We dive in deeper on how Tony grieves.

Denial

Grief wasn't new to Tony Stark. He grieved for his parents half his life, but just when he got over his grief, he got saddled up with a magic wizard, a spider teenager, flying in a doughnut airship and then meetings the Guardians of the Galaxy...who were interesting to say the least.

Then, Thanos came and you know how that planned out.

He lost the only person who he couldn't live without.

Peter Parker.

The haunting words of, I don't wanna go, please sir, I don't die, that made Tony crumble as his kid turned to ashes. Those baby brown eyes that looked straight at him before he vanished.

A parent should have never witness their child dying.

Nor should a child should see a parent dying. And that's Peter Parker's story. He was too young to actually remember his real parents, but Aunt and Uncle has always been his legal guardians.

They weren't rich, or poor, but Peter had everything he needed...until Uncle Ben was shot in the chest. It was his own fault. Living in grief alone as he tried to fix what has already been done...by being Spider-man.

It was a coping mechanism.

But was it enough?

Meanwhile, Tony Stark was already living in a nightmare of his own. Being betrayed, getting the Arc reactor, and so much more. His parents death took a toll on his health, in which he drank heavily.

He wasn't suited for children. Didn't wanna mess up a kid of his own, and always told himself that. So, he ignored the gnawing feeling about wanting kids of his own, until he met Pepper Potts.

Yes, they had a rough start, but their relationship suddenly turned into a bud and eventually blossomed into more opportunities. One where Tony was eager to have kids of his own.

Little did he know...that he already had a kid of his own.

He met Peter shortly after the disband of the Avengers, and that destroyed him. Being betrayed by his friend and having to deal will Ross all the freaking time now on the Rogue Avengers.

Tony was impressed when he saw what the kid was able to do. He was also freaking intelligent. If it weren't for Tony to sadly deny that Peter Parker wasn't his secret child, people would have already thought that Peter was his biological child.

Though, he was worried to see such a young person to fight crimes with a wunzie as his suit. Tony even tried to warn him about the dangers of being a superhero. The sacrifices Peter would have to take, the pain and loss.

It didn't take long for Tony to realize that Peter has already loss so many things already.

"When you can do the things that I can, but you don't, and then the bad things happen," Peter says as he bowed his head for a moment before looking meeting Tony's gaze with a mournful expression. "they happen because of you..."

Those words...so pained and true. Tony ached for the kid that lost everything. Because he's been on the same boat, and he knows the feeling of guilt and the weight. The need to save the world just so they could forget the one thing they couldn't;the one thing they loved.

The decision was made afterwards. Protect the kid from danger by making him a Spider suit and also interning him.

As the months went by, he realized that Peter was more than meets the eye. Not only he was intelligent, but he was the most kindest kid out there. Something inside of Tony made his mind go protective mode every time someone or something hurt him.

When a year went by, he went full dad mode sometimes.

And he was beginning to think of Peter as a son to him.

But there was two things that he wished he could have known sooner.

One, he didn't realize how much Peter meant to him until it was too late. Two, Tony never would have thought that grieving for Peter was probably the worst things he has ever experienced.

And for the second time, he was going to grieve again for the kid.

Tony didn't realize he was screaming. Didn't realize how his throat burned with soreness and pain. The way Peter stared back with those empty eyes will haunt him forever, just like when the kid turned into ashes with his pleading eyes to save him.

But this time?

There was no way to bring Peter back.

His eyes burned from tears that was streaming down his cheeks as he placed his lips on the boy's forehead. He then buried his nose into Peter's curly hair and broke down into a sob, closing his eyes so tightly, praying to whatever higher than him can save his kid.

Tony didn't care that people were surrounding him and kid as they watched with mournful expression. He just cradled Peter's head against his palm as shifted Peter to lie sideways, his head in Tony's lap.

Every so often Tony would hitch his breath from suppressing a sob. Some people exchanged sad glances to each other while the other half had to look away from the heartbreaking scene.

A 16 year old kid just sacrificed himself for the world. For them.

No one knew what to do, how to act, or even to begin with forming a sentence. But they all had the same thoughts: The kid shouldn't have died like this.

The war was over, though, thanks to Spiderman.

For Tony though...it was Peter Parker. A youthful teen that had yet to go to college, to find love, to be successful and to have a family. All of which were ripped away just by a snap of a finger.

