Archer:

Haymitch can't do this. He might look a little intimidating, but he's a softy inside, Haymitch could never kill someone... I mean, he would but he would judge himself. I wouldn't, it's the Hunger Games and I want him to come back alive but... he always judges himself. About his panic attacks, about how he sat by, locked up in his room while his mother tried desperately to keep them alive.

He thought he was terrible.

I need to think about him in the present tense.

Because he is alive.

I wish I believe he can win.

Maylisee:

I'm no good with a sword. Or spear, or knife, or bow. The only thing I'm halfway good at is a blowdart and that's going to help me a lot in the Hunger Games.

I sit down at the snares station, disgusted with myself. I'm going to die in the bloodbath. I going to die and no one in the Capitol will remember my existence. "Any luck?" a female tribute from District 8 says.

"Uh... a little."

She smirks. "I'm not too grand at anything either, Kelsi, District 8."

"Maylisee. I'm from 12"

"Are you allied with your district or-"

"All of them except Haymitch. Just for the first little while."

"Do you want to be allies?" she says, holding out her hand. I survey her. She has light brown hair and freckles, but she also looks a little sick, maybe it's all the factories in 8, she doesn't look particularly strong, but she'll depend on us so we won't end up with a knife in our back, at least not on the first night.

"Fine, but I'll have to check with the others."

She smiles and gets back to her snare, she's surprisingly good at weaving the ropes together, do they make the kids work at the factories in 8, or are they just taught how. Haymitch comes to sit down after disemboweling the dummies. "You know that you'll just have to kill her eventually" he says after a while. "So I wouldn't ally with everyone I feel sorry for. You're giving them false hope."

"I'm not giving them false hope. If I give her a leg up she might win."

"You know exactly who's going to win, Maylisee. It's the careers. It's that District 1 girl. We're not going to win and neither is she."

He's right. The times up for both the training session and our lives.

Haymitch:

I didn't mean to snap at her but I don't have any regrets about it. She knows as well as I do that we're not going to win, that doesn't stop it from hurting a little. Maybe I should have been kinder, taking someone's last hope away isn't very fun and I've done that too many times to count. I walk to the twelfth floor and collapse on my bed. I'll just stay here until lunchtime. I finger the bracelet Archer made me. I don't want to be too far away from it, the only thing from home that I have. I just stay on my bed, ordering food for the entire lunch, what's the point of going downstairs, seeing my opponents a little more. I'll just feel sorry for the kids that were forced to come here. I need to kill, to get back home. So I can't afford any conscience.

()

"What are you going to do for the personal training?" Maylisee asks. Almost all of the tributes have already gone, it's just us, district 12, left.

"Whatever it is, I'm not telling you." I retort. She rolls her eyes, we sit in silence. William is called. Then me. "Good luck, Maylisee." I say walking out of the waiting room. It's only half ironic.

I grab a knife from the rack. I've been practicing this all week. I go to the obstacle course and string a few dummies there. Good. I climb up on the frame and start running, swinging on the handles and stabbing them, I'm on the monkey bars, the last dummy, I stab it in the chest. It feels warm. Warm. Like a human.

I'm a murderer. Everything feels so distant and far away. I leave the room. I can't. I can't do this.

I run up the stairs and onto the roof. It's too hot, too cold. Can everyone sense it. Can the world sense it.

I can't breathe. Is the world going to kill me. Maybe it should.

I can't do this. I can't do the Hunger Games. I can't.

Everything's spinning. I'm a murderer. I'm going to kill more people. I don't want to kill more people. I've already nearly killed people. I'm a monster. A murderer. I should be killed like the evil thing I am.

I look over the railing. Maybe no one will notice. There are 48 of us.

I can't live like this. I can't.

Warm flesh. I can't take that warmth away. I'm going to do that in the arena. I step over the railing. It's itchy, it's scratchy and there's no Archer to take the itch away.

I took that warmth away.

I jump.

But I bounce back. What the hell? I reach out and touch an invisible barrier. It bounces my hand back.

They must have thought of that. They thought of that didn't they.

Everything's too much. I can't breathe or think or anything. I don't want to live like this, I'm a monster. This is the only way to stop it.

"Haymitch."

It's Maylisee. Of course it's Maylisee. Why wouldn't it be Maylisee.

"I already tried. It doesn't work."

She looks at me, on the ledge and walks towards me. Why? Doesn't she know. Doesn't she know I killed. Doesn't she know that she's walking towards a murderer.

"Don't come near me." I say. "I killed that- it's flesh was warm I-"

I can't get it out. She holds out her hand and pulls me over the railing. I collapse in her arms.

"Tell me what happened."

"Well I- in my personal training thing I killed a thing. With a knife."

"A trainer? Or a dummy? Was it alive?"

"It could have been. I would have killed it if it was alive."

"Is that why you tried to jump off a building?"

"I mean. I don't know. I guess I just panicked. Thought it was a human and freaked." I sniff. "It sounds so damn stupid now."

She strokes my hair. "It's not stupid, Haymitch."

"I tried to kill myself over a training dummy."

We sit down. "You tried to kill yourself because you thought you could be a murderer. I think there's a difference, Haymitch."

"You're right. Of course. You're always right. Just, don't tell anyone else what you saw. Ok."

She smiles weakly. "Who do you think I am?"

I sit up, against the railing. "Thanks."

"You're welcome."

We sit, listening to the wind blow. I'm less itchy, the dizziness has gone.

"Who do you have at home?" she asks after a while

"My mom, my brother, my boyfriend and his sister." I say.

"I have a twin sister, my best friend and her boyfriend. As well as my mom and dad. What happened to your dad?"

"Mining accident."

"I'm sorry about that, it happened to Will and Ashley's parents as well."

We sit in silence, it's calming, I feel a lot better.

"We should probably go downstairs. It's 8:00" she says.

"Yeah, I think they'll announce training scores at about 10:00. We should probably get some food first." I say, getting up. She goes downstairs to the dinning hall and I go to the bathroom to clean my face.

It's nice to have someone here who can take the itch away. It's nice to have someone here who can calm me down.