Chapter 7: A Mad Turntable Party
Gordon puffed on, thinking about how mad the next engine could be. Given how everyone else had been acting, they were probably very mad.
The big blue engine spotted fairy lights and also heard music in the distance. Gordon's most logical conclusion was a party being held. He was correct, and being at a closer position, he could also hear who Gordon was going to encounter next.
"Of course, it had to be Thomas," Gordon grumbled, "And the old tram, Toby."
Nonetheless, he decided to enter the scene. A scene that was set in a gigantic building - shaped like a top hat - that looked like a child had hazardly stacked multiple models of Tidmouth sheds on top of each other.
There was only one entrance to this hive-like shed. Gordon chuffed through the gates, spotting Thomas and Toby on the third floor, carolling to some tune about an 'unbirthday'.
Thomas has had certainly changed in appearance. His paintwork was covered with specks of paint, a bow tie on his buffer and his funnel was somehow disguised as a top hat, more colourful than the Fat Controller's infamous one.
Toby's paintwork was in a similar fashion to Thomas', the one exception being the wonky, ragged rabbit ears on top of his roof instead of a hat.
"A merry Unbirthday to us all!" toasted Thomas, "And to all a good bite!"
"Bite of toast with jam or marmalade?" added Toby, who seemed to have confused the speech for a slice of bread.
"We're steam engines, we can't eat." deadpanned Gordon, who also seemed to take Thomas' toast literally.
When Thomas and Toby noticed the blue engine, they went down to the ground floor in an absurd fashion. They reversed into the berths they were in, then popping out of random berths until they reached the bottom. "No room! No room!" they cried.
"Nonsense!" pouted Gordon, "There's more than enough room here!" In defiance, Gordon moved onto the turntable, which in turn sprang up to the very top, where there were no berths at all! The giant tophat had no top at all!
"I already flew in the sky and grew to the size of a giant! Must the concept of suddenly changing into bizarre heights still have to mock me?!" cried the blue engine.
The turn-table then collapsed down, back on the ground floor where Gordon felt safe - for the moment at least- and where Thomas and Toby rested in berths in front of him.
"Of course there's plenty of room," explained the tram, "But there are no berths at the top, no room there! The turn-table has gone a tad mad-" ''But everything is mad here!" added the E2.
"The two mad engines." mumbled Gordon.
"The Mad Tank Engine and the Mad Tram, to be exact." proclaimed the Mad Tank Engine.
'Thomas was already a pain as a normal small tank engine,' Gordon thought to himself, 'a Mad Thomas is something I don't even want to think about… and a Mad Toby isn't any better.'
"Anyway, I'm Gordon-" "The Mad Tender Engine?" The two mad engines interrupted rather eagerly.
"It's actually 'Gordon the Big Engine'," He corrected, "But for now, let's just stick with 'Gordon'."
"Such a shame there isn't another mad engine." The Mad Tram lamented.
"But I do remember being told that there were three coaches as well," Gordon suddenly pondered out loud, "Where are those coaches by the way?"
The Mad Tram backed into the berth he was currently in then popped out of the berth, next to the Mad Tank Engine's left, with Henrietta behind him. Henrietta had mouse ears, but unlike the Mad Tram - who was full with energy - she seemed to be very sleep deprived.
"Hello there…I'm… the Dor-coach..." Dor-coach yawned, struggling to keep her eyes open.
"Annabelle and Clara are out on a siding nearby." Explained the Mad Tank Engine.
"Don't you mean Annie and Clarabelle?" asked a confused Gordon.
"No, I meant Annabelle and Clara, you know," affirmed the Mad Tank Engine, "Clara's the one who keeps staring at the sky for stars and Annabelle's the coach filled with dolls."
"In fact, Mad Tank Engine, I did not know." replied Gordon the certainly-not-mad engine.
Gordon decided to back into a berth next to Mad Toby - since it would be degrading in his opinion for the engine to be next to the Mad Tank Engine - only for the E2 to appear next to his berth, leaving Gordon in the middle.
"Why is a raven like a writing desk?" asked the Mad Tank Engine.
"That's quite a random thing to ask." Gordon remarked with cynicism.
"It was quite random of you to back into a berth without asking or being invited." The Mad Tram contradicted.
