I just wanna scream and lose control
Throw my hands up and let it go
Forget about everything and run away, yeah
I just want to fall and lose myself
Laughing so hard it hurts like hell
Forget about everything and run away
Runaway—Avril Lavigne
Two days of walking has never been high on Julianne's bucket list. In fact, the only things currently on her bucket list are: Turn thirty, punch Piper, kiss Joe Jonas. As it stands, the third item will never happen, but she's holding out hope that he might somehow be transported to the Inkworld.
"I think my feet are numb," she says, frowning down at them. They're still moving at a slow shuffle, but she either can't feel them or her pains have entered a new dimension. She's also nauseous as all hell, but she's not about to take any of the peppermint leaves from Resa. "Is that a good thing?"
"We'll add it to the list of things to worry about later," Jaime says with a smile. Julianne's smile is a tad too bitter to be comforting, more a grimace than anything. The nights have grown colder and it's rained off and on since they left the camp. If she's being honest, she's regretting more and more not turning back when she'd had the chance.
Caw!
All their heads snap up and around, expecting the magpie and finding a crow instead. Its black plumage is gorgeous in the dappled light, purple and blue streaks shimmering here and there. The Strong Man answers with a call and Julianne's smile brightens somewhat.
"What the devil is that," Strong Man asks. He stops so suddenly that Julianne runs into him, her tired legs barely keeping her upright. "That's strange…." She arches a brow, following his gaze to a set of tracks that have frozen overnight. They've been following such tracks this whole time, patches of frozen footprints that seem to be stuck in time.
"What's what," Resa asks, stepping up beside them. "Are we lost?"
"No, but Snapper must be. My cousin taught me how to find the Castle in the Lake when we were children and Snapper's gone too far west to be heading there." Strong Man straightens up, turning kind eyes to Julianne and Resa. "Perhaps the two of you saw him in your land. He became one of Capricorn's men, tall and ugly."
"Flatnose?"
"Yes, that's what they called him." The Folchart women share a long look, neither of them sure what to say to that. The Flatnose they knew had been a hard man, cruel. He'd helped lock them away in Capricorn's village and he'd tried to hurt them all when he found them in that little hut after their escape. "Is he still alive?"
"No. He passed at the same time as Capricorn." Resa's careful not to mention that Mo's voice brought around his end, but Julianne doesn't think such news would make Strong Man turn around. He's loyal and far kinder than Flatnose ever thought about being. He wouldn't leave them here. "Let's keep following Snapper. Maybe we're catching up with him."
"Of course." They start moving again and they do, indeed, find Snapper and his men. They haven't even left the Bearded Forest, lying amongst brown leaves with the copper scent of blood heavy in the air. Ravens are already feasting on them, Resa letting out a gasp after she shoos them away and finds Snapper's mutilated body.
"What the hell did that?"
"A Night-Mare." Snapper is in the fetal position, almost transparent like the husk of a cicada you sometimes find clinging to trees in the summer. "They do this sometimes when they're allowed. They…. They eat their victims." The other men have been killed by something else, more like men-at-arms than a starving Night-Mare. "Jaime, what does this look like to you?"
"Like the ones who killed Snapper's men stayed to watch Snapper's end," he murmurs. His brow is deeply furrowed, full lips drawn into a frown. "That's not possible, though. They would be dead as well."
"Unless they brought the Night-Mare with them. I'm going to follow these tracks and see where the killers came from. Maybe they're still camped out and I can see who they are."
"You don't need to do that," Resa says, looking gray as she kneels to lift a dead man's hand. "You see how he's missing his thumb? Doria told me the Adderhead's new bodyguard is called Thumbling because he's known for cutting off the thumbs of his victims and making pipes out of their bones to taunt the Piper. Apparently, he's got quite the collection."
"How is Violante supposed to keep Mo safe if the Adderhead has a trained Night-Mare," Julianne asks, stumbling back against Jaime. "They just have to send the damn thing out as soon as it grows dark enough and then…." She flings her arm out toward Snapper, tears stinging her eyes. "We can't help him!" Jaime wraps her up in a hug, one hand softly stroking over her hair.