Tony's eyes remained downcasted, allowing some tears to fall and land on the kid's pale face. Peter looked so...calm;so serene and peaceful...but at the same time, it would scar Tony forever, because the kid would never wake up. But it was something he wished he could have seen again in less dire moments.

All he wanted was for Peter to get up, smile and hug him so tightly til he couldn't breath, but Tony wouldn't have cared, he would just be glad that his other kid was alive. Healthy, and happy.

But oh, how the tides have turned.

Instead, the kid's body was half scorched due to the stones burning him alive, his hair used to be so curly and soft, a temptation for Tony to run his fingers through the boy's fluffy hair, but now it was matted with blood and ashes.

Peter's face had minor cuts and bruises. Eyes swollen from crying and being hit too many times. Everything little detail wracked Tony's mind with guilt. Peter wasn't supposed to have scars, cuts, or being stuck under a building causing him to have PTSD.

It was too much.

Too much for such a young child.

"I'm sorry," Tony whispered as he buried his head on Peter's still chest. "I'm so sorry," he repeated, those words coming in like a mantra as he hiccuped and planting another kiss on the kid's bloodied temple.

"Tony," A soft whisper entered his ears. Tony's shoulders trembled as he craned his pained neck to the familiar voice that calmed him during his times of troubles. He looked over to Pepper, his wife, the love of his life who had tears clinging under chin, a sorrowful facial expression.

"Please, don't take him away me," he pleaded, tightening his grip on Peter, his tired eyes meeting his wife's. Pepper's heart clench at the sight. The pleading and desperation to just hold on just alittle while longer.

She couldn't say anything as he hung his head down, grief-stricken.

"I-I failed him," Tony croaked, fresh new tears filling his eyes quickly.

"Oh, Tony," she murmured.

He blinked and let the first tears drop and soak onto Peter. "I couldn't save him," he whispered in defeat.

There was quick shuffling and he felt a gentle hand rest on his cheek. He looked up to see Pepper's eyes glistening with understanding. "You didn't fail him, Tony," she said softly, using her thumb to caress her husband's cheek.

Tony dropped down and gave a shuddering breath. "But I did...I was supposed to take him home."

After he finished those words, Pepper didn't have the answer for him to reassure him or even make him feel at ease. No one would be able to respond to that.

No one.

Pepper felt a hand squeeze her shoulder softly. She turned her neck and saw Rhodey giving a small gesture to Tony, who still had yet to move and let go of Peter. The woman nodded, feeling defeated.

She was his wife! How could she not comfort her own husband from grief?! She watched with sadness as Rhodey placed a gentle hand on the grieving man's tense shoulder.

"Hey, Tony, why don't we take Peter home then? I'm-" He swallowed thickly, squeezing Tony's shoulder softly. "I'm sure he would that."

Tony contemplated, allowing his tormented mind to think, before sniffing and nodding feebly. "Y-yeah, he-he would like that, wouldn't he?" Rhodey nor Pepper would be able to handle Tony after Peter would be taken to the morgue.

They knew that Tony was a logical man and that he knew that Peter was no longer of this earth, but Tony was a man of surprises as well. And he could become possessive of those he cared about. Especially Peter.

Rhodey gave a weak smile. "Lets get him home then."

Pepper and Rhodey could only pray that Tony's grief would be on the logical side.

Losing the kid once was already hard, they knew that, but they should've expected that losing the kid twice was going to get to him completely.

He screamed when Peter was taken. Tony yelled out curses, threats and even tried to tackle someone down. It took him hard. The last thing he saw was Peter bring zipped up by a body bag and being taken to a morgue.

Half of him wanted to believe he was alive. That his kid would wake up, but the other half was being logical. The kid couldn't have survived the snap...couldn't have survived it. It was a battle between logical and illogical.

And it seemed that both were losing...

Eventually, they had to give him sedatives to help him sleep.

Tony was transferred to the medbay, and Pepper was there at his side, rubbing a soft, gentle hand over her lover's rough hand. There was still dried blood on the side of his head. Ashes were running carelessly in his hair and the other hand was holding Spider-Man's mask...

Peter's Mask.

It was gripped so tightly that she was surprised that it didn't rip...but lets be honest...it was made out of the finest clothing that Tony could find to protect the spider kid. One of the ways on how Tony showed his care towards Peter.

Her sad eyes wandered to Tony's cheeks that were dried with tears. She has never seen Tony cry that much...or that loud. It was horrifying...to see a child;a kid, who sacrificed his life...just to save theirs.

Hot tears sprang into Pepper's eyes.