"How was I supposed to know that all of these berths were yours? There's enough to hold an entire railway in here!" Gordon had a sharp tongue when it came to rude comments, however, he was hypocritical enough that he agreed engines shouldn't be making such personal remarks, which scored him one too many embarrassing accidents when karma had bitten him back.
"It was a riddle anyway." said the Mad Tank Engine, who pouted grumpily at Gordon.
'A riddle? Quite a ridiculous riddle.' thought Gordon,
"Why is a raven like a writing desk?" The drowsy Dor-coach repeated the question.
"Do you think you can find the answer to that?" The Mad Tram's question was directed at Gordon.
"I believe I can. Every puzzle has an answer, it's only a matter of knowing what that answer is," He answered when a possible solution flew into his funnel, "The reason why a raven is like a writing desk is-" "New berth! Move up! Move up!"
The Mad Tank Engine puffed onto the turntable which turned before carrying him to the next level above, where he settled into a new berth. Followed the Mad Tram and Dor-coach, although Gordon found it surprising that the turntable had enough room for both the tram and the coach.
"C'mon up Gordon!" called the Mad Tank Engine. The guest engine hesitantly puffed onto the turntable due to his last encounter with it. Luckily for Gordon, it had been a slow but smooth ride as he settled into another berth.
"Why did you just change berths?" asked Gordon, who seemingly forgot about the riddle.
"It's always 'return to the berths to rest' o'clock for me." answered the Mad Tank Engine.
"Why's that?" "You see, Gordon," the E2 began his story, "There was a party to celebrate the Red King's new livery design, since he was quite stubborn to change, even if it was one tiny dot of paint of a different shade of red, which was actually the case."
"If I remember," Gordon recounted what the twins - who teased his temper - had said to him, "It was King James."
"Yes, it was James the Red King," the Mad Tank Engine agreed while Gordon mentally laughed at 'James the Drama King', "I was at the celebration, talking about Time, since he couldn't come due to his duties. That was before I had to go on with a speech to congratulate the Red King."
"Wait, is Time a person?" "Time is an engine, Gordon." the Mad Tram hastily replied.
"The Red King had gotten so impatient with my talk about Time," the Mad Tank Engine continued, "he hollered 'The silly Mad Tank Engine is taking too much Time!'. So I was accused of stealing from Time."
Gordon was astounded. "Did they find you guilty?" "Of course not! Besides, the Red King's right hand engine advised him not be so silly so he calmed down and didn't put me on trial… but Time, however, doesn't turn time for me anymore! He says that until I apologise for 'stealing', it'll always be the same time for me all the time! Time is quite stubborn and easy to offend."
"Is that why there are so many berths? Because you have to move into a new one every time." Gordon theoriesed.
"Indeed!" spoke the Mad Tank Engine, "Thankfully, the Mad Controller built this hat of sheds for my situation."
"Don't you mean the Fat Controller?" Gordon interrupted.
"Of course he meant the Mad Controller!" corrected the Mad Tram, "It's quite rude to call someone fat! You should know better! Although, he is a bit chubby on the side…"
"Ever since, I have not had a wink of sleep. And during this time, we'd talk about the things we've done during the day, but we've run out of things to talk about!" The Mad Tank Engine complained, "But I was mad even before that! Runs in the family!"
In a split second, the Mad Tank Engine puffed out of his current berth, with what seemed to be his family portrait, shoved it onto the turntable (which caught the massive portrait obligingly) before turning it so it would be easier for the three to view it.
It had a large golden frame - or at least Gordon thought it was gold underneath the unflattering splashes of paint - and the painting itself displayed a ridiculously large number of E2s, all in different colours, some more saturated than others. It had even surpassed the number of engines in Gordon's family of Gresley engines, and that was saying something.
"So you're saying that every engine in your family is mad?" "Yep!" Gordon found this hard to believe, some of the E2s looked perfectly sane.
"How about that engine in the corner? The one with the white livery." 'And the face of an annoyed, sleep-deprived engine.' Gordon mentally added.
"Oh. That's Timothy," The Mad Tank Engine answered in a dull tone, "he went through a bit of a … what you call it? A phase. This was when Timothy was still going through his supernatural obsession, but I guess we can just say it was a goth phase. The last time I saw him, he was doing some weird ritual at a viaduct...
