story of not being educated, but just "good with these things" after getting some practice at the lord's house that she "served" under. In fact, she went so far as to claim, this wasn't her expertise, not really—it was an old maid who knew how to do these things and she just tried to remember what that old maid did when faced with a similar situation—so, "Sakura's" memory was her true strength, not her knowledge.
For what was worth, they seemed to believe it, or, at the very least, go along with it. After all, they could all see how worried and sad she was and how increasingly aloof she became the more time passed and her husband wouldn't show. All, bless their hearts, did their best to cheer her up. Some brought food; others drink. Others brought company and others music and ever since she came to the village, they would have a small get together every week, all thanks to her they would say, and her moods. And her orders.
Well, she was a great host and organizer, too so none complained she got a little bossy, for, in the end, everyone got what they wanted: a good party, merry-making with friends and neighbours and she would get her mind off of Hajime for at least an hour.
But as soon as the door closed behind her, and she was left all alone in the what now felt huge home, the thought of him returned, and so did her frown. Just the thought of him helpless in the wild or in enemy territory—she hated it. She had to physically shake her head and close her eyes to make it go away and lately, damn them, they didn't, not so fast. All she could think of was him; all she could remember lately was his feverish state a year ago and—no. She didn't want to go down that path.
He was well; he was in hiding. He had simply been compromised, not hurt...or worse. But then, if not, then why didn't he...?
Ugh, no; stop. Don't do that to yourself, she'd try to talk herself out of the negativity, but it didn't always work. Especially not when an entire month passed by and he had yet to appear. He did say he was supposed to come back here, after all—he wouldn't just forget. That meant, he was held up. And that only spelled out trouble. Oh how she wished she'd close her eyes and when she opened them again, he'd magically be there! By her side. Or, she was willing to compromise, at least she'd be able to see through his eyes and find out how he was doing and exactly where he was.
But that never happened.
And now, what felt like eons later, she had reached pique desperate, grasping at straws from information she gathered from those who returned to the village for any sightings of him. But there were never any—it was like he disappeared. But he couldn't have...could he? What if he...? No. No, no; no. He was alive—maybe not all that well, but alive. Alive damn it!
Alive...
"Sakura-chan, Sakura-chan! Open up! Miko hurt her ankle. We need you to dress it..."
When they saw knocking didn't work, they started shouting, to state their reason for their visit; it wasn't early, per se, but they knew that "Sakura" was available after eight; right this moment, it was almost nine, yet she still didn't feel like engaging anyone. But when they made it so irrevocably clear it was a medical emergency, her ethics did not allow her to keep the door closed, no matter how much she wanted to leave the world outside and wallow in self-pity inside. Sighing silently, she grabbed the small medicinal box she had managed to procure and equip here and opened the door with as much of a smile as she could muster.
"Good morning Hina-san; let's go."
Thus her morning was spent helping and tending to injured people. It wasn't exhausting; it wasn't all that difficult. But her spirits were at an all-time low and she would spend too much energy just for leaving the house. So, when they came knocking on her door, not half an hour after she had retired for the day, she could feel all of her strength leave her at once. She honestly felt her arms and legs grow heavier as she made the effort to stand and then pull the door open. But when she faced the two people there, she found her lips becoming a little lighter and the smile was real.
"Ah, Shino-san, Sakura-san; welcome back. Please come in, tell me all about your son's—"
"No time, Sakura-chan!" the middle-aged woman cut her off, barely able to contain her excitement. Then, she grabbed Tokio's hands and squeezed. "We came straight here to tell you, we saw Jirou-san! He was coming back here, on foot!"
Tokio had to blink twice; once because the name took her by surprise but then because she realised. They saw Hajime; he was back! Her chest swelled and her entire posture changed; her heartbeat quickened. Suddenly, her feet were light.
"Where did you ran into him? Is he close by? Was he well?"
"He didn't let us pick him up—" Shino started to complain, but his wife cut him off again immediately, knowing what Tokio really cared about.
"He was just outside the village! He looked well, at least from a distance. He must be ten minutes away—"
They blinked and she was gone.
She charged past them at an incredible speed; she felt like she had grown wings on her feet as she ran breathless out on the paths of the village and took the most beaten one, in hopes, since he was walking out in the open, he'd take that one, too. All decorum cast aside, she was taking big and quick strides, hoping to catch a glimpse of him as she went.
And then, she did.
Her heart stopped; her cheeks became even redder. Her hair fell forward and then became loose from her sudden stop, falling behind her. "Haji—"
She stopped herself from speaking the name fully, but it didn't matter—he had heard and saw her and was currently redirecting himself to walk towards her.