"Do you see that? The dead woman?" Julianne's vision is blurred, but she can make out the broken form of the Magpie. Mortola has lost her bird's shape, lying stiff on the ground with an arrow in her breast and black seeds stuck to her pale lips. Resa moves over and snatches a pouch from Mortola's belt, looking inside and then closing it.
"Who is that," Strong Man asks.
"Mortola, Capricorn's mother." Resa takes a step back from the corpse, leaving perfect impressions of her boots in the snow. "When I was still her maid, it was said that she had discovered a plant with seeds that could change your shape. Little Death, it was called. I always assumed it was just used as a poison, but obviously it really did help her change into a magpie."
"Perhaps you should leave those seeds here."
"Perhaps." Resa nods, but she ties them to her own belt and meets Julianne's gaze. There's a sudden calmness that's overtaken her features, a steeliness to her blue eyes that Julianne doesn't like. "We should keep moving before it gets dark." So they do. They keep moving until Julianne feels like her feet will be sore even three years after her death.
Slowly, very slowly, snow gives way to shale and shale gives way to sand as the Castle in the Lake rises up ahead of them. Resa tries to dart forward, but Strong Man yanks her back and points at the tents scattered along the shore. They're safe amongst the trees, but Resa nearly exposed them all.
"You three wait here," Strong Man whispers. "I'll try to find a way across that won't involve us being shot at with those crossbows."
"Like hell if I'm waiting here," Julianne hisses. "I've come this far and I'm getting my father and boyfriend even if it means having to whack the Silver Prince with his own immortal Book myself." Beside her, Resa's nodding her agreement.
"You two are incredibly stubborn, do you know that?"
"Yes."
"Okay, good." Strong Man and Jaime sandwich the two women between them in case shit hits the fan, carefully maneuvering along the slope near the banks. They pass several soldiers on the way, but the men are focused on the castle instead of on what's happening behind them. Julianne's pretty sure the Adder would reward whichever man happens to drag her into the camp.
The Strong Man leads them around to the eastern bank where the trees grow thickly all the way down to the water, green pines that thrive in the cold weather. One of these would make an excellent Christmas tree, Julianne thinks. If she makes it that long, she might just tell her son the story of the Grinch and a little Who named Cindy. As Julianne is trying to remember the rhyme scheme, Jaime takes her arm to stop her before she can run into Resa.
"What—"
"There," Strong Man whispers. He's pointing to a group of rocks that hang over the lake, two soldiers emerging from them as though they'd come out of the lake itself. That's not possible, though, not with the plunging temperature and the creatures that swim beneath the waves. More soldiers follow the other two, heading for the horses they'd left near a few spruce trees. "Do you suppose there's a secret way into the castle?"
"Only one way to find out," Jaime says. "You two stay here while Strong Man and I find out." Julianne's got a protest dancing on the tip of her tongue, but one glance from Jaime has it withering away. "How do you suppose Dustfinger would react if he knew you were taking unnecessary risks, Juli?"
"He'd scorch our behinds and your father would give us a couple of good punches." Not likely, but who really knows anymore? Mo and Dustfinger are so different from the men Julianne had known just a year ago. Seeing the fight dim in her, the men move slowly toward the rocks while the women remain hidden among the trees with lake water lapping at their shoes.
"This is bullshit," Julianne mutters.
"I agree," Resa says. She's got her palm pressed flat against her belly as she watches the lake, spotting faint creatures with flat faces. Julianne rubs her own belly and wonders if it's a little firmer than it had been. With all the running she's been doing, it wouldn't surprise her.
"Hey," a man shouts. "You there!" The women spin around, Julianne nearly breaking her ankle in the process. A soldier is standing behind them, sword in hand.
"Run, Juli!" Julianne doesn't hesitate, ducking and dodging as other soldiers join the first one, crossbow bolts sinking into tree trunks and soaring past her head. She doesn't notice that Resa isn't beside her at first, not until she's stumbling into the secret passage and faltering in the darkness. She can hear the men shouting, but she's not brave enough to leave her new hiding spot.
