Only once Rey freed herself from the sticky substance did she leave to join her friend in a hunt for food. Thankfully Finn had kept his promise and awaited her just outside the door, along with a bright smile on his face. At one time she had felt odd when he would clasp her hand and take off running, leading her to whatever destination.
But now it was a comfort to have his large hand surrounding her smaller one while he led her through the winding halls to the mess hall. She gladly listened to him ramble about the mission he had been a part of.
It was only when they had joined Rose and the young mechanic had given a sharp jab to his ribs did Finn cease his prattle.
Rose gave a quick smile to Rey as she tucked into the food. "How are you feeling?" She asked watching the force user stuff her face in a rather undignified manner.
Rey for her part decided to answer with a mouth full of food. "Better than I thought." She held up her hand signaling Rose to wait as she finished her mouthful. "That Bacta treatment is amazing." She marveled before taking a gulp of water.
Rose for her part nodded along with Finn the two friends were now clear testaments to how effective the treatment was. "I'm glad. Finn was really worried about you." She spoke between bites not caring for decorum but clearly less famished than Rey. "As soon as he found out he stayed by your side the whole time"
The young woman's brow furrowed at that and looked over questioningly to Finn, the clear question on her face. Why. Growing up alone one had to constantly look for the hidden meaning; doing so had saved her life many times before - A hard habit to break for someone like her.
Finn gave a shrug "I didn't want you to wake up alone." And as if that answered it entirely he shrugged. "Everyone was worried about you." The young man continued eating and watched his companions with a satisfied expression.
His more empathetic tone caught Rey off guard. She was nothing, which had been the ugly truth. And yet in such a short amount of time she had become something to so many. More than she had ever dreamed of. Rey studied her dish; with small pockets of food left, only such a short time ago she ate alone, meager powdery meals. Or went hungry most nights, to her, this meal would have been a feast, and she was thankful. But it was still overwhelming at times to see how her life had changed so much.
Rose broke her concentration as she leaned closer across the table "Hey Rey. Do you think Kylo Ren ordered the attack?" She rushed out in hushed tones "Everyone is saying it was an assassination attempt on you."
Looking at Rose and Finn's faces Rey balked slightly not at all happy with the idea that Ben could have ordered the attack. It could make sense, but her mind quickly shut that down as a possibility. "It wasn't him." She said, "He didn't even know about it."
The young woman spoke with such certainty it seemed odd to the mechanic and the ex-storm trooper. Their wide eyes were the initial response before Rose broke the silence - keeping to their hushed tones - "How do you know that?" Her brown furrowing with speculation, for one to speak so resolutely she must have some information they didn't. At least that was Rose's reasoning.
She had spoken without thought, and Rey realized she was in a precarious position. She didn't want to lie to her friends, to that that mattered to her, but yet she couldn't tell them about the Bond. It was personal, it was theirs alone. Simply it felt wrong to tell anyone. Going with her instincts she lied. "The Force" With a nonchalant shrug she hoped they would buy the fabrication.
Finn readily accepted the vague explanation and offered a shrug as well. "It wouldn't make sense if he had ordered it. He would have been a part of the attack that guy really loves to cause destruction and mayhem." His dark eyes shifted to meet Rose's "He wouldn't have missed a chance to kill Rey himself." His thoughts returned to Starkiller base. A subtle roll of his shoulder was the only outward expression of his discomfort; he could still remember the searing pain slicing his back. The scar ached from time to time, and the ghost of the assault still touched his mind.
Rose sighed and gave a slight pout "I had credits on it being him." Looking at the two friends she wondered how much they had shared. Finn's worry and concern for his friend harkened back to when they were working together. Yes, there were more important things to worry about. Yes, it really wasn't her business. And yes, she shouldn't care. But Rose did. She wondered if there was a place in his thoughts or his heart for her. Or if Rey had taken it all. She hated the tinge of jealousy that plagued her at infrequent moments. But especially now as she watched them laugh quietly together, how their eyes lit up like there was no space between them.
Finn chuckled "No seriously Poe had them all eating out of his hand!" He asserted as he watched Rey chuckle at the antics.
Casually a pilot came to Finn's side and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Sorry to interrupt ladies but they need your man up at the meeting." The pilot shrugged "Sorry Tico."
The pilot gave a wink to Rose as the pair began walking away. Rose rolled her eyes, but a tell-tale blush showed that thinking of Finn as hers was an alluring concept. She huffed but turned to watch the two walk off. With a wistful voice, she interrupted the silence that had held the two women for a moment "He played it off. But he's always worried about you." Her voice dropping to that longing and saddened tone.
Rey couldn't help the small smile as she watched Finn walk away. She knew it was hard for him in the beginning to be a part of the resistance but he'd found his place in it. She was happy that he'd found a place and a purpose. She let out a small chuckle before turning her attention back to Rose. "He worries, that's Finn."
She easily pushed aside her empty plate and leaned on the cold metal table, arms crossed to cradle her chin as she watched Rose's cherub-like features. The scavenger had known loneliness, it had been with her all her life, and she could almost smell it on Rose now. "You know" She began seeking to catch the mechanics attention "he was beside himself when you were hurt."