"Oh Buddha, you're back!"
She pivoted and ran. He never increased his speed – ringing a little alarm bell in her head at the back of her mind, but she promised not to let it sour the moment – but he opened his arms wide open. "You're back, you're finally back. Oh, I was so worried."
She jumped into his arms and he squeezed her...as much as he could, because she noticed he was weaker than usual. She had suspected as such, so she didn't ram him down, and then tried to balance herself on her own without leaning too much into him. "I was so, so worried; I love you so much, you're back."
"I'm back," was all he said and simply held her there, drinking her in—her scent, her image, the feel of her. "I'm finally back..."
"How are you? You look well but you're so pale, you've lost blood. And you're limping. Let's go home right now! I'm going to take care of you."
"No, Tokio," he spoke in a very low voice "we need to leave right now. As happy as I am to see you, I am equally angry, because you didn't listen and now everyone must be worried sick about you; they may be looking for you, too."
"Hajime," she spoke his name in a lethal whisper "you are not making the journey to Aizu like this. I saw your limping," she repeated through gritted teeth. "We're going up to our safe house and I'm going to take care of you, whether you like it or not."
When he tried to protest again, she jabbed him at the gut, where she was sure she saw him leaning towards, and she was right, too, because he almost doubled over. "We are going..."
"It'll take at least three more days," he tried to reason with her.
"Three? We'll be lucky if it takes five." From scolding to blissful in a second, she smiled from ear to ear. "But I don't care." She took his arm then, supporting him and making it look like they were just happily walking home like a couple—a shameless one, but a couple. "You're back; and you came here on your own. Today is a good day."
He said nothing. He simply appreciated her. And so radiant but focused she looked that anyone who ran into them would not stall them at all; simply wave, look excited and shout a "welcome back". Because not many people had seen him, but everyone knew who she was waiting for and that only he could put such a smile on her face.
Shino and Sakura were still by her door, waiting to see what had happened when they reappeared on the pathway. "I told you she'd find him," she quipped to her husband all pride and smarts. "There's purpose in her eyes like no other's."
"I never said she wouldn't, only that she'd take longer."
"Shino-san, Sakura-san," Hajime saluted them, trying to sound as less pained as possible "we meet again, today."
"We do! You look a little worse for wear though..." the man noted, as his limp was more pronounced.
"He tried his best to get back to his wife, so now that he's here, the exhaustion comes out!" his wife expertly reasoned and, to be honest, yes; she was one hundred per cent right. So he simply shook his head. "Which is why now that we saw you found each other, we're going to go! Would you like me to bring you some food, Sakura-chan?"
"There's no need; I'll tend to my husband first. I shall cook myself."
"As you wish. And if you need any help, don't hesitate to ask!"
"And unless there's an emergency, we won't bother you at all," Shino assured and both middle aged people took their bow and left.
"What sort of an emergency?" Hajime inquired, quite amused.
"I've been helping them, as a doctor of sorts." Before he started scolding her, she raised a flat palm to stop him. "I had to do something with myself, or I'd have gone mad."
"You should have left when I instructed you to; now who knows what everyone will think."
"I'm not mad yet," she snubbed "I wouldn't leave without you. Now let's get you to bed, yes? You need all the rest you can get."
He did not say no to that; nor did he tell her that he, in fact, had sent word to Hijikata when he had finished his assignment and that no, they didn't think the worst of them. Maybe thought of her too stubborn, but then again, they always did. But who knew when her father would receive knowledge of that and if. Ugh, he didn't care. She was there, she was taking care of him, thus his world made sense again. Closing his eyes, he got some much needed sleep as her voice droned on and on.
His eyes fluttered open at the break of dawn. There was mist around them for some moments but it didn't last too long; he quickly made out the shapes and colours all around him. Clothes carefully folded on the floor next to him. Medical supplies. The futon drawn half way up and to his left and on top of his bare chest, sleeping soundly but in a very uncomfortable position, Tokio. Her one hand by her leg, the other was still holding his hand. He smiled, relieved. So it was true. He had indeed returned. So frequently had he dreamt of it while on the run, he was worried it was all a figment of his imagination.
He felt a little guilty. After all, every time he thought of finally coming back here, to be entirely honest, she was always here, waiting for him. Even in his own mind's eye, his hopefulness, she had disobeyed Hijikata and she had stayed back for him. He was so selfish...! But to think he would come back and see what he had seen in a fever dream – or ten – was reality, it was too much. He was extraordinarily, unfathomably, happy; still a little guilty, but it was overshadowed by all other feelings. Despite her weight on his chest, he felt lighter. Deciding to sleep in today, he closed his eyes again and fell back asleep.