"Oh," she gasps, leaning heavily against a damp wall. "I think I'm gonna be sick." She presses a hand to her belly again, rubbing gently like she'd done when she was pregnant with Dustin. The motion is soothing and familiar, helping to calm her racing heart as she waits for the noise to die down again. When the night is quiet again, Julianne starts down the tunnel with one hand pressed to the wall. Scum covers the smooth stone and water sloshes down the walls, but she tries to ignore it as the tunnel curves faintly to the left.
It's not long before she's able to see moonlight again, a silver glow that creeps over the tunnel's floor. She doesn't run to the light, but it's a close thing, inching along with her ears straining for any sort of noise. The tunnel ends in a courtyard that's empty of people, only a few gilded cages with dull feathers in the bottoms of them. No guards are out here, so they obviously didn't think anyone else would find the secret tunnel. Julianne is still cautious as she steps out into the open, gazing around before a splash of color catches her attention. Lying beside one of the cages is Dustfinger, cheeks pale and no sparks sizzling around his head. She hurries forward, guards be damned, and kneels beside him, letting out a choked sound when his chest remains still beneath her palm.
"Not again," she says, shaking her head stubbornly. "Please, God, not again. I can't handle this."
"Good thing you don't have to, then." She startles at the voice, looking around and finding no one else in the courtyard with her. She looks down at Dustfinger's body, prodding his cold cheek with her finger. "I'm not in there, little bird, but I am still here."
"Still alive?"
"Very much so."
"Good." She looks around until she hears the faint sounds of breath, then focuses on where she thinks he must be. "After this is all over with, we're spending a week in some small cottage or another. I'm in serious need of some rest and relaxation." Dustfinger's laugh fills her with a warmth that even the rain can't extinguish, though it's doing its best.
"Give me a moment." A faint shuffle of little feet has Julianne tense, gazing over her shoulder at the doorway that leads into the castle proper. She can see a long, thin shadow spilling out of it, distorted over the cobblestones. "Hide," Dustfinger hisses. She doesn't go back to the tunnel, but she does duck behind the cage Dustfinger's lying in front of. A moment later, Jacopo walks out in a cloak that's too big for him and drags over the wet stones behind him.
"Not so impressive," Jacopo mutters, staring down at Dustfinger. He's pouting and rubbing his cheek where a red welt is starting to rise, the line connecting to a larger red splotch, the broken image of a handprint. He glances away from the body when a small bird lands in the courtyard, but it's not nearly so interesting as the Fire-Dancer. He bends over to trace where Dustfinger's scars had been, remembering the stories Julianne had told him.
"Jacopo," Piper calls from a set of stairs. Jacopo straightens and looks to the Piper, but there's no awe in his face now. He's a tired little boy that needs a nap and the idiots he's traveling with know as much about child-rearing as Julianne knows about making moonshine. "Come along, your grandfather wants to see you."
"What for?" He's still pouting, but he draws closer to the Piper and the castle. Piper grabs him by the scruff of his neck, propelling him up the steps.
"What do you think, you stupid little boy? He wants to know what your mother says when you're alone with her."
"She doesn't say anything important. Mostly she paces and mumbles that the Bluejay should have just said yes when Grandfather asked him to bind a new Book." A new Book? What good would that be if the Book the Adder's tied to is making him rot?
"You're not a very good spy. Maybe we ought to feed you to the Night-Mare! It's been a long time since the creature had anything to eat, and if your grandfather gets his way it won't get to taste the Bluejay in a hurry, either." At least Mo's still alive. He can't bind the Adderhead's Book if he's dead or dying. Julianne's calves are starting to cramp by the time Piper and Jacopo's voices fade and she nearly sits on the bird when she crawls back to Dustfinger.
"Easy, Julianne," he cautions. "You wouldn't want to sit on your mother."
"What," she asks, looking around. The bird chirps beside her knee, its keen eyes gazing up at Julianne and then at the spot where Dustfinger's voice had come from. "Oh, what the fuck? Did I fall down some rabbit hole where up is down and moms are birds?" Dustfinger laughs again, closer than he had been. "How are you guys doing this?"