"Oh well! At least he's mad in his own way!" The Mad Tank Engine's cheery attitude did not help settle the rising concern in Gordon's boiler. 'So neither sanity nor reason run in his family. How reassuring.' Gordon sarcastically thought to himself.
"New berth! Move up!" The Mad Tank Engine, the Mad Tram, the Dor-coach and Gordon moved up another level, settling into new berths.
"He wasn't kidding when he said that you were mad." Gordon accidentally mentioned aloud.
"Who said we were mad?" said the Mad Tram, who had little interest nor consideration.
"The Bicker-Owl-" "Owl?!" the Dor-coach seemingly had gotten loose from the Mad Tram's coupling and began to zoom around the sheds on her own in a state of paranoia.
The Mad Tram gave chase, fear and worriedness painted on his face for the once-sleepy coach. The Mad Tank Engine also went after the Dor-coach, leaving Gordon in confusion.
The trio teleported in and out of berths and the turn-table worked away lifting and turning at an absurd pace. Both of the mad engines were hollering directions, strategies and occasionally a random thought about treacle as they tried to end the wild Dor-coach chase. It was even wilder than a goose chase! Well, inGordon's opinion anyway.
After a crazy and high-speed race - so fast that Gordon swore he felt dizzy just watching - the Mad Tank Engine and Tram trapped the Dor-coach at last. With her being coupled to the Mad Tram, her sleepy self returned. Both of the mad engines puffed back to the berths that they were in previously.
"What's her problem?" Gordon whispered to the Mad Tank Engine.
"She goes mad when anyone says… O-W-L." "Ow- I mean 'how?'.. No, I meant 'why?'!" stuttered Gordon, who stopped himself from saying the O word which would be a catalyst for another Dor-coach chase.
"Her sister… got snatched up by one." The Mad Tank Engine answered somberly, which seemed quite out of character, even for this world's version of Thomas.
'Oh dear, a foul end by a … wait a minute, an owl isn't a fowl!' thought Gordon.
"Is it anything related to-" "The feathered creature from Bickers-town?" The Mad Tram interrupted, "Well, no. I've met him and he's actually rather nice. It was a different one."
'Good, otherwise I can't see that green owl nor his nature-loving counterpart the same way again!' Gordon mentally commented, 'Although, I don't recall the Bicker-owl to be from Bickers-town… The name's painfully obvious so I'll spare what remains of my dignity by accepting that fact and not to ask about it… why does that place sound so familiar?'
"Why is a raven like a writing desk?" murmured the Dor-coach. "Have you found the answer Gordon?" asked the Mad Tram.
"After all this chaos," concluded Gordon, "I'm afraid I've forgotten what my answer was! Surely one of you know it."
"Of course we don't know the answer!" replied the Mad Tank Engine, "If we knew, why would we ask in the first place? We ask it because it's the only thing left to talk about here!"
"Oh bother! What a waste of time!" fumed Gordon. "We have all the time in the world, given our situation!" reminded the Mad Tram.
"Right," said Gordon the who-might-be-a-tad-mad engine, "it's always the time to return to your sheds for you lot."
"What time?! I'm out of time!" a familiar voice rang out as the hasty rabbit, Percy, puffed in onto the turntable and popped in and out of berths.
"Ah, Percy Rabbit!" greeted the Mad Tank Engine, "There's always time here, come join us!"
"Sorry Mad Tank Engine, I'm afraid that I'm always late, I have to catch up with Time," The saddle-tank finally found the exit out of the hat of sheds and chuffed away, "Goodbye! I'm late, I must hurry away!"
"Percy! Wait up!" Gordon called out as he puffed onto the turntable.
"No room! No room-" "For the last time, there is-" Gordon's own protest was cut short when the turntable sprang up to the top once again. "No room at the top…" He deadpanned before seeing the path where Percy was racing down on. When he was lowered to ground level at last, Gordon raced out to find Percy. Alas, the tender engine was too late and missed Percy yet again.
"How wonderful! That blasted little engine got away again!" Gordon muttered angrily. If it weren't for the Duck, he'd be shrinking.