When he opened his eyes again, she was gone from his field of vision, but she wasn't out of earshot; he could hear her humming, all the way from the kitchen. Ah, so that's why it smelt delicious—she was cooking. Bless her, too, he was famished. Slowly, carefully, he got out of bed, only to find out he was indeed half naked. He grabbed his hitatare and simply put it over his shoulders, not bothering with his sleeves, not just because it hurt, but also because he was more comfortable.
He cracked his neck then and walked to the kitchen. There she was, just as he'd guessed, bent over the stove. Her hair were caught in a very hurried bun, hairs escaping left and right. Her sleeves were pulled up, her hand stirring a bubbling liquid. Her face was exquisitely red from the steam and her lips looked plump. His eyes grew warm. Drinking her image in, he approached from behind and wrapped his arms around her waist. She jumped – she hadn't heard him – but easily relaxed again, a huge smile taking over her face. She felt perfect against his chest, it was cozy; he could stay like that forever.
"Good morning, Hajime," she said after some time of complete silence; instead of giving any verbal acknowledgment, he simply kissed her; she shivered. He smirked. He had purposefully missed her cheek and crashed his lips on the soft part of her neck, it had looked so inviting, exposed to him as it was.
"What are you cooking?"
"Some rice porridge—for your stomach. A good breakfast to keep you until lunch. I want to make something with meat, because I bet you haven't eaten anything proper for a while now. But I want you to keep it down so not too much."
"Whatever you say," he simply gave in and just stood there with his arms around her, unmoving. To his surprise, she didn't seem to mind it, not even when she had to wiggle out of his grasp a little to add an ingredient or reach for something. He inhaled her scent greedily. "I missed you," he admitted what felt like hours later, but it was barely five minutes.
"I missed you, too. And I was so worried; I felt my heart was going to stop."
"I'm sorry for making you worry. There were complications..." He saw her eyebrow raising. "And confrontations." She sighed. "But I got away..."
"I am simply happy you came back."
Something didn't sit right with him. He let go of her and by the way he did nothing but look at her somber, it caused her to stop her cooking and turn to him, a little wondered. "But I promised you, Tokio; I will always come back to you." There was a pause. "Always."
A huge smile spread from ear to ear then and a chuckle escaped her. "And I believe I accepted to always be here to welcome you back; so how did you expect me to ever leave without you?"
Her quip took him by surprise; she could tell because he remained expressionless and quiet for a long time. Apparently, he was processing it. Her smile became even bigger, if possible, and she climbed on her tip toes to plant a sweet but fleeting kiss on his lips. "It's a mutual promise; don't ever expect me not to keep it. We're in this together."
Oh man; she defeated him. That was it. In that moment, he knew, he would never refuse her again. "...I love you," was all he could say.
"I love you, too. Now go lie down and I'll come look at your injuries. I don't want you to burden your leg any more than you have to. Though, if I play my cards right, I think I can persuade Shino-san to give me at least one horse—maybe two, if we're lucky."
He was about to leave, but stopped to ask "How?"
"I'm already doing odd jobs around here and help as a healer; but our food and board has already been provided, yes? Thus all the rest was unpaid labour, technically. So, if I do a little more and make a couple of people some favours, I think we have one horse guaranteed."
He didn't like the sound of "favours". "Like what?"
She considered. "Hoshi has been begging me to give him a proper examination" Hoshi? "but I've kept refusing; now you're here, it's no problem. Also, Nana-chan wants a perfume." Tokio giggled as she took him by the hand and led him to the futon. "I might let slip I made one for a bride once and how well it worked so now she's been begging me to brew one for her, too."
"...who's Hoshi and how did the perfume work? Is it the one you gave to Ayame's brother's bride?"
"The very same; and Hoshi is an overworked farmer who I think has been trying to court me, hence me refusing, but now you're back" she kissed him fleetingly as he settled down "I don't have to worry."
It was ridiculous how quick he was to anger and become protective of her. "Why not?" Maybe a little jealous, too.
"Because, you'll be here." She sighed. "Yes, he is overworked. Yes, he needs it. But I had a feeling that was not the sole reason he was asking." She looked superior. "If his motives were pure, I'd have indulged."
"...I don't want you anywhere near him, anyway; if not giving in means only one horse, so be it. I can always walk."
She laughed. "Honey, your ankle is the biggest issue; and that wound between the ribs—thankfully it missed anything vital. But we still mustn't aggravate it; thus, if we manage to get at least one horse, we can leave sooner than a week."
