Chapter 8: The King's Shunting Yard:
"Finally! Out of that cursed maze at last!" Gordon had spent the past hour - or longer if you agree with Gordon's estimation - finding his way out of the maze. The total length Gordon travelled in that maze was probably a few Crankys long, give or take.
The Express engine found himself in a garden where white roses blossomed, almost engulfing his sight. "I had assumed that James would like them to be red," pondered Gordon, "Well, maybe he has become more flexible with other colours than when the Mad Tank Engine visited him last."
As he chuffed his way through, Gordon noticed that the white roses gradually became red; and by red, he meant that someone hastily did a poor job of slobbering over the poor flowers with what appears to be red paint. None of them had dried yet, judging by the shine and the drips of crimson liquid.
"What are we going to do?!" "Just keep painting them! The sooner, the better!" "That's right!"
'Wait a minute, those voices sound familiar. Especially that last one.' Gordon had the suspicion of three certain locos who were supposedly behind the poorly painted roses.
He was proven correct when he saw that it was indeed Bash, Dash and Ferdinand - the logging locos of Misty Island: however, they were painted white and black with a similar dainty design to Percy, except they were Spades and numbered two, five and seven respectively.
"What in the world are you three doing?!" huffed Gordon, who could clearly see what the trio were doing, but not the reason behind it.
"You see, the seeds got a little mixed up so we accidentally planted white roses instead of red." explained the Two (Bash) of Spades.
"The Red King of Hearts would be furious if he found out," added the Five (Dash) of Spades, "So we're painting the roses red to cover up the mix up! Everyone knows that the Red King of Hearts only adores the colour red and red only. That's why he ordered us to plant red roses,"
"That's right!" spoke the Seven (Ferdinand) of Spades.
'Why am I not surprised?' thought Gordon.
All of a sudden, trumpets played loudly, a fair distance away. A red carpet rolled towards Gordon and the three Spades. Even more cards, Clubs, marched down alongside the carpet and halted no further than the velvet material. Percy Rabbit scurried to the front and bumped into the card who played the trumpet, ending the alarm quite awfully.
"Announcing his royal highness, James the Red King of Hearts!" Percy Rabbit proclaimed with a light quake in his voice. Yet, James himself hadn't appeared.
"And the Queen of Hearts!" Percy added to end the awkward silence.
"Counselor of Hearts, actually!" an engine puffed his way around to stand next to Percy. Gordon had to squint at this newcomer to recognise that it was Edward! To be fair, it's incredibly hard to tell with all that red and black livery design, there was barely any blue for Gordon to notice!
Gordon knew about the types of cards, his crew had talked about this game during their breaks, usually in reference to having a good or bad hands from game night with their co-workers. He knew that there was a King, a Queen and a Jack but never a Counselor in the deck.
"Sorry Percy, I really am but the King is taking a bit longer than we thought. He's still posing on the carpet somewhere in the middle of it." whispered Edward, the Counselor of Hearts.
"I thought you already told him it's not a catwalk!" Percy whispered back but in a forcedly hushed and annoyed tone.
"He had cut me off before I could-" "Here's King James!"
The royal red tender engine had finally arrived at the end of the carpet. James, the Red King of Hearts strolled his way down while eyeing the white roses that have yet to be painted.
"White roses?" the King of Hearts grimaced. Gordon saw his face going red which was the first the blue engine saw James' temperament on its horrid side.
"Off-" "Wait a minute your majesty!" interrupted the 'Counselor' of Hearts.
"What? These buffoons who dare call themselves gardeners planted white roses instead of the red ones!"
The gardeners in question quaked in fear, but have no choice but to face the sentence.
"Ah yes! The gardeners had a change of plans! White roses make your lovely red livery stand out more, don't you agree?" bluffed the Counselor of Hearts.
"As much as I hate any other colour than red," the King of Hearts mumbled, "You're right! These white roses do bring out my paintwork!"
The Two, Five and Seven of Spades looked like they had their hearts in their mouths, which was odd to Gordon since they were Spades, not Hearts.
Gordon sighed in relief, for once James' vanity had one positive thing to say about it.
However, when the King of Hearts looked ahead and saw the dripping red roses, his satisfied grin turned into a grouchy frown. He puffed closer to the crime scene, where the buckets of paint had its contents splattered on the grass and where the brushes were discarded hazardly.
Once he had gathered the evidence - obviously didn't literally gather them since he doesn't want to ruin his livery - the King of Hearts reversed back onto the carpet with a seemingly reserved and calm expression.
"Who's been painting my roses red?!" hollered the furious King of Hearts.
'Should've seen this coming.' thought Gordon, who saw Edward's disappointed face, despite his efforts to save the three cards of Spades.
"Who dares to waste the royal paint on the garden bed?!" roared the King of Hearts, "The royal paint is reserved myself only!"
'That's what he's mad about?!' James' anger was even worse than Gordon had imagined.