He could hear the Mad Tank Engine and the Mad Tram caroling again in the distance. "I have had enough of their madness." Gordon spat as he decided to move on.
He did like the idea of not needing tracks. Once Gordon mastered the ability, it became more convenient to move around. The downside is that Gordon was used to relying on tracks, his memory or some sort of path to guide him. After some time, he realised that he had neither of those things to find his way.
Gordon felt like such a silly engine indeed. He chased Percy only to complain like a foolish engine and got lost in this bizarre place and put through trials and tribulations of madness and nonsense.
"If I hadn't followed Percy here, I wouldn't be in this mess." sulked Gordon.
"Who?"
"Me. I'm the one who followed him." He replied
"Who?"
"A green tank engine with rabbit ears, a tail, and a pocket watch."
"Who?"
"Percy, I just mentioned him."
"Who?"
"A green tank engine with rabbit ears, a tail, and a pocket watch, you didn't pay attention. I'm having a conversation with you and you barely paid attention." Gordon had enough of this little banter. He couldn't have a moment to scold himself in peace!
"Who?"
"I'm talking to you!"
Whoever thought mocking Gordon in his time of defeat must have had a lot of nerve.
"Why didn't you say so?" A green owl appeared out of the dark, surprising the engine. "Pardon the confusion, I was speaking in 'Owl Dialect', I normally talk to myself and other thoughts. What seems to be the matter?"
It was only the Bicker-Owl, sitting on a branch next to the blue engine. But that realisation didn't give Gordon any relief.
"Other than chasing after some 'rabbit' and getting lost in here, everyone and everything here is all mad! Nothing makes sense in this world, and I'm the most sensible engine back on Sodor! I'm a Gordon after all! I wouldn't be a Thomas or a James or a Percy and certainly not a Henry."
"Well then, I'd rather not be a Gordon, I'd rather be a Henry." replied the Bicker-Owl
"Why not?! Being a Gordon is a grand life back on Sodor!" Gordon retaliated
"Not if you're living in Wonderland, where no place called 'Sodor' exists. It sounds like being a Gordon in Wonderland is a dreadful experience indeed, from your words of course. And I myself live in Wonderland. I suppose the 'Henry' that you say would be 'odd' in 'Sodor' would be fitting in Wonderland quite well, or at least fitting in better than a big engine like you. Simple logic really."
Gordon was stunned. When the Bicker-Owl explained it, it all made sense, making Gordon feeling even more foolish than he did before.
"Well, then I'd like to leave this 'Wonderland'," pouted Gordon, "There's nothing wonderful about this place anyway."
"What about Percy Rabbit? You've been chasing him this entire time, were you not?" "Who cares! I'd like to go home!" grunted Gordon, although it was more of a whine than a grunt.
"I can tell you where to find Percy Rabbit, and he'll be able to get you home depending on the circumstances." answered the Bicker-Owl, who either teleported to the branch above him or moved without Gordon noticing. It's not like Gordon cared about that anymore.
"He can?" "Of course," said the Bicker-Owl, "If he's what got you to Wonderland, Percy Rabbit can surely get you out of it. But you'll need to hurry. The quicker you find him, the quicker you can get home."
At last, there was some hope for the blue tender engine. "Well, which path should I take this time to find Percy?"
"Some go this way, and some go that way," the Bicker-Owl flapped its wings as it flew through the vegetation mimicking Ballahoo tunnel, with Gordon hesitantly following him, "But I personally recommend this short-cut."
When Gordon emerged out of the forest, an enormous castle out of cards from a game humans would play - even though Gordon didn't understand said game very well - standing grandly in the distance with a hedge maze surrounding the monument.
"You go ahead, this is not my territory." The Bicker-Owl disappeared but Gordon couldn't care less. He puffed forward in hopes of finding this 'Percy Rabbit'.
Author's Note:
Sorry for mucking up 'an update per month' thing but school has been hectic and I have been focusing on my studies more. Doesn't help with exams coming up. Hopefully this long chapter will suffice.
To HunterCreeper712:
I'm glad that you like it so far! I was considering to make Bill and Ben Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, but I'm trying to make the cast as diverse as possible with some TTTE characters having surprising but reasonable roles and some obvious ones. I'm trying my best to pull them off either way!