"Then give this Nana person her perfume and that'd be all. We can always start saving some money to pay for the other horse, too if having two is imperative. Just stay away from Hoshi, whoever he is."
She looked at him for a long second; she wasn't annoyed, but she was studying him intently. "I see you are quite absolute about this." He nodded mutely. "Then I shall do as you ask. I don't want us to argue." She pecked his lips again and stood. "I'll bring our breakfast; once we eat, I'll look at you and go speak with Nana-chan."
Satisfied, he merely watched her go.
The day went by quickly but...quite tediously. There was nothing for him to do, at all. He was not allowed to walk, only to go to the bathroom, and all he did was watch outside the window, eat and get looked at by Tokio, who was, in total, barely two hours there, at least until supper. Once the sun set, she was there, keeping him company and making sure he was warm and comfortable. She had started on the perfume, too, so he supposed Nana was more than excited for the perfume. He still didn't know why that thing was so sought after by all women—what did it do? She wouldn't tell him, too. Strangely enough, she was making it outside, so he couldn't even smell it. Oh well.
That night, Tokio was bolder than usual. When the time for her to sleep came, she actually asked him to move a little, so she could cover herself a little, too, at least her back, for she was going to spend the night by his side again.
He protested; she waved him away. She had jabbed him on the healing wound when he tried to stand, so he refrained, but did glare. "If it makes you feel any better, there's no alternative. They only have this one futon here—we're supposed to be married, remember? And I won't be sleeping sitting up—and definitely not you, where do you think you're going?"
She prepared her fingers for another jab as he moved, so he stopped, once more. "It's either this or I'll actually have to lie next to you, but I thought you'd get a heart-attack if I tried to, so I decided to spare you."
His lopsided grin was quick to emerge. "Not me; Hijikata."
Huh... "Well, what he doesn't know, can't hurt him, right?"
"Tokio..."
His tone held warning, but she simply shrugged. "I don't care. I'm cold, you're hurt and I haven't seen you for a month. If I want to sleep next to you, I will. What is so scandalous about it? I won't make any advances towards you, I promise."
"Are you serious?"
She nodded. He considered; he didn't how much he believed her, because there was no way she could help herself, she had no self-control. And maybe for now he was "safe" but in three nights from now, it would be a problem. Not to mention, he didn't know if he could behave himself. But it was too late; the three seconds it took him to doubt, she had already burrowed next to him. She had the decency, at least, to lie on her side, facing him.
"See? The world didn't end..."
"Idiot."
No, it didn't. But now, how did she expect him to walk away from here and not feel like something was missing from his life, every single time he lay down to sleep, when he had experienced how warm it felt to sleep with her next to him? It was as if suddenly the futon was softer and his heart became quiet. His entire body relaxed and he could feel hers, too, as his hand found the curve of her middle, staying as respectfully away as he could from her hip. He could hear her breath; feel it on his chest. Her eyes were closed, but she was not asleep; her smile was soft and appreciative.
"Mmm, it's very cozy." He grunted in reply, watching her closely. "I wish every night was like this, from now on." He grunted a little louder; she chuckled. "I wish we didn't have to be hiding out here, pretending to be married; I wish we had our own home, even if it was smaller, where we wouldn't have to pretend."
"...me, too."
"I love you very much."
"Me, too."
"And no matter how long I have to wait for you, I promise I will; even a life time. But only because you promised you'll always come back to me."
"I did; and I will. But that's not what you're trying to say...is it?"
She finally opened her eyes, to take a proper look at him. Now her smile mirrored his. "How astute of you." There was a pause. "What I'm trying to say is, even if my father never approves of our marriage, I don't care. I will wait for you. No matter how long, I will wait for you. Even if it's improper or frowned upon. I don't want anyone else."
He chuckled. "There's always eloping, if it comes to that."
She laughed. "Hijikata would murder me."
"Not after the fact; only if he found out before." Her laughter only became louder. "So, just make sure he doesn't know."
"It's..." she tried to catch her breath. "it's not me he sees every day, so you are the one who should be careful, sir."
"I'm hard to read."
"Unless it's Okita."
"That was a low blow."
She chuckled one final time. "Let's just...sleep. I'm very tired. Goodnight Hajime."
"Goodnight Tokio."
A/N: I love you all; I'm sorry for the wait, again. Hope you had great fun, my lovelies. Leave a review on your way out and/or a message in my inbox. I actually see the end of this epic approaching, be prepared for some timeskips in later chapters, plus I believe I will be more motivated to write, since I do see the end of the line.
Hugs and kisses,
FAI~!