"Off to the scrapyard with you three!" Declared the King of Hearts. But even before the cards of Clubs could take a step, the three convicted cards had rushed off straight through the maze, leaving holes in the hedges. The guards had to hop through the gaps to catch up, with one card occasionally tripping.
"Why didn't I do that earlier?" pondered Gordon, who was still upset about the time that he had lost in the maze. It occurred to Gordon that he was quite a stickler for the rules. Well, the rules that Gordon was fine with to be specific.
The King of Hearts finally noticed Gordon as if being the only blue engine present wasn't enough to stand out. The royal tender engine took a long look at him, judging Gordon with some disgust. The same look that James would make when he had any task that involved dirtying his livery.
The sentence he gave out was quite a serious punishment, Gordon feared being condemned to such a fate. After all, he was one of the few in his family to escape said fate and that was already close enough for Gordon.
"Off," spoke the King of Hearts, "with that paintwork, it's hideous!"
"I beg your pardon?!" Gordon's fear was quickly replaced by annoyance.
"Blue's a mediocre colour," ranted the King of Hearts, "While I do like the red accents, your paintwork could use some more red!"
"I beg to differ, but you're contradicting yourself!" spouted Gordon, "I could not add 'more red' as you proclaim, if you don't allow anyone to use red paint on anyone but yourself!"
A minute of silence passed by. Percy Rabbit, the Counselor of Hearts and the guards were appalled by Gordon's objection. They couldn't tell whether the latter was brave or foolish to oppose the King of Hearts, and so did Gordon himself.
Instead of the usual tantrum, the King of Hearts chortled much to everyone else's surprise.
"You got attitude, and I oddly like that. Who are you?"
Before Gordon could answer, one of the guards who remained yelped 'Blue engine' and the King of Hearts had also sentenced the poor card to the scrapyard as well. This led to a minor goosechase in the background.
"Idiot," the King of Hearts murmured to Gordon, "What is your name, blue engine?"
"Gordon." The blue engine answered simply.
"So, Gordon," the King of Hearts went on, "Would you care to join me for a friendly game in the shunting yard?"
Judging by the Counselor of Heart's expression, this would be the first time that James decided to be civil. Nonetheless, Gordon ignored the 'play it safe' instinct.
"A shunting yard? Grand engines shouldn't be in shunting yards!"
"Ah, but it's the royal shunting yard," added the King of Hearts, "not those peasant ones you're talking about!"
"Very well." accepted Gordon. He truly wanted to talk to Percy Rabbit, who appeared to be his only way back home, but it seemed that he'd have to stay in this world of ridiculousness for a bit longer.
"Excellent! To the royal shunting yard!"
The engines were escorted to a shunting yard that was even grander than what Gordon had expected.
It was a lawn that stretched on even farther the the horizon before him along with the tracks as well.
At the end of the nearest siding was a line of troublesome trucks. 'Knowing this place,' contemplated Gordon, 'they're not going to make anything easier for me, aren't they?'
"Counselor, explain the rules to Gordon here." commanded the King of Hearts.
Edward or rather the Counselor of Hearts bumbled but managed to explain the game with one or two stutters. "O-of course, your highness. Gordon is it? Well, the aim of this game is to see how far you can biff your trucks. The most important rule is to make sure that you halt at the red line."
'Ha! It's not too complicated after all! Maybe I was being a bit of a negative nancy.' thought Gordon the former-negative-nancy engine.
As the game was being set up - much to the annoyance of an impatient King of Hearts - Gordon had a hushed chat with Percy Rabbit.
"Wasn't Victor going to be here?" Gordon whispered to Percy, since a friendly greeting was out of the question due to the rabbit being the cause why Gordon was here in the first place.
"Shh! We mustn't speak about it," Percy Rabbit looked around cautiously, "He's under sentence of the Scrapyard."
"What has he done?!" Surely, even the smallest crime meant offense to the King of Hearts.
"A very bad thing." "What was this thing?" "All I know is that it's very, very, very bad." "I thought it was just very bad." " 'Very bad' is just to shorten it since the King of Hearts hates wasting time on things other than himself."
Gordon didn't have time to argue with this logic since the guards had finally set up the troublesome trucks.
Of course, the King of Hearts took the first turn. He charged forward with the troublesome trucks - who were oddly compliant with him - and halted before reaching the line. The trucks, however, were left moving forward due to inertia - a word which Gordon did not know what it meant but it seemed right to use it - and did not come to a stop until they travelled approximately three Crankys.
"That is how it's done!" the King of Hearts boasted with pride.
Gordon was next, approaching his own line of troublesome trucks. Unlike the King's, they were snickering with smug smiles, making Gordon's boiler bubble with worry. "Don't make this hard for me." He whispered in a forceful tone. This only made things worse for Gordon.
First, the trucks had put on their brakes, making it hard for Gordon to push as well as making the latter look bad. The King of Hearts simply chortled at the sight. "Clearly a beginner." "Of course, your majesty." the Counselor of Hearts agreed hastily.