At first, Pepper couldn't imagine having her own child to sacrifice willingly, but then, she realized that her imagination...became true. She wasn't close to the spider kid, but was always fond of his bravery, and courage.

The fondness that settled in her eyes when he would wave at her and smile wide.

Pepper lost a child too, she realized.

And she broke down.

Nat was gone...

And so was Spider-Man.

The Avengers didn't have anything to say. They lost two greatest heroes, all out of self-sacrifice. Captain America held his broken shield in his hands. His whole body was battered with bruises and blood. All of them were.

But they couldn't compare to the pain with losing their friends and allies.

The Avengers weren't the ones to blame themselves as well.

Doctor Strange stayed to help get the Avengers and everyone else patched up. After all...he was a doctor, and he was always surrounded by death. He knew the mourning. He knew the pain. That's what doctors had to face, and he had to stay strong to those who did die under his care, but having to know that this kid was going to die in the future tore him to pieces. Out of the 14,000,605 timelines he'd seen...this one had to take Peter away.

They all had different thoughts on how they could've been an easier way. One where there wasn't tragedy in losing a team member. Or a kid.

Their whole bodies screamed tiredness, and grief. Their eyes held haunting images of the young spider wielding the stones and snapping, before being burnt alive and blood running down the kid's forehead as Tony's screams echoed in their minds.

It was a nightmare to never forget.

Rhodey strolled in, but his posture was slumped and tired.

"Tony's under sedatives...he should be up by tomorrow morning," he said quietly.

"And that's gonna make it better?" Clint asked, exasperated. He looked down and crossed his arms to his chest tightly. "Tony is never going to be the same-we aren't going to be same anymore..."

No one was going to be the same. Not after Nat and not after Spider-Man.

"Clint," Steve said softly, placing a gentle hand on the archer's shoulder. "Spider-Man knew what he was doing...we-we," he swallowed hard. "we knew what he was going to do..."

Clint gave him a pointed look. "Spider-Man, was a kid! He was thrown into war that we caused," he spat.

"...And he wanted to use them for good. He knew the consequences of being a superhero," Rhodey returned sharply, but then looked away. "I admit though, he was too young for the superhero life..."

No one was able to deny that. Hell, even Scarlet Witch and her brother was older when the Avengers recruited them. Of course, Peter was a vigilante under Tony Stark's watch, but still!

"...I felt the pain," Wanda whispered.

Everyone turned to her.

She looked at everyone else with pained eyes. "I felt the hurt and pain Peter felt..."

Their faces darkened.

"So...Peter died suffering?" Rhodey whispered, eyes horrified and face pale.

Wanda nodded slightly and balled up her hands to be in fists. "He-he stayed alive this long...just to say goodbye to Tony," she said ever so quietly.

They grimaced in return. This kid had the chance to die quickly, but instead, he chose to stay alive just awhile longer and say goodbye to his mentor. If they didn't know any better, all of them would have though that Spider-man was Tony's son.

Though, it didn't change the fact that they lost a young, innocent soul.

"I should've snapped as soon as I was able," Bruce murmured, touching his injured arm that had a cast and supports.

"It wasn't your fault," Steve said firmly and looked at his broken down team. "Spider-man-or Peter saved us all. And yes, he was too young to be taken away from the world, but he understood the consequences." He closed his eyes and reopened them. "And the sacrifices. That goes along with Nat too."

"How are we able to do this without them?"

Steve blinked and sighed. "By living for them," he answered plainly.

He got stares and looks. The hell meant?

Another sigh escaped the Captain. "They all sacrificed their lives in order for us to live. They wanted us to live...and I have a feeling they wouldn't want to see you guys waste your lives in dark state. The least we can do is honor it."

It took a minute to process the whole idea, and even though it may take awhile, they were willing to do so.

"The infinity stones," Steve said slowly. "Is in...Peter's hand?"

Rhodey rolled his eyes. "Yes, Steve!"

"I don't understand," Steve concluded. It was only 45 minutes after the Avengers went to take a rest from the whole debacle. Everyone needed it. Steve just got down showering and getting dressed before hitting the hay, only to be disrupted by Rhodey who seemed to be in distress.

"Peter didn't have a gauntlet or special glove to protect the stones from his hand! Which means that the infinity stones are literally in his flesh! His suit literally melted, making the stones to dig into Pete's skin." Rhodey exclaimed. Frustrated.

Steve grimaced.

That had to hurt. Immensely.

"Can we remove them?" Steve asked.

Rhodey hesitated. "That's what we're worried about...its like...connected to Peter's veins...if we remove them, it could cause damage to person who is removing them. A scalpel or large tweezers will probably melt the whole damn thing. You've seen what the stones can do," Rhodey said.

Steve rubbed his temples and sighed. "What about T'Challa's sister, Shuri?"

Rhodey shrugged. "They have advanced technology, and she got the idea of being able to remove the mind stone from Vision...but she is no doctor, and I have a feeling that Tony would want Peter to be fixed up before...y'know," He trailed off.

"Right..." Steve murmured. "I'll see what we can do. I'm going to check Tony before I go to bed, and you should too."

What felt like eons, Rhodey gave a small smile to him "Don't think I'll be able too. Gotta help my buddy through the process of this."

Steve nodded. "We won't leave him."

Rhodey gave a curt nod. "Good."

Pepper was grateful that her mom and dad was able to take care of Morgan for a bit. She was miles away from her cabin, and though she desperately wants to go home, Tony was still in recovery. And that's where she'll stay until Tony is recovered.

Unfortunately, Pepper didn't how to explain why mommy and daddy were grieving. Morgan was too young to feel grief.

Just like Peter.

No doubt, they have both agreed to do their ever lasting best to be there for their daughter.

A knock interrupted her thoughts as she looked up.

Steve.

"Hey," he greeted softly. "I just wanted to see if you needed something."

Pepper shook her head and gestured the unoccupied chair that was on the opposite of Tony's bed. He took it eagerly and sat down, sighing while doing so. They stayed silent for a bit, watching Tony's chest rise up and down, his eyes twitching from a dream...or nightmare, they didn't know.

Steve cleared his throat to get her attention. She looked up with an attentive gaze.

His eyes softened and he looked down again. "I-I want to apologize...for Peter," he said. Pepper's gaze turned sad and she blinked back the tears that clung onto her eye lashes as she bit her lip from crying.

"I know how much Peter has impacted your life..." Steve started again.

He shut up when she held a hand to stop him.

"I'm sorry...I went to far..."

"Its-its fine," Pepper choked and looked at her husband. "I'm not the only one to be fighting in losing a child."

Steve felt a stab of pain in his heart. He wasn't a parent. Never knew the familial feeling towards a kid, but seeing the couple that held weight of sadness on their shoulders, he prayed to God that he wouldn't experience that...ever.

"Peter was a good kid," Pepper whispered. "Always wanted to help out. He even talked through his criminals into stopping their ways. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it ended him on a hospital bed."

She chuckled humorlessly. "He was already self-sacrificing before Thanos came."

Steve swallowed the bile that crept up his throat. So Peter was more than meets the eye?

"He was intelligent for a young kid...just like Tony," Pepper murmured, brushing a hand over her lover's forehead. The man stirred but remained in asleep. "Peter even made his web shooters and helped Tony build other stuff in the Spider-Man suit."

Steve's eyes widened. He would have never expected for Tony to invite a teenager over to his private lab. Non the less, let them make their own inventions.

"...So I've heard," Steve said quietly, elbows shifting to be resting on his knees.

"He was an intern under Tony's guidance, as well as being Spider-Man too. Made it more...non suspicious when he patrolled after school," She said, sighing and rubbing a hand over her tired face.

"You should sleep," Steve informed, his brows furrowing together.

Pepper shook her head and quirked her lips upward into the smallest of smiles. "You should too, I wasn't the one to fight Thanos."

Steve chuckled and nodded in response before sitting up and straightening his back. He bobbed up his head up and down as a goodbye and turned around to walk to the exit. The Captain stopped in his tracks and turned around to face Pepper.

"If you need anything...I'm a few doors away. Let me know when he wakes up," he said sincerely.

Pepper nodded. "Goodnight."

"Night."

Tony looked around the darkened space. Nothing was here and nothing to be found Something wasn't right. Something wasn't okay. He looked at himself with confusion. He was in a broken Ironman suit. Dirt, and ashes covering his hand plates made him nauseous

"Mister Stark!" A familiar scream made his whip his around to find that voice.

Peter.

Where was Peter?!

"Pete! Kid, where are you?" Tony yelled back frantically. He ran towards the wails that were echoing around him. He stopped, his eyes bulging out.

A trail of blood.

So much blood.

He ran past it in favor of finding his kid, ignoring his stomach churning at the sight. Tony didn't know how long he was running, but if it meant finding his kid, he'd run through the ends of the earth.

This wasn't how Peter Parker was going to die.

Never.

Tony felt breathless, his chest heaving at every moment of running. Everything felt like the opposite of okay.

Just when he thought he was there...he was there too late. He halted, eyes widened at view of Thanos choking...

"Peter!" Tony screamed, protectiveness washing over him like a tsunami. His wanted to move;to shield Peter from the pain that he was going through, but black ropes wrapped around his feet, making him immobile.

He grunted and kicked, eyes still on the feeble child.

"I told you I was inevitable," Thanos laughed deviously, tightening his grip around the spider child's neck. He watched it all as Peter struggled against Thanos' hold, face turning bluer and purple by the second.

"Please!" Tony begged, tears glistening in man's eyes.

"M-mister Stark...p-please hel-help," Peter choked out, tears running down his cheeks. A hand went out to Tony in desperation.

He reached a hand out to Peter.

"You can do this, buddy," he whispered.

He was almost there. Just the tip of his fingertips-

A sickening snap entered his ears and his pupils went large. The hand that was reached out to Tony fell by Peter's side, his whole still now.

"No!" Tony yelled, twisting his body to get near Peter. Thanos smirked and dropped the precious child onto the black floor before using his gauntlet to disappear. The ropes retracted and he almost fell forward, but gained his movement as he ran towards the motionless body.

"Pete, Peter, Oh my God, please-please don't do this," Tony cried out, falling to his knees and gently moving the boy's head onto his lap.

"Come on, kid," he pleaded, rubbing a thumb over Peter's blotchy cheek."Y-you can't leave me, buddy. Whatever happened to being friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, huh? Who's gonna look out for them?"

Peter's bloodshot eyes stared back at him with emptiness as an answer. Cuts and bruises around his neck and twisted limbs was all that screamed at Tony. No shout or cries of joy from the kid.

Nothing.

His shoulders trembled as he shook his head in denial. No...nononononono, not this!

"Peter, you need to wake up, please," Tony pressed, pleading eyes searching the kid for any movements.

Still nothing.

Peter...please," he croaked.

After no response, he blood curdling scream tore his whole body as it echoed through the vacant room of nothingness.

Tony's eyes shot open as he yelled out and sat up, forehead covered in a sheet of sweat. He fumbled and leaped out of the hospital bed with fear. The IV tore at his arm and winced as it let go, blood running down his arm now while the other hand was still clenching Peter's mask.

"Peter!" He shouted and unsteadily got to his feet, trying to desperately to see his kid.

"Tony, Tony!" A voice called after him. He ignored as he groaned in pain, hand settling over his abdomen as it flared up in pain. He was tired and bleary. Medication overwhelmed his tired body as gentle hands stopped him and helped him up on the bed.

He blinked and looked up at the ceiling light, suddenly being covered by a blurry image of what looked like a head.

"Tony?" It asked. There was worry leaking into the voice, but it sounded...calming.

"Pepper?" He whispered.

Tony blinked again and saw a more clearer version of his wife hovering over him, a small smile and exhausted eyes greeting him. "Hi honey," she said softly, running her fingers through his hair.

He closed his eyes and relaxed for a moment.

Then he opened them up again and looked straight into Pepper's eyes with his pleading ones. "Where is Peter?"

She stopped and bit her lip, eyes welling up with tears again. "Tony-"

"Where. Is. He?" He asked shakily.

Pepper didn't say a word as she leaned back and brought a hand over her hand, bowing her head as if to conceal her answer.

"Pep, please," he begged. "I have to see him. I have to see that he is alive. Please Pepper!"

The CEO grasped Tony's hand softly and squeezed it softly. He was able to see streaks of tears running down her face.

"Tony...he-he..."

There was an instant reaction from the billionaire.

"No," he whispered, suddenly clutching the fabricated mask to his chest, tears welling up into his eyes.

"Tony...there was no other way," she said quietly as she brought her hand to caress Tony's cheek. Pepper met gazes with Tony again as he stared up with large eyes that shouted anguish and despair.

She took a breath and looked at her lover with the upmost sympathetic expression. "Tony...Pete's gone."

Review and let me know! I would feel like Tony's logical and illogical would fight against each other. One moment Tony could be in denial, the next he knows that Peter is officially dead. Please let me know if there was any typos or mistakes!

My family's cat is being put down. I don't know if I'll update next week. But I will update my other fics this weekend. Thank you.

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