"A new superpower, I suppose. I picked up a few useful abilities from the realm of Death. It's far more entertaining to be without a body than to be invisible as I traverse the dungeons of the Castle of Night. You can't enjoy it for too long, however, otherwise you forget who you are." Julianne makes a face at that, giving his body a pointed stare. The body moves after another second, Dustfinger sitting up with Julianne's help and pushing his hair off his face.
"I'd kiss you if this weren't so freaking weird." As if sharing the sentiment, Resa flutters up onto Dustfinger's shoulder, opening her beak. He brings a finger to his lips before she can chirp again, calling Gwin to him with a soft whistle. He looks around once the marten is next to him, taking in the stairs Piper had gone up and the windows to their left.
"The faeries tell tales of a plant that turns human beings into animals and animals into humans, but they also say it's dangerous to use it. How long have you been wearing your feather dress?"
"About two hours," Resa says. It feels like a bad trip, seeing Dustfinger rise from the dead a second time and hearing her mother's voice come from a bird's beak. Maybe someone roofied her and this whole thing has been one weird dream.
"Then it's time to take it off again. Luckily for us, this castle has plenty of forgotten chambers and I explored them all before the Piper arrived." He holds up a hand and Resa perches on his finger as he gets to his feet again. His legs are a little wobbly, but he's steady by the time Julianne has straightened up again. "Are you ready, little bird?"
"As long as I can get off my feet while Resa changes, then I'm down for anything," she says, making him smile. He leads them down a passage painted with fish and water-nymphs like the ones that live in the lake surrounding the castle, so detailed that they almost look ready to jump off the walls. The door he opens brings them into a windowless room that, with a whisper of words, comes to life with fiery sparks that cling to the walls.
"That's so cool."
"I'm well-aware of how great I am, thank you." She grins over at him, dropping onto an old cot that must have belonged to a guard long since dead. It's not much better than lying on the cold stones, but her lower back is a wreck and her poor ankles are starting to swell.
"Our son's fine, by the way."
"I know."
"You just know? Then tell me, O Wise One, what else do you know?" His blue eyes glint with mischief as he sits beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders to draw her close. Resa glances away, but her lips are curled up in a familiar smirk. It's nice to see her as herself again, no longer a little swift. "On second thought, maybe we should save this for when we're alone."
"Smart choice." His rubs his nose along hers, their foreheads meeting with a soft bump. It's so comforting to be wrapped up in his arms again, her bones thawing under the liquid fire flowing in his veins. It's like she was always meant to be here, going on stupid adventures and cuddling whenever she has the time for it.
"How'd you get past the Night-Mare," Resa asks, looking over them again. "Tullio told me you and Mo were dragged into the Hall of a Thousand Windows and that a Night-Mare killed you." Dustfinger's smile dims, fading back to the mysterious not-smile that Julianne knows so well.
"I slipped through its black paws just in time." He rubs a hand over his cheek as though to wipe away the feel of the Night-Mare's touch, some of the color leaving his cheeks. "Thankfully, creatures of its kind aren't interested in dead men." Julianne is thankful for this new superpower. She doesn't know what she would have done if she'd found Dustfinger in the same condition as Snapper.
"Where did it come from?"
"Orpheus brought it here with him. It follows him around like a dog. I don't know how he managed it, but he serves the Adder now. He's just had your husband thrown into one of the dungeons under the castle." Resa takes a step forward, her face lighting up with desperate hope.
"Can you take me to him?"
"The cells are deep down and well guarded. I may be able to do it alone, but the three of us would attract far too much attention. This castle will be teeming with soldiers once they discover that the Fire-Dancer is back from the dead again." Resa stares down at the black seeds cupped in her palm and Julianne realizes what she's about to do before Dustfinger.
"A bird would attract less attention than you would." She's got the seeds under her tongue before Julianne can stop her, contorting and shrinking until she's taken the swift's form again. Julianne frowns but opens the door for her mother all the same. She understands Resa's logic, knows how it feels to be helplessly, recklessly in love with someone. Beside her, Dustfinger heaves a sigh and stands up.
"Stay here, little bird. I'll bring your parents back to you."