Gordon was pushing with all of his might as well as frustration. When the trucks started to get bored, they had released their brakes, sending the blue engine to fly forwards. The sudden reaction caused Gordon to break suddenly, not even close to the line. "Oh the indignity." However, the trucks were zooming across the tracks at a velocity that could surpass the King of Hearts' score. Alas, Gordon's trucks halted with their brakes and stopped before they could touch the King's trucks.
The crowd cheered at the King's victory, while Gordon pouted about how rigged this game was. Of course, he did realise it was to save their own hides from being sent to the ScrapYard. Nonetheless, he was still grouchy from 'defeat'.
"Good show Gordon but better luck next time!" The King of Hearts chortled as if Gordon was a five year-old child, and like one, Gordon grumpily left the fields as the other players began their turns. In fact, he was too angry to acknowledge the distant hollering of the King of Hearts condemning players to the ScrapYard. The usual cynical engine was too mad to comment on such a scene.
The blue tender engine rested under the shade, far from the fields where the ridiculous fiasco was occurring. To his disdain, Percy Rabbit had seemingly disappeared again. He observed something peeking out of a tree, a familiar owl from earlier.
'At least I have someone to talk to.' Gordon thought as the winged creature formed it's eyes, followed by the rest of the body.
"How are you getting on?" asked the Bicker-Owl.
"Awfully," Gordon complained, "I swear, this game is rigged! The actual game is simple and possibly enjoyable but it's those troublesome trucks and the King's gigantic ego that are making it hard for me to enjoy it!"
"I take it that you don't like the King?" "'Don't like' is quite the understatement, Bicker-Owl, there are no words to describe how much I hate him."
The Counsellor of Hearts puffed by, causing Gordon to worry for the 'Bicker-Owl'.
'Oh dear, Bicker-Owl mentioned this was not his territory, which means he must not be on good terms with the King of Hearts either.' Despite Gordon's pride - which had taken a few blows, mind you - the Bicker-Owl was one of the few creatures in Wonderland he could tolerate, if not liked.
"Bicker-Owl?" The Counsellor of Hearts spotted the creature, "Long time no see!" "Oh Counsellor of Hearts, it's so good to see you!"
Gordon was confused, how did these just talk to each other as if they're old friends?
"Sorry to intrude," spoke Gordon, "but do you two know each other?"
"Know each other? We're best friends!" The Counsellor of Hearts answered with joy.
"I thought you were unwelcome here when you said this wasn't your territory." "Indeed I am," The Bicker-Owl confessed, "but that doesn't mean I can't visit every once in a while. I mean, King James did decree that I was banned from here just because I made a small remark about him but here I am."
'Now I see what the Bicker-Owl meant by a different type of mad.' thought Gordon.
"With that aside," The Counsellor of Hearts spoke up, "Gordon, you should probably head back to the game now… the King of Hearts has already condemned a few players for missing their turns, luckily he hasn't noticed that you missed yours."
Given the situation - as well as the temper of the King - Gordon heeded the Counsellor's advice and puffed off to the Royal Shunting Yard. There, he noticed that a handful of players were missing.
"There you are Gordon," The King of Hearts grinned, unlike everyone else present, "You were going to miss your turn!"
In all honesty, Gordon had no interest in playing since that the game in question is rigged in favour of the vain King. He was going to take his turn when he saw a familiar sly Diesel - who was the Jack of Clubs - whisper something to the King of Hearts, causing James' counterpart to huff away frustrated in the direction of the Bicker-Owl. Diesel grinned smugly as he slipped away, following the King.
Gordon decided to investigate what was going on. The Bicker-Owl had apparently disappeared from the sight of the King and Diesel. The Counsellor and Gordon can clearly see that the feathered animal was levitating above the two without any effort. The dilemma appeared that by the law the King decreed, and enforced by Diesel, the Bicker-Owl was to be sent to the Scrapyard, however, the Bicker-Owl was nowhere for them to see, so the King could not condemn him.
This was amusing to Gordon for a bit, seeing how intelligent the King and Diesel were, which is not very intelligent to quote Victor from earlier.
Eventually the whole thing was resolved, which took a bit too long in Gordon's opinion. The Bicker-Owl was once again spared by how dim the King of Hearts was, well according to this version of Edward anyway.
Gordon dreaded the thought of returning to the rigged game if there was really no point in playing other than saving his life.
If only there was a timely distraction for Gordon to escape…
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
So sorry that this took about ... 5 months. Can't believe that it's been almost a year since I published the first chapter so thank you to everyone who managed to hang around! Like, seriously, I keep checking the stats on this fic for the past few months and people still read it. I thought it'd be dead but turns out I was wrong.
Again, I'd like to thank Mystarisigno/Bloopydoo for proof-reading cause I can't English for the sake of my life haha.
Until I finally get around to the next chapter, I'm open to any criticism to improve my writing.
-Morally Draconequus.