Her dark eyes snapped to meet Rey's hazel eyes as she recalled how happy she had been to see him when she woke. She felt cared for, even - she shook her head halting those thoughts from growing any further. Feeling awkward she shifted in her seat and cleared her throat before responding "That's just because I saved the Lurdo." For good measure, she rolled her eyes and crossed her arms trying to show ambivalence, and failing.
A soft chuckle was all the response Rey would give. Rose could try and dismiss it all she liked but Rey saw him, how he worried and fretted over her still body. How he carefully marked her breathing and dotingly tried to make sure she was as comfortable.
Rey's eyes drifted to the metal table and her thoughts turned to another, someone else who had shown worry at her condition. Ben. What did that mean? Try as she might she still couldn't resolve the enigma that was her dark partner. Her mind turned to how his stare had seemed so different than before. Ben was an intense person but his eyes raking over her body was something new. And she didn't know what to make of that. For so long she had no one, and now... she had so many she still wasn't sure how to handle it all. What it all meant. Her eyes flickered to Rose and wondered if perhaps she had the answers. "Rose, what is a friend?" She asked without hesitation, for if Rose could help her feel a little less lost it was worth a shot.
The question gave the young mechanic pause. It was a question one would expect from a child and for a moment she wondered if Rey was pulling some sort of prank. But seeing her earnest curious expression she dismissed that idea. Which meant the honest question needed an honest answer. "Well, a friend is someone that you like." She started in a halting manner, letting out a frustrated sigh. How could she explain such a vague concept to someone who had only known survival and war? Thankfully Rose was up for the challenge "It's someone who you trust not just in a fight but to be there for you just as you are there for them. It goes both ways" She spoke in a more assured tone "Not because either of you has to but because you want to. Your heart hurts when they hurt, and you want the best for them." Rose paused wondering if any of this was making sense.
Rey's brow furrowed as she mulled this all over. "I guess it makes some sense. But – "She halted herself and pursed her lips as she wondered how to ask about Ben's behavior from before. Her thoughts went back to those dark warm eyes that had seemed to be glued to her every move.
Listening to Rey's halting speech seemed to show some confusion. The mechanic rushed in, eager to help her understand. "Okay think of Finn." The words tumbled from her mouth before she had a moment to think, was she ready to hear about Rey's feelings for the man? Could she handle that? But the words were out there was no way to shove them back inside. "What do you think of him?" she asked pushing away her worries.
Rey turned to focus her eyes on the metal table. Finn was her constant companion, she hated it when he was in pain just like Rose said. But it didn't feel the same as she did about Ben. Finn was her friend, he trusted her as she trusted him. But still, it felt wrong to tell him about Ben, and even about everything that happened on the island. "Finn, he's someone I trust. I can see your point, he's a friend." She looked up to Rose and tried to show a smile, to hide the conflict of an unasked question. If Finn was a friend, what was Ben? He surely wasn't just her enemy anymore.
For her part, Rose tried not to let her relief show as Rey spoke. "But...Do you want him to yourself?" She pressed, heart racing, she was afraid to find the truth before. But now she had to know.
Soft brown eyes widened slightly and quickly she shook her head "No." she said quickly "I just want to be one of his friends." She nodded feeling happy with that statement. But thinking of Ben she wondered, Did she want him to herself? In her mind's eye, she played out a scenario, with his arms wrapped around another person. And while she knew that more than likely would never happen it still left her feeling uncomfortable and even slightly irritated. "What would it mean if someone did?" She asked with a furrowed brow, not quite liking her thoughts in this.
Thankfully the answer was so quick Rose had no doubt that Rey didn't see Finn in that light. But her next question confused her then. Doing her due diligence as her friend Rose explained. "Well if someone did. That's not just a friend, it typically means they really like that person. Maybe even love." She answered with a shrug.
Love. That was a possibility, in the same way, that anything was possible. And while she tried to shake it from her mind Rey found it sticking around, refusing to let go. Forcing a smile Rey easily changed the topic to more comfortable things like engines and ships. This was something each woman knew well and something they could bond over. But now for Rey, it was a way to hide from the thoughts their conversation had drummed up in her. And to some extent, the same was true for young Rose, as neither woman really wanted to dwell on what each relationship really meant.
Hours later tucked away in her cot under her black cloak Rey lay awake thinking about those dark eyes. At one time they were that of a monster, but now? Things were easier when she knew nothing and saw her world in black and white. But now she knew too much she couldn't call him an enemy any more than she could call him a monster now "Not an enemy" she whispered into the black night as she turned and curled the cloak closer to her. A friend? She thought to herself wondering if that title felt any better than the enemy, it didn't. It felt wrong, she wasn't sure how but it was wrong.
Her body ached, begging her for sleep, for respite from this conundrum. She let loose a huff of annoyance before tossing once more and resolving that Ben Solo was neither friend nor enemy to her, something else. He was Ben and she was Rey and somehow that made the most perfect sense to her. Finally, her tired eyes drifted shut, leading her to dreams of grassy fields and